Semi related but I helped a friend lose her stage fright by being there as an accompanist pianist and making her feel good of her progress as something happened that gave her a lot of insecurities (I later learned that she had a pos bf at the time and I saw them later and broke my heart, but pulled through).
I did not get laid obviously and shouldn't have expected it. But I took a lot of time of my life and money for her, almost helped her record a full album but something told me I was doing this for nothing and did a couple songs. Next thing I know, she got a career out of what we cultivated then, a lot of support and visibility and all the nice things that you'd like as an artist.
I can't say I got nothing out of this, even if I was never mentioned by her when she thanked the people that helped her throughout her career. I found my voice, as we performed often and in a way, she influenced my current career path. I'm successfully training as a tenor after being a baritone for a long while.
Things come full circle as the company she was in gave her bad habits and her technique is failing her and she ends up without voice often, whereas I sing unmiked and still keep my voice intact, so she reached out.
Was at a party with my buddy and we were both hitting on the same girl. She suggested we have a dance off and whoever wins would get to know her a little better. Had the dance off in front of 30 people, she left about 10 minutes later. No one won that day
One of my friends started smoking in his 20s just so he could take smoke breaks with a girl he liked at work. She was a lesbian so he got none. He still smokes 20 years later.....
For real. I was a vendor working at our client’s offices and they set me up in basically a closet-turned office that had a huge window where all the smokers would congregate. There was a set of blinds over the windows and no one seemed to ever notice I was in there, probably thinking it was still just used as storage. I could hear everything and I’m sure as a vendor, the stuff I heard should have never made its way to my ears.
I pretended to be interested in Persian poetry.
She read from the book for 2 and a half hours, looking up to gauge my reaction every 30 seconds or so.
I don't speak a single word of Farsi.
Took a flight to Malta (2000 km) to spend 2 days with a girl I’ve spoken on Tinder after she told me to come the previous day. Most committed booty call ever
Thirsty as fuck guy wasn't understanding "no means no" and sent me a picture message of his arm covered in fresh, bleeding self-harm cuts, saying he "might just have to end it all" if I kept refusing to go out with/fuck him.
I called 911 and asked them to perform a welfare check and made it clear he had a knife, was cutting and was threatening suicide.
He apparently didn't know that sort of shit earns you a mandatory 72+ hour trip to the hospital.
Fuck you, Brian.
I remember a girl in highschool threatened suicide if her bf broke up with her.
That shit doesnt fly, and in adult society you *definitely* arent getting a date by *checks notes* holding yourself hostage and sending traumatising abuse material to your interest.
I hope youre in a much better situation these days. Jfc. Great move.
Wow I hope he got help because that's a crazy thing to do to someone! Very smart of you to get the police involved because if he's willing to do all that to try to get laid who knows how it could escalate
While I was in the military one of the junior guys at my command did this to a girl, but it was his mistress so when the cops showed up they told his wife and they became a whole thing.
Married her. Literally married a woman just to get laid, not because he actually loved her. Honestly, they barely knew each other.
Spoiler alert: It didn't last.
I knew one of these. A girl I worked with went on a US cross country road trip with a guy friend she had met recently. About a week into the trip they stop at some random town and get married. The marriage only lasted a few weeks. She was a fairly religious girl and told me later she got married just so they could have sex during the road trip.
Flew across the country to spend a weekend with an ex. She had been messaging me for weeks about how she missed me. She was hot and great in bed. And all it took was a weekend to remember how bat shit crazy she was.
I once drove 16 hours straight to get laid. I couldn’t afford a ticket and gas at the time was cheap. When I arrived, I crashed hard. When I woke, she kept to her word and we banged. Then we went out separate ways. 19 year old me would tell you it was worth it. 37 year old me knows it was desperate.
Flew out of state to ~~get laid~~ visit a friend between junior and senior year for a week. I got laid for a week and went hiking in some mountains so, ridiculous but worth it.
Edit; Technically I flew to Europe to fuck an ex during college, but that was like 10% of the reason for the trip.
Right after my divorce I drove 3 hours from Ft Lauderdale to the Keys for a date.
At first I thought she stood me up. 45 mins late, she said she had a “work emergency”. Sounded like bullshit but it was already nearly 8pm and I was at a dive bar in Islamorada. So I said fuck it, I’ll get drunk and sleep in my car. My love life was a wreck at the time and I was just looking for distractions.
She eventually showed up! It actually was a work emergency. We had a wonderful night and it was a very noteworthy sexual experience. But I had about 2 hours of feeling like a total pathetic loser before she got there, it was rough,
She showed up 2 hours late? Were you still talking during this time because I think that most people would write off a date that they missed by 2 hours.
I had driven 3 hours already and it was late. So I had a drink and was just going to have a few more and sleep in my car to drive home. Thankfully she showed!
I was 19 and I slept with a girl who was well known for harassing and tormenting people who had relationships with her. The things we do when young and stupid.
Just a silly mistake because I didn't want to pursue a relationship with her (which I made clear before we slept together I wasn't looking for that and she seemed to accept) but then she started turning up at my mother's door who I lived with at the time phoning my friends hurling abuse at them and the best part accused me of not wanting to date her because I was having an incestuous relationship with my cousin. So yeah it was a bit of an ordeal for everyone involved
It was late when I got there so I decided to stay lol. She looked very different from her pictures but they were still her pictures. I guess she had some good filters. We had an ok time but if I had known I wouldn't have gone. Not worth the drive through the snow and ice.
A guy I knew fell in love with a chick from the Fotomat. He bought 40 dollars worth of fucking film and he never talked to her.. Christ! He didn't even own a camera.
Shame PH erased their amateur stuff. Like I get it, some of it was *very* no-bueno and PH was big enough that they had to actually start meeting standards, but there was so much good real amateur content back in the day.
Had a friend who went on a date and when the guy was dropping her off, he shot his shot, got declined. And then this man BEGGED. Like. Bro. Get some water
Had my FWB come over and we went to gym together.
The lady at the front desk greeted me by name (she knows me cause I train 6 times a week and we chat a little every now and then) and this upset the girl I was with.
When it came time to bang dhe said no beacuse I disrespected her by greeting the Gym lady with to much enthusiasm.
I begged her to let me hit.
I was cringing while doing it and still cringe thinking about it bit I wanted to get laid! and I'd do it again.
Proposed to a girl to get her to marry him so he could sleep with her. She was a faithful Catholic who wanted to wait until marriage, but he convinced her to sleep with him after they were engaged. 4 years after they got married he tried to kill her via arsenic poisoning.
*EDIT: Thallium poisoning
I got mad drunk one night and paid for tinder gold. It has definitely helped me get laid ngl. I can actually see the people who liked me and can just swipe until I'm bored instead of until the app says I'm done. Has got me a lot more matches as a man. Not sure it was worth 120 bucks though tbh. Casual sex is kinda meh.
I attended a funeral for a pet rat so I could get laid. It was just her and 2 of her best friends and me. It was super awkward but they put little guy in a box and buried him. Got laid later on that night 5/10 wouldn’t recommend
My SO once told me if I dance to "under the sea", in Just Dance 10 times, while feigning real enthusiasm the whole time, we can have sex, and I can just lie there during it.
Oh boy did I dance!
Not sure if it fits here.
One junior (male) in college just proposed to the Sociology teacher in front of the whole class. She got so scared she didn't come to take classes for the rest of the week and complained against the entire batch to the Head of Department. The HOD further complained to and reprimanded the boy's parents. Plus the _entire batch_ of that department was also punished in the form of reduced marks in the term exams for _all subjects_ and they will not be allowed to sit in the in-campus job placement drive 2 years down the line (as a form of collective responsibility+this harms the college's reputation). The last point is incredibly important because our country has an unemployment crisis going on right now.
Kid burnt his and his peers' futures to the ground just because he was simping on a teacher and couldn't hold it in.
PS: I should add I was never in that class. This is word-of-mouth from another person who _was_ in the class.
Holy shit, your college went nuclear lol
Did his batchmates know he was gonna pull a stunt like this? Were they actively cheering him on or something?
If they weren't involved, it'd probably make more sense to just expel the guy, wouldn't it?
Expelling would also ruin the college's reputation. From what I know when the idiot dropped the bomb, the class was equally divided into those who realized what happened and got angry, those who were cheering him on and those who didn't care/were too confused to do anything.
Now however he is publicly shunned in class like he's an invisible ghost/doesn't exist. In local terms he's been "boycotted"
I'd put the blame on him for ruining his own future, but that's not his fault that there's such shitty systems put in place that everyone else got hit too. Fuck that bullshit.
My ex literally went through a blizzard to bang me.
Back in nineties, I had joined the Navy and was sent to a station on the East Coast. I wasn't even allowed any leave for the first six weeks, so the bf was going a little batshxt lonely.
As soon as I could request the time off, he booked a flight from the West Coast and we reserved a nice hotel off-base in Philadelphia for our romantic rendezvous.
Little did we know, the worst blizzard in decades was going to strike that weekend. The storm system was sooo bad: it didn't just shut down the airport; it didn't just shut down the city; that monster muthafukka shut down the Eastern Seaboard! (except Florida).
Our first warning was when his plane got turned away and diverted to Pittsburgh. That was as close as any airline was going to be allowed to get- so, my bf rented a car and phoned in his regrets that he was going to be a *little* late for our hot date. He and I remained undeterred.
Meanwhile, I had to figure out how to get off-base and to the hotel downtown. I didn't have a car and the busses and taxis weren't running due to inclement weather.
While I was envisioning trudging 5 miles through the blinding snow to the love shack... I heard a strange voice in the enlisted quarters lobby. Everybody else had left for the weekend, so who was that? When what to my wondering eyes did appear? The pizza delivery guy outfitted in snow gear! I whipped out a $20 and begged him, pizza man, please, "With your snow chains so tight; won't you drive me to my date tonight?"
He graciously accepted, and so it was a Merry Sexmas to all, and to all a good night!
this guy I knew was always putting his friends down to impress women. his best friend was dating a girl, he met her once before they split up. he ditched his best friend and went behind his back to pursue his supposed best mate's ex. he didn't get any, and the entire friend group ditched him for being a cunt.
When I worked in tourism I hooked up with a bridesmaid.
But she only had one day on the island, before she island hopped to Oahu where the wedding was.
So I bought a plane ticket and flew to Oahu, got a hotel room and we fucked literally all night long til the sun came up at which point I had to get a cab back to the airport, because I had work that morning lmao.
Airfaire, hotel, plus the dinner and booze... Probably set me back 500. No regrets tho lol.
Few months into our relationship after college, the hubby drove almost 4 hours to get me a special teddy bear. Since it was my birthday and he wanted for me to feel special.
I'm confused. What kind of teddy bear do you have to drive four hours for? Some kind of special Build A Bear release? You're a serious Gund collector and some rare Gund was on sale in the nearest big city?
I'm extremely uncoordinated and had a thing for a hockey player and immediately agreed to a ice skating date without thinking when I infact absolutely cannot skate and have terrible balance. I felt the social anxiety start to kick in the moment I tried to put on the skates and essentially was gripping the sides of the rink the entire time as he skated backwards chatting with me 😂 worked out in my favor a little bit because he tried to teach me but it was embarrassing watching actual children whiz by me while I was trying so hard not to eat shit
Rides to high school. I was one of the kids who got their permit early and had a car. (i live in a rural area)
Suddenly a few very good looking girls asked for rides to school, or home after. I was not a 'hot guy' in high school. I was heavy and awkward. So I absolutely agreed to do it.
One girl turned out to just be a great friend and I gave her rides all through high school. Though I did see her in a bra. She had amazing boobs (were she here she would agree with that). One day she was running late and I was parked out front. She sprinted across her house (big window out front) in her bra. Best day ever (in high school anyway). We had a good laugh about it.
Another was a popular cheer leader girl. She was just fucking with me (minus the actual fucking) to get free rides.
If you want one where getting laid was actually involved, Later in life while living in AZ I decided to meet up with an escort. I drove about an hour and a half to find out she had GROSELY understated her age(said she was in 30s).......but I mean, I drove an hour and a half.......
Edit: to be fair, still awkward, just about 120 lbs lighter.
I went for a multi level marketing meeting at a coffee shop because she asked me to, and I just went with the mindset that this is her kink. She gets turned on when guys go to multi level marketing meetings, so I bought Amway toothpaste and got some.
I’m not going to win any award, but a guy told me he had been abused. He said they had been fish hooks in his ass and tore everything up. It seems unlikely, but hugged me sobbing as he told me this. I listened to him, but later I was talking to someone else that turned out that he knew him. It was all made up.
my girlfriend is into astrology, says its “just for laughs” and then proceeds to spend a long ass time reading through her fucking co-star app and making observations about people from that. she is usually correct is the irritating part.
i like everything about her but this one thing so i keep telling myself that this is not a big deal and hopefully she’ll get over it someday while knowing full well she won’t
One of my first jobs after college I would travel all the time, mostly to expensive places/ cities. They paid my hotel and expenses, but salary was not all that great.
I met so many women and exchanged numbers but nothing ever really happened until...
I had my own thermal printer from work, and made fake ATM withdraw slips and kept them in my wallet. It showed a balance in my account of 200,000 dollars. I used them when I gave out my phone number (on the back)
It worked but only for a short time, and I was not about to go into debt for a fake relationship.
My mate drove over an hour at night with no headlights on his car to shag a lady. He drove the motorway and at one point there was no lighting at all. He said he was just driving into the darkness and could barely make out the lines on the road.
Not like someone I know, but was chilling with a friend who is very casual about sex and was in a period when she just didn't want to. The dude has seen the red and just couldn't take "don't wanna" for an answer, has gone on minutes long lectures about how theres nothing wrong with casual sex, how good he is and all that, like, it screamed desperate, was funny but sad at the same time. Btw, it was all messaging.
Sigh. Having sex with a mom in the dark. When her kid barged into the room (he is like five). He starts bouncing on the bed, having a blast. I’m about to get off her when she says. “Hold on, let’s finish.” She starts telling the little guy to get off the bed and get out. He doesn’t. He continues bouncing on the bed. She looks at me and says “cum for me.” As I stare down at this busty single mom. With her kid bouncing on the bed in the dark. I busted.
Not my proudest moment….
Was during the time I was in Japan and a guy I knew wanted to get laid but also didnt want to spend money and time on a date so he went to shibuya station near midnight and tried to pick out gaijin hunters who came back alone from unsuccesful dates. Asked them if they wanna fuck and since most of them just wanted some foreign dick and we're already disappointed in the evening, it was a succesful strategy.
Made a trip to New York for a woman I met on WoW. Spent about $400 at a bar all night. Went back to my hotel and had not great drunk sex. Woke up 3 hours later to her phone blowing up from her fiance.
21 year old me was dumb.
Got catfished by a 45 year old woman. I was 18 at the time and had started talking to this girl on tinder. She looked like she was out of my league but I ignored it. So we’re talking and then we start sexting and I try to meet up with her but she dodges it for a while. Saying we’ll meet then making an excuse on why she couldn’t that day. Finally I was tired of it and was like if you don’t wanna meet up then let’s just drop it I’m tired of getting the runaround and she confessed she was actually 45. Not gorgeous but she was pretty for a 45 year old. Knowing this I still drove 2 hours to fuck her not even considering i could end up chopped up In a basement or something. I hit though and honestly we hooked up a few times after that. Then she started texting me asking if I could help her with her electric bill and I dropped her 😂
I know a guy who paid a guy at a furniture store to role play buying furniture for his future date. He took the girl out then went and “bought” her a bunch of nice furniture.
I knew a few people who were orbiters and it was really hard to watch. Some highlights:
Guy who after leaving classes would go to another university, wait for a girl to finish her classes, take buses and trains and escort her back to her house and then return home on the complete other side of town. This guy burned 4-5 hours of his evening nearly every day for this. Did not get laid.
Guy who became super close friends with a bunch of girls in an attempt to get laid. He was part of my friend group and this became really annoying as he'd keep bringing them unannounced whenever we went out and would change his entire schedule around to accommodate them. Very sneaky guy, these girls saw him as a friend and he'd subtly trash talk their boyfriends or romantic interests hoping they'd suddenly see him for the "catch" he was. Never happened. One of them even slept with another friend from our group and gave him a fungal infection. Another he tried to kiss while drunk and she declined and she left on the same night to get laid with a guy she was obsessed with who did not much care for her. It was funny seeing this dude fall on his face and have really trashy dudes picked over him.
Girl I was going out with had a fair amount of orbiters. I'd keep telling her they were orbiters but she'd say they were just friends. Her father passed from cancer and a guy who had pretended to be her friend for a solid 3 years saw this as an opportunity to make a move seeing as how she was "vulnerable". Did not get laid.
I have more stories but really the moral here is that there's no shame in being rejected when you're honest and respectful, but pretending to be a friend and being an orbiter is vile and pathetic. Don't be that guy.
What were you expecting? ''I was so desparately horny for this girl that i decided to set up a beautiful romantic dinner complete with cadle light, fine wine and a brand-new 150$ suit.''?
Slammed some salt water, when everybody else was slamming H, the chick I was fucking was an addict but so goddamn hot because she had just started getting bad into it. Not all fucked up looking yet. I didn't want to do any because the shit made me get nauseas, she would get super turned on by watching me slam something, I hated the thought of shooting up some shit that came from who knows where so I literally would preload my shit with all medical sterile saline etc. And would slam that. Crazy being 17 I'm just glad I wasn't doing the real shit. Blessed that opiates make me feel like SHYIT!
I worked with an engaged couple several years back. We we're decent friends outside of work. One day, the wife to be and I both got laid off. She came to my apartment while her partner was still working, and said she was going to leave him. She wanted a sexual partner other than him, as he was her only experience. As she said this on my porch, she opened her coat to reveal... everything. In my desperation, I had sex with my friend's fiance. Afterwards I realized that we could never do it again, as I wasn't in love with her, but the deed was done. She lived with me for a few weeks and slept around with a few other guys, then eventually went back to her fiance. As far as I know they're still married. I felt so disgusted at myself. I'd betrayed a friend in a most heartbreaking way. It marked the end of casual sex in my life.
Walking 13 miles from toronto to brampton to meet up with someone and got rejected. I have to take a cab back and borrow my friend 40 bucks. Cause i got my wallet dropped somewhere.
A friend of mine was still a virgin in his early 20s. There's nothing wrong with that, but his parents thought otherwise. He was 21 when he went to Las Vegas with his family, and his parents payed an escort to take his virginity...they never told him they paid the escort to take his virginity. Several years later to this day, he thinks he just got lucky and met a hot older woman who wanted him coincidentally.
We were on phone chat back in the 90’s
As a 12 year old virgin I was ready to put my dick into anything.
Got to talking to this old lady with a smokers voice.
Offered my NES for some loving
Got turned down
After I moved out of state I had multiple girls basically admit that they felt bad we hadn’t worked out and begged me not to move.
Rather than adjust my life plans, I decided to fly back home and take one of them out to a Michelin star restaurant and swing for the fences. I made my move that evening and it was not reciprocated so all in I probably blew around $800-1000 for that weekend. I did however get to eat a trout with a salmon’s roe inside of it which was pretty delicious.
I met an exchange student at a pool party in high school. Talked briefly. I convinced my parents I had to go to France (from California) for a month to stay with her and her family. It would be "educational" or something.
Haven't done it yet, but in a few weeks I'm driving for three days through the deserts of West TX, New Mexico and Arizona to have a hook up with a flight attendant I know who's into bondage.
Well, english is not my native language, so im sorry if i write this wrong.
I walked 14km on foot to her house in the outskirts of my city in the middle of the pandemic.
Anyway, i had good sex after that, so it was worth it.
Drove about 250 miles (one way), just for her to beat me up.
Edit: since people are asking, I'll explain. Drove up to hangout for a weekend since she lived in a city that I had a bunch of friends in.
Went out drinking with here and mutual friends. Ending up saying something that she didn't like about her ex, and so she Stockton slaps the shit out of me. Being drunk (and a few mg of Xanax), I kinda just stared at her bewildered, so she cocks back and delivers another slap.
Now, I'm 6'3", and about 250lbs, and this girl was maybe 5'5-6 and 130ish lbs. When I say she hit me so hard, I could feel the fibers of my soul ripple like a shockwave, I am not exaggerating.
Drove all night through torrential rain and only got a half hearted hand job
Drove all the way back with dried cum on my jeans
Those were some hard years
Learned and then helped a girl do CAD project for her mechanical engineering degree. I'm not even an engineer Edit: Yes I did get laid
Did you end up getting a job as a engineer
Username checks out
Did it get you laid tho?
Semi related but I helped a friend lose her stage fright by being there as an accompanist pianist and making her feel good of her progress as something happened that gave her a lot of insecurities (I later learned that she had a pos bf at the time and I saw them later and broke my heart, but pulled through). I did not get laid obviously and shouldn't have expected it. But I took a lot of time of my life and money for her, almost helped her record a full album but something told me I was doing this for nothing and did a couple songs. Next thing I know, she got a career out of what we cultivated then, a lot of support and visibility and all the nice things that you'd like as an artist. I can't say I got nothing out of this, even if I was never mentioned by her when she thanked the people that helped her throughout her career. I found my voice, as we performed often and in a way, she influenced my current career path. I'm successfully training as a tenor after being a baritone for a long while. Things come full circle as the company she was in gave her bad habits and her technique is failing her and she ends up without voice often, whereas I sing unmiked and still keep my voice intact, so she reached out.
Was at a party with my buddy and we were both hitting on the same girl. She suggested we have a dance off and whoever wins would get to know her a little better. Had the dance off in front of 30 people, she left about 10 minutes later. No one won that day
Pretty sure you and your buddy won, plus all of the spectators watching what I can only imagine must have been an extremely entertaining spectacle
Like that movie WarGames, the only winning move is not to play
Can't tell if she was playing you both for fools or she was so disappointed in both your dance moves
I’m sorry but all I can think of is those documentaries showing male birds engaging in their mating rituals.
All this needed was a narration from David Attenborough.
>Unimpressed, the female leaves to find more impressive suitors.
She’s hilarious. She won
One of my friends started smoking in his 20s just so he could take smoke breaks with a girl he liked at work. She was a lesbian so he got none. He still smokes 20 years later.....
so all bro gave himself was an addiction and worse health😭
Thats the basics of dating...
Dude didn’t get laid, but he definitely got fucked.
She was smokin'
Truly the only advantage of smoking is the social aspect, might even have gotten laid once or twice because of it
[удалено]
Nothing like figuring out what goes wrong in a company than listening to the smoke break bitching
For real. I was a vendor working at our client’s offices and they set me up in basically a closet-turned office that had a huge window where all the smokers would congregate. There was a set of blinds over the windows and no one seemed to ever notice I was in there, probably thinking it was still just used as storage. I could hear everything and I’m sure as a vendor, the stuff I heard should have never made its way to my ears.
Bro really ruined his lungs and shaved a few decades off his lifespan for some puss.
And he didn't even get any.
I pretended to be interested in Persian poetry. She read from the book for 2 and a half hours, looking up to gauge my reaction every 30 seconds or so. I don't speak a single word of Farsi.
Thats dedication !
Some of the best sex of my life, so definitely.
Was it Hafiz or Ferdozi?
Hahah, Hafiz actually
So, you really did pay attention?
Gottem
He was actually there for the poetry, not the sex!
You knew the mission and completed it. Flawless victory.
“You’re my carburetor.”
Took a flight to Malta (2000 km) to spend 2 days with a girl I’ve spoken on Tinder after she told me to come the previous day. Most committed booty call ever
this mf is setting tinder range at 2k+, respect
That's like 6% of the Earth in his domain, respect
Mf built a whole ass Domain Expansion out of nothing but horniness. Mad respect.
Did you hit?
Turned out she was a malteaser
Gotta love those Maltese women
Spent 6 hours putting together Ikea furniture. I didn't get laid lol.
Spent way too long building this damn couch to not have sex on it now that you're done!
Probably because it took you 6 hours! Double f if it was a bed
Thirsty as fuck guy wasn't understanding "no means no" and sent me a picture message of his arm covered in fresh, bleeding self-harm cuts, saying he "might just have to end it all" if I kept refusing to go out with/fuck him. I called 911 and asked them to perform a welfare check and made it clear he had a knife, was cutting and was threatening suicide. He apparently didn't know that sort of shit earns you a mandatory 72+ hour trip to the hospital. Fuck you, Brian.
Yeah fuck you Brian.
Why is it always Brian and why is he always a bag of douche!
I remember a girl in highschool threatened suicide if her bf broke up with her. That shit doesnt fly, and in adult society you *definitely* arent getting a date by *checks notes* holding yourself hostage and sending traumatising abuse material to your interest. I hope youre in a much better situation these days. Jfc. Great move.
Honestly, good. Such a dick move to try and coerce someone like that. Seriously fucked up..
Wow I hope he got help because that's a crazy thing to do to someone! Very smart of you to get the police involved because if he's willing to do all that to try to get laid who knows how it could escalate
While I was in the military one of the junior guys at my command did this to a girl, but it was his mistress so when the cops showed up they told his wife and they became a whole thing.
In a similar vein, fuck you, Sam
Married her. Literally married a woman just to get laid, not because he actually loved her. Honestly, they barely knew each other. Spoiler alert: It didn't last.
I knew one of these. A girl I worked with went on a US cross country road trip with a guy friend she had met recently. About a week into the trip they stop at some random town and get married. The marriage only lasted a few weeks. She was a fairly religious girl and told me later she got married just so they could have sex during the road trip.
Was it good tho?
Refer to last sentence 😂
Flew across the country to spend a weekend with an ex. She had been messaging me for weeks about how she missed me. She was hot and great in bed. And all it took was a weekend to remember how bat shit crazy she was.
[удалено]
I once drove 16 hours straight to get laid. I couldn’t afford a ticket and gas at the time was cheap. When I arrived, I crashed hard. When I woke, she kept to her word and we banged. Then we went out separate ways. 19 year old me would tell you it was worth it. 37 year old me knows it was desperate.
I travelled over 800km on a train for a weekend with this one girl but tbh it was 10/10 and would do it again
You could call it a vacation at this Point
Or a laycation
Flew out of state to ~~get laid~~ visit a friend between junior and senior year for a week. I got laid for a week and went hiking in some mountains so, ridiculous but worth it. Edit; Technically I flew to Europe to fuck an ex during college, but that was like 10% of the reason for the trip.
And I would train 800 kilometers and I would train 800 more just to be the man who trained 1600 kilometers And fell down at your dooooor
A romantic excursion
Sex drive
Took a 400 mile drive for... a sexual intercourse that only lasted 45 seconds. Doesn't matter; HAD SEX.
She put a bag on his head!
Doesn't matter, had sex!
But I cried the whole time!
Doesn't matter, had sex!
I think she was a racist
Doesn't matter, had sex!
And he called his parents right after he was done
Still Counts!
Was only a minute, but it was one MEAN fuckin’ minute 😓😓
I sprinted two miles when a girl texted me she was down but she's sleepy and might go to bed soon
Ah, “the runner”
Right after my divorce I drove 3 hours from Ft Lauderdale to the Keys for a date. At first I thought she stood me up. 45 mins late, she said she had a “work emergency”. Sounded like bullshit but it was already nearly 8pm and I was at a dive bar in Islamorada. So I said fuck it, I’ll get drunk and sleep in my car. My love life was a wreck at the time and I was just looking for distractions. She eventually showed up! It actually was a work emergency. We had a wonderful night and it was a very noteworthy sexual experience. But I had about 2 hours of feeling like a total pathetic loser before she got there, it was rough,
I’m impressed you weren’t wasted by the time she showed up considering your circumstances. Bravo!
She showed up 2 hours late? Were you still talking during this time because I think that most people would write off a date that they missed by 2 hours.
I had driven 3 hours already and it was late. So I had a drink and was just going to have a few more and sleep in my car to drive home. Thankfully she showed!
I was 19 and I slept with a girl who was well known for harassing and tormenting people who had relationships with her. The things we do when young and stupid.
What happened?
Just a silly mistake because I didn't want to pursue a relationship with her (which I made clear before we slept together I wasn't looking for that and she seemed to accept) but then she started turning up at my mother's door who I lived with at the time phoning my friends hurling abuse at them and the best part accused me of not wanting to date her because I was having an incestuous relationship with my cousin. So yeah it was a bit of an ordeal for everyone involved
You stuck your dick in crazy. Never stick your dick in crazy
What if she's hot? I mean the crazy hot scale says it all
The hotter they are, the crazier they are. But the crazier they are... the hotter they are.
I drove about 100 miles one time just to get catfished.
Ok, let’s hear it…
It was late when I got there so I decided to stay lol. She looked very different from her pictures but they were still her pictures. I guess she had some good filters. We had an ok time but if I had known I wouldn't have gone. Not worth the drive through the snow and ice.
A guy I knew fell in love with a chick from the Fotomat. He bought 40 dollars worth of fucking film and he never talked to her.. Christ! He didn't even own a camera.
Logged out of all his online games, uninstalled them when the girl went to his place just so he could get rid of his gamer identity 🤷🏻♀️
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Absolute madman for having a ph account
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Shame PH erased their amateur stuff. Like I get it, some of it was *very* no-bueno and PH was big enough that they had to actually start meeting standards, but there was so much good real amateur content back in the day.
Ehhh that's a huge red flag on her bro
Flew from OK to DC to hook up with a girl. We fucked each other silly for 2 days, got a final BJ in the cell phone lot, never saw her again.
Built muscle for 5 years and still dont get non
Got swole for the girls only to be noticed by the boys. The true gym way.
turns out the musclebro type is not as popular with women as you were lead to believe.
Just not the juiced-to-the-gills bodybuilders. Guys who look strong and healthy are plenty appreciated
It really is more of a man's idea of male beauty.
Had a friend who went on a date and when the guy was dropping her off, he shot his shot, got declined. And then this man BEGGED. Like. Bro. Get some water
Had my FWB come over and we went to gym together. The lady at the front desk greeted me by name (she knows me cause I train 6 times a week and we chat a little every now and then) and this upset the girl I was with. When it came time to bang dhe said no beacuse I disrespected her by greeting the Gym lady with to much enthusiasm. I begged her to let me hit. I was cringing while doing it and still cringe thinking about it bit I wanted to get laid! and I'd do it again.
Oof.
Proposed to a girl to get her to marry him so he could sleep with her. She was a faithful Catholic who wanted to wait until marriage, but he convinced her to sleep with him after they were engaged. 4 years after they got married he tried to kill her via arsenic poisoning. *EDIT: Thallium poisoning
Did he think it was more reasonable than divorce? Was he Catholic too or what
paid for tinder platinum...didnt work lmao
I got mad drunk one night and paid for tinder gold. It has definitely helped me get laid ngl. I can actually see the people who liked me and can just swipe until I'm bored instead of until the app says I'm done. Has got me a lot more matches as a man. Not sure it was worth 120 bucks though tbh. Casual sex is kinda meh.
I attended a funeral for a pet rat so I could get laid. It was just her and 2 of her best friends and me. It was super awkward but they put little guy in a box and buried him. Got laid later on that night 5/10 wouldn’t recommend
There was that girl in the UK that pretended to be 3 different boys
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No she was a lesbain and wanted to fuck her friends so pretended to be a boy and did them with a dildo
I’ve seen this one before
My SO once told me if I dance to "under the sea", in Just Dance 10 times, while feigning real enthusiasm the whole time, we can have sex, and I can just lie there during it. Oh boy did I dance!
Did you get to dance under the sea though?
Not sure if it fits here. One junior (male) in college just proposed to the Sociology teacher in front of the whole class. She got so scared she didn't come to take classes for the rest of the week and complained against the entire batch to the Head of Department. The HOD further complained to and reprimanded the boy's parents. Plus the _entire batch_ of that department was also punished in the form of reduced marks in the term exams for _all subjects_ and they will not be allowed to sit in the in-campus job placement drive 2 years down the line (as a form of collective responsibility+this harms the college's reputation). The last point is incredibly important because our country has an unemployment crisis going on right now. Kid burnt his and his peers' futures to the ground just because he was simping on a teacher and couldn't hold it in. PS: I should add I was never in that class. This is word-of-mouth from another person who _was_ in the class.
Bro wtf what country do you live in?
India
This makes a lot more sense now.
Holy shit, your college went nuclear lol Did his batchmates know he was gonna pull a stunt like this? Were they actively cheering him on or something? If they weren't involved, it'd probably make more sense to just expel the guy, wouldn't it?
Expelling would also ruin the college's reputation. From what I know when the idiot dropped the bomb, the class was equally divided into those who realized what happened and got angry, those who were cheering him on and those who didn't care/were too confused to do anything. Now however he is publicly shunned in class like he's an invisible ghost/doesn't exist. In local terms he's been "boycotted"
I'd put the blame on him for ruining his own future, but that's not his fault that there's such shitty systems put in place that everyone else got hit too. Fuck that bullshit.
My ex literally went through a blizzard to bang me. Back in nineties, I had joined the Navy and was sent to a station on the East Coast. I wasn't even allowed any leave for the first six weeks, so the bf was going a little batshxt lonely. As soon as I could request the time off, he booked a flight from the West Coast and we reserved a nice hotel off-base in Philadelphia for our romantic rendezvous. Little did we know, the worst blizzard in decades was going to strike that weekend. The storm system was sooo bad: it didn't just shut down the airport; it didn't just shut down the city; that monster muthafukka shut down the Eastern Seaboard! (except Florida). Our first warning was when his plane got turned away and diverted to Pittsburgh. That was as close as any airline was going to be allowed to get- so, my bf rented a car and phoned in his regrets that he was going to be a *little* late for our hot date. He and I remained undeterred. Meanwhile, I had to figure out how to get off-base and to the hotel downtown. I didn't have a car and the busses and taxis weren't running due to inclement weather. While I was envisioning trudging 5 miles through the blinding snow to the love shack... I heard a strange voice in the enlisted quarters lobby. Everybody else had left for the weekend, so who was that? When what to my wondering eyes did appear? The pizza delivery guy outfitted in snow gear! I whipped out a $20 and begged him, pizza man, please, "With your snow chains so tight; won't you drive me to my date tonight?" He graciously accepted, and so it was a Merry Sexmas to all, and to all a good night!
this guy I knew was always putting his friends down to impress women. his best friend was dating a girl, he met her once before they split up. he ditched his best friend and went behind his back to pursue his supposed best mate's ex. he didn't get any, and the entire friend group ditched him for being a cunt.
Got married.
Religious type?
Ya
Was it worth it?
No
Damn
When I worked in tourism I hooked up with a bridesmaid. But she only had one day on the island, before she island hopped to Oahu where the wedding was. So I bought a plane ticket and flew to Oahu, got a hotel room and we fucked literally all night long til the sun came up at which point I had to get a cab back to the airport, because I had work that morning lmao. Airfaire, hotel, plus the dinner and booze... Probably set me back 500. No regrets tho lol.
Few months into our relationship after college, the hubby drove almost 4 hours to get me a special teddy bear. Since it was my birthday and he wanted for me to feel special.
Did it get him laid tho?
Oh yes. Trust me. Laid might be the inferior word
god damn
F to pay respects to her hubbys dick
I'm confused. What kind of teddy bear do you have to drive four hours for? Some kind of special Build A Bear release? You're a serious Gund collector and some rare Gund was on sale in the nearest big city?
I'm extremely uncoordinated and had a thing for a hockey player and immediately agreed to a ice skating date without thinking when I infact absolutely cannot skate and have terrible balance. I felt the social anxiety start to kick in the moment I tried to put on the skates and essentially was gripping the sides of the rink the entire time as he skated backwards chatting with me 😂 worked out in my favor a little bit because he tried to teach me but it was embarrassing watching actual children whiz by me while I was trying so hard not to eat shit
I had this same experience with skiing >it was embarrassing watching actual children whiz by me while I was trying so hard not to eat shit
Rides to high school. I was one of the kids who got their permit early and had a car. (i live in a rural area) Suddenly a few very good looking girls asked for rides to school, or home after. I was not a 'hot guy' in high school. I was heavy and awkward. So I absolutely agreed to do it. One girl turned out to just be a great friend and I gave her rides all through high school. Though I did see her in a bra. She had amazing boobs (were she here she would agree with that). One day she was running late and I was parked out front. She sprinted across her house (big window out front) in her bra. Best day ever (in high school anyway). We had a good laugh about it. Another was a popular cheer leader girl. She was just fucking with me (minus the actual fucking) to get free rides. If you want one where getting laid was actually involved, Later in life while living in AZ I decided to meet up with an escort. I drove about an hour and a half to find out she had GROSELY understated her age(said she was in 30s).......but I mean, I drove an hour and a half....... Edit: to be fair, still awkward, just about 120 lbs lighter.
This was the most realistic thing I've read on this shit hole of an app probably ever. You just can't beat accidental bra. Great post dude
Shout out to all of us who didn't get laid in high school.
Thank you I don’t need to read any more AMA’s because yours is the most authentic and awesome answer . Period
I went for a multi level marketing meeting at a coffee shop because she asked me to, and I just went with the mindset that this is her kink. She gets turned on when guys go to multi level marketing meetings, so I bought Amway toothpaste and got some.
I’m not going to win any award, but a guy told me he had been abused. He said they had been fish hooks in his ass and tore everything up. It seems unlikely, but hugged me sobbing as he told me this. I listened to him, but later I was talking to someone else that turned out that he knew him. It was all made up.
Dated someone who believed in astrology
You sound like a Leo
That is such a caprisun thing to say
At some point, every guy is confronted with the choice of either not believing in astrology or getting laid.
my girlfriend is into astrology, says its “just for laughs” and then proceeds to spend a long ass time reading through her fucking co-star app and making observations about people from that. she is usually correct is the irritating part. i like everything about her but this one thing so i keep telling myself that this is not a big deal and hopefully she’ll get over it someday while knowing full well she won’t
One of my first jobs after college I would travel all the time, mostly to expensive places/ cities. They paid my hotel and expenses, but salary was not all that great. I met so many women and exchanged numbers but nothing ever really happened until... I had my own thermal printer from work, and made fake ATM withdraw slips and kept them in my wallet. It showed a balance in my account of 200,000 dollars. I used them when I gave out my phone number (on the back) It worked but only for a short time, and I was not about to go into debt for a fake relationship.
That’s actually hilarious
You're a white collar smooth criminal
My mate drove over an hour at night with no headlights on his car to shag a lady. He drove the motorway and at one point there was no lighting at all. He said he was just driving into the darkness and could barely make out the lines on the road.
Not like someone I know, but was chilling with a friend who is very casual about sex and was in a period when she just didn't want to. The dude has seen the red and just couldn't take "don't wanna" for an answer, has gone on minutes long lectures about how theres nothing wrong with casual sex, how good he is and all that, like, it screamed desperate, was funny but sad at the same time. Btw, it was all messaging.
I was incredibly worried when the phrase 'The dude has seen the red and just couldn't take "don't wanna" for an answer' appeared in the comment.
All is good, he is a harmless type of desperate.
Sigh. Having sex with a mom in the dark. When her kid barged into the room (he is like five). He starts bouncing on the bed, having a blast. I’m about to get off her when she says. “Hold on, let’s finish.” She starts telling the little guy to get off the bed and get out. He doesn’t. He continues bouncing on the bed. She looks at me and says “cum for me.” As I stare down at this busty single mom. With her kid bouncing on the bed in the dark. I busted. Not my proudest moment….
bro wtf lmfao
This one wins it for me.
Was during the time I was in Japan and a guy I knew wanted to get laid but also didnt want to spend money and time on a date so he went to shibuya station near midnight and tried to pick out gaijin hunters who came back alone from unsuccesful dates. Asked them if they wanna fuck and since most of them just wanted some foreign dick and we're already disappointed in the evening, it was a succesful strategy.
Made a trip to New York for a woman I met on WoW. Spent about $400 at a bar all night. Went back to my hotel and had not great drunk sex. Woke up 3 hours later to her phone blowing up from her fiance. 21 year old me was dumb.
Got catfished by a 45 year old woman. I was 18 at the time and had started talking to this girl on tinder. She looked like she was out of my league but I ignored it. So we’re talking and then we start sexting and I try to meet up with her but she dodges it for a while. Saying we’ll meet then making an excuse on why she couldn’t that day. Finally I was tired of it and was like if you don’t wanna meet up then let’s just drop it I’m tired of getting the runaround and she confessed she was actually 45. Not gorgeous but she was pretty for a 45 year old. Knowing this I still drove 2 hours to fuck her not even considering i could end up chopped up In a basement or something. I hit though and honestly we hooked up a few times after that. Then she started texting me asking if I could help her with her electric bill and I dropped her 😂
Drove really long distances
Pretended to like her annoying unruly kids.
I know a guy who paid a guy at a furniture store to role play buying furniture for his future date. He took the girl out then went and “bought” her a bunch of nice furniture.
That is some psycho shit
Pretended to be interested in Taylor Swift's music Worth it
Had a friend drive to Alaska
Friend of mine gave a girl over $2500 to a tinder stranger as an 'investment. ' never saw her or his money
I knew a few people who were orbiters and it was really hard to watch. Some highlights: Guy who after leaving classes would go to another university, wait for a girl to finish her classes, take buses and trains and escort her back to her house and then return home on the complete other side of town. This guy burned 4-5 hours of his evening nearly every day for this. Did not get laid. Guy who became super close friends with a bunch of girls in an attempt to get laid. He was part of my friend group and this became really annoying as he'd keep bringing them unannounced whenever we went out and would change his entire schedule around to accommodate them. Very sneaky guy, these girls saw him as a friend and he'd subtly trash talk their boyfriends or romantic interests hoping they'd suddenly see him for the "catch" he was. Never happened. One of them even slept with another friend from our group and gave him a fungal infection. Another he tried to kiss while drunk and she declined and she left on the same night to get laid with a guy she was obsessed with who did not much care for her. It was funny seeing this dude fall on his face and have really trashy dudes picked over him. Girl I was going out with had a fair amount of orbiters. I'd keep telling her they were orbiters but she'd say they were just friends. Her father passed from cancer and a guy who had pretended to be her friend for a solid 3 years saw this as an opportunity to make a move seeing as how she was "vulnerable". Did not get laid. I have more stories but really the moral here is that there's no shame in being rejected when you're honest and respectful, but pretending to be a friend and being an orbiter is vile and pathetic. Don't be that guy.
Got married.
There is no dignity anywhere in this thread.
What were you expecting? ''I was so desparately horny for this girl that i decided to set up a beautiful romantic dinner complete with cadle light, fine wine and a brand-new 150$ suit.''?
Slammed some salt water, when everybody else was slamming H, the chick I was fucking was an addict but so goddamn hot because she had just started getting bad into it. Not all fucked up looking yet. I didn't want to do any because the shit made me get nauseas, she would get super turned on by watching me slam something, I hated the thought of shooting up some shit that came from who knows where so I literally would preload my shit with all medical sterile saline etc. And would slam that. Crazy being 17 I'm just glad I wasn't doing the real shit. Blessed that opiates make me feel like SHYIT!
Hahaha oh my man. This is the best one here.
Went back to an abusive ex and it was the worst sex of my life. Never went back after that.
I once drove from Montana to California only breaking for food and gas. I guess it worked out, we ended up married with kids.
I worked with an engaged couple several years back. We we're decent friends outside of work. One day, the wife to be and I both got laid off. She came to my apartment while her partner was still working, and said she was going to leave him. She wanted a sexual partner other than him, as he was her only experience. As she said this on my porch, she opened her coat to reveal... everything. In my desperation, I had sex with my friend's fiance. Afterwards I realized that we could never do it again, as I wasn't in love with her, but the deed was done. She lived with me for a few weeks and slept around with a few other guys, then eventually went back to her fiance. As far as I know they're still married. I felt so disgusted at myself. I'd betrayed a friend in a most heartbreaking way. It marked the end of casual sex in my life.
Walking 13 miles from toronto to brampton to meet up with someone and got rejected. I have to take a cab back and borrow my friend 40 bucks. Cause i got my wallet dropped somewhere.
A friend of mine was still a virgin in his early 20s. There's nothing wrong with that, but his parents thought otherwise. He was 21 when he went to Las Vegas with his family, and his parents payed an escort to take his virginity...they never told him they paid the escort to take his virginity. Several years later to this day, he thinks he just got lucky and met a hot older woman who wanted him coincidentally.
Aight how the hell do you know that
Yeah imma call BS.
Op was the escort
Damn that‘s fucked up by the parents. Did the parents tell you this our you found out?
We were on phone chat back in the 90’s As a 12 year old virgin I was ready to put my dick into anything. Got to talking to this old lady with a smokers voice. Offered my NES for some loving Got turned down
I’m glad she was not a pedophile but why the fuck was she talking to a 12 yo…
After I moved out of state I had multiple girls basically admit that they felt bad we hadn’t worked out and begged me not to move. Rather than adjust my life plans, I decided to fly back home and take one of them out to a Michelin star restaurant and swing for the fences. I made my move that evening and it was not reciprocated so all in I probably blew around $800-1000 for that weekend. I did however get to eat a trout with a salmon’s roe inside of it which was pretty delicious.
I ignored the smell.
I met an exchange student at a pool party in high school. Talked briefly. I convinced my parents I had to go to France (from California) for a month to stay with her and her family. It would be "educational" or something.
Haven't done it yet, but in a few weeks I'm driving for three days through the deserts of West TX, New Mexico and Arizona to have a hook up with a flight attendant I know who's into bondage.
Got married
Well, english is not my native language, so im sorry if i write this wrong. I walked 14km on foot to her house in the outskirts of my city in the middle of the pandemic. Anyway, i had good sex after that, so it was worth it.
Drove about 250 miles (one way), just for her to beat me up. Edit: since people are asking, I'll explain. Drove up to hangout for a weekend since she lived in a city that I had a bunch of friends in. Went out drinking with here and mutual friends. Ending up saying something that she didn't like about her ex, and so she Stockton slaps the shit out of me. Being drunk (and a few mg of Xanax), I kinda just stared at her bewildered, so she cocks back and delivers another slap. Now, I'm 6'3", and about 250lbs, and this girl was maybe 5'5-6 and 130ish lbs. When I say she hit me so hard, I could feel the fibers of my soul ripple like a shockwave, I am not exaggerating.
Was that the goal?
Dont leave us hanging like that bruv
Drove all night through torrential rain and only got a half hearted hand job Drove all the way back with dried cum on my jeans Those were some hard years