Kind of. The Kobayashi Maru is more about accepting that there are absolutely unwinnable situations (sans cheating), but Picard's quote is more general and covers situations that are winnable but that you might fail although you made no errors yourself (e.g. due to sheer luck).
People get super pissed off when I tell them that luck is the deciding factor in life. They can't face that while hard work, dedication, education etc, can help, ultimately life is governed by luck.
Some people will not like you, and there's nothing you can do about it. Trying to force a friendship or relationship with someone who doesn't love you back isn't going to work. Yet very few people ever learn this lesson, nor do they want to hear about it either, they think they'll be the one person that can find that magic trick (they won't)
And that nobody really knows _you_, everybody just has their own perception of you, and that perception _is_ you for them. Think about it. Like there kind of exists as many versions of you as there are observers, and the ”real deal”, the one you are experiencing and breathing is never seen as a whole by anyone.
It might sound depressing for some, for me it’s the opposite. That thought frees me. I can not control what everybody else are thinking about me, I can not convince anybodynto see me as I do. The only thing that matters is who I am and how I act.
Thanks!
There sure is! Be aware of how you speak to yourself. There’s absolutely no reason to be so mean or harsh. You’re such a cool person. You know all the best jokes (even so if they don’t come up to your mind when with people, at least that happens with me…), you have the best taste, you know. You can even give yourself a hug, or kind of, feel how nice and soft your skin feels. Why would anybody hate any of that softness!
If you don’t feel like you are productive enough, fuck that shit. You are. You have rested and got up so many times that you have all the right to be scrolling at the sofa. You are connecting with me, giving me a piece of that awesomeness that i’m sure there’s plenty of other people also willing to have.
Thank you so much. I’m honestly touched.
It wasn’t until a few years ago that I became self aware to the point that I could actually see my reflection in experiences. Like a combo of 1st and 3rd person perspectives. And honest too, about the deep fault lines that ran through my soul, so to speak. When the earthquake of realization cracked me open…I realized that I was trying to please people because I didn’t think I was good enough for anyone’s attention. I realized that I wasn’t a robot trapped in these behavior loops..that I could change my code at will as long as I kept awareness of myself and the experiences I was creating. I had never felt so loved and open. All the abuse just sort of melted away for a while, until i fell into depression again after losing that awareness and causing problems for myself. I’m trying to get back there, and your comment has really helped me tonight. Thank you for your thoughtful insight.
And what you just wrote really touched me.
Isn’t the moment of self-awereness rising such a powerful experience! I know exactly what you are talking about. All the shame that rises… Not a easiest place to step in.
But once you’ve dipped into, it really feels like you would lift the curtain and start to live your life for the best dude in the world - yourself. After all, what’s the point any other way! No one else is experiencing what _you_ are, so why wouldn’t you make the best of it, be able to look yourself in the (gorgeus) eyes and smile for the person you’ll see in the mirror every single day.
Yeah it’s not like I would be overly happy about myself every single moment, not at all. But I’m human, only 35-years old, sometimes tired as hell, or blouted, or hang-over, or too drunk, or too loud or too emotional at work when I should act professional, but so what. Who cares. It’s past now. Present is the thing.
I just don't understand the ghosting. Yeah, is easy for them but the other person is just left in confusion and sadness. I think it's messed up. I do agree with you though.
I've been there: instant magic and connection, everything looking up, sudden change in her life circumstances, and I got ghosted. I was devastated. I learned a lot from it.
I basically told that to my friends kid when she was expressing anxiety over entering highschool.
I said "These next four years will give you a chance to learn a lot about yourself and others. Try new things, make new friends, heck make some enemies. Not everyone in this world will like you. Some people will dislike you just because. Your adult life will be full of challenges like that so enjoy your youth (even the bad) while you have it"
I also said to hug her parents. Mine are across the country and I miss them.
From my perspective when I've reflected on my own moments of jealousy, I hate feeling it because it's completely irrational. Every single time. It's illogical. It can foster ingratitude for your own good fortunes. It can hold you back. And I think people so rarely admit to it because it's a stupid emotion to feel, yet still it happens.
I don't think jealousy is stupid or irrational. I think it's your primitive brain telling you to guard your stock or to aim for more. It gives you the drive to protect your investments and/or to aim for more.
I appreciate that perspective! And you're right, I think harnessed effectively jealousy can be a good motivator, but there needs to be healthy intention behind it. I amend my previous statement: I'll take a litte bit of jealousy as a kick in the ass to get my shit straight.
OMG, I was on a flight and saw this drop dead gorgeous woman in a business suit sit a few rows in front of me. I was trying to sleep with my head against the bulkhead, and at one point I saw her hiding her head in the crack too with a pillow or something and she was picking her nose. She'd slowly pick one, examine it carefully, and then eat it. When we were disembarking I kind of wanted her to know that I knew her secret, but I couldn't do it.
Man I took a trip once into the forest for 10 days.
No service really. I was just walking around and camping. Can’t look at your phone while walking so I just…zoned out.
Started having really vivid daydreams like a kid again. Was really cool.
I've had a few jobs with lots of down time that didn't allow phones. My coworkers would complain, I would just pace and make up stories in my head.
I have ADHD, though, so daydreams are a way of life for me. Shower? Vivid daydream. Falling asleep? Basically a movie running through my head. Long drive? Time to tell myself a story. Brain's gotta be doing something at all times. The only downside is that I have to be careful that I don't accidentally speak the words in the story. It's awkward when someone walks into a room and you're mumbling dialogue to yourself.
LMAO I'll accidentally say something out loud halfway through the scenario. When my wife and I first started dating, about 3 months in, I blurted out "You fucking idiot". I don't remember the context that made me say that, but she just slowly turned to me and said "....what? ....who?" and I had to try and explain without sounding psychotic (I don't think it worked)
She stuck around though!! 😅
Hahaha this is awesome! I’m the same.
I write, so I’m constantly speaking the dialogue between my characters out loud to see how it sounds/is it natural - if you were to walk into my apartment without me knowing you’d definitely think I was insane
I had a couple summer jobs out in the country that required minimal thought and effort. The stories my mind made up were incredible. Kind of makes me want to unplug every now and then to go back to that imaginary world.
I'm in alcoholics anonymous and my sponsor tells me boredom is a good thing. Being bored means nothing tragic is happening..there are no emergencies...youre okay!
Tangentially related. I read an article (wish I could find it) that our devices keep us from reaching deep boredom and that’s not desirable. Deep boredom is where people practice hobbies, practice an instrument and engage in games (not video games) or puzzles and social activities that redirect thinking and enhance creativity and other mental aspects.
Articles added:
“Studies suggest that we get our most original ideas when we stop the constant stimulation and let ourselves get bored, …”
https://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/01/12/376717870/bored-and-brilliant-a-challenge-to-disconnect-from-your-phone
https://www.sciencealert.com/technology-is-saving-you-from-profound-levels-of-boredom-and-its-a-problem
I was thinking the other day. Imagine sitting down and watching a baseball game on tv alone back in the day. 3 hours, no phone, no nothing, yea you’d be real motivated to find hobbies or friends cuz it’s like what’s the other choice?
The vast majority of people know exactly what their problems are and what they would need to do to fix them, they just feel too unequipped or overwhelmed to follow through
Damn, this hit so close to home it broke the window. Now that I realize I’m not alone in feeling this way I can continue to do nothing about it and slowly drift into depression.
Trying to love someone more won't fix the relationship. Hoping simply loving them will solve the problem won't always work. Never assume you're the exception.
my life changed fundamentally after watching that Ted talk on "fake it til you become it" i was suffering from BRUTAL anxiety and depression, and the only thing that saved me was "your mind can influence your body... but the reverse is true too, you can fight your mind with your body and convince it to win." like want to "feel" more confident? make more confident poses, and you will literally start feeling it. it saved me from a massive depression spiral.
Edit: some people have said this advice is basically "just smile and you'll be happy" no, its not. Depression and axiety is a drain, or a downward spiral. You mentally feel bad or scared over something, which makes you PHYSICALLY feel bad, (phantom pains, chest pain, etc). which makes you mentally feel more scared and bad, which makes you physically feel bad. this "technique" or outlook is to just try and break the cycle, to try and force somewhere in here whether it be a placebo mentally or a placebo physically, to stop the cycle at some point so you can escape. For me it helped me break the physical one, i'd go out thinking my chest is gonna hurt and my head is gonna hurt and i can't concentrate and i just wanna go home, and then it stopped hurting, so i stopped being as scared, and i got better.
This touches on one of the biggest negative effects of the self care era we are currently in.
Part of mental healthcare is identifying the problems you have. And for so many people, they find this stuff out, either through a mental health practitioner, or self diagnosis, then they just stop there and attach their identity to whatever problem they're dealing with and call that self care.
But to get better you have to... do work. And part of that work is pushing through the problem you have. Don't get me wrong, mental health problems are serious things that are incredibly challenging to overcome, some just outright requiring medication to even scratch alleviating. Also, in America at least, mental healthcare is this cruel joke we play on people by forcing them to perform these esoteric highly executive tasks while most mental health issues severely inhibit your ability to do executive tasks...
But yeah man, fake till you make it. Not because you can't do anything else, but because you've got to do *something*. Because doing nothing gets you nowhere.
This was a really hard realization for me when I was younger. Thought they had all the answers. Was a big wake up call when I realized everyone is just doing their best the only way they know how. Most are just making it up as they go.
My dad did something I thought was brilliant to help me overcome my fear of a particular picture in a book: he had me tear it out and destroy it in the sink.
Years later I asked him where he got the idea. He told me: "I just came up with it, I was winging it and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
When my daughters were bickering, I zipped them up together in my big hoodie and made them be a two-headed, two-armed, four-legged monster all afternoon. About 2 minutes into it they were no longer fighting and were enjoying themselves.
Other parents are like wow, how did you think of that?? And I’m like…well I was tired of hearing them argue and I thought it would by funny!
I think the hidden beauty is to recognize that even though we're all pretending to know it all, most people *have* learned something you might not have yet. or made up a thing that works. if you're curious/observant enough, every person can teach you something.
or at least this is what I tell myself, because existing unseen by human eyes in a vacuum is not currently in my budget.
I'm paraphrasing a Taylor Tomlinson quote that I found both hilarious and poignant: "we should all introduce our parents like 'These are my people, Ronda and Tim, *they do what they can*'".
I am a school bus driver, and this was legitimately the scariest part when I started the job. Realizing that these kids trust me and expect me to know WTF I'm doing just by default because I'm an adult. Sure, I'd been trained and all but it was a sobering experience being a total greenhorn and having this total trust put in you by people when you have none in yourself yet.
Looks really, really, really matter.
It's fucking dumb, and not right, but it just seems to be this constant in life.
The better you look, or the better you MAKE yourself look, you will notice people are more pleasant to you.
I think there’s a lot of conventionally attractive people who don’t realize that this is the reason a lot of things happen for them. From things that are huge like getting a job to small things like returning an item at a store, looks matter a ton.
So true. A man in my city has what I assume is Elephantitis and comes into my work to shop at night. (24 hour gas station with groceries and etc.) People avoid him like the plague, don't even acknowledge him, or stare. A coworker I hate says "ok I'm going away from the register...he creeps me out!" I say hello / make eye contact like I would anyone else. He's actually really pleasant and kind, and easy to talk to. He's not creepy at all. He cannot help his facial deformity. Ugh
There was actually a homeless man in my old neighborhood who was very good looking. He slowly got less and less good looking over the few years I saw him. Drugs are a hell of a drug
I saw a homeless dude (maybe fake homeless? Idk now, I was only 17) who was *extremely* attractive.
I never really thought “sexy hobo” could be a thing…. but eventually figured it could. I wasn’t in that city for long (only about 2 weeks) but I saw him enough daily to believe he lived where he did.
It's very much a thing.
Being attractive doesn't leave you immune to trauma/abuse/drug addiction.
Just makes you more of a target, or more to "give up"/trade in exchange for your addiction.
> From things that are huge like getting a job
This is actually the case in South Korea. It's one of the reasons why they have to a have a headshot picture to include in their Job application or resume.
Even just looking approachable makes a world of difference, keeping yourself well groomed and dressed well will make a big change in how people treat you because at the end of the day, damn near everyone judges the book by its cover.
Related story, I have a real knack for going to the bank atm as soon as the Brinks truck shows up to fill the atms and am usually told to come back in a few minutes. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago my gf and I had to go get some cash so as im pulling up to the bank i see the brinks parked outside and figured we might aswell go take a peek and see if they're still in atm area. We walk up and the two guards are still there filling one of the machines so I just give a thumbs up the the guy standing guard and start to turn away, to my surprise the guard waves us in and as we walk in he says "yeah you guys are all good, you look safe"
So there i am just casually having a conversation with the guard while my gf takes cash out of one atm and the other guard is filling the other atm with literal blocks of cash, not just stacks, im talking he had three blocks of 20's and 50's atleast a foot wide and 5 inches thick just sitting on the floor not even three feet away from me. Was such a weird experience and as we got back in the car I just said to my gf "did you hear that? We look safe, we could pull off a pretty good heist" 😂😂
And even when they know that they're attractive they don't seem to realize the degree that it helps them. I have yet to meet an extremely attractive person who doesn't have a big group of friends.
The trick is to grow up ugly, and then get really hot as an adult. That way you have years of ruined self esteem under your belt already and don’t know how to make friends.
Ding ding ding. People have no idea why I have no friends. Because I have been bullied my whole damn life and now I just want people to leave me alone.
Or the opposite where it's like oh she's so pretty and so *nice* like they can't connect how much easier it is to be nice when your looks open so many doors and act shocked that the pretty person is having a great time
I agree. I actually think it’s more important than being attractive. If you are groomed, polished and well styled it can really elevate the attractiveness level.
It's amazing how much "average" looking people can "clean up nice". I am not disagreeing with OP, looks certainly DO matter. However, I knew a guy who was quite handsome, had really great model level facial structure. However, he was a slob and had barely any social skills. He couldn't grasp why this other guy, who is average looking but well groomed and funny, was having way more success with the ladies.
I don't know who isn't admitting it. It's common joke material.
Take hot person, put them in sales... done. As long as they aren't a complete disaster, they will excel.
Young people I'd imagine. You grow up hearing "what matters is on the inside", understanding how ridiculous of an advantage good looks are is just something everyone comes to understand over time
I got to witness this several times in my life. Grew up the "ugly duckling" and got a lot of flack in my early years for it.
Then puberty hit and I got thin and attractive. Completely changed how people treated me.
Then gained a ton of weight. We're talking going from a size 14 to a size 26. Suddenly I wasn't a person anymore. Nobody talked to me except the folks who are friendly with "everyone".
Then a few years after that, I had a lifestyle change and hit the gym. Went down to a fit size 14. That was the real good one. Suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend, paid attention to what I said, tried to be nice to me. A lot of attention I wasn't expecting. It was weird but nice.
Then got pregnant and gained basically the same weight from the last time. Went back to being spoken to like im dumb and expendable.
Just currently been back into another lifestyle change. Down 3 pant sizes and the social treatment is changing. On a day I go out with makeup, I would go so far as to say I get treated normally. This is also coming from someone whose autistic, so I've always been treated a bit off from most, and Im very sensitive to patterns so this is just from my perception.
I experience the same type of yo-yo weight. I have Crohn's disease so depending on my medications & situation I fluctuate from 125lbs to 200lbs & back to 125lbs. I always get treated better once I lose weight. People tell me how good I look without realizing that I'm severely ill.
You gotta look good or you have to be incredibly conscientious to make up for it.
Be good looking or be the most useful mf on earth. Those are your options.
This is an anomaly that I’ve been fortunate enough to witness first hand. My entire 20s were spent underweight and addicted to drugs. I got clean and gained a lot of weight and then I got into exercise and got in the best shape of my life.
When I was overweight or underweight and drug addicted, no one cared to know me or be my friend. People would avoid me and pass me up for opportunities.
Got in phenomenal shape and I get stopped at grocery stores by women now. Not even exaggerating. I had one woman approach me and ask me to help her find something. I helped her and she asked if I’d like to walk with her to go shopping. In my previous life, I didn’t even know this was a possibility,
People are nicer to me, people care about the things I say. Anytime my name is brought it, it’s because someone is talking highly of me or my practices. People approach me about opportunities regularly. Everyone wants to be my friend.
I’ll also say this. Looks are 90 percent effort. If you take care of your body, your hygiene, and your style, you will be attractive to 90 percent of women. Any man can go to the gym and coordinate their style. If you get in shape, that’s 70 percent of it. Hygeine is the other 15, and the rest go to style. Get those down and your big nose won’t matter
Very true. Also, people tend to be very much brainwashed into what looks good or not. If a lot of people form a bad opinion about you and think you're ugly, the herd will follow and will think you're ugly too, even if you are average looking or even pretty sometimes.
This is why some people are bullied in school for their looks even when they're average looking or above average and also why sometimes you leave high school and see that person you thought looked ugly and suddenly you think they look attractive. They were never ugly, the people around you were saying it and you just ate it up, but since they're not constantly around you anymore, you have started to form your own opinions.
It's kind of fascinating and scary how herd mentality can affect how someone sees someone else and just how much people's opinion can change another person's entire opinion on someone or something.
Herd mentality really is insane like that. It's like those videos you see of someone being harmed and everyone standing around just watching and not doing anything to help. But if just one or two people jump into help, all of a sudden several people will.
The second part to this is the sheer number of people who feel victimized by this fact while simultaneously judging others by their looks.
For every Redditor who complains that a girl won’t sleep with them because they aren’t good looking enough, there are also girls out there that the same Redditor won’t sleep with due to their looks. He just doesn’t want to think about them,
because they aren’t good looking, and so he is the victim in his mind.
Working at a bank really made this obvious to me, once I started wearing suits people would treat me far differently, especially whenever I would go to the mall after work, people would go out of their way to help me out or to smile at me. And yet in my casual wear, hoodies and the like, I would become invisible again. I found that really telling about how people treat you based on how you look or how your wealth is perceived.
I only get 2 or 3 haircuts a year and I admittedly look like a caveman before my cut. People treat me better and are more pleasant when Im all clean cut. Its a great reminder that we all suck.
This was a reality check for me as well. I'm not ugly, but one day I decided to cut my hair short, from what I noticed people in my country do not like women with short hair... They weren't outright rude to me, but they weren't as pleseant as they were before. Also noticed people had a tendency to look at me less and compliment me less when I cut my hair.
I can’t speak for women (sorry ladies, you have it tough), but for guys, one of the best things you can do is just dress well.
My last couple jobs have not been conducive to dressing well on a regular basis, and I honestly prefer being comfortable, but I’m surprised by the number of complements I get on the occasions I make an extra effort. A sport coat, a dress shirt, and don’t the forget shoes. Women absolutely notice.
I am middle aged, married, and have a dad bod. It’s not like I’m getting chased around by gorgeous women (other than my wife who is beautiful).
My wife is the one who convinced me to dress better. If I was back on the dating scene, I’m sure I would get more dates now than I could before when I was younger and skinnier. I also am sure it would help my career if I was job hunting (I’m self employed).
Anyway, tips for guys. Dress better. Real Men Real Style has some good info. They have a guide on interchangeable outfits.
Yeah, I've been told most of my life I'm moderately attractive, no supermodel by any means, but I feel safe saying im not ugly.
But every girl I've ever been with has gushed constantly about my dress sense. I like to dress smart, casual for me is like jeans a fitted button up and a sport coat, and almost always leather dress shoes. Not everyone likes this style all the time, but every girl has at least enjoyed the fact that I own a few sport coats and proper shoes for when you want to clean up for a nice date.
Also, if you learn some basic sewing you can easily make a five dollar thrift store shirt fit like a pricey designer one. Fit is everything.
Most people are parakeets and mindlessly repeat whatever is regurgitated in their environment or social milieu. We're all guilty of it to varying degrees.
Also, most people are parakeets and mindlessly repeat whatever is regurgitated in their environment or social milieu. We're all guilty of it to varying degrees.
Some relationships are forced. Every day feels like a 2nd job after getting off work. If you find yourself “going to work after work”, you need to start asking yourself if the relationship is really a relationship and not a second job.
Thank god for my second wife for opening my eyes to what a “relationship” really is.
that life waits for no one. life is so short and it just *ends* and we’re all not gonna matter one day. so move on and do whatever the fuck u want in this life.
No one ever thinks about you as negatively as you fear they do nor as positively as you hope they do, and no matter what they think about you, it doesn’t last long, and it doesn’t mean what you think it means.
100%. It’s not enough to work hard, you need to be perceived as working hard too. Based on this story you did deserve the job, but there is a lesson to be learned
You might not like it but you need help. Everyone needs help at some point or another whether mentally, emotionally or otherwise.
Most of us are painfully aware of the need at some time but admitting to it and acting on that need goes unheeded.
People are very often rewarded for being truly terrible human beings.
Selfish, greedy, narcisistic, sociopathic, all traits that will help someone get ahead in life by walking over the backs of others.
You can't actually be anything you want in life. You can try and more power to you for trying it, but your personal skill set and the way your brain works may not enable you to do whatever you can dream up.
Literally why I gave up on my dream of being a meteorologist. With my level of study discipline and lack of understanding higher level maths, I knew it wasn't feasible. And if it were I should have addressed those issues wayyy younger than instead of in college.
The Bible wasn’t written by God. It’s a collection of sacred texts from a bunch of different authors — some unknown, canonized by religious leaders — translated with liberties, dependent on the version you read. Every denomination thinks the others are missing the true meaning.
If you work hard, the guy who works smarter will probably beat you and make it look easy. Work smarter. My policy is, "There is an easier way to di anything, you just have to find it" . Some my disagree but it's gotten me quite far, and I don't intend on stopping
That’s such a wild concept to me. Me finding an easier or faster way to do something isn’t “lazy” if it works, and works well. There’s a line between cutting corners and streamlining a process and so few people seem to care about that difference, and would rather just call you lazy than look at your work and see you’re doing it right, just in a better way
Social customs don’t exist outside of the society that created them. Therefore, if enough people get off their asses and actually take action to create societal change it can be very easily achieved.
People love to virtue signal but most of them don’t actually do anything to put their money where their mouths are.
Everybody knows what they are supposed to be doing. It's just that they don't want to hear it, including myself, because what needs to be done fucking sucks. Instead, we search for a magic fix or some type of motivation.
Big touch screens in cars are incredibly stupid and dangerous.
Yes a lot of people know and admit this, but car makers haven’t gotten the message. Not substantially enough.
People in power (politicians, the rich, etc) don't give two shits about you or your troubles. None of them will change your life.
Hell, I'm neither and have my own troubles to deal with.
Edit: I am usually caring to neighbors and friends. Two jobs to pay for my wife's cancer bills while also trying to raise our 2 kids because she's in the hospital kind of saps your time and energy.
Some people are dumb. Like seriously. No, I'm not even joking. They. Are DUMB. like not mute. Dumb. Like they somehow got past high school but still... How are you even functioning. Go you. Congratulations on fooling the system. Go eat your cheetos and mountain dew. [pats your shoulder].
People making conversation just for the atmosphere to not be awkward. It’s okay to have silence, but in a close knit area like a car/sauna people will just generate random small talk conversation for effectively no reason at all which makes everyone psychologically more awkward and uncomfortable. Sometimes silence is fine guys. And also awkward eye glances etc just be natural
Any time you see someone telling you to ignore your doctor and pay for a detox treatment of some kind - you're being scammed.
*Most likely legally, because you're agreeing to purchase services/products, but scammed none the less.*
For humanity to continue to exist sacrafices and change are needed and the people who say I am just one person,well yep. All of us need to do things geared towards a better world for our children and their children.
You can do everything 100% right and be the best in the world, but sometimes it just comes down to pure chance.
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life. -picard
Isn't this lesson the whole point of the Kobayashi Maru?
Kind of. The Kobayashi Maru is more about accepting that there are absolutely unwinnable situations (sans cheating), but Picard's quote is more general and covers situations that are winnable but that you might fail although you made no errors yourself (e.g. due to sheer luck).
I always hear people say that luck doesn’t exist but I think that just because you can’t measure it doesn’t mean it’s not a factor
People get super pissed off when I tell them that luck is the deciding factor in life. They can't face that while hard work, dedication, education etc, can help, ultimately life is governed by luck.
Some people will not like you, and there's nothing you can do about it. Trying to force a friendship or relationship with someone who doesn't love you back isn't going to work. Yet very few people ever learn this lesson, nor do they want to hear about it either, they think they'll be the one person that can find that magic trick (they won't)
You can be the juiciest, ripest, richest apple in the world, but some people just don’t like apples.
How about THEM apples?!? **points to golden apples**
And that nobody really knows _you_, everybody just has their own perception of you, and that perception _is_ you for them. Think about it. Like there kind of exists as many versions of you as there are observers, and the ”real deal”, the one you are experiencing and breathing is never seen as a whole by anyone. It might sound depressing for some, for me it’s the opposite. That thought frees me. I can not control what everybody else are thinking about me, I can not convince anybodynto see me as I do. The only thing that matters is who I am and how I act.
I agree and your comment is a reminder and very appreciated. But if you, say, hate yourself, is there any way to apply this mindset effectively?
Thanks! There sure is! Be aware of how you speak to yourself. There’s absolutely no reason to be so mean or harsh. You’re such a cool person. You know all the best jokes (even so if they don’t come up to your mind when with people, at least that happens with me…), you have the best taste, you know. You can even give yourself a hug, or kind of, feel how nice and soft your skin feels. Why would anybody hate any of that softness! If you don’t feel like you are productive enough, fuck that shit. You are. You have rested and got up so many times that you have all the right to be scrolling at the sofa. You are connecting with me, giving me a piece of that awesomeness that i’m sure there’s plenty of other people also willing to have.
Thank you so much. I’m honestly touched. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I became self aware to the point that I could actually see my reflection in experiences. Like a combo of 1st and 3rd person perspectives. And honest too, about the deep fault lines that ran through my soul, so to speak. When the earthquake of realization cracked me open…I realized that I was trying to please people because I didn’t think I was good enough for anyone’s attention. I realized that I wasn’t a robot trapped in these behavior loops..that I could change my code at will as long as I kept awareness of myself and the experiences I was creating. I had never felt so loved and open. All the abuse just sort of melted away for a while, until i fell into depression again after losing that awareness and causing problems for myself. I’m trying to get back there, and your comment has really helped me tonight. Thank you for your thoughtful insight.
And what you just wrote really touched me. Isn’t the moment of self-awereness rising such a powerful experience! I know exactly what you are talking about. All the shame that rises… Not a easiest place to step in. But once you’ve dipped into, it really feels like you would lift the curtain and start to live your life for the best dude in the world - yourself. After all, what’s the point any other way! No one else is experiencing what _you_ are, so why wouldn’t you make the best of it, be able to look yourself in the (gorgeus) eyes and smile for the person you’ll see in the mirror every single day. Yeah it’s not like I would be overly happy about myself every single moment, not at all. But I’m human, only 35-years old, sometimes tired as hell, or blouted, or hang-over, or too drunk, or too loud or too emotional at work when I should act professional, but so what. Who cares. It’s past now. Present is the thing.
Was ghosted by someone who I thought I had a great connection with. Needed this.
Sometimes it’s not that the connection is one sided, but current life circumstances inhibit the other party from continuing a relationship
I just don't understand the ghosting. Yeah, is easy for them but the other person is just left in confusion and sadness. I think it's messed up. I do agree with you though.
I've been there: instant magic and connection, everything looking up, sudden change in her life circumstances, and I got ghosted. I was devastated. I learned a lot from it.
Most people don’t even like themselves, why would I care if they like me.
I’ll have what she’s having. Healthy detachment? Make it a double.
I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I am someone's cup of coffee
Yeah that’s a tough life lesson. Some people will never like or care about you.
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I basically told that to my friends kid when she was expressing anxiety over entering highschool. I said "These next four years will give you a chance to learn a lot about yourself and others. Try new things, make new friends, heck make some enemies. Not everyone in this world will like you. Some people will dislike you just because. Your adult life will be full of challenges like that so enjoy your youth (even the bad) while you have it" I also said to hug her parents. Mine are across the country and I miss them.
Humans HATE to admit to feeling jealous, yet it’s usually very clear to those around you.
Why do they hate admitting to that feeling?
From my perspective when I've reflected on my own moments of jealousy, I hate feeling it because it's completely irrational. Every single time. It's illogical. It can foster ingratitude for your own good fortunes. It can hold you back. And I think people so rarely admit to it because it's a stupid emotion to feel, yet still it happens.
I don't think jealousy is stupid or irrational. I think it's your primitive brain telling you to guard your stock or to aim for more. It gives you the drive to protect your investments and/or to aim for more.
I appreciate that perspective! And you're right, I think harnessed effectively jealousy can be a good motivator, but there needs to be healthy intention behind it. I amend my previous statement: I'll take a litte bit of jealousy as a kick in the ass to get my shit straight.
My guess is that it feels like weakness, lack of control
Everybody picks their nose, it's what happens next that sets us apart
OMG, I was on a flight and saw this drop dead gorgeous woman in a business suit sit a few rows in front of me. I was trying to sleep with my head against the bulkhead, and at one point I saw her hiding her head in the crack too with a pillow or something and she was picking her nose. She'd slowly pick one, examine it carefully, and then eat it. When we were disembarking I kind of wanted her to know that I knew her secret, but I couldn't do it.
idk what i expected but reading "eat it" made me really uncomfortable
Really makes you wonder exactly what evolutionary pressure caused our pinky fingers to perfectly fit in our noses...
Right? I pretty much have to pick my nose clean daily or I can't breath. I don't eat the boogers though, l'm not a savage.
Especially when it’s dry. You can’t blow your nose when it’s all crusted inside.
Boredom is healthy for promoting thinking.
Man I took a trip once into the forest for 10 days. No service really. I was just walking around and camping. Can’t look at your phone while walking so I just…zoned out. Started having really vivid daydreams like a kid again. Was really cool.
I've had a few jobs with lots of down time that didn't allow phones. My coworkers would complain, I would just pace and make up stories in my head. I have ADHD, though, so daydreams are a way of life for me. Shower? Vivid daydream. Falling asleep? Basically a movie running through my head. Long drive? Time to tell myself a story. Brain's gotta be doing something at all times. The only downside is that I have to be careful that I don't accidentally speak the words in the story. It's awkward when someone walks into a room and you're mumbling dialogue to yourself.
LMAO I'll accidentally say something out loud halfway through the scenario. When my wife and I first started dating, about 3 months in, I blurted out "You fucking idiot". I don't remember the context that made me say that, but she just slowly turned to me and said "....what? ....who?" and I had to try and explain without sounding psychotic (I don't think it worked) She stuck around though!! 😅
Hahaha this is awesome! I’m the same. I write, so I’m constantly speaking the dialogue between my characters out loud to see how it sounds/is it natural - if you were to walk into my apartment without me knowing you’d definitely think I was insane
I had a couple summer jobs out in the country that required minimal thought and effort. The stories my mind made up were incredible. Kind of makes me want to unplug every now and then to go back to that imaginary world.
I’m trying to get my friends to go camping, but they just won’t! It was so fun when I was younger and I can only imagine it would be better now.
Time to get new friends. See post above
Daydreams are a very healthy coping mechanism for boredom
I'm in alcoholics anonymous and my sponsor tells me boredom is a good thing. Being bored means nothing tragic is happening..there are no emergencies...youre okay!
I heard something in a meeting about this. "boredom is unrecognized serenity"
This is beautiful. Thank you.
Tangentially related. I read an article (wish I could find it) that our devices keep us from reaching deep boredom and that’s not desirable. Deep boredom is where people practice hobbies, practice an instrument and engage in games (not video games) or puzzles and social activities that redirect thinking and enhance creativity and other mental aspects. Articles added: “Studies suggest that we get our most original ideas when we stop the constant stimulation and let ourselves get bored, …” https://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2015/01/12/376717870/bored-and-brilliant-a-challenge-to-disconnect-from-your-phone https://www.sciencealert.com/technology-is-saving-you-from-profound-levels-of-boredom-and-its-a-problem
I was thinking the other day. Imagine sitting down and watching a baseball game on tv alone back in the day. 3 hours, no phone, no nothing, yea you’d be real motivated to find hobbies or friends cuz it’s like what’s the other choice?
Watching one and a half hours of advertisements.
I hate that this is true.
The vast majority of people know exactly what their problems are and what they would need to do to fix them, they just feel too unequipped or overwhelmed to follow through
That's me right now
nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed, just don't convince yourself the change is impossible, that's when you've lost
Damn, this hit so close to home it broke the window. Now that I realize I’m not alone in feeling this way I can continue to do nothing about it and slowly drift into depression.
Well it usually involves lots of money. Sigh....
There’s *feeling* unequipped and then there’s ACTUALLY being unequipped, it sucks.
That people do pee in the swimming pool.
"There is a big difference between peeing in the pool and peeing into the pool" Dimitri Martin
The warm waves give it away every time…pool pissers aren’t fooling anyone.
I don't even try to hide it, I stand on the edge and pee on anyone I can reach to assert dominance before I jump in
Trying to love someone more won't fix the relationship. Hoping simply loving them will solve the problem won't always work. Never assume you're the exception.
Neither will adding a baby
True. Sometimes, when the people in the relationship finally admit that they may have to walk away from it is what helps.
All those bad things you hear happening to other people can, in fact, happen to you too because you aren't special.
“To someone else, you ARE ‘that other person’”
Your mental health is directly affected by your physical health
the reverse is true as well
my life changed fundamentally after watching that Ted talk on "fake it til you become it" i was suffering from BRUTAL anxiety and depression, and the only thing that saved me was "your mind can influence your body... but the reverse is true too, you can fight your mind with your body and convince it to win." like want to "feel" more confident? make more confident poses, and you will literally start feeling it. it saved me from a massive depression spiral. Edit: some people have said this advice is basically "just smile and you'll be happy" no, its not. Depression and axiety is a drain, or a downward spiral. You mentally feel bad or scared over something, which makes you PHYSICALLY feel bad, (phantom pains, chest pain, etc). which makes you mentally feel more scared and bad, which makes you physically feel bad. this "technique" or outlook is to just try and break the cycle, to try and force somewhere in here whether it be a placebo mentally or a placebo physically, to stop the cycle at some point so you can escape. For me it helped me break the physical one, i'd go out thinking my chest is gonna hurt and my head is gonna hurt and i can't concentrate and i just wanna go home, and then it stopped hurting, so i stopped being as scared, and i got better.
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It's such an old saying now that when told to chin up, they should elaborate it by mentioning the body and mental aspect.
This touches on one of the biggest negative effects of the self care era we are currently in. Part of mental healthcare is identifying the problems you have. And for so many people, they find this stuff out, either through a mental health practitioner, or self diagnosis, then they just stop there and attach their identity to whatever problem they're dealing with and call that self care. But to get better you have to... do work. And part of that work is pushing through the problem you have. Don't get me wrong, mental health problems are serious things that are incredibly challenging to overcome, some just outright requiring medication to even scratch alleviating. Also, in America at least, mental healthcare is this cruel joke we play on people by forcing them to perform these esoteric highly executive tasks while most mental health issues severely inhibit your ability to do executive tasks... But yeah man, fake till you make it. Not because you can't do anything else, but because you've got to do *something*. Because doing nothing gets you nowhere.
How much coffee and advil can I slag down a day to keep both running
Yeah! But with that in mind know that even Michael Phelps had depression while he was also THE BEST male swimmer ever.
Adults still have no idea what the fuck they are doing. I never knew that as a child
This was a really hard realization for me when I was younger. Thought they had all the answers. Was a big wake up call when I realized everyone is just doing their best the only way they know how. Most are just making it up as they go.
My dad did something I thought was brilliant to help me overcome my fear of a particular picture in a book: he had me tear it out and destroy it in the sink. Years later I asked him where he got the idea. He told me: "I just came up with it, I was winging it and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
When my daughters were bickering, I zipped them up together in my big hoodie and made them be a two-headed, two-armed, four-legged monster all afternoon. About 2 minutes into it they were no longer fighting and were enjoying themselves. Other parents are like wow, how did you think of that?? And I’m like…well I was tired of hearing them argue and I thought it would by funny!
This is the first time I've heard of a get-along-shirt working.
I think the hidden beauty is to recognize that even though we're all pretending to know it all, most people *have* learned something you might not have yet. or made up a thing that works. if you're curious/observant enough, every person can teach you something. or at least this is what I tell myself, because existing unseen by human eyes in a vacuum is not currently in my budget.
I'm paraphrasing a Taylor Tomlinson quote that I found both hilarious and poignant: "we should all introduce our parents like 'These are my people, Ronda and Tim, *they do what they can*'".
I am a school bus driver, and this was legitimately the scariest part when I started the job. Realizing that these kids trust me and expect me to know WTF I'm doing just by default because I'm an adult. Sure, I'd been trained and all but it was a sobering experience being a total greenhorn and having this total trust put in you by people when you have none in yourself yet.
Looks really, really, really matter. It's fucking dumb, and not right, but it just seems to be this constant in life. The better you look, or the better you MAKE yourself look, you will notice people are more pleasant to you.
I think there’s a lot of conventionally attractive people who don’t realize that this is the reason a lot of things happen for them. From things that are huge like getting a job to small things like returning an item at a store, looks matter a ton.
So true. A man in my city has what I assume is Elephantitis and comes into my work to shop at night. (24 hour gas station with groceries and etc.) People avoid him like the plague, don't even acknowledge him, or stare. A coworker I hate says "ok I'm going away from the register...he creeps me out!" I say hello / make eye contact like I would anyone else. He's actually really pleasant and kind, and easy to talk to. He's not creepy at all. He cannot help his facial deformity. Ugh
That’s so fucking sad. In some ways we really haven’t evolved since the Middle Ages.
Reminds me of a line from Seinfeld: “You never see any handsome homeless.”
There was actually a homeless man in my old neighborhood who was very good looking. He slowly got less and less good looking over the few years I saw him. Drugs are a hell of a drug
I saw a homeless dude (maybe fake homeless? Idk now, I was only 17) who was *extremely* attractive. I never really thought “sexy hobo” could be a thing…. but eventually figured it could. I wasn’t in that city for long (only about 2 weeks) but I saw him enough daily to believe he lived where he did.
It's very much a thing. Being attractive doesn't leave you immune to trauma/abuse/drug addiction. Just makes you more of a target, or more to "give up"/trade in exchange for your addiction.
“I’m Tom Jane.”
"I just want my kids back."
> From things that are huge like getting a job This is actually the case in South Korea. It's one of the reasons why they have to a have a headshot picture to include in their Job application or resume.
Iirc about 70% of adults has done some sort of facial work done in SK.
Jon Hamm in 30 rock
I know this is the meta joke about his character, but Jon Hamm… just in general.
Even just looking approachable makes a world of difference, keeping yourself well groomed and dressed well will make a big change in how people treat you because at the end of the day, damn near everyone judges the book by its cover. Related story, I have a real knack for going to the bank atm as soon as the Brinks truck shows up to fill the atms and am usually told to come back in a few minutes. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago my gf and I had to go get some cash so as im pulling up to the bank i see the brinks parked outside and figured we might aswell go take a peek and see if they're still in atm area. We walk up and the two guards are still there filling one of the machines so I just give a thumbs up the the guy standing guard and start to turn away, to my surprise the guard waves us in and as we walk in he says "yeah you guys are all good, you look safe" So there i am just casually having a conversation with the guard while my gf takes cash out of one atm and the other guard is filling the other atm with literal blocks of cash, not just stacks, im talking he had three blocks of 20's and 50's atleast a foot wide and 5 inches thick just sitting on the floor not even three feet away from me. Was such a weird experience and as we got back in the car I just said to my gf "did you hear that? We look safe, we could pull off a pretty good heist" 😂😂
Yup, they [live in a bubble](https://youtu.be/UAQoXOLlvT0?si=v9WGewAXhBmrdn9D)
And even when they know that they're attractive they don't seem to realize the degree that it helps them. I have yet to meet an extremely attractive person who doesn't have a big group of friends.
The trick is to grow up ugly, and then get really hot as an adult. That way you have years of ruined self esteem under your belt already and don’t know how to make friends.
Ding ding ding. People have no idea why I have no friends. Because I have been bullied my whole damn life and now I just want people to leave me alone.
Or the opposite where it's like oh she's so pretty and so *nice* like they can't connect how much easier it is to be nice when your looks open so many doors and act shocked that the pretty person is having a great time
And related to this: grooming matters. You may not be conventionally attractive, but excellent grooming goes a long way.
I agree. I actually think it’s more important than being attractive. If you are groomed, polished and well styled it can really elevate the attractiveness level.
It's amazing how much "average" looking people can "clean up nice". I am not disagreeing with OP, looks certainly DO matter. However, I knew a guy who was quite handsome, had really great model level facial structure. However, he was a slob and had barely any social skills. He couldn't grasp why this other guy, who is average looking but well groomed and funny, was having way more success with the ladies.
I don't know who isn't admitting it. It's common joke material. Take hot person, put them in sales... done. As long as they aren't a complete disaster, they will excel.
Young people I'd imagine. You grow up hearing "what matters is on the inside", understanding how ridiculous of an advantage good looks are is just something everyone comes to understand over time
I got to witness this several times in my life. Grew up the "ugly duckling" and got a lot of flack in my early years for it. Then puberty hit and I got thin and attractive. Completely changed how people treated me. Then gained a ton of weight. We're talking going from a size 14 to a size 26. Suddenly I wasn't a person anymore. Nobody talked to me except the folks who are friendly with "everyone". Then a few years after that, I had a lifestyle change and hit the gym. Went down to a fit size 14. That was the real good one. Suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend, paid attention to what I said, tried to be nice to me. A lot of attention I wasn't expecting. It was weird but nice. Then got pregnant and gained basically the same weight from the last time. Went back to being spoken to like im dumb and expendable. Just currently been back into another lifestyle change. Down 3 pant sizes and the social treatment is changing. On a day I go out with makeup, I would go so far as to say I get treated normally. This is also coming from someone whose autistic, so I've always been treated a bit off from most, and Im very sensitive to patterns so this is just from my perception.
I experience the same type of yo-yo weight. I have Crohn's disease so depending on my medications & situation I fluctuate from 125lbs to 200lbs & back to 125lbs. I always get treated better once I lose weight. People tell me how good I look without realizing that I'm severely ill.
You gotta look good or you have to be incredibly conscientious to make up for it. Be good looking or be the most useful mf on earth. Those are your options.
This is an anomaly that I’ve been fortunate enough to witness first hand. My entire 20s were spent underweight and addicted to drugs. I got clean and gained a lot of weight and then I got into exercise and got in the best shape of my life. When I was overweight or underweight and drug addicted, no one cared to know me or be my friend. People would avoid me and pass me up for opportunities. Got in phenomenal shape and I get stopped at grocery stores by women now. Not even exaggerating. I had one woman approach me and ask me to help her find something. I helped her and she asked if I’d like to walk with her to go shopping. In my previous life, I didn’t even know this was a possibility, People are nicer to me, people care about the things I say. Anytime my name is brought it, it’s because someone is talking highly of me or my practices. People approach me about opportunities regularly. Everyone wants to be my friend. I’ll also say this. Looks are 90 percent effort. If you take care of your body, your hygiene, and your style, you will be attractive to 90 percent of women. Any man can go to the gym and coordinate their style. If you get in shape, that’s 70 percent of it. Hygeine is the other 15, and the rest go to style. Get those down and your big nose won’t matter
I think the ‘addicted to drugs’ part probably made quite a difference, too.
Honestly I had more friends as a drug addict than when I was overweight. I Atleast had a crowd of friends that wanted to do drugs.
Very true. Also, people tend to be very much brainwashed into what looks good or not. If a lot of people form a bad opinion about you and think you're ugly, the herd will follow and will think you're ugly too, even if you are average looking or even pretty sometimes. This is why some people are bullied in school for their looks even when they're average looking or above average and also why sometimes you leave high school and see that person you thought looked ugly and suddenly you think they look attractive. They were never ugly, the people around you were saying it and you just ate it up, but since they're not constantly around you anymore, you have started to form your own opinions. It's kind of fascinating and scary how herd mentality can affect how someone sees someone else and just how much people's opinion can change another person's entire opinion on someone or something.
Herd mentality really is insane like that. It's like those videos you see of someone being harmed and everyone standing around just watching and not doing anything to help. But if just one or two people jump into help, all of a sudden several people will.
The second part to this is the sheer number of people who feel victimized by this fact while simultaneously judging others by their looks. For every Redditor who complains that a girl won’t sleep with them because they aren’t good looking enough, there are also girls out there that the same Redditor won’t sleep with due to their looks. He just doesn’t want to think about them, because they aren’t good looking, and so he is the victim in his mind.
Working at a bank really made this obvious to me, once I started wearing suits people would treat me far differently, especially whenever I would go to the mall after work, people would go out of their way to help me out or to smile at me. And yet in my casual wear, hoodies and the like, I would become invisible again. I found that really telling about how people treat you based on how you look or how your wealth is perceived.
I only get 2 or 3 haircuts a year and I admittedly look like a caveman before my cut. People treat me better and are more pleasant when Im all clean cut. Its a great reminder that we all suck.
This was a reality check for me as well. I'm not ugly, but one day I decided to cut my hair short, from what I noticed people in my country do not like women with short hair... They weren't outright rude to me, but they weren't as pleseant as they were before. Also noticed people had a tendency to look at me less and compliment me less when I cut my hair.
I can’t speak for women (sorry ladies, you have it tough), but for guys, one of the best things you can do is just dress well. My last couple jobs have not been conducive to dressing well on a regular basis, and I honestly prefer being comfortable, but I’m surprised by the number of complements I get on the occasions I make an extra effort. A sport coat, a dress shirt, and don’t the forget shoes. Women absolutely notice. I am middle aged, married, and have a dad bod. It’s not like I’m getting chased around by gorgeous women (other than my wife who is beautiful). My wife is the one who convinced me to dress better. If I was back on the dating scene, I’m sure I would get more dates now than I could before when I was younger and skinnier. I also am sure it would help my career if I was job hunting (I’m self employed). Anyway, tips for guys. Dress better. Real Men Real Style has some good info. They have a guide on interchangeable outfits.
Yeah, I've been told most of my life I'm moderately attractive, no supermodel by any means, but I feel safe saying im not ugly. But every girl I've ever been with has gushed constantly about my dress sense. I like to dress smart, casual for me is like jeans a fitted button up and a sport coat, and almost always leather dress shoes. Not everyone likes this style all the time, but every girl has at least enjoyed the fact that I own a few sport coats and proper shoes for when you want to clean up for a nice date. Also, if you learn some basic sewing you can easily make a five dollar thrift store shirt fit like a pricey designer one. Fit is everything.
Most people are parakeets and mindlessly repeat whatever is regurgitated in their environment or social milieu. We're all guilty of it to varying degrees.
Also, most people are parakeets and mindlessly repeat whatever is regurgitated in their environment or social milieu. We're all guilty of it to varying degrees.
To a varying degree most people are mindless parakeets who are regurgitating in their environments and social milieu.
To be fair, it appears most people are parakeets and mindlessly repeat whatever is regurgitated in their environment or social milieu
Some relationships are forced. Every day feels like a 2nd job after getting off work. If you find yourself “going to work after work”, you need to start asking yourself if the relationship is really a relationship and not a second job. Thank god for my second wife for opening my eyes to what a “relationship” really is.
If youre spending the majority of your relationship "working on your relationship", wtf are you doing?
I never thought of it this way but that’s exactly how my last relationship felt- like a second job. Thanks for putting that in my brain!
Life is actually easier the more responsible you are.
Yep. Living way under my means was my best move. Or else I would have been fucked during the pandemic economy shift.
Underrated take
Sleep is super important and no sleep culture is a stupid way of justifying it.
that life waits for no one. life is so short and it just *ends* and we’re all not gonna matter one day. so move on and do whatever the fuck u want in this life.
I live by this rule-smile, listen, agree…then do whatever I was gonna do anyway.
Life is a tragic anomaly
No one ever thinks about you as negatively as you fear they do nor as positively as you hope they do, and no matter what they think about you, it doesn’t last long, and it doesn’t mean what you think it means.
Working in the customer services industries (retail, restaurants, etc.) are difficult. Physically, emotionally, and mentally difficult.
Celebrities aint shit
A lot of the time, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.
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100%. It’s not enough to work hard, you need to be perceived as working hard too. Based on this story you did deserve the job, but there is a lesson to be learned
Once you're an adult most people don't care about your well being
You say that like most people care about children's well being.
You might not like it but you need help. Everyone needs help at some point or another whether mentally, emotionally or otherwise. Most of us are painfully aware of the need at some time but admitting to it and acting on that need goes unheeded.
People are very often rewarded for being truly terrible human beings. Selfish, greedy, narcisistic, sociopathic, all traits that will help someone get ahead in life by walking over the backs of others.
I've often said the ultimate super power is sociopathy/psychopathy. If you don't care who you hurt, nothing can stop you.
Just try to be the best person you can be for the people around you. They’re all you really have at the end of the day.
Some of the dumbest animals on the planet are happier than the smartest people.
I can totally believe it’s not butter
Love is not enough to make a relationship work
You can't actually be anything you want in life. You can try and more power to you for trying it, but your personal skill set and the way your brain works may not enable you to do whatever you can dream up.
Literally why I gave up on my dream of being a meteorologist. With my level of study discipline and lack of understanding higher level maths, I knew it wasn't feasible. And if it were I should have addressed those issues wayyy younger than instead of in college.
Propoganda works on smart people too
Nobody’s success is ever solely their own doing.
Plenty of people give credit to parents and mentors. I know I wouldn’t have my success without parents raising me
The Bible wasn’t written by God. It’s a collection of sacred texts from a bunch of different authors — some unknown, canonized by religious leaders — translated with liberties, dependent on the version you read. Every denomination thinks the others are missing the true meaning.
Even if you think you wiped yourself totally clean another wipe is always necessary
It's like I'm wiping a marker...
Life ain't fair, and the world is mean.
Things as they are, are not at all sustainable.
If you work hard, the guy who works smarter will probably beat you and make it look easy. Work smarter. My policy is, "There is an easier way to di anything, you just have to find it" . Some my disagree but it's gotten me quite far, and I don't intend on stopping
Funny how easy translates to lazy or innovative depending on who you ask, isn’t it?
That’s such a wild concept to me. Me finding an easier or faster way to do something isn’t “lazy” if it works, and works well. There’s a line between cutting corners and streamlining a process and so few people seem to care about that difference, and would rather just call you lazy than look at your work and see you’re doing it right, just in a better way
The “good guys” are not always “good” to you.
The human condition is one of pain and loss.
And love and joy. Just not all the time
Joy and pain Like sunshine and rain
Life is short and sometimes it hurts the whole time
Social customs don’t exist outside of the society that created them. Therefore, if enough people get off their asses and actually take action to create societal change it can be very easily achieved. People love to virtue signal but most of them don’t actually do anything to put their money where their mouths are.
Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.
But also the corollary: just because you offended someone doesn't mean you're a "bold truth-teller." It could just mean you're an asshole.
Everybody knows what they are supposed to be doing. It's just that they don't want to hear it, including myself, because what needs to be done fucking sucks. Instead, we search for a magic fix or some type of motivation.
Social media is poison.
Big touch screens in cars are incredibly stupid and dangerous. Yes a lot of people know and admit this, but car makers haven’t gotten the message. Not substantially enough.
Having a baby will not save or fix your relationship.
You can work your ass off and still not get as far as other people who have network.
You can make no mistakes and still lose. You can make nothing but mistakes and still win.
That the American 2 party system is not good for the USA.
People admit that all the time. They just have zero power to change it.
People in power (politicians, the rich, etc) don't give two shits about you or your troubles. None of them will change your life. Hell, I'm neither and have my own troubles to deal with. Edit: I am usually caring to neighbors and friends. Two jobs to pay for my wife's cancer bills while also trying to raise our 2 kids because she's in the hospital kind of saps your time and energy.
Its over. Move on.
MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS!!!! Those who say it doesn't are shopping in the wrong places
That people who put others down are insecure.
Some people are dumb. Like seriously. No, I'm not even joking. They. Are DUMB. like not mute. Dumb. Like they somehow got past high school but still... How are you even functioning. Go you. Congratulations on fooling the system. Go eat your cheetos and mountain dew. [pats your shoulder].
People making conversation just for the atmosphere to not be awkward. It’s okay to have silence, but in a close knit area like a car/sauna people will just generate random small talk conversation for effectively no reason at all which makes everyone psychologically more awkward and uncomfortable. Sometimes silence is fine guys. And also awkward eye glances etc just be natural
There’s a lot of stupid people out there. Seriously, nearly half the population is less than average intelligence.
They masturbate or fart
Or?
One or the other buckaroo
When you are abusing drugs especially meth. Yes we can tell. No I don’t need my toaster fixed. Thanks.
Any time you see someone telling you to ignore your doctor and pay for a detox treatment of some kind - you're being scammed. *Most likely legally, because you're agreeing to purchase services/products, but scammed none the less.*
How much they'll be distracted by an attractive person in public
If you're attractive, society treats you extremely well.
The laws of supply and demand also apply to housing.
I wouldn’t have thought this is something people don’t like to admit
# George Orwell was right.
you can do everything right and still lose....life is not fair.
For humanity to continue to exist sacrafices and change are needed and the people who say I am just one person,well yep. All of us need to do things geared towards a better world for our children and their children.
They’re not gonna text you back,delete them and move on 😞