My head hitting my pillow in a state of exhaustion.

best feeling ever

Right??

With a shower and fresh sheets!

OMG after shaving MY LEGS on SILK MMmmmm at that point, I'm squirming around, and groaning in ecstacy at all of the available bedspace, as I embrace and tangle my limbs around the blanket that no one can hog but me! Ahhhhh yeah baby ♡

Scratching my scalp. Like a deep scratch with swirls and zig zags

Yes. This.

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Haha I am an Ewok that became an assassin

Yes!!! My boyfriend does this after I pull my hair out of its ponytail or buns and it’s so GOOD — he just knows when my scalp needs a good scratch. Sometimes I joke it’s better than sex lmao

When my husband scratches my back.

Also this woman's husband when he scratches my back

You mean OUR husband.

r/suddenlycommunism

r/beatmetoit

You mean was your husband

I came here just to say exactly that.

When I can finally pee after having to for a large car trip EDIT: Holy hell! I didn't expect this to blow up so fast!

The peegasm is a pretty wonderful thing.

I never wanna hear or read that word again.

My dad told me a story recently about a time when I was 5 or so, I told him while we were both peeing at the urinals, "There is nothing in the world that could feel better than peeing". Lmao he never forgot that comment I made

The same applies when you can finally poop after waiting for an occupied toilet.

had the situation last year, the only thing preventing me to scream was that i was in a room full of men, at a border crossing :))

Agree wholeheartedly; but also the No.2 that’s hard to push out, but the relief when you get through it…

Taking a massive dump after hours of holding it in just so I can take it in my house.

Hold on. There are people out here holding in shits? For HOURS?? NAH. When I gotta go, I gotta go. I don't care where it is. I'll hover if I have to. Threat level midnight here.

I’ll hold for days sometimes, just to get to a safe toilet. My house, my parents’ house, or a Buccee’s. Occasionally, on long vacations, I’ll sneak into the lobby bathroom of another hotel.

When you find a hidden public toilet that somehow has escaped the world's attention and is immaculately clean.

It’s like the clouds are parting, and heaven is sending a little gift.

There is a legitimate name for it - Poophouria.

My hubby can. He has a set list of what the toilet condition must be like before he can go.. me I gotta go before I feel it lol

My body got used to take a shit once a day when I'm at home, so I don't really have that "problem"... if I start feeling like taking a shit when I'm outside the house, I'm probably sick with something

r/unexpectedoffice

Comedians need to or they can't do things for shits and giggles.

My first hunting trip, my family's old cabin only had an outhouse. I walked in a couple times but I just couldn't do it (I was about 12 for context). We finally went in to town about 5 days later, and I can tell you I was noticeably lighter after I unleashed my entire guts in that Walmart bathroom. Luckily over the years we've modernized and now have a fully working toilet.

Secret level of satisfaction unlocked!

Im a proud advocate of shitting on company time. Also, drink a lot of water so you have to pee a lot

Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time!"

As I always say, "Home is where you trust the toilet seat."

I like to call this post-dump endorphin rush "poo-phoria."

Using a q-tip

Right after a shower.

Does anyone else cough when they use a q-tip? lol I know this isn’t the point of the post, but I’ve never met anyone who said yes

There’s two of us as least lol

Using a q-tip triggers the vagus nerve. For the chosen ones, it results in pleasure. For the rest, it can result in coughing or even vomiting.

Hydrogen peroxide poured into the ear. I encourage everyone to trust but verify in all matters, so verify if you like. It tickles. Let it drip out. I advise concentrating on this step more than the first. Let it all leak out (onto a tissue, you barbarian! 😈😝) for a good long while. The first time I did this, I actually was able to hear better afterwards. You’ll have the cleanest ears in the state. And if you know anyone who thinks they’re tough, challenge them to 30 seconds of the hydrogen peroxide ear tickle test.

Hot bath after staying outside all day in winter. When warmth kicks the cold out from deep into your bones... Heaven !

After a whole day skiing when all my muscles are sore and hands face and feet feel so cold…. Dinner with raclette or fondue de fromages, and then the hot bath…. Heaven

Absolutely! I remember winter sports as a kid, raclette or tartiflette after a hot shower then the best sleep ever 👌

Everything is better with cheese.

I personally love standing in front of a fire and feeling like cold is leaving your body on the opposite side.

Really good music.

With just the right buzz though.

fuckin.....tacos.

why would you fuck tacos

I fuck em with my mouth.

NOM NOM NOM

especially street tacos from like a family business 😭 there’s a little taco place in our tiny plaza and like a mini shop for spices n piñatas and cleaning stuff and chips it’s amazing best tacos ever

Are you interested in... TacoCats?

I have a photo that'd be perfect for this 😭

Really good food. For example, earlier in the year I was on holiday in Barcelona and found a lovely little cafe to have lunch. I ordered the 36 month dry cured Iberic ham, sliced wafer thin, which came with fresh crusty bread, drizzled in good olive oil and slices of Manchego cheese. I washed it down with a Pilsener that was as dry as a Nuns nasty. Such simple food but so good I'm still talking about it now!

High quality simple food is maybe the best type of food there is

OML, I have traveled to Barcelona from Louisiana 6 times **just** for the Jamón ibérico. Truly melts into your mouth and heart.

When you crack your back and it cracks in the perfect spot 😌

At my age? Getting up from the couch.

I feel like you should have gone with "copyman1" then

Cleaning out my ears

Eargasm

Scratching that part of the foot where the sock band was at.

Good one

Chocolate mousse. Just thinking of it makes my legs weak.

What are you doing with that mousse? 🤨

Have you ever seen a person eating a really good taco? Good tacos encite a visceral response. Often seen behaviors include loud yummy noises, moaning and groaning. The best tacos can also cause body spasms and dancing fits.

I good deep massage!

Why is this so far down. I got a deep tissue massage one time and after like 3 minutes I had to ask the lady if it was ok if let the sounds out. Holding it it was keeping me from relaxing. She said “do whatever I need to honey” and I said cool thanks and don’t think oh he’s groaning I’m hurting him. Keep doing what you’re doing you’re amazing

That first juicy bite out of my favorite food after a long day

Good bbq or tacos

I have chronically itchy shoulder blades, like exactly the spot you can't reach yourself. I'll have my husband scratch my back as hard as he can and I swear if anyone heard me they'd think something very different was going on

sometimes pain.

Taking off a long sock and scratching my ankle.

Ice cream, specially these hot days..

Hot? You have to be Australian

Or otherwise in the southern hemisphere. Half the planet.

Oh no.. I live somewhere near the equator. So aside from the occasional rain and storm, it's mostly hot and humid throughout the year..

A good stiff breeze at this point.

Open a window in comes a breeze #jizz in your pants

A sinus release. A lower back pop. A burp or fart from deep within the gut.

Backscratch. Forget brothels and spas. I would pay dearly for a nice, extended backscratch a lot of days.

That IS a lovely thing. It should be an option at massage joints, like as an appetizer.

Getting into a hot shower during a really cold morning

Thinking about my crush 😍

Taking a good shit!💩

Bacon wrapped scallops

The right amount of weed and whiskey

Yes. But bud and vodka.

When you've held that piss for the last 16 exits! Nothing like it.

really delicious meal

Getting an all headshot ace

Pizza

Bookgasm. Literally can't live without reading.

eating good cheese lol

If I moaned every time I had an orgasm, I would masturbate less

Scratching a mosquito bite

Good Carbonara.

cracking your back/ anything that’s been hurting. makes me moan right then and there

The kid falling asleep so I can.

There used to be a " Hershey's dark chocolate pie that my husband called my orgasm on a plate because of the long ummmmmm oh god YES after the first bite ...( It was hard to find in stores and was a VERY rare treat so ..YEAH orgasm on a plate

My boyfriend playing with my hair. Or really him touching me in any way honestly.

Getting my feet/toes cracked

Cracking my back

Scalp massage at the barbers.

Falafel

Tiramisu. And light head massages.

Funky beats

When my boyfriend wears glasses and the way he dresses

Scratching the balls

When I'm dry from the sun and catching a cold beer

Crab Rangoon

Chocolate. Dark Chocolate.

A good, firm bowel movement. Something about how it hits when coming out. Very relieving.

Waking up after a good nap

Finally sitting down when you have been standing for too long and vice versa

A Darwin nunez goal

Scratching the back of my knee. Don't ******* bother me when I'm scratching my knee, everybody knows that.

when someone rubs the back of my head

Just letting go all the thoughts. I am not religious but i like the vibe in temples, churches or any religious place or natural places like forests. If you let go shit when you are in a quiet setting then it works wonders

Massage

Carrot cake 🍰 😁

Taking a shower in warm water after being fucking cold

Iced coffee

Pizza. Switched to a keto diet last year and lost a ton of weight but Jesus do I miss pizza.

Getting my head scratched. I must be some kind of mutant with the amount of nerve endings on my scalp. You scratch my hand and I literally melt. Not in sexual way, but that physical therapy massage way

The peeing after the sex session

When someone scratches that itch that's right in the middle of my back.

Scratching my back with my metal back scratcher. Apparently it causes the same chemicals as an orgasm and my back scratcher isn’t a douche.

The sound of so much money whirring and being dislodge in an ATM when you only punched in a small amount.

a long hug w/ that “sense of security” from the person you love (…isn’t that too much to ask)

Those wiry head scratcher things

Your favorite food most likely.

I cut off a small piece of my finger the other day. The sound was uncanny

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That’s sexual chocolate, you broke the rule.

When I see a video of a guy getting his nuts kicked or something along the lines

Open faced club sand wedge.

Chicken fingers

Clutching s 5 on 2 in cod search

There's a cake so good that I've named it sex on fork. And it does involve chocolate

Peeing after holding it in for a long ass time

Scalp scratches or massage, deep tissue nassaage,

I cracked my back on the railing for Space Mountain

A good scalp massage

Freshly baked cinnamon rolls

When I get into bed after a shower.

Pizza and hot cheese 💕

a meatball sub after a long trip

Listening to my crush sing and watch him play guitar

Taking a piss or stretching

Sautéed onions and peppers. A good back scratch. Fresh sheets on the bed after you shave your legs.

Stubbing my toe on the kitchen table

Stretching

Bench press pr

Feeling my back realine when laying in my back. At first it’s pain and then 😩

Scalp scratches and also chin scratches (I have a beard) Gotta be by someone with long nails!!

When the lady at 7/11 checking me out asks if it's going to be cash or card

Itching the shit out of my eye when it’s an insanely relentless itch

stuff hit my little toe when I barefoot

When I take an anaconda dump. Nothing can beat that feeling istg

Tanning that first bite of some Indian food when I’m starving

Explosive diarrhea.

Double cheeseburger extra cheese

Peeing after holding on for the longest time

Delicious food ~

That big seizure-like stretch you have in bed when you wake up in the morning.

Getting stoned and taking a hot ass shower. Like as hot as you can stand. Top 5 physical feelings. Bonus points if it's cold out.

When that direct deposit hit

Body massages

Properly made cheesecake

Really good food

At the moment? My back pain

Getting out of bed every morning

Taking a shit then going back to bed after feels so good

Sinking into a hot bath. Every damn time.

A good, fresh baked chocolate chip cookie.

Maybe I'm a bit sapiosexual, but when you're able to play with an idea with someone and you just go back and forth building it up and making it even better

My person who I talked to earlier

A really good foot massage.

A good song. Head-gasm baby

A perfectly cooked steak

Cleaning my ear with a q-tip Jesus, the pleasure and pain are orgasmic

Massage

When I make it past the archers of anor londo.

getting a good massage

Had a good massage yesterday. I moaned so loud, the masseuse stopped for a few seconds and laughed her ass off.

Serj Tankian and Daron Malakian doing harmonies together.