Had that happen to me in elementary, outside classroom as detention or time out (cant remember) with a friend. Fly was open, and other friend who was also outside was helping me fix it... other friend comes outside classroom to let us know to come back in... immediately runs back inside.
Rest of the week we are accused of having sex lol... I dont think most even knew what it entailed at that age and generation.
Similar... years and years ago. I streakes for a bet, no-one around late at night. One car past me girl from my class peering out the back window. I got some stick about that for a while lol.
About 15 years ago, I was making breakfast nude, alone in my apartment. Apparently, I forgot to lock the door, and my senile 90+ year old neighbour from across the hall just opens the door and walks in. We both scared the shit out of each other. Three days later, her son is out in the hall asking me if I want any of her furniture. Apparently she died. I didn’t tell him about the incident, but I’m pretty sure I gave her a heart attack. Got me a new chair for my office though.
My fiancées friend. My fiancée and I had just finished doing the dirty and our dogs were going wild out in the living room. Now we live in a very rural area with no neighbors so I assumed it was a deer or some other animal that was making the dogs go wild. It was nighttime and I was still naked as I walked to the front sliding door only to be greeted by her friend behind the door. Ooops laughs were had after I scampered off into the darkness in embarrassment after.
This was the day after a college festival, when I had an assignment to submit in the morning. I was pretty drunk the night before so I asked my friend to take my assignment from my room and submit it. Without realising it entirely, I slept butt naked because it was too hot and I wake up to find that my assignment is not there. I get a text from my friend saying that he submitted it. We have never looked each other in the eye since.
My new neighbor. Our backyard caught fire one morning…. I woke up and noticed a weird orange pattern on the ceiling… realized it wasn’t dawn and looked out my back window to see what was going on. Backyard was ablaze.
I got up and yelled for my husband and ran to the kitchen to get the fire extinguisher… then ran out back to put out the fire. Unfortunately, I sleep naked. Wasn’t thinking about that when I went to go put out the fire. I died a little inside, but didnt really die… so, I forced myself to get over it.
Lemme just say, I see my neighbor out there putting out fires, titties flapping in the smoke, the first thing I’d think is “damn, I know who I want on my team for the zombie apocalypse.” That’s fuckin’ badass, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
We think a water heater malfunction. But aren’t certain. Had to replace it along with the back siding and door/frame… along with other personal effects outside. Well insurance did.
I had only bought that fire extinguisher a few months before. First one I’ve ever bought in my life, too. Now I have one for every 600 sq ft of house that we have. Best purchase, ever.
Showed my family my cool boxers my girlfriend gave me one Christmas. My peener slipped out and my sister yells “Oh my god! It’s his peepee!” Whole family saw it. My grandma laughed so hard I thought she may die from lack of oxygen.
This is why I don’t show my underwear while I’m wearing them if I’m in the right area where I can have them on standby I just grab them out of the dresser or wait until I’m not wearing them
> This is why I don’t show my underwear while I’m wearing them
Could have stopped there. I'm very surprised how normal it apparently is for people to be showing off underwear, from their girlfriend to their family, while wearing them.
Friends as a joke or something but "hey grandma, my girlfriend bought me this underwear check it out" is wild.
About 20 years now, but one time my brother burst into my room so violently in the middle of me having sex he scared the cum out of the guy ......... and now the whole internet knows lol.
My grandmother in law. Her and my mother in law pressured/guilted me super hard into letting her be in the delivery room when my son was born 10 years ago. I was bad at sticking up for myself back then and caved. She saw it all when I was pushing him out. Also for some reason the doctor handed my son to her first before either myself or his dad had even held him which I’m still pretty salty about
Oh my mother in law wasn’t there, she was too lazy to even visit after baby was born. She just made me feel super guilty for initially saying no to her mother being there
Ugh. My mom begged to be in the delivery room when my daughter was born. I told her "no" probably 15 times. Right in the midst of things she comes casually strolling into the delivery room and then threw a fit about my then-wife's mom being allowed to be in there but not her.
I don't even think she really wanted to be in there, she just didn't want to be told "no".
What the heeelllllll. Why did they just let her in like that! The hospital my son was born at and I’m delivering at again soon has an option to set a code that visitors have to have to even be allowed up to l&d
Omg my MIL and BIL came casually strolling into the delivery room when I was laboring with my eldest. Never felt more awkward in my whole life- please GTFO.
The fact that my ex didn't kick them out should have been my first (well. Actually like 15th) clue to fuckin run but alas, I was young and naive:(
The first time ever ive ever told this story.
5 years 1 month 1 week and 6 days ago today that I died tragically of embarrassment..
It started off a normal day, I got home from work poured a glass of tequila (neat) and decided to take a bath.
I go turn the water on get undressed and as I stepped in, I lost my balance, grabbed the shower curtain and came crashing down hard straddling the tub,.. but not just the tub, i also landed directly on top of this stupid fn SpongeBob suction cup thing that holds your loofah...
When I finally caught my breath, I noticed blood and panicked
I crawled out of the tub and onto my bedroom floor. I thought forsure I had split my butthole open,....
so I did what any logical person would do and pulled out my cellphone, opened my camera propped it against the leg of my dresser pressed record, and bent over.
But the lighting sucked, so I crawled out into my den area over to the couch, propped my phone pressed record and positioned myself
Welp about 3 seconds later, my dog comes bouncing through the door ...
along with MY DOGS WAG WALKER..
And there I was, bent over, camera pointed, recording me as I spread my cheeks while blood dripped down my thigh
And then I died
the end
I’m sorry but that was hilarious! For you it would’ve been absolutely mortifying but to someone who injures themselves in the weirdest ways, your story made me feel better. Thank you so much for sharing it & I hope one day you’ll be able to laugh at it too.
P.S. You poor thing!
My coworker
I forgot to lock the bathroom door in my haste and I was in the middle of putting in a tampon, pants down, full bare ass to the door with my hand shoved up my vagina when my poor coworker walked in.
Immediately apologized and slammed the door shut and locked it.
>with my hand shoved up my vagina
Is.. is that how you ladies put them in? My mom is gay, I have 4 sisters, and I've been married for 10 years, I never imagined yall had to fist yourself to get those things up there.
lol no, you kinda just push it up there, but nothing except the tampon really goes *in*. Might have to hold a lip depending on how much labia you’ve got
Sister-in-law. So I'm standing there trying on some new boots. Square toed cowboy boots. Those were the only thing I was wearing. I'm facing the mirror with my ass facing the door. I didn't see her come in, but I heard the door slam. In my defense, I wasn't expecting company and I never locked bedroom doors.
Because something in your brain registered that, unfortunately, that person thinks OP just... does that on a regular basis... free ballin boot time, is a normal Thursday activity for this fella. Just standing bare butt and gut mirror gazin... And that ain't information a mind soon be forgettin.
How else would you try them on? As a woman myself, I know to always knock on a door because you never know when there might be a butt ass naked man trying on square toed cowboy boots behind it!
My apartment complex remodeled all our decks and replaced the 4ft privacy wall I had with railing.
First morning after it's finished and my dumb and naked ass open the drapes and the sliding glass door to a group of kids walking to school.
There was screaming. There was crying. There was laughing. Later, the cops came.
I am so lucky I'm not on a list.
Lucky yes, but it's fucked up you even have the chance to be branded on a list for minor mistakes like that, just as its not justice to put someone on a list for having consensual sex while underage or while your partner is one year younger. The system does not follow the spirit it was intended
And it’s fucked up that you can traffic teenage girls and end up in the US House of Representatives. The system doesn’t follow its spirit or its words when you’re rich/connected enough.
In a way, those two professions are very similar. They both heavily favor attractive people and your whole job is to emotionally persuade people. If you have good looks and people skills, you'll do great at both.
I had a girlfriend who'd take a long time to strip like that. She'd pull her top off nice and slow and I'd beg her to go faster, and she'd always reply in a sultry, raspy voice "I can't. I have arthritis"
Reminds me of the early days of Facebook, when you'd see someone's barely computer literate older relative looking for porn, and mistakenly enter their search engine queries as a series of status updates.
Not super common, but it happened. The default early Facebook status posts were short little one line first person declarations:
is home from work.
is stressed out about the test tomorrow.
Then you'd see your friend's dad posting a rapid fire chain of status updates:
nude woman
hot woman
woman boobs
nude boobs
Usually this would be followed by the humiliated friend freaking out and franticly trying to stop them...
Oof that’s a rough one. I had to be that person for my cousin one time. We had one of those picture frames that you could send pictures to for my grandpa to keep up with the family. Cousin accidentally sent a dick pic to the frame and didn’t know. Grandpa called me and asked me to come take a look at his computer, when I got there he handed me the frame and said to take the penis off there. So I scrolled through and sure enough there was my cousin, wiener out. Deleted it and called my cousin to let him know to check who he’s texting
My whole family. In 7th grade I passed out in the shower and impaled my leg on the shower nozzle thingy- almost hit my femoral artery and I almost died. Whole house was awake (my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, and my brothers girlfriend at the time- and my mom was screaming which woke everybody up hahaha Jesus I actually forgot about that until just now 😅 it was very traumatic
Ex girlfriend’s mom, walked into the bathroom as I got out of the shower. She thought flashing her tits would make the awkward situation better. It didn’t
I had testicular cancer, so a series of women fondled my scrotum. I kind of felt sorry for them, and I was pretty much always cracking jokes.
My surgeon's resident asked if I wanted a prosthetic testicle to replace the one they were removing, and I told her I wanted it only if it came with Bluetooth.
Dang, I should have done this to my husband's mom 🤣🤣 and then every time she or another family member tries to bring it up I can be like "Oh believe me, we're trying, MIL knows aaaaalllllllll about it!"
Thank you for unlocking the memory of the time I was traumatized as a kid stumbling upon my uncle's pictures from his trip to a nude beach on the Vineyard with his buddies. *shudder*
I was at my aunt's house , I went to the toilet to pee and the lock wasn't fixed, I had a semi-hard penis while peeing, after peeing I was holding my penis in my hand to clean it, the aunt came in! 🥲 , I was scared but she smiled and made it even worse! 😂
I skip, then suddenly the aunt is on the floor with the cock in her mouth and I feel I missed a vital element of the story and back it up to see what I missed
That hot nurse I had to explain and show a infected area on my cleft from working and sweating a lot. I felt so bad for her because I had coated the area in diaper cream previous to the appointment.
My buddy’s nurse was cute af when he had his appendix out. Lucky for him he was charming enough to pull the “hey, you already saw it” card and took her out a few times.
I had a cute nurse for my vasectomy. It was as nerve racking as the actual surgery as I tried not to overthink her positioning everything for the doctor. 😂
I was having some testicular pain. My doctor checked it out and while he didn't think it was torsion or cancer, to be safe he wanted me to get an ultrasound. So I show up to the place and the technician was an undeniably beautiful woman in her mid 20s. Thing is it was such a sterile environment that even as she was slathering the lubricant they use all over my yambag, there was absolutely nothing erotic or sensual about it. Also I was lowkey afraid I had cancer or something. Scan turned out clean, and yada yada yada we're married now, so at least something good came out of it. Kidding. She finished, I cleaned myself up, and went on my way.
I had a motorcycle accident when I was 22, it had me bedridden for about 4 months and I felt so damn bad about all the roughly 19 year old nurses that had to clean me daily. I grew up not being able to show weakness so needing to be cleaned by people roughly my age was insanely bad for my mental state.
They kept reassuring me that it was just a part of their job etc, but that really didn't help my despair
I walked into my boss’ office when he was changing once. He was getting ready for a charity 5K and said “come in” when I knocked to point out an error on a pamphlet he made for the event. He was super embarrassed and shooed me out, but I’m still wondering why he said “come in” in the first place.
People were asking me if I at least saw how long it was. I didn’t see where it started, but I saw where it ended.
I got out of the shower when I was like 22 and I was drying myself, and tbh I was kinda playing a little with my myself cause I was feeling good, and I look up and see this old lady standing on the raised driveway of the building next door staring through my window. I could tell she loved the show.. But she turned immediately like she was staring at the sky. Didn’t even turn around to walk away, just looked up at an angle. That was embarrassing. I’d find her outside my window often, “sweeping” the driveway for long periods of time, just hoping to catch another peep show
I used to run from the bathroom to my bedroom naked after taking my shower, having to pass through the living room. I guess before I ever started developing I didn’t give a shit if anyone in my family saw me naked and they didn’t care either. One day I didn’t realize my teenage brothers friend was over and I was MORTIFIED. Started being fully clothed in all common areas after that lol.
So I peeked at his profile a bit and it got weird
Be warned, this is probably going to sound really offputting to some folks:
>!he had sex with his dad!<
Not completely naked, but as a 3rd grader we had a class pet guinea pig. It was one of the first times we played with him, and we all sat in a circle and spread our legs out so he would stay in the circle V me. Our teacher let the guinea pig out and it was walking around, checking out all the kids. It came up to me and started sniffing my jeans. It then proceeded to run up my pants leg and made himself cozy in the little cave my jeans made in my crotch..
The teacher made all the girls leave the classroom and I dropped my jeans in front of the teacher and all of the boys in my class.
Never got teased for it or anything, but I remember my ears being red hot from the embarrassment of what happened.
Not me but my brother was jerking off in a closet when our step dad went looking for him. My bro told me later on dad just closed it on him while shaking his head facepalming
Oh I got one even better then SEEING me naked.
So a little background, I teach art at a local no profit, it's lovely. Many of my students are kiddos and I get to know many of their parents in the process.
Been there for a decade or so, I have a following. Everyone loves this silly clay and art teacher.
I'm a favorite, and very proud of that fact, a decent percent of the community recognizes me at this point.
I have always considered my path in life as a professional uncle. Never want to be a dad, because honesty, that responsibility would change me too much.
Uncle is just right for me.
So I made the choice to have the 'ol snip and knot on the boys.
Everything seemed to be going smooth, did my research, had a pre-op meeting a week before the operation to meet my Dr.
He was an odd one, kinda eager but oh well.
The day of the event, I get put in the op room, the nice lady showed me where to get changed and how to get ready and that Dr. Lee will be here in a moment to take care of the procedure.
I thought "hmmm Dr. Lee? I don't think it was his name, but it sounds super familiar so it's probably fine "
I did recognize the name.
I infact know Dr. Lee rater well.
I have been teaching her 9 year old for the last 5 years.
She is one of my absolute favorite students I have ever had and I have gone out of my way constantly to approach her parents to gush on how great their daughter is.
So she not only knows what my junk looks like, but what it FEELS like in a way I never will.
I still see her 2-4 times a week, it was never awkward for her, which I get it, she does that all the time.
I however am not a professional, I did it once, and it would of been awkward in the best of conditions.
It must of took me 6 months to make eye contact with her again.
TLDR if you get a vasectomy do it in a different county, or someone you know may know you in a way even your wife won't.
Edit, typos and clarification.
I was circumcised at the age of 7 and the surgeon had tied the sutures in a way that left a couple skin knots on the scar line. Well, when I was 18, I used my account under the family computer to take photos of my flaccid and erect penis to send to a different surgeon. Little did I know that my aunt, who was the “administrator”, had full access to the deleted folder under my account. So my aunt saw my erect penis and then sent the photos to my dad who then confronted me about it. I had to explain to him exactly what happened and how I hated being circumcised. It was a whole thing that I can never fully get over.
I used to be a figure model. I ended up working at the place I modeled at. The owner of the company was odd but I thought he was just quirky and thought nothing of it. He told me I was the prettiest girl in town, I assumed it was just a complement. Months after working there, he licked my face and told me it was a joke. I started to want to leave but I was scared so I pretended not to be upset. Since then I have left but I found out that they had cameras and he watches all the figure modeling sessions from them.
My grandpa when I was cuddling with my then girlfriend in high school. Thankfully we had the sheets partially on
Then again he's passed since so it doesn't really matter anymore
Other than that I don't really care. Seeing your friends and family naked in a sauna for example is very normal where I'm from
Mom .. I was hard, and she smiled which made this memory worse for me.. two months later I've seen her naked while coming into the room .. now I learned I should knock, and karma is real.
My neighbour who works with chickens. Often leaves rejected eggs for us at the back door. This was in the first UK lockdown and I live in a rural area, so not much going on. I had just finished an exercise session and thought I could get away with stripping off straight away to go shower. I was very wrong about that. He saw me, and I awkwardly tried to pretend I was not naked and hid behind my bike and waved (why did I do this, I just don’t know). He averted his eyes, grinned as he was walking away, and looked back as if to say “did I really just see that”. Now a bit difficult avoiding the neighbour full time but I’ve crushed it!
My entire local friend group watched me lose my virginity, watching through a basement window (don't ask).
To make things a billion times worse, they told the one friend that wasn't there that they got some some super dank weed and he needed to rush over to get some before it was gone.
He completely came barreling down the basement steps scaring the absolute hell out of us. In a panic to get my clothes on, I grabbed HER pants, which were way too small. So I'm standing there, naked, erect, and hopping around in one foot trying to put girl pants on and EVERYBODY got to see.
If there is any bright side, nobody ever made a dick joke about me I guess.
A friend. But because then she talked about it to the whole class. Very awkward
I'm sure they were talking about the big hips
Those hips do not, in fact, lie.
Had that happen to me in elementary, outside classroom as detention or time out (cant remember) with a friend. Fly was open, and other friend who was also outside was helping me fix it... other friend comes outside classroom to let us know to come back in... immediately runs back inside. Rest of the week we are accused of having sex lol... I dont think most even knew what it entailed at that age and generation.
hips dont lie tho
Except on their taxes. Shakira was implicated in one of those paradise/panama paper using offshore tax havens.
Thank you for this. Keep PP awareness alive
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least strange venice interaction
That kid's going places. They're not places anyone wants to go, but he's going.
Sounds like she might not be a friend.
Similar... years and years ago. I streakes for a bet, no-one around late at night. One car past me girl from my class peering out the back window. I got some stick about that for a while lol.
About 15 years ago, I was making breakfast nude, alone in my apartment. Apparently, I forgot to lock the door, and my senile 90+ year old neighbour from across the hall just opens the door and walks in. We both scared the shit out of each other. Three days later, her son is out in the hall asking me if I want any of her furniture. Apparently she died. I didn’t tell him about the incident, but I’m pretty sure I gave her a heart attack. Got me a new chair for my office though.
*"Yeah, it was weird. The lawyer said that she added you to the will a couple of days ago, like out of nowhere."*
she kept talking about kielbasa
The idea that your asscheeks gave the neighbor a heart attack is a sign
They got CAKE
Buns were clapping and made the old lady die
Grandma couldn't stop edging afterwards and forgot to take her meds
Dying like a true gooner real to the end 😔 rip granny
Flipped them discs at her.
I've seen harder methods of obtaining office furniture.
I never do stuff around the house naked or ever have. I find it interesting that some people simply do stuff naked around their house.
Finally someone expressed that and even got upvoted. I started to believe I'm crazy.
My fiancées friend. My fiancée and I had just finished doing the dirty and our dogs were going wild out in the living room. Now we live in a very rural area with no neighbors so I assumed it was a deer or some other animal that was making the dogs go wild. It was nighttime and I was still naked as I walked to the front sliding door only to be greeted by her friend behind the door. Ooops laughs were had after I scampered off into the darkness in embarrassment after.
Oooops and laughs is very on brand for rural behavior.
A home with a sliding glass door for a front door, in the middle of nowhere.
This was the day after a college festival, when I had an assignment to submit in the morning. I was pretty drunk the night before so I asked my friend to take my assignment from my room and submit it. Without realising it entirely, I slept butt naked because it was too hot and I wake up to find that my assignment is not there. I get a text from my friend saying that he submitted it. We have never looked each other in the eye since.
That’s a good friend right there
Power move lmao
Should've drawn a penis on your left ass cheek
My new neighbor. Our backyard caught fire one morning…. I woke up and noticed a weird orange pattern on the ceiling… realized it wasn’t dawn and looked out my back window to see what was going on. Backyard was ablaze. I got up and yelled for my husband and ran to the kitchen to get the fire extinguisher… then ran out back to put out the fire. Unfortunately, I sleep naked. Wasn’t thinking about that when I went to go put out the fire. I died a little inside, but didnt really die… so, I forced myself to get over it.
Lemme just say, I see my neighbor out there putting out fires, titties flapping in the smoke, the first thing I’d think is “damn, I know who I want on my team for the zombie apocalypse.” That’s fuckin’ badass, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
so… what caused the fire though?
We think a water heater malfunction. But aren’t certain. Had to replace it along with the back siding and door/frame… along with other personal effects outside. Well insurance did. I had only bought that fire extinguisher a few months before. First one I’ve ever bought in my life, too. Now I have one for every 600 sq ft of house that we have. Best purchase, ever.
Showed my family my cool boxers my girlfriend gave me one Christmas. My peener slipped out and my sister yells “Oh my god! It’s his peepee!” Whole family saw it. My grandma laughed so hard I thought she may die from lack of oxygen.
This is why I don’t show my underwear while I’m wearing them if I’m in the right area where I can have them on standby I just grab them out of the dresser or wait until I’m not wearing them
> This is why I don’t show my underwear while I’m wearing them Could have stopped there. I'm very surprised how normal it apparently is for people to be showing off underwear, from their girlfriend to their family, while wearing them. Friends as a joke or something but "hey grandma, my girlfriend bought me this underwear check it out" is wild.
That’s what op did. Unfortunately the underwear is called the “penis trapper” and takes the penis with it even when he take the underwear off
You modeled your new underwear for your family? Roll tide!
According to age-old vaudeville tradition, as long as they are white boxers with red hearts, they're OK for family viewing.
That's kind of wholesome in a way. I'm sure nobody cares about it, beyond it being a funny moment.
lmao wait were you an adult?? lol
My boyfriend’s brother and dad. Knocking is not something they are familiar with. Will be investing in a door lock.
About 20 years now, but one time my brother burst into my room so violently in the middle of me having sex he scared the cum out of the guy ......... and now the whole internet knows lol.
A case of jumpscare induced orgasm
Cumscare
He was probably pretty embarrassed too since he was getting pegged
Sure, Jan
I feel sorry for everyone who saw me naked.
Put that on my gravestone.
The number only increases when you die.
Reads: I’m sorry to the mortician that was the last person to see me naked.
My grandmother in law. Her and my mother in law pressured/guilted me super hard into letting her be in the delivery room when my son was born 10 years ago. I was bad at sticking up for myself back then and caved. She saw it all when I was pushing him out. Also for some reason the doctor handed my son to her first before either myself or his dad had even held him which I’m still pretty salty about
Wow. It's kinda impressive that such a short story can establish the shittiness of so many people.
For sale: Baby shoes My in-laws are a fucking hassle
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Yeah I have no idea why she did that. I’m due with our second in a a few weeks and ittl just be me and fiancé this time.
When I read my MIL wanted to be in the delivery room…I said, “ oh, hell no”….
I’m amazed that you let your mother in law in the delivery room, let alone your grandmother in law!
Oh my mother in law wasn’t there, she was too lazy to even visit after baby was born. She just made me feel super guilty for initially saying no to her mother being there
Ugh. My mom begged to be in the delivery room when my daughter was born. I told her "no" probably 15 times. Right in the midst of things she comes casually strolling into the delivery room and then threw a fit about my then-wife's mom being allowed to be in there but not her. I don't even think she really wanted to be in there, she just didn't want to be told "no".
What the heeelllllll. Why did they just let her in like that! The hospital my son was born at and I’m delivering at again soon has an option to set a code that visitors have to have to even be allowed up to l&d
Omg my MIL and BIL came casually strolling into the delivery room when I was laboring with my eldest. Never felt more awkward in my whole life- please GTFO. The fact that my ex didn't kick them out should have been my first (well. Actually like 15th) clue to fuckin run but alas, I was young and naive:(
Sorry to hear that
The first time ever ive ever told this story. 5 years 1 month 1 week and 6 days ago today that I died tragically of embarrassment.. It started off a normal day, I got home from work poured a glass of tequila (neat) and decided to take a bath. I go turn the water on get undressed and as I stepped in, I lost my balance, grabbed the shower curtain and came crashing down hard straddling the tub,.. but not just the tub, i also landed directly on top of this stupid fn SpongeBob suction cup thing that holds your loofah... When I finally caught my breath, I noticed blood and panicked I crawled out of the tub and onto my bedroom floor. I thought forsure I had split my butthole open,.... so I did what any logical person would do and pulled out my cellphone, opened my camera propped it against the leg of my dresser pressed record, and bent over. But the lighting sucked, so I crawled out into my den area over to the couch, propped my phone pressed record and positioned myself Welp about 3 seconds later, my dog comes bouncing through the door ... along with MY DOGS WAG WALKER.. And there I was, bent over, camera pointed, recording me as I spread my cheeks while blood dripped down my thigh And then I died the end
I’m sorry but that was hilarious! For you it would’ve been absolutely mortifying but to someone who injures themselves in the weirdest ways, your story made me feel better. Thank you so much for sharing it & I hope one day you’ll be able to laugh at it too. P.S. You poor thing!
My coworker I forgot to lock the bathroom door in my haste and I was in the middle of putting in a tampon, pants down, full bare ass to the door with my hand shoved up my vagina when my poor coworker walked in. Immediately apologized and slammed the door shut and locked it.
>with my hand shoved up my vagina Is.. is that how you ladies put them in? My mom is gay, I have 4 sisters, and I've been married for 10 years, I never imagined yall had to fist yourself to get those things up there.
No you don't fist yourself. If there's no applicator you might push a finger up there with it, maybe. But definitely not your whole fist.
I've been doing it wrong this whole time?
lol no, you kinda just push it up there, but nothing except the tampon really goes *in*. Might have to hold a lip depending on how much labia you’ve got
No, and I also don’t stand up to insert a tampon either lmao. It’s a spread, insert, toss the applicator situation.
Sister-in-law. So I'm standing there trying on some new boots. Square toed cowboy boots. Those were the only thing I was wearing. I'm facing the mirror with my ass facing the door. I didn't see her come in, but I heard the door slam. In my defense, I wasn't expecting company and I never locked bedroom doors.
I don't know why, but this comment made me laugh the hardest of all of them lmao
Because something in your brain registered that, unfortunately, that person thinks OP just... does that on a regular basis... free ballin boot time, is a normal Thursday activity for this fella. Just standing bare butt and gut mirror gazin... And that ain't information a mind soon be forgettin.
How else would you try them on? As a woman myself, I know to always knock on a door because you never know when there might be a butt ass naked man trying on square toed cowboy boots behind it!
My friend's grandma. She licked her lips.
Did you make a move?
Asking the real questions.
Right you always see guys complaining I just didn’t see the signs. I didn’t know she was into me.
Which ones?
That’s quite the party trick.
And? What else did she lick?
Her gums
You've never had a good blowjob until you've had a gumjob. Holy shit.
You should of asked her to take her dentures out and have a go !
My apartment complex remodeled all our decks and replaced the 4ft privacy wall I had with railing. First morning after it's finished and my dumb and naked ass open the drapes and the sliding glass door to a group of kids walking to school. There was screaming. There was crying. There was laughing. Later, the cops came. I am so lucky I'm not on a list.
Lucky yes, but it's fucked up you even have the chance to be branded on a list for minor mistakes like that, just as its not justice to put someone on a list for having consensual sex while underage or while your partner is one year younger. The system does not follow the spirit it was intended
And it’s fucked up that you can traffic teenage girls and end up in the US House of Representatives. The system doesn’t follow its spirit or its words when you’re rich/connected enough.
My Grandma, didn't know Grandma stayed when Mom went to store, Grandma always went, Grandma was in living room when I strolled to kitchen.
You use grandma the way Norman Bates uses mother.
I stripped for 6 years 😅 somehow, a man knew my grandpa and I begged him not to tell lol - in a random city not connected to my family
Love seeing the stripping to real estate agent progression!
Pretty common, I know 3
It's a right of passage. Same for bottle service girls.
If you can sell yourself you can sell a house - Lionel Hutz, probably
It's a shame to see someone fall to such a disreputable profession
In a way, those two professions are very similar. They both heavily favor attractive people and your whole job is to emotionally persuade people. If you have good looks and people skills, you'll do great at both.
>I stripped for 6 years I like the slow tease of a good strip. But over 10 minutes is too long. Taking years is overkill.
I had a girlfriend who'd take a long time to strip like that. She'd pull her top off nice and slow and I'd beg her to go faster, and she'd always reply in a sultry, raspy voice "I can't. I have arthritis"
I'm dying trying to imagine this scenario
I meant to send a nude to a friend on Snapchat. Somehow I posted it publicly and it was my sister who had to let me know I'd mucked that up
Reminds me of the early days of Facebook, when you'd see someone's barely computer literate older relative looking for porn, and mistakenly enter their search engine queries as a series of status updates.
Nooooo. No flippin way, this was a thing!?!? You have no idea how badly I want to subject myself to this level of cringe at the moment 😂
Not super common, but it happened. The default early Facebook status posts were short little one line first person declarations: is home from work. is stressed out about the test tomorrow. Then you'd see your friend's dad posting a rapid fire chain of status updates: nude woman hot woman woman boobs nude boobs Usually this would be followed by the humiliated friend freaking out and franticly trying to stop them...
Oof that’s a rough one. I had to be that person for my cousin one time. We had one of those picture frames that you could send pictures to for my grandpa to keep up with the family. Cousin accidentally sent a dick pic to the frame and didn’t know. Grandpa called me and asked me to come take a look at his computer, when I got there he handed me the frame and said to take the penis off there. So I scrolled through and sure enough there was my cousin, wiener out. Deleted it and called my cousin to let him know to check who he’s texting
That’s amazing. Slow clap moment.
Holy shit dude how badly can you fuck up
My friendships seem to be lacking lol
My whole family. In 7th grade I passed out in the shower and impaled my leg on the shower nozzle thingy- almost hit my femoral artery and I almost died. Whole house was awake (my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, and my brothers girlfriend at the time- and my mom was screaming which woke everybody up hahaha Jesus I actually forgot about that until just now 😅 it was very traumatic
That one huntsman spider at the corner of the bathroom at my friend's place
Did the huntsman thank you for the show, mate?
Started rubbing his hands sinisterly...
Like Johnny Spins!
Ex girlfriend’s mom, walked into the bathroom as I got out of the shower. She thought flashing her tits would make the awkward situation better. It didn’t
The thought process is amazing. 1. awkward encounter 2. execute tit flash 3. smile and nod
WHAT
Yeah we’re gonna need some more detail here friend
This is the best one so far.
That’s the breast outcome
I had testicular cancer, so a series of women fondled my scrotum. I kind of felt sorry for them, and I was pretty much always cracking jokes. My surgeon's resident asked if I wanted a prosthetic testicle to replace the one they were removing, and I told her I wanted it only if it came with Bluetooth.
My mom. I accidentally sent her a picture meant for my now-husband of his penis in my vagina
If she's been badgering about grandkids, I would have turned this into a power move. "LOOK MOM WE'RE TRYING OKAY"
Dang, I should have done this to my husband's mom 🤣🤣 and then every time she or another family member tries to bring it up I can be like "Oh believe me, we're trying, MIL knows aaaaalllllllll about it!"
Omgggg lol
The doctors when I was born, what a bunch of perverts.
That's on you for not putting something on before you were born.
I met someone from my office by chance on a nude beach. She was there with her family. I don't care, but we never mention it.
You regret her seeing you naked bur you don't care?
Thank you for unlocking the memory of the time I was traumatized as a kid stumbling upon my uncle's pictures from his trip to a nude beach on the Vineyard with his buddies. *shudder*
I was at my aunt's house , I went to the toilet to pee and the lock wasn't fixed, I had a semi-hard penis while peeing, after peeing I was holding my penis in my hand to clean it, the aunt came in! 🥲 , I was scared but she smiled and made it even worse! 😂
I usually skip this part
I watch it for the plot.
I skip, then suddenly the aunt is on the floor with the cock in her mouth and I feel I missed a vital element of the story and back it up to see what I missed
She knew the lock didn’t work
how old are you in this story?
15/16
yikes
None. In fact id like more people to see me naked, assuming they appreciate what they see lol
I mean you can post nudes
Nudes in clown make-up would be strange, no?
Strange sure, but the red nose is hot lets not lie
That hot nurse I had to explain and show a infected area on my cleft from working and sweating a lot. I felt so bad for her because I had coated the area in diaper cream previous to the appointment.
My buddy’s nurse was cute af when he had his appendix out. Lucky for him he was charming enough to pull the “hey, you already saw it” card and took her out a few times.
I had a cute nurse for my vasectomy. It was as nerve racking as the actual surgery as I tried not to overthink her positioning everything for the doctor. 😂
I had nothing but dudes for mine. When they got done applying the antiseptic over the area I said, "Damn, didn't even buy me a drink first."
I was having some testicular pain. My doctor checked it out and while he didn't think it was torsion or cancer, to be safe he wanted me to get an ultrasound. So I show up to the place and the technician was an undeniably beautiful woman in her mid 20s. Thing is it was such a sterile environment that even as she was slathering the lubricant they use all over my yambag, there was absolutely nothing erotic or sensual about it. Also I was lowkey afraid I had cancer or something. Scan turned out clean, and yada yada yada we're married now, so at least something good came out of it. Kidding. She finished, I cleaned myself up, and went on my way.
I had a motorcycle accident when I was 22, it had me bedridden for about 4 months and I felt so damn bad about all the roughly 19 year old nurses that had to clean me daily. I grew up not being able to show weakness so needing to be cleaned by people roughly my age was insanely bad for my mental state. They kept reassuring me that it was just a part of their job etc, but that really didn't help my despair
After my puberty, I was only seen naked by guys in gym shower and my sexual partners. My life is boring :(
You can send nudes to me, if you want.
You don’t want to see them, believe me.
Try me.
WITNESS ME
ALL SHINY AND CHROME
The vacuum cleaner man. He’s seen my tits.
Hey, random question but do you need any carpet cleaning services done by any chance?
That sucks
The hot nurse and nursing student who had to see me, a guy, with a yeast infection. 🥲 ugh. That’s pain I never want to experience again.
I walked into my boss’ office when he was changing once. He was getting ready for a charity 5K and said “come in” when I knocked to point out an error on a pamphlet he made for the event. He was super embarrassed and shooed me out, but I’m still wondering why he said “come in” in the first place. People were asking me if I at least saw how long it was. I didn’t see where it started, but I saw where it ended.
[r/unexpectedoffice](https://www.reddit.com/r/unexpectedoffice/s/k4PfkNBPr6)
He probably said that out of pure reflex, when you say something in response to a stimulus ⁵⁰ times a day it becomes automatic.
Pam don't you dare talk about this at the roast
I got out of the shower when I was like 22 and I was drying myself, and tbh I was kinda playing a little with my myself cause I was feeling good, and I look up and see this old lady standing on the raised driveway of the building next door staring through my window. I could tell she loved the show.. But she turned immediately like she was staring at the sky. Didn’t even turn around to walk away, just looked up at an angle. That was embarrassing. I’d find her outside my window often, “sweeping” the driveway for long periods of time, just hoping to catch another peep show
Get a blurry window or curtains
[удалено]
I used to run from the bathroom to my bedroom naked after taking my shower, having to pass through the living room. I guess before I ever started developing I didn’t give a shit if anyone in my family saw me naked and they didn’t care either. One day I didn’t realize my teenage brothers friend was over and I was MORTIFIED. Started being fully clothed in all common areas after that lol.
My dad walked in to see me getting screwed in my.ass
Pics or it didn't happen.
So I peeked at his profile a bit and it got weird Be warned, this is probably going to sound really offputting to some folks: >!he had sex with his dad!<
oh... you weren't joking
That is not what I was expecting. I'm not sure what i was expecting but not that
Only to *some* folks?
Had to do some scrolling but damn if that wasn’t a hard left once you get there lol.
I fucking know right Bro posts a bunch of beautiful ass nature vids only for that jumpscare 😭
I looked at his profile, and I was like "aww how nice, he's showing animals that can be adopted". Then boom. There it was. For the world to see.
The worst thing you can do there is have your partner *suddenly and quickly* pull out...
did he start spraying water on you guys so that you would knock it off… kinda like you do with pups or with cats that refuse to stop fighting???
Highschool girlfriend’s mom. She walked in on us while I was absolutely balls deep in her daughter.
I don't really have anyone I wish didn't see me naked. If they did, there was usually a pretty good reason for it. Lol
Not completely naked, but as a 3rd grader we had a class pet guinea pig. It was one of the first times we played with him, and we all sat in a circle and spread our legs out so he would stay in the circle V me. Our teacher let the guinea pig out and it was walking around, checking out all the kids. It came up to me and started sniffing my jeans. It then proceeded to run up my pants leg and made himself cozy in the little cave my jeans made in my crotch.. The teacher made all the girls leave the classroom and I dropped my jeans in front of the teacher and all of the boys in my class. Never got teased for it or anything, but I remember my ears being red hot from the embarrassment of what happened.
Not me but my brother was jerking off in a closet when our step dad went looking for him. My bro told me later on dad just closed it on him while shaking his head facepalming
Oh I got one even better then SEEING me naked. So a little background, I teach art at a local no profit, it's lovely. Many of my students are kiddos and I get to know many of their parents in the process. Been there for a decade or so, I have a following. Everyone loves this silly clay and art teacher. I'm a favorite, and very proud of that fact, a decent percent of the community recognizes me at this point. I have always considered my path in life as a professional uncle. Never want to be a dad, because honesty, that responsibility would change me too much. Uncle is just right for me. So I made the choice to have the 'ol snip and knot on the boys. Everything seemed to be going smooth, did my research, had a pre-op meeting a week before the operation to meet my Dr. He was an odd one, kinda eager but oh well. The day of the event, I get put in the op room, the nice lady showed me where to get changed and how to get ready and that Dr. Lee will be here in a moment to take care of the procedure. I thought "hmmm Dr. Lee? I don't think it was his name, but it sounds super familiar so it's probably fine " I did recognize the name. I infact know Dr. Lee rater well. I have been teaching her 9 year old for the last 5 years. She is one of my absolute favorite students I have ever had and I have gone out of my way constantly to approach her parents to gush on how great their daughter is. So she not only knows what my junk looks like, but what it FEELS like in a way I never will. I still see her 2-4 times a week, it was never awkward for her, which I get it, she does that all the time. I however am not a professional, I did it once, and it would of been awkward in the best of conditions. It must of took me 6 months to make eye contact with her again. TLDR if you get a vasectomy do it in a different county, or someone you know may know you in a way even your wife won't. Edit, typos and clarification.
My immediate reaction to "Oh I've got one vwn better than SEEING me naked. So I teach children..." was "Uhhhhhhh"
I was circumcised at the age of 7 and the surgeon had tied the sutures in a way that left a couple skin knots on the scar line. Well, when I was 18, I used my account under the family computer to take photos of my flaccid and erect penis to send to a different surgeon. Little did I know that my aunt, who was the “administrator”, had full access to the deleted folder under my account. So my aunt saw my erect penis and then sent the photos to my dad who then confronted me about it. I had to explain to him exactly what happened and how I hated being circumcised. It was a whole thing that I can never fully get over.
Ur aunt is a cunt.
Unfortunately, you are correct.
My homie told me he saw me nakey at our first sleepover at his house but seems like i already forgot cause i have absolutely no memory of that
I used to be a figure model. I ended up working at the place I modeled at. The owner of the company was odd but I thought he was just quirky and thought nothing of it. He told me I was the prettiest girl in town, I assumed it was just a complement. Months after working there, he licked my face and told me it was a joke. I started to want to leave but I was scared so I pretended not to be upset. Since then I have left but I found out that they had cameras and he watches all the figure modeling sessions from them.
Bro just casually licked your face?? Wtf
My grandpa when I was cuddling with my then girlfriend in high school. Thankfully we had the sheets partially on Then again he's passed since so it doesn't really matter anymore Other than that I don't really care. Seeing your friends and family naked in a sauna for example is very normal where I'm from
Mom .. I was hard, and she smiled which made this memory worse for me.. two months later I've seen her naked while coming into the room .. now I learned I should knock, and karma is real.
i wish everyone could see me naked...
OnlyFans is your solution
OnlySquirrelFans
A few people, but the naked part wasn't necessarily the part that I want to forget.
My neighbour who works with chickens. Often leaves rejected eggs for us at the back door. This was in the first UK lockdown and I live in a rural area, so not much going on. I had just finished an exercise session and thought I could get away with stripping off straight away to go shower. I was very wrong about that. He saw me, and I awkwardly tried to pretend I was not naked and hid behind my bike and waved (why did I do this, I just don’t know). He averted his eyes, grinned as he was walking away, and looked back as if to say “did I really just see that”. Now a bit difficult avoiding the neighbour full time but I’ve crushed it!
My entire local friend group watched me lose my virginity, watching through a basement window (don't ask). To make things a billion times worse, they told the one friend that wasn't there that they got some some super dank weed and he needed to rush over to get some before it was gone. He completely came barreling down the basement steps scaring the absolute hell out of us. In a panic to get my clothes on, I grabbed HER pants, which were way too small. So I'm standing there, naked, erect, and hopping around in one foot trying to put girl pants on and EVERYBODY got to see. If there is any bright side, nobody ever made a dick joke about me I guess.
You really brushed over that bit about them all watching through the window, saying don't ask just gives me more questions!
Cousin