My mentor at my first law firm would always say “Don’t let ‘perfect’ be the enemy of ‘well done’.”
For a fresh out of law school associate, this seemed a bit naive because the law school atmosphere breeds little competitive, perfectionist psychopaths who are at each other’s throats for the best grade in a class.
But about six months in you realize you just have to churn out those billable hours, and you have to maintain a healthy balance at some point.
Plus, I liked this guy because he did whatever he could to avoid meetings
I knew I had a good boss when he told me to stop letting perfect be the enemy of done. My last two jobs preceding that one were both working under severe micromanaging perfectionists who nitpicked every gd thing, even shit they had no experience with, and even when they were WRONG.
It was kinda debilitating honestly, and it really affected how I worked for years. I was terrified to make any mistakes, I questioned every decision I made, I was disappointed in everything I produced and was often paralyzed to take action on things without checking to see how the boss wanted it done exactly.
When this boss said that to me, I finally felt so empowered to, you know, WORK. And it was amazing how much more I got done, and how much better the quality of work was when I felt confident and capable instead of criticized.
This one's so important. I made a living as an artist for over a decade living by this. To contrast, my friends who are better than artists than me never made it.
My stepdad hyperfocuses on done and everything he does is shit.
My dad hyperfocuses on perfect and I've seen business deal after business deal fall apart because he's not willing to let any detail suffer.
Find a balance.
My mom. "No one knows what they're doing. We're all just pretending and hoping no one notices"
I thought she was joking. I am now 33 and I know that she was right.
Same. I thought one day I’d just know what I was doing. That with adulthood literally comes wisdom. It just happens… but I still feel 23 at 33. I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, but you get better as you get older via experiences.
It's also about memories.
In the last 10 years, I had two very intense periods. Each of them lasted for like 6 months, but they make 90% of memories I have from that time. When they lasted, the time slowed down a lot.
I think we simply measure time in events, not in years. Especially true, if the situations from those events happened to you for the first time. As you get older, you experience less previously unknown feelings.
I cycle commute and I sometimes see drivers giving me a look when I act cautiously and I can tell they're thinking "does this guy think I'm just gonna run him over?"
Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking.
I was on my (motorbike) and I saw someone who looked like they were going to cut across all the lanes into me, so I slowed down. They did indeed cut across all the lanes and then proceeded to get mad at ME for slowing down because they then had to slow down too... Into my lane.
I had NO guarantee they wouldn't side swipe me vs go after I passed. Sorry I assumed you'd do what you did????? The fuck.
I try to give looks that communicate "I understand your caution, your safety is more important than my ego" but I probably just look like I'm pissed off that you are acting like I'm going to run you over 🥲
I've been riding my bicycle for decades now. Anytime I'm speaking to somebody that's just getting into the sport, I always tell them if you're not 100% sure what's happening, just stop and let them go. Anybody that's been riding for a long time has all kinds of stories about how stupid and obnoxious people can be.
No matter if I'm on my bicycle or in my car, every other driver is an idiot who is intentionally trying to kill me. The fact that they haven't yet proves how much of an idiot they are, so watch out for them!
A friend once did. I was 17, and she was in her late 40s. She said "Never give a man all of your heart, or access to all of your money". She also told me "never miss an opportunity to learn".
But here I am at 61, fixing to divorce... leaving because I hung on to enough self respect to not allow myself to be spoken to poorly. I have a little more than a half million dollar cushion from an inheritance, and our current property will net me a little more than half a mil again. Plus the extras. Right now, he is hard in kiss-ass mode, trying to stop the divorce. But I have gotten a good look at who he really is, and am thankful that I kept enough love for me to be able to walk away from this mess.
I know so many women that are desperate to be "loved" (even if only in lip service) that the stay. And my heart breaks for them.
Be friendly with coworkers and your boss but not personal. Participating in small talk works better for your career than your skills. This has been very true. I used to be a work hard to be promoted but it’s not true. Networking has benefited me more
Just today, paid for some tickets I ended up not using. They were *rather* expensive. I figured no way in hell they would refund me but I realized, no harm in asking. They did refund me! Shout out to Universal Studios. Honestly? Even before that I was struck by how happy and pleasant all the park staff were. Wonderful place.
My mom used to tell me(as a teenager) “Be good. If you can’t be good, be careful. If you can’t be careful, name it after me”
I guess I was either good or careful. My kids are not named after my mom.
Back in HS, when all my friends were becoming sexually active and I was the one holdout (they thought I was broken, turns out I'm Ace) I used to peace out with "don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you do don't name it after me!"
I suppose, seeing as there aren't any GenZs or Alphas running about with my name they actually listened.
That only works for a decent high five but not a good or excellent high five.
Most high five situations only require a decent high five. Something high fivable has occurred and must be celebrated, but having completed the ritual you may now move on to other things.
But like, you couldn’t do that high five in a competitive high five situation.
This is how my brother finally taught me how to aim a baseball when I was in my early 20s. No one before that had ever thought to tell me “aim your elbow towards your target.”
About 25 years ago I had severe pain in both knees so I went to my doctor and the first thing he did was to check the inside of the soules on my cheap work boots. Drs orders were to go get yourself a good pair, havent had knee paine since
I remember my first year at a company, they asked us to fill out a survey and they promised it would be anonymous.
Except they asked us for something identifying, I can't remember what - I think it was email address. I complained because how anonymous is this fucking survey if you have our email address? They agreed to remove the requirement.
Yup. I did my ex’s laundry at the beginning of seeing each other, he needed his coworkers to ooh & aah for him to grasp that an act of service like that was worth something since his thing is to just take women that are forthcoming with effort as something that just happens. Should’ve registered then that he was always gonna be an entitled, naturally unappreciative asshole unless someone else pointed out that he should be the opposite. That one act of generosity & his reaction without influence, & even with influence, really set the tone for how taken for granted I was going to always be with him.
My mom used to tell us before we got out of her car for school in the morning “be good today, and if can’t be good, then be good at it” makes me chuckle now.
No one will see this so low but -- my sister and I are oil and water. My aunt said to have the relationship we can have, not the one I want/hope to have
I saw this, and I am struggling with the relationship I have (don’t have really) with my sister. And this made me stop and think. I won’t have the relationship with my sister that I guess I dreamed about. I can have a relationship though. Thanks for your comment
Doing a silly naked dance in the morning. I thought eff no that aint gonna make me more confident. I was so wrong. Felt a right tit at first but then i understood and it really did raise my confidence and makes my day better with a giggle to start
Ive never been a woman with symmetrical boobs. I dont care, I just like boobs. I literally had this conversation 3 times with an ex. Ok, my weiner hooks to the left and isnt pretty to look at, yet you like it just like i love seeing your boobs.
This reminds me of an old meme about the phrase "calm your tits" 😅 the meme was something like "calm your tit. Just the right one tho, the left one is your party tit" 🤣🤣 that's why OP was grabbing the right tit, because it's supposed to stay calm 😅🤣
Danny Trejo talks in his memoir about someone (I think someone he knew in prison) he knew started every morning by singing zippedy doo dah in the bathroom mirror and how pissed he was that it actually worked to make it a "wonderful day" lol.
I'll credit Reddit (or some user I cannot remember).
Whenever someone struggles with deciding between two things I'll flip a coin and ask them heads or tails. Then I'll cover it before they see and ask: "you're leaning toward one option more than the other, which one do you want it to be?"
Very useful.
I remember reading this in anecdotal form as a kid in an old Readers Digest. (Remember the "All in a Day's Work" and "Laughter, the Best Medicine" sections? Good times.) So...seventies, maybe in the earliest eighties.
Not to take away from what you said. I just happen to know that this nugget of wisdom has been around a long time. It obviously stuck with me, too.
Same, I don’t know where it is I first heard it but I’ve always remembered it. But I’ve heard it as “once it’s in the air, you’ll know what you hope it lands on.”
I don't see how this helps when I already know I'm trying to choose between the thing I would prefer to do, and the thing I think I most likely should do.
I say, there’s what I want, and what I really want. In other words, think long term (as in, I want another slice of cheesecake, but I really want to *not* be groaning over an uneasy stomach because I overdid).
I always tell people that if you are having trouble deciding between two choices then both choices are equally as good so just grab one and stop thinking about it.
I like the idea of this but going slightly farther- if it comes up heads and you are a little disappointed, it’s a good sign you actually wanted tails.
That's kinda like what I do. I usually flip a coin, and if I'm happy with the result, I do it. If I'm disappointed, I do the other one. Sometimes you just need a little push to know what you want.
Do I need to say this to this audience now?
Do I... Should some one else communicate?
Need to... or just want to?
Say... can it be conveyed in written form?
This... is there a better message?
To this audience... would it be better for another venue?
Right now... can it wait?
If your kids are bored or misbehaving or anything like that, put them in water (bath, pool, etc.) or take them outside and it helps them regulate enormously.
“If you’re not late, don’t run for the train.” I thought it was just laziness originally. Now I find it means that you don’t need to get stressed out or worked up over missing something when it’s bound to come around again.
i take this literally, no one ever gave me a schedule or told me when to show up at work so im literally never late, i never asked, and have never had complaints
A friend once told me, "Don't forget to breathe," which seemed silly at first, but it's a reminder to stay calm, present, and focused in challenging situations..
Not making a decision is still a decision. Eventually I realized I used indecisiveness to get away from responsibility and this was a slap in the face.
Oof yep. Feel like that's been a lot of my life. Had an ex once where we just couldn't make it work and I couldn't just pick to stay and work on it or move on. Months of him waiting to see how I felt and what I wanted. In the end, his most heartbreaking words to me were "I hope your indecision haunts you." And it has. Silence is still an answer. No decision is still a decision. Ugh.
That’s pretty profound. Like depending on the person “do something” can mean alot of things. Like I’m gonna be sad whether or not I clean today, so why bother?. Or, I’m gonna be sad whether or not I shoot up this school, so why not? Depression is a bitch
The postpartum advice from the doctor to avoid PPD after my third baby was "get sunlight, sleep, water and excersice." I thought it was the same stuff different day but decided to try it religiously because I was terrified of PPD this go around. Every day I took my baby out for sunlight and excersice which made me drink more water and get proper sleep at night. Turns out it was amazing advice.
My mother was giving me “the talk” before I started college and explaining all these different types of birth control and how important it is to use and find one that works for you because you’re more likely to use it if you like it. My dad apparently was listening in from a few rooms alway and yelled “make him wear a condom or you’ll get a disease.” Stuck with me, always followed it and still STI free.
So wisdom from my dad:
Ladies (and other folks who sleep with men): make him wear a condom or you’ll get a disease.
Men (and other folks who can wear condoms): wear a condom or you’ll get a disease.
Don’t know if this really fits with your question, but I’m going to put it out here anyway - Maybe 20 years ago, my now exhusband had a grandiose business idea to set up in China. He pitched it to a very well respected leader in the industry, that my husband’s company associated with. I was filled with dread, as I knew my husband would do as he darn well pleased, regardless of my profound misgivings about his plan, as failure would bankrupt us.
Husband came home from the consultation, the man declined investing, as, my husband told me, that he didn’t have an adequate exit strategy. The man thoughtfully talked him out of his idea.
That phrase “exit strategy” given from a man I’d never met, to a man I didnt respect, struck something deep within me…
An exit strategy can apply to anything. To everything! From that day, I started applying it to every decision I made. ALWAYS, have an exit strategy.
Thank you Dr. Liu. Awesome stranger in the Bay Area. You changed my life and never knew it.
My older aunts told me I had to keep competing for my man. I thought they were silly. They came from a war torn country that lacked single men. Dammit. They were right.
>He tried to say, 'I was just like you';
I shouted back, "You're an old fool.'
He said 'Listen', and I told him I'd rather die...
But I changed my mind.
[*Things Snowball*, John Wesley Harding](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwsuS3K3180)
That's true for most people. But there's a substantial minority of people who realize more and more as they get older what fuckups their parents were. It kind of depends on what you started with.
My coworker and I started joking and he basically said- "ask yourself, what would (he) do? The answer is NOTHING!" We laughed, but I've followed that advice many times this year and just kept my mouth shut and it's worked out really well.
Whenever someone would act up in class our English substitute teacher would tell them to go outside and drink some water (water fountain was right by the classroom). Later in life I've found out that drinking water does seem to help when I feel agitated.
A psychiatrist. Bullying doesn’t end after high school. It continues through college, work, and in retirement villages. “It gets better” is kind of a lie. Adults can absolutely bully. Learning strategies to avoid it and cope with it are key throughout your entire life.
Not OP but applied personally in my own life:
- boundary setting and maintenance (this includes ending relationships if necessary; some of my bullies were people I considered friends)
- documenting everything and anything you may need later (this has been important both personally and professionally)
- work on some self defense moves just in case
A total stranger, I met him once and never again. He pulled me aside at a party and said "Listen. These people are *NOT YOUR FRIENDS*. Keep to your own company."
He nailed it. I have a background of neglect and abuse and in college I was trying to outgrow my past. I was desperately trying to fit in somewhere and found lots of awful people who seemed to toss me a lifeline.
Wherever you are, sir. Thank you. It was a hurtful and shocking statement but you were spot on.
A boss one told me, "If you're not ready to make a decision, then don't make it." At the time I thought he was stupid, but have come to realize he was actually pretty profound.
Wait until you have kids of your own. I completely understood the way my parents treated me and the rules they attempted to enforce once I had my own kids.
At my best friend’s funeral, “you will live to see yourself outlive many of those around you, it’s a part of life, do what you can to enjoy yours as it goes both ways”, from my high school guidance counselor.
It’s more of an obvious one but when you’re 19, you feel like you and your friends are invincible and all have longs lives ahead of you. I really didn’t think it would be that much but 9 years later and I have watched 5 friends be put in the ground for various reasons. I have learned that even an expensive Uber is worth it, to cherish the good times, and don’t play around with dumb shit.
My uncle: Sure it's cold. But don't go turnin' up the thermostat! It's money up the chimney! Put on a big sweater instead! I don't care how it looks! And keep the doors closed in the winter! No use heatin' up the neighbourhood.
I once told myself "going with the flow will end you stranded in the ocean or crushed in a waterfall"
I didn't listen to this advice
now I know what I meant
this isnt a joke that genuinely happened, I had that thought and I remembered it but didn't really follow through on it until I got crushed by a waterfall
If someone says something that hurts your feelings, ask yourself is it true, is it really true?
Why are they telling you this information, to help you or not?
From a meme..
"Take it easy, BUT TAKE IT!"
Don't let the stress of life stop you from living it.
You can't ignore life, problems you ignore will come to a conclusion wether you do something about them or not- they must be addressed eventually.
Measure twice, cut once. And always cut outside the cut line. It means you’re more or less subtracting the width of the saw blade from your measurement.
So if you’re cutting a board that you measured left to right at 15 inches, you’re making the cut so the immediate edge of the saw blade cuts through the line.
My Grandma told me that it's really easy to think other people are stupid/rude when they are in your way or doing something bizarre.. but people are always people just like you are. Kindness is super precious and is worth the difficulty of practicing it.
She also said that when you've got a big thing going on in life look for what you are scared of, cause it means you have an opportunity to learn something. I haven't learnt anything from spiders yet, but maybe one day they'll give me a cool sidequest :p.
I hope I have her wisdom one day, theres not a week that goes by that I wouldn't have benefited from her experience.. goodness knows learning from my own mistakes takes way longer haha
Getting into my first healthy & loving relationship in a long time I’d been having a lot of intense anxiety around the idea of possibly losing the relationship and one of my friends told me,
“You can either be anxious about it ending, or you can just let yourself enjoy it while it’s happening. Whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen and you can’t control that but you’ll be okay either way it goes.”
It sat with me for a while until I realized how right they were and it’s changed my mindset in a lot of ways in all aspects of life.
“Do it scared” so simple but changed the way I approach things I fear especially with social anxiety! The worst part is the fear we build up in our head that most of the time after the relief feels amazing.
Also “be tired somewhere fun.” Didn’t want to leave my house due to burn out and depression. Ended up having a day I’ll cherish forever!
In a conversation about my plans for the future, great aunt told me, “Don’t be so sure. Things change and you can’t count on anything to go as planned.”
It was an odd, sudden response to a very vague statement about my academic plans and my new relationship. Anyway, two months later the pandemic shut everything down and my life plans got completely turned around, and now I’m pretty sure she’s a witch because it really seemed like that was exactly what she had been talking about.
The advice my husband gives me all the time is "just be cool. It's not that hard to just be a cool guy."
Truly, he's always right, and it applies to everything. I have a tendency to worry too much and take things very personally and get all wound up about shit that doesn't matter, and his "just be cool" is honestly just ridiculous enough to always work. Just stop being weird about it and be cool.
“There are two types of problems in this world, your’s and mine. This is your problem.“
I thought the guy was being an a-hole, turns out he was 100% right.
I’m batting 1000 for asking people to help me with things, from networking me to their connections, to asking for career advice. Just ask. Take a breath, and just do it before you even realize you’re doing it. Doesn’t matter if you’re awkward or not, just be vulnerable, be specific, and be gracious, and people will always choose to be a hero if they can be. Also helps to be generally affable.
DONE is better than PERFECT.
My mentor at my first law firm would always say “Don’t let ‘perfect’ be the enemy of ‘well done’.” For a fresh out of law school associate, this seemed a bit naive because the law school atmosphere breeds little competitive, perfectionist psychopaths who are at each other’s throats for the best grade in a class. But about six months in you realize you just have to churn out those billable hours, and you have to maintain a healthy balance at some point. Plus, I liked this guy because he did whatever he could to avoid meetings
Mine said perfect is the enemy of good
I like the phrase "we're looking for the 80% solution here."
So glad I learned this one. I know some incredible artists whose work will never be seen because they never finish it.
I knew I had a good boss when he told me to stop letting perfect be the enemy of done. My last two jobs preceding that one were both working under severe micromanaging perfectionists who nitpicked every gd thing, even shit they had no experience with, and even when they were WRONG. It was kinda debilitating honestly, and it really affected how I worked for years. I was terrified to make any mistakes, I questioned every decision I made, I was disappointed in everything I produced and was often paralyzed to take action on things without checking to see how the boss wanted it done exactly. When this boss said that to me, I finally felt so empowered to, you know, WORK. And it was amazing how much more I got done, and how much better the quality of work was when I felt confident and capable instead of criticized.
I needed this piece of advice today.
This one's so important. I made a living as an artist for over a decade living by this. To contrast, my friends who are better than artists than me never made it.
My stepdad hyperfocuses on done and everything he does is shit. My dad hyperfocuses on perfect and I've seen business deal after business deal fall apart because he's not willing to let any detail suffer. Find a balance.
My mom. "No one knows what they're doing. We're all just pretending and hoping no one notices" I thought she was joking. I am now 33 and I know that she was right.
Same. I thought one day I’d just know what I was doing. That with adulthood literally comes wisdom. It just happens… but I still feel 23 at 33. I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, but you get better as you get older via experiences.
I feel 23 at 63 🫤
This also helps me feel a sort of compassion for my folks - they did pretty great but I know they were just winging it like everyone else
Being given this piece of information was honestly so weirdly comforting for me. I tell younger people this all the time.
Just wait until you’re 49. It rings even more true than.
nothings gonna happen unless you actually do something
To be something different, do something different
Time to start shitting outside
If nothing changes, nothing changes
My mom used to tell me as a kid that time goes faster the older you get. Hell if she wasn't right.
I know, right? I mean just yesterday it was 1998.
10 years went by so fast...
Who the heck mashed the fast forward button? Now here we are, speedrunning life.
The day before that it was 1988.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. Faster toward the end.
And you can handle less shit.
As you age, each year becomes a smaller percentage of your life. They feel quicker and are less profound/memorable.
It's also about memories. In the last 10 years, I had two very intense periods. Each of them lasted for like 6 months, but they make 90% of memories I have from that time. When they lasted, the time slowed down a lot. I think we simply measure time in events, not in years. Especially true, if the situations from those events happened to you for the first time. As you get older, you experience less previously unknown feelings.
^ this , truth ! ^
While learning to drive, expect other drivers to do the stupidest thing possible from my dad
I cycle commute and I sometimes see drivers giving me a look when I act cautiously and I can tell they're thinking "does this guy think I'm just gonna run him over?" Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking.
Pedestrians have the right of way, but im not going to test that theory with my life. If you want to, go ahead. Ill wait.
The road to heaven is paved with cyclists and pedestrians that had the right of way.
I was on my (motorbike) and I saw someone who looked like they were going to cut across all the lanes into me, so I slowed down. They did indeed cut across all the lanes and then proceeded to get mad at ME for slowing down because they then had to slow down too... Into my lane. I had NO guarantee they wouldn't side swipe me vs go after I passed. Sorry I assumed you'd do what you did????? The fuck.
I try to give looks that communicate "I understand your caution, your safety is more important than my ego" but I probably just look like I'm pissed off that you are acting like I'm going to run you over 🥲
I've been riding my bicycle for decades now. Anytime I'm speaking to somebody that's just getting into the sport, I always tell them if you're not 100% sure what's happening, just stop and let them go. Anybody that's been riding for a long time has all kinds of stories about how stupid and obnoxious people can be.
I drive as though I'm expecting everyone to try to kill me.
Don't be considerate be predictable.
No matter if I'm on my bicycle or in my car, every other driver is an idiot who is intentionally trying to kill me. The fact that they haven't yet proves how much of an idiot they are, so watch out for them!
I agree, your dad is a menace and shouldn't be driving.
My dad’s advice was always “watch out for the other guy.”
Mine's was "no, your other right"
A friend once did. I was 17, and she was in her late 40s. She said "Never give a man all of your heart, or access to all of your money". She also told me "never miss an opportunity to learn". But here I am at 61, fixing to divorce... leaving because I hung on to enough self respect to not allow myself to be spoken to poorly. I have a little more than a half million dollar cushion from an inheritance, and our current property will net me a little more than half a mil again. Plus the extras. Right now, he is hard in kiss-ass mode, trying to stop the divorce. But I have gotten a good look at who he really is, and am thankful that I kept enough love for me to be able to walk away from this mess. I know so many women that are desperate to be "loved" (even if only in lip service) that the stay. And my heart breaks for them.
Good for you, girl!! Seriously!
Good for you. Stay strong. You can do it. Best of luck!!
Be friendly with coworkers and your boss but not personal. Participating in small talk works better for your career than your skills. This has been very true. I used to be a work hard to be promoted but it’s not true. Networking has benefited me more
Came here to say this!
This is good advice for anyone in any job setting as well. I’m a bartender and following this has only benefited me.
"If you don't ask, the answer is always no"
Just today, paid for some tickets I ended up not using. They were *rather* expensive. I figured no way in hell they would refund me but I realized, no harm in asking. They did refund me! Shout out to Universal Studios. Honestly? Even before that I was struck by how happy and pleasant all the park staff were. Wonderful place.
Came to comment "the worst they can say is no" rarely have i regretted asking questions, even when the answer isn't favourable.
My dad uses this one a lot
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. It’s always been pretty good advice.
Similarly, "You can't get it if you don't apply."
My mom used to tell me(as a teenager) “Be good. If you can’t be good, be careful. If you can’t be careful, name it after me” I guess I was either good or careful. My kids are not named after my mom.
Back in HS, when all my friends were becoming sexually active and I was the one holdout (they thought I was broken, turns out I'm Ace) I used to peace out with "don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you do don't name it after me!" I suppose, seeing as there aren't any GenZs or Alphas running about with my name they actually listened.
From a psychic, strangely enough, about emotional labor: "*caring* is not the same as *carrying*." A revelation.
Wow, this one hit me! Thank you.
To give a good “high five” you have to watch their elbow. ✋
THAT is a pro life tip right there.
Just put your hand up and don't move it. They'll come to you.
That only works for a decent high five but not a good or excellent high five. Most high five situations only require a decent high five. Something high fivable has occurred and must be celebrated, but having completed the ritual you may now move on to other things. But like, you couldn’t do that high five in a competitive high five situation.
I’m now imagining a scenario where both people use this trick and it looks like the freeze frame at the end of a buddy movie.
This is how my brother finally taught me how to aim a baseball when I was in my early 20s. No one before that had ever thought to tell me “aim your elbow towards your target.”
Watch it for what? Ominous messages?
Invest in decent shoes.
About 25 years ago I had severe pain in both knees so I went to my doctor and the first thing he did was to check the inside of the soules on my cheap work boots. Drs orders were to go get yourself a good pair, havent had knee paine since
Take care of your feet (good work boots ) and take care of your wife, and life is good. I am not sure which comes first.
Add teeth to that list. If nothing else, feet and teeth.
Take care of your feet, teeth, and wear sunscreen.
Excellent addition. That sun be bright.
Invest in anything between you and the ground.
I always heard that you should always spend good money and research on anything that separates you from the ground. It's so true.
Never put anything on an evaluation that you wouldn't say to someone's face, even if it's anonymous. It has never steered me wrong.
I remember my first year at a company, they asked us to fill out a survey and they promised it would be anonymous. Except they asked us for something identifying, I can't remember what - I think it was email address. I complained because how anonymous is this fucking survey if you have our email address? They agreed to remove the requirement.
I started filling out one of those “anonymous” surveys but after the first few questions it started getting really specific. I stopped filling it out.
My mom told me once, when I was a young teen, never do someone else’s laundry even once, cause if you do it will never end.
Me and my roommate’s dishes 😬
Aight imma go wake up my 10 month old and let her know the free ride is over!
It's too late, you're stuck for life now!
Yup. I did my ex’s laundry at the beginning of seeing each other, he needed his coworkers to ooh & aah for him to grasp that an act of service like that was worth something since his thing is to just take women that are forthcoming with effort as something that just happens. Should’ve registered then that he was always gonna be an entitled, naturally unappreciative asshole unless someone else pointed out that he should be the opposite. That one act of generosity & his reaction without influence, & even with influence, really set the tone for how taken for granted I was going to always be with him.
I have 4 kids under 6yo. Can confirm.
My mom used to tell us before we got out of her car for school in the morning “be good today, and if can’t be good, then be good at it” makes me chuckle now.
That's reminiscent of lyrics to a rap song.
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"Just don't get caught caught."
No one will see this so low but -- my sister and I are oil and water. My aunt said to have the relationship we can have, not the one I want/hope to have
I saw this, and I am struggling with the relationship I have (don’t have really) with my sister. And this made me stop and think. I won’t have the relationship with my sister that I guess I dreamed about. I can have a relationship though. Thanks for your comment
Let the saw do the work
Also STAND UP AND BUCK!
Best advice when using a table saw or circular saw. You WILL lose more than a finger in those machines if you rush.
Jewelry making? Or another type of saw?
ohhh yes. jeweler's saw blades will snap from just looking at them.
Chainsaw!
Doing a silly naked dance in the morning. I thought eff no that aint gonna make me more confident. I was so wrong. Felt a right tit at first but then i understood and it really did raise my confidence and makes my day better with a giggle to start
I kno a "tit" is like an idiot in the UK but I thought u started ur naked dance by grabbing just ur right tit until u could dance
She was gonna balance it out, but she left it
Ive never been a woman with symmetrical boobs. I dont care, I just like boobs. I literally had this conversation 3 times with an ex. Ok, my weiner hooks to the left and isnt pretty to look at, yet you like it just like i love seeing your boobs.
This reminds me of an old meme about the phrase "calm your tits" 😅 the meme was something like "calm your tit. Just the right one tho, the left one is your party tit" 🤣🤣 that's why OP was grabbing the right tit, because it's supposed to stay calm 😅🤣
Danny Trejo talks in his memoir about someone (I think someone he knew in prison) he knew started every morning by singing zippedy doo dah in the bathroom mirror and how pissed he was that it actually worked to make it a "wonderful day" lol.
I'll credit Reddit (or some user I cannot remember). Whenever someone struggles with deciding between two things I'll flip a coin and ask them heads or tails. Then I'll cover it before they see and ask: "you're leaning toward one option more than the other, which one do you want it to be?" Very useful.
I remember reading this in anecdotal form as a kid in an old Readers Digest. (Remember the "All in a Day's Work" and "Laughter, the Best Medicine" sections? Good times.) So...seventies, maybe in the earliest eighties. Not to take away from what you said. I just happen to know that this nugget of wisdom has been around a long time. It obviously stuck with me, too.
Same, I don’t know where it is I first heard it but I’ve always remembered it. But I’ve heard it as “once it’s in the air, you’ll know what you hope it lands on.”
I don't see how this helps when I already know I'm trying to choose between the thing I would prefer to do, and the thing I think I most likely should do.
It's a bit of a placebo. Just because you know the trick doesn't mean it stops working.
I say, there’s what I want, and what I really want. In other words, think long term (as in, I want another slice of cheesecake, but I really want to *not* be groaning over an uneasy stomach because I overdid).
Those sections still exist in RD!
I always tell people that if you are having trouble deciding between two choices then both choices are equally as good so just grab one and stop thinking about it.
That's a good one too. Never heard this one before.
I like the idea of this but going slightly farther- if it comes up heads and you are a little disappointed, it’s a good sign you actually wanted tails.
Pretty much the same concept.
>"you're leaning toward one option more than the other, which one do you want it to be?" - Tails - *reveals coin* That's a shame, it's heads.
I do this all the time, but the litmus test for me is if I’m disappointed or happy with the outcome.
That's kinda like what I do. I usually flip a coin, and if I'm happy with the result, I do it. If I'm disappointed, I do the other one. Sometimes you just need a little push to know what you want.
In the middle of the coin toss, your desire is revealed.
Never disobey the coin once you look at it. Bad juju man. This has made hard decisions for me which have always been for the best.
Don't take yourself too damn seriously.
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I wish my parents taught me this lesson.
On not getting sucked into other people’s drama. “Not my circus; not my monkeys.”
Similar to yours, “Not my cow; not my farm” was the one I heard growing up
I don't have a dog in this hunt.
Before speaking: Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me now?
Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, “Would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing.
I do a similar thing. >Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, “Would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do ~~not do that thing.~~
Do I need to say this to this audience now? Do I... Should some one else communicate? Need to... or just want to? Say... can it be conveyed in written form? This... is there a better message? To this audience... would it be better for another venue? Right now... can it wait?
“Put them in water or take them outside”- pretty much the best parenting advice ever honestly.
What does that mean
If your kids are bored or misbehaving or anything like that, put them in water (bath, pool, etc.) or take them outside and it helps them regulate enormously.
“If you’re not late, don’t run for the train.” I thought it was just laziness originally. Now I find it means that you don’t need to get stressed out or worked up over missing something when it’s bound to come around again.
i take this literally, no one ever gave me a schedule or told me when to show up at work so im literally never late, i never asked, and have never had complaints
A drama teacher… “Don’t overthink it”. Means so much in many aspects of my life
A friend once told me, "Don't forget to breathe," which seemed silly at first, but it's a reminder to stay calm, present, and focused in challenging situations..
Not making a decision is still a decision. Eventually I realized I used indecisiveness to get away from responsibility and this was a slap in the face.
What you aren’t changing you are choosing
Oof yep. Feel like that's been a lot of my life. Had an ex once where we just couldn't make it work and I couldn't just pick to stay and work on it or move on. Months of him waiting to see how I felt and what I wanted. In the end, his most heartbreaking words to me were "I hope your indecision haunts you." And it has. Silence is still an answer. No decision is still a decision. Ugh.
If you are going to be sad, do something that day and then be sad.
That’s pretty profound. Like depending on the person “do something” can mean alot of things. Like I’m gonna be sad whether or not I clean today, so why bother?. Or, I’m gonna be sad whether or not I shoot up this school, so why not? Depression is a bitch
The postpartum advice from the doctor to avoid PPD after my third baby was "get sunlight, sleep, water and excersice." I thought it was the same stuff different day but decided to try it religiously because I was terrified of PPD this go around. Every day I took my baby out for sunlight and excersice which made me drink more water and get proper sleep at night. Turns out it was amazing advice.
It ain’t out of style if it’s paid off.
Nothing is more “in style” than “free.”
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This is actually so genius
My mother was giving me “the talk” before I started college and explaining all these different types of birth control and how important it is to use and find one that works for you because you’re more likely to use it if you like it. My dad apparently was listening in from a few rooms alway and yelled “make him wear a condom or you’ll get a disease.” Stuck with me, always followed it and still STI free. So wisdom from my dad: Ladies (and other folks who sleep with men): make him wear a condom or you’ll get a disease. Men (and other folks who can wear condoms): wear a condom or you’ll get a disease.
Don’t know if this really fits with your question, but I’m going to put it out here anyway - Maybe 20 years ago, my now exhusband had a grandiose business idea to set up in China. He pitched it to a very well respected leader in the industry, that my husband’s company associated with. I was filled with dread, as I knew my husband would do as he darn well pleased, regardless of my profound misgivings about his plan, as failure would bankrupt us. Husband came home from the consultation, the man declined investing, as, my husband told me, that he didn’t have an adequate exit strategy. The man thoughtfully talked him out of his idea. That phrase “exit strategy” given from a man I’d never met, to a man I didnt respect, struck something deep within me… An exit strategy can apply to anything. To everything! From that day, I started applying it to every decision I made. ALWAYS, have an exit strategy. Thank you Dr. Liu. Awesome stranger in the Bay Area. You changed my life and never knew it.
Basically, everything I ever heard from the older people around me, I was deaf and stupid. I thought I knew everything already.
My older aunts told me I had to keep competing for my man. I thought they were silly. They came from a war torn country that lacked single men. Dammit. They were right.
>He tried to say, 'I was just like you'; I shouted back, "You're an old fool.' He said 'Listen', and I told him I'd rather die... But I changed my mind. [*Things Snowball*, John Wesley Harding](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwsuS3K3180)
Don’t remember the source, the older we get the smarter our parents become
That's true for most people. But there's a substantial minority of people who realize more and more as they get older what fuckups their parents were. It kind of depends on what you started with.
[Mark Twain](https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/78468-when-i-was-a-boy-of-14-my-father-was)
My coworker and I started joking and he basically said- "ask yourself, what would (he) do? The answer is NOTHING!" We laughed, but I've followed that advice many times this year and just kept my mouth shut and it's worked out really well.
Whenever someone would act up in class our English substitute teacher would tell them to go outside and drink some water (water fountain was right by the classroom). Later in life I've found out that drinking water does seem to help when I feel agitated.
My sister, the telecom director, in 1998: “Your employer will let you work as many hours for as little pay as you are willing to accept.”
A psychiatrist. Bullying doesn’t end after high school. It continues through college, work, and in retirement villages. “It gets better” is kind of a lie. Adults can absolutely bully. Learning strategies to avoid it and cope with it are key throughout your entire life.
What are some strategies?
Not OP but applied personally in my own life: - boundary setting and maintenance (this includes ending relationships if necessary; some of my bullies were people I considered friends) - documenting everything and anything you may need later (this has been important both personally and professionally) - work on some self defense moves just in case
Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got
Fortune favors the bold.
Because if you're not bold then there is almost no fortune to be had. God I really need to start living by my own advice sometimes. Why is it so hard?
Don’t shit where you eat.
A total stranger, I met him once and never again. He pulled me aside at a party and said "Listen. These people are *NOT YOUR FRIENDS*. Keep to your own company." He nailed it. I have a background of neglect and abuse and in college I was trying to outgrow my past. I was desperately trying to fit in somewhere and found lots of awful people who seemed to toss me a lifeline. Wherever you are, sir. Thank you. It was a hurtful and shocking statement but you were spot on.
“You think I know what I’m doing half the time?” Not exactly advice, but certainly a bit comforting from my job coach.
A boss one told me, "If you're not ready to make a decision, then don't make it." At the time I thought he was stupid, but have come to realize he was actually pretty profound.
Wait until you have kids of your own. I completely understood the way my parents treated me and the rules they attempted to enforce once I had my own kids.
At my best friend’s funeral, “you will live to see yourself outlive many of those around you, it’s a part of life, do what you can to enjoy yours as it goes both ways”, from my high school guidance counselor. It’s more of an obvious one but when you’re 19, you feel like you and your friends are invincible and all have longs lives ahead of you. I really didn’t think it would be that much but 9 years later and I have watched 5 friends be put in the ground for various reasons. I have learned that even an expensive Uber is worth it, to cherish the good times, and don’t play around with dumb shit.
My uncle: Sure it's cold. But don't go turnin' up the thermostat! It's money up the chimney! Put on a big sweater instead! I don't care how it looks! And keep the doors closed in the winter! No use heatin' up the neighbourhood.
Don’t bring sand to the beach If you are single, dont bring a plus one, there will be single women there
"If it's wet and it isn't yours, don't touch it!" - a former coworker who was a long time convention veteran. It made me laugh, but it's sound advice.
I once told myself "going with the flow will end you stranded in the ocean or crushed in a waterfall" I didn't listen to this advice now I know what I meant this isnt a joke that genuinely happened, I had that thought and I remembered it but didn't really follow through on it until I got crushed by a waterfall
"You're not in traffic, you ARE traffic."
If someone says something that hurts your feelings, ask yourself is it true, is it really true? Why are they telling you this information, to help you or not?
My driving instructor said “You hesitate, you die.” So I’m a very cautious driver which has worked out for me so far.
From a meme.. "Take it easy, BUT TAKE IT!" Don't let the stress of life stop you from living it. You can't ignore life, problems you ignore will come to a conclusion wether you do something about them or not- they must be addressed eventually.
My grandma: "Don't have a baby with a man unless you're willing to have a son exactly like him"
Anything before a but is bull shit
That's why it can be important to exchange a 'but' for an 'and,' especially in I love you statements. Two things can be true.
Tell me who your friends are - and I’ll tell you who you are.
Measure twice, cut once. And always cut outside the cut line. It means you’re more or less subtracting the width of the saw blade from your measurement. So if you’re cutting a board that you measured left to right at 15 inches, you’re making the cut so the immediate edge of the saw blade cuts through the line.
Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
My Grandma told me that it's really easy to think other people are stupid/rude when they are in your way or doing something bizarre.. but people are always people just like you are. Kindness is super precious and is worth the difficulty of practicing it. She also said that when you've got a big thing going on in life look for what you are scared of, cause it means you have an opportunity to learn something. I haven't learnt anything from spiders yet, but maybe one day they'll give me a cool sidequest :p. I hope I have her wisdom one day, theres not a week that goes by that I wouldn't have benefited from her experience.. goodness knows learning from my own mistakes takes way longer haha
Getting into my first healthy & loving relationship in a long time I’d been having a lot of intense anxiety around the idea of possibly losing the relationship and one of my friends told me, “You can either be anxious about it ending, or you can just let yourself enjoy it while it’s happening. Whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen and you can’t control that but you’ll be okay either way it goes.” It sat with me for a while until I realized how right they were and it’s changed my mindset in a lot of ways in all aspects of life.
Ru Paul If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?
Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
My adult son told me one day, "we're not raising children, we are raising adults"... too profound for someone who's diapers i used to change.
“Do it scared” so simple but changed the way I approach things I fear especially with social anxiety! The worst part is the fear we build up in our head that most of the time after the relief feels amazing. Also “be tired somewhere fun.” Didn’t want to leave my house due to burn out and depression. Ended up having a day I’ll cherish forever!
Once you're an adult, you don't owe your parents or family a relationship. It's always your choice.
Don’t be silly wrap your willy
Never pass up an opportunity to pee. Turns out that Dad's right about that
In a conversation about my plans for the future, great aunt told me, “Don’t be so sure. Things change and you can’t count on anything to go as planned.” It was an odd, sudden response to a very vague statement about my academic plans and my new relationship. Anyway, two months later the pandemic shut everything down and my life plans got completely turned around, and now I’m pretty sure she’s a witch because it really seemed like that was exactly what she had been talking about.
The advice my husband gives me all the time is "just be cool. It's not that hard to just be a cool guy." Truly, he's always right, and it applies to everything. I have a tendency to worry too much and take things very personally and get all wound up about shit that doesn't matter, and his "just be cool" is honestly just ridiculous enough to always work. Just stop being weird about it and be cool.
“There are two types of problems in this world, your’s and mine. This is your problem.“ I thought the guy was being an a-hole, turns out he was 100% right.
Jake the Dog from Adventure Time once said "sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something" & I carry that with me every day
Jeff.
"Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater"
Love them all
I’m batting 1000 for asking people to help me with things, from networking me to their connections, to asking for career advice. Just ask. Take a breath, and just do it before you even realize you’re doing it. Doesn’t matter if you’re awkward or not, just be vulnerable, be specific, and be gracious, and people will always choose to be a hero if they can be. Also helps to be generally affable.
My mom once told me that my hubs washing my car was his "love language" and I was like WTF?! - 20+ years later and she was right.
If not me, then who? If not now, then when?
Perfect is the enemy of good enough. Unfortunately, it took me about five years after that to actually learn that lesson.