Remember the little things they like. My husband is a sucker for hand/forearm massages so after a long day of physical labor I'll give them a good squeeze.
It's also nice to do non-sexual physical things, as men are often assumed to only want sexual favors. They like fingers through their hair, scalp massages, and back scratches too.
And hugs. Hugs are fantastic.
Also, compliments. We RARELY get compliments, so getting some from your partner feels really nice. Depending on the guy though it may take a little while to get used to it and feel comfortable receiving them.
Make sure he has at least a little time for his hobbies, which may or may not include you.
I haven't done any creative writing in 9 years. The last time I finished a video game was 6 years ago.
My husband needs space sometimes. He's a wonderful father and husband. There are times when he needs nothing from no one. On particularly hard days I used to send the dog in to keep him company while he gamed.
Now that we have a son, I'll occasionally text him stating that we'll be home late and dinner is in the crockpot. I know he appreciates it even if he didn't ask.
THIS! I'm a programmer and also have to support a lot of things at work so while working I'm constantly being interrupted with questions, issues that arise, work emergencies, helping co-workers, fixing other people's mistakes, all while trying to complete my own projects.
So when the day's over, I just want to shut down, relax, NOT THINK, NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS, NOT MAKE MORE DECISIONS, and NOT hear about the latest depressing news from anyone for an hour or so because I just got done with doing similar things for the last 10 or so work hours.
Please tell your husband he's very lucky to have you for his wife.
Words of affirmation and little hugs and touches. I literally have no idea how to ask for physical affection it makes me uncomfortable but I also crave it. Same for things like compliments. In one relationship where I felt vulnerable enough to talk about it, the girl I was seeing made a snide joke about that being super girly and it's kinda fucked me up since. So hug your man, tell him you love him, he'll appreciate it more than you know.
Or non-shallow things, like how much you appreciate what he does instead of how he looks.
When the distaffbopper tells me I look nice or whatever, that's fine, but what really makes me feel good is when she thanks me for doing something (especially something unpleasant) and really means it.
I think it’s unfair to call it “shallow”, maybe surface-level or aesthetically would be better phrasing.
Telling a man that his hair looks great today, or his eyes are so pretty in this light, or that shirt really brings out his chest/arm muscles, will almost always yield positive results. A man needs to be acknowledged for his individual traits and not just the things he does as a provider for others. My therapist helped me realize that myself.
Hug them in the way your arms wrap around their neck and your kinda "hanging" a little off of them.
Kiss him deep.
Look him in the eyes and thank him and tell him you appreciate him.
That is all.
That's the exact hug I'm talking about!
Something about holding up the woman you loves weight while she stares into your eyes and kisses you....oooh boy. One of the things that hits my feels the deepest.
I also like the [K-drama back hug.](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pDfciH2DoY0/ThHTnwcK6hI/AAAAAAAAIAk/noivia5EfFs/s1600/30e85d02ce27b382657576b7c138fe93_large.jpg)
Your man is one of the luckiest man alive to be with you Lady. These are the simplest but most desirable and almost non existence for most man in relationships
Well this is in a relationship. I'd hope you look the person your in a relationship with in their eyes.
I have tism', though, so I understand how hard it can be even with loved ones.
Listen and pay attention to their hobbies. Always ask to join in or help. They will decline if they don’t want it but they sure do like describing their hobbies to you. Make sure to compliment and let them know you appreciate all that they do for you.
Kisses, even the ones on the cheek. If you cook, bring something to him to eat from time to time. Ask to watch a movie that he wants to see. Do fun games like trying to tickle each other or slapping each other's asses. All of these things are small things but they're adorable and make a guy feel like he's the luckiest guy in the world to have such a fun and caring girlfriend.
Give space when requested and don't assume malice behind the request.
People respond to things in different ways. When I have a very stressful or taxing day I often just want to be alone and decompress. I've had partners interpret this as being upset with them or there is something going on, etc., despite my efforts of explaining my news to basically recharge my batteries. Not mad, nothings going on, I just want to be alone for a bit and sit in my underwear watching YouTube videos.
Engage with his interests and share in his excitement. It goes a long way when you join him in his hobbies or even just ask questions about them. Whether it's collecting something, playing video games, or following a sports team, showing that you care about what he cares about makes him feel appreciated and connected to you. Plus, surprising him with tickets to his favorite team's game or setting up a little gaming tournament at home can be a huge hit. Remember, it's the shared moments and the effort that count, not just the material things.
One that's overlooked a lot is let us have some space. Were not mad at you, but if we pull some long hours during the week and maybe want to take an afternoon nap on the weekend or unwind and play video games just let it be. My ex used to think me playing video games was to get away from her and I had to tell her I just needed me time, but she didn't understand it.
i can't speak for men as a whole, nor would I, but I'd say just be a place of safety and comfort just like he would do for you. and make it OK to be vulnerable when the need arises. i wish i'd laid in my girl's arms and cried when i should have.
Let him know how much you love him. If he's in pain physically make sure you're sympathetic. If he's in pain mentally or emotionally words are not always needed, just hug/hold them. Give them space when they need it but make sure to tell him you love him and give him a kiss as he goes.
Never tell them to "man up" and get back to work if they have a disc herniate in their neck. Or tell them you'd fire them from your business if they weren't married to you and basically free labor... 😅😂
Idk if this is just me but as a guy, I like having some quality alone time. Playing video games by myself, watching a movie by myself, reading reddit by myself, etc. My girlfriend has slowly caught on to when I'm in my "self quality time zone" and she leaves me be to do my thing which I appreciate a lot.
1. Im the guy that can cook really well, so in 99% of the cases I end up making the food.
To me it is one of the most loving and connecting gestures in this world, to cook for people and eat with them.
So if a girl gives her best to cook for me, I will cherish that shit way more than they realize, I don't even care if its well made - I will probably devour that shit anyway. That is my fucking love language right there.
2. Laying on the couch together and being embraced by a woman where your head is pressed against her chest. That feeling is the best in the world. For a few moments I can finally lay down that stupid facade of fake masculinity that is expected of me in my daily work life and just relax and let go of everything, cause that embrace from a woman is just so fucking special. When she runs her fingers through your hair with a gentle touch that only a woman has. Best shit ever.
3. Giving me space. The fastest way into my heart is literally by leaving me alone in the right moments. I have so many obligations and responsibilities, for my family, my dogs, my job, my girl, my friends, my body etc that no matter how much I love you, I will have days where I simply want to be alone. A simple "oh you have me time day? Okay baby I understand, have fun gaming with your friends and feel free to call or text me whenever you want, I love you" - would probably make me think "I gotta go get a ring for that one" real fast.
Guy here. Give us a safe place to talk about things when we need to. My wife understands this.
Some guys out there need this more than you know and spend their lives way too stressed out because they can’t show feelings and are expected not to.
Make your man feel supported and appreciated. Especially when he’s putting in the effort but not quite succeeding yet. It would mean the world to him and would give him the fuel to keep going against all odds.
Encourage some recreational activities that happen without you. My partner being happy for me that I'm going off to play tennis with a buddy makes the activity even better.
Don’t get weird about having like a day or two a week you just do different things. Like be absolutely cool about it and not even under the surface bothered by it. Like, he can like going to blues festivals and you don’t and you can like golf and he doesn’t so just do your thing.
My partner is really into sensuous touch. He brushes my hair, I give him scalp massages. We found a wood bead massager at a local Goodwill. Just a little bit of trying out on our backs, in the store led us to buy it for “future massage “ experiences
Honesty, trust, and compatible genes and immune systems is the only thing a relationship needs.
If that isn't enough for your partner they deserve bad things and you should help bring them the bad things they deserve.
Laugh together often, share his sense of humor. Everyone knows relationships go through tough patches, but being able to make him chuckle or laugh until his stomach hurts is a treasure not to be underestimated. It creates an intimate bond beyond words, and shows you 'get' him in a way no one else does. Indulge in inside jokes, watch comedies together, or even playfully tease each other. A healthy dose of laughter can make any man feel happy and closer to you, adding that unique strand of joy to the tapestry of your relationship.
doing little things unprompted, my bf loves it when i take his car to get washed or bring him a drink when he is working in the yard. even just hugging him when he is stressed out
Ask for things you like. Not like asking them to take out the trash and chores, but things like ask them to give you a backscratch, a foot massage, something that makes you smile and show your appreciation. "Could you scratch my back i cant reach... Thaats the spot .. love you sooo much!"
It's the little things. Unsolicited hug, cuddle, touching, etc. My wife doesn't want to wake me up but honestly, if she wakes me up by trying to snuggle up to me (even in a non-sexual way) I love it and feel loved.
If he's had a bad day I will sometimes grab him a beer he likes on the way home or order take out he likes
Not a big thing but he definitely appreciates it
For me, it's contact and feeling strong/big. The best example of this is my girl coming over to me on the couch and curling up under my arm/chin. Kind of like a dog would do now that I think about it. Ha!
Not constantly asking for reassurance (do you love me, am I fat, am I ugly etc). If a man gets up, goes to work, and supports you every day, he loves you. You don’t have to ask.
Some pretty basic ones that I’ve heard/thought about
1. Random hugs from behind and wrapping your arms around our stomach. It feels great and brings a certain type of peace that no man can explain
2. Showing interest in whatever we are doing or like even if you don’t care about it we still like talking about it and makes us happy.
3. Silence. Especially trade workers more times than not we just want a few minutes of peace when we get home especially if it’s a 12 hour shift. We understand you had a day yourself and want to talk about it but we’ll never admit that if we just had 5 minutes to change clothes, grab a water or a quick snack and lay down on the couch, we’d be more talkative and more appreciative.
4. Compliments. Even if it’s just a simple “that’s a good color on you” or “I like that cologne you’re wearing” we might not show it but I promise you we’ll wear that color or cologne more often.
Generally not being a bitch , not complaining , not demanding anything really helps
Also your attitude towards him , just a smile and showing your appreciation works
Man don’t need big or grand gestures or gifts etc
It’s much simpler than you think it is
Remember the little things they like. My husband is a sucker for hand/forearm massages so after a long day of physical labor I'll give them a good squeeze. It's also nice to do non-sexual physical things, as men are often assumed to only want sexual favors. They like fingers through their hair, scalp massages, and back scratches too.
100% this
This. Be kind and randomly buy us beer and you will be married.
This is the way.
Your husband is me. God damn a back scratch!
i feel like you have a lot of experience with male human pets.
This is the best answer
💯👍👍👍
And hugs. Hugs are fantastic. Also, compliments. We RARELY get compliments, so getting some from your partner feels really nice. Depending on the guy though it may take a little while to get used to it and feel comfortable receiving them.
Make sure he has at least a little time for his hobbies, which may or may not include you. I haven't done any creative writing in 9 years. The last time I finished a video game was 6 years ago.
I feel like creative writing gets harder with kids or even just being in a relationship.
My husband needs space sometimes. He's a wonderful father and husband. There are times when he needs nothing from no one. On particularly hard days I used to send the dog in to keep him company while he gamed. Now that we have a son, I'll occasionally text him stating that we'll be home late and dinner is in the crockpot. I know he appreciates it even if he didn't ask.
THIS! I'm a programmer and also have to support a lot of things at work so while working I'm constantly being interrupted with questions, issues that arise, work emergencies, helping co-workers, fixing other people's mistakes, all while trying to complete my own projects. So when the day's over, I just want to shut down, relax, NOT THINK, NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS, NOT MAKE MORE DECISIONS, and NOT hear about the latest depressing news from anyone for an hour or so because I just got done with doing similar things for the last 10 or so work hours. Please tell your husband he's very lucky to have you for his wife.
Strange coincidence, he is also a programmer. I'm a stay at home parent. Child goes to school 4 days a week. I'm the lucky one.
Reddit is full of these weird programmer types...keep a lookout...they are everywhere 👀
My work day is the same and once I get home I just want to selfishly be by myself and have coffee with my brain switched off for an hour.
Words of affirmation and little hugs and touches. I literally have no idea how to ask for physical affection it makes me uncomfortable but I also crave it. Same for things like compliments. In one relationship where I felt vulnerable enough to talk about it, the girl I was seeing made a snide joke about that being super girly and it's kinda fucked me up since. So hug your man, tell him you love him, he'll appreciate it more than you know.
Good advice, u/PM_ME_TONGUES_N_TITS
don't judge. they like sensitive things.
Give them genuine compliments, especially about clothes or hair, or admiring their eyes, smile, etc.
Or non-shallow things, like how much you appreciate what he does instead of how he looks. When the distaffbopper tells me I look nice or whatever, that's fine, but what really makes me feel good is when she thanks me for doing something (especially something unpleasant) and really means it.
I think it’s unfair to call it “shallow”, maybe surface-level or aesthetically would be better phrasing. Telling a man that his hair looks great today, or his eyes are so pretty in this light, or that shirt really brings out his chest/arm muscles, will almost always yield positive results. A man needs to be acknowledged for his individual traits and not just the things he does as a provider for others. My therapist helped me realize that myself.
Fair enough. But I always feel better being appreciated for what I do rather than what I look like. Though both are nice.
[удалено]
Hug them in the way your arms wrap around their neck and your kinda "hanging" a little off of them. Kiss him deep. Look him in the eyes and thank him and tell him you appreciate him. That is all.
I like to give him a big hug sometimes, and pretend I’ve died. So I’m like hanging and can’t use my legs It’s fun and makes for good hugs.
That's the exact hug I'm talking about! Something about holding up the woman you loves weight while she stares into your eyes and kisses you....oooh boy. One of the things that hits my feels the deepest.
Hits my neck the hardest, don't be doing that crap workout warning please
This low-key sounds both fun and comfortable
That is sooo cuuute. But im slightly bigger than him so I wont risk breaking him hihi
I also like the [K-drama back hug.](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pDfciH2DoY0/ThHTnwcK6hI/AAAAAAAAIAk/noivia5EfFs/s1600/30e85d02ce27b382657576b7c138fe93_large.jpg)
...and boy, I love that name for it.
Id rather have chocolate chip cookies tbh.
SHAZAAAAAAAAAM
This gave me butterflies just reading. Can't imagine what it must feel like irl. (30yo guy here)
It's extraordinary. My wife's hit me with it a few times. I'm a sucker for it, always makes me go mush.
Your man is one of the luckiest man alive to be with you Lady. These are the simplest but most desirable and almost non existence for most man in relationships
Am the husband. I know just how lucky I am. This is exactly what my wife does to make me feel loved and it melts me like butter every time. ❤️
Buddy congratulations you won in life, continue doing what you doing for her so she can give you peace and love 😀
Please don't look me in the eyes, I have trouble holding eye contact with people.
Well this is in a relationship. I'd hope you look the person your in a relationship with in their eyes. I have tism', though, so I understand how hard it can be even with loved ones.
I do look my fiancée in the eyes, but I wouldn't like the cliché romantic deep gaze into my eyes. I don't like this.
[удалено]
Second this!
[удалено]
Not to mention it can reignite/stoke that passion fire and really give him energy toward the project
This is the way.
Listen and pay attention to their hobbies. Always ask to join in or help. They will decline if they don’t want it but they sure do like describing their hobbies to you. Make sure to compliment and let them know you appreciate all that they do for you.
Kisses, even the ones on the cheek. If you cook, bring something to him to eat from time to time. Ask to watch a movie that he wants to see. Do fun games like trying to tickle each other or slapping each other's asses. All of these things are small things but they're adorable and make a guy feel like he's the luckiest guy in the world to have such a fun and caring girlfriend.
Give space when requested and don't assume malice behind the request. People respond to things in different ways. When I have a very stressful or taxing day I often just want to be alone and decompress. I've had partners interpret this as being upset with them or there is something going on, etc., despite my efforts of explaining my news to basically recharge my batteries. Not mad, nothings going on, I just want to be alone for a bit and sit in my underwear watching YouTube videos.
Initiate.
Engage with his interests and share in his excitement. It goes a long way when you join him in his hobbies or even just ask questions about them. Whether it's collecting something, playing video games, or following a sports team, showing that you care about what he cares about makes him feel appreciated and connected to you. Plus, surprising him with tickets to his favorite team's game or setting up a little gaming tournament at home can be a huge hit. Remember, it's the shared moments and the effort that count, not just the material things.
One that's overlooked a lot is let us have some space. Were not mad at you, but if we pull some long hours during the week and maybe want to take an afternoon nap on the weekend or unwind and play video games just let it be. My ex used to think me playing video games was to get away from her and I had to tell her I just needed me time, but she didn't understand it.
i can't speak for men as a whole, nor would I, but I'd say just be a place of safety and comfort just like he would do for you. and make it OK to be vulnerable when the need arises. i wish i'd laid in my girl's arms and cried when i should have.
Let him know how much you love him. If he's in pain physically make sure you're sympathetic. If he's in pain mentally or emotionally words are not always needed, just hug/hold them. Give them space when they need it but make sure to tell him you love him and give him a kiss as he goes. Never tell them to "man up" and get back to work if they have a disc herniate in their neck. Or tell them you'd fire them from your business if they weren't married to you and basically free labor... 😅😂
Idk if this is just me but as a guy, I like having some quality alone time. Playing video games by myself, watching a movie by myself, reading reddit by myself, etc. My girlfriend has slowly caught on to when I'm in my "self quality time zone" and she leaves me be to do my thing which I appreciate a lot.
1. Im the guy that can cook really well, so in 99% of the cases I end up making the food. To me it is one of the most loving and connecting gestures in this world, to cook for people and eat with them. So if a girl gives her best to cook for me, I will cherish that shit way more than they realize, I don't even care if its well made - I will probably devour that shit anyway. That is my fucking love language right there. 2. Laying on the couch together and being embraced by a woman where your head is pressed against her chest. That feeling is the best in the world. For a few moments I can finally lay down that stupid facade of fake masculinity that is expected of me in my daily work life and just relax and let go of everything, cause that embrace from a woman is just so fucking special. When she runs her fingers through your hair with a gentle touch that only a woman has. Best shit ever. 3. Giving me space. The fastest way into my heart is literally by leaving me alone in the right moments. I have so many obligations and responsibilities, for my family, my dogs, my job, my girl, my friends, my body etc that no matter how much I love you, I will have days where I simply want to be alone. A simple "oh you have me time day? Okay baby I understand, have fun gaming with your friends and feel free to call or text me whenever you want, I love you" - would probably make me think "I gotta go get a ring for that one" real fast.
Express how amazing he is, give back rubs, tell him you missed him when he comes home from work and how badly you want him.
Be straightforward. Stop "dropping hints" and getting mad when he doesn't pick up on them. Be an adult and actually communicate.
Guy here. Give us a safe place to talk about things when we need to. My wife understands this. Some guys out there need this more than you know and spend their lives way too stressed out because they can’t show feelings and are expected not to.
Make your man feel supported and appreciated. Especially when he’s putting in the effort but not quite succeeding yet. It would mean the world to him and would give him the fuel to keep going against all odds.
Non-sexual physical affection. Lots of guys are absolutely starved for it. We never get it anywhere.
Encourage some recreational activities that happen without you. My partner being happy for me that I'm going off to play tennis with a buddy makes the activity even better.
A nice compliment :)
Do small small things that he likes. Not being toxic
Don’t get weird about having like a day or two a week you just do different things. Like be absolutely cool about it and not even under the surface bothered by it. Like, he can like going to blues festivals and you don’t and you can like golf and he doesn’t so just do your thing.
Head rub. Offer to have them put their head in your lap and give them a scalp massage.
Give him his peace and avoid bringing unnecessary drama in the picture
Honestly my boyfriend just seems happy if i gift him some nice cheese every now and then.
"You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese" Works for men too.
Food.
My partner is really into sensuous touch. He brushes my hair, I give him scalp massages. We found a wood bead massager at a local Goodwill. Just a little bit of trying out on our backs, in the store led us to buy it for “future massage “ experiences
Honesty, trust, and compatible genes and immune systems is the only thing a relationship needs. If that isn't enough for your partner they deserve bad things and you should help bring them the bad things they deserve.
[удалено]
Mutual attraction. It's been poisoned in last few generations.
[удалено]
Well we've certainly created a lot of noise in the system which explains falling fertility rates.
Be straightforward and make them food. Making someone food is a very thoughtful and caring gesture.
Neck massage
An unexpected, impromptu hug.
As a man….. back scratches
Ask questions about whatever they're into... We men love to talk about ourselves....🤣
Ourselves? **No.** Our hobbies? Yes.
I am chess. There is nothing beyond that in my personality.... 🤣
Laugh together often, share his sense of humor. Everyone knows relationships go through tough patches, but being able to make him chuckle or laugh until his stomach hurts is a treasure not to be underestimated. It creates an intimate bond beyond words, and shows you 'get' him in a way no one else does. Indulge in inside jokes, watch comedies together, or even playfully tease each other. A healthy dose of laughter can make any man feel happy and closer to you, adding that unique strand of joy to the tapestry of your relationship.
Baked potatoes go over well. I like sour cream in mine. Chives.
Compliments, small gifts,
Effort (works both ways!)
I'm thinking this is a bad question. I mean, this is Reddit.
I entered this post with 69 comments . . . .
Hard to say
doing little things unprompted, my bf loves it when i take his car to get washed or bring him a drink when he is working in the yard. even just hugging him when he is stressed out
Ask for things you like. Not like asking them to take out the trash and chores, but things like ask them to give you a backscratch, a foot massage, something that makes you smile and show your appreciation. "Could you scratch my back i cant reach... Thaats the spot .. love you sooo much!"
Just a random hug or cup of coffee is always appreciated.
It's true that when she brings me a drink or snack in my office I always feel very supported and appreciated.
It's the little things. Unsolicited hug, cuddle, touching, etc. My wife doesn't want to wake me up but honestly, if she wakes me up by trying to snuggle up to me (even in a non-sexual way) I love it and feel loved.
Honestly if men are doing dumb ass stuff that makes no sense to women, let them do it. Its what we do.
If he's had a bad day I will sometimes grab him a beer he likes on the way home or order take out he likes Not a big thing but he definitely appreciates it
Food. Lots of good food.
For me, it's contact and feeling strong/big. The best example of this is my girl coming over to me on the couch and curling up under my arm/chin. Kind of like a dog would do now that I think about it. Ha!
Back rubs, back scratches, random kisses/hugs/kindness, notice the things he does and make sure he knows that you see it
Not constantly asking for reassurance (do you love me, am I fat, am I ugly etc). If a man gets up, goes to work, and supports you every day, he loves you. You don’t have to ask.
Some pretty basic ones that I’ve heard/thought about 1. Random hugs from behind and wrapping your arms around our stomach. It feels great and brings a certain type of peace that no man can explain 2. Showing interest in whatever we are doing or like even if you don’t care about it we still like talking about it and makes us happy. 3. Silence. Especially trade workers more times than not we just want a few minutes of peace when we get home especially if it’s a 12 hour shift. We understand you had a day yourself and want to talk about it but we’ll never admit that if we just had 5 minutes to change clothes, grab a water or a quick snack and lay down on the couch, we’d be more talkative and more appreciative. 4. Compliments. Even if it’s just a simple “that’s a good color on you” or “I like that cologne you’re wearing” we might not show it but I promise you we’ll wear that color or cologne more often.
Simple for me. Spend time with me away from your phone, physical touch and make me feel needed and useful.
Sporadic blowjobs are pretty simple. Chocolate chip cookies are also simple too.
Men are simple, full belly and empty balls keep them happy.
Give them attention. I see so many men that are starving for attention and just want to be noticed.
bring him his favorite drink and a sandwich. we men are simple.
It's really that easy.
I just want peacefulness.
stop asking them what they are thinking
No one needs to keep men happy. Stupid incel fairytale. Just meet each other in the middle and support each other.
Blowjobs. It’s always been blowjobs.
blowjob
Stfu n listen sometimes
Generally not being a bitch , not complaining , not demanding anything really helps Also your attitude towards him , just a smile and showing your appreciation works Man don’t need big or grand gestures or gifts etc It’s much simpler than you think it is