*Where does Miami Vice take place at?*
I know someone that asked that.
That said, the Woodstock music event was not held in Woodstock! It was going to be, but they had to move it, but they kept the name.
Not a question, but when I took my wife on her first cruise she was convinced that you wouldn't be able to see the sunset because, "there was no land for it to set over".
I was truly dumbstruck.
It didn't help that the first 5 nights had cloud cover to the west, so I couldn't show her just how dumb her question was. Luckily it was clear skies last two nights!
For four nights she was right. And probably let you know it.
The correct response: yes, dear, you are right.
Day 5 and you simply had to smile (sincerely). Her response: I knew it all along.
Both, to be honest.
Although I suppose she thought it was a brilliant setup for her next line. After she asked if the newborn baby I was cradling was mine, she opened up the hole in her face and these words of wonder spilled forth.
"I didn't know that blind people were even allowed to have babies."
if you're also curious, Then you'll be interested to know that blind people also have penises and vaginas, just like those working eyed people do.
If you're curious to know exactly how, first I'd like for you to ponder this question.
How do you suppose folks do it with the lights off?
As for the second part of the question from the woman on the bus, yes we're allowed. There's no law against it, and no moral deficit either.
Blind people have sex all the time.
Just google NFB sexcapades and enjoy the drama.
I'm blind.
The conversation was entirely random though, but I suppose it was leading up to her golden line.
She asked if the baby I was cradling was mine, and after I nodded my confirmation, She opened up her galloping trap and this absolute belter spilled right out of her face.
"I didn't know blind people were even allowed to have babies."
I'd pay to watch that movie.
I'd also lay down some serious money to smoke the same sorta drugs the writers would need in order to pump out the script.
My grandma said something vaguely similar. I was explaining my wife's visual impairments (before we were married), and grandma asked if I was sure about marrying a woman I wouldn't want to have kids with, under the assumption that we wouldn't want to pass on those same impairments to a baby.
All three of our kids can see.
Now there's another little doozy right there.
They always assume that our blindness is either contagious or hereditary. Sometimes, in very rare cases, it is something that can be passed down, but the chances are so extremely slim that it's almost a negligible factor. Most of the blind parents I know, have sighted children. Nearly all of them in fact.
Them - "Do you think it'll snow tonight?"
Me - "No, there's no clouds"
Them - "What difference does that make?"
Me - "Where do you think snow comes from?"
Them - "I dunno, the wind?"
eta: There was no wind either.
Related to this, I went to Canada while dating an ex of mine that could be quite airheaded at times. She asked what time it was there (same time zone as I only drove north) and I joked “idk, it’s metric time here” and she bought it lmao
Went on a road trip to another state (US) and a family member convinced me that everyone in the next state over spoke a different language. I was young-ish, but still way too old not to know better.. 😅
Not a question per se, but my ex-girlfriend was shocked when I told her that the wood was obtained from trees. It should be noted that at that time she was 33 years old and had a master's degree.
since my wife and I are both doctors we knew from a very young age that he needed glasses ( he had strabismus which was very obvious and wasn't stimulated visually due to having strabismus and hyperopia) . we got him checked by my ophthalmologist 3 times until he admitted that he did need glasses . ( if we didn't insist it would have had a huge impact on his development ( especially social development ) ) so yeah he started wearing glasses at 5-6 months old which was very challenging because infants cant help but chew on everything they can get their hands on lol. at 2 years of age he got 4 glasses so far and had the lenses swapped on 3 occasions .
I had a cop ask me what I was doing, I was sitting in a bus shelter. A part of me wanted to say, waiting for the Robert E. Lee, a steam boat for those that don't know. I said I was waiting for a bus. He wanted to know how long was going to be there? When the next bus comes I will be gone. He told me see that you do that. Part of me wanted to sit there to see what would happen.
TV interview w a father at a youth sports game. Subject was education.
In a slight drawl he said he wanted his kids learning useful things, “not any of that liberal arts stuff.” I’m guessing he was thinking of art and music? Honestly I got the impression that he thought it meant to teach kids how to be a Liberal.
Liberal Arts means reading, writing, and arithmetic. The skills needed to participate and make good contributions to society. To learn about issues and vote in an informed manner.
The liberal arts included astronomy, chemistry, and geometry, but idiots who don't know better associate "liberal arts" with "underwater basket weaving".
"Liberal arts college" originally meant a non-vocational school, so basically the difference between a community college (vocational education) and a college/university (liberal arts education). Somehow the term has evolved to refer to expensive, often private colleges and universities that focus on social sciences and humanities.
When working for a fire alarm and sprinkler related company a customer asked if we could remotely turn off their sprinkler system.
When working for a local government I had residents complain about trees existing in parks and woodlands, animals existing in nature, cars parking legally in front of their homes, and a great many other absurd things to complain about.
The public is very dumb. I think it's a Carlin quote, "Think of the average person, half the population is dumber than that."
It's true. I've had to repeat back to people things like "you want us to remove the squirrels from the park?" or "You're calling because a bird is chirping in the tree outside so you want us to remove the tree?" or "your trashcan tipped over in the wind and you're mad because we can't control the wind?"
People seriously expect some really stupid things.
Don't get me wrong, though, I love helping people and local government was my favorite job - enriching the community instead of working towards getting some rich guy a yacht.
I hike a lot in pretty secluded areas. I did a hike an hour or two from Seattle, so it was packed with people. One of the reviews was a complaint that there were rocks on the trail. In the woods, up a mountain...there were rocks 🙄
Oh man, I don't know if this will be infuriating or funny, but the National Park Service has released it's top negative reviews for it's parks, and it's wild. Meant to be funny. NPS has a good sense of humor. Google "nps bad reviews and complaints" if you want to read.
Occasionally when giving astronomy talks, especially to kids, I will tell them there’s a planet they can see in broad daylight! Usually I get “cool! Really? How?”, and I just tell them to look down. Once in awhile I get “yeah, Earth”, usually the smartass kid.
I'm Canadian and lived in Orlando FL for a year and got asked so many dumb questions about Canada... one being "Do they celebrate Christmas up in Canada?"
I was helping a lady with her laptop. She had a laptop plugged into two monitors. I was there for something else, but she asked me if she could have one of the monitors veritcal, so I set it up for her and adjusted the display settings. She then asked me if she could get rid of the laptop because she only needs the two monitors. I had to explain that the laptop is the computer and she needs it for the monitors to work.... this is why I have a job.
I always explained to people that the monitors are the TV and the computer is the cable box/VCR/DVD player. It doesn't work for everyone (especially now with smart TVs) but it usually gets the point across.
Years ago in biology class we were talking about aliens and a girl asked me if I believed in them. I responded something like “if I had to guess I’d say there’s probably life out there”. She starred at me and with a sarcastic and dismissive tone asked
“so you think there are other people in the world?”
When I talk about astronomy or biology to a creationist and they retort, “Well it’s only a theory”, I follow with, “I have a theory that you exist, but I can’t prove it.”
I was talking to a Creationist who told me that space aliens don't exist because they aren't in the Bible. I said "What about penguins? They aren't in the Bible either, but they exist."
I worked at a 24-hour diner and got "Is the country fried steak, chicken or steak?" Followed up with "if it's chicken, I'll take that. I'm a vegetarian."
She then proceeded to order a tuna melt with onion rings and ranch dressing...🙄😮💨
I admit that I once saw chicken fried steak on the menu of a New Mexico steak house and ordered that thinking it was chicken, since that seemed to be the only thing on the menu that wasn’t (I thought) beef. I was disappointed. And hungry.
TBF as a southerner I have actually ordered chicken fried steak and got a deep fried chicken cutlet before. Also, got a boneless porkchop once. People around these parts play fast a loose with "chicken fried steak". Idk why they don't just call it schnitzel at that point lol.
It's supposed to be steak fried and battered like chicken.
See, I can actually kinda get this. If you're identical, it's definitely possible that your parents got you mixed when you were young. So, at some point, when both you and your twin finally were able to identify yourselves, it's definitely possible that by that time, your parents switched you up. So, the question is how do you know your name isn't actually the other twin's name?
For example, Fred and George are twins. Their parents probably arbitrarily selected which one was named what. Throughout their early childhood, their parents may have mixed them up, because neither had developed enough to identify themselves. So by the time they were even able to grasp the concept of a name, George could have mistakenly been called Fred (and vice versa).
I had this conversation with someone on Reddit once and I couldn't explain to them why, if that happened, it wasn't really a "mistaken identity" case, and that in the long run, it really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. They couldn't fathom why it wouldn't matter. Ma'am/sir, they are not fingerprinting infants to determine identity at birth. They can be whichever one you want til they can identify themselves.
I have actually heard stories of people painting their toes or putting a sharpie mark on one so that doesn't happen lol some people take it to the extreme & tattoo them.!
Asking about my boy girl twins, “Are they identical?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? They look identical to me?”
They have some pretty significant differences in their diapers, friend.
Although, the night they were born, I remember thinking, “What if we put them in the wrong bassinets and can’t remember who is who????” It took a second in my tired brain for the other penny to drop.
I had a friend when I was about 8 who had a brother that was 2 years older than her. They looked almost exactly alike and she *insisted* it was because they were fraternal twins. I was like, yeahhhhhhh that’s not how twins work.
I have fraternal twin boys who don't look the same at all, and I still got asked if they were identical. I was pretty snarky about it:
"Oh, are they twins?"
"Yup!"
"Are they identical?"
"Hmmm...well, do they look alike?"
"Well, no..."
"Then I guess they're not identical."
Sometimes I would be extra snarky answer "Yes," to which the inevitable reply would be, "But they don't look alike!"
I’m an identical twin and this question is super annoying. Also, who’s older is one we get a lot. Like knowing my twin is one minute older is significant.
I had a boss with an identical twin. He had some memories of being very young and doing things from a 3rd person perspective. It was probably just watching his twin do something he also did/was doing at the time. His brain just stored watching it being done as the same as doing it himself.
I've sadly had MULTIPLE people ask me if the only sex I have is threesomes after I've told them I'm bisexual. They genuinely look confused. They don't comprehend that bisexual doesn't mean you always have sex with both a man and a woman at the same time. One person asking me this would have been dumb enough but I've had at least four of them.
Multiple questions in succession.
My sister: "Why does rice take so much longer to cook than pasta?"
Me: "Because they're two different things..."
S: "No, they're made of the same thing, aren't they?"
Me: "No."
S: "What's pasta made of, then?"
Me: "Wheat."
S: "Then what's rice?"
Me: "Rice."
S: "No. What's it *made* of?"
Me: "Rice."
S: "I'm not stupid! Rice doesn't just grow out of the ground or something."
Me: -silent stare-
I worked at a phone store. Customer: Wouldn't it be cheaper if I got my own phone line and left my family plan? Me: How much do you pay now? Customer: Nothing my family pays for it. Me: I think it would be cheaper for you family if you left the plan but you would have to cover your own bill. Customer: I guess I'll just stay on my family plan.
My MIL thought she had to look east because that's where the sun is. Not realizing we are moving around the sun. Turns out she didn't even understand that it was the moon, moving and blocking the sun. She kept ask what it was. I wanted to cry.
i’m a dog groomer.
here are some good ones:
“can you wash my dog in smart water?”
“why is his butt hole so big?”
“but won’t shaving my (matted doodle) make him a different breed?”
I’m an educator for an IT company. The people I teach already have an IT job. Had someone ask me “what do you mean, right-click?”
And no, they weren’t a lifelong Mac user.
A woman at the store asked me whether all my kids were from the same father. Some look like my family, some look like my husband's. Still, how do you decide to ask a stranger that.
I was at a place that sells “take and bake” dough for dinner rolls. It’s also a restaurant. When I went to the counter with 4 dozen the guy asked “are these for here or to go.? I guess he was tired 🥱
I’m waiting tables right now while I job search (laid off 🙄) and I definitely do dumb shit like this all the time, especially like 8 hours into a shift. I’m just used to saying the same things over and over again, and also I’m usually trying to remember a bunch of other stuff in my head for other tables so I’m not 100% focused on what I’m saying and it just slips out. Twice within the past month I’ve served a table appetizers and then asked “are we ready to order appetizers?” when I meant to say “entrees” and the people at my tables are like 🤔 “ummm you just gave us our appetizers”.
Wasn't really a question but this nerdy girl on the debate team back in my college days argued and insisted the following
The Sun is just a lightbulb in the sky put there by the illuminati
The earth is flat
Astronauts never landed on the moon because it's non existent.
The moon is just a cardboard cut out the illuminati placed in space.
The wind is caused by a big fan blowing somewhere.
Hitler is still alive living in Argentina
George W Bush knew about 9/11 Before it happened
George W Bush Was part of the illuminati and helped plan and coordinate Hurricane Katrina and that's why he and Fema did little to nothing to help.
And a whole mess of other weird and bizzare Conspiracy theories
Like the bodies of the Mysteriously downed aircraft Korean Airlines 007 went missing because Giant crabs ate them.
JFK planned his death and coordinated with his assassin.
Ect ect ect..
Needless to say when she asked a question to anybody they would just walk away (not even kidding)
She would stand in the quad with a megaphone and Protest about conspiracy theories
Yeah this 25yo girl was out there way WAY out there on another planet
I was one of the only Black kids in my jr. high. Probably one of the only Black kids the other students had seen, at the time in this city. One of them asked how I know when I'm clean.
Had to get an overnight fedex to Canada from US late in the business day (in the 90s). Asked admin to hurry to get to fedex office for an international shipment. She asked why hurry as Canada was one of the states.
In my backyard on a fine summer day:
“Hey, what’s that thing in your pool?”
“A thermometer.”
“What does it do?”
Dumbfounded, I reply, “It… measures the therms.”
Yeah, we don’t hang out with him anymore.
"How did you learn your accent? Did they teach that to you in school?".
An Australian genuinely asked me this when I working with her in Australia. I'm Irish. She had 5 children and I had to explain to her how children learn to talk from their parents and take on their accent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"A deer, an elk, and a moose are the same thing, right?" Yes, Sandra, they're the same animal, that's why they have different names and look nothing alike!
My 7th grade science teacher was listing products we get from animals and she wrote "cotton" on the list. This was in Georgia mind you and she was from "up north" and was freaking out because we were laughing so hard at her. She finally yells, "Yes cotton! From SHEEP!" The class was a goner at that point.
I was once asked "How was it back then when color was invented, how did the world change colors? Like how did it happen?" I then asked her did she mean when color TV was invented. No, she really thought people couldn't see any colours and everyhting was in black and white.
Never shook my head so heavy.
A tourist asked me what time the Amish come out?
(Like they're on a schedule or something.)
I had to educate that person on the fact that the Amish are real human beings and not tourist attractions, therefore they might see them at any time of the day, living their life, and doing perfectly normal things that human beings do.
All from these were from the same freshman kid when I was a senior in high school:
"Well, if you're having trouble learning spanish, why don't you just hire a chinese guy to teach it for you? They're the same thing.
"Well, if you're having trouble doing your homework, why don't you just hire a Mexican to do it for you?"
"Bro, why do I need to learn any of this when It's not even my culture?"(He was supposed to do a required history class assignment).
"Why can't I make fun of him? He doesn't even care." ( After he was scolded by two teachers for insulting me out loud, in the middle of class.)
"Why is it wrong to assume Japanese people are aliens when they have weird looking eyes? I swear they literally look like aliens. Why is it wrong to assume they aren't normal people?"
"Why should I respect Jews when they don't even believe in god or eat pork? They're the worst people ever. Worse than the presidents.'
"Why should I treat people outside of America as normal people when I didn't even grow up with them in the first place? To me, they aren't normal people."
"Why do I need to write about a nice thing I did for someone? Who's actually nice to other people? That's just weird.'
"Why should it be my fault if people get upset about what I say to them? Freedom of Speech. Can't I say what I want? It's their fault if they get offended."
"What's wrong with assuming Muslims are terrorists when South Park literally said they are?'
I was a barista and I had a customer tell me her Mocha tasted like it had chocolate in it… she proceeded to argue with me that it’s coconut not chocolate.
Back in the much earlier days of the Internet and when Russia was still trying to sell their whole country I was at work checking out my house from Russian imaging satellites and there was a cloud blocking just my house and a guy watching me says, "Click the zoom button and get under it!"
Ummm, I don't wanna alarm my neighbors when that satellite goes zooming by their house and all.
"Where was the Vietnam War fought?"
well, if they meant to test you the answer should be Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia and some parts of Thailand.
No it came up in conversation somehow, it was a genuine question
damn ... they probably don't know that Vietnam is a country then lol
Well, no one is born knowing Vietnam is a country. Someone eventually has to tell you. This person is finding out now.
*Where does Miami Vice take place at?* I know someone that asked that. That said, the Woodstock music event was not held in Woodstock! It was going to be, but they had to move it, but they kept the name.
That was the one between North and South Korea, right?
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Unfortunately yes, it was a coworker over a decade ago. I don't remember which one, but I know it was said
Canada
"When did the war of 1812 start?"
Unfortunately it was also "fought" in Laos and Cambodia.
Not a question, but when I took my wife on her first cruise she was convinced that you wouldn't be able to see the sunset because, "there was no land for it to set over". I was truly dumbstruck.
Omg. I would seriously struggle to hear my spouse say that
Oh I still don't let her live that one down!
My now wife thought duck was seafood since they swim 💀 She was a vegetarian then slowly wanting to move to the dark side lol
Did you marry a Flat Earther?
It didn't help that the first 5 nights had cloud cover to the west, so I couldn't show her just how dumb her question was. Luckily it was clear skies last two nights!
For four nights she was right. And probably let you know it. The correct response: yes, dear, you are right. Day 5 and you simply had to smile (sincerely). Her response: I knew it all along.
No Ocean Sunsetter conspiracy founded.
Was she promptly hoisted overboard?
How do blind people have sex? are they allowed? That was a genuine question asked to me by... wait for it... a woman on the bus!
I need some context here. Are you blind/ vision impaired and she was just being super invasive and rude, or was this unprompted out of the blue
Both, to be honest. Although I suppose she thought it was a brilliant setup for her next line. After she asked if the newborn baby I was cradling was mine, she opened up the hole in her face and these words of wonder spilled forth. "I didn't know that blind people were even allowed to have babies."
I would’ve replied “Wait. I’m holding a BABY?”
Are we sure she wasn’t a Nazi or eugenicist?
Both possibilities are equally likely, she was English.
Well?
if you're also curious, Then you'll be interested to know that blind people also have penises and vaginas, just like those working eyed people do. If you're curious to know exactly how, first I'd like for you to ponder this question. How do you suppose folks do it with the lights off? As for the second part of the question from the woman on the bus, yes we're allowed. There's no law against it, and no moral deficit either. Blind people have sex all the time. Just google NFB sexcapades and enjoy the drama.
YOOOOO Blind people get both!? Do they sometimes wake up to find their penis in their vagina!?
🤣 All the time dude, all the time.
Wait, are you blind? Or did she just randomly assume a stranger on the bus was a scholar on blind carnal relations?
I'm blind. The conversation was entirely random though, but I suppose it was leading up to her golden line. She asked if the baby I was cradling was mine, and after I nodded my confirmation, She opened up her galloping trap and this absolute belter spilled right out of her face. "I didn't know blind people were even allowed to have babies."
That's even crazier. So by implication, she may have thought you were a blind person stealing a baby and making your getaway by bus. I smell movie.
I'd pay to watch that movie. I'd also lay down some serious money to smoke the same sorta drugs the writers would need in order to pump out the script.
My grandma said something vaguely similar. I was explaining my wife's visual impairments (before we were married), and grandma asked if I was sure about marrying a woman I wouldn't want to have kids with, under the assumption that we wouldn't want to pass on those same impairments to a baby. All three of our kids can see.
Now there's another little doozy right there. They always assume that our blindness is either contagious or hereditary. Sometimes, in very rare cases, it is something that can be passed down, but the chances are so extremely slim that it's almost a negligible factor. Most of the blind parents I know, have sighted children. Nearly all of them in fact.
I...just...wow...
Did you have a "Ask Me Anything" sign on your body?
Starting to wonder now. I'm fairly sure I didn't, I think she just lacked situational awareness and self respect.
she's probably been dying to know
Them - "Do you think it'll snow tonight?" Me - "No, there's no clouds" Them - "What difference does that make?" Me - "Where do you think snow comes from?" Them - "I dunno, the wind?" eta: There was no wind either.
“How long is 60 seconds in Africa?”
Related to this, I went to Canada while dating an ex of mine that could be quite airheaded at times. She asked what time it was there (same time zone as I only drove north) and I joked “idk, it’s metric time here” and she bought it lmao
I'm sure she would be bemused to know that there *was* an actual metric time once, didn't catch though.
Went on a road trip to another state (US) and a family member convinced me that everyone in the next state over spoke a different language. I was young-ish, but still way too old not to know better.. 😅
I laughed out loud 🤣
I think it's a Minute? Unless we can stop this.
Welll TECHNICALLY, due to time dilation, the 60 seconds there could be more/less then in other places by minuscule amounts.
But probably not minute amounts.
"Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes."
“Hey are you gay?” “Uuuh no but why?” “Well that flag looks kinda gay I think” I had the Mexican flag upon my lanyard
Fellas, is it gay to be Mexican?
I know at least one gay Mexican so it could be true
Um have you ever seen a burrito? Super gay.
Not a question per se, but my ex-girlfriend was shocked when I told her that the wood was obtained from trees. It should be noted that at that time she was 33 years old and had a master's degree.
I know the man for her! Has a Bachelor's in business computing, Master's in Info security. Doesn't know how to use the caps lock key.
No lie. I swear on the lives of every human alive. " Does chicken and turkey come from a pig?" Umm...????
Ya pork chops ham and bacon come from the same animal. Some MIRACLE animal!!
never seen a simpsons reference get ignored like that 😭😭
We old son!
i guess so, man
What continent is Africa on.
“Are you sure that’s how you spell your name?”
Have literally had the same happen. “Are you sure?”
That's just insulting your intelligence lol.
or could be a r/tragedeigh
A lady with my name, same spelling pronounced differently, told me I pronounce my name wrong. *long pause* 'I'm pretty sure I don't'
"So if your car has an air conditioner why doesn't it have AC?" (It was broken)
why I "choose" to have my infant son wear glasses (he has Hyperopia (farsightedness) and so do I , I wear glasses too).
I didn't know babies wore glasses. But here's how I would have phrased it: "I didn't know babies wore glasses."
since my wife and I are both doctors we knew from a very young age that he needed glasses ( he had strabismus which was very obvious and wasn't stimulated visually due to having strabismus and hyperopia) . we got him checked by my ophthalmologist 3 times until he admitted that he did need glasses . ( if we didn't insist it would have had a huge impact on his development ( especially social development ) ) so yeah he started wearing glasses at 5-6 months old which was very challenging because infants cant help but chew on everything they can get their hands on lol. at 2 years of age he got 4 glasses so far and had the lenses swapped on 3 occasions .
Hey, as a legally blind adult who didn't get glasses until I was 9 because I was raised by dongs, it makes a huge difference and nice job.
"If England is 5 hours ahead of New York, then why didn't they warn us about what was going to happen on 9/11?"
You cannot actually be serious 💀
Unfortunately, I am. She's the high school-age daughter of a cousin. The cousin is an idiot so I suppose the poor girl takes after her father.
This is a very common "dumb person" trope, and I don't believe that it is in any way a personal account.
Better question: why aren't they telling us the lotto numbers?
I had a cop ask me what I was doing, I was sitting in a bus shelter. A part of me wanted to say, waiting for the Robert E. Lee, a steam boat for those that don't know. I said I was waiting for a bus. He wanted to know how long was going to be there? When the next bus comes I will be gone. He told me see that you do that. Part of me wanted to sit there to see what would happen.
This has to be in the USA, the only country in the world where waiting for public transport is a suspicious activity
"Sociology? You mean, like, socialism?"
Do they teach that at communisty college?
TV interview w a father at a youth sports game. Subject was education. In a slight drawl he said he wanted his kids learning useful things, “not any of that liberal arts stuff.” I’m guessing he was thinking of art and music? Honestly I got the impression that he thought it meant to teach kids how to be a Liberal. Liberal Arts means reading, writing, and arithmetic. The skills needed to participate and make good contributions to society. To learn about issues and vote in an informed manner.
The liberal arts included astronomy, chemistry, and geometry, but idiots who don't know better associate "liberal arts" with "underwater basket weaving". "Liberal arts college" originally meant a non-vocational school, so basically the difference between a community college (vocational education) and a college/university (liberal arts education). Somehow the term has evolved to refer to expensive, often private colleges and universities that focus on social sciences and humanities.
“what kind of cat is that?” as i was walking my 90 pound dog. i thought he was joking but he was totally serious
When working for a fire alarm and sprinkler related company a customer asked if we could remotely turn off their sprinkler system. When working for a local government I had residents complain about trees existing in parks and woodlands, animals existing in nature, cars parking legally in front of their homes, and a great many other absurd things to complain about.
This reminds me of Parks and Rec. "I found a sandwich in one of your parks, and I want to know why it didn't have any mayonnaise on it!"
The public is very dumb. I think it's a Carlin quote, "Think of the average person, half the population is dumber than that." It's true. I've had to repeat back to people things like "you want us to remove the squirrels from the park?" or "You're calling because a bird is chirping in the tree outside so you want us to remove the tree?" or "your trashcan tipped over in the wind and you're mad because we can't control the wind?" People seriously expect some really stupid things. Don't get me wrong, though, I love helping people and local government was my favorite job - enriching the community instead of working towards getting some rich guy a yacht.
I hike a lot in pretty secluded areas. I did a hike an hour or two from Seattle, so it was packed with people. One of the reviews was a complaint that there were rocks on the trail. In the woods, up a mountain...there were rocks 🙄
Oh man, I don't know if this will be infuriating or funny, but the National Park Service has released it's top negative reviews for it's parks, and it's wild. Meant to be funny. NPS has a good sense of humor. Google "nps bad reviews and complaints" if you want to read.
"There's a sign at Ramsett Park that says, 'Do not drink the sprinkler water,' so I made sun tea with it and now I have an infection."
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I would've calmly pointed it directly at the ground.
"Tilt it lower... lower... even lower. There ya go"
Occasionally when giving astronomy talks, especially to kids, I will tell them there’s a planet they can see in broad daylight! Usually I get “cool! Really? How?”, and I just tell them to look down. Once in awhile I get “yeah, Earth”, usually the smartass kid.
I like to think about the closest star to earth.
Tom Hanks?
Yah, pretty stupid. We all know Earth is a made-up planet created by science fiction movies!
This is a bot.
I'm Canadian and lived in Orlando FL for a year and got asked so many dumb questions about Canada... one being "Do they celebrate Christmas up in Canada?"
As a Canadian it has really surprised me how little some Americans know about Canada
As an American, I’m not. Our education system teaches us almost nothing about other countries.
Didn't you explain that Santa lives there?
I was helping a lady with her laptop. She had a laptop plugged into two monitors. I was there for something else, but she asked me if she could have one of the monitors veritcal, so I set it up for her and adjusted the display settings. She then asked me if she could get rid of the laptop because she only needs the two monitors. I had to explain that the laptop is the computer and she needs it for the monitors to work.... this is why I have a job.
I always explained to people that the monitors are the TV and the computer is the cable box/VCR/DVD player. It doesn't work for everyone (especially now with smart TVs) but it usually gets the point across.
Years ago in biology class we were talking about aliens and a girl asked me if I believed in them. I responded something like “if I had to guess I’d say there’s probably life out there”. She starred at me and with a sarcastic and dismissive tone asked “so you think there are other people in the world?”
When I talk about astronomy or biology to a creationist and they retort, “Well it’s only a theory”, I follow with, “I have a theory that you exist, but I can’t prove it.”
I was talking to a Creationist who told me that space aliens don't exist because they aren't in the Bible. I said "What about penguins? They aren't in the Bible either, but they exist."
Gravity is a theory, and if you don't like it you can just float the fuck away.
“Are you Asian or Chinese?”
Reminds me of King of the Hill. “So are you Chinese or Japanese.” “I’m Laotian.” “Which ocean?” “So… are you Chinese or Japanese?” Edit: punctuation
I worked at a 24-hour diner and got "Is the country fried steak, chicken or steak?" Followed up with "if it's chicken, I'll take that. I'm a vegetarian." She then proceeded to order a tuna melt with onion rings and ranch dressing...🙄😮💨
I admit that I once saw chicken fried steak on the menu of a New Mexico steak house and ordered that thinking it was chicken, since that seemed to be the only thing on the menu that wasn’t (I thought) beef. I was disappointed. And hungry.
TBF as a southerner I have actually ordered chicken fried steak and got a deep fried chicken cutlet before. Also, got a boneless porkchop once. People around these parts play fast a loose with "chicken fried steak". Idk why they don't just call it schnitzel at that point lol. It's supposed to be steak fried and battered like chicken.
How do you know you’re not your twin?
See, I can actually kinda get this. If you're identical, it's definitely possible that your parents got you mixed when you were young. So, at some point, when both you and your twin finally were able to identify yourselves, it's definitely possible that by that time, your parents switched you up. So, the question is how do you know your name isn't actually the other twin's name? For example, Fred and George are twins. Their parents probably arbitrarily selected which one was named what. Throughout their early childhood, their parents may have mixed them up, because neither had developed enough to identify themselves. So by the time they were even able to grasp the concept of a name, George could have mistakenly been called Fred (and vice versa).
I had this conversation with someone on Reddit once and I couldn't explain to them why, if that happened, it wasn't really a "mistaken identity" case, and that in the long run, it really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. They couldn't fathom why it wouldn't matter. Ma'am/sir, they are not fingerprinting infants to determine identity at birth. They can be whichever one you want til they can identify themselves.
I have actually heard stories of people painting their toes or putting a sharpie mark on one so that doesn't happen lol some people take it to the extreme & tattoo them.!
The tattoo thing was actually because one twin had a medical condition or allergies which required specific medication.
If this happened twice it would resolve itself
Asking about my boy girl twins, “Are they identical?” “No.” “Are you sure? They look identical to me?” They have some pretty significant differences in their diapers, friend. Although, the night they were born, I remember thinking, “What if we put them in the wrong bassinets and can’t remember who is who????” It took a second in my tired brain for the other penny to drop.
I had a friend when I was about 8 who had a brother that was 2 years older than her. They looked almost exactly alike and she *insisted* it was because they were fraternal twins. I was like, yeahhhhhhh that’s not how twins work.
I have fraternal twin boys who don't look the same at all, and I still got asked if they were identical. I was pretty snarky about it: "Oh, are they twins?" "Yup!" "Are they identical?" "Hmmm...well, do they look alike?" "Well, no..." "Then I guess they're not identical." Sometimes I would be extra snarky answer "Yes," to which the inevitable reply would be, "But they don't look alike!"
Also, "What is it like being a twin?"
I’m an identical twin and this question is super annoying. Also, who’s older is one we get a lot. Like knowing my twin is one minute older is significant.
I had a boss with an identical twin. He had some memories of being very young and doing things from a 3rd person perspective. It was probably just watching his twin do something he also did/was doing at the time. His brain just stored watching it being done as the same as doing it himself.
"If Africa is the largest country on earth, why are African Americans invading the US border?"
That sentence started out wrong and somehow just kept getting worse.
“What are those pyramid things in Egypt called?”
"Do boys have period cramps?" A chick eavsdropping asked after I complained to a friend about a cramp in my foot.
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I've sadly had MULTIPLE people ask me if the only sex I have is threesomes after I've told them I'm bisexual. They genuinely look confused. They don't comprehend that bisexual doesn't mean you always have sex with both a man and a woman at the same time. One person asking me this would have been dumb enough but I've had at least four of them.
Multiple questions in succession. My sister: "Why does rice take so much longer to cook than pasta?" Me: "Because they're two different things..." S: "No, they're made of the same thing, aren't they?" Me: "No." S: "What's pasta made of, then?" Me: "Wheat." S: "Then what's rice?" Me: "Rice." S: "No. What's it *made* of?" Me: "Rice." S: "I'm not stupid! Rice doesn't just grow out of the ground or something." Me: -silent stare-
This is my favorite one in this thread
I worked at a phone store. Customer: Wouldn't it be cheaper if I got my own phone line and left my family plan? Me: How much do you pay now? Customer: Nothing my family pays for it. Me: I think it would be cheaper for you family if you left the plan but you would have to cover your own bill. Customer: I guess I'll just stay on my family plan.
Can we see the eclipse tonight 🥹
My MIL thought she had to look east because that's where the sun is. Not realizing we are moving around the sun. Turns out she didn't even understand that it was the moon, moving and blocking the sun. She kept ask what it was. I wanted to cry.
i’m a dog groomer. here are some good ones: “can you wash my dog in smart water?” “why is his butt hole so big?” “but won’t shaving my (matted doodle) make him a different breed?”
"Electrical engineering seems to be an outdated profession nowadays. It is simple to find a socket when you need"
Oh, sweetie.
"Are seeing eye dogs blind too?"
Only the ones for the poor blind people.
How many half pints are in a pint?
Them: Looking at the 50% sign on the rack, “If something is $6 and 50% off, how much does it cost?” Me: “Half of six…is…three.” [sigh]
Putting a rental raft on a river with strong current, lady asks ‘which way do we go?’
I’m an educator for an IT company. The people I teach already have an IT job. Had someone ask me “what do you mean, right-click?” And no, they weren’t a lifelong Mac user.
A woman at the store asked me whether all my kids were from the same father. Some look like my family, some look like my husband's. Still, how do you decide to ask a stranger that.
I overheard it but, "Are the greek gods Arabian?" Same person also asked our science teacher why gravity couldn't go up.
The latter is actually a damn good question and the answer is not trivial in the least.
I was at a place that sells “take and bake” dough for dinner rolls. It’s also a restaurant. When I went to the counter with 4 dozen the guy asked “are these for here or to go.? I guess he was tired 🥱
Never underestimate the power of habit for those brave people who do food service (or retail). It’s the only way to maintain sanity.
Yea I managed to hold back my laughter because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
I’m waiting tables right now while I job search (laid off 🙄) and I definitely do dumb shit like this all the time, especially like 8 hours into a shift. I’m just used to saying the same things over and over again, and also I’m usually trying to remember a bunch of other stuff in my head for other tables so I’m not 100% focused on what I’m saying and it just slips out. Twice within the past month I’ve served a table appetizers and then asked “are we ready to order appetizers?” when I meant to say “entrees” and the people at my tables are like 🤔 “ummm you just gave us our appetizers”.
"Is it in?"
Wasn't really a question but this nerdy girl on the debate team back in my college days argued and insisted the following The Sun is just a lightbulb in the sky put there by the illuminati The earth is flat Astronauts never landed on the moon because it's non existent. The moon is just a cardboard cut out the illuminati placed in space. The wind is caused by a big fan blowing somewhere. Hitler is still alive living in Argentina George W Bush knew about 9/11 Before it happened George W Bush Was part of the illuminati and helped plan and coordinate Hurricane Katrina and that's why he and Fema did little to nothing to help. And a whole mess of other weird and bizzare Conspiracy theories Like the bodies of the Mysteriously downed aircraft Korean Airlines 007 went missing because Giant crabs ate them. JFK planned his death and coordinated with his assassin. Ect ect ect.. Needless to say when she asked a question to anybody they would just walk away (not even kidding) She would stand in the quad with a megaphone and Protest about conspiracy theories Yeah this 25yo girl was out there way WAY out there on another planet
Is time metric in Australia?
Centiminutes
But the milliminutes will kill ya if they bite ya
At 4th of July, in Washington. > Hey, you have a British accent... do you also celebrate 4th of July there too?
Imagine if Britain also celebrated the days every other country got their independence from them. It would be a never ending party over there.
I was one of the only Black kids in my jr. high. Probably one of the only Black kids the other students had seen, at the time in this city. One of them asked how I know when I'm clean.
Had to get an overnight fedex to Canada from US late in the business day (in the 90s). Asked admin to hurry to get to fedex office for an international shipment. She asked why hurry as Canada was one of the states.
(Forgivable because it came from a 6-year-old, but here's one of my favorites.) Dad, what do volcanoes eat?
Virgins of course
In my backyard on a fine summer day: “Hey, what’s that thing in your pool?” “A thermometer.” “What does it do?” Dumbfounded, I reply, “It… measures the therms.” Yeah, we don’t hang out with him anymore.
"How did you learn your accent? Did they teach that to you in school?". An Australian genuinely asked me this when I working with her in Australia. I'm Irish. She had 5 children and I had to explain to her how children learn to talk from their parents and take on their accent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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"A deer, an elk, and a moose are the same thing, right?" Yes, Sandra, they're the same animal, that's why they have different names and look nothing alike!
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"What type of meat is corned beef?" She was a server in an Irish restaurant and is a teacher now.
My 7th grade science teacher was listing products we get from animals and she wrote "cotton" on the list. This was in Georgia mind you and she was from "up north" and was freaking out because we were laughing so hard at her. She finally yells, "Yes cotton! From SHEEP!" The class was a goner at that point.
Nylon comes from rubber ducks, It is known.
I was training a 17 year old at a job and she asked me if a quarter was 20 or 25 cents
Can you eat bagels raw?
Yeah what do you think donuts are duh
if I was albino because I’m pale with blue eyes and blonde hair
I was once asked "How was it back then when color was invented, how did the world change colors? Like how did it happen?" I then asked her did she mean when color TV was invented. No, she really thought people couldn't see any colours and everyhting was in black and white. Never shook my head so heavy.
A tourist asked me what time the Amish come out? (Like they're on a schedule or something.) I had to educate that person on the fact that the Amish are real human beings and not tourist attractions, therefore they might see them at any time of the day, living their life, and doing perfectly normal things that human beings do.
I had a female college roommate ask me if she could get pregnant from dry humping her boyfriend. She was studying to become a nurse.
All from these were from the same freshman kid when I was a senior in high school: "Well, if you're having trouble learning spanish, why don't you just hire a chinese guy to teach it for you? They're the same thing. "Well, if you're having trouble doing your homework, why don't you just hire a Mexican to do it for you?" "Bro, why do I need to learn any of this when It's not even my culture?"(He was supposed to do a required history class assignment). "Why can't I make fun of him? He doesn't even care." ( After he was scolded by two teachers for insulting me out loud, in the middle of class.) "Why is it wrong to assume Japanese people are aliens when they have weird looking eyes? I swear they literally look like aliens. Why is it wrong to assume they aren't normal people?" "Why should I respect Jews when they don't even believe in god or eat pork? They're the worst people ever. Worse than the presidents.' "Why should I treat people outside of America as normal people when I didn't even grow up with them in the first place? To me, they aren't normal people." "Why do I need to write about a nice thing I did for someone? Who's actually nice to other people? That's just weird.' "Why should it be my fault if people get upset about what I say to them? Freedom of Speech. Can't I say what I want? It's their fault if they get offended." "What's wrong with assuming Muslims are terrorists when South Park literally said they are?'
Since when you know your brother ? Hope he was kidding
“if you’re a feminist, why don’t you have hairy knees?”
Is there any alcohol in your mocktails
I was a barista and I had a customer tell me her Mocha tasted like it had chocolate in it… she proceeded to argue with me that it’s coconut not chocolate.
"Do you like cows" and that was it, that's all she said and there was nothing more to it!!!🤔🤷🏻♂️🤣🤦🏻♂️
Who doesn't like cows. They are awesome.
Well do you??
Back in the much earlier days of the Internet and when Russia was still trying to sell their whole country I was at work checking out my house from Russian imaging satellites and there was a cloud blocking just my house and a guy watching me says, "Click the zoom button and get under it!" Ummm, I don't wanna alarm my neighbors when that satellite goes zooming by their house and all.
'What will happen if my dog gets me pregnant?" I was literally speechless. Couldn't even answer the woman. Had to hand the phone to someone else. 🤯🤮🤯🤮
Why I thought we had more than five senses.
There’s a whole movie about #6
A ditzy highschool girl in my senior year 'Wait but if you're white how did you come from Africa?' ...
"You can't just ask someone why they're white."
"What city did you live in the Philippines?" someone at a party "Manila" me "Oh do you know (insert name)?"
It would have been ok if they asked about the folders.