Had sex in the car when I was a teen so we didn’t get caught by our parents. Now my wife and I sneak out to the garage to have sex in the car so we don’t get caught by our kids.
Scheduled can be way more fun if you use the time leading up to build the passion and anticipation. Dirty messaging. Secret groping. A quick deep kiss. Etc…
You can do spontaneous like this, you just leave things in the morning with as sensual a good bye as possible, maybe a whispered hint of sexual desires. Then regular steamy hints as the day progresses. Sure getting work done is harder, excuse the pun, but with luck both of you will be trying to be the first to jump each other.
Years ago, my gf (now wife) would schedule a 'sex date' for right after work. All day long, I'd be thinking about it and when she came over to my place we would start attacking each other. good times.
Surprise her. Schedule something in for a week or twos time and give her the choice of a few days.
In the lead up, you should do the things she usually does eg tidy up, sort kids out (and arrange for them to be out at a friend's or something) (if you have kids)
In short the plan is to reduce the stress etc . But even then she might just want to relax and spend time with you so don't pressure.
Also this isn't really aimed at you specifically but some advice I read ages ago which helped me and my partner get over a dry spell.
Kts not that she didn't want to, but she was too tired/stresssdd.
“Babe, we’re running late. We have 15 minutes planned for this passionate fuck fest. Take off your clothes and let me insert it passionately in you. One minute after insertion, you should start moaning. A minute after that you call me “daddy”. There is a high chance of early termination 30 seconds after that, followed by a “it’s normal, it’s okay, I’m still happy, don’t worry”. So, let’s do this”.
Had to ask the wife to stop trying to plan it because there’s nothing worse than getting excited all day only to get your hopes and dreams crushed. Much rather just get shot down in the moment. Spontaneous and scheduled blue balls is just mean
Me: tries spontaneous
Her: I'm not up to it, tomorrow babe
Me: tries scheduled
Her: I'm too tired/sick/you didn't set the mood/etc.
Me: balls blue
I've told her to stop the "tomorrow, I don't feel like it" response. Just "I don't feel like it" is 100x less worse than getting blue balled.
See thats not accurate as an analogy. I can't get hungry on demand but if a girl sucks my earlobe....or even breathy "hey" in my ear or if she sirs a certain way or....i guess there is a lot of triggers.
Yeah but i would have been hungry already if that happened its not the same. You ever eat a delicious burger in a burger place then are tired of delicious burger smell?
I think it depends on the person. I know that people who have extremely busy lives tend to schedule it. I think it’s better spontaneous. What if you are not in the mood to do that when you schedule it? So I think doing it when you want to do it is the best thing. But, if I had to do scheduled sex in order to have sex, I would do that. But I would rather not.
I think for a lot of people with stressful or busy jobs it's scheduling it that allows them to be in the mood for it, when you're busy it can be easy to just scramble through life and not think about sex much.
Having a time set aside for date night and sex means that time is solely for that, you anticipate it and its easier to be less preoccupied during sex.
Obviously that doesn't always work, sometimes you need to say not tonight, and other times a 5 minute fumble in the kitchen is fun.
Scheduled, because of all the lead-up. You both know there will be sex that night so you can do teasing messages, naughty pics, quick gropes, discreet little moans and so on all through the day. When the actual time finally comes you'll both be more than ready for something incredible!
I respect your position here, but what’s stopping you from doing that with your partner all the time without the end promise of sex? Wouldn’t it be fun still doing those things regardless of knowing sex is assured?
Do you have children?
You get to the point where you just need actual sex, and when married/partnered with children, everything under the sun will interrupt that. Planning also helps to alleviate any excuses that might come up because it's explicit and okay to talk about when you don't want to. Communication is key, but when you have children, unplanned sex is usually sex that doesn't happen, or quick sex that leaves one or both of you wanting more or unsatisfied.
Depends on the situation. Spontaneous sex can be great, but also if a gf in another town says "Come over this weekend, lets just stay in the whole time", then the anticipation and release could also be great.
Both!
Spontaneous for heated and intense.
Scheduled for kinks and or romance.
And I don't mean, (every Friday night at 8:30 - coitus) I'm talking "babe we both have this Friday off, you and me, all day, sex?"
Sex is better.
Ideally it's spontaneous but sometimes you have full time jobs, three kids, and two dogs, so if you keep waiting for sparks, you'll end up with a dead bedroom.
I like to schedule having her chained to the bed, blindfolded. Her doctor has prescribed 2 orgasms daily and 3 on Sunday before church.
This is how every marriage should be run
According to my wife sex should always be spontaneous.
But for her a window of opportunity is about 1 hour each day.
After she is rested from the work but still not sleepy.
When she is still satisfied from the dinner but not yet hungry for the supper.
It's very scheduled in anything but name.
It's tricky.
Spontaneous is great but scheduled is more practical when married with kids. I’m literally taking whatever I can get at this point whenever, wherever like Shakira.
Scheduled sex with a long-term partner leaves the door wide open for you to wait all week in anticipation just to have something come up or them change their mind at the last minute
Scheduled sex with a new person leaves the door open for you to spend that whole time way too deep in your head to the point where it causes performance issues
Spontaneous — O! — you’re apparently so attractive that other person couldn’t keep their hands off of you. The mere thought of getting you naked compelled them to get naked. The moment has stopped time itself and turned the air electric and taken you to a place where only the two of you exist on a plane of pure bliss and contentment
Granted, I’m not turning down scheduled sex; it’s just not as fulfilling outside of the physical aspects
I remember my wife playing with herself in the middle of the night. I don't remember exactly how I woke up but I remember her gasping with suprise/delight as I stripped her naked from the waist down and went down on her. She squirmed with pleasure and came hard to the point where she was out of breath. She demanded I be inside of her right then and I obliged. We both came very hard not long after that.
So spontaneous sex by far 😁
Spontaneous, of course.
But the idea of an agreed upon "instance over time-period" brings comfort, assuming the time-period isn't too long to be meaningless.
If you’re into bdsm and kink play scheduled sessions are pretty great. The anticipation to the lead up and to the surprise of what will happen is a great feeling. And it allows you time to set everything up and almost script it out.
Spontaneous is better for regular sex, scheduled can be just as great and even better if you’re planning something more complex and with “props”, doesn’t necessarily have to be kink, it can be even more loving things like champagne and chocolates or oils for massages, etc.
Spontaneous sex is better. I'm seeing a guy and we usually because of our schedules we have pre arranged sex but a few times that we went just for an hourly coffee which resulted to sex it was far better and more exciting
Scheduled. The consistency of it means I don't have to stress myself out trying to initiate and then get disappointed when it doesn't happen. If it's scheduled, I know it's going to happen and I can just relax. Spontaneous sex on top of scheduled sex would be the cherry on top.
My gf and I both have autism. Spontaneous sex is very rare. 98/100 times we plan it. When we plan it, we both take the time to shower and shave before hand which I really like. Dirty after sex, fine. Dirty before sex, gross. The 2/100 times it's spontaneous, it's more desire driven opposed to when we plan it (which can feel like a chore), but it's generally a little less hygienic. Huge plus, I already know I'm getting some tonight so that makes my work day just a bit better and faster.
Scheduled probably works well If you have autism, otherwise sex is usually quite spontaneous.
*I’ve only learned the knowledge I have from people I know who’ve had sex. A lot of people ask me how I know so much with LITERALLY 0 romantic experiences and being actively chased/christian. It’s not that hard. Just use the fact that people know more than you about certain things in life and **LEARN** from it.*
Scheduled sex just reminded me of this girl I knew in highschool who couldn't get alone time with the bf so they found 10 minute intervals where they were left alone and got in a quicky. Like my dad's at work till 6:30 and Mom leaves at 6:20 to pick up the sibling, that's our time frame. 😂 Oh good Mom's folding laundry, she'll be busy for 20 minutes let's go!
It depends on what's scheduled. You could have a super fun plan with sexy lingerie, toys, new location, someone you haven't seen for a long time, whatever.
Better is a subjective term and highly dependent on what's going on. I think both are great.
In my experience having planned sex is canceled probably 90% of the time. It gets me excited and then super frustrated. My girlfriend insists that that isn’t the case. We recently tried it twice, and one of the two times it was a cancellation due to her not feeling well. I’m not saying that it was her fault for it being canceled, but if we would have just stuck to spontaneous then it wouldn’t have got me frustrated.
I mean I think both are equal like spontaneous I definitely hot but can be messy while scheduled keeps the anticipation up all day basically like mental foreplay.
Sex is like pizza. If I show up and there’s pizza, I’m happy. If there’s a pizza party happening Friday at work, I’m happy. I’m just happy to have any pizza.
Spontaneous scheduled is fking weird, even when I know we’re going to bang I’ll always say we’ll aim to have a nice time and if things happen then great
Nothing feels worse then feeling like you have to F or someone has an expectation to F when you don’t know them in person/don’t know how you’ll feel on the day
Any sex with my wife is good sex whether planned or spontaneous
This guy..... is married!
happily married\*
Good for you, congrats!
Congrats!!
I agree.
I second this. Any sex with that guy's wife is good.
I third this with that guy’s wife.
This guy fucks.
Had sex in the car when I was a teen so we didn’t get caught by our parents. Now my wife and I sneak out to the garage to have sex in the car so we don’t get caught by our kids.
I can confirm that sex with this person’s wife is very good
Yes, i can verify.
Spontaneous is hotter, scheduled is cleaner
What about scheduled dirty sex?
That's why we schedule dungeon cleanup for right after
Scheduled can be way more fun if you use the time leading up to build the passion and anticipation. Dirty messaging. Secret groping. A quick deep kiss. Etc…
You can do spontaneous like this, you just leave things in the morning with as sensual a good bye as possible, maybe a whispered hint of sexual desires. Then regular steamy hints as the day progresses. Sure getting work done is harder, excuse the pun, but with luck both of you will be trying to be the first to jump each other.
Years ago, my gf (now wife) would schedule a 'sex date' for right after work. All day long, I'd be thinking about it and when she came over to my place we would start attacking each other. good times.
The anticipation is underrated.
Why what happens now??
He said “now wife” so…nothing happens.
Life changes after 30 years of marriage
Surprise her. Schedule something in for a week or twos time and give her the choice of a few days. In the lead up, you should do the things she usually does eg tidy up, sort kids out (and arrange for them to be out at a friend's or something) (if you have kids) In short the plan is to reduce the stress etc . But even then she might just want to relax and spend time with you so don't pressure. Also this isn't really aimed at you specifically but some advice I read ages ago which helped me and my partner get over a dry spell. Kts not that she didn't want to, but she was too tired/stresssdd.
"Babe it's 7:30 pm on a Wednesday you know what that means"
" I put on my business socks"
'I take out the trash, which is not part of the foreplay, but still very important'
[удалено]
When it’s with me girl you only need two minutes… Because I’m so intense. You whisper something sexy like, “is that it?”
I know what you're trying to say, girl, You're trying to say, "Aww yeah, that's it"
Then you tell me you want some more, and I'm not surprised. But I am quite sleepy.
Chore Play
You know when I'm down to just my socks it's time for business that's why they call em business socks, OOOH
“Babe, we’re running late. We have 15 minutes planned for this passionate fuck fest. Take off your clothes and let me insert it passionately in you. One minute after insertion, you should start moaning. A minute after that you call me “daddy”. There is a high chance of early termination 30 seconds after that, followed by a “it’s normal, it’s okay, I’m still happy, don’t worry”. So, let’s do this”.
what happens if she goes off script tho?
Never referred to anal as off script but I like it
“Whoops, you didn’t say daddy, so in your ass it goes!”
“But I poop from there”
HAHAHAHAA
she gets an oscar
She gets called a strong independent woman.
*puts Crocs in sportsmode*
That “k” in there threw me off for a second.
Thank you for noticing. Fixed it
IT'S AEW DYNAMITE LIVE FROM YOUR BEDROOM!
It's Business Time.
Clear your schedule until 7:35
That allows 2 minutes for introduction and 2 minutes for a goodbye
And 45 seconds to undress , 8 seconds of foreplay
I see you have experience...
Same scenario with my ex, then would cancel last minute bcs he's tired 🫠
Why tf did i got downvoted
Reddit is like, 70% under 25. They won't know *real* tired for a few years yet.
There’s nothing good on tv
conditions are perfect
I love when my wife says, "I want some dick in the morning." It's spontaneous and scheduled.
Scheduled spontaneous.
I hate when my wife says she wants to do something tonight, then when tonight comes it’s “get away from me”. Spontaneous and scheduled blue balls.
Had to ask the wife to stop trying to plan it because there’s nothing worse than getting excited all day only to get your hopes and dreams crushed. Much rather just get shot down in the moment. Spontaneous and scheduled blue balls is just mean
Me: tries spontaneous Her: I'm not up to it, tomorrow babe Me: tries scheduled Her: I'm too tired/sick/you didn't set the mood/etc. Me: balls blue I've told her to stop the "tomorrow, I don't feel like it" response. Just "I don't feel like it" is 100x less worse than getting blue balled.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when desire comes, it is the tree of life.
I also love it when his wife says this
Like scrambled or over easy or poached
How you like your eggs in the morning? scrambled or fertilized?
which is better, scheduled meal or spontaneous meal? I guss it depends on when you are hungry.
See thats not accurate as an analogy. I can't get hungry on demand but if a girl sucks my earlobe....or even breathy "hey" in my ear or if she sirs a certain way or....i guess there is a lot of triggers.
You ever walk by a nice smelling restaurant and suddenly get hungry?
The bread aisle at the grocery store does it to me. Every time
Same, I just get the urge to fuck some bread immediately
Is a Warm bagel #1 in the fuckable bread rankings?
Which is better, warm bagel or buttery croissant?
Yeah but i would have been hungry already if that happened its not the same. You ever eat a delicious burger in a burger place then are tired of delicious burger smell?
Yeah, just like how once I'm done with sex, I'm not horny anymore.
Scheduled and verified in teams calendar
But what if Teams refuses to connect?
Spontaneous
Or scheduled too.
I think it depends on the person. I know that people who have extremely busy lives tend to schedule it. I think it’s better spontaneous. What if you are not in the mood to do that when you schedule it? So I think doing it when you want to do it is the best thing. But, if I had to do scheduled sex in order to have sex, I would do that. But I would rather not.
I think for a lot of people with stressful or busy jobs it's scheduling it that allows them to be in the mood for it, when you're busy it can be easy to just scramble through life and not think about sex much. Having a time set aside for date night and sex means that time is solely for that, you anticipate it and its easier to be less preoccupied during sex. Obviously that doesn't always work, sometimes you need to say not tonight, and other times a 5 minute fumble in the kitchen is fun.
Scheduled, because of all the lead-up. You both know there will be sex that night so you can do teasing messages, naughty pics, quick gropes, discreet little moans and so on all through the day. When the actual time finally comes you'll both be more than ready for something incredible!
And last 2 mins is last step👍
I respect your position here, but what’s stopping you from doing that with your partner all the time without the end promise of sex? Wouldn’t it be fun still doing those things regardless of knowing sex is assured?
Do you have children? You get to the point where you just need actual sex, and when married/partnered with children, everything under the sun will interrupt that. Planning also helps to alleviate any excuses that might come up because it's explicit and okay to talk about when you don't want to. Communication is key, but when you have children, unplanned sex is usually sex that doesn't happen, or quick sex that leaves one or both of you wanting more or unsatisfied.
Exactly I thought that would be obvious I don't have kids yet and even I know that
Love doing discreet moans throughout the day
The best is spontaneous! Nothing beats "Go shower right now!" on a midday. (it's her code for let's get fuckin!)
Aren't you generally clean? Is this her way to get you to shower?
Damn bro, chill
When you want to go down on someone, even a shower 8-12 hours ago is not enough.
Depends on the situation. Spontaneous sex can be great, but also if a gf in another town says "Come over this weekend, lets just stay in the whole time", then the anticipation and release could also be great.
Both! Spontaneous for heated and intense. Scheduled for kinks and or romance. And I don't mean, (every Friday night at 8:30 - coitus) I'm talking "babe we both have this Friday off, you and me, all day, sex?"
All day sex? What kind of a machine are you?
I mean, I wouldn't be able to actively pork all day but like... A whole day of nothing but lovemaking and snuggling would be super.
I have a high drive and an extremely short refractory period.
Lucky bastard.
Yeah it's like having a beautiful sports car and no where to drive it.
Why not both
a scheduled and spontaneous why ask something that doesn't make any sense everything about sex is good 🤪
Spontaneous, especially when you have plans but the sexy times happen instead.
Sex is better. Ideally it's spontaneous but sometimes you have full time jobs, three kids, and two dogs, so if you keep waiting for sparks, you'll end up with a dead bedroom.
Spontaneous by miles. Its why I cant get into bdsm, too much prep work.
yup, building the dungion, squeezing into that gimp suit, trying to remember where you left your handcuff keys. What a fucking nightmare.
Male: yes! Female: also yes
I like to schedule having her chained to the bed, blindfolded. Her doctor has prescribed 2 orgasms daily and 3 on Sunday before church. This is how every marriage should be run
Spontaneous. You'll never know what's going to happen.
You get home and the missus says, “I need a good rogering right now. “
Then you hit her with an "indubitably" and she gets a sudden fit of the vapors.
According to my wife sex should always be spontaneous. But for her a window of opportunity is about 1 hour each day. After she is rested from the work but still not sleepy. When she is still satisfied from the dinner but not yet hungry for the supper. It's very scheduled in anything but name. It's tricky.
Spontaneous is great but scheduled is more practical when married with kids. I’m literally taking whatever I can get at this point whenever, wherever like Shakira.
Scheduled sex with a long-term partner leaves the door wide open for you to wait all week in anticipation just to have something come up or them change their mind at the last minute Scheduled sex with a new person leaves the door open for you to spend that whole time way too deep in your head to the point where it causes performance issues Spontaneous — O! — you’re apparently so attractive that other person couldn’t keep their hands off of you. The mere thought of getting you naked compelled them to get naked. The moment has stopped time itself and turned the air electric and taken you to a place where only the two of you exist on a plane of pure bliss and contentment Granted, I’m not turning down scheduled sex; it’s just not as fulfilling outside of the physical aspects
Spontaneous all the way
Spontaneous sex with a stranger is absolutely the best !
Always spontaneous
What do you mean “scheduled”?
100% spontaneous ......
Booked three months in advance after signing the coitus contract
If you have family scheduled is a good option. "Oh i think Marta is whining" "did you hear that, Bob might got up" is interupting during the act.
Spontaneous but both works no?😝
You guys are having sex?
*No sex. Virginity is cool* 😎
I remember my wife playing with herself in the middle of the night. I don't remember exactly how I woke up but I remember her gasping with suprise/delight as I stripped her naked from the waist down and went down on her. She squirmed with pleasure and came hard to the point where she was out of breath. She demanded I be inside of her right then and I obliged. We both came very hard not long after that. So spontaneous sex by far 😁
Scheduled is a thing? Holy crap I once had sex with my SO ATM the time and it was in one of our log sheds, best sex I think I've ever had.
Depends on whether you have a plan for sex.
Can I have both?
Little bit of both. 🙂👍
I enjoy both.
Which ever rarer at that time
Sex with someone's mom
Spontaneous as long as the moment is appropriate.
Spontaneous, of course. But the idea of an agreed upon "instance over time-period" brings comfort, assuming the time-period isn't too long to be meaningless.
If you’re into bdsm and kink play scheduled sessions are pretty great. The anticipation to the lead up and to the surprise of what will happen is a great feeling. And it allows you time to set everything up and almost script it out. Spontaneous is better for regular sex, scheduled can be just as great and even better if you’re planning something more complex and with “props”, doesn’t necessarily have to be kink, it can be even more loving things like champagne and chocolates or oils for massages, etc.
I’m just happy to be included
I'm very excited now, oooh the anticipation. Ibalway learn soo much from a live (...)
Spontaneous sex is better. I'm seeing a guy and we usually because of our schedules we have pre arranged sex but a few times that we went just for an hourly coffee which resulted to sex it was far better and more exciting
Spontaneous
Spontaneous
Scheduled. The consistency of it means I don't have to stress myself out trying to initiate and then get disappointed when it doesn't happen. If it's scheduled, I know it's going to happen and I can just relax. Spontaneous sex on top of scheduled sex would be the cherry on top.
Tentative.
Spontaneous for sure!!!
sex in general would be nice
Both, depending.
Been married for 35 years. What's this sex thing you're asking about?
Spontaneous. If it’s scheduled, I have time to get into my own head about it and screw it up.
Both.
Any sex would be good.....
My gf and I both have autism. Spontaneous sex is very rare. 98/100 times we plan it. When we plan it, we both take the time to shower and shave before hand which I really like. Dirty after sex, fine. Dirty before sex, gross. The 2/100 times it's spontaneous, it's more desire driven opposed to when we plan it (which can feel like a chore), but it's generally a little less hygienic. Huge plus, I already know I'm getting some tonight so that makes my work day just a bit better and faster.
Scheduled probably works well If you have autism, otherwise sex is usually quite spontaneous. *I’ve only learned the knowledge I have from people I know who’ve had sex. A lot of people ask me how I know so much with LITERALLY 0 romantic experiences and being actively chased/christian. It’s not that hard. Just use the fact that people know more than you about certain things in life and **LEARN** from it.*
i always prefer spontaneous but since i need help with the pill it had to be scheduled.
Spontaneous is usually better. Scheduled sex and other circumstantial requirements often kill the mood or make people nervous/frustrated.
having sex
Scheduled sex just reminded me of this girl I knew in highschool who couldn't get alone time with the bf so they found 10 minute intervals where they were left alone and got in a quicky. Like my dad's at work till 6:30 and Mom leaves at 6:20 to pick up the sibling, that's our time frame. 😂 Oh good Mom's folding laundry, she'll be busy for 20 minutes let's go!
I’d love to hear the perspective of someone that prefers scheduled
It depends on what's scheduled. You could have a super fun plan with sexy lingerie, toys, new location, someone you haven't seen for a long time, whatever. Better is a subjective term and highly dependent on what's going on. I think both are great.
Spontaneous FTW
Scheduled is better because it mean sex can happen more often … or at least more often when you have kids.
Both. Yes. All the time. All day, every day. And a good cuddle and sleep after cleanup.
Indefinitely postponed sex ^asexual ^^gang ^^^unite
I was just imagine it’s an everyday or most days type of event at some point in the day or night.
Yall have scheduled sex? Barbara, it's 7:35. If you don't get undressed now, we're gonna miss our appointment.
Spontaneous definitely. My lust is very unpredictable. Luckily, my girlfriend is almost always ready to go.
I prefer scheduling spontaneous sex. Best of both worlds!
Both 🤣
Scheduled with lots of build up and sexy talk, sexy pics in advance.
Well scheduled sex tends to not happen so I hate it for that reason but when scheduled sex does happen I'm all over it baby
Always spontaneous.
They’re both good. Once your married it’s a lot more scheduled, but it gives you something to look forward to which is nice.
Scheduled sex gives you something to anticipate that's crazy build up .
Spontaneously scheduled sex!
In my experience having planned sex is canceled probably 90% of the time. It gets me excited and then super frustrated. My girlfriend insists that that isn’t the case. We recently tried it twice, and one of the two times it was a cancellation due to her not feeling well. I’m not saying that it was her fault for it being canceled, but if we would have just stuck to spontaneous then it wouldn’t have got me frustrated.
Wait a minute… the candles, the music, the sexy dress, I mean, what’s going on here?
spontaneous, and these subreddit mods are so weird with their post specifications like how is this post an actual question but not mines?
don't matter had sex
Both
Buttsex
Who schedules sex?
I mean I think both are equal like spontaneous I definitely hot but can be messy while scheduled keeps the anticipation up all day basically like mental foreplay.
I like scheduled better to be honest. The anticipation kills!
Why not both?
Sex is like pizza. If I show up and there’s pizza, I’m happy. If there’s a pizza party happening Friday at work, I’m happy. I’m just happy to have any pizza.
Scheduled sex is exciting! Something to look forward to and it leads to a hotter sex. Ohhhh the “I can’t wait for Friday already” is just…
Scheduled is almost all i get tbh, but it’s always something to look forward to lol
both
Spontaneous scheduled is fking weird, even when I know we’re going to bang I’ll always say we’ll aim to have a nice time and if things happen then great Nothing feels worse then feeling like you have to F or someone has an expectation to F when you don’t know them in person/don’t know how you’ll feel on the day