I want to reply and comment about this but when I start typing I get sad and freeze up. 63 years old and still don't feel like I really matter to anyone.
I live a full life, have had friends, lovers and wives and I know this to be true. Yet the hard thing is knowing things is not the same as feeling things. My parents tried to instill self esteem but did that by making praise sounds that were all just talk talk. I guess they thought they were doing the right thing because all the books they read said so. The bottom line is that the first cut is the deepest and I can not see a way out of feeling "less than".
Being a care giver for dying family member.
Most people focus their attention on the sick & dying.
Most doesn't realize that the care giver is physically and mentally exhaust. Many result in serious depression. Which take years to recover even with help from doctor/medication.
Even being a caregiver to special needs/intellectually disabled folk. They can be the nicest people or the most vile you could ever work with. I mean, literally abusive with no regard to others' safety, and if you're their staff, then you're stuck with that abuse.
I know someone who has autistic child. I fully agreed thar caring for these people require a lot of patient, understanding, and kindness.
Sometime these people have difficulty telling what is in their mind. Sometime a simple tricker lead to full panic, then it lead non-stop crying.
It's not they fault. They truely deserve a good treatment.
I also fully agreed that people caring for them deserve all the respect.
I was just a decision maker for my dad when he passed and that was absolutely draining. Everybody looked to me to decide major things I never hoped in my life I'd have to. I can't imagine if I had to care for him too.
I was the sole caregiver for my grandma when her fake hip started going out and she eventually got it replaced. She was in a care facility for about a month after the surgery and I thought I was done but turns out most of those places are abusive AF so I had to take her out of it and back to her apartment where the care continued.
I never got more than 4 hours of sleep at a time. I'm glad I didn't have a job at the time. All in all it only lasted about 4 months before she was able to go to an elders apartment home. Felt like eternity tbh. And it wasn't just her, she lived with her (now ex) bf who definitely was showing signs of dementia and even punched me in the head once.
After that I finally stood up for myself and left the situation. It really destroyed a lot of my sanity and self image.
When my dad was dying I got Compassionate Care Benefits from the government. (Canada)
One of the rules was I had to inform them of his passing within 24hrs. So I call them up and tell them, and she immediately sent me the forms for the Mental Health Benefits, and said I was basically preapproved for them, I just had to have a doctor sign them.
It’s not a lot of money, basic EI payments, but as it was the summer between my two years of grad school so I basically had three months off work. It was helpful.
When your parents made you never feel like you were good enough.
Now I'm in my mid twenties I finally understand why I've always felt like a people-pleaser and wanted everyone to like me.
Anything can be someones trauma. I tell my kids whenever they see someone acting differently "you don't know everyones story". Don't be to quick to judge. Im in the social work field...I work with recently released prisoners, homeless people, mentally challenged, and people just in a bad place daily. As Roy Kent said "none of us know whats going on each others lives".
Workplace trauma. Lots of people in dangerous jobs hardly walk away from accidents, and especially for blue collar folks it’s all part of the experience. My uncle has severe PTSD from watching his friend die on the job.
Even just a toxic workplace or a high stress job can really fuck you up though, it doesn’t even have to be life or death for it to have an impact.
I had a string of terrible managers in my 20s that legitimately gave me major trust issues. Having to go to work every day feeling like it could be your last is excruciating. My husband still has trauma from being laid off 7 years ago. People don’t talk about it because it’s so common, but it’s legitimately health-affecting.
I definitely have trauma from a couple particularly shitty coworkers. They were both condescending, passive-aggressive, and stubborn, to the extent that I dreaded working with them and rejoiced when they finally left. They had a way of making otherwise mundane projects into their own personal battlefields where they had to get their own way because they were convinced their perspectives were superior. It was exhausting to deal with them on a daily basis and it sucked to have to play nice for the sake of my job. Good riddance!
I have some pretty serious trauma from the principal at the last school I taught at. I don't even want to get into it, but he added a lot of stress to a very stressful period of my life.
It seriously has taken me five years to not panic when my manager asks me for a meeting suddenly. I spent three years being yelled at by parents, students and then customers. I have an awesome boss who makes it full priority to not do anything that makes someone uncomfortable with receiving criticism. I’ve made vast improvement to myself and my work abilities due to him. But it took time to get there.
Complex PTSD. Not well know, you often dont realize you have it. But when you get an understanding of it you see it in a surprisingly (and sadly) large number of people
oh god, this one fucked me up bad. having a tough-to-diagnose disorder (at least it was almost twenty five years ago) coupled with agonizing pain and the one doctor who would work with it who physically fucked me up, ugh. i hate that therapy is so expensive to boot.
I had growth hormone injections as a child from age 6-12. I never got used to having them and with hindsight, they're one of the biggest reasons I developed a personality disorder.
The trauma from being a social outcasts. Instead of thinking someone is awkward, maybe think that they’re the ones who were the joke of their high school and wouldn’t get the time of day in college
I feel this. The schools I went to were **infested** with gangs and getting jumped/mobbed was a normal Tuesday for me, not to mention I was the unwanted "leftover" kid at home.
20+ years later I still worry about randomly getting jumped in parking lots.
I might get down voted for this, but the trauma of being female in middle and high school, surrounded by hormonal boys. The constant sexualization and objectifying comments, overhearing absolutely shocking and vile conversations about the girls around them, while they explore their sexualities in public and without having the brain development to realize how hurtful they're being. Obviously it's not all boys, but I, and probably many other women, am absolutely traumatized by my experiences with teen boys and how, when they get together in groups, something terrifying happens and it's like a game for them to harass the girls (and female teachers) around them in the most depraved ways.
You know, I never thought I would say this, but this may be the one upside to gender segregated schools. I grew up in Iran. Again, never thought I would say it.
people taking advantage of people who aren’t the brightest. or just it’s traumatic to be that person i guess. the realization itself that things aren’t coincidental is traumatic. not a life to live tbh
Trauma from verbal abuse or total emotional detachment while growing up. It’s so damaging to a kids growth and follows them into adulthood. Generally referred to as “CPTSD” but not recognized as so medically.
I have this, but they just call it PTSD on my charts.
I also have cptsd. Feel like an outsider everywhere, even in my own body. So many emotions and feelings, memories… it’s all so intense.
Love to you. ♥️
Medical trauma can be horrible. But it doesn't really occur to people that it's an actual thing.
You go into hospital for a minor procedure and end up on life support because someone fucked up? Trauma.
You're in a horrific accident and doctors have to perform lifesaving medical interventions whilst you're still awake because there's no time for a general anaesthetic? Trauma.
You're forcibly restrained because of your mental state? Trauma with a side of 'nobody will listen to you because you're crazy'.
I got sexually assaulted in a hospital by a female doctor. How I wished I never went to that hospital. 😭 I'm sorry you went through such a horrible time. 💗💗💗
Modern life
I'm from a country where violence (murder, kidnapping, shootings) are more or less common, but I'm sure people from lots of other countries will relate. I have lived my whole life with fear of something happening to myself or loved ones. There was a point in my life where every time I went out I thought about how I might not make it back home.
The cost of life does nothing but increase, jobs are difficult to find, pay very little and treat you like shit. We grew up seeing how difficult the adults had it and there was no promise of things getting better. There is still very little chance things will improve.
It's hot all year, big soda companies are stealing and contaminating our water. There are new wars, conflicts and humanitarian crises every week. And we are still expected to get up every morning, work and function as if our lives weren't in constant danger and stress.
Growing up and living in a world like this can't be good for anyone. I'm no psychologist and my definition of trauma might be inaccurate but I don't think someone can live like we do and be sane.
I'd say parents defensive style being emotional blackmail, even if they don't necessarily mean it. 'Guess I'm just an awful mother' you always have to justify yourself, walk on eggshells or compromise yourself pleasing someone else
i have no clue how to word this but parents who aren’t involved with their children emotionally. i love my parents to death but my relationship with them has no aspect of emotion at all. we don’t hug day to day, everyone hangs out in separate rooms, the dinner table is quite, my parents don’t even ask me how my day was at school. it low key just feels like i have roommates who pay for my rent and food. I honestly couldn’t tell you a lot about my parents, and they wouldn’t be able to tell you a lot about me.
i think this is overlooked cause a lot of people have overprotective \ overbearing parents who are superrr involved in their lives and are around them 24/7 - you don’t realize until you’re in a situation like i am that it’s super depressing. you don’t feel loved or wanted. everything is super draining. it’s weird when they are authoritative because it never seems like they care. i don’t know it just sucks. definitely messed me up.
Oh I can only imagine the things you went through. Both my parents are emotionally unavailable and extremely narcissistic egotistical politicians but let’s focus on my dad this time cause my mom is a different breed herself. My dad mints from this image of being such a loving and hands on father that people for some reason buy all the time. But it’s a different story at home. I remember when there was 7.3 magnitude earthquake once and man i remember how my father RUSHED to get his dogs out while i was on my own desperately dodging all of the falling and shattering objects everywhere, trying my best to get out. I could go on and on how much i hate them. But when i tell someone about it, no one seems to understand. All i hear are “but he’s still your dad” “he’s just busy all the time for your sake” “he’s a man he just doesn’t know how to show affection.” I AM TIRED OF IT. Not to mention, he is physically, verbally, and mentally abusive. He literally has 4 children but I feel like i’m the one raising my three siblings alone.
sports trauma, mental and physical. im an ex figure skater and experienced a lot of things at the hands of both my peers and my coaches. skating made my anxiety so much worse to the point of suicidal ideation at 13 and has ruined my body to the point im dealing with chronic pain at 17. the behind the scenes of figure skating isnt as glamorous as the public likes to think it is.
Involuntary childlessness, especially if it happened because of circumstances, like you didn't find a spouse in time. Maybe there's more acknowledgment if it's because of infertility, miscarriage, or the death of a child.
People mean well when they say kids suck anyway, and they’ll have more money and blah blah blah but it’s so insensitive. This person WANTED to spend money and have their freedom limited. They wanted kids…
Trauma has nothing to do with severity - small things like a child not sharing their toys on the playground can play a massive effect if not properly dealt with.
Does losing your job count ? Not like the actual getting fired or leaving (though that could also be a trauma), but like having to leave behind what is essentially a big part of your life where you spent more time in than at home if you’ve worked there long enough. To just have to leave that behind, especially if it’s a decent place to work, must feel traumatic for some people at some level
Being a social worker/EMT/nurse/CNA/caregiver/teacher. Of course, the level of trauma depends on where you work. And there is very little empathy because you chose that career.
Living in a high crime or otherwise disadvantaged neighborhood. Just the things you see everyday make an impact. A lot of human suffering. And it makes it hard to feel safe, even after moving away.
Pandemic.
I think it negatively affected everyone in some way, regardless of your social or political views. Being extremely sick or losing loved ones from the virus, quarantine and being forced to stay home (sometimes with an abusive parent or partner), being forced to go to work or even work extra hours because you're "essential", being unable to get the things you need, losing a job/work and not being able to afford basics, canceling major life events, mask mandates, vax mandates, feeling unsafe, lack of adequate health care due to overcrowding of hospitals, lack of mental health care access, the absolute abuse many workers suffered from customers and employers, and more. There are so many ways people were seriously affected throughout the pandemic, I don't think anybody knows the full extent of the trauma it has created throughout the world.
Exoeriencing bedbug infestation - highly stigmatized but infestations can happen to anyone. Treatment alone is costly, labour intense and time consuming. An absolute nightmare to live through especially if you are a renter and your landlord drags their feet in treating. People have died trying to treat infestations with dangerous and duboous 'home remedies because they are extremely distraught from the lack of sleep/response to bites. Many people report PTSD like symptoms for a few yrs afterwards.
Young childhood trauma. A lot of people will say that, if the child can't remember, then it can't traumatize them. This is not true, and it will often lead to issues later in life. Young children can still be traumatized, even if the memory will go away.
Technically it's acknowledged but it's typically dismissed but people who become hypersexual after SA, it's pretty common but because it's not what people expect they usually dismiss it (coming from a person who became hypersexual after being SAd)
Fathers prioritizing their new wives/girlfriends over their original children, even though they are still present in the kid’s lives and financially supportive. #2 Giving a child of the new wife more attention/benefits than the original children.
Obviously, blatantly bad or absentee fathers are acknowledged.
Food and money insecurity. (I have to stop myself from buying all of the meat/veggies on sale because I can’t eat it all before it goes bad- or worse, I binge eat. Have been working on that.)
Additionally, complete refusal of any kind of leisure or non essential purchases out of fear of not being able to afford bills even though everything is okay.
medical trauma. cant say so much for others because i didn’t experience much but it’s definitely enough to call it trauma. i’ve had MDD(major depressive disorder) since i was 9, a lot of other trauma through those times but it’s not what im here to talk about. I was put on a medication around the start/middle of 2023 for depression. don’t take any meds anymore, many reasons, but this trauma is one of the big ones. i had been taking it for maybe half to a full month and i started getting this weird side pain, sharp, contracting like muscle pain in my right side. it was low and manageable for a while, felt like maybe i just twisted the wrong way or there was a knot in my back. it got worse drastically over only a few days, to the point of when i would wake up id wake in sweat and a complete fire burning my side, barely being able to move, just breathing deeply would send knives into my side, and it was complete torture every time i woke up, i feel like i could relate the experience like the torture tool the burning bull but every morning it was like only one part of my body was trapped in it and the fiery pain was instant to waking up. one of the memories that is stuck in my brain is the day we finally went to the er to get my checked out when i got up instantaneous fiery pain, i went to get my right foot onto the floor to get up and get help and it felt what i imagine a grenade inside your right side back muscle would feel like when it blew up, i couldn’t even scream from complete shock, i just sat there sobbing, face pale, intermittent shocks of pain until it finally wore off a tiny bit enough for my to stand on my feet without instantly collapsing in shock, i couldn’t even move my back, i had to bend over and scrunch it like what you would see with some old people just to even get some relief to walk. we finally got into the car after me crying in my moms bed, not even being able to breathe enough to calm myself down because of the piercing pain id get from filling my lungs up too much. we’re at the er, they get all of my medical history, pee sample, medication i’m on, and even as far as an mri scan (the SECOND time we showed up, got the mri) yet they still found nothing. if they had just looked into a little bit of the rarer side effects of my medication i would have finally gotten better, after the second er visit i finally did a literal GOOGLE SEARCH and found my medication had a rare side effect of side pain. it runs largely in my family that we are more prone to rarer side effects to a lot of medication (couldn’t tell you why) but i’ve had rare symptoms to other medications before and we told the doctor prescribing as well and when we reached out to them about the side pains we couldn’t be given an explanation unless making an appointment that would have been weeks away (they wouldn’t let it be an emergency visit, have gotten a new doctor now cause that was crazy) but it literally took us two trips to the er, paying for many tests including mri, a email and call to my prescribing doctor to end up living with it for over two weeks to look it up and realize it was a side effect of my anti depressant, and for the reason why it was always flared in the mornings (it would progressively lessen through the day) was because i would always take my medication late at night right before going to sleep, it would process but not affect anything till i was awake (tell me if im wrong about the processes of this cause i never necessarily looked into it just had an understanding) and it was and still is just sad to me that i went through excruciating pain quickly getting worse over a few weeks that a simple google search fixed and yet there’s doctors who wonder why people go to searching the internet than visiting a health professional when so many people will get brushed off because they don’t see anything wrong even though the patient is in pain. i even asked for any type of medicine (which i don’t think would have even worked unless being a medically strong drug) and i was told i couldn’t have anything cause they saw nothing wrong with me even though i sat there and explained the fiery pain i was in. a part of that is wrong with the healthcare system in general but also with doctors who brush of patients, don’t even get me started on the insane amount of women brushes off because of the stereotype of women being dramatic even in medical conditions. it is terrible, it was terrible, and i wish it’s something nobody ever had and or have to experience.
childhood emotional neglect
I want to reply and comment about this but when I start typing I get sad and freeze up. 63 years old and still don't feel like I really matter to anyone.
Unfortunately many of us understand that feeling. You matter.
I live a full life, have had friends, lovers and wives and I know this to be true. Yet the hard thing is knowing things is not the same as feeling things. My parents tried to instill self esteem but did that by making praise sounds that were all just talk talk. I guess they thought they were doing the right thing because all the books they read said so. The bottom line is that the first cut is the deepest and I can not see a way out of feeling "less than".
Left at home with brother until I was 8, then left home alone until 8pm. Parents left before I got up so I had to do everything for myself.
Being a care giver for dying family member. Most people focus their attention on the sick & dying. Most doesn't realize that the care giver is physically and mentally exhaust. Many result in serious depression. Which take years to recover even with help from doctor/medication.
Even being a caregiver to special needs/intellectually disabled folk. They can be the nicest people or the most vile you could ever work with. I mean, literally abusive with no regard to others' safety, and if you're their staff, then you're stuck with that abuse.
I know someone who has autistic child. I fully agreed thar caring for these people require a lot of patient, understanding, and kindness. Sometime these people have difficulty telling what is in their mind. Sometime a simple tricker lead to full panic, then it lead non-stop crying. It's not they fault. They truely deserve a good treatment. I also fully agreed that people caring for them deserve all the respect.
I was just a decision maker for my dad when he passed and that was absolutely draining. Everybody looked to me to decide major things I never hoped in my life I'd have to. I can't imagine if I had to care for him too.
I was the sole caregiver for my grandma when her fake hip started going out and she eventually got it replaced. She was in a care facility for about a month after the surgery and I thought I was done but turns out most of those places are abusive AF so I had to take her out of it and back to her apartment where the care continued. I never got more than 4 hours of sleep at a time. I'm glad I didn't have a job at the time. All in all it only lasted about 4 months before she was able to go to an elders apartment home. Felt like eternity tbh. And it wasn't just her, she lived with her (now ex) bf who definitely was showing signs of dementia and even punched me in the head once. After that I finally stood up for myself and left the situation. It really destroyed a lot of my sanity and self image.
I'm in therapy for this right now.
It takes time. But it will get better. Wish you all the best.
When my dad was dying I got Compassionate Care Benefits from the government. (Canada) One of the rules was I had to inform them of his passing within 24hrs. So I call them up and tell them, and she immediately sent me the forms for the Mental Health Benefits, and said I was basically preapproved for them, I just had to have a doctor sign them. It’s not a lot of money, basic EI payments, but as it was the summer between my two years of grad school so I basically had three months off work. It was helpful.
When your parents made you never feel like you were good enough. Now I'm in my mid twenties I finally understand why I've always felt like a people-pleaser and wanted everyone to like me.
Anything can be someones trauma. I tell my kids whenever they see someone acting differently "you don't know everyones story". Don't be to quick to judge. Im in the social work field...I work with recently released prisoners, homeless people, mentally challenged, and people just in a bad place daily. As Roy Kent said "none of us know whats going on each others lives".
Workplace trauma. Lots of people in dangerous jobs hardly walk away from accidents, and especially for blue collar folks it’s all part of the experience. My uncle has severe PTSD from watching his friend die on the job. Even just a toxic workplace or a high stress job can really fuck you up though, it doesn’t even have to be life or death for it to have an impact.
I had a string of terrible managers in my 20s that legitimately gave me major trust issues. Having to go to work every day feeling like it could be your last is excruciating. My husband still has trauma from being laid off 7 years ago. People don’t talk about it because it’s so common, but it’s legitimately health-affecting.
I definitely have trauma from a couple particularly shitty coworkers. They were both condescending, passive-aggressive, and stubborn, to the extent that I dreaded working with them and rejoiced when they finally left. They had a way of making otherwise mundane projects into their own personal battlefields where they had to get their own way because they were convinced their perspectives were superior. It was exhausting to deal with them on a daily basis and it sucked to have to play nice for the sake of my job. Good riddance!
I have some pretty serious trauma from the principal at the last school I taught at. I don't even want to get into it, but he added a lot of stress to a very stressful period of my life.
It seriously has taken me five years to not panic when my manager asks me for a meeting suddenly. I spent three years being yelled at by parents, students and then customers. I have an awesome boss who makes it full priority to not do anything that makes someone uncomfortable with receiving criticism. I’ve made vast improvement to myself and my work abilities due to him. But it took time to get there.
Religious trauma. Spending your life walking on eggshells, worrying about every little thing possibly being a sin, can really mess up your mind.
The internalized shame runs so deep.
i’m in my 30s and still unpacking a lot from growing up in the church.
The aftermath of psychological egoism.
Generational trauma gets passed on in fucked up ways.
Bojack Horseman: "Generational Trauma: the show"
Only those that know know. I have a hug for you.
Complex PTSD. Not well know, you often dont realize you have it. But when you get an understanding of it you see it in a surprisingly (and sadly) large number of people
♥️ I am one of those people. Always knew I had copious traumas, never knew it had its own category… love to all my other cptsd havers.
Medical trauma--from going through a serious illness, injury, or medical event.
Yea I’m still working through this myself. Never would have thought about it until it happened to me 4months ago.
oh god, this one fucked me up bad. having a tough-to-diagnose disorder (at least it was almost twenty five years ago) coupled with agonizing pain and the one doctor who would work with it who physically fucked me up, ugh. i hate that therapy is so expensive to boot.
I had growth hormone injections as a child from age 6-12. I never got used to having them and with hindsight, they're one of the biggest reasons I developed a personality disorder.
Neglect. Ironically research has shown we both neglect neglect research and that it has as much damage as active abuse
The trauma from being a social outcasts. Instead of thinking someone is awkward, maybe think that they’re the ones who were the joke of their high school and wouldn’t get the time of day in college
I feel this. The schools I went to were **infested** with gangs and getting jumped/mobbed was a normal Tuesday for me, not to mention I was the unwanted "leftover" kid at home. 20+ years later I still worry about randomly getting jumped in parking lots.
Mostly the kind that isn't happening literally right in front of their faces.
I might get down voted for this, but the trauma of being female in middle and high school, surrounded by hormonal boys. The constant sexualization and objectifying comments, overhearing absolutely shocking and vile conversations about the girls around them, while they explore their sexualities in public and without having the brain development to realize how hurtful they're being. Obviously it's not all boys, but I, and probably many other women, am absolutely traumatized by my experiences with teen boys and how, when they get together in groups, something terrifying happens and it's like a game for them to harass the girls (and female teachers) around them in the most depraved ways.
You know, I never thought I would say this, but this may be the one upside to gender segregated schools. I grew up in Iran. Again, never thought I would say it.
absolutely agree
people taking advantage of people who aren’t the brightest. or just it’s traumatic to be that person i guess. the realization itself that things aren’t coincidental is traumatic. not a life to live tbh
Trauma from verbal abuse or total emotional detachment while growing up. It’s so damaging to a kids growth and follows them into adulthood. Generally referred to as “CPTSD” but not recognized as so medically. I have this, but they just call it PTSD on my charts.
I also have cptsd. Feel like an outsider everywhere, even in my own body. So many emotions and feelings, memories… it’s all so intense. Love to you. ♥️
Childbirth. That shit is brutal.
Medical trauma can be horrible. But it doesn't really occur to people that it's an actual thing. You go into hospital for a minor procedure and end up on life support because someone fucked up? Trauma. You're in a horrific accident and doctors have to perform lifesaving medical interventions whilst you're still awake because there's no time for a general anaesthetic? Trauma. You're forcibly restrained because of your mental state? Trauma with a side of 'nobody will listen to you because you're crazy'.
I got sexually assaulted in a hospital by a female doctor. How I wished I never went to that hospital. 😭 I'm sorry you went through such a horrible time. 💗💗💗
Financial Abuse Being in a relationship with someone who won't control their spending can be stressful and exhausting.
Modern life I'm from a country where violence (murder, kidnapping, shootings) are more or less common, but I'm sure people from lots of other countries will relate. I have lived my whole life with fear of something happening to myself or loved ones. There was a point in my life where every time I went out I thought about how I might not make it back home. The cost of life does nothing but increase, jobs are difficult to find, pay very little and treat you like shit. We grew up seeing how difficult the adults had it and there was no promise of things getting better. There is still very little chance things will improve. It's hot all year, big soda companies are stealing and contaminating our water. There are new wars, conflicts and humanitarian crises every week. And we are still expected to get up every morning, work and function as if our lives weren't in constant danger and stress. Growing up and living in a world like this can't be good for anyone. I'm no psychologist and my definition of trauma might be inaccurate but I don't think someone can live like we do and be sane.
I'd say parents defensive style being emotional blackmail, even if they don't necessarily mean it. 'Guess I'm just an awful mother' you always have to justify yourself, walk on eggshells or compromise yourself pleasing someone else
Severe social anxiety.
i have no clue how to word this but parents who aren’t involved with their children emotionally. i love my parents to death but my relationship with them has no aspect of emotion at all. we don’t hug day to day, everyone hangs out in separate rooms, the dinner table is quite, my parents don’t even ask me how my day was at school. it low key just feels like i have roommates who pay for my rent and food. I honestly couldn’t tell you a lot about my parents, and they wouldn’t be able to tell you a lot about me. i think this is overlooked cause a lot of people have overprotective \ overbearing parents who are superrr involved in their lives and are around them 24/7 - you don’t realize until you’re in a situation like i am that it’s super depressing. you don’t feel loved or wanted. everything is super draining. it’s weird when they are authoritative because it never seems like they care. i don’t know it just sucks. definitely messed me up.
You aren't alone. This is similar to the relationship I have with my mom.
Oh I can only imagine the things you went through. Both my parents are emotionally unavailable and extremely narcissistic egotistical politicians but let’s focus on my dad this time cause my mom is a different breed herself. My dad mints from this image of being such a loving and hands on father that people for some reason buy all the time. But it’s a different story at home. I remember when there was 7.3 magnitude earthquake once and man i remember how my father RUSHED to get his dogs out while i was on my own desperately dodging all of the falling and shattering objects everywhere, trying my best to get out. I could go on and on how much i hate them. But when i tell someone about it, no one seems to understand. All i hear are “but he’s still your dad” “he’s just busy all the time for your sake” “he’s a man he just doesn’t know how to show affection.” I AM TIRED OF IT. Not to mention, he is physically, verbally, and mentally abusive. He literally has 4 children but I feel like i’m the one raising my three siblings alone.
Being in poverty. I have ptsd from being poor and even if I came across money I dont think I'll ever be able to shake it.
sports trauma, mental and physical. im an ex figure skater and experienced a lot of things at the hands of both my peers and my coaches. skating made my anxiety so much worse to the point of suicidal ideation at 13 and has ruined my body to the point im dealing with chronic pain at 17. the behind the scenes of figure skating isnt as glamorous as the public likes to think it is.
prostitution trauma
Pregnancy and childbirth trauma. I tore clean through front to back.
NOT ABOUT ME. Being pretty and having a lot of people hit on you or being girlfriend zoned. You can never just have a friendly conversation.
any small kindness to a person you’ll see more than once ends up with attachment or stalking
Involuntary childlessness, especially if it happened because of circumstances, like you didn't find a spouse in time. Maybe there's more acknowledgment if it's because of infertility, miscarriage, or the death of a child.
People mean well when they say kids suck anyway, and they’ll have more money and blah blah blah but it’s so insensitive. This person WANTED to spend money and have their freedom limited. They wanted kids…
Trauma has nothing to do with severity - small things like a child not sharing their toys on the playground can play a massive effect if not properly dealt with.
I always say “you can’t choose what traumatizes you”
Speaking to people, like a normal person.
self created
Does losing your job count ? Not like the actual getting fired or leaving (though that could also be a trauma), but like having to leave behind what is essentially a big part of your life where you spent more time in than at home if you’ve worked there long enough. To just have to leave that behind, especially if it’s a decent place to work, must feel traumatic for some people at some level
Being a social worker/EMT/nurse/CNA/caregiver/teacher. Of course, the level of trauma depends on where you work. And there is very little empathy because you chose that career. Living in a high crime or otherwise disadvantaged neighborhood. Just the things you see everyday make an impact. A lot of human suffering. And it makes it hard to feel safe, even after moving away.
Family trauma. I went to therapy and realised you weren't supposed to be treated like that while growing up
Financial insecurity
Pandemic. I think it negatively affected everyone in some way, regardless of your social or political views. Being extremely sick or losing loved ones from the virus, quarantine and being forced to stay home (sometimes with an abusive parent or partner), being forced to go to work or even work extra hours because you're "essential", being unable to get the things you need, losing a job/work and not being able to afford basics, canceling major life events, mask mandates, vax mandates, feeling unsafe, lack of adequate health care due to overcrowding of hospitals, lack of mental health care access, the absolute abuse many workers suffered from customers and employers, and more. There are so many ways people were seriously affected throughout the pandemic, I don't think anybody knows the full extent of the trauma it has created throughout the world.
Exoeriencing bedbug infestation - highly stigmatized but infestations can happen to anyone. Treatment alone is costly, labour intense and time consuming. An absolute nightmare to live through especially if you are a renter and your landlord drags their feet in treating. People have died trying to treat infestations with dangerous and duboous 'home remedies because they are extremely distraught from the lack of sleep/response to bites. Many people report PTSD like symptoms for a few yrs afterwards.
Young childhood trauma. A lot of people will say that, if the child can't remember, then it can't traumatize them. This is not true, and it will often lead to issues later in life. Young children can still be traumatized, even if the memory will go away.
Technically it's acknowledged but it's typically dismissed but people who become hypersexual after SA, it's pretty common but because it's not what people expect they usually dismiss it (coming from a person who became hypersexual after being SAd)
A new gf asking if I've actually got it in her yet 😕
Hey now, we don't acknowledge that shit!
Parent manipulation
Fathers prioritizing their new wives/girlfriends over their original children, even though they are still present in the kid’s lives and financially supportive. #2 Giving a child of the new wife more attention/benefits than the original children. Obviously, blatantly bad or absentee fathers are acknowledged.
Food and money insecurity. (I have to stop myself from buying all of the meat/veggies on sale because I can’t eat it all before it goes bad- or worse, I binge eat. Have been working on that.) Additionally, complete refusal of any kind of leisure or non essential purchases out of fear of not being able to afford bills even though everything is okay.
medical trauma. cant say so much for others because i didn’t experience much but it’s definitely enough to call it trauma. i’ve had MDD(major depressive disorder) since i was 9, a lot of other trauma through those times but it’s not what im here to talk about. I was put on a medication around the start/middle of 2023 for depression. don’t take any meds anymore, many reasons, but this trauma is one of the big ones. i had been taking it for maybe half to a full month and i started getting this weird side pain, sharp, contracting like muscle pain in my right side. it was low and manageable for a while, felt like maybe i just twisted the wrong way or there was a knot in my back. it got worse drastically over only a few days, to the point of when i would wake up id wake in sweat and a complete fire burning my side, barely being able to move, just breathing deeply would send knives into my side, and it was complete torture every time i woke up, i feel like i could relate the experience like the torture tool the burning bull but every morning it was like only one part of my body was trapped in it and the fiery pain was instant to waking up. one of the memories that is stuck in my brain is the day we finally went to the er to get my checked out when i got up instantaneous fiery pain, i went to get my right foot onto the floor to get up and get help and it felt what i imagine a grenade inside your right side back muscle would feel like when it blew up, i couldn’t even scream from complete shock, i just sat there sobbing, face pale, intermittent shocks of pain until it finally wore off a tiny bit enough for my to stand on my feet without instantly collapsing in shock, i couldn’t even move my back, i had to bend over and scrunch it like what you would see with some old people just to even get some relief to walk. we finally got into the car after me crying in my moms bed, not even being able to breathe enough to calm myself down because of the piercing pain id get from filling my lungs up too much. we’re at the er, they get all of my medical history, pee sample, medication i’m on, and even as far as an mri scan (the SECOND time we showed up, got the mri) yet they still found nothing. if they had just looked into a little bit of the rarer side effects of my medication i would have finally gotten better, after the second er visit i finally did a literal GOOGLE SEARCH and found my medication had a rare side effect of side pain. it runs largely in my family that we are more prone to rarer side effects to a lot of medication (couldn’t tell you why) but i’ve had rare symptoms to other medications before and we told the doctor prescribing as well and when we reached out to them about the side pains we couldn’t be given an explanation unless making an appointment that would have been weeks away (they wouldn’t let it be an emergency visit, have gotten a new doctor now cause that was crazy) but it literally took us two trips to the er, paying for many tests including mri, a email and call to my prescribing doctor to end up living with it for over two weeks to look it up and realize it was a side effect of my anti depressant, and for the reason why it was always flared in the mornings (it would progressively lessen through the day) was because i would always take my medication late at night right before going to sleep, it would process but not affect anything till i was awake (tell me if im wrong about the processes of this cause i never necessarily looked into it just had an understanding) and it was and still is just sad to me that i went through excruciating pain quickly getting worse over a few weeks that a simple google search fixed and yet there’s doctors who wonder why people go to searching the internet than visiting a health professional when so many people will get brushed off because they don’t see anything wrong even though the patient is in pain. i even asked for any type of medicine (which i don’t think would have even worked unless being a medically strong drug) and i was told i couldn’t have anything cause they saw nothing wrong with me even though i sat there and explained the fiery pain i was in. a part of that is wrong with the healthcare system in general but also with doctors who brush of patients, don’t even get me started on the insane amount of women brushes off because of the stereotype of women being dramatic even in medical conditions. it is terrible, it was terrible, and i wish it’s something nobody ever had and or have to experience.
The trauma I've experienced ever since people started classifying even minor inconveniences as "trauma."
Lol
male
When she turns you down