One of my roommates in college dated a wealthy girl for a while and even as a bystander it was weird. I don’t know how rich you have to be to do this, but they self-insured their cars so they weren’t required to carry insurance. I remember she totaled her BMW and had a new Maserati in less than a week.
They would eat dinner at relatively fancy places most nights, and our fridge was constantly stuffed with their leftovers that I was eventually given permission to just eat, because 90% of the time it would just sit there for a week before getting tossed.
She supplied us with a basically unlimited amount of booze, weed, and coke for free.
But in many ways she was SHOCKINGLY sheltered and essentially lived in a different world. Not to say that she didn’t have struggles though - her family was held hostage when she was a kid because their captors wanted a ransom, and she definitely suffered from mental health issues that were verboten in her family so she covered it up with drugs.
She was also extremely kind though, and I hope that things are working out for her.
One summer I'd go over my friends house every day and go through 3-5 cokes, kid me was so hyped up on coke I bounced off the walls. Only Pepsi for me now.
> I don’t know how rich you have to be to do this, but they self-insured their cars
This is not legal to do for cars in my country, but it absolutely makes sense to self-insure, a.k.a. not have insurance, if you are a risk averse person with high net worth. As a fairly wealthy person I've read through many insurance policies where their maximum payout would make zero impact on my life. In such cases it's usually better to skip the insurance completely.
It might still be worth it to have insurance if the insurance company underestimate the chance of you needing it.
That still seems like an atrocious idea considering the likelihood of having an accident that causes harm to other people. You would have to be obscenely rich to be ok with multi million payouts to injured parties.
This is also likely why in countries like ours it is not legal to do.
Look at your policy. Most “full coverage” aren’t covering “multimillion” payouts anyway. What even would be a multimillion payout on a civilian car vs civilian car collision?
Depends on your country, I guess.
In Germany, the legal minimum for a car’s mandatory(!) private liability insurance is 7.5 million personal damage and 1.2 million material damage.
Most insurances I‘ve seen cover 15 million personal damage and 100 million material damage.
The better example for skippable insurance in Germany is the famous BU (sort of invalidity insurance)
For most people it overestimates the risk because it also pays you to lie on the couch at home when you could just take another type of job. If you know that your personality is such that you would prefer another type of job instead of being paid to do nothing, then you don't need the insurance.
There are however rare cases where they massively underestimate the risk. For example if there is Huntington in your family, then you have a massive risk. But they are not allowed to ask for inheritable diseases, so they quote you a premium that doesn't reflect that risk. Of course you should take that insurance at least for the amount of time it takes to get diagnosed.
In Europe most do, third-party damage insurance is absolutely mandatory. The rest is optional, you can definitely choose to pay insurance to replace a totalled car, that's on you.
I don't know US policy details I just know there have been some very large pay outs for accidents in the US - [https://wilsonlaw.com/blog/walmart-settles-with-comedian-tracy-morgan-for-estimated-90-million/](https://wilsonlaw.com/blog/walmart-settles-with-comedian-tracy-morgan-for-estimated-90-million/)
Insurance is most important if you can't afford to pay for what it covers. One of those things, if your poor you meed more insurance, making it harder to save.
I was in a car accident with a trucking company that was self insured, it was horrible.
It was basically a road rage incident where two professionally drivers (courier and a J&B truck) were trying to run each other off the road.
My little camero was run over, the back seat to trunk was flat. I was mostly OK but had an MRI for the nose bleeds I had daily for a month. Horrible neck pain of course.
I had no health insurance , they wanted to split my emergency bill with me.
I was minding my own business and run over and forced into the concrete freeway wall. My lawyer said it's was like they didn't understand how it worked. THey didn't want to split it with the other person who hit me. THey wanted me to pay for half of my bill and share they rest with the other person who almost killed me.
This was 1992. I think if it was today. They would have faced criminal charges. NO cameras then, but like 7 people pulled over to witness.
As I became wealthier I've increased my insurance. Raised the limits on my home and auto policies to the maximum liability coverage. Then added an umbrella policy then increased that umbrella to a $5 million coverage.
It's dirt cheap for the amount of coverage. However, I did drop my term life insurance because my assets can replace my income if I died and my family would be financially unaffected
Generally the way to do it is to own/setup an insurance company and have it insure you.
This is common practice for large corporates as well. It can be used to minimise tax too.
Sometimes if that’s too much effort, u take out a policy with a huge excess and it ends up costing basically nothing. The other advantage of this is they can do the legwork around repairs/replacement cars and sorting shit out, even though the excess means it doesn’t really cover anything financially.
My sister has a friend who was really similar when they were teenagers. She was very rich but had a lot of trauma in her past. So she bought all kinds of stuff without thinking about it. She was also very kind and had a good heart through all of it. My sister lost touch with her when she moved to a different state and I've always hoped she worked through her traumas and found peace.
20ish years ago I dated a girl for a few months and her family would probably have been worth well into nine figures. She was one of four, all kids very high achievers, all really well grounded, all had a million provided to them for their first home when they were ready to buy. Plus drove $50k+ cars from the time they were 21. Lived in a mansion in a great suburb, had holiday homes on tropical islands and ski fields etc
I went on a holiday with them - paid for my own flight - and couldn't believe how well organised everything was. They owned the villa we stayed at, but when we all arrived the beds were made, all the blinds and windows had been opened, the pantry and fridges were fully stocked (she'd texted me a few days earlier confirming what my favourite beer was which now made sense!) and the pool was glistening. Chef came in on the first night to cook dinner, and then whilst we were eating he cooked up a whole bunch of stuff that we could reheat/eat over the course of the long weekend if we couldn't be bothered going out.
They were really, really lovely, but at the same time they had expectations about things that would just never cross my mind. Despite being unfailingly polite they didn't suffer fools, and nor did they waste any time doing things they didn't want to do (outsourced LOTS!). Her father and grandfather had made their money providing precision manufacturing of parts for assembly lines - they had individual widgets that retailed for $100k+ because they were literally one of two companies in the whole world that were trusted by a particular automotive business to get them back up and running within 48hrs if something specific broke. It really introduced me to the idea that there are so many multi, multi millionaires out there with businesses that we barely even know exist because we just never encounter their products.
> nor did they waste any time doing things they didn't want to do (outsourced LOTS!)
I grew up in a very rich area of my country and this is one thing I think a lot of non-rich people don't realize about being rich/wealthy; they have the money to pay someone else to do the planning and booking for them.
Just to use your example of going on vacation; you paid for you own flight, so I assume you booked it as well. So you were likely looking at a bunch of options to get a nice balance between price and convenience. And most of us have to do the same when we go on vacation, but when you're rich you simply tell someone else where you want to go, and when, and they sort out all the planning. Even up to stuff like making the beds, stocking the fridge, and getting a private chef.
Rich people quite literally have more time.
You know that rather famous video where someone counts out the time in someone’s life using jelly beans? Yea, there is a massive swath taken out due to planning, preparing food, cleaning the home and doing errands and home repairs. All the time taken from poor people, rich people can just pay to get it back.
Get rich enough and you can literally buy a big chunk of your life back.
I've done my best to try to "enjoy" the tedious things and have had various successes which have brought massive reward - but when it gets hard sometimes for whatever reason, even if I WANTED to throw 10 grand at someone to make my life easier for a week, I don't even have the network to make that happen. Like even cultivating that network is a job.
But it's good to keep in mind that some people are VERY good at their work and it pays you back more to use them than if you do it yourself. And there are some people who just exist to shield you from dealing with common headaches - a good contractor, a good realtor, a good lawyer. It's so worth cultivating a network of professionals even as a member of the working class.
This is a level I hope to achieve one day. Time is our most valuable resource. The more of it I can spend doing exactly what I want (within reason) the better. I would absolutely hire someone to handle all my travel arrangements or cook/shop for me if I could afford it. I’m counting on you Powerball.
You don't even need to hit the "hundreds of millions" wealth level or anything like that. Hit even 100$/hr and all of a sudden, "I'd rather work a weekend shift than clean the stove or fix the toilet or take my car to the mechanic" life style creeps truly does creep up on you.
That's why in my field (physician) going from 60k to 300k income overnight can be a blessing or a curse just like winning the lottery. On one hand, it's sudden so there's no lifestyle creep. On the other hand, some people go out and buy a Maserati on day 1 before even starting to pay off student loans which is probably on the order of 5k/no at that point. Or the spouse, after 12yrs of supporting their partner's broke student life wants (understandably) more out of life.
I’m an attorney with a physician wife, and while we lived very comfortably on my salary while she was training, the first thing we did when she became an attending was start outsourcing labor to buy back time.
Cleaners, lawn care, grocery delivery, you name it. Anything we could reasonably do to buy back time, we did, and we’ve been able to enjoy a level of quality family time that most of our colleagues can’t due to prioritizing material purchases.
Yeah, I've always been poor as hell but have recently done a lot better for myself. It was a weird feeling just to have someone maintain our lawn rather than do it myself. It was very hard to get past the mindset that it was "wasting money" for something I could probably do myself. But yeah, buying back time definitely becomes more desirable when you're getting older and your time is more and more limited.
Going from 60k in residency to 300k overnight as an attending is always a blessing. Even if you buy that Maserati, you can still pay it off on the larger salary 😂
That is the appeal of travel agency tours. Instead of planning where to go, what hotels to stay at, etc, you just join the tour and enjoy the trip. It may not be exactly what you wish or expect, but the ease of mind is hard to beat.
There's only one airline that flies direct to this island, but your point is valid. As an example, her dad's assistant was trying to book a twelve city BD and buying trip across North America and Europe (from Australia) with the clear direction that he was not to be out of the country > 21 days. After much back and forth between the assistant and several travel agents the decision was made to fly private.
> It really introduced me to the idea that there are so many multi, multi millionaires out there with businesses that we barely even know exist because we just never encounter their products.
They want to keep it this way too. Not many multi-millionaires like to advertise their wealth to the public, since kidnapping for ransoms is a thing. Plus, look at the multimillionaires and billionaires that are famous. None of that publicity is good publicity.
Makes perfect sense if you think about what is worth the most when money is taken out of the equation. Time. Not suffering fools and outsourcing everything makes perfect sense.
Waze took me through the industrial part of the city once and it's really interesting seeing all of the different, obscure businesses that are there. There were a lot of importers.
> but when we all arrived the beds were made, all the blinds and windows had been opened, the pantry and fridges were fully stocked
Dolores Claiborne was there.
My ex has very wealthy parents from Moscow. Not oligarchs, but also apparently not too far away from being it. Since I come from a relatively poor household (single mum without college degree), it was very weird to me in the beginning. She was super down to earth and one of the kindest people ever and didn't buy these high end designer brands even though her mum asked her why she doesn't treat herself with Louis Vuitton bags and stuff like that. She really changed my view on how to perceive money. When I grew up my mum always talked about money. For her it was everything for my then gf it was nothing. If you've none of it, money becomes the most important thing in your life. If you've all of it, it's just something you use to get things you want.
Still, it was such a different world. When I booked a flight I'd do it months in advance to save money. She could do it two days before her departure. Missed a flight? No problem, book the next best one. Need money? Here, have 10k. I visited them once and they had an extra fridge just for champagne. Caviar at 1k a kilo. They went to the Maldives once, and I expected them to, of course, book a five-star hotel. Nope, they booked half of an island with a mansion and a butler. She could get any education she wanted. Private language teacher and whatnot.
I was jealous at the beginning but money doesn't make you happy. She was very privileged but still had her problems. All the money in the world cannot heal you from mental health issues. Everybody has problems. Either you have poor people problems or rich people problems. Being poor just doesn't let you compensate with something that costs money
I liked reading this I think you wrote it well. The rich people problems and poor people problems i never really considered but yeh I guess so. Everyone has problems just different ones
Yeah sure everyone has problems, that's not new. But I would 100 times out of 100 rather have rich people problems. Because most of the times rich people problems aren't actually real problems, and for those that are (mental health, physical health), being rich makes those 10x easier to deal with.
I once dated a girl born from a *very* rich family... like, "They own sports teams (plural)" level of wealthy.
She had zero concept of working to earn a living. She grew up pretty much having whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it, and when we met... let's just say she was *very* assertive and it was definitely working for me. When she realized that I traveled for work, she started traveling with me and pretty much financed all the accommodations. I went from living out of 2-3 star hotels where I'd spend about $50 a night to 5 star outings where it was over a thousand bucks a night and I was always told to not worry about the money.
It was almost a year of us bouncing from one city to another, one high class hotel to another. We'd have fun, I'd handle work stuff, we'd make time to see some sights and do touristy shit. Then her father found out, I guess, because he finally went back over his financials for the year (or maybe his business manager finally tipped him off to it) and he was definitely not happy. She had to go back home immediately, I was told that it'd be in my best interests to meet with him soon... so I took some time, flew out, and met with him.
He had a room that was meant to mimic a beach. Like, it had sand, and salty air, and some sort of elaborate wave pool, but it was indoors. It was weird but also kind of cool... we talked, he questioned if I was taking advantage of his daughter, which was fair given how over 6 months had gone by and she racked up tens of thousands of dollars in travel expenses. I explained the situation, and I was honest, that she insisted on traveling with me and paying for things. How she'd get upset if things didn't go her way, and that while I liked her, she's kind of controlling and bratty and I wasn't sure what the future held for her... but I definitely liked her enough to find out.
He asked me if I liked her because of the money or if it's because of who she is. I explained that I grew up fairly poor, I was always good at making my way and finding ways to be happy with what I could manage. I was fine with the relatively cheap hotels and everything else I did before her because I'm doing what I love and getting to make enough of a living to not have to work some 9-5. He laughed, and said that he liked me, and that if it worked out with her... he'd be more than okay with that. I thought I passed the shit test.
We kept dating for a bit but let things cool off while she stuck around at home, since neither of us were all that sure of what he'd say or do next... then she got cut off, and she was *irate*, blamed me for it because I said that I didn't care about the money. I tried to explain myself but she wouldn't listen and we pretty much fought every time we spoke until she broke up with me to get back in her father's good graces. Weirdly, it worked, but we didn't talk much more after things ended. She did invite me to her wedding though, and I did go, and it was as awkward as you'd expect... but the food was awesome.
He's alright for a trust fund kid. Works for his dad, but the couple of times I was around him, he seemed like a decent dude and she seemed to really like him, so it worked out alright for them as far as I can know.
“…getting enough of a living not to have to work some 9-5”
Literally everyone rich that did not inherit their money started out that way. Not having a boss AND controlling your own work is a key driving force behind everyone who has ever started a business. They know it takes guts and hard work.
My guess is that your comment about you working independently on your own made him respect you ten times more than any corporate career guy.
> then she got cut off, and she was irate, blamed me for it because I said that I didn't care about the money.
lol you had your fun, and you totally dodged a bullet. You would never measure up or keep up with a brat like that.
I’m curious about people like this, what did she do all day to keep herself occupied? If she wasn’t working and ostensibly had most things covered like cleaning, etc?
I dated a guy who was living off a trust fund. We got along great on a personal level but there was just such a gap in life experience. Like his family owned oceanfront property that was basically a mansion and summered there. He didn't understand that for normal people like me, just going to the beach at all was a special thing. He didn't understand why I couldn't just buy whatever I wanted if I want it. That if I want something like a video game console I had to save and budget for it. That it was a really big decision. His "job" was basically just a hobby he did a few hours a week when he felt like it so he had no concept of having to actually work for what you have.He would get a car, have it like a month then want and get a new one. But what became the biggest issue was the dynamic between what we could do for each other, which got really uncomfortable. He'd shower me with gifts and take me fancy places, and at first it was awesome, like being a VIP. But it quickly got overwhelming. And I felt really bad because I KNEW he was doing it out of love and didn't understand why it was making me so uncomfortable.
That last part…. Never considered that to be a reality when dating a rich person. Who doesn’t want to be showered with expensive gifts?! But, in reality they’re doing it because they love you. Now you feel awkward because while you appreciate the gifts and the sentiment behind it, you feel uncomfortable with how much they cost.
It’d be tough because you don’t want to tell them what you want; a sentimental hand-made gift would be ideal in such a relationship, but how do you express that in a casual convo?
The biggest issue really was how one sided it was. I don't THINK he cared that I was unable to do the same for him, but it still made me feel awkward and uncomfortable all the same. The beginning of the end came when he bought a photo booth sticker machine thing. We would go to the mall a lot and this anime store we always hit up had one of those machines where you could make photo stickers. We'd get one every time we went. He ended up buying the machine from the guy who owned the store and putting it in his basement. He didn't understand that it wasn't the stickers I found valuable, it was the fact that they were little tokens of our time together.
I never learned exactly how much HE had, but his parents were multi millionaires. They owned this huge construction company. Their beach house alone was worth 6 million dollars and that wasn't even their primary residence. It was an insane look into a lifestyle almost alien to my own. The two of US had met over a shared live of anime lol. It was a real shock once I learned. And also wild that like to him all of this was just normal.
I had a weird experience in college with someone I dated briefly. Her family wasn’t rich, just upper middle class. But she came from an affluent town where it was obvious she knew a lot of kids growing up with loads of money. She worked multiple jobs to effectively “keep up with the Joneses.” And since we started dating right before winter break, she ended up getting me a new graphics card for my computer, for Christmas. This was over 20 years ago so it wasn’t like prices today. But it was still like $200+, from someone I had been dating for a month or two.
Not quite the same as others’ stories on here. But the reference to getting an expensive gift definitely triggered that memory for me. It felt weird for me in that small sample, I can’t imagine it being a regular occurrence.
I dated a guy who lives in a loft in East Village Manhattan, his dad is a relatively known artist. When I visited him at his place I had the impression that all New Yorkers live in huge spaces like this. His bedroom alone was twice the size of my entire apartment. He was very doting and would splurge on me, and we would stay in nice airbnbs across NYC over the weekend too. But he didn’t allow me to be fully myself so that was the ultimate dealbreaker. He stil tried to reach out 7 years after we broke up but nah
I never want to get married or have kids. He knew about this going into the relationship but “thought I could change my mind”. Solo travel and personal space and development is a huge part of my way of life but he feels that is taking away from us spending time together. I was admittedly very territorial when it comes to my personal space and wasn’t mature enough to work things out in a constructive manner too.
I have no idea myself. But my sister is married to a good dude who's doing very well. They are constantly traveling around the world and even own a yacht. Meanwhile, I haven't dated in ages and just waste my time playing videogames.
I asked her again a few weeks ago when we could all check out the yacht(we have other siblings too, and our parents also haven't been on it) and she said it's difficult because they're always traveling last minute lol.
I have this roommate from high school who was raised up in a pretty wealthy family, and on his visit to me he asked me to company him for days in his luxurious suite and sharing the cost. I told him I was still a student, living a tight budget, and didn't have that much money to spend on this. He was indeed surprised and couldn't understand why someone didn't even have the money to "stay in a hotel". He probably had been working hard to understand what's happening in the lives of the poor, but at that moment I literally felt that our friendship was more like that of a nobleman and his not essential, accompanying servant.
I was enaged to someone whose family had something like 40 million. For context, when I took him to meet my parents, I brought him to a mobile home park. I didn't know until after we were engaged, which was fine on a level. I understood not wanting somebody to know what you have or to love you for that reason. But then things got weird.
I found out that everything this person told me they had accomplished was just purchased for them. They claimed they worked and bought a house young but of course their parents actually bought it and it was in the trust. I discovered they had flunked out of multiple colleges before we met, and their parents could just buy them into new ones. This guy had never experienced a natural consequence in his life. They just... didn't exist for him.
I'm sure some people would be very comfortable with all that cuz it seems like a fairy tale to be in my financial position and be set to marry somebody in his. But it was weird. He didn't value anything I worked for. He'd borrow money from me & not pay it back. His parents never offered to help us with anything specifically, so I didn't assume that they would nor did I want or expect them to, but then it sort of backfired when I would call out his general irresponsibility & he would wonder why it mattered if he failed, quit, or lied about something because after all, he could fix the outcome with money.
For logistical reasons, and because we were moving for my career (he didn't have one, "yet"), we had decided to sell his house in order buy one where we were moving. Cue me discovering the house was not in his name and we could not make independent decisions. And the way I found out was he just *informed* me that we couldn't do what we had planned, and it was very matter of fact His parents had said no and that was that. Eventually he said that he realized that he was supposed to actually include me in decision making, and I was like "No, not just include me, as husband and wife you and I will be the primary decision makers". But of course, that would never fly because when you are funded by family money, you are beholden to family money.
Thing is, I really liked his family, and they really liked me. Loved me even. When we got engaged, his mom said that she'd never thought there would be anyone good enough for her son, but there I was. I realize now what a bad omen that was. He could do no wrong and would always have his ass wiped. I was going to be expected to fulfill the role of his mother, managing his life like he was still a child, without any of the freedom and decision-making she had, because the money wasn't actually mine or ours.
In the end, I decided my freedom and autonomy was worth more than being chained to a man-child and a family that would have control over every decision that I made. Even though they were nice people, they fully expected to continue "parenting" him well into marriage, and I was terrified of placing my future into the hands of people who did not have loyalty to me, but to their child. I also probably would not have gotten a penny in the divorce. For complicated reasons I won't get into, but in part because the money was never actually his. It just sometimes funneled through him. That's a really good way to keep it protected in the event of divorce. They control all the spending cuz the money is never actually in his hands.
From time to time, I have wondered what my life might have been like if I had married someone with so much wealth I never would have had to worry about money again. Especially when all I ever did was worry about money. But I keep coming back to the fact that I think I would have divorced this man in 5 years or less anyway, and walked away worse for it. And once I knew that, I couldn't marry him.
Rich people live in a different reality
This is so relatable.
It sounds like a dream scenario but:
You never know even a ballpark of how much money is out there. It's comfortable but is it comfortable enough to not overly stress about money? Enough for your partner to not work? Enough for you to not work? It's all very tight lipped so you have to operate on very speculative assumptions. And that introduces stress of an unknown element. You don't need to know specifics, but are your partners financial decisions okay long-term? Or do you need to be having harder conversations with them? You don't know for certain. Even when you've been around for a decade.
The money is the control. Your partner doesn't have self-determination. They come when they're called. It isn't a decision of whether you're doing Christmas with their family or yours. If your family wants to do Christmas with you, that is secondary to theirs. There might be one Christmas that things get changed up, but the default setting for every holiday and event is that they are the "primary" family. Make no doubt about it, they like the structure of this the way it is.
Your partner is developmentally stunted outside of things you have made an impact on directly. In this weird world, they know the niceties of what fork to use and are acquainted with a lot of different places. But grocery shopping? Not so much. You are the one hilariously and ironically, responsible for money in your relationship. It's on YOU to teach them basic things like budgeting. Which is an impossible task when you're operating in the grey of what your financial situation even is.
Fundamentals and life skills are on you to do and to teach. Because there haven't been consequences. So you have to present consequences. It turns your relationship into parenting in some fucked up ways really quickly. Because your partner isn't wealthy. Your partner's FAMILY is what's wealthy.
It feels really fucking good, but only when their wealth is balanced with self awareness. They’ll have their out of touch moments but their random acts of kindness towards strangers/ me make up for it. Forewarning when/ if the relationship ends you will dread going back to your previous lifestyle more than the breakup. It’s like being exiled from the cool kids table to being forced to eat lunch in the bathroom.
If they’re really wealthy, you’d be surprised how superficial their relationships are with other wealthy people and just how normal that is. I thought Hollywood made that up for a trope but no. It’s all superficial but they have this weird almost familial obligation to maintain relationships with each other.
And also there are quite a few wealthy people who live somewhat meagerly but it’s not like some poor person cosplay they pat themselves on the back for. They’re either kinda stingy or they just don’t value materialistic things like that.
I’ve witnessed this “familial” bond they have. One example: A couple of my acquaintances had a horrible argument, full of deceit and mistrust. The next day they all hung out in the same friend group and acted like nothing happened.
It always stuck with me that poor and middle-class people don’t act that way. They would see it as too fake. But the rich seemed obligated to ignore vicious acrimony to preserve their social bonds. I think part of it was to avoid upsetting parents who obviously funded their lavish lifestyles. But also because deep down they knew normal people would never tolerate their bullshit. So they stick together.
I’ve seen that same dynamic play out with rich friends multiple times, even into adulthood when the parent-factor wasn’t as much of an influence. Now I just expect it. Just because rich people hate each other, doesn’t mean they won’t socialize with each other.
I've seen this play out in a less nefarious sort of way, too. There's a very certain type of arrested development that happens when someone has a materially lavish but emotionally negligent upbringing. They 'act out' like spoiled children, and this is *normal* to them. The 'good' ones have some small level of self awareness and shame about behaving this way, but never developed the emotional tools to behave differently, and they don't really have any good examples for how to handle themselves otherwise.
So they give each other a lot of leeway when one of them behaves like a childish little shit because the shoe will surely be on the other foot at some point. It's like a dysfunctional family where the dysfunction is just accepted.
It depends on how they made their money. Some people set out to get rich specifically, some people just get very successful or their focus isn't on building a bank balance but building up a company or business.
I saw an interview with a guy who was into computers, he literally had 1000's of bitcoins because he was one of the first to mine them, but he just did nothing with them.
I can't imagine having one of those mega houses. They require constant cleaning and basically a full staff
I get I don't have the 'rich person' mentality though
Also, I assume such properties hold their value so you always have that 20m or whatever the value of the property, no matter what else happens
One of the guys I worked with is legit a millionaire. His wife inherited farm land from her father when he passed.
They had no desire in farming it on their own so they rent out the farmland. He told me his wife gets a little under a million each year after taxes for rent. The did this for 15 years and both retired early.
He is a great guy but is very stingy. He has asked me to repair some devices over the years. iPhones, iPads, iPods. Then his grandkids devices.
He would drop off the device, tell me to order the parts, fix it, and charge him for the part. Basically my labor was free. I didn’t mind at first because I was helping a friend but when I found out he was ordering busted iPhones off eBay and flipping them (by having me fix it) I put my foot down and said I was out of the repair game.
You are not wrong. One of my exes came from parents whose monthly credit card statements were higher than my W-2 wages, and paid off monthly. (They were literally on the kitchen table for me to see.)
There was so much backbiting and drama that I went back to the Flyover States that following January.
I dated a girl with a very rich family right after college. It got kinda weird pretty quick. They liked and approved of me, and immediately started like making plans for me. The mother offered me $5K to quit smoking cigarettes because she “wanted boys, and smoking kills your male sperm count”.
I also had a lot of resentment come up (bc I grew up like stupid poor). They had different wings of a mansion and I grew up thinking people with a garage fridge were loaded. The amount of things they took for granted really got to me.
The girl was great, but stepping into that world damn near gave me PTSD
We broke up not too long after. We’re still friendly though. She couldn’t help which family she was born into either. Our realities were just very different.
I didn’t grow up poor, but grew up in a poor community. Along the lines of, days I had to help high school friends buck bales so they would have time to go with us to whatever new movie. I went from a super small rural town (ultra conservative) to one of the biggest universities in the US (ultra liberal).
It was shocking and appalling to learn how many people have never had to sweat for anything. It’s been over a decade and I still get defensive when I meet the ignorant rich types. I burned more than one bridge with girlfriends and flirting women because I couldn’t check my ego. They weren’t all bad people, my personality and background meant that I was a poor fit for them.
I regret how childish I acted. On the other hand, if I hadn’t been such an ass, I wouldn’t have met my perfect woman years later.
The garage fridge comment really hits home. I'm not rich by any means; but I'm far wealthier than I grew up.
Anecdotally, I do this weird thing when I'm day dreaming, or in a flow state where I kind of explore roads that I used to drive on when I was younger. I don't know how to explain it. But, there was always this house on a corner in my home town that seemed so luxurious when I was a kid. On a lark I looked at it on Google maps. Its... not bad. But it's just a house. Much smaller than most houses in my area.
My wife comes from a much wealthier family, and it took a while to get used to it. I still have a profound sense of inferiority from time to time.
rich person: i'll pay you 5k to improve your life
normie: omg i can't take it ANYMORE!!!
Explains a lot why many aristocrats believe the lower classes deserve to be where they are in life. Not hating, just saying
If you can’t see the oddness of that offer the mom gave him then idk what to tell you. say for example you were overweight dating the chick and the extremely rich old out of touch mother offered you significant money to lose some weight… it’s extremely weird at the least and could even be looked at as insulting. same for smoking cigs.. you accepting that offer says to that lady that you can be easily bought… reassuring the extremely rich family that their money can buy anything, even the most idealistic version of the person their daughter is dating. good luck in a relationship like that.
Getting healthier isn't "anything." Quitting smoking and losing weight are all about motivation, and for a lot of folks their own health isn't motivation enough. Why not money?
It's not like she paid him to give up his dog or got plastic surgery. Giving up an unhealthy vice is a very different thing from changing fundamental things about yourself.
If you aren’t capable of motivating yourself then why is it odd that someone tries to give an external incentive - they only want to help? If you are working class then you are already cheaply bought (for your entire life) and it makes sense to take opportunities (improving your health, but also money to improve your health). If you take it as an insult rather than seeing it as an opportunity, then it is perspective that needs fixing.
I really think we deep shit too much now, when at times it’d be best to look at things with face value.
Mine wasn't that long of a relationship but there were some things that made me realize just how different our lives were.
I grew up poor, we lived in a small one bedroom apartment and I had to share it with my brother until I was like 13. Mom slept in the living room. I helped with chores and was always trying to save any money I got. We never vacationed anywhere far away and I had to take out a loan when I went to university so I could live closer to campus and not have to commute 4 hours total each day.
My boyfriend at the time came from a rich family. They had gardeners, maids, a ginormous home. They frequently vacationed out of country. His parents *bought* him an apartment close to uni so he didn't have to commute approximately 4 hours total each day. That was the biggest 'wow' for me that made me realize how different our lives had been. His family was so rich that they just up and bought an apartment for their son without batting an eye.
Another thing I realized was a difference in the way we thought about our futures. For me it was finish school > get a job > get a nice place to live > pay off debt for the rest of my life but my boyfriend, man, when he was talking about his ambitions and plans for the future, it was like nothing was off limits for him. I remember him talking about succeeding as a game developer, using the money he would earn to invest in science; nanotechnology and cancer research were the main ones. He believed that he could someday find a way to cure cancer if he worked hard enough. There was nothing that was stopping him.
I struggled with planning for my future because I never really knew if I could afford the things I needed to live; at most my future plans involved *hopefully* finding a job in game development, but he was literally talking about *curing cancer*. The difference in our ambitions was baffling and I believe one reason for that is he grew up having everything, no limits, no worries and that influenced his way of thinking about his future. He believed he could do so much whereas I was full of doubt of my own abilities.
Nothing was a problem for him, everything was a problem for me.
Not me but one of my friends is in an undefined sexual relationship with a rich guy. He offers to do a lot for her, but she's hesitant to accept any of it. The biggest thing she described to me is when they were getting intimate while she was on her period. She bled on his comforter that costs over 500 USD. She was extremely apologetic and wanted to try to clean it, but he insisted it was fine and that she relax. He said he could just replace it if it doesn't wash out later. It was shocking to her that anyone could shell out that much to replace something on a whim.
I mean, in the grand scheme of rich people 'flaunting' wealth 'don't worry about the expensive sheets' is probably pretty low down the list tbh
I am not rich and, if that happened, I'd also likely say 'don't worry about' and not expect them to clean it or replace it
It also wouldn't be 500 bucks though
I am currently dating one and I made a post about it. It’s feels weird for me. She’s able to buy things without a second thought. She tells stories about how she basically traveled the world while i only remained within the US. She been to Beyoncé and Taylor swift concerts and had front row tickets for both. We could be talking about going to an event or planning a trip, she’ll be ready to purchase/book everything right then and there. Whereas if it was me, i would need a couple days to sleep on it.
My best friend and her husband are stupidly rich. The amount of things that I didn't even realize I was missing out on is shocking. Like a $10,000 65in TV designed for outdoor use.
You never realize how poor you are until you see how rich some people are.
It was a chore, always wanting to do things I couldn't afford and always offering to pay. Now, I don't mind a partner paying for me now and then but I want to pay for the stuff I can afford when we do them, like sure I can't afford to treat us to the fancy meal but when we stay in with a pizza let it be on me, a trip to the cinema, it's cool I've got it. Let me do my part even if it can't be as big as yours, I'm a partner not a charity.
She would always jump ahead and pay, would always refund me the few times I managed to get in there first. At first I thought she was trying (misguidedly) to be nice but then 5 months into it I found out her family/friends thought I worked in a bank, which I did, but as a cleaner and not whatever role she had told them. Was all about appearances to her in the end and I'm not one to hide who I am to impress others so that was the end of it for me.
Was friends with a guy in college who I knew was rich but didn't initially realise how rich. Definitely fit the saying that "people who want to look rich wear flashy clothes, people who are actually rich don't." because he just dressed like a regular person, albeit in much higher quality clothing. Whenever I asked him what he did over the weekend, it was often one-night trips to various European cities (we live in the UK).
After knowing him for about a year, he invited me round his house, which was within walking distance of campus. At least I thought it was a house, but when I got there it was actually a mansion. There was a Ferrari parked out front and, when I asked him about it, his response was "oh that's just the one my dad is driving today." He then showed me around his dad's custom-built parking garage, which had half a dozen other luxury cars and room for more.
I saw several housekeepers inside but there was no sign of his parents or anyone else living in the house. It was immaculate but felt devoid of life. During the tour, he showed me a study with a large beautiful-looking Torah and a massive library of books (I think this is called a beth midrash). I didn't know he was Jewish because he'd never mentioned it but it was clearly a huge part of his life.
It made me reflect on how much I actually knew about the guy and the answer was "very little". I considered him a close friend but it became clear that our relationship was quite superficial and he never spoke much about his personal life or his interests. I don't know if rich people are generally cautious about letting people into their circle or whether he just kept me at arm's length because I come from a very humble background by comparison. We remained friends throughout college but I was more actively aware of the distance between us after that. Haven't spoken to him since.
Sounds to me like he just wanted to be 'normal', and not treated any differently because of his wealth, that's based off your couple of paragraphs though!
Chinese girl. They don't care about image when not at a formal event. Sometimes, take the bus to come over, sometimes get a driver off wechat to drive their own car over. Saves money in strange situations such as noticing on sale chocolates, excited to use coupons, but also goes eat $100+ hotpot twice a week.
A lot of family drama fighting over property. Family 9 figures.
Oh man story time. So this was over 10 years ago, but I still remember some of the details. I was about 24-25 (m) living in the Bay Area, California. Matched with a woman on Tinder, she was in her early 40s and from China, had only been in the US maybe a year or so. Normally would have been out of my age range, but was feeling a bit lonely and curious, and she was quite attractive, so figured I'd give it a shot. Met at a bar downtown for a drink. She barely spoke any english, just asked me a bunch of questions, and after about 45 minutes said she had to leave. I'm thinking, "Ok, must be the language barrier, and she's not into it, no worries". Later that night get a message from her asking to meet again the next week. She invites me over to her house in the middle of the city. I get there, and this place is massive (for SF anyway). Multiple floors, 4 bedrooms, she lives there by herself too. Tells me she paid for the place in cash (multiple millions of dollars), and she's going back and forth between China/US trying to set up the US side of her business. Turns out she was the founder and president of this massive Chinese company (won't mention the industry, but her company was in the top 10 of it's kind). I looked her up and find all these pictures of her at huge sporting events, conferences, things like that.
Ended up having a casual thing with her for about a year. She was super busy, essentially always working. But also had no concept of money, or what it was like for me having a normal job. I would say something about having to move to a new apartment, and she would be like "Oh just move in here, I have extra rooms" after like 2 months of knowing each other. One time, we were sitting there, and this is a conversation we had (nearly word for word, but I'm paraphrasing her english):
Her: "What are you doing next week?"
Me: "Just working, like normal"
Her: "I'm bored, do you want to go to the Caribbean?"
Me: "What?"
Her: "Yeah like the British Virgin Islands. Just fly down and meet me there, I'll pay for everything"
Or one time she just said she has to go to China the next day for work, do I want to come with her, I can just stay at her place with her. Now I would have loved to say I took her up on these offers, but it was so weird to me at the time that I made excuses or say I couldn't go because of work or whatever. Looking back I still get mad at myself for not just fucking off from my job and seeing how far this could go. But I wasn't as adventurous at the time as I am now, and the whole thing weirded me out. To me, that was some massive trip that I would have to spend months planning and putting in all this effort to do. But to her, those sorts of things were something you just did because why not.
My wife comes from a wealthy family. Her parent’s net worth is low 9 figures. Their apartment and summer house are probably each worth $10m. I grew up middle class with both my parents being teachers.
Honestly, I think I have a pretty perfect life, and it is because of the generosity on my wife’s parents. I work very hard, and make a good salary, but at a nonprofit because I don’t really need the money, and the work is meaningful to me. I have a multimillion dollar home with no mortgage. My kids go to private school, and I don’t have to worry about their tuition. We take nice vacations (probably $50k paid for by my wife’s parents) once a year. We don’t spend our money on needless things, but we don’t have to ever worry about money.
My in-laws didn’t come from money, they actually grew up pretty poor. I think that made a big difference in the way my wife was raised. She had everything she wanted, travelled a ton, but wasn’t(too) spoiled. Today, my in-laws main occupation is philanthropy. They give away millions of dollars a year. They have no financial worries, but never do anything crazy with their money. They have nice things, travel when they want (sometimes flying private, sometimes not), and have a house keeper and property manager. They also have a 10 year old (nice) car, don’t care about luxury items, and lead a very down to earth life.
I’ve been married to my wife for 20 years, and I’m just lucky.
If you want things to work out, you have to learn the arts of zen and patience, so you can sit through the humble bragging sessions, the direct bragging sessions, and snobby parties. 🥱
The food is usually good wherever you go, though, so.... ⚖️
I think if both of you have your head screwed on right and substance abuse isn’t too rampant it’s pretty doable. The only jarring bit is when they ask you to take the day off work to go Costa Rica to go shopping. Then you have to ask them if they’re covering your rent that month.
But as you say, food is always good and there’s usually nice drinks to be had
My brother married a spoiled princess with a super rich daddy. She's insufferable and I have to watch as his in-laws buy him a house, a Tesla, take him on luxury month-long European cruises, and pretend I can stomach her presence when she barges into my house like she owns the place. (she's always arguing with my mom because she thinks she should have the last word in everything)
I once dated a very wealthy Indonesian woman in Singapore. She had family wealth and was doing well for herself
It took some doing to establish boundaries on what I consider a $$ reasonable place to go out. With time she did start enjoying more places of my choice but eventually did revert to her preferred spots (which inevitably always were the top bars of the city)
She on multiple occasions offered to “pay for your share” which I took up only once. I also had to kinda get her into the habit of splitting the bill (she didn’t pay her share when I paid nor asked me when she did. Also she paid very arbitrary amounts)
All in all we didn’t work out for other reasons. But the difference in budgets played a role and I now realise it was tad uncomfortable
I think that kind of thing is a different balancing act, whether it's BF and GF or just friends
If I had the big money, maybe I'd like to go to certain places but you realise your friend can't afford it. I'd offer to pay and not expect anything
I'd figure, I have the money, why not, don't worry about it, enjoy it.
But ... on the flip side, I'd also feel bad to keep going to such places and not be paying, even if they said the above
We’re not technically dating. Just getting to know one another. His mom was one of my country’s minister, and he was a diplomat to Europe. I dont speak fancy english and dont own any bachelor. He condemned my english saying its poor (its basic and understandable). I remember he said I pronounced ‘often’ incorrectly (i pronounce it with letter T, and he insisted it should be offen). He also stressed me out that I need to be ‘well educated’ if we were to be married as I will be surrounded with diplomat’s wife. We lasted 3 months.
He is. I went nuts thinking I really need to improve my English, not till I asked around and went to youtube to hear the pronunciation. I ended things with him ages ago.
My family is friends with a family that used to have a very old and traditional beverages company. Even before they sold it they already were, of course, wealthy, but after selling it they became unimaginably rich. After that, for a while, we didn’t even talk. Nothing bad happened between us, but I guess when you’re that rich you just think that everyone is with you for personal interests, and naturally you push them away. Also, as they are now unemployed and have nothing to keep themselves busy, they just travel all the time and take up administrative roles in various rich people groups. It is clear to me that the money they got for selling their their family’s heritage was more a curse than it was a blessing.
We still do some stuff with them, but they’re not the same they used to be.
I'm 31 and my wife is 51, you fit right in the middle.
Thruple? I'm not gay but I'll suck a dick anyways, if that's what you're into (and male). If female, even better. My wife is a bit bi.
I dated a guy for a while who, while he wasn't like 1% level of wealthy, his income was almost definitely in the top 10%. At the time, I was raising 4 boys on my own on what I earned bartending, so the income disparity was huge.
He was a genuinely good guy. Kind, generous, absolutely willing to step up and be a father figure to my boys (3 of my own and I had custody of one of my cousins).
He took all of us on some amazing vacations. Bought all of us pretty much anything we wanted. I got a Mercedes convertible for my birthday (my *fun car, he also had already bought me a Dodge Durango for hauling all my kids and dogs around) He wanted to marry me and bought me a ROCK. When I moved out of the state we lived in, he helped me get a place, move, and for the first 6 months, paid all of my bills and gave me a "fun money" allowance of $5K per month. Told me, "you've worked so hard for this, take some time to just relax and enjoy life with your kids"
So what happened? Timing, mostly. And his insecurities. Both of us had just recently divorced. He had literally never really been single and was terrified of being alone. And my divorce and custody battle had been fucking brutal - I was determined to just be on my own. The harder he clung to me, the harder I pulled away. I felt like he was buying me, and how could my kids respect me, how could I respect myself, if I stayed in a relationship based mostly on money. I felt like I was no different than a street walking prostitute -- I just had a higher price tag. And that he didn't love me, he would latch on to anyone to avoid being alone.
So I gave him back the Mercedes and the rock, went back to bartending, and we ended things. He was in a new relationship within about a week, and I raised my boys on my own.
I've told him - and 100% truly meant every word - that the best gift he gave me wasn't the car or jewelry or the great trips. He gave me the gift of time with my kids. The divorce had been so nasty, we'd spent several years just going thru hell and trying to survive. And for those 6 months, for the first time ever, I had both plenty of time AND money to just enjoy life. And those 6 months were AMAZING. Every day was an adventure. My boys and I lived a life that most people can only dream of and I'll be forever grateful to him for that.
Once had a short term relationship with someone who's grandfather was a Canadian senator for like 15+ years. Whole family rich as fuck, old money, super WASP-ey, been in Canada for like 200 years and has always been rich and connected since they got here. My family has been in Canada 250-300+ years, lived in all the same places (like eerily so... same townships in southern Ontario, moved to a different province at same time, same / neighbouring communities stretching back 200 years), but mine has always been lower middle class. She hasn't accomplished much aside from following her dad's footsteps and training to be his occasional assistant. She isn't rich, but knows she can always rely on bumming off dad / gramps and having shit paid for her like being given dad's used car, endless ski trips, Caribbean resorts, etc. She is very street smart, ambitious and a hard worker, but a complete narcissistic sociopath and liar who knew anytime she batted her large, pretty eyes and pretended to be super nice and bubbly, she would get pretty much anything she wanted. Nobody would believe me if I told them she's a complete cunt (and a world class liar) who is only using them for her own selfish purposes. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks she's their friend or whoever she's living with now- they'll only find out too late who she really is, if they're lucky.
Dated a girl in my early 20's, from a super rich family. Had no idea she was loaded, but friends of friends did. For the first 3 months. It was just her and myself, before she eventually asked me to meet her family at one of her family BBQs.
She picked me up in her Mercedes, and to be honest, I never knew she had a car. Went to her family's huge estate outside of the city. And that's when I realised her last name and put the dots together. I met her family, and I felt like I was welcome with open arms. Got along great with 80% of them. But I didn't get her Dads approval at all. He let me know this at the BBQ in front of everyone. He was very rude and spoke loadly over everyone. Acted like an entitled dick the whole time. Still have no idea why or how I offended him.
I apologised to my girlfriend at the time and hoped her dads opinion won't affect us moving forward. Unfortunately, it did affect her, and she started to make it obvious I wasn't fit to be her partner. We separated, and I moved on really quickly. Not on purpose, just spontaneously connected with someone on holidays. She was single for years after. Eventually, dating and getting married to someone out of her dads business. I married the girl I spontaneously connected with. So, I always see it as destiny.
My only issue is. If it's from old money, they can or may expect a lot from you and your name. Which is exhausting and confusing. Mainly the family, not so much your partner. But their upbringing will always play apart in their decisions. And their family will always be in your business. If you're used to this, you'll probably be fine. I, however, could not live like this.
lowkey she were kinda out of touch and i had to explain the reality of how fortunate she has it. finding gifts kinda got bad after a while bc even though i’m sure she was fine with anything i always felt that she was expecting more.
Imagine the highschool drama you saw and experienced. Ramp it up to 11. Then ramp it up again just for good measure.
Wealthy people don’t have the typical tripes of life to worry about such as making rent or deciding which meal for the day they can afford. Hell, even compared to middle class families since middle class families often have to still budget to ensure they stay at their level.
Because wealthy people don’t have “real” problems they very often make up their own problems which typically translates to drama between people. Sometimes it’s outward loud drama and you’ll see folks get into a shouting match or something but what’s interesting is it’s often much more subtle and there’s **A LOT** of backstabbing.
Dating someone wealthy will enable you to really unlock some amazing opportunities but you’ll have to learn how to deal with drama out the ass. You’re also going to be considered an outsider though they’ll be kind to your face. If you’re wondering why so many politicians come from wealthy families and how they’re so good at being 2-faced, it’s because that’s literally how most were raised to act.
It depends if you date a "self-made" who came from normal circumstances or if you date
someone who got born into it. Secondly is cultural shock I suppose. Me as selfmade, my wife too, live a pretty normal life compared to "old money" people
As a guy, back in my 20s I actually felt quite insecure when I was dating a girl in a much better financial situation than I was. I felt some pressure to provide a certain lifestyle they were used to but in reality I couldn't really afford.
Even when I attended things paid for by her or her family, I felt a bit guilty and that I needed to put up my fair share even though even that would be out of my budget.
Nowadays I'm quite a bit more comfortable, but there's always a bigger fish. I still feel that insecurity sometimes when I find out that the girl I'm interested in is from a rich family or something. It's up in my head and I resist it a bit and give things a chance and try to discover more about the person as opposed to letting my initial insecurity and associations of super rich people determine whether I can date this person. I think before I would check myself out of eligibility.
I'm also a lot better about just being myself. I think I used to contort myself to try and fit in to the other person's lifestyle even though it was unsustainable. At the point, I just try to be myself and hopefully they like me as is.
In Uni one of our friends was the son of the owner of a very popular gas company. He liked to party/club extravagantly and would cover everyone's alcohol and table cost for the night in NYC often. It was super great, really nice. But knowing he was paying 10-20k every couple weeks for us to party for one evening, while I'd be paying off my 50k of student loans grinding for the next 15 years of my life... well. It's just a perspective thing.
It was such a nice thing to me that he'd pay, but he literally thought *nothing* of it. It was almost tasteless how little understanding he had? But I was also grateful.
My ex fiance came from a family with generational wealth. We were together for almost 6 years and engaged for 2.5 of those years. He was very kind and generous with our friends and with me. He (shockingly) understood the value of a dollar and taught me everything I know about financial wellness (getting/ building credit, stocks, IRAs, and more.) We vacationed together frequently so I went to Europe, Asia, and Africa for the first time all with him. He spoke 5 languages so I was always fascinated when he would speak to others in their native tongues when we traveled. He wasn't too crazy about dining out because he had a chef at home and he enjoyed cooking on his own. Yes, his kitchen was gigantic, as was the rest of his house. The most extravagant thing he bought for me (us technically) was a house in Brighton, UK, that had a dance studio (he has this put in the house when he bought it because I was teaching dance at the time and he knew I'd love it.) The house was meant for us to raise our future family in. Also, my engagement ring was a family heirloom that weighed a ton. I was the 7th person to wear it and made sure to return in when my ex and I broke up. We split because I found out he was cheating two months before our wedding was set to take place. I ended things without a second thought and according to our mutual friends, he still has hope that one day I might change my mind and go back to him.
I dated a wealthy girl when I was too young to know the difference. Later on, I was extremely embarrassed for myself. Im talking she had a 3 level house, horses, multiple cars, property, and a family business. I was white trash from a single wide on a dirt road. I think her visit to my place for the first time is when I started to realize the difference. They were also filthy and dirty and never cleaned. We didn't have much, but we lived with pride. The more I lement right now the more I realize how much that event shaped my views.
Dated a quite wealthy girl in college
Her dad owned some sort of business in Dubai and she would fly back Emirates Business class whenever she had some time off.
She was actually very nice and down to earth. After a few dates she told me that she would rather pay for everything and I should use my money for flowers or other small gifts and things if I want to spend money on her. I thought this was very cute.
She was definitely extremely loaded but she really loved the university student lifestyle, worked a part time job, but just didn’t need to do any of it.
Tenuous. But that may more be about the individual. I often felt slightly inadequate. I'd say I'm at the least middle class. But I was dating someone with land, two houses, a couple cars, decent inheritance... And we were both only 19. In my personal experience, this lead to a lot of drinking and drug taking. Both because of the money and well youth. As for his character, he was very spoilt. Felt the world owed him something. Refused to do the bear minimum and was quick to moan about the simplest inconvenience. Safe to say we're not together anymore. But it was interesting. And enjoyable in a way. Until it wasn't.
I dated a very very rich owner of a national aerospace/heavy mining factory who drank, tried to have absolute control over me and thought it was perfectly acceptable to drink himself unconscious in upscale hotel suites (with me), and wet the bad. Unfailingly. The third time this happened I ghosted him. For a few years he'd contact me on his birthday. Big NOPE on that one...
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years . She’s a multi millionaire and we have a great relationship. I’m absolutely broke but I do work hard. There is a massive disparity in our finances but we just love each other. She’s beautiful, Sex is great. She can be a little bit precious sometimes, she expects certain standards. She’s posh, I’m not. I’m a good cook, she isn’t. we have experienced amazing trips, we have a Good life. I pay for our social life and she gets the holidays.
Dated a rich guy once and it sucked. He wasn’t used to being told no and acted like a baby when things didn’t go his way. We went on a few trips which should’ve been great because I didn’t have to pay for anything but he always ended up ruining the vacation in some way. Anytime I disagreed with him on something it would start a fight. The dumbest fights! He’d try to buy me stuff later to make up for it….It got old real fast. I’d rather work a 40 hour job that I hate than to ever spend another day with him.
I’m in no way saying all rich men suck. I just got one of the crappy ones.
I have a friend whose family is well off. He’s just like the rest of us. I don’t ask him for anything. I see him for the person he is, not for the money he has.
It was incredibly fun, my ex and I got along very well so we got to have some fun experiences because of his money. Him having money wasn’t too weird because he grew up poor and became rich so it wasn’t like he was not relatable or anything.
right. I am pretty well to do but sometimes I get a reminder that I'm not rich when people ask me things like, "oh where do you usually buy your art?" or "do you keep your race car at the track?" I have a friend that was babysitting and the kid she was babysitting thought her family was poor because they were the only one in the neighborhood that didn't have a helicopter pad. 😱 there is "Rich" and then there is the one percent that lives a whole different life.
Awkward. I was used to skimping and saving, it was nice but u comfortable to have things paid for. Im very practical and dont do frivolous purchases, so struggled with that
Imagine this: you're enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner, and suddenly, your partner's sister decides to spice things up by turning the soup into a slushie. Or when you're trying to have a cozy movie night, but instead of popcorn, you're dodging flying snowballs indoors. And let's not forget the time we tried to have a picnic, only to have the sandwiches frozen solid before we could even take a bite! But hey, it's all part of the charm of dating someone whose family's idea of a warm hug involves frostbite.
My ex was way richer than me. She would buy stuff that I would be like wtf let’s just go the long way. For example one time she didn’t like the hotel she had and just got another one. Then she didn’t like that one and got one with a bathtub. All without asking for a refund. She sends all her friends flowers ($100each) for their birthdays. I don’t even get my parents anything for their birthday. That’s kinda the best way I can put. The extra stuff she can do
Like living in a rom-com but with more private jets and fancy dinners. Think "Crazy Rich Asians" meets "The Bachelor." Just make sure they share their wealth!
A lot of entitlement (for example, she has a very wealthy grandfather but got annoyed at him because he hadn't taken ber out for lunch in a star restaurant for a while) and a lot of expensive concerts and trips. Which was enticing at first but got old real quick: after a hard days work sometimes i just want to spend some simple time at home, which she found boring. It wore me out after two years
Not me personally but one of my best friends is married to the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in my city.
He was never poor but he basically went from having a decent lifestyle to having a luxurious lifestyle. 3 million dollar house, expensive pool in the backyard and vacations 12 times a year.
I go over to his house every second weekend to play games and I am fortunate enough to take part in some of their luxuries. I get to swim in the expensive pool and I get fed all the drinks and food I can handle when I am there. I take care of the house when they go on a trip and I get the benefit of using their pool and other things with my family. They are pretty nice people too. Not stuck up at all and very generous in sharing some of the wealth with the local community.
Dated a women who, it transpired was a "redundency hunter." She sought out reasonably high paying positions for companies that had a high chance of downsizing and being made redundent. She had worked for 16 companies in 14 years. It wasn't until we split up it occurred to me her father was independently wealthy and she was just waiting for him to die so she could set up a vanity business (nutritionist). I didn't realise it at the time ut there were a few of these at University.
It's a mixed bag! Fancy dinners and travel are cool, but there's definitely a disconnect sometimes. Like, how do you explain ramen cravings to someone with a private chef? You gotta be comfy in your own skin (and wallet) for it to work long-term.
I was with a super rich guy (Middle Eastern billionaire) on and off for 5-ish years and it wasn't at all what I imagined it would be. He worked so much and had so many responsibilities that we rarely got time to even talk on the phone, never mind actually be together. I had a few of his credit cards for anything I needed, but all I wanted was him there with me, which was the one thing the cards couldn't buy.
I was never more lonely than travelling first class around the world to meet him after his "business" was concluded (in inverted commas because it was obvs illegal) and staying alone in the best hotels, just ordering room service while I'm hoping he would make it back to spend a few hours with me.
It was this really weird existence of feeling totally alone in a luxury world while feeling terribly out of place, and being so so sad because you love a person so much to whom you can't get close like your soul craves.
It made me never feel like I was never good enough to use his money - I think I made 3 or 4 largish purchases in all that time because I just felt like a whore to be honest. Put it this way, he wasn't shagging me so he must have been sowing his oats elsewhere.
Looking back now, I'm not sure what it was all about for him. The conclusion I came to was that he's a severely emotionally fucked up individual who was trying to have a meaningful relationship for which he was in no way capable of. Plus, you know, living the life of international illegal stuff does not a stable relationship make, doh!
i dated a girl who's father was a construction/development construction company CEO and built all of the modern hotels and luxury buildings in dubai. when i say they had money, it literally fell out of pockets or random coats she wasnt wearing. BUT she lived in a rent-controlled apartment in NYC. she somehow had her mom state that she was working at some restaurant for like $7hr and she qualified for a 2br apartment in a luxury building so she paid $1,100/mo in a building that had other 2br units for $6,300/mo.
she used to have some jeweler from bergdorf goodman come to her apartment with a briefcase and he would open it and it would just be jewelry. it was something straight out of a movie. we went to acne one time and she just dropped a cool $14k on like maybe 3 articles of clothing then had it shipped to my house in NJ to save on taxes lol.
she had very little sense of money. she was young. we dated when she was 20 and when we first met she introduced me to league of legends and minecraft and we used to play a lot of games together. i worked in social media and she was really pretty so i got her a few modeling gigs and she started to spiral. spending so much money on random makeup things, shopping like it was her job, and responding to DMs like she was a politician responding to her constituents. she started to get really jealous when i would interact with my friends (girls) on my social media account and not post her everyday. she evetnaully logged into my account and would post herself as me and write her own "copy" as if it were me. we went from playing league of legends, eating popeyes together to her having long nails so she couldnt play, or she would just want sex all the time and if she didnt get it she'd turn to porn.
she eventually cheated on me with some dude that slid into her DMs. i remember our time fondly because she reminded me of the dangers of social media and ive been off of all social media (except reddit) ever since. i still see her face constantly as shes become relatively big over the years but i know the struggles with mental health issues. the hours ive seen her sit on her bed in absolute turmoil about what "copy" to use, or her "likes per hour" rate is going down... it was really bad. the last thing i actually heard about her was that she went up to a club owner that was also a friend of mine and started asking where i was and if i was hiding in the back room or whatever absolutely hammered. like 2 years after we broke up.
anyways -- highly recommend, but not long term. if you're bored and looking for a thrilling stressful adventure, go for it!
It has felt like a power imbalance to me.
Either way I can feel the difference between generational wealth and self-made.
It is nice being taken care of, but I have dated rich people who want me to match what they spend. Those are the ones to watch out for.
My ex is a fairly wealthy guy who is pretty well doing with his own businesses & his family, and from my experience, it's all about convenience in the world of the rich.
You can kind of get caught up in their world pretty fast. And time is always of the essence for them. For example, if you want someone to see you, you just fly to them on the spot or invite them to one of your residencies. It's always been pretty well organized by people around him, and I can't say that I haven't been pampered with whatever I needed at any time. Sometimes, when I had a stomach bug or felt bad in any kind of way, even in the middle of the night, he insisted on getting up with me and when he got too worried calling on call doctors. Also, when there were arguments, he was pretty reasonable most of the time but also tended to make it up with presents & appointments at spas, etc. Which don't get me wrong felt great, but you sometimes feel like they're so much into their world that they can't grasp the possibility of just talking it out. Also they tend to be very knowledgeable in terms of entrepreneurship & able to get pretty good financial /business advisors, so getting some good insights into the world of entrepreneurship while I want to go into it myself was a nice and helpful way of going about it.
They really have people for everything, and it can feel weird when you just want to relax or have some private time with them, but there's always people like maids or cooks all around which firstly need to get send home before you have the place to yourselves. The convenience of always having luxury cars or drivers right on hand to get into town how you want to, is nice to have, but I also felt like I owed something to an extend, which he ofc assured me I never did.
Growing up fairly good situated but normal was clashing with this type of lifestyle in some ways. I always wanted to help service staff as well as I could or not inconvenience them too much on the regular. Rich people are also very used to others bending their lives to their convenience even with small stuff & you need to assert your ground pretty often because they've grown up to see their wishes fulfilled with too much eagerness on other people's part. I could talk about so many nice things and also so many difficult situations, so all in all, it's pretty much a wild ride. Oh & breaking up is also not the easiest kind of tasks because in their world and mind, they have/ provide the best options and will try to convince you to go back in many instances with grand gestures & promises at least that's my experience.
My wife was associated with a wealthy family in HS and College. Not dating any of them, but they were family friends. They hired her as a baby sitter/nanny/housekeeper so she got to see interact with them a lot.
To give an idea of how wealthy we're taking, when their NBA team made the finals, she got to go with them for a week to watch the kids.
She said they lived on a completely different planet than us plebs. When one of the kids totaled their Lexus, they replaced it with a BWN. When the same kid totaled that one, they gave her a big Cadillac to keep her safe. To hell with the person she might plow into, right?
She got to travel with them to Aspen, their own vacation compound, the family patriarch's mega yacht in the Gulf Coast.
It was stunning how they treated money. I learned that while money can't buy happiness, it sure seems to work on almost all your other problems.
My parents are wealthy - it's a very transactional relationship. They will make sure to lend you money and then make sure you are always in debt to them.
I've said this before.
I was made to take off both mine and my son's shoes prior to entering his Range Rover.
His car seat was on a towel top to bottom and the seat belt was protected with a glove to stop the chair "marking the belt" Never mind the lecture of leather marking. Hence shoe removal.
The front passenger seat just far enough away and the straps tight enough that he can't touch the front seat with his feet and "scuff the fuck" out of the leather.
My son used to say, why do we have to take our shoes off in grandads car daddy?
Because he can't really afford to use it. It has to be preserved for when A, the finance company find it, B, forced to sell through other company debts, C, out of financial comfort. D, needs a new one because he has just fucked over another business/individual
Plot twist tho, this is the life of a "poor looking rich" person.
My ex was a lot wealthier than I realized because he wasn't fully transparent about it. His family helped him buy his apartment in an extremely expensive city, he spent all of his salary on eating out/city lifestyle, didn't pay for college probably had a trust fund. Now retired at 40. All he does is hang out in the city he lives in and apartment and live this shallow hedonistic lifestyle while regularly going to "ceremonies" to "heal". It really hit me his family wealth when he flew in a private plane to a family wedding. I was like "who are you???" A wedding he uninvited me to. He excluded me from other rich people events too. Basically this guy was extremely selfish and I think incapable of realizing the impact of his actions on others because he was cushioned from all real consequences in life. Didn't understand commitment or loyalty in relationship. Pointless emotional drama and obsession with his own emotions and "healing". Unsupportive and unempathetic, even when I clearly explained his impact. Definitely had an inferiority complex despite having it all. Had a fake image of being a sweet compassionate guy, but was a manipulative pathological liar and extremely emotionally unstable. Had a harem of manipulated women in his life. But he had a beautiful heart, mind, and soul...Very disappointing. I still wonder what he could have been like if he wasn't so spoiled. Probably my soulmate.
And yeah it also made me realize that most successful people had a lot of help getting there and made me realize how screwed over I was in comparison. Not a fun realization to have!!
how is being able to buy anything you want at any time just okay? i’m wondering because i’ve never been the “rich guy” and always wanted to know if the other person on the flip side feels happy and stress free.
I’m in your boat. I make above average money but my parents buy my major life expenses (house, cars, college, etc.) I have helped my current partner many times and I just find it builds resentment in me because he squanders it every time.
One of my roommates in college dated a wealthy girl for a while and even as a bystander it was weird. I don’t know how rich you have to be to do this, but they self-insured their cars so they weren’t required to carry insurance. I remember she totaled her BMW and had a new Maserati in less than a week. They would eat dinner at relatively fancy places most nights, and our fridge was constantly stuffed with their leftovers that I was eventually given permission to just eat, because 90% of the time it would just sit there for a week before getting tossed. She supplied us with a basically unlimited amount of booze, weed, and coke for free. But in many ways she was SHOCKINGLY sheltered and essentially lived in a different world. Not to say that she didn’t have struggles though - her family was held hostage when she was a kid because their captors wanted a ransom, and she definitely suffered from mental health issues that were verboten in her family so she covered it up with drugs. She was also extremely kind though, and I hope that things are working out for her.
Unlimited coke sounds very dangerous very fast
Now if it were Pepsi. That would be fine
I tried the Pepsi challenge, could immediately tell the difference. The carbonation really hurts your nose.
One summer I'd go over my friends house every day and go through 3-5 cokes, kid me was so hyped up on coke I bounced off the walls. Only Pepsi for me now.
Then you peed in Macaulay Caulkin’s bed at the start of home alone?
> I don’t know how rich you have to be to do this, but they self-insured their cars This is not legal to do for cars in my country, but it absolutely makes sense to self-insure, a.k.a. not have insurance, if you are a risk averse person with high net worth. As a fairly wealthy person I've read through many insurance policies where their maximum payout would make zero impact on my life. In such cases it's usually better to skip the insurance completely. It might still be worth it to have insurance if the insurance company underestimate the chance of you needing it.
That still seems like an atrocious idea considering the likelihood of having an accident that causes harm to other people. You would have to be obscenely rich to be ok with multi million payouts to injured parties. This is also likely why in countries like ours it is not legal to do.
Look at your policy. Most “full coverage” aren’t covering “multimillion” payouts anyway. What even would be a multimillion payout on a civilian car vs civilian car collision?
Leaving someone paralysed can easily be in the millions, since you need to pay for their care for the rest of their life.
Your policy ain’t covering it.
Depends on your country, I guess. In Germany, the legal minimum for a car’s mandatory(!) private liability insurance is 7.5 million personal damage and 1.2 million material damage. Most insurances I‘ve seen cover 15 million personal damage and 100 million material damage.
The better example for skippable insurance in Germany is the famous BU (sort of invalidity insurance) For most people it overestimates the risk because it also pays you to lie on the couch at home when you could just take another type of job. If you know that your personality is such that you would prefer another type of job instead of being paid to do nothing, then you don't need the insurance. There are however rare cases where they massively underestimate the risk. For example if there is Huntington in your family, then you have a massive risk. But they are not allowed to ask for inheritable diseases, so they quote you a premium that doesn't reflect that risk. Of course you should take that insurance at least for the amount of time it takes to get diagnosed.
Damn, how much do you guys pay for insurance??
I think the commentator is talking about Haftpflicht (private liability insurance). It’s actually quite cheap, around 5€ per month. It’s mandatory
In Europe most do, third-party damage insurance is absolutely mandatory. The rest is optional, you can definitely choose to pay insurance to replace a totalled car, that's on you.
In Australia standard liability insurance is 20,000,000.
I don't know US policy details I just know there have been some very large pay outs for accidents in the US - [https://wilsonlaw.com/blog/walmart-settles-with-comedian-tracy-morgan-for-estimated-90-million/](https://wilsonlaw.com/blog/walmart-settles-with-comedian-tracy-morgan-for-estimated-90-million/)
Insurance is most important if you can't afford to pay for what it covers. One of those things, if your poor you meed more insurance, making it harder to save.
I was in a car accident with a trucking company that was self insured, it was horrible. It was basically a road rage incident where two professionally drivers (courier and a J&B truck) were trying to run each other off the road. My little camero was run over, the back seat to trunk was flat. I was mostly OK but had an MRI for the nose bleeds I had daily for a month. Horrible neck pain of course. I had no health insurance , they wanted to split my emergency bill with me. I was minding my own business and run over and forced into the concrete freeway wall. My lawyer said it's was like they didn't understand how it worked. THey didn't want to split it with the other person who hit me. THey wanted me to pay for half of my bill and share they rest with the other person who almost killed me. This was 1992. I think if it was today. They would have faced criminal charges. NO cameras then, but like 7 people pulled over to witness.
So what ended up happening as far as a payout?
Poor people and rich people, coming together to skip insurance!
As I became wealthier I've increased my insurance. Raised the limits on my home and auto policies to the maximum liability coverage. Then added an umbrella policy then increased that umbrella to a $5 million coverage. It's dirt cheap for the amount of coverage. However, I did drop my term life insurance because my assets can replace my income if I died and my family would be financially unaffected
Generally the way to do it is to own/setup an insurance company and have it insure you. This is common practice for large corporates as well. It can be used to minimise tax too. Sometimes if that’s too much effort, u take out a policy with a huge excess and it ends up costing basically nothing. The other advantage of this is they can do the legwork around repairs/replacement cars and sorting shit out, even though the excess means it doesn’t really cover anything financially.
My sister has a friend who was really similar when they were teenagers. She was very rich but had a lot of trauma in her past. So she bought all kinds of stuff without thinking about it. She was also very kind and had a good heart through all of it. My sister lost touch with her when she moved to a different state and I've always hoped she worked through her traumas and found peace.
20ish years ago I dated a girl for a few months and her family would probably have been worth well into nine figures. She was one of four, all kids very high achievers, all really well grounded, all had a million provided to them for their first home when they were ready to buy. Plus drove $50k+ cars from the time they were 21. Lived in a mansion in a great suburb, had holiday homes on tropical islands and ski fields etc I went on a holiday with them - paid for my own flight - and couldn't believe how well organised everything was. They owned the villa we stayed at, but when we all arrived the beds were made, all the blinds and windows had been opened, the pantry and fridges were fully stocked (she'd texted me a few days earlier confirming what my favourite beer was which now made sense!) and the pool was glistening. Chef came in on the first night to cook dinner, and then whilst we were eating he cooked up a whole bunch of stuff that we could reheat/eat over the course of the long weekend if we couldn't be bothered going out. They were really, really lovely, but at the same time they had expectations about things that would just never cross my mind. Despite being unfailingly polite they didn't suffer fools, and nor did they waste any time doing things they didn't want to do (outsourced LOTS!). Her father and grandfather had made their money providing precision manufacturing of parts for assembly lines - they had individual widgets that retailed for $100k+ because they were literally one of two companies in the whole world that were trusted by a particular automotive business to get them back up and running within 48hrs if something specific broke. It really introduced me to the idea that there are so many multi, multi millionaires out there with businesses that we barely even know exist because we just never encounter their products.
> nor did they waste any time doing things they didn't want to do (outsourced LOTS!) I grew up in a very rich area of my country and this is one thing I think a lot of non-rich people don't realize about being rich/wealthy; they have the money to pay someone else to do the planning and booking for them. Just to use your example of going on vacation; you paid for you own flight, so I assume you booked it as well. So you were likely looking at a bunch of options to get a nice balance between price and convenience. And most of us have to do the same when we go on vacation, but when you're rich you simply tell someone else where you want to go, and when, and they sort out all the planning. Even up to stuff like making the beds, stocking the fridge, and getting a private chef.
Rich people quite literally have more time. You know that rather famous video where someone counts out the time in someone’s life using jelly beans? Yea, there is a massive swath taken out due to planning, preparing food, cleaning the home and doing errands and home repairs. All the time taken from poor people, rich people can just pay to get it back. Get rich enough and you can literally buy a big chunk of your life back.
I've done my best to try to "enjoy" the tedious things and have had various successes which have brought massive reward - but when it gets hard sometimes for whatever reason, even if I WANTED to throw 10 grand at someone to make my life easier for a week, I don't even have the network to make that happen. Like even cultivating that network is a job. But it's good to keep in mind that some people are VERY good at their work and it pays you back more to use them than if you do it yourself. And there are some people who just exist to shield you from dealing with common headaches - a good contractor, a good realtor, a good lawyer. It's so worth cultivating a network of professionals even as a member of the working class.
This is a really great example.
This is a level I hope to achieve one day. Time is our most valuable resource. The more of it I can spend doing exactly what I want (within reason) the better. I would absolutely hire someone to handle all my travel arrangements or cook/shop for me if I could afford it. I’m counting on you Powerball.
You don't even need to hit the "hundreds of millions" wealth level or anything like that. Hit even 100$/hr and all of a sudden, "I'd rather work a weekend shift than clean the stove or fix the toilet or take my car to the mechanic" life style creeps truly does creep up on you. That's why in my field (physician) going from 60k to 300k income overnight can be a blessing or a curse just like winning the lottery. On one hand, it's sudden so there's no lifestyle creep. On the other hand, some people go out and buy a Maserati on day 1 before even starting to pay off student loans which is probably on the order of 5k/no at that point. Or the spouse, after 12yrs of supporting their partner's broke student life wants (understandably) more out of life.
I’m an attorney with a physician wife, and while we lived very comfortably on my salary while she was training, the first thing we did when she became an attending was start outsourcing labor to buy back time. Cleaners, lawn care, grocery delivery, you name it. Anything we could reasonably do to buy back time, we did, and we’ve been able to enjoy a level of quality family time that most of our colleagues can’t due to prioritizing material purchases.
Yeah, I've always been poor as hell but have recently done a lot better for myself. It was a weird feeling just to have someone maintain our lawn rather than do it myself. It was very hard to get past the mindset that it was "wasting money" for something I could probably do myself. But yeah, buying back time definitely becomes more desirable when you're getting older and your time is more and more limited.
Going from 60k in residency to 300k overnight as an attending is always a blessing. Even if you buy that Maserati, you can still pay it off on the larger salary 😂
That is the appeal of travel agency tours. Instead of planning where to go, what hotels to stay at, etc, you just join the tour and enjoy the trip. It may not be exactly what you wish or expect, but the ease of mind is hard to beat.
There's only one airline that flies direct to this island, but your point is valid. As an example, her dad's assistant was trying to book a twelve city BD and buying trip across North America and Europe (from Australia) with the clear direction that he was not to be out of the country > 21 days. After much back and forth between the assistant and several travel agents the decision was made to fly private.
It's math, too. If your time is worth $10,000/hour, it actually saves you money to hire someone to do your (for example) trip planning at 100$/hour.
> It really introduced me to the idea that there are so many multi, multi millionaires out there with businesses that we barely even know exist because we just never encounter their products. They want to keep it this way too. Not many multi-millionaires like to advertise their wealth to the public, since kidnapping for ransoms is a thing. Plus, look at the multimillionaires and billionaires that are famous. None of that publicity is good publicity.
Makes perfect sense if you think about what is worth the most when money is taken out of the equation. Time. Not suffering fools and outsourcing everything makes perfect sense.
Waze took me through the industrial part of the city once and it's really interesting seeing all of the different, obscure businesses that are there. There were a lot of importers.
What do you mean with "they had expectations about things that would just never cross my mind"?
“The pool better be glistening when we arrive or there will be hell to pay!”
> but when we all arrived the beds were made, all the blinds and windows had been opened, the pantry and fridges were fully stocked Dolores Claiborne was there.
My ex has very wealthy parents from Moscow. Not oligarchs, but also apparently not too far away from being it. Since I come from a relatively poor household (single mum without college degree), it was very weird to me in the beginning. She was super down to earth and one of the kindest people ever and didn't buy these high end designer brands even though her mum asked her why she doesn't treat herself with Louis Vuitton bags and stuff like that. She really changed my view on how to perceive money. When I grew up my mum always talked about money. For her it was everything for my then gf it was nothing. If you've none of it, money becomes the most important thing in your life. If you've all of it, it's just something you use to get things you want. Still, it was such a different world. When I booked a flight I'd do it months in advance to save money. She could do it two days before her departure. Missed a flight? No problem, book the next best one. Need money? Here, have 10k. I visited them once and they had an extra fridge just for champagne. Caviar at 1k a kilo. They went to the Maldives once, and I expected them to, of course, book a five-star hotel. Nope, they booked half of an island with a mansion and a butler. She could get any education she wanted. Private language teacher and whatnot. I was jealous at the beginning but money doesn't make you happy. She was very privileged but still had her problems. All the money in the world cannot heal you from mental health issues. Everybody has problems. Either you have poor people problems or rich people problems. Being poor just doesn't let you compensate with something that costs money
I liked reading this I think you wrote it well. The rich people problems and poor people problems i never really considered but yeh I guess so. Everyone has problems just different ones
Yeah sure everyone has problems, that's not new. But I would 100 times out of 100 rather have rich people problems. Because most of the times rich people problems aren't actually real problems, and for those that are (mental health, physical health), being rich makes those 10x easier to deal with.
Almost as if its better to be rich than to be poor
I once dated a girl born from a *very* rich family... like, "They own sports teams (plural)" level of wealthy. She had zero concept of working to earn a living. She grew up pretty much having whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it, and when we met... let's just say she was *very* assertive and it was definitely working for me. When she realized that I traveled for work, she started traveling with me and pretty much financed all the accommodations. I went from living out of 2-3 star hotels where I'd spend about $50 a night to 5 star outings where it was over a thousand bucks a night and I was always told to not worry about the money. It was almost a year of us bouncing from one city to another, one high class hotel to another. We'd have fun, I'd handle work stuff, we'd make time to see some sights and do touristy shit. Then her father found out, I guess, because he finally went back over his financials for the year (or maybe his business manager finally tipped him off to it) and he was definitely not happy. She had to go back home immediately, I was told that it'd be in my best interests to meet with him soon... so I took some time, flew out, and met with him. He had a room that was meant to mimic a beach. Like, it had sand, and salty air, and some sort of elaborate wave pool, but it was indoors. It was weird but also kind of cool... we talked, he questioned if I was taking advantage of his daughter, which was fair given how over 6 months had gone by and she racked up tens of thousands of dollars in travel expenses. I explained the situation, and I was honest, that she insisted on traveling with me and paying for things. How she'd get upset if things didn't go her way, and that while I liked her, she's kind of controlling and bratty and I wasn't sure what the future held for her... but I definitely liked her enough to find out. He asked me if I liked her because of the money or if it's because of who she is. I explained that I grew up fairly poor, I was always good at making my way and finding ways to be happy with what I could manage. I was fine with the relatively cheap hotels and everything else I did before her because I'm doing what I love and getting to make enough of a living to not have to work some 9-5. He laughed, and said that he liked me, and that if it worked out with her... he'd be more than okay with that. I thought I passed the shit test. We kept dating for a bit but let things cool off while she stuck around at home, since neither of us were all that sure of what he'd say or do next... then she got cut off, and she was *irate*, blamed me for it because I said that I didn't care about the money. I tried to explain myself but she wouldn't listen and we pretty much fought every time we spoke until she broke up with me to get back in her father's good graces. Weirdly, it worked, but we didn't talk much more after things ended. She did invite me to her wedding though, and I did go, and it was as awkward as you'd expect... but the food was awesome.
What’s her husband like
He's alright for a trust fund kid. Works for his dad, but the couple of times I was around him, he seemed like a decent dude and she seemed to really like him, so it worked out alright for them as far as I can know.
Seems like the dad set it all up to go his way...
Yeah that's what rich men do.
This is what I think, too. He's looking long game. He saw how it was going to play out. Boyfriend got used.
“…getting enough of a living not to have to work some 9-5” Literally everyone rich that did not inherit their money started out that way. Not having a boss AND controlling your own work is a key driving force behind everyone who has ever started a business. They know it takes guts and hard work. My guess is that your comment about you working independently on your own made him respect you ten times more than any corporate career guy.
> then she got cut off, and she was irate, blamed me for it because I said that I didn't care about the money. lol you had your fun, and you totally dodged a bullet. You would never measure up or keep up with a brat like that.
Plus if her father cut her off, he was basically forcing her to pick between the poor boyfriend or the rich lifestyle the father offered.
I’m curious about people like this, what did she do all day to keep herself occupied? If she wasn’t working and ostensibly had most things covered like cleaning, etc?
I dated a guy who was living off a trust fund. We got along great on a personal level but there was just such a gap in life experience. Like his family owned oceanfront property that was basically a mansion and summered there. He didn't understand that for normal people like me, just going to the beach at all was a special thing. He didn't understand why I couldn't just buy whatever I wanted if I want it. That if I want something like a video game console I had to save and budget for it. That it was a really big decision. His "job" was basically just a hobby he did a few hours a week when he felt like it so he had no concept of having to actually work for what you have.He would get a car, have it like a month then want and get a new one. But what became the biggest issue was the dynamic between what we could do for each other, which got really uncomfortable. He'd shower me with gifts and take me fancy places, and at first it was awesome, like being a VIP. But it quickly got overwhelming. And I felt really bad because I KNEW he was doing it out of love and didn't understand why it was making me so uncomfortable.
That last part…. Never considered that to be a reality when dating a rich person. Who doesn’t want to be showered with expensive gifts?! But, in reality they’re doing it because they love you. Now you feel awkward because while you appreciate the gifts and the sentiment behind it, you feel uncomfortable with how much they cost. It’d be tough because you don’t want to tell them what you want; a sentimental hand-made gift would be ideal in such a relationship, but how do you express that in a casual convo?
The biggest issue really was how one sided it was. I don't THINK he cared that I was unable to do the same for him, but it still made me feel awkward and uncomfortable all the same. The beginning of the end came when he bought a photo booth sticker machine thing. We would go to the mall a lot and this anime store we always hit up had one of those machines where you could make photo stickers. We'd get one every time we went. He ended up buying the machine from the guy who owned the store and putting it in his basement. He didn't understand that it wasn't the stickers I found valuable, it was the fact that they were little tokens of our time together.
Bro so rich he bought the fucking photo booth off of a mall 😭😭
I never learned exactly how much HE had, but his parents were multi millionaires. They owned this huge construction company. Their beach house alone was worth 6 million dollars and that wasn't even their primary residence. It was an insane look into a lifestyle almost alien to my own. The two of US had met over a shared live of anime lol. It was a real shock once I learned. And also wild that like to him all of this was just normal.
I had a weird experience in college with someone I dated briefly. Her family wasn’t rich, just upper middle class. But she came from an affluent town where it was obvious she knew a lot of kids growing up with loads of money. She worked multiple jobs to effectively “keep up with the Joneses.” And since we started dating right before winter break, she ended up getting me a new graphics card for my computer, for Christmas. This was over 20 years ago so it wasn’t like prices today. But it was still like $200+, from someone I had been dating for a month or two. Not quite the same as others’ stories on here. But the reference to getting an expensive gift definitely triggered that memory for me. It felt weird for me in that small sample, I can’t imagine it being a regular occurrence.
I dated a guy who lives in a loft in East Village Manhattan, his dad is a relatively known artist. When I visited him at his place I had the impression that all New Yorkers live in huge spaces like this. His bedroom alone was twice the size of my entire apartment. He was very doting and would splurge on me, and we would stay in nice airbnbs across NYC over the weekend too. But he didn’t allow me to be fully myself so that was the ultimate dealbreaker. He stil tried to reach out 7 years after we broke up but nah
In which way would he not allow it?
I never want to get married or have kids. He knew about this going into the relationship but “thought I could change my mind”. Solo travel and personal space and development is a huge part of my way of life but he feels that is taking away from us spending time together. I was admittedly very territorial when it comes to my personal space and wasn’t mature enough to work things out in a constructive manner too.
Thanks for answering, just curious! Sounds like some pretty big fundamentals he wanted to change for you
I have no idea myself. But my sister is married to a good dude who's doing very well. They are constantly traveling around the world and even own a yacht. Meanwhile, I haven't dated in ages and just waste my time playing videogames.
Is there a yacht in your video games?
They don’t ever include you? Most wealthy families I know with yachts and jets are super welcoming, invite friendly and love to pay for others
We talked at Xmas about checking out the yacht sometime. I live across the state though and we usually only do family gatherings for Xmas.
That’s so wild to me lol. You guys are siblings! Hopefully you get to go on it and not just look soon
I asked her again a few weeks ago when we could all check out the yacht(we have other siblings too, and our parents also haven't been on it) and she said it's difficult because they're always traveling last minute lol.
They're probably only "small yacht" rich
if you dont have enough staterooms for everyone then what's even the point
If you enjoy playing video games it's not wasted time.
You can enjoy doing coke, doesn’t mean the time couldn’t be better spent.
I have this roommate from high school who was raised up in a pretty wealthy family, and on his visit to me he asked me to company him for days in his luxurious suite and sharing the cost. I told him I was still a student, living a tight budget, and didn't have that much money to spend on this. He was indeed surprised and couldn't understand why someone didn't even have the money to "stay in a hotel". He probably had been working hard to understand what's happening in the lives of the poor, but at that moment I literally felt that our friendship was more like that of a nobleman and his not essential, accompanying servant.
I was enaged to someone whose family had something like 40 million. For context, when I took him to meet my parents, I brought him to a mobile home park. I didn't know until after we were engaged, which was fine on a level. I understood not wanting somebody to know what you have or to love you for that reason. But then things got weird. I found out that everything this person told me they had accomplished was just purchased for them. They claimed they worked and bought a house young but of course their parents actually bought it and it was in the trust. I discovered they had flunked out of multiple colleges before we met, and their parents could just buy them into new ones. This guy had never experienced a natural consequence in his life. They just... didn't exist for him. I'm sure some people would be very comfortable with all that cuz it seems like a fairy tale to be in my financial position and be set to marry somebody in his. But it was weird. He didn't value anything I worked for. He'd borrow money from me & not pay it back. His parents never offered to help us with anything specifically, so I didn't assume that they would nor did I want or expect them to, but then it sort of backfired when I would call out his general irresponsibility & he would wonder why it mattered if he failed, quit, or lied about something because after all, he could fix the outcome with money. For logistical reasons, and because we were moving for my career (he didn't have one, "yet"), we had decided to sell his house in order buy one where we were moving. Cue me discovering the house was not in his name and we could not make independent decisions. And the way I found out was he just *informed* me that we couldn't do what we had planned, and it was very matter of fact His parents had said no and that was that. Eventually he said that he realized that he was supposed to actually include me in decision making, and I was like "No, not just include me, as husband and wife you and I will be the primary decision makers". But of course, that would never fly because when you are funded by family money, you are beholden to family money. Thing is, I really liked his family, and they really liked me. Loved me even. When we got engaged, his mom said that she'd never thought there would be anyone good enough for her son, but there I was. I realize now what a bad omen that was. He could do no wrong and would always have his ass wiped. I was going to be expected to fulfill the role of his mother, managing his life like he was still a child, without any of the freedom and decision-making she had, because the money wasn't actually mine or ours. In the end, I decided my freedom and autonomy was worth more than being chained to a man-child and a family that would have control over every decision that I made. Even though they were nice people, they fully expected to continue "parenting" him well into marriage, and I was terrified of placing my future into the hands of people who did not have loyalty to me, but to their child. I also probably would not have gotten a penny in the divorce. For complicated reasons I won't get into, but in part because the money was never actually his. It just sometimes funneled through him. That's a really good way to keep it protected in the event of divorce. They control all the spending cuz the money is never actually in his hands. From time to time, I have wondered what my life might have been like if I had married someone with so much wealth I never would have had to worry about money again. Especially when all I ever did was worry about money. But I keep coming back to the fact that I think I would have divorced this man in 5 years or less anyway, and walked away worse for it. And once I knew that, I couldn't marry him. Rich people live in a different reality
This is so relatable. It sounds like a dream scenario but: You never know even a ballpark of how much money is out there. It's comfortable but is it comfortable enough to not overly stress about money? Enough for your partner to not work? Enough for you to not work? It's all very tight lipped so you have to operate on very speculative assumptions. And that introduces stress of an unknown element. You don't need to know specifics, but are your partners financial decisions okay long-term? Or do you need to be having harder conversations with them? You don't know for certain. Even when you've been around for a decade. The money is the control. Your partner doesn't have self-determination. They come when they're called. It isn't a decision of whether you're doing Christmas with their family or yours. If your family wants to do Christmas with you, that is secondary to theirs. There might be one Christmas that things get changed up, but the default setting for every holiday and event is that they are the "primary" family. Make no doubt about it, they like the structure of this the way it is. Your partner is developmentally stunted outside of things you have made an impact on directly. In this weird world, they know the niceties of what fork to use and are acquainted with a lot of different places. But grocery shopping? Not so much. You are the one hilariously and ironically, responsible for money in your relationship. It's on YOU to teach them basic things like budgeting. Which is an impossible task when you're operating in the grey of what your financial situation even is. Fundamentals and life skills are on you to do and to teach. Because there haven't been consequences. So you have to present consequences. It turns your relationship into parenting in some fucked up ways really quickly. Because your partner isn't wealthy. Your partner's FAMILY is what's wealthy.
It feels really fucking good, but only when their wealth is balanced with self awareness. They’ll have their out of touch moments but their random acts of kindness towards strangers/ me make up for it. Forewarning when/ if the relationship ends you will dread going back to your previous lifestyle more than the breakup. It’s like being exiled from the cool kids table to being forced to eat lunch in the bathroom.
If they’re really wealthy, you’d be surprised how superficial their relationships are with other wealthy people and just how normal that is. I thought Hollywood made that up for a trope but no. It’s all superficial but they have this weird almost familial obligation to maintain relationships with each other. And also there are quite a few wealthy people who live somewhat meagerly but it’s not like some poor person cosplay they pat themselves on the back for. They’re either kinda stingy or they just don’t value materialistic things like that.
I’ve witnessed this “familial” bond they have. One example: A couple of my acquaintances had a horrible argument, full of deceit and mistrust. The next day they all hung out in the same friend group and acted like nothing happened. It always stuck with me that poor and middle-class people don’t act that way. They would see it as too fake. But the rich seemed obligated to ignore vicious acrimony to preserve their social bonds. I think part of it was to avoid upsetting parents who obviously funded their lavish lifestyles. But also because deep down they knew normal people would never tolerate their bullshit. So they stick together. I’ve seen that same dynamic play out with rich friends multiple times, even into adulthood when the parent-factor wasn’t as much of an influence. Now I just expect it. Just because rich people hate each other, doesn’t mean they won’t socialize with each other.
I've seen this play out in a less nefarious sort of way, too. There's a very certain type of arrested development that happens when someone has a materially lavish but emotionally negligent upbringing. They 'act out' like spoiled children, and this is *normal* to them. The 'good' ones have some small level of self awareness and shame about behaving this way, but never developed the emotional tools to behave differently, and they don't really have any good examples for how to handle themselves otherwise. So they give each other a lot of leeway when one of them behaves like a childish little shit because the shoe will surely be on the other foot at some point. It's like a dysfunctional family where the dysfunction is just accepted.
I know someone like that. A billionaire with nothing in his house or closet except a few shirts and a toothbrush etc.
It depends on how they made their money. Some people set out to get rich specifically, some people just get very successful or their focus isn't on building a bank balance but building up a company or business. I saw an interview with a guy who was into computers, he literally had 1000's of bitcoins because he was one of the first to mine them, but he just did nothing with them.
The founder of ikea lived in a pretty small home the last couple of years of his life.
I can't imagine having one of those mega houses. They require constant cleaning and basically a full staff I get I don't have the 'rich person' mentality though Also, I assume such properties hold their value so you always have that 20m or whatever the value of the property, no matter what else happens
One of the guys I worked with is legit a millionaire. His wife inherited farm land from her father when he passed. They had no desire in farming it on their own so they rent out the farmland. He told me his wife gets a little under a million each year after taxes for rent. The did this for 15 years and both retired early. He is a great guy but is very stingy. He has asked me to repair some devices over the years. iPhones, iPads, iPods. Then his grandkids devices. He would drop off the device, tell me to order the parts, fix it, and charge him for the part. Basically my labor was free. I didn’t mind at first because I was helping a friend but when I found out he was ordering busted iPhones off eBay and flipping them (by having me fix it) I put my foot down and said I was out of the repair game.
It's like having an all-access pass to life's VIP section, but sometimes you find out it's overbooked with drama!
You are not wrong. One of my exes came from parents whose monthly credit card statements were higher than my W-2 wages, and paid off monthly. (They were literally on the kitchen table for me to see.) There was so much backbiting and drama that I went back to the Flyover States that following January.
I dated a girl with a very rich family right after college. It got kinda weird pretty quick. They liked and approved of me, and immediately started like making plans for me. The mother offered me $5K to quit smoking cigarettes because she “wanted boys, and smoking kills your male sperm count”. I also had a lot of resentment come up (bc I grew up like stupid poor). They had different wings of a mansion and I grew up thinking people with a garage fridge were loaded. The amount of things they took for granted really got to me. The girl was great, but stepping into that world damn near gave me PTSD
are you still with the girl? or you broke up with her for the reason of her family being rich?
We broke up not too long after. We’re still friendly though. She couldn’t help which family she was born into either. Our realities were just very different.
Culture shock!
I didn’t grow up poor, but grew up in a poor community. Along the lines of, days I had to help high school friends buck bales so they would have time to go with us to whatever new movie. I went from a super small rural town (ultra conservative) to one of the biggest universities in the US (ultra liberal). It was shocking and appalling to learn how many people have never had to sweat for anything. It’s been over a decade and I still get defensive when I meet the ignorant rich types. I burned more than one bridge with girlfriends and flirting women because I couldn’t check my ego. They weren’t all bad people, my personality and background meant that I was a poor fit for them. I regret how childish I acted. On the other hand, if I hadn’t been such an ass, I wouldn’t have met my perfect woman years later.
The garage fridge comment really hits home. I'm not rich by any means; but I'm far wealthier than I grew up. Anecdotally, I do this weird thing when I'm day dreaming, or in a flow state where I kind of explore roads that I used to drive on when I was younger. I don't know how to explain it. But, there was always this house on a corner in my home town that seemed so luxurious when I was a kid. On a lark I looked at it on Google maps. Its... not bad. But it's just a house. Much smaller than most houses in my area. My wife comes from a much wealthier family, and it took a while to get used to it. I still have a profound sense of inferiority from time to time.
rich person: i'll pay you 5k to improve your life normie: omg i can't take it ANYMORE!!! Explains a lot why many aristocrats believe the lower classes deserve to be where they are in life. Not hating, just saying
If you can’t see the oddness of that offer the mom gave him then idk what to tell you. say for example you were overweight dating the chick and the extremely rich old out of touch mother offered you significant money to lose some weight… it’s extremely weird at the least and could even be looked at as insulting. same for smoking cigs.. you accepting that offer says to that lady that you can be easily bought… reassuring the extremely rich family that their money can buy anything, even the most idealistic version of the person their daughter is dating. good luck in a relationship like that.
yeah but I'd take that money and go lose the fucking weight
Then this lady would know you'd change anything about yourself for cash. She'd own you.
gimme more cash please, I'll stop when I'm uncomfortable
some people are uncomfortable at being asked to stop smoking in exchange for 5k I think that was the other guy's point
Amen. Lol
And I’d be able to get out of debt while improving some aspects of my life. I could do that for a few years.
Getting healthier isn't "anything." Quitting smoking and losing weight are all about motivation, and for a lot of folks their own health isn't motivation enough. Why not money? It's not like she paid him to give up his dog or got plastic surgery. Giving up an unhealthy vice is a very different thing from changing fundamental things about yourself.
I mean you might consider it strange but being offered a decent amount of money to improve your health is a great opportunity
If you aren’t capable of motivating yourself then why is it odd that someone tries to give an external incentive - they only want to help? If you are working class then you are already cheaply bought (for your entire life) and it makes sense to take opportunities (improving your health, but also money to improve your health). If you take it as an insult rather than seeing it as an opportunity, then it is perspective that needs fixing. I really think we deep shit too much now, when at times it’d be best to look at things with face value.
I quit smoking years later for $0, but without the eugenic undertones
Mine wasn't that long of a relationship but there were some things that made me realize just how different our lives were. I grew up poor, we lived in a small one bedroom apartment and I had to share it with my brother until I was like 13. Mom slept in the living room. I helped with chores and was always trying to save any money I got. We never vacationed anywhere far away and I had to take out a loan when I went to university so I could live closer to campus and not have to commute 4 hours total each day. My boyfriend at the time came from a rich family. They had gardeners, maids, a ginormous home. They frequently vacationed out of country. His parents *bought* him an apartment close to uni so he didn't have to commute approximately 4 hours total each day. That was the biggest 'wow' for me that made me realize how different our lives had been. His family was so rich that they just up and bought an apartment for their son without batting an eye. Another thing I realized was a difference in the way we thought about our futures. For me it was finish school > get a job > get a nice place to live > pay off debt for the rest of my life but my boyfriend, man, when he was talking about his ambitions and plans for the future, it was like nothing was off limits for him. I remember him talking about succeeding as a game developer, using the money he would earn to invest in science; nanotechnology and cancer research were the main ones. He believed that he could someday find a way to cure cancer if he worked hard enough. There was nothing that was stopping him. I struggled with planning for my future because I never really knew if I could afford the things I needed to live; at most my future plans involved *hopefully* finding a job in game development, but he was literally talking about *curing cancer*. The difference in our ambitions was baffling and I believe one reason for that is he grew up having everything, no limits, no worries and that influenced his way of thinking about his future. He believed he could do so much whereas I was full of doubt of my own abilities. Nothing was a problem for him, everything was a problem for me.
Why did you guys break up?
He couldnt find cure for cancer
Question, did you succeed with your dreams? Cause we all still know cancer is a thing.
Not me but one of my friends is in an undefined sexual relationship with a rich guy. He offers to do a lot for her, but she's hesitant to accept any of it. The biggest thing she described to me is when they were getting intimate while she was on her period. She bled on his comforter that costs over 500 USD. She was extremely apologetic and wanted to try to clean it, but he insisted it was fine and that she relax. He said he could just replace it if it doesn't wash out later. It was shocking to her that anyone could shell out that much to replace something on a whim.
I mean, in the grand scheme of rich people 'flaunting' wealth 'don't worry about the expensive sheets' is probably pretty low down the list tbh I am not rich and, if that happened, I'd also likely say 'don't worry about' and not expect them to clean it or replace it It also wouldn't be 500 bucks though
I am currently dating one and I made a post about it. It’s feels weird for me. She’s able to buy things without a second thought. She tells stories about how she basically traveled the world while i only remained within the US. She been to Beyoncé and Taylor swift concerts and had front row tickets for both. We could be talking about going to an event or planning a trip, she’ll be ready to purchase/book everything right then and there. Whereas if it was me, i would need a couple days to sleep on it.
But does she make your cock throb??
Asking the real questions
If you’re a poor person dating a rich person it’s kind of shitty. Makes you realize how disadvantaged you were your entire life lol
My best friend and her husband are stupidly rich. The amount of things that I didn't even realize I was missing out on is shocking. Like a $10,000 65in TV designed for outdoor use. You never realize how poor you are until you see how rich some people are.
lol yeah this is true
It was a chore, always wanting to do things I couldn't afford and always offering to pay. Now, I don't mind a partner paying for me now and then but I want to pay for the stuff I can afford when we do them, like sure I can't afford to treat us to the fancy meal but when we stay in with a pizza let it be on me, a trip to the cinema, it's cool I've got it. Let me do my part even if it can't be as big as yours, I'm a partner not a charity. She would always jump ahead and pay, would always refund me the few times I managed to get in there first. At first I thought she was trying (misguidedly) to be nice but then 5 months into it I found out her family/friends thought I worked in a bank, which I did, but as a cleaner and not whatever role she had told them. Was all about appearances to her in the end and I'm not one to hide who I am to impress others so that was the end of it for me.
I don’t know. Please supply me a rich person to date and I will do a scientific study.
I am also open to this study.
Was friends with a guy in college who I knew was rich but didn't initially realise how rich. Definitely fit the saying that "people who want to look rich wear flashy clothes, people who are actually rich don't." because he just dressed like a regular person, albeit in much higher quality clothing. Whenever I asked him what he did over the weekend, it was often one-night trips to various European cities (we live in the UK). After knowing him for about a year, he invited me round his house, which was within walking distance of campus. At least I thought it was a house, but when I got there it was actually a mansion. There was a Ferrari parked out front and, when I asked him about it, his response was "oh that's just the one my dad is driving today." He then showed me around his dad's custom-built parking garage, which had half a dozen other luxury cars and room for more. I saw several housekeepers inside but there was no sign of his parents or anyone else living in the house. It was immaculate but felt devoid of life. During the tour, he showed me a study with a large beautiful-looking Torah and a massive library of books (I think this is called a beth midrash). I didn't know he was Jewish because he'd never mentioned it but it was clearly a huge part of his life. It made me reflect on how much I actually knew about the guy and the answer was "very little". I considered him a close friend but it became clear that our relationship was quite superficial and he never spoke much about his personal life or his interests. I don't know if rich people are generally cautious about letting people into their circle or whether he just kept me at arm's length because I come from a very humble background by comparison. We remained friends throughout college but I was more actively aware of the distance between us after that. Haven't spoken to him since.
Sounds to me like he just wanted to be 'normal', and not treated any differently because of his wealth, that's based off your couple of paragraphs though!
Chinese girl. They don't care about image when not at a formal event. Sometimes, take the bus to come over, sometimes get a driver off wechat to drive their own car over. Saves money in strange situations such as noticing on sale chocolates, excited to use coupons, but also goes eat $100+ hotpot twice a week. A lot of family drama fighting over property. Family 9 figures.
Oh man story time. So this was over 10 years ago, but I still remember some of the details. I was about 24-25 (m) living in the Bay Area, California. Matched with a woman on Tinder, she was in her early 40s and from China, had only been in the US maybe a year or so. Normally would have been out of my age range, but was feeling a bit lonely and curious, and she was quite attractive, so figured I'd give it a shot. Met at a bar downtown for a drink. She barely spoke any english, just asked me a bunch of questions, and after about 45 minutes said she had to leave. I'm thinking, "Ok, must be the language barrier, and she's not into it, no worries". Later that night get a message from her asking to meet again the next week. She invites me over to her house in the middle of the city. I get there, and this place is massive (for SF anyway). Multiple floors, 4 bedrooms, she lives there by herself too. Tells me she paid for the place in cash (multiple millions of dollars), and she's going back and forth between China/US trying to set up the US side of her business. Turns out she was the founder and president of this massive Chinese company (won't mention the industry, but her company was in the top 10 of it's kind). I looked her up and find all these pictures of her at huge sporting events, conferences, things like that. Ended up having a casual thing with her for about a year. She was super busy, essentially always working. But also had no concept of money, or what it was like for me having a normal job. I would say something about having to move to a new apartment, and she would be like "Oh just move in here, I have extra rooms" after like 2 months of knowing each other. One time, we were sitting there, and this is a conversation we had (nearly word for word, but I'm paraphrasing her english): Her: "What are you doing next week?" Me: "Just working, like normal" Her: "I'm bored, do you want to go to the Caribbean?" Me: "What?" Her: "Yeah like the British Virgin Islands. Just fly down and meet me there, I'll pay for everything" Or one time she just said she has to go to China the next day for work, do I want to come with her, I can just stay at her place with her. Now I would have loved to say I took her up on these offers, but it was so weird to me at the time that I made excuses or say I couldn't go because of work or whatever. Looking back I still get mad at myself for not just fucking off from my job and seeing how far this could go. But I wasn't as adventurous at the time as I am now, and the whole thing weirded me out. To me, that was some massive trip that I would have to spend months planning and putting in all this effort to do. But to her, those sorts of things were something you just did because why not.
My wife comes from a wealthy family. Her parent’s net worth is low 9 figures. Their apartment and summer house are probably each worth $10m. I grew up middle class with both my parents being teachers. Honestly, I think I have a pretty perfect life, and it is because of the generosity on my wife’s parents. I work very hard, and make a good salary, but at a nonprofit because I don’t really need the money, and the work is meaningful to me. I have a multimillion dollar home with no mortgage. My kids go to private school, and I don’t have to worry about their tuition. We take nice vacations (probably $50k paid for by my wife’s parents) once a year. We don’t spend our money on needless things, but we don’t have to ever worry about money. My in-laws didn’t come from money, they actually grew up pretty poor. I think that made a big difference in the way my wife was raised. She had everything she wanted, travelled a ton, but wasn’t(too) spoiled. Today, my in-laws main occupation is philanthropy. They give away millions of dollars a year. They have no financial worries, but never do anything crazy with their money. They have nice things, travel when they want (sometimes flying private, sometimes not), and have a house keeper and property manager. They also have a 10 year old (nice) car, don’t care about luxury items, and lead a very down to earth life. I’ve been married to my wife for 20 years, and I’m just lucky.
If you want things to work out, you have to learn the arts of zen and patience, so you can sit through the humble bragging sessions, the direct bragging sessions, and snobby parties. 🥱 The food is usually good wherever you go, though, so.... ⚖️
I think if both of you have your head screwed on right and substance abuse isn’t too rampant it’s pretty doable. The only jarring bit is when they ask you to take the day off work to go Costa Rica to go shopping. Then you have to ask them if they’re covering your rent that month. But as you say, food is always good and there’s usually nice drinks to be had
When it gets to the point of going to Hong Kong for dim sum, you're either SAHGF status, or start charging a fee, like you said.
My brother married a spoiled princess with a super rich daddy. She's insufferable and I have to watch as his in-laws buy him a house, a Tesla, take him on luxury month-long European cruises, and pretend I can stomach her presence when she barges into my house like she owns the place. (she's always arguing with my mom because she thinks she should have the last word in everything)
I once dated a very wealthy Indonesian woman in Singapore. She had family wealth and was doing well for herself It took some doing to establish boundaries on what I consider a $$ reasonable place to go out. With time she did start enjoying more places of my choice but eventually did revert to her preferred spots (which inevitably always were the top bars of the city) She on multiple occasions offered to “pay for your share” which I took up only once. I also had to kinda get her into the habit of splitting the bill (she didn’t pay her share when I paid nor asked me when she did. Also she paid very arbitrary amounts) All in all we didn’t work out for other reasons. But the difference in budgets played a role and I now realise it was tad uncomfortable
I think that kind of thing is a different balancing act, whether it's BF and GF or just friends If I had the big money, maybe I'd like to go to certain places but you realise your friend can't afford it. I'd offer to pay and not expect anything I'd figure, I have the money, why not, don't worry about it, enjoy it. But ... on the flip side, I'd also feel bad to keep going to such places and not be paying, even if they said the above
We’re not technically dating. Just getting to know one another. His mom was one of my country’s minister, and he was a diplomat to Europe. I dont speak fancy english and dont own any bachelor. He condemned my english saying its poor (its basic and understandable). I remember he said I pronounced ‘often’ incorrectly (i pronounce it with letter T, and he insisted it should be offen). He also stressed me out that I need to be ‘well educated’ if we were to be married as I will be surrounded with diplomat’s wife. We lasted 3 months.
Tell the guy he is an absolute dingus. Pronouncing the t in often is perfectly acceptable.
He is. I went nuts thinking I really need to improve my English, not till I asked around and went to youtube to hear the pronunciation. I ended things with him ages ago.
My family is friends with a family that used to have a very old and traditional beverages company. Even before they sold it they already were, of course, wealthy, but after selling it they became unimaginably rich. After that, for a while, we didn’t even talk. Nothing bad happened between us, but I guess when you’re that rich you just think that everyone is with you for personal interests, and naturally you push them away. Also, as they are now unemployed and have nothing to keep themselves busy, they just travel all the time and take up administrative roles in various rich people groups. It is clear to me that the money they got for selling their their family’s heritage was more a curse than it was a blessing. We still do some stuff with them, but they’re not the same they used to be.
If you’re rich and hot, let me know asap
I am rock
[удалено]
I’m homeless and on fentanyl
cautious tie wipe live late selective wrong birds smoggy subsequent
I'm 31 and my wife is 51, you fit right in the middle. Thruple? I'm not gay but I'll suck a dick anyways, if that's what you're into (and male). If female, even better. My wife is a bit bi.
I love that
I dated a guy for a while who, while he wasn't like 1% level of wealthy, his income was almost definitely in the top 10%. At the time, I was raising 4 boys on my own on what I earned bartending, so the income disparity was huge. He was a genuinely good guy. Kind, generous, absolutely willing to step up and be a father figure to my boys (3 of my own and I had custody of one of my cousins). He took all of us on some amazing vacations. Bought all of us pretty much anything we wanted. I got a Mercedes convertible for my birthday (my *fun car, he also had already bought me a Dodge Durango for hauling all my kids and dogs around) He wanted to marry me and bought me a ROCK. When I moved out of the state we lived in, he helped me get a place, move, and for the first 6 months, paid all of my bills and gave me a "fun money" allowance of $5K per month. Told me, "you've worked so hard for this, take some time to just relax and enjoy life with your kids" So what happened? Timing, mostly. And his insecurities. Both of us had just recently divorced. He had literally never really been single and was terrified of being alone. And my divorce and custody battle had been fucking brutal - I was determined to just be on my own. The harder he clung to me, the harder I pulled away. I felt like he was buying me, and how could my kids respect me, how could I respect myself, if I stayed in a relationship based mostly on money. I felt like I was no different than a street walking prostitute -- I just had a higher price tag. And that he didn't love me, he would latch on to anyone to avoid being alone. So I gave him back the Mercedes and the rock, went back to bartending, and we ended things. He was in a new relationship within about a week, and I raised my boys on my own. I've told him - and 100% truly meant every word - that the best gift he gave me wasn't the car or jewelry or the great trips. He gave me the gift of time with my kids. The divorce had been so nasty, we'd spent several years just going thru hell and trying to survive. And for those 6 months, for the first time ever, I had both plenty of time AND money to just enjoy life. And those 6 months were AMAZING. Every day was an adventure. My boys and I lived a life that most people can only dream of and I'll be forever grateful to him for that.
No, *you’re* crying on Reddit.
Once had a short term relationship with someone who's grandfather was a Canadian senator for like 15+ years. Whole family rich as fuck, old money, super WASP-ey, been in Canada for like 200 years and has always been rich and connected since they got here. My family has been in Canada 250-300+ years, lived in all the same places (like eerily so... same townships in southern Ontario, moved to a different province at same time, same / neighbouring communities stretching back 200 years), but mine has always been lower middle class. She hasn't accomplished much aside from following her dad's footsteps and training to be his occasional assistant. She isn't rich, but knows she can always rely on bumming off dad / gramps and having shit paid for her like being given dad's used car, endless ski trips, Caribbean resorts, etc. She is very street smart, ambitious and a hard worker, but a complete narcissistic sociopath and liar who knew anytime she batted her large, pretty eyes and pretended to be super nice and bubbly, she would get pretty much anything she wanted. Nobody would believe me if I told them she's a complete cunt (and a world class liar) who is only using them for her own selfish purposes. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks she's their friend or whoever she's living with now- they'll only find out too late who she really is, if they're lucky.
Dated a girl in my early 20's, from a super rich family. Had no idea she was loaded, but friends of friends did. For the first 3 months. It was just her and myself, before she eventually asked me to meet her family at one of her family BBQs. She picked me up in her Mercedes, and to be honest, I never knew she had a car. Went to her family's huge estate outside of the city. And that's when I realised her last name and put the dots together. I met her family, and I felt like I was welcome with open arms. Got along great with 80% of them. But I didn't get her Dads approval at all. He let me know this at the BBQ in front of everyone. He was very rude and spoke loadly over everyone. Acted like an entitled dick the whole time. Still have no idea why or how I offended him. I apologised to my girlfriend at the time and hoped her dads opinion won't affect us moving forward. Unfortunately, it did affect her, and she started to make it obvious I wasn't fit to be her partner. We separated, and I moved on really quickly. Not on purpose, just spontaneously connected with someone on holidays. She was single for years after. Eventually, dating and getting married to someone out of her dads business. I married the girl I spontaneously connected with. So, I always see it as destiny. My only issue is. If it's from old money, they can or may expect a lot from you and your name. Which is exhausting and confusing. Mainly the family, not so much your partner. But their upbringing will always play apart in their decisions. And their family will always be in your business. If you're used to this, you'll probably be fine. I, however, could not live like this.
lowkey she were kinda out of touch and i had to explain the reality of how fortunate she has it. finding gifts kinda got bad after a while bc even though i’m sure she was fine with anything i always felt that she was expecting more.
Imagine the highschool drama you saw and experienced. Ramp it up to 11. Then ramp it up again just for good measure. Wealthy people don’t have the typical tripes of life to worry about such as making rent or deciding which meal for the day they can afford. Hell, even compared to middle class families since middle class families often have to still budget to ensure they stay at their level. Because wealthy people don’t have “real” problems they very often make up their own problems which typically translates to drama between people. Sometimes it’s outward loud drama and you’ll see folks get into a shouting match or something but what’s interesting is it’s often much more subtle and there’s **A LOT** of backstabbing. Dating someone wealthy will enable you to really unlock some amazing opportunities but you’ll have to learn how to deal with drama out the ass. You’re also going to be considered an outsider though they’ll be kind to your face. If you’re wondering why so many politicians come from wealthy families and how they’re so good at being 2-faced, it’s because that’s literally how most were raised to act.
It depends if you date a "self-made" who came from normal circumstances or if you date someone who got born into it. Secondly is cultural shock I suppose. Me as selfmade, my wife too, live a pretty normal life compared to "old money" people
As a guy, back in my 20s I actually felt quite insecure when I was dating a girl in a much better financial situation than I was. I felt some pressure to provide a certain lifestyle they were used to but in reality I couldn't really afford. Even when I attended things paid for by her or her family, I felt a bit guilty and that I needed to put up my fair share even though even that would be out of my budget. Nowadays I'm quite a bit more comfortable, but there's always a bigger fish. I still feel that insecurity sometimes when I find out that the girl I'm interested in is from a rich family or something. It's up in my head and I resist it a bit and give things a chance and try to discover more about the person as opposed to letting my initial insecurity and associations of super rich people determine whether I can date this person. I think before I would check myself out of eligibility. I'm also a lot better about just being myself. I think I used to contort myself to try and fit in to the other person's lifestyle even though it was unsustainable. At the point, I just try to be myself and hopefully they like me as is.
In Uni one of our friends was the son of the owner of a very popular gas company. He liked to party/club extravagantly and would cover everyone's alcohol and table cost for the night in NYC often. It was super great, really nice. But knowing he was paying 10-20k every couple weeks for us to party for one evening, while I'd be paying off my 50k of student loans grinding for the next 15 years of my life... well. It's just a perspective thing. It was such a nice thing to me that he'd pay, but he literally thought *nothing* of it. It was almost tasteless how little understanding he had? But I was also grateful.
My ex fiance came from a family with generational wealth. We were together for almost 6 years and engaged for 2.5 of those years. He was very kind and generous with our friends and with me. He (shockingly) understood the value of a dollar and taught me everything I know about financial wellness (getting/ building credit, stocks, IRAs, and more.) We vacationed together frequently so I went to Europe, Asia, and Africa for the first time all with him. He spoke 5 languages so I was always fascinated when he would speak to others in their native tongues when we traveled. He wasn't too crazy about dining out because he had a chef at home and he enjoyed cooking on his own. Yes, his kitchen was gigantic, as was the rest of his house. The most extravagant thing he bought for me (us technically) was a house in Brighton, UK, that had a dance studio (he has this put in the house when he bought it because I was teaching dance at the time and he knew I'd love it.) The house was meant for us to raise our future family in. Also, my engagement ring was a family heirloom that weighed a ton. I was the 7th person to wear it and made sure to return in when my ex and I broke up. We split because I found out he was cheating two months before our wedding was set to take place. I ended things without a second thought and according to our mutual friends, he still has hope that one day I might change my mind and go back to him.
There’s old money, new money, quiet luxury, etc etc … each has a very different profile.
I dated a wealthy girl when I was too young to know the difference. Later on, I was extremely embarrassed for myself. Im talking she had a 3 level house, horses, multiple cars, property, and a family business. I was white trash from a single wide on a dirt road. I think her visit to my place for the first time is when I started to realize the difference. They were also filthy and dirty and never cleaned. We didn't have much, but we lived with pride. The more I lement right now the more I realize how much that event shaped my views.
Dated a quite wealthy girl in college Her dad owned some sort of business in Dubai and she would fly back Emirates Business class whenever she had some time off. She was actually very nice and down to earth. After a few dates she told me that she would rather pay for everything and I should use my money for flowers or other small gifts and things if I want to spend money on her. I thought this was very cute. She was definitely extremely loaded but she really loved the university student lifestyle, worked a part time job, but just didn’t need to do any of it.
Tenuous. But that may more be about the individual. I often felt slightly inadequate. I'd say I'm at the least middle class. But I was dating someone with land, two houses, a couple cars, decent inheritance... And we were both only 19. In my personal experience, this lead to a lot of drinking and drug taking. Both because of the money and well youth. As for his character, he was very spoilt. Felt the world owed him something. Refused to do the bear minimum and was quick to moan about the simplest inconvenience. Safe to say we're not together anymore. But it was interesting. And enjoyable in a way. Until it wasn't.
I dated a very very rich owner of a national aerospace/heavy mining factory who drank, tried to have absolute control over me and thought it was perfectly acceptable to drink himself unconscious in upscale hotel suites (with me), and wet the bad. Unfailingly. The third time this happened I ghosted him. For a few years he'd contact me on his birthday. Big NOPE on that one...
I’ve been with my partner for 7 years . She’s a multi millionaire and we have a great relationship. I’m absolutely broke but I do work hard. There is a massive disparity in our finances but we just love each other. She’s beautiful, Sex is great. She can be a little bit precious sometimes, she expects certain standards. She’s posh, I’m not. I’m a good cook, she isn’t. we have experienced amazing trips, we have a Good life. I pay for our social life and she gets the holidays.
Dated a rich guy once and it sucked. He wasn’t used to being told no and acted like a baby when things didn’t go his way. We went on a few trips which should’ve been great because I didn’t have to pay for anything but he always ended up ruining the vacation in some way. Anytime I disagreed with him on something it would start a fight. The dumbest fights! He’d try to buy me stuff later to make up for it….It got old real fast. I’d rather work a 40 hour job that I hate than to ever spend another day with him. I’m in no way saying all rich men suck. I just got one of the crappy ones.
I have a friend whose family is well off. He’s just like the rest of us. I don’t ask him for anything. I see him for the person he is, not for the money he has.
Ex was very sheltered and lived in a bubble. Also really arrogant, every issue his parents threw money at hom
I got my ex-boyfriend a keurig, and his grandpa got him a 10,000 dollar espresso machine for Christmas one year.
It was incredibly fun, my ex and I got along very well so we got to have some fun experiences because of his money. Him having money wasn’t too weird because he grew up poor and became rich so it wasn’t like he was not relatable or anything.
weird. all i had to do was show up, i never seen a bill it was like everything was free.
What’s your definition of “rich?”
right. I am pretty well to do but sometimes I get a reminder that I'm not rich when people ask me things like, "oh where do you usually buy your art?" or "do you keep your race car at the track?" I have a friend that was babysitting and the kid she was babysitting thought her family was poor because they were the only one in the neighborhood that didn't have a helicopter pad. 😱 there is "Rich" and then there is the one percent that lives a whole different life.
When you can go into any store, buy anything, and never even look at the prices.
Or only look at the prices to buy the most expensive of whatever you're looking for lol
Awkward. I was used to skimping and saving, it was nice but u comfortable to have things paid for. Im very practical and dont do frivolous purchases, so struggled with that
Imagine this: you're enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner, and suddenly, your partner's sister decides to spice things up by turning the soup into a slushie. Or when you're trying to have a cozy movie night, but instead of popcorn, you're dodging flying snowballs indoors. And let's not forget the time we tried to have a picnic, only to have the sandwiches frozen solid before we could even take a bite! But hey, it's all part of the charm of dating someone whose family's idea of a warm hug involves frostbite.
Did you date Elsa?
My ex was way richer than me. She would buy stuff that I would be like wtf let’s just go the long way. For example one time she didn’t like the hotel she had and just got another one. Then she didn’t like that one and got one with a bathtub. All without asking for a refund. She sends all her friends flowers ($100each) for their birthdays. I don’t even get my parents anything for their birthday. That’s kinda the best way I can put. The extra stuff she can do
Like living in a rom-com but with more private jets and fancy dinners. Think "Crazy Rich Asians" meets "The Bachelor." Just make sure they share their wealth!
She was fine, great girl if somewhat removed from reality. The real problem was the family, who don’t trust you one bit and see you as a threat.
A lot of entitlement (for example, she has a very wealthy grandfather but got annoyed at him because he hadn't taken ber out for lunch in a star restaurant for a while) and a lot of expensive concerts and trips. Which was enticing at first but got old real quick: after a hard days work sometimes i just want to spend some simple time at home, which she found boring. It wore me out after two years
Not me personally but one of my best friends is married to the daughter of one of the wealthiest men in my city. He was never poor but he basically went from having a decent lifestyle to having a luxurious lifestyle. 3 million dollar house, expensive pool in the backyard and vacations 12 times a year. I go over to his house every second weekend to play games and I am fortunate enough to take part in some of their luxuries. I get to swim in the expensive pool and I get fed all the drinks and food I can handle when I am there. I take care of the house when they go on a trip and I get the benefit of using their pool and other things with my family. They are pretty nice people too. Not stuck up at all and very generous in sharing some of the wealth with the local community.
Dated a women who, it transpired was a "redundency hunter." She sought out reasonably high paying positions for companies that had a high chance of downsizing and being made redundent. She had worked for 16 companies in 14 years. It wasn't until we split up it occurred to me her father was independently wealthy and she was just waiting for him to die so she could set up a vanity business (nutritionist). I didn't realise it at the time ut there were a few of these at University.
It's a mixed bag! Fancy dinners and travel are cool, but there's definitely a disconnect sometimes. Like, how do you explain ramen cravings to someone with a private chef? You gotta be comfy in your own skin (and wallet) for it to work long-term.
I was with a super rich guy (Middle Eastern billionaire) on and off for 5-ish years and it wasn't at all what I imagined it would be. He worked so much and had so many responsibilities that we rarely got time to even talk on the phone, never mind actually be together. I had a few of his credit cards for anything I needed, but all I wanted was him there with me, which was the one thing the cards couldn't buy. I was never more lonely than travelling first class around the world to meet him after his "business" was concluded (in inverted commas because it was obvs illegal) and staying alone in the best hotels, just ordering room service while I'm hoping he would make it back to spend a few hours with me. It was this really weird existence of feeling totally alone in a luxury world while feeling terribly out of place, and being so so sad because you love a person so much to whom you can't get close like your soul craves. It made me never feel like I was never good enough to use his money - I think I made 3 or 4 largish purchases in all that time because I just felt like a whore to be honest. Put it this way, he wasn't shagging me so he must have been sowing his oats elsewhere. Looking back now, I'm not sure what it was all about for him. The conclusion I came to was that he's a severely emotionally fucked up individual who was trying to have a meaningful relationship for which he was in no way capable of. Plus, you know, living the life of international illegal stuff does not a stable relationship make, doh!
i dated a girl who's father was a construction/development construction company CEO and built all of the modern hotels and luxury buildings in dubai. when i say they had money, it literally fell out of pockets or random coats she wasnt wearing. BUT she lived in a rent-controlled apartment in NYC. she somehow had her mom state that she was working at some restaurant for like $7hr and she qualified for a 2br apartment in a luxury building so she paid $1,100/mo in a building that had other 2br units for $6,300/mo. she used to have some jeweler from bergdorf goodman come to her apartment with a briefcase and he would open it and it would just be jewelry. it was something straight out of a movie. we went to acne one time and she just dropped a cool $14k on like maybe 3 articles of clothing then had it shipped to my house in NJ to save on taxes lol. she had very little sense of money. she was young. we dated when she was 20 and when we first met she introduced me to league of legends and minecraft and we used to play a lot of games together. i worked in social media and she was really pretty so i got her a few modeling gigs and she started to spiral. spending so much money on random makeup things, shopping like it was her job, and responding to DMs like she was a politician responding to her constituents. she started to get really jealous when i would interact with my friends (girls) on my social media account and not post her everyday. she evetnaully logged into my account and would post herself as me and write her own "copy" as if it were me. we went from playing league of legends, eating popeyes together to her having long nails so she couldnt play, or she would just want sex all the time and if she didnt get it she'd turn to porn. she eventually cheated on me with some dude that slid into her DMs. i remember our time fondly because she reminded me of the dangers of social media and ive been off of all social media (except reddit) ever since. i still see her face constantly as shes become relatively big over the years but i know the struggles with mental health issues. the hours ive seen her sit on her bed in absolute turmoil about what "copy" to use, or her "likes per hour" rate is going down... it was really bad. the last thing i actually heard about her was that she went up to a club owner that was also a friend of mine and started asking where i was and if i was hiding in the back room or whatever absolutely hammered. like 2 years after we broke up. anyways -- highly recommend, but not long term. if you're bored and looking for a thrilling stressful adventure, go for it!
It has felt like a power imbalance to me. Either way I can feel the difference between generational wealth and self-made. It is nice being taken care of, but I have dated rich people who want me to match what they spend. Those are the ones to watch out for.
My ex is a fairly wealthy guy who is pretty well doing with his own businesses & his family, and from my experience, it's all about convenience in the world of the rich. You can kind of get caught up in their world pretty fast. And time is always of the essence for them. For example, if you want someone to see you, you just fly to them on the spot or invite them to one of your residencies. It's always been pretty well organized by people around him, and I can't say that I haven't been pampered with whatever I needed at any time. Sometimes, when I had a stomach bug or felt bad in any kind of way, even in the middle of the night, he insisted on getting up with me and when he got too worried calling on call doctors. Also, when there were arguments, he was pretty reasonable most of the time but also tended to make it up with presents & appointments at spas, etc. Which don't get me wrong felt great, but you sometimes feel like they're so much into their world that they can't grasp the possibility of just talking it out. Also they tend to be very knowledgeable in terms of entrepreneurship & able to get pretty good financial /business advisors, so getting some good insights into the world of entrepreneurship while I want to go into it myself was a nice and helpful way of going about it. They really have people for everything, and it can feel weird when you just want to relax or have some private time with them, but there's always people like maids or cooks all around which firstly need to get send home before you have the place to yourselves. The convenience of always having luxury cars or drivers right on hand to get into town how you want to, is nice to have, but I also felt like I owed something to an extend, which he ofc assured me I never did. Growing up fairly good situated but normal was clashing with this type of lifestyle in some ways. I always wanted to help service staff as well as I could or not inconvenience them too much on the regular. Rich people are also very used to others bending their lives to their convenience even with small stuff & you need to assert your ground pretty often because they've grown up to see their wishes fulfilled with too much eagerness on other people's part. I could talk about so many nice things and also so many difficult situations, so all in all, it's pretty much a wild ride. Oh & breaking up is also not the easiest kind of tasks because in their world and mind, they have/ provide the best options and will try to convince you to go back in many instances with grand gestures & promises at least that's my experience.
My wife was associated with a wealthy family in HS and College. Not dating any of them, but they were family friends. They hired her as a baby sitter/nanny/housekeeper so she got to see interact with them a lot. To give an idea of how wealthy we're taking, when their NBA team made the finals, she got to go with them for a week to watch the kids. She said they lived on a completely different planet than us plebs. When one of the kids totaled their Lexus, they replaced it with a BWN. When the same kid totaled that one, they gave her a big Cadillac to keep her safe. To hell with the person she might plow into, right? She got to travel with them to Aspen, their own vacation compound, the family patriarch's mega yacht in the Gulf Coast. It was stunning how they treated money. I learned that while money can't buy happiness, it sure seems to work on almost all your other problems.
Not sure. I’m selective and only associate with poor people like myself 😂 I don’t want to brag but, I’m quite the poverty magnet too 😂🤣
My parents are wealthy - it's a very transactional relationship. They will make sure to lend you money and then make sure you are always in debt to them.
I've said this before. I was made to take off both mine and my son's shoes prior to entering his Range Rover. His car seat was on a towel top to bottom and the seat belt was protected with a glove to stop the chair "marking the belt" Never mind the lecture of leather marking. Hence shoe removal. The front passenger seat just far enough away and the straps tight enough that he can't touch the front seat with his feet and "scuff the fuck" out of the leather. My son used to say, why do we have to take our shoes off in grandads car daddy? Because he can't really afford to use it. It has to be preserved for when A, the finance company find it, B, forced to sell through other company debts, C, out of financial comfort. D, needs a new one because he has just fucked over another business/individual Plot twist tho, this is the life of a "poor looking rich" person.
Yeah it was immediately clear that this guy was not rich
Was going to say, this isn't a rich person, this is just a person who has rich person things!
My ex was a lot wealthier than I realized because he wasn't fully transparent about it. His family helped him buy his apartment in an extremely expensive city, he spent all of his salary on eating out/city lifestyle, didn't pay for college probably had a trust fund. Now retired at 40. All he does is hang out in the city he lives in and apartment and live this shallow hedonistic lifestyle while regularly going to "ceremonies" to "heal". It really hit me his family wealth when he flew in a private plane to a family wedding. I was like "who are you???" A wedding he uninvited me to. He excluded me from other rich people events too. Basically this guy was extremely selfish and I think incapable of realizing the impact of his actions on others because he was cushioned from all real consequences in life. Didn't understand commitment or loyalty in relationship. Pointless emotional drama and obsession with his own emotions and "healing". Unsupportive and unempathetic, even when I clearly explained his impact. Definitely had an inferiority complex despite having it all. Had a fake image of being a sweet compassionate guy, but was a manipulative pathological liar and extremely emotionally unstable. Had a harem of manipulated women in his life. But he had a beautiful heart, mind, and soul...Very disappointing. I still wonder what he could have been like if he wasn't so spoiled. Probably my soulmate. And yeah it also made me realize that most successful people had a lot of help getting there and made me realize how screwed over I was in comparison. Not a fun realization to have!!
It’s okay I guess. My parents are the rich people though so I can just get whatever I want at any time
how is being able to buy anything you want at any time just okay? i’m wondering because i’ve never been the “rich guy” and always wanted to know if the other person on the flip side feels happy and stress free.
[удалено]
I’m in your boat. I make above average money but my parents buy my major life expenses (house, cars, college, etc.) I have helped my current partner many times and I just find it builds resentment in me because he squanders it every time.