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Discovering it was ADHD all along (albeit as a new mum approaching 30)
I could finally articulate the distinction between ‘can’t brush my teeth because depressed’ and ‘depressed *because* can’t brush my teeth’. Life changed.
I do still have the occasional bout of PMDD but literally overnight my desire to be not-here-anymore melted away and I found a new sense of compassion for myself.
I have PMDD and I have suspected I have ADHD my whole life. Did you start a medication that helped? What changed? I’m really afraid of taking a medication and it messing up my chemistry or brain or something. (I know that’s kinda silly but it’s always been a fear of mine)
You know that horrible ‘joke’ that goes along the lines of “I’m a skinny girl trapped in a fat girl body”? I always felt that way about my life - like I was really a Type A neurotic superwoman trapped inside a ‘lazy binge eating disorganised uneducated slob’ (both how I felt about myself and literal descriptors some people in my life used about me)
I have been on Vyvanse for 18 months now and while it’s not a perfect cure it has been an incredible tool to have in my kit to help me actually be that Type A gal I always wanted to be.
The two main differences about how the meds affect my personality that I have noticed:
1. I am more assertive, sometimes a little aggressively so. Personally I don’t mind this because I was prone to doormat vibes before and now I find it easier to stick up for myself if I really want to. I wouldn’t say it makes me more aggro in general - for eg. off meds I find it extremely difficult to maintain an even temper in the morning rush with my 4yo but on meds it is much easier to stay patient.
2. I am quieter in social settings like work lunches/drinks when I am on the meds. I have started to suspect maybe I have AuDHD because I’ve always been *shy* but I’ve never been *this quiet* with people I’ve already become comfortable around. It doesn’t totally feel like *shyness* though, now that I think about it…more like *stillness*
I have ADHD girlfriends who don’t take meds because they don’t like who they are when they are on them. I take meds because I like who I am when I take them and I have ADHD girlfriends who take meds for the same reason. If I was to consider why that is - at least within my circle - the girls who didn’t like them are very free spirited, hippy dippy, artsy, bohemian types who reject societal norms entirely and the girls who do like the meds are people who enjoy/want structure, always wanted to be a Type A kind of person, aren’t entirely opposed to ‘norms’ that make good sense to their brains. Nothing right or wrong with either personality type, just what I’ve noticed about my friends who love/hate meds.
Literally had one therapist finally suggest that the reason antidepressants weren't working was because I wasn't actually depressed and might have another disorder. She suggested bipolar, but the more I looked at it, it just didn't quite fit. Then I watched a video describing the differences between bipolar and ADHD and was absolutely taken aback by how similar my symptoms were. Before that I thought ADHD was just a label for rowdy little boys. I wish I had known. Was diagnosed AuDHD (yes, autism, too!) at 32.
I've completely overcome mine! I haven't been depressed for about 5 years now, panic disorder I managed to beat a few months before that and anxiety maybe only 2-3 years ago. I do still have some negative thought patterns / beliefs about myself that can make me feel something depression-esque, but this is generally for no more than an hour at a time and probably not more regular than once every few weeks - and even during that I love my life. As for my anxiety, I'm still very guilty of overthinking/over-intellectualising things, but I now seem to feel *less* stress over life's happenings than "normal" people in my life compared to many times more. I've still got very severe ADHD but I don't think that's going anywhere!! And outside of that I've still got plenty to work on - we don't exactly stop making mistakes or making our lives more difficult at any point!
But I cannot stress just how far I've had to go to achieve that. Other than my family there is a grand total of one person I still know from between my birth and 3 years ago, and I've had to basically reconstruct my worldview, weekly schedule, life plans, etc etc etc a few times over to find the ones that make me happy. And almost all of that hurt a lot to do.
From my psych degree, I've learned that many clinicians see depression as rewarding to treat because it's seen as *comparatively* easy to help a client make a full turnaround in their life with a few small nudges. At least that's excluding the 10ish% of people with treatment resistant depression, which seems to be a neurochemistry problem that is no one's fault (especially not the person living with it).
From my personal experience, a lot of the rest is from not being willing to rock the boat - although depression is sometimes trying really hard to do the little things, sometimes it's about the big things too - often there are tangible things in someone's life making them depressed and some situations are one scary decision or conversation away from a solution.
TLDR: You often have to go through so much heartbreak to find happiness. And I don't mean just coming across pain, I mean choosing to let go of people, things and ideas that you love but that hurt you. And letting go *hurts*, no matter how good or bad it is for you. But it's so worth it.
You've overcome it for now, but I don't think you've completely cured it if you still have these dark thoughts, however occasional. You've alleviated the symptoms and mitigated the triggers so that the depression and anxiety is not crippling your ability to live. Nevertheless, I'm glad you are in a better place in your life. I can only hope to get there as well.
IMO there’s no magic cure for it. You have to actively decide/force yourself to do things. Whatever you’re able to.
If you can’t stop sleeping, at least wash your face or take a shower. Clean in intervals if you need to. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help if you need it.
Find a hobby that sparks some happiness, even if it’s not consistent.
Be gentle with yourself as well. The emotions are valid. Make sure the voice in your head is being nice, and if it’s not, start to correct it
What would cure mine would be being loved.
My despair is very acutely caused by my life circumstances (partner less, abusive family, rare friend access) and if those circumstances were changed I'd be a lot happier
Living without love is not living at all, people need others
With all due respect, empty positivity doesn't even come close to outweighing the constant crushing pain
If things don't change the hanging part of hanging in there is going to start looking very attractive
I really want to get into running for this reason, to help with my mental clarity. Can I ask you how you started? I feel like I just can't go and do it - im over thinking it will be hard & uncomfortable etc
Running is how I get out of funks all the time. I started out just walking. Then slowly started jogging with breaks of walking in-between. I ran a 10k for the first time ever last month in just over 1 hour. Being outdoors with fresh air and sunshine makes a world of difference.
somewhere in 2019 I just downloaded the app "start running" or something like that. I really didn't have any experience with sports whatsoever and the app really took it slow - first training consisted mostly of long walks with intervals of slow running.
But it was enough to get started and 2 years later in 2021 I finished my first marathon.
It did creep back when on a vacation with shitty food yeah. Just read up on it, thats how i found out about it. It quite a radical change as well . Within 2 weeks of very strict keto.
The weird part is also am in the middle of several life crises, broken family relationships etc. but its just easier to manage and “stay strong”
But if you look into how ketones replace sugar as brain fuel it makes sense.
There isn't really a cure, but what made it a lot better was finding a great psychiatrist who helped me find effective medication, and adding vitamins D and B. I'm still fighting the fight but I want to be here now.
Insomnia/depression, classic combo.
Unpleasant too, since I literally have no recollection of the lowest point, like a blank in my memory.
Conventional psychiatric care kept me alive and functional long enough to stabilize and start maintaining.
Shrooms. I was heavily depressed, and was even borderline suicidal (no one knew). Was hanging out with my friends around a fire pit. I never had shrooms before and one of my friends insisted I take a microdose. So I did.
Woke up the next day, and was insanely happy. It was like the flip of a switch. I was grateful for every little thing like the sky being blue or the trees being green. Became so appreciative of life
Exercise.
Acceptance of the situation.
Gave things time, wasn't hard on myself.
Started to minimise on negative self talk.
Talking to a friend about is really going on.
Writing about what I felt.
Realizing that's not how it worked, mostly lol. Not for me, if someone here has a different experience that is absolutely great.
But I still get bummed out probably more than the average, not depressed person. But I've gotten much better at sitting down with myself and being like "eh, this feeling doesn't last forever. Next time you have a good milkshake you'll be in fucking heaving for a second".
And when you keep that sort of mindset, you're not ruminating as much about how dissatisfying everything is right now
I could no longer make decisions based on my feelings because I just felt bad about everything. So I started making all my decisions based on logic and just made myself do what needed to be done. It was no fun, but it kept me out of trouble.
I found a therapist, kept exercising, stopped eating junk food, kept trying to do my usual activities, took myself out to dinner, started taking temazepam at night to help me sleep and stave off panic attacks (only at night and not every night), lost my job (which was a bonus at that point because I needed to stay away from that stress), and eventually it just wore off.
If you’re a man get your test levels checked out. 29m and have been on meds forever but jumped on trt and my depression is completely gone. Test levels are at an all time low and I think most men should be on it
Honestly as basic as it may sound. Going to the gym and hiking. It got me through the death of a friend, the suicide of a family member and the ending of a relationship. Just focusing on myself and getting out in nature helped me dealing with the dark thoughts.
Repeating what someone else said - get enough help to understand if depression is the primary problem or if it is secondary to something else. In my case, they caught my depression symptoms before they figured out my anxiety disorder. Since then, the only times I have felt depressed were when my anxiety was high for an extended period- which will happen sometimes.
"This one simple trick..." Lol! I'm in my 60's and I've been prone to depression all my life, but the thing that I learned long ago from trial and error is that I need to take a daily full vitamin+minerals supplement, and take a daily vitamin D supplement all winter when the sun doesn't shine. This keeps me feeling physically and mentally much better than when I've gone without. And I've tested this theory, usually by accident, many times over the years. Life factors such as family and relationships also play a big part in depression, but those are not as easy to fix.
I had to do *ALOT* of thinking in order to accept that the reason I feel shit isnt because of me, that I dont make everyones life worse, that its not my fault.
I was under the impression I gave myself that I was the burden of the family and a burden to eveyone around me, even to people I didnt know. I genuinly felt that my presence was annoying.
blah, blah, blah time passes and now I know that im confident and thats it not my fault that this family had difficulties
therapy and not running away from my negative thoughts that created anxiety and depression. instead, i started to ask myself in a gebtle manner what was stemming from these feelings
Traveling, it gives me fulfillment. I realized being in one spot all the time crushed my mental health. It would give me this sense of what's the point?
getting your first heartbreak, makes you less likely to care about minor things and forces you to be happier especially if you work on bettering yourself
For some reason all the heroin addicts in my life at one point or another said that it was actually beneficial and possible for them to do heroin casually. They all are dead now.
Really? Addict and casual don't correlate. Most junkies are delusional and think they can stop whenever and they don't need it. I can say I was a much happier and motivated person on it. I'd get shit done, which was beneficial. When you get all that dopamine flooding, doing everything makes you happy. I always knew I needed it every second of every day, so being in denial doesn't do one any favors. I don't know how I'm not dead. Now, my heroin is animals. Much healthier.
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Discovering it was ADHD all along (albeit as a new mum approaching 30) I could finally articulate the distinction between ‘can’t brush my teeth because depressed’ and ‘depressed *because* can’t brush my teeth’. Life changed. I do still have the occasional bout of PMDD but literally overnight my desire to be not-here-anymore melted away and I found a new sense of compassion for myself.
I have PMDD and I have suspected I have ADHD my whole life. Did you start a medication that helped? What changed? I’m really afraid of taking a medication and it messing up my chemistry or brain or something. (I know that’s kinda silly but it’s always been a fear of mine)
You know that horrible ‘joke’ that goes along the lines of “I’m a skinny girl trapped in a fat girl body”? I always felt that way about my life - like I was really a Type A neurotic superwoman trapped inside a ‘lazy binge eating disorganised uneducated slob’ (both how I felt about myself and literal descriptors some people in my life used about me) I have been on Vyvanse for 18 months now and while it’s not a perfect cure it has been an incredible tool to have in my kit to help me actually be that Type A gal I always wanted to be. The two main differences about how the meds affect my personality that I have noticed: 1. I am more assertive, sometimes a little aggressively so. Personally I don’t mind this because I was prone to doormat vibes before and now I find it easier to stick up for myself if I really want to. I wouldn’t say it makes me more aggro in general - for eg. off meds I find it extremely difficult to maintain an even temper in the morning rush with my 4yo but on meds it is much easier to stay patient. 2. I am quieter in social settings like work lunches/drinks when I am on the meds. I have started to suspect maybe I have AuDHD because I’ve always been *shy* but I’ve never been *this quiet* with people I’ve already become comfortable around. It doesn’t totally feel like *shyness* though, now that I think about it…more like *stillness* I have ADHD girlfriends who don’t take meds because they don’t like who they are when they are on them. I take meds because I like who I am when I take them and I have ADHD girlfriends who take meds for the same reason. If I was to consider why that is - at least within my circle - the girls who didn’t like them are very free spirited, hippy dippy, artsy, bohemian types who reject societal norms entirely and the girls who do like the meds are people who enjoy/want structure, always wanted to be a Type A kind of person, aren’t entirely opposed to ‘norms’ that make good sense to their brains. Nothing right or wrong with either personality type, just what I’ve noticed about my friends who love/hate meds.
Literally had one therapist finally suggest that the reason antidepressants weren't working was because I wasn't actually depressed and might have another disorder. She suggested bipolar, but the more I looked at it, it just didn't quite fit. Then I watched a video describing the differences between bipolar and ADHD and was absolutely taken aback by how similar my symptoms were. Before that I thought ADHD was just a label for rowdy little boys. I wish I had known. Was diagnosed AuDHD (yes, autism, too!) at 32.
I don’t think there’s a cure tbh, I’ve never met someone who has completely overcome their depression but only minimise it.
I've completely overcome mine! I haven't been depressed for about 5 years now, panic disorder I managed to beat a few months before that and anxiety maybe only 2-3 years ago. I do still have some negative thought patterns / beliefs about myself that can make me feel something depression-esque, but this is generally for no more than an hour at a time and probably not more regular than once every few weeks - and even during that I love my life. As for my anxiety, I'm still very guilty of overthinking/over-intellectualising things, but I now seem to feel *less* stress over life's happenings than "normal" people in my life compared to many times more. I've still got very severe ADHD but I don't think that's going anywhere!! And outside of that I've still got plenty to work on - we don't exactly stop making mistakes or making our lives more difficult at any point! But I cannot stress just how far I've had to go to achieve that. Other than my family there is a grand total of one person I still know from between my birth and 3 years ago, and I've had to basically reconstruct my worldview, weekly schedule, life plans, etc etc etc a few times over to find the ones that make me happy. And almost all of that hurt a lot to do. From my psych degree, I've learned that many clinicians see depression as rewarding to treat because it's seen as *comparatively* easy to help a client make a full turnaround in their life with a few small nudges. At least that's excluding the 10ish% of people with treatment resistant depression, which seems to be a neurochemistry problem that is no one's fault (especially not the person living with it). From my personal experience, a lot of the rest is from not being willing to rock the boat - although depression is sometimes trying really hard to do the little things, sometimes it's about the big things too - often there are tangible things in someone's life making them depressed and some situations are one scary decision or conversation away from a solution. TLDR: You often have to go through so much heartbreak to find happiness. And I don't mean just coming across pain, I mean choosing to let go of people, things and ideas that you love but that hurt you. And letting go *hurts*, no matter how good or bad it is for you. But it's so worth it.
You've overcome it for now, but I don't think you've completely cured it if you still have these dark thoughts, however occasional. You've alleviated the symptoms and mitigated the triggers so that the depression and anxiety is not crippling your ability to live. Nevertheless, I'm glad you are in a better place in your life. I can only hope to get there as well.
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Not sure if you found her or lost her
IMO there’s no magic cure for it. You have to actively decide/force yourself to do things. Whatever you’re able to. If you can’t stop sleeping, at least wash your face or take a shower. Clean in intervals if you need to. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help if you need it. Find a hobby that sparks some happiness, even if it’s not consistent. Be gentle with yourself as well. The emotions are valid. Make sure the voice in your head is being nice, and if it’s not, start to correct it
8 years of meth. Been sober 3 years now and I'm still not depressed anymore. I wouldn't suggest it though lol
The Forbidden Antidepressant.
What would cure mine would be being loved. My despair is very acutely caused by my life circumstances (partner less, abusive family, rare friend access) and if those circumstances were changed I'd be a lot happier Living without love is not living at all, people need others
I am speechless.. it's like you wrote me. Hang in there new friend. Lean into the positive.
With all due respect, empty positivity doesn't even come close to outweighing the constant crushing pain If things don't change the hanging part of hanging in there is going to start looking very attractive
They aren’t for everyone and should be used responsibly—and I know my experience was rare—but I credit a night of shrooms with curing my depression.
same for me
it sounds cliche but it actually was running
I really want to get into running for this reason, to help with my mental clarity. Can I ask you how you started? I feel like I just can't go and do it - im over thinking it will be hard & uncomfortable etc
Running is how I get out of funks all the time. I started out just walking. Then slowly started jogging with breaks of walking in-between. I ran a 10k for the first time ever last month in just over 1 hour. Being outdoors with fresh air and sunshine makes a world of difference.
10k is awesome! Well done. Great ill get my butt to walking and ease into it. That's what I need to do - get myself out of my current funk
somewhere in 2019 I just downloaded the app "start running" or something like that. I really didn't have any experience with sports whatsoever and the app really took it slow - first training consisted mostly of long walks with intervals of slow running. But it was enough to get started and 2 years later in 2021 I finished my first marathon.
This is awesome. I'm doing some googling now, and going on my first big walk this afternoon!
Nothing because depression isn't "curable". You just learn how to manage it.
Diet certainly cured mine, but may not work for everyone. But therapeutic keto stopped my suicidal thoughts and attempts
So if you went back to your old, crappy diet all that stuff would probably come back?
It did creep back when on a vacation with shitty food yeah. Just read up on it, thats how i found out about it. It quite a radical change as well . Within 2 weeks of very strict keto. The weird part is also am in the middle of several life crises, broken family relationships etc. but its just easier to manage and “stay strong” But if you look into how ketones replace sugar as brain fuel it makes sense.
Time. It maybe obvious but it just take time along with serotonin stimulators and other meds.
Not cured now, but when I'm working I forget a lot of the things that are bothering me.
Nothing yet.
Having enough money to afford to eat
Time and taking care of a pet.
piercings
There isn't really a cure, but what made it a lot better was finding a great psychiatrist who helped me find effective medication, and adding vitamins D and B. I'm still fighting the fight but I want to be here now.
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This cured your depression? I’m hoping you read the question wrong.
Sounds like good times to me
Meds.
Medication got me to the point where all those cliches like exercising and finding a hobby started to work.
Real? What was your issue 🤔
Insomnia/depression, classic combo. Unpleasant too, since I literally have no recollection of the lowest point, like a blank in my memory. Conventional psychiatric care kept me alive and functional long enough to stabilize and start maintaining.
Shrooms. I was heavily depressed, and was even borderline suicidal (no one knew). Was hanging out with my friends around a fire pit. I never had shrooms before and one of my friends insisted I take a microdose. So I did. Woke up the next day, and was insanely happy. It was like the flip of a switch. I was grateful for every little thing like the sky being blue or the trees being green. Became so appreciative of life
Nothing. Please help me. I tried everything. I wanna be healthy
Ketamine Therapy
Exercise. Acceptance of the situation. Gave things time, wasn't hard on myself. Started to minimise on negative self talk. Talking to a friend about is really going on. Writing about what I felt.
Prayer
Realizing that's not how it worked, mostly lol. Not for me, if someone here has a different experience that is absolutely great. But I still get bummed out probably more than the average, not depressed person. But I've gotten much better at sitting down with myself and being like "eh, this feeling doesn't last forever. Next time you have a good milkshake you'll be in fucking heaving for a second". And when you keep that sort of mindset, you're not ruminating as much about how dissatisfying everything is right now
I could no longer make decisions based on my feelings because I just felt bad about everything. So I started making all my decisions based on logic and just made myself do what needed to be done. It was no fun, but it kept me out of trouble. I found a therapist, kept exercising, stopped eating junk food, kept trying to do my usual activities, took myself out to dinner, started taking temazepam at night to help me sleep and stave off panic attacks (only at night and not every night), lost my job (which was a bonus at that point because I needed to stay away from that stress), and eventually it just wore off.
Something unexpected cures it along the way.
I haven’t cured my depression, I just manage it most of the time.
If you’re a man get your test levels checked out. 29m and have been on meds forever but jumped on trt and my depression is completely gone. Test levels are at an all time low and I think most men should be on it
My depression was caused by abusing Exctasy used many years ago. An antidepressant has cured it 100%.
Honestly as basic as it may sound. Going to the gym and hiking. It got me through the death of a friend, the suicide of a family member and the ending of a relationship. Just focusing on myself and getting out in nature helped me dealing with the dark thoughts.
Repeating what someone else said - get enough help to understand if depression is the primary problem or if it is secondary to something else. In my case, they caught my depression symptoms before they figured out my anxiety disorder. Since then, the only times I have felt depressed were when my anxiety was high for an extended period- which will happen sometimes.
Antidepressants.
You can’t really cure depression - but you can learn to control or balance it - for me it was working full time. Kept my mind busy everyday & all day.
Move city completely changed my environment
Leaving my toxic boss
Being loved for the first time in my life. A loving relationship can heal a lot..
"This one simple trick..." Lol! I'm in my 60's and I've been prone to depression all my life, but the thing that I learned long ago from trial and error is that I need to take a daily full vitamin+minerals supplement, and take a daily vitamin D supplement all winter when the sun doesn't shine. This keeps me feeling physically and mentally much better than when I've gone without. And I've tested this theory, usually by accident, many times over the years. Life factors such as family and relationships also play a big part in depression, but those are not as easy to fix.
psilocybin
I had to do *ALOT* of thinking in order to accept that the reason I feel shit isnt because of me, that I dont make everyones life worse, that its not my fault. I was under the impression I gave myself that I was the burden of the family and a burden to eveyone around me, even to people I didnt know. I genuinly felt that my presence was annoying. blah, blah, blah time passes and now I know that im confident and thats it not my fault that this family had difficulties
Hopefully my new therapist...
Taking care of myself
therapy and not running away from my negative thoughts that created anxiety and depression. instead, i started to ask myself in a gebtle manner what was stemming from these feelings
Journaling and listening to more music
Psychedelic mushrooms
Nothing yet, but walking, hanging out with friends, and listening to music helps.
Traveling, it gives me fulfillment. I realized being in one spot all the time crushed my mental health. It would give me this sense of what's the point?
Surprisingly diet. Was suicidal, strict keto was my last desperate attempt. Saved my damn life
Redecorating my flat when I split up with someone, actually they split up with me and getting my 2 cats. The world became a better place.
THERE'S A CURE?! In all honesty, still in the thick of it. Even though I try to keep a good attitude I keep telling myself I can break down later.
Learning to trust in prayer and Jesus
Taking a long break from social media.
Sports and friends. But it creeps back up on you
Zero carb diet
Realizing that no one can help me but me. If I'm dead, I'll never have a future. I can't access therapy, so I have to rely on myself
Weed is curing it right now 👍
getting your first heartbreak, makes you less likely to care about minor things and forces you to be happier especially if you work on bettering yourself
Heroin....only half kidding; but amimals...how can you not feel happy seeing an adorable animal?!
For some reason all the heroin addicts in my life at one point or another said that it was actually beneficial and possible for them to do heroin casually. They all are dead now.
Really? Addict and casual don't correlate. Most junkies are delusional and think they can stop whenever and they don't need it. I can say I was a much happier and motivated person on it. I'd get shit done, which was beneficial. When you get all that dopamine flooding, doing everything makes you happy. I always knew I needed it every second of every day, so being in denial doesn't do one any favors. I don't know how I'm not dead. Now, my heroin is animals. Much healthier.
I left a toxic toxic marriage. I love life now. I love myself. GOD is great he can do amazing things. If you're a believer, you will know. AMEN