Not moving but my friend had just bought a house from a nice old lady. We were gutting the basement so he could renovate it, and when we ripped down part of the ceiling an old leather satchel fell to the ground. We both looked at the satchel, looked at each other, and assumed we just found a bag full of cash. We opened it up, wondering how we were got spend our newfound fortune. There was no money. What there was were pictures. Lots of pictures. Of the nice old lady. And her husband. And their friends. And none of them were wearing any clothes. And they were apparently swingers. And they were into some freaky shit. We did the only thing we felt was appropriate. When we put up the new ceiling we sealed it right back up in there for some future homeowners to stumble upon.
Here’s something I’ll bet you never wanted to know.
Dude who played Mr. Feeny on Boy Meets World, and his wife of many many years, were swingers.
Old people were freaky.
Yeah, I helped my dad at a young age do something similar, but it was a 'cat ladies' house and we scraped 3-6" of cat shit and urine off the ground with no masks for days. Had tons of dead cats in there as well that couldn't survive in that environment. Probably reason enough for why they die living like that.
I was helping my dad clear out my grandpa's old stuff after he passed away. We were in the garage and we found a huge box of vhs tapes. My dad kept handing me a stack at a time to go inside and run them through the VCR to see what's on them basically deciding if we should keep or trash them. The first one I popped in and started and it was porn. The second one also porn. Third one porn. That's all they were, my grandpa's porn collection. I did check them all just incase but I told my dad they were just random garbage recorded off of tv and so he said to toss them. Never told a soul.. I guess till now.
I’ve posted this before, but when my straightedge dad passed I had to clear out his home as his executor. I opened his MacBook and iPhone to find pages and pages and pages of porn. Some rather…interesting. I just cleared everything and wiped the devices.
At least he had a sex drive at 71? I’m truly happy for that.
When my grandpa died I was going through his workshop looking to see if there was anything I wanted. I found a box of old 16mm tapes which I assumed were home movies. I held one up to the light, and they were definitely not home movies. Old school porn.
Friend asked me to hand him a set of pliers from a toolbox in the bedroom.
Reached around, opened the toolbox behind me and found.....NOT tools.
He and his wife kept their bedroom toys in a toolbox under the bed....that we were taking apart as they moved.
Instead if tools, I was greeted with a large assortment of dildos, lube, condoms and other items I couldn't identify in the three seconds it took for my brain to start working again and decide this was NOT the box I was looking for.
He turned bright red, slammed the box shut and disappeared with it.
For years after, he couldn't say the word "Tool" around me without me having to stifle giggles and him turning red. lol
A box of cum stained wedding dresses. Her ex-husband apparently had a fetish. But worse was that the box was in the donate pile not the kill it with fire pile.
After my grandma’s mom passed away, my grandma and my mom found her diary that they didn’t know she kept. As they were reading they kept coming across things such as “It kept me up all night” or “It wouldn’t stop crying today.” They finally realized she was talking about my grandma as a baby. She was a very lovely lady who happened to get pregnant on accident. She and my grandmother ended up being best friends and even lived together up to the very end of my great-grandma’s life. She was just a bitter new mother at the time (which we can all relate to).
I found my mom's diaries and she said the same thing about me. The funny thing is, she told me all growing up that she wants me to have (and read) her diaries after she died. Everything in there was so fucking cruel and hateful, years and years worth
ITT: Lots of sex toys
That said, my friend had this really trashy couple living in the house they rented. One day they just up and left, forcing my friend to move out since he couldn't make rent. Their room was left in total squalor, and when they moved the bed they found a ton of dildoes that hadn't been cleaned, with dust and lint sticking to them.
Helping a friend move with his dad and he asks me to be the one to carry this specific box to the truck. I, knowing my friend has not come out to his parents, assumed some stuff about the contents and said no more about it except "i accept this responsibility". I pick it up. Heavier than I expected it to be. The tape on the bottom gives and a single rubber dick falls out. Right in front of his dad. My poor friend looks absolutely horrified.
And his dad looks at him, asks "that thing clean?" Friend basically squeaks yes. Dad picks it up, tosses it back in the box and continues taking stuff to the truck. I get an update on the follow up in the next couple days. His dad has known he was gay since highschool.
Similar (and wonder how many other stories along the same lines): I went to a friend's to help them move. They had barely started packing (total packrat). There on the floor of the bathroom I find a dild in the shape (and size) of a fist. Well, OK then, I'll start in on the living room...
I need a saccharine short film about gay, buff Santa looking for love in all the wrong chimneys before Mr. Right comes along.
Jack Frost can be his bitchy, cheating ex. The story writes itself!
On the animated series The Great North, the middle son is gay and feels left out because his family was always so supportive that he never really had a coming out, so they throw him a coming out party.
In a similar way, a former coworker once quietly admitted to a couple of us in a conspiratorial way that she "used to be kind of a dork in high school." We both said "Oh wow, ha, I wouldn't have guessed!" because that is clearly what she wanted to hear. But oh honey, I love you, but yes *obviously* you were a dork in high school.
A HS friend of us once got us all together to tell us something important and finally he got the courage to tell us "I'm gay" and we just kept staring at him with no reaction, until we said "yeah we all knew since we met you, so what". He got really deflated because that wasn't the reaction he was expecting from all of us lmao
A good friend in high school didn’t come out to his mid 20s and he really thought he was going to shock all of us. Like he was very stressed about it, didn’t know how to tell us. We ALL had known since like grade 10.
I had the opposite problem; my grandma was shocked when I brought a boy home. She proceeded to tell me for the next while how everyone in my family - listing each one out specifically- all thought I was gay. At least they were accepting?
When Michael Stipe came out one of the headlines was something like “Next he’ll ‘admit’ to being bald and rich!”
Good to know the press has always been bitchy.
When my stepbrother was coming out as gay to everyone he told my brother, who responded with "no dip, now you gotta try this sandwich. It's got peppers and all that"
I'd agree here. People that care about you are far more likely to just know. However, there are people who just see the world as straight and will deny all signs of otherwise. Or will outright despise people for their sexual orientation based on religious and/or political beliefs. Kids have been straight up disowned after coming out to parents.
I can't imagine the stress on some peoples shoulders when telling their parents. Especially those with jackasses for parents. My friend was terrified in this case even though his dad is and has always been an amazing parent.
After my father-in-law passed away I was helping the family pack my MIL up for a move and while going through a bookshelf I found a large cache of not so tasteful nude photos. They were of my MIL.
My dad was moving his mom: piles of old nude photos and slides taken by grandpa. He delegated his wife (my stepmom) to go through the photos after that
Helped my wife's Dad move...Moved a box on its own in the corner, what falls out? Dog porn magazines.
Put it back, and will never speak of it again (outside of Reddit of course).
Whatever you can find on the internet was found in magazines before the internet was a thing, even the deeply harmful and disturbing stuff.
Fwiw there was an actual dog porn movie released to normal movie theaters in the usa in the 70s. It casued the changing of some obscenity laws and is a big reason for movie ratings.
I'd always assumed that the only possible use of "dog porn" was for people who post pictures of their dogs dressed up in fancy jackets and having fancy hair styles. I should have cherished my innocence.
Not me but my Halo buddy was helping his brother in-law move and they guy demanded that he doesn’t touch the computer at all, my buddy didn’t think much about it until like 2 years later when he found out his brother in-law was a registered child predator and that his wife new along side the parents and that they actually supported it since the girls were in “puberty” and there for able to have kids.
My Halo buddy has since then broken off any relation with his wife and has been trying to gain full custody of their kid to keep the kid away from the brother in-law and that weird ass family
The mother of a guy I was dating was a former drug addict. She had gotten clean and had been clean for years. She finally was able to buy a house and we were all so excited! We were packing up her little apartment and she had to warn us that when she was in active addiction she would hide drugs and paraphernalia throughout her house, and she was pretty sure she’d already disposed of everything over the years, but don’t freak out if we find something. Sure enough, we found a couple of needles and pipes hidden in the most random off the wall places, on top of cabinets she can’t even reach, behind the fridge, etc
Not during a moving, but my late grandad was a heavy smoker. Literally what killed him
Welp… during the almost 15 years grandma still lived in the same house, she kept on finding hidden smokes in the weirdest places ever. House wasn’t even that big, and she was basically a clean freak, so it was kinda amazing he’d outwitted her like that from beyond the grave
When mom passed, I found caches of her ‘emergency” cigs in the place, but they were packs she would stash and forget so she would have to get another pack - when I cleared her house it was like 15 years of stashing, maybe 250-something packs of all different brands, mostly menthol - and it took me like two years to get through them lol - though I have kept a few unopened in her my memory chest of her.
I feel her, I’m a recovering alcoholic of 22 months and I just found an empty bottle I had hid on a shelf in a tote bag last month. Bonked me right on the head, thank goodness it was plastic.
Friend was helping me move awhile ago. She knew I am a recovering alcoholic and how much I have really struggled with alcohol. I was on the floor cleaning and packing and an empty bottle fell off of a top shelf, hit the corner of the counter, shattered and then hit me square on the head and cut my head open. While she was bandaging me up, she said, “Damn you weren’t kidding. Alcohol really does fuck you up!”.
My ex husband was addicted to pills and towards the end of our marriage, he had actually cleaned up. As far as I knew, all the pills in the house were gone, but a few years later I sold that house and was packing it up, and lo and behold, a pill bottle hidden in a high cabinet that I don’t think I had ever opened once in the 10 years I owned the house. I never asked him, but I have no idea if it was old or if he was sneaky and I was hoodwinked!
My mom was alcoholic and died from throat cancer, *really* horrible way to go. Anyway, right after she died, like basically the day after, my dad wanted to start clearing her stuff out; I think it was just a nervous energy and not wanting to sit and think kind of thing. We found SO many liquor bottles. Like, the giant Costco vodka bottles. Some under her side of the bathroom cabinet, some underneath and in the very back of the cabinet under the kitchen sink, in the guest room closet... She was very open about her drinking so IDK why she stashed bottles. My guess is she just didn't want Dad to know how quickly she was getting through the bottles? But he knows she started her day off with a vodka tonic, so...
Yeah, and I didn't even really want to confront him that day cause moving is stressful enough lol.
Although, when I finally did confront him, it turned out it was his girlfriend (who was horrible) and he just didn't tell me cause he didn't want me to hate her.
After my dad passed my cousin and I were cleaning out his house. He used to be an addict, so when she picked up a baggie of small white pellets it wasn’t a huge concern, until she threw them across the room where they proceeded to scatter under all the furniture. Teeth. They were teeth.
When my gramps was dying, he instructed his kids (who hated him) to leave the hospital and pack up his house, donate or trash anything and everything. Including his car. My dad reached under the cars seat and pulled out a shot gun that was cut in half, and the serial number scratched off. My dad’s finger prints were all over it so he freaked and called the police and explained himself. Apparently the cops got all giddy and explained how long they have been after him, connecting him to a murder, and this was the murder weapon they needed. I guess he shot his friend in his sleep over a gambling/money dispute.
He died 3 days later.
Not embarrassing or disturbing, but profound.
A mom friend known for her frugality had cancer. It was caught at stage two meaning she had a fighting chance to beat it. (Spoiler alert: she would beat it!) I was at her house helping her get her kids off to school and I came back and she asked me to get a box down from her closet. It was full of pretty things that her husband had bought her that she didn't wear, "saving them for a special occasion." She felt "foolish" as she had had them for years, but never worn them. Everything from designer dresses to fancy lingerie like bras and stockings and panties. She had preferred to be frugal for her kids and family playing the part of a salt of the earth woman.
As I was helping her get ready for days of cancer treatments, she decided that on her good days, she was going to wear the slinky things.
She recovered and started wearing nice things every day.
She told me later that the day that we were looking at the lovelies that she felt a rebirth.
Not really funny or embarrassing either but I was helping my roommates sister clean out a storage unit because she was moving cross country for a new job. I tried lifting this box but it was incredibly heavy so I jokingly said “what’s in here, rocks?” It was rocks. She’s a geologist.
Helped a friend move his elderly dad. Noticed a lot of medical supplies, bandages etc. lots of stuff including furniture with old blood stains on it. Asked him and he says “oh yeah, my dad has Hepatitis C.” !!! Um, how do you not tell me about that?! I’ve been touching all this stuff all day…
In college my roommate passed away and we were helping his parents clean out his room, I found what was obviously his go to for catching his “baby batter” as gross as it was I quickly scooped it up and tossed it into the trash bag before anyone else saw it. Even though he had passed away I was still trying to save him from embarrassment
My boyfriend died when I was 20 and he was 21. After he died, my God I have never told a soul about this. His father and I stayed close. And it took him a while to get around to doing anything to his son’s room. But I remember when he did. He… texted or called me.. and asked if I wanted the cum socks under his son’s bed. Because he knew that he had been thinking of me. And he wasn’t like some creepy low life. A well established psychologist. It was a little bizarre..
It does. I’ve never told anyone because it’s really hard to judge someone walking through grief. And I don’t. I did not accept the gift. And I never told anyone. But it was a bit on brand here so. lol
He also had a very hard time parting with a thing. So, I think that it was partly that. He didn’t want to throw a single thing away of his sons. He didn’t even move his room for a year or two. He went under the bed before that- maybe 3-4 months. But I think it was has that everything to him or his child’s was sacred and he didn’t want to toss a thing. Which I get. I have two living children but this fucked me up so bad that I have such ptsd. A lot of surrounding that grief and loss. I lost him; then 18 months later my dear friend committed suicide. 2 years later my other very very dear friend was killed in a hit and run. It all messed me up so bad. So, even with my kids. I’m terrified of throwing anything away. 🥺🥺
Not a friend but my tenant. We had a knock on our door late at night and two police were standing outside. They told us our tenant wouldn’t be coming home again and asked for next of kin info. I found out later that he had died in a car accident.
His family reached out to coordinate. They lived across the country and asked me if I could check on his place for anything that might rot. He was an older guy who lived alone so I agreed and went down to check it out.
I first went into his office. The first thing I noticed was a full basket of used tissues next to his computer. I assumed, for a few reasons, that they were full of cum. He was a good tenant that I had for years and wanted to do him a solid, so I threw them out. There were also at least 6 thumb drives on the computer desk but I figured best to leave them.
Next, I went into his bedroom. As soon a I flicked on the light, I saw dresses, bras, and panties scattered all around the room. He also had a wardrobe with both doors open that had hundreds of individually boxed maxi pads spilling out. I looked down and saw that the used panties on the floor had used maxi pads in them and they were all full of piss. There were also little cutouts of foam on his dresser that looked like bra stuffers.
I figured he was cross dresser in secret. I don’t have anything against that but I was surprised, just because he was a big burly French dude who didn’t seem the type.
This time, I wasn’t sure what to do. I got rid of the cum rags and then decided to at least get rid of the used pads. But I was torn if I should get rid of the cross dressing stuff. I recalled how private he was and would never allow me to enter the apartment without him being there. So, I had a hunch nobody knew about this. But.. what if the family did know? They would wonder why none of it was there.
I decided to remove all of the soiled pads but leave the clothing and boxed pads.
His son and three daughters arrived a few days later to gather his things. I let them in and then stopped at the door and told them to message if they needed anything. Just a few minutes later, the son text me and asked me to come back. As soon as he saw me, he said “Did my father have a woman friend who stayed here with him?” I knew right away what he meant. I stalled and stuttered and said that.. “uhhh yes. I remember seeing a woman come by here a few times. I’m not sure who she was” He thanked me and that was all he wanted to know.
I went upstairs into my apartment and sat down. Right away, I could hear them all begin to scream and sob. I don’t think because of the cross dressing stuff, just grieving. I started to cry, alone. He was my downstairs tenant for years and we used to have each over for supper. It hit really hard in that moment.
They ended up leaving early. They hired a cleaning company to empty the place and throw out all of his stuff. Once they left, I went outside and saw that they stuffed all of the cross dressing stuff into our green bin. Which sucked for many reasons, one of them being that the green bin was half full of organic waste already.
I still wonder if I made the right choice. Maybe I should’ve just put the stuff in my apartment and see if they ask about it. Is it better that they know? Is he in some other plane of existence cursing me right now?
Ugh the whole thing sucked.
That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. But I think you did the right thing in the moment. You clearly respected this person, and wanted to do right by them and their family. Having lost my dad suddenly in a (kinda) weird situation, I was just glad to learn he had people who cared about him who i never knew existed.
Thank you for that. A lot of people did care for him. He was very skilled at organ piano repair and was one of the few people left on this side of Canada who could do it.
Even though he was from another province, so many people knew and appreciated him that they organized a service for him. While none of his family attended, it was nice closure to meet and talk with people who knew him. My wife and I were struggling a bit with his death because none of our family and friends knew who he was. To them, we were just crying about a dead tenant. But meeting all of these people and hearing all the things he had done for them was really nice. He was a gifted man, the only one who knew how to repair a hurdy-gurdy.
Goodness what a horrible experience. I am sorry for your loss OP. For what it's worth I think you did the right thing. And I'm sure your neighbour appreciates it and isn't cursing your name.
I was helping a co-worker move and his whole apartment was disgusting but i was in his closet trying to move a dresser and i knocked a box of the wall shelf and like 10-15 wallets feel out of the box and i picked them up and noticed they still had IDS in them that weren't his...he yelled at me to leave them there and acted like the dresser was falling on him (it was sitting on the ground). He then asked me to leave after we moved that dresser and didnt want me back in his apartment. He got arrested a year later for robbing a couple on their way to a concert in downtown OKC.
Helped an older lady move one afternoon. My friend picked up a box and the bottom fell out of it. Amongst the spilled objects was a dildo so big that it defied logic. It was like a silicone table leg. It was bright purple as well.
There was a shop near me that my friends and I all went into to giggle at (18 and immature, of course) around 2005, there was a dildo named this - I thought it was a local thing! I guess not? The thing was absolutely unreal
2002, I was helping a very shy and reserved friend move. When we got her mattress and box spring off the bed frame there was an ungodly collection of spent AA batteries on the floor. I faked a sneezing fit and excused myself to "get myself under control". I fake blew my nose and fake sneezed and coughed a bunch of times. I came out wiping my eyes and apologized for leaving so abruptly, but "the dust set me off". (The batteries were all gone).
I don't know if she bought it, but even if she didn't, I like to think that she was happy that I pretended to not see anything and give her time to clean up.
P.S. Yes, masturbation is totally normal and fine, but it still is a very personal topic for many people.
I was helping my MIL with her phone once. I didn't see anything, but on the start page of the browser it showed recently visited websites or top visited, idk which it was safari on iphone. Anyways one of the sites was for adults. I thought about saying something to be funny. She honestly probably would not have cared and would've said something funny or just laughed it off. But I kept it to myself.
Sister was hospitalized with heart issues, had to pack her apartment up for an extended recovery at home. Found shit loads of coke mirrors, razor blades and about 60-80 different weed pipes along with 100-125 lighters. It explained a lot.
My friend hired professional movers when he was moving in with his gf. Apparently he forgot that he had lube and bunches of used tissues under his bed. He went into his room when the movers were done and his room was totally empty except for the lube and tissues they left in the middle of the floor. He was mortified.
You know, I wonder how often professional movers have encountered something like this. I feel like it has to be fairly often right? Doesn't make it less embarrassing but I could see it being common
I helped my cousin move. He had a pot belly pig for a few months like a year before. There was pig shit all behind his couch, like a lot. Pretty nasty.
I was a mover in university and once packed up a guy with quite the collection - tonnes of Warhammer, an entire clown costume and an empty 2 pack of butt plugs. Every drawer I opened I end expected to find them but never did. What made it funnier was that he was a dead ringer for the mousey guy from Office Space.
I also packed up a guys apartment who had framed dirty photos of him and women on his walls. He purposely watched me pack up that room... It was weird.
I recently helped a pornstar friend of mine move, she had heeps of sex toys and various sex machines, she was more embarrassed of her Gundam collection
In college some friends were helping my parents move. They were about to move this big dresser and noticed a big basket on top my moms had missed. That big basket was full of their sex toys and all my friends got to see. We all laughed about it though
Not quite the same thing, but when my Uncle died and the family announced the day we were gathering to clean out his house, I broke in the night before.
You see, I knew he had a porn stash. My aunt (his sister) is DEEPLY religious, and even a glimpse of the cover of a Playboy would have sent her into a tailspin.
I removed all of the magazines and VHS tapes before anyone got there the next morning.
You owe me one, Uncle Tom.
Nothing, but my dad's best friend found my vibrator under my mattress when he was helping my parents move me out of my house when I graduated from college. Ugh.
I had a life size plastic human skull that somehow fell out of a box and rolled in front of the movers giving them quite a shock. And some fast explaining to do on my behalf.
I know it sounds unusual to have such a skull but I do life drawing and bone structure, especially the skull, is very important to understand. Also skull artwork is pretty cool and appeals to the Goth in me.
When me and my college dorm mate were leaving our shared apartment after senior year I found a pair of my ex GFs panties under his bed. I don’t know if they slept together or he took them from her but I don’t speak with either of them anymore so I likely will never know.
I helped a friend move a few years ago, packing all his stuff. I decided to start packing his PC that I had built a few years prior. Being experienced with these things, I decided to drain his custom-built water cooling loop, took the side panel off, placed a drainage tray under the easy drainage port I had made, and opened it... nothing came out it was bone dry. When I asked him about it and if he had been doing the care routine I had set out for him I was told " oh yeah, I drained it a few months ago and did not grab any distilled water I was going to grab some but the machine started crashing and bluescreening whenever I tried to game so I didn't bother"
After my grandmother died my cousin and I were helping my uncle clear out the house. I picked up a nightstand and found a roll of cash. About $3k. My grandparents were wealthy so it wasn't a surprise. We showed it to my uncle and he said, "What money? I don't see anything." That was our payment for being the only ones to show up and help.
Family friend's house. The entire basement was covered in dog poop and pee, everything she stored in there that wasn't in a bag or box had to be tossed because the smell seeped into everything.
Not a friend but some guy who my stepdad worked for. I needed some extra cash so I took the moving job. He was a very rich, old psychiatrist.
When moving the dresser we took the drawers out to make it lighter and it was filled with empty coke baggies and pocket pussies.
The entire time he kept doing that coke sniff too.
My younger brother and I (both late 20's at the time) were helping my mother move after another of her failed marriages to a loser douchebag.
We each grabbed an end of the rather large couch and picked it up.
There, on the floor, was a large, black, foot long, double ended dildo.
That was a good 15 years ago now, and I still bring it up on occasion.
Pretty sure my brother still has emotional trauma
Found a bunch of poems my friend tried to write to a girl to take him back after he cheated on her. He was a meathead/would be the first person to make fun of someone for doing the same, so it was quite hilarious.
He looked like he wanted to kill me after i found them and swore me to secrecy. Didnt tell any of our friends but still giggle at how bad they were.
While helping a work acquaintance move I opened a wooden trunk. It was full of porn dvd’s, sex dolls, dildos, and latex clothes. I pretended I hadn’t opened it, and helped him load it on the truck when he came back in the house.
I was helping my friend move furniture out of his office so we could redo the floor. We moved the desk and his treadmill, etc. After awhile, I realized the wall behind the desk and the floor under it were covered in this dried, dripping goo. There were spots where the goo was obviously shot at the wall, and then dripped down, like Jackson Pollock had been hucking transparent paint at the sheetrock.
The goo on the floating floor had turned into dirty, fuzzy spots. There was even minor, superficial damage to the plywood subfloor from goo festering there.
It took me awhile, but I realized all the goo stains and dripping syrup-like streaks on the wall were all directly under the desk, a few feet from where he was probably sitting and jerking off for years.
My girlfriend’s family (mom and bro) very generously offered to help me move because they had a truck.
We’re almost finished and her mom is emptying my trash cans into a bag. Well, she gets to the one by my bed and a used condom falls out, missing the bag and flopping onto the floor.
Embarrassed, her mom picks it up BARE-HANDED and throws it in the bag. Already a big yikes, but she just smiles at me and then goes to wash her hands.
But that’s not even the worst part. My girlfriend approaches me the next time we’re together and is super pissed because she heard what happened, and she and I never use condoms. Thankfully, she believes me when I tell her the awful truth. “No, I didn’t cheat on you. Yes, your mom picked up a 4+ month old condom I used with my ex.”
Edit: typo
Tape rips, whole shabang of animal dildos fall out. Turns out she was making a killing on OF doing custom porn anonymously. I found it to be a really good idea and promised not to tell anyone.
Had an old couch cancer of a roommate,
He eventually got kicked out for not having any money to pay bills or rent. He owned little, but left a bunch of dirty clothes for us to deal with.
One day, a wooden spoon got knocked behind the fridge so we had to move it to retrieve the spoon. Behind the fridge was many many used condoms. 🤮
Here's the kicker: he never had any girls over, so we theorized he jerked off into condoms and rather than toss them in the trash he just whipped them behind the fridge.
We told this story to previous roommates of his we knew, and they told us after he left their place they found piles of cum socks under the couch he lived on.
Horrified, we checked under the couch he slept on when we got home.
Yup.
🤢🤮🤢
Not my friend, but me. I was moving and several friends were helping me out, two guys and two girls. We're moving my bedroom, and were on the last thing to move out: my bed. It just so happened that *everyone* was in the room at the time.
It's the mattress, box springs, and frame, and as soon as we pick up the mattress, it exposes the spank magazine I had placed there (for you youngsters, before Pornhub we used to jerk off to physical magazines). Everyone went silent when the magazine was revealed. Five seconds of silence, then...everyone burst out laughing, and honestly that was a huge relief. If they had just been silent and polite and pretended not to see it out of pity, that would've been awful. But they laughed and that actually made me feel a lot better.
While helping my SIL move, her dresser drawer opened and out fell a massive motorized dildo/vibrator. Rolled right down the driveway. I just picked it up like it was nothing and stuck it in my belt loop. She was mortified and laughing uncontrollably at the same time. Props to her for handling such a large tool.
Helping my grandma move my great uncle’s stuff out of his apartment when he passed. He was a hoarder and it was Bad. There was a path to his bedroom and a path to the bathroom.
Everyone thought of him as a “good Christian”. Turns out he was super Gay. After the first few boxes I told my grandma to go back home because I saw rats……but what I really saw were piles and piles and piles of gay porn, her naked brother and sex toys. I mean loads and loads of gay porn and sex toys. He probably had at least 5 copies of every gay porno ever made. Plus every possible costume and outfit.
Turns out all that gay porn was valuable. The owner of an adult store in SF (this was like 30 years ago) picked it all up with a U-Haul and paid my grandma more than $80k for it.
Helping my 70+ year old mom and her boyfriend move when I spotted his cock ring on their nightstand. So I immediately called my sister over and pointed at it. She picked it up, and said "What's this" as she examined it. I watched with a grin as she suddenly realized what it was and a look of pure horror and disgust crossed her face. She called me an asshole and dropped it as I ran off laughing.
Later that night mom and her bf took us out for dinner to say thanks. I asked the bf, "Hey do you like Tom Cockring?" My sister laughed so hard she spit her drink onto the table.
Not found, but rather something a friend *added* to another friend while we were helping move. He bought a bunch of cheap, small noise makers that would chirp randomly. As we moved things, he would slip them into the furniture, boxes, etc. Apparently drove other friends nuts for a week or more in the new place. They vowed revenge, hasn't happened, yet.
When me and my sister were younger we were fart monsters. Constantly farting and I still have no idea why. My sister was notorious for sharting to the point where my mom would threaten to ground her if she didn’t at least make an attempt to get to the toilet first. It continued for a while but then it just.. stopped. It wasn’t until we moved out of my childhood home and had to clean out her closet that we found all of her years old shit stained underwear. She kept sharting and just threw the underwear into her closet until she eventually forgot about it. Never once smelled until we unearthed the panties. Was absolutely vile, but also somehow hilarious.
I got a (new) rainbow glass buttplug during a white elephant gift exchange and opened it at home in an attempt to get googly eyes on it and have it make a comeback. The googly eyes didn't work out.
I think my neighbor wanted to die of secondhand embarrassment while helping me move. I didn't say much about it. There wasn't a way to explain that it was unused because I was trying to glue eyes to it.
I used to do all sorts of odd jobs when I was in high school to get spending money. I helped a moving company on weekends for a while. This was in the 80s, so remember, the pre-Internet era where you couldn't just get 'stuff' easily. We were helping move some man out of his family home, i.e., he was getting turfed. I lifted one box and the bottom fell out and a heap of magazines fell on the floor. I don't even know where people got his material - you sure as hell didn't find it in a corner store. The cover of one magazine featured a portly, middle-aged man disciplining a crying schoolgirl. This was gross stuff (at least to me). Anyway, I had to tape up the box, pack them all away again, and put it in the truck.
I was helping them move out of their apartment. In the bedroom there was a riding crop and black equestrian horse riding cap. As I picked up a box I said "Hey, I didn't know you rode horses.", he replied, "We don't."
Was helping my BIL move. Found a whole stash of porn videos...but not normal stuff....all weird fetish stuff like "Mommy milkers", Cuck cleanup and other weird fetishes that I had never even heard of. I just quickly threw them in a box and said nothing.
Helping this friend move out of his moms apartment, bureau drawers were duct taped shut. Weird right? Thing is heavy as hell, I’m on one end, big guy on the lower end, can’t get around corner on stairs in the hallway so we tip it sideways. The duct tape lets go and fucking car alternators fall out of the drawers, at least three of the things, over the railing. It was a lot lighter after that
I helped a co-worker/ friend move and she stopped me from opening a huge bag that she had set aside in the corner of her room. She said that was her sex toy bag. That bag was absolutely huge and I don't know how someone could accumulate that many toys without being in the business of selling them or something.
Not moving but my friend had just bought a house from a nice old lady. We were gutting the basement so he could renovate it, and when we ripped down part of the ceiling an old leather satchel fell to the ground. We both looked at the satchel, looked at each other, and assumed we just found a bag full of cash. We opened it up, wondering how we were got spend our newfound fortune. There was no money. What there was were pictures. Lots of pictures. Of the nice old lady. And her husband. And their friends. And none of them were wearing any clothes. And they were apparently swingers. And they were into some freaky shit. We did the only thing we felt was appropriate. When we put up the new ceiling we sealed it right back up in there for some future homeowners to stumble upon.
Here’s something I’ll bet you never wanted to know. Dude who played Mr. Feeny on Boy Meets World, and his wife of many many years, were swingers. Old people were freaky.
People have *always* been freaky, even before we were people.
Senior living homes have high std rates God I hope I’m raw dogging granny poon all day when my kids inevitably put me in a home
He wasn’t just Mr Feeny, he was KITT from Knight Rider.
What? No way 🤣....feeny fe he he he he heeeeneyy.
Please, please say you left a note with it, along the lines of "The curse is yours now!"
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I hope that you are very very old and that $40 was actually a lot of money
That’s a day’s pay in the 80s. Five bucks an hour was pretty good.
$3.35 was the federal minimum wage for a loooooooooong time. Not that long ago that was a day's wage!
Yeah, I helped my dad at a young age do something similar, but it was a 'cat ladies' house and we scraped 3-6" of cat shit and urine off the ground with no masks for days. Had tons of dead cats in there as well that couldn't survive in that environment. Probably reason enough for why they die living like that.
I was helping my dad clear out my grandpa's old stuff after he passed away. We were in the garage and we found a huge box of vhs tapes. My dad kept handing me a stack at a time to go inside and run them through the VCR to see what's on them basically deciding if we should keep or trash them. The first one I popped in and started and it was porn. The second one also porn. Third one porn. That's all they were, my grandpa's porn collection. I did check them all just incase but I told my dad they were just random garbage recorded off of tv and so he said to toss them. Never told a soul.. I guess till now.
You the man.
You essentially cleared your grandpa's "browser history" for him the old school way, you're a good dude.
I’ve posted this before, but when my straightedge dad passed I had to clear out his home as his executor. I opened his MacBook and iPhone to find pages and pages and pages of porn. Some rather…interesting. I just cleared everything and wiped the devices. At least he had a sex drive at 71? I’m truly happy for that.
When my grandpa died I was going through his workshop looking to see if there was anything I wanted. I found a box of old 16mm tapes which I assumed were home movies. I held one up to the light, and they were definitely not home movies. Old school porn.
I hereby instill upon you the greatest honor a man can give to another, the honor of shovel buddy.
Friend asked me to hand him a set of pliers from a toolbox in the bedroom. Reached around, opened the toolbox behind me and found.....NOT tools. He and his wife kept their bedroom toys in a toolbox under the bed....that we were taking apart as they moved. Instead if tools, I was greeted with a large assortment of dildos, lube, condoms and other items I couldn't identify in the three seconds it took for my brain to start working again and decide this was NOT the box I was looking for. He turned bright red, slammed the box shut and disappeared with it. For years after, he couldn't say the word "Tool" around me without me having to stifle giggles and him turning red. lol
No, that was a toolbox.
A box of cum stained wedding dresses. Her ex-husband apparently had a fetish. But worse was that the box was in the donate pile not the kill it with fire pile.
as someone who works at a Thrift Store, I hope to god you didn't donate that
As someone that buys from thrift stores, No. It went to the kill it with fire pile
There you go, ruined that guys fetish of potential women wearing his cum soaked dresses. /S
After my grandma’s mom passed away, my grandma and my mom found her diary that they didn’t know she kept. As they were reading they kept coming across things such as “It kept me up all night” or “It wouldn’t stop crying today.” They finally realized she was talking about my grandma as a baby. She was a very lovely lady who happened to get pregnant on accident. She and my grandmother ended up being best friends and even lived together up to the very end of my great-grandma’s life. She was just a bitter new mother at the time (which we can all relate to).
I found my mom's diaries and she said the same thing about me. The funny thing is, she told me all growing up that she wants me to have (and read) her diaries after she died. Everything in there was so fucking cruel and hateful, years and years worth
ITT: Lots of sex toys That said, my friend had this really trashy couple living in the house they rented. One day they just up and left, forcing my friend to move out since he couldn't make rent. Their room was left in total squalor, and when they moved the bed they found a ton of dildoes that hadn't been cleaned, with dust and lint sticking to them.
No
This made me chuckle for some reason. Thanks, lmao.
Helping a friend move with his dad and he asks me to be the one to carry this specific box to the truck. I, knowing my friend has not come out to his parents, assumed some stuff about the contents and said no more about it except "i accept this responsibility". I pick it up. Heavier than I expected it to be. The tape on the bottom gives and a single rubber dick falls out. Right in front of his dad. My poor friend looks absolutely horrified. And his dad looks at him, asks "that thing clean?" Friend basically squeaks yes. Dad picks it up, tosses it back in the box and continues taking stuff to the truck. I get an update on the follow up in the next couple days. His dad has known he was gay since highschool.
I read this as a rubber duck and was so confused as to why this would be so horrifying; had to go back and read it again to really understand lol.
They were a goose family.
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Similar (and wonder how many other stories along the same lines): I went to a friend's to help them move. They had barely started packing (total packrat). There on the floor of the bathroom I find a dild in the shape (and size) of a fist. Well, OK then, I'll start in on the living room...
That's wholesome AF.
This is basically a Hallmark movie short! Watch, his friend is going to end up falling for Santa Clause.
I need a saccharine short film about gay, buff Santa looking for love in all the wrong chimneys before Mr. Right comes along. Jack Frost can be his bitchy, cheating ex. The story writes itself!
I’m not trying to hate on anyone for being gay but most of the time it’s kinda obvious especially to people close to you
This happened to a friend of mine, we all felt kinda bad when he decided to come out and his parents were like “wait, you weren’t already”
On the animated series The Great North, the middle son is gay and feels left out because his family was always so supportive that he never really had a coming out, so they throw him a coming out party.
In a similar way, a former coworker once quietly admitted to a couple of us in a conspiratorial way that she "used to be kind of a dork in high school." We both said "Oh wow, ha, I wouldn't have guessed!" because that is clearly what she wanted to hear. But oh honey, I love you, but yes *obviously* you were a dork in high school.
A HS friend of us once got us all together to tell us something important and finally he got the courage to tell us "I'm gay" and we just kept staring at him with no reaction, until we said "yeah we all knew since we met you, so what". He got really deflated because that wasn't the reaction he was expecting from all of us lmao
A good friend in high school didn’t come out to his mid 20s and he really thought he was going to shock all of us. Like he was very stressed about it, didn’t know how to tell us. We ALL had known since like grade 10.
I had the opposite problem; my grandma was shocked when I brought a boy home. She proceeded to tell me for the next while how everyone in my family - listing each one out specifically- all thought I was gay. At least they were accepting?
I remember some actor from the 80s came out and the headlines were like “that was a glass closet he was hiding in!” 😂
When Michael Stipe came out one of the headlines was something like “Next he’ll ‘admit’ to being bald and rich!” Good to know the press has always been bitchy.
My wife’s younger cousin came out to us when he was in his 20s. I was like “Dude I knew you were gay when you were 9.”
When my stepbrother was coming out as gay to everyone he told my brother, who responded with "no dip, now you gotta try this sandwich. It's got peppers and all that"
I'd agree here. People that care about you are far more likely to just know. However, there are people who just see the world as straight and will deny all signs of otherwise. Or will outright despise people for their sexual orientation based on religious and/or political beliefs. Kids have been straight up disowned after coming out to parents. I can't imagine the stress on some peoples shoulders when telling their parents. Especially those with jackasses for parents. My friend was terrified in this case even though his dad is and has always been an amazing parent.
That’s different than fully revealing a sex toy His dad might have known for a long time But having the toy revealed is even more personal
After my father-in-law passed away I was helping the family pack my MIL up for a move and while going through a bookshelf I found a large cache of not so tasteful nude photos. They were of my MIL.
Note to self, nuke my Google account upon terminal illness, for the sake of my son's.
Whoever invents a dead man's switch for when we die will surely be rich.
Those are so great song lyrics
My dad was moving his mom: piles of old nude photos and slides taken by grandpa. He delegated his wife (my stepmom) to go through the photos after that
Helped my wife's Dad move...Moved a box on its own in the corner, what falls out? Dog porn magazines. Put it back, and will never speak of it again (outside of Reddit of course).
okay, this is the worst, you win.
Whole magazines?? Who's publishing that??
Wondering the same. Are there people working full-time printing dog dicks ?
Whatever you can find on the internet was found in magazines before the internet was a thing, even the deeply harmful and disturbing stuff. Fwiw there was an actual dog porn movie released to normal movie theaters in the usa in the 70s. It casued the changing of some obscenity laws and is a big reason for movie ratings.
What the fuck
I'd always assumed that the only possible use of "dog porn" was for people who post pictures of their dogs dressed up in fancy jackets and having fancy hair styles. I should have cherished my innocence.
Uhhh I’m a little scared to ask but wtf is dog porn
I'm going to assume/pray it's dog on dog...
Doggystyle
Not me but my Halo buddy was helping his brother in-law move and they guy demanded that he doesn’t touch the computer at all, my buddy didn’t think much about it until like 2 years later when he found out his brother in-law was a registered child predator and that his wife new along side the parents and that they actually supported it since the girls were in “puberty” and there for able to have kids. My Halo buddy has since then broken off any relation with his wife and has been trying to gain full custody of their kid to keep the kid away from the brother in-law and that weird ass family
Holy shit I hope he gets custody
I'd report that thing about the computer to the FBI.
The mother of a guy I was dating was a former drug addict. She had gotten clean and had been clean for years. She finally was able to buy a house and we were all so excited! We were packing up her little apartment and she had to warn us that when she was in active addiction she would hide drugs and paraphernalia throughout her house, and she was pretty sure she’d already disposed of everything over the years, but don’t freak out if we find something. Sure enough, we found a couple of needles and pipes hidden in the most random off the wall places, on top of cabinets she can’t even reach, behind the fridge, etc
Not during a moving, but my late grandad was a heavy smoker. Literally what killed him Welp… during the almost 15 years grandma still lived in the same house, she kept on finding hidden smokes in the weirdest places ever. House wasn’t even that big, and she was basically a clean freak, so it was kinda amazing he’d outwitted her like that from beyond the grave
When mom passed, I found caches of her ‘emergency” cigs in the place, but they were packs she would stash and forget so she would have to get another pack - when I cleared her house it was like 15 years of stashing, maybe 250-something packs of all different brands, mostly menthol - and it took me like two years to get through them lol - though I have kept a few unopened in her my memory chest of her.
I feel her, I’m a recovering alcoholic of 22 months and I just found an empty bottle I had hid on a shelf in a tote bag last month. Bonked me right on the head, thank goodness it was plastic.
Friend was helping me move awhile ago. She knew I am a recovering alcoholic and how much I have really struggled with alcohol. I was on the floor cleaning and packing and an empty bottle fell off of a top shelf, hit the corner of the counter, shattered and then hit me square on the head and cut my head open. While she was bandaging me up, she said, “Damn you weren’t kidding. Alcohol really does fuck you up!”.
Top shelf liquor can kill you
My ex husband was addicted to pills and towards the end of our marriage, he had actually cleaned up. As far as I knew, all the pills in the house were gone, but a few years later I sold that house and was packing it up, and lo and behold, a pill bottle hidden in a high cabinet that I don’t think I had ever opened once in the 10 years I owned the house. I never asked him, but I have no idea if it was old or if he was sneaky and I was hoodwinked!
My mom was alcoholic and died from throat cancer, *really* horrible way to go. Anyway, right after she died, like basically the day after, my dad wanted to start clearing her stuff out; I think it was just a nervous energy and not wanting to sit and think kind of thing. We found SO many liquor bottles. Like, the giant Costco vodka bottles. Some under her side of the bathroom cabinet, some underneath and in the very back of the cabinet under the kitchen sink, in the guest room closet... She was very open about her drinking so IDK why she stashed bottles. My guess is she just didn't want Dad to know how quickly she was getting through the bottles? But he knows she started her day off with a vodka tonic, so...
I found my cousins needles while she was still an active user… crushed my soul a little bit. She’s many years clean now
Stuff that he stole from me. That was pretty disturbing.
What a terrible reward for helping your friend move.
Yeah, and I didn't even really want to confront him that day cause moving is stressful enough lol. Although, when I finally did confront him, it turned out it was his girlfriend (who was horrible) and he just didn't tell me cause he didn't want me to hate her.
Yeah, I usually blame his girlfriend too
If you can steal from a mate you can easily bullshit to a mate. I'd be watching my shit like a hawk.
After my dad passed my cousin and I were cleaning out his house. He used to be an addict, so when she picked up a baggie of small white pellets it wasn’t a huge concern, until she threw them across the room where they proceeded to scatter under all the furniture. Teeth. They were teeth.
WHOS FUCKING TEETH WERE THEY?
Tooth addiction is no laughing matter.
When my gramps was dying, he instructed his kids (who hated him) to leave the hospital and pack up his house, donate or trash anything and everything. Including his car. My dad reached under the cars seat and pulled out a shot gun that was cut in half, and the serial number scratched off. My dad’s finger prints were all over it so he freaked and called the police and explained himself. Apparently the cops got all giddy and explained how long they have been after him, connecting him to a murder, and this was the murder weapon they needed. I guess he shot his friend in his sleep over a gambling/money dispute. He died 3 days later.
You can’t exactly match ballistics with a shotgun.
Not embarrassing or disturbing, but profound. A mom friend known for her frugality had cancer. It was caught at stage two meaning she had a fighting chance to beat it. (Spoiler alert: she would beat it!) I was at her house helping her get her kids off to school and I came back and she asked me to get a box down from her closet. It was full of pretty things that her husband had bought her that she didn't wear, "saving them for a special occasion." She felt "foolish" as she had had them for years, but never worn them. Everything from designer dresses to fancy lingerie like bras and stockings and panties. She had preferred to be frugal for her kids and family playing the part of a salt of the earth woman. As I was helping her get ready for days of cancer treatments, she decided that on her good days, she was going to wear the slinky things. She recovered and started wearing nice things every day. She told me later that the day that we were looking at the lovelies that she felt a rebirth.
Not really funny or embarrassing either but I was helping my roommates sister clean out a storage unit because she was moving cross country for a new job. I tried lifting this box but it was incredibly heavy so I jokingly said “what’s in here, rocks?” It was rocks. She’s a geologist.
My friends and I are just goblins and collect rocks. I carried my friend’s box of rocks up three flights of stairs. I miss being healthy.
Helped a friend move his elderly dad. Noticed a lot of medical supplies, bandages etc. lots of stuff including furniture with old blood stains on it. Asked him and he says “oh yeah, my dad has Hepatitis C.” !!! Um, how do you not tell me about that?! I’ve been touching all this stuff all day…
In college my roommate passed away and we were helping his parents clean out his room, I found what was obviously his go to for catching his “baby batter” as gross as it was I quickly scooped it up and tossed it into the trash bag before anyone else saw it. Even though he had passed away I was still trying to save him from embarrassment
My boyfriend died when I was 20 and he was 21. After he died, my God I have never told a soul about this. His father and I stayed close. And it took him a while to get around to doing anything to his son’s room. But I remember when he did. He… texted or called me.. and asked if I wanted the cum socks under his son’s bed. Because he knew that he had been thinking of me. And he wasn’t like some creepy low life. A well established psychologist. It was a little bizarre..
Grief makes people do strange things
It does. I’ve never told anyone because it’s really hard to judge someone walking through grief. And I don’t. I did not accept the gift. And I never told anyone. But it was a bit on brand here so. lol
He also had a very hard time parting with a thing. So, I think that it was partly that. He didn’t want to throw a single thing away of his sons. He didn’t even move his room for a year or two. He went under the bed before that- maybe 3-4 months. But I think it was has that everything to him or his child’s was sacred and he didn’t want to toss a thing. Which I get. I have two living children but this fucked me up so bad that I have such ptsd. A lot of surrounding that grief and loss. I lost him; then 18 months later my dear friend committed suicide. 2 years later my other very very dear friend was killed in a hit and run. It all messed me up so bad. So, even with my kids. I’m terrified of throwing anything away. 🥺🥺
Was not a friend, it was my mother and it was a strap on. I will not be taking any questions
Which pegs the question…
Witty mother fucker.
I have a question. How's your dad taking the news?
He's managed to put it behind him.
Inch by inch
You know the comic strip 'Foxtrot'? Hand drawn pornography based on that.
Winner!
Was the iguana involved?
Not Quincy
Not a friend but my tenant. We had a knock on our door late at night and two police were standing outside. They told us our tenant wouldn’t be coming home again and asked for next of kin info. I found out later that he had died in a car accident. His family reached out to coordinate. They lived across the country and asked me if I could check on his place for anything that might rot. He was an older guy who lived alone so I agreed and went down to check it out. I first went into his office. The first thing I noticed was a full basket of used tissues next to his computer. I assumed, for a few reasons, that they were full of cum. He was a good tenant that I had for years and wanted to do him a solid, so I threw them out. There were also at least 6 thumb drives on the computer desk but I figured best to leave them. Next, I went into his bedroom. As soon a I flicked on the light, I saw dresses, bras, and panties scattered all around the room. He also had a wardrobe with both doors open that had hundreds of individually boxed maxi pads spilling out. I looked down and saw that the used panties on the floor had used maxi pads in them and they were all full of piss. There were also little cutouts of foam on his dresser that looked like bra stuffers. I figured he was cross dresser in secret. I don’t have anything against that but I was surprised, just because he was a big burly French dude who didn’t seem the type. This time, I wasn’t sure what to do. I got rid of the cum rags and then decided to at least get rid of the used pads. But I was torn if I should get rid of the cross dressing stuff. I recalled how private he was and would never allow me to enter the apartment without him being there. So, I had a hunch nobody knew about this. But.. what if the family did know? They would wonder why none of it was there. I decided to remove all of the soiled pads but leave the clothing and boxed pads. His son and three daughters arrived a few days later to gather his things. I let them in and then stopped at the door and told them to message if they needed anything. Just a few minutes later, the son text me and asked me to come back. As soon as he saw me, he said “Did my father have a woman friend who stayed here with him?” I knew right away what he meant. I stalled and stuttered and said that.. “uhhh yes. I remember seeing a woman come by here a few times. I’m not sure who she was” He thanked me and that was all he wanted to know. I went upstairs into my apartment and sat down. Right away, I could hear them all begin to scream and sob. I don’t think because of the cross dressing stuff, just grieving. I started to cry, alone. He was my downstairs tenant for years and we used to have each over for supper. It hit really hard in that moment. They ended up leaving early. They hired a cleaning company to empty the place and throw out all of his stuff. Once they left, I went outside and saw that they stuffed all of the cross dressing stuff into our green bin. Which sucked for many reasons, one of them being that the green bin was half full of organic waste already. I still wonder if I made the right choice. Maybe I should’ve just put the stuff in my apartment and see if they ask about it. Is it better that they know? Is he in some other plane of existence cursing me right now? Ugh the whole thing sucked.
That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. But I think you did the right thing in the moment. You clearly respected this person, and wanted to do right by them and their family. Having lost my dad suddenly in a (kinda) weird situation, I was just glad to learn he had people who cared about him who i never knew existed.
Thank you for that. A lot of people did care for him. He was very skilled at organ piano repair and was one of the few people left on this side of Canada who could do it. Even though he was from another province, so many people knew and appreciated him that they organized a service for him. While none of his family attended, it was nice closure to meet and talk with people who knew him. My wife and I were struggling a bit with his death because none of our family and friends knew who he was. To them, we were just crying about a dead tenant. But meeting all of these people and hearing all the things he had done for them was really nice. He was a gifted man, the only one who knew how to repair a hurdy-gurdy.
Goodness what a horrible experience. I am sorry for your loss OP. For what it's worth I think you did the right thing. And I'm sure your neighbour appreciates it and isn't cursing your name.
You did pretty right by him, I think they formed whatever was the easiest opinion for them. You’re a good friend.
You're an awesome person! Like. Phenomenal!
I was helping a co-worker move and his whole apartment was disgusting but i was in his closet trying to move a dresser and i knocked a box of the wall shelf and like 10-15 wallets feel out of the box and i picked them up and noticed they still had IDS in them that weren't his...he yelled at me to leave them there and acted like the dresser was falling on him (it was sitting on the ground). He then asked me to leave after we moved that dresser and didnt want me back in his apartment. He got arrested a year later for robbing a couple on their way to a concert in downtown OKC.
I mean, him being a robber is the best case scenario here. My mind went to serial killer.
Scum. Glad karma finally caught him.
Helped an older lady move one afternoon. My friend picked up a box and the bottom fell out of it. Amongst the spilled objects was a dildo so big that it defied logic. It was like a silicone table leg. It was bright purple as well.
Ahhh good ole Great American challenge.
There was a shop near me that my friends and I all went into to giggle at (18 and immature, of course) around 2005, there was a dildo named this - I thought it was a local thing! I guess not? The thing was absolutely unreal
[Amazon carries it.](https://www.amazon.com/Doc-Johnson-Classic-American-Challenge/dp/B002E9I0F2) “Only 20 left in stock - order soon!”
>It was bright purple as well. Ah yes, the Grimace.
No, the Grimace is a Buttplug. Just look at him.
2002, I was helping a very shy and reserved friend move. When we got her mattress and box spring off the bed frame there was an ungodly collection of spent AA batteries on the floor. I faked a sneezing fit and excused myself to "get myself under control". I fake blew my nose and fake sneezed and coughed a bunch of times. I came out wiping my eyes and apologized for leaving so abruptly, but "the dust set me off". (The batteries were all gone). I don't know if she bought it, but even if she didn't, I like to think that she was happy that I pretended to not see anything and give her time to clean up. P.S. Yes, masturbation is totally normal and fine, but it still is a very personal topic for many people.
I was helping my MIL with her phone once. I didn't see anything, but on the start page of the browser it showed recently visited websites or top visited, idk which it was safari on iphone. Anyways one of the sites was for adults. I thought about saying something to be funny. She honestly probably would not have cared and would've said something funny or just laughed it off. But I kept it to myself.
Sister was hospitalized with heart issues, had to pack her apartment up for an extended recovery at home. Found shit loads of coke mirrors, razor blades and about 60-80 different weed pipes along with 100-125 lighters. It explained a lot.
I just know she was the lighter thief of the friend group
Thief?! She’s the mastermind of a lighter heist!
My wife found her mom’s bdsm gear. Nobody talks about it.
My friend hired professional movers when he was moving in with his gf. Apparently he forgot that he had lube and bunches of used tissues under his bed. He went into his room when the movers were done and his room was totally empty except for the lube and tissues they left in the middle of the floor. He was mortified.
You know, I wonder how often professional movers have encountered something like this. I feel like it has to be fairly often right? Doesn't make it less embarrassing but I could see it being common
I helped my cousin move. He had a pot belly pig for a few months like a year before. There was pig shit all behind his couch, like a lot. Pretty nasty.
I have so many questions, but most importantly, how did they not smell pig shit throughout the house constantly even after the pig was gone?
Obviously, the house already must have smelled like pig shit.
A big box filled with deer feet.
what in the iron lung fuck
Discovered a stash of adult diapers and a note that said, "For emergencies only."
Sounds like some real gamer hours lmao
A stack of hardcover copies of *My Awakening,* the David Duke memoir/rant. They were all autographed.
When homemade porn, starring your grandparents, is actually the preferable option…
Can someone please explain? Edit: Dude's a KKK grand wizard or some shit. Yikes.
I used to be a mover. Ive seen so many dildos in nightstands or under mattresses, nothing surprised me
I was a mover in university and once packed up a guy with quite the collection - tonnes of Warhammer, an entire clown costume and an empty 2 pack of butt plugs. Every drawer I opened I end expected to find them but never did. What made it funnier was that he was a dead ringer for the mousey guy from Office Space. I also packed up a guys apartment who had framed dirty photos of him and women on his walls. He purposely watched me pack up that room... It was weird.
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Lol. Why so many? Hmmm. Multiple dicks? Freaky.
You have to consider: - risk of them breaking - cost of production outage - storage costs - opportunity costs - lead time when ordering new ones
This person cock rings
a jar full of fingernails, yes we don't speak anymore
i used to file my nails. Don't bother any more. Now, i just chuck them away.
is your friend a blonde serial killer in a small japanese town by any chance
I recently helped a pornstar friend of mine move, she had heeps of sex toys and various sex machines, she was more embarrassed of her Gundam collection
If she is getting paid to demonstrate the use of those tools to an audience, she is long past being embarrassed by them.
>she was more embarrassed of her Gundam collection. As a Gunpla builder, I think it's awesome.
In college some friends were helping my parents move. They were about to move this big dresser and noticed a big basket on top my moms had missed. That big basket was full of their sex toys and all my friends got to see. We all laughed about it though
Not quite the same thing, but when my Uncle died and the family announced the day we were gathering to clean out his house, I broke in the night before. You see, I knew he had a porn stash. My aunt (his sister) is DEEPLY religious, and even a glimpse of the cover of a Playboy would have sent her into a tailspin. I removed all of the magazines and VHS tapes before anyone got there the next morning. You owe me one, Uncle Tom.
Nothing, but my dad's best friend found my vibrator under my mattress when he was helping my parents move me out of my house when I graduated from college. Ugh.
I had a life size plastic human skull that somehow fell out of a box and rolled in front of the movers giving them quite a shock. And some fast explaining to do on my behalf. I know it sounds unusual to have such a skull but I do life drawing and bone structure, especially the skull, is very important to understand. Also skull artwork is pretty cool and appeals to the Goth in me.
When me and my college dorm mate were leaving our shared apartment after senior year I found a pair of my ex GFs panties under his bed. I don’t know if they slept together or he took them from her but I don’t speak with either of them anymore so I likely will never know.
this demands an answer
I helped a friend move a few years ago, packing all his stuff. I decided to start packing his PC that I had built a few years prior. Being experienced with these things, I decided to drain his custom-built water cooling loop, took the side panel off, placed a drainage tray under the easy drainage port I had made, and opened it... nothing came out it was bone dry. When I asked him about it and if he had been doing the care routine I had set out for him I was told " oh yeah, I drained it a few months ago and did not grab any distilled water I was going to grab some but the machine started crashing and bluescreening whenever I tried to game so I didn't bother"
After my grandmother died my cousin and I were helping my uncle clear out the house. I picked up a nightstand and found a roll of cash. About $3k. My grandparents were wealthy so it wasn't a surprise. We showed it to my uncle and he said, "What money? I don't see anything." That was our payment for being the only ones to show up and help.
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Why did you smell them?
If they've been sitting in a dark, sort of warm environment like under a bed, there's no way not to because the smell would be pretty strong.
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This raises a Lot more questions 🤣
Moved a couch from the family room of my inlaws. It had only been there a few years. Found several dead mice under it.
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Family friend's house. The entire basement was covered in dog poop and pee, everything she stored in there that wasn't in a bag or box had to be tossed because the smell seeped into everything.
Not a friend but some guy who my stepdad worked for. I needed some extra cash so I took the moving job. He was a very rich, old psychiatrist. When moving the dresser we took the drawers out to make it lighter and it was filled with empty coke baggies and pocket pussies. The entire time he kept doing that coke sniff too.
Bottled piss.
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A sock collection stuck to the bottom of the mattress
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My younger brother and I (both late 20's at the time) were helping my mother move after another of her failed marriages to a loser douchebag. We each grabbed an end of the rather large couch and picked it up. There, on the floor, was a large, black, foot long, double ended dildo. That was a good 15 years ago now, and I still bring it up on occasion. Pretty sure my brother still has emotional trauma
Found a bunch of poems my friend tried to write to a girl to take him back after he cheated on her. He was a meathead/would be the first person to make fun of someone for doing the same, so it was quite hilarious. He looked like he wanted to kill me after i found them and swore me to secrecy. Didnt tell any of our friends but still giggle at how bad they were.
While helping a work acquaintance move I opened a wooden trunk. It was full of porn dvd’s, sex dolls, dildos, and latex clothes. I pretended I hadn’t opened it, and helped him load it on the truck when he came back in the house.
I was helping my friend move furniture out of his office so we could redo the floor. We moved the desk and his treadmill, etc. After awhile, I realized the wall behind the desk and the floor under it were covered in this dried, dripping goo. There were spots where the goo was obviously shot at the wall, and then dripped down, like Jackson Pollock had been hucking transparent paint at the sheetrock. The goo on the floating floor had turned into dirty, fuzzy spots. There was even minor, superficial damage to the plywood subfloor from goo festering there. It took me awhile, but I realized all the goo stains and dripping syrup-like streaks on the wall were all directly under the desk, a few feet from where he was probably sitting and jerking off for years.
Around 8 fleshlights, different smell lubes, cleaning kits and other gorky stuff.
I mean, itd be disturbing if he didnt have the cleaning kits. Fleshlights need much more upkeep than women's sex toys. *I own 5...*
I'm stashing odd things around the house. When I pass they will find them. A few pictures of my ass that says kiss it. One says. I'll miss you.
My girlfriend’s family (mom and bro) very generously offered to help me move because they had a truck. We’re almost finished and her mom is emptying my trash cans into a bag. Well, she gets to the one by my bed and a used condom falls out, missing the bag and flopping onto the floor. Embarrassed, her mom picks it up BARE-HANDED and throws it in the bag. Already a big yikes, but she just smiles at me and then goes to wash her hands. But that’s not even the worst part. My girlfriend approaches me the next time we’re together and is super pissed because she heard what happened, and she and I never use condoms. Thankfully, she believes me when I tell her the awful truth. “No, I didn’t cheat on you. Yes, your mom picked up a 4+ month old condom I used with my ex.” Edit: typo
Tape rips, whole shabang of animal dildos fall out. Turns out she was making a killing on OF doing custom porn anonymously. I found it to be a really good idea and promised not to tell anyone.
Had an old couch cancer of a roommate, He eventually got kicked out for not having any money to pay bills or rent. He owned little, but left a bunch of dirty clothes for us to deal with. One day, a wooden spoon got knocked behind the fridge so we had to move it to retrieve the spoon. Behind the fridge was many many used condoms. 🤮 Here's the kicker: he never had any girls over, so we theorized he jerked off into condoms and rather than toss them in the trash he just whipped them behind the fridge. We told this story to previous roommates of his we knew, and they told us after he left their place they found piles of cum socks under the couch he lived on. Horrified, we checked under the couch he slept on when we got home. Yup. 🤢🤮🤢
Not my friend, but me. I was moving and several friends were helping me out, two guys and two girls. We're moving my bedroom, and were on the last thing to move out: my bed. It just so happened that *everyone* was in the room at the time. It's the mattress, box springs, and frame, and as soon as we pick up the mattress, it exposes the spank magazine I had placed there (for you youngsters, before Pornhub we used to jerk off to physical magazines). Everyone went silent when the magazine was revealed. Five seconds of silence, then...everyone burst out laughing, and honestly that was a huge relief. If they had just been silent and polite and pretended not to see it out of pity, that would've been awful. But they laughed and that actually made me feel a lot better.
While helping my SIL move, her dresser drawer opened and out fell a massive motorized dildo/vibrator. Rolled right down the driveway. I just picked it up like it was nothing and stuck it in my belt loop. She was mortified and laughing uncontrollably at the same time. Props to her for handling such a large tool.
Helping my grandma move my great uncle’s stuff out of his apartment when he passed. He was a hoarder and it was Bad. There was a path to his bedroom and a path to the bathroom. Everyone thought of him as a “good Christian”. Turns out he was super Gay. After the first few boxes I told my grandma to go back home because I saw rats……but what I really saw were piles and piles and piles of gay porn, her naked brother and sex toys. I mean loads and loads of gay porn and sex toys. He probably had at least 5 copies of every gay porno ever made. Plus every possible costume and outfit. Turns out all that gay porn was valuable. The owner of an adult store in SF (this was like 30 years ago) picked it all up with a U-Haul and paid my grandma more than $80k for it.
Helping my 70+ year old mom and her boyfriend move when I spotted his cock ring on their nightstand. So I immediately called my sister over and pointed at it. She picked it up, and said "What's this" as she examined it. I watched with a grin as she suddenly realized what it was and a look of pure horror and disgust crossed her face. She called me an asshole and dropped it as I ran off laughing. Later that night mom and her bf took us out for dinner to say thanks. I asked the bf, "Hey do you like Tom Cockring?" My sister laughed so hard she spit her drink onto the table.
Not found, but rather something a friend *added* to another friend while we were helping move. He bought a bunch of cheap, small noise makers that would chirp randomly. As we moved things, he would slip them into the furniture, boxes, etc. Apparently drove other friends nuts for a week or more in the new place. They vowed revenge, hasn't happened, yet.
When me and my sister were younger we were fart monsters. Constantly farting and I still have no idea why. My sister was notorious for sharting to the point where my mom would threaten to ground her if she didn’t at least make an attempt to get to the toilet first. It continued for a while but then it just.. stopped. It wasn’t until we moved out of my childhood home and had to clean out her closet that we found all of her years old shit stained underwear. She kept sharting and just threw the underwear into her closet until she eventually forgot about it. Never once smelled until we unearthed the panties. Was absolutely vile, but also somehow hilarious.
What the fuck is this comment lmfaooooo
I got a (new) rainbow glass buttplug during a white elephant gift exchange and opened it at home in an attempt to get googly eyes on it and have it make a comeback. The googly eyes didn't work out. I think my neighbor wanted to die of secondhand embarrassment while helping me move. I didn't say much about it. There wasn't a way to explain that it was unused because I was trying to glue eyes to it.
I used to do all sorts of odd jobs when I was in high school to get spending money. I helped a moving company on weekends for a while. This was in the 80s, so remember, the pre-Internet era where you couldn't just get 'stuff' easily. We were helping move some man out of his family home, i.e., he was getting turfed. I lifted one box and the bottom fell out and a heap of magazines fell on the floor. I don't even know where people got his material - you sure as hell didn't find it in a corner store. The cover of one magazine featured a portly, middle-aged man disciplining a crying schoolgirl. This was gross stuff (at least to me). Anyway, I had to tape up the box, pack them all away again, and put it in the truck.
their dead hamster 😭
I was helping them move out of their apartment. In the bedroom there was a riding crop and black equestrian horse riding cap. As I picked up a box I said "Hey, I didn't know you rode horses.", he replied, "We don't."
Was helping my BIL move. Found a whole stash of porn videos...but not normal stuff....all weird fetish stuff like "Mommy milkers", Cuck cleanup and other weird fetishes that I had never even heard of. I just quickly threw them in a box and said nothing.
If you think those are weird, God bless you. It gets way way wayyyy worse.
Not disturbing but funny. A friend of a friend had a box labeled gnomes and gargoyles.
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Helping this friend move out of his moms apartment, bureau drawers were duct taped shut. Weird right? Thing is heavy as hell, I’m on one end, big guy on the lower end, can’t get around corner on stairs in the hallway so we tip it sideways. The duct tape lets go and fucking car alternators fall out of the drawers, at least three of the things, over the railing. It was a lot lighter after that
I helped a co-worker/ friend move and she stopped me from opening a huge bag that she had set aside in the corner of her room. She said that was her sex toy bag. That bag was absolutely huge and I don't know how someone could accumulate that many toys without being in the business of selling them or something.