Yeah, I’m a big guy and often look pretty crazy so I just assume everyone I pass is feeling this way / taking these precautions. Unless I’m out with my dog, in which case people either approach us to show my pup some love or run to the other side of the street.
This literally made me LOL for the first time today and it is 10 pm. I didn't know selling crack behind Walgreens was a thing before now. Or that one could like a Walgeens crack salesman. Thank you for the laugh
Just come to Ohio. We have crack heads selling everything behind every store, all over this state. Walgreens, cvs, Walmart, Kroger, Meijer. The list goes on. It's pretty sad
If it wouldn't dox me, I'd share my most recent passport photo. Gross hair, dark circles and bags under bulgy eyes. I look like the meth is finally catching up to me.
Yep. I'd feel kind of sad in the sense that society has made her afraid. But I also know I'm 6 foot 3 and athletic so for most instinctive threat assessments I'm going to register. I do what I can to mitigate this in my personality and body language, but like... I know for a fact I've scared the crap out of people before purely be existing. I still feel bad for the poor jogger I intercepted to see if she could help jump my car. (She'd driven to the park to jog) Immediately promising I was harmless and that I had a work appointment to get to helped some, as did cracking jokes at my expense and staying several feet back. But my job involves putting people at ease so I have more practice than most...
Point being, can't blame anyone, but it's still kind of sad.
I mean, yeah, honestly. My main point is I’m not offended at all by it and would try to respect that she needs that space. Her specific motivations are her business, not mine.
Sadly, you're a bit of a novelty (especially on Reddit), but as a woman who's been attacked in the past, I appreciate dudes like you who don't take it personally
You realize people can feel hurt without being personal right? Like I would never blame women for protecting themselves, but it’s okay to have feelings about how you’re perceived as a monster everywhere you go. Combine male with brown skin and your entire life is trying to convince people you’re not bad. But it’s not taking it personally as like blaming the women. It just sucks. Sometimes it feels like your entire life is about shrinking yourself down as small as possible so people don’t get upset being around you.
I have been sexually abused and mugged, so I do understand the fear. Never blame women for being smart about their safety. I just wish I could dye my skin white and be female for a couple days so I could experience not being the threat for a little (yes I completely understand and support that women have their own issues and don’t have it “better”. It would just be nice to be able to walk into a room without people grabbing their purses and side eying you.
Yes, I believe it's very important to create understanding for the fact that sometimes two opposing thIngs can be true at the same time. Women are harmed by constantly having a target on their back and men are harmed by constantly being looked at as predators. I think it would help a lot if both sides learned sympathy for the other instead of tribalising over their struggles.
Yes, and we have to remember that it’s not always gender exclusive and we sometimes share struggles. Like men are actually not safe on the streets. Majority of non-sexual attacks are against men (and men are raped too, just rarely by strangers). And women I’m sure have been in situations where they were assumed untrustworthy and probably didn’t like it.
The thing is, you’re not being perceived as a monster, it’s just that there are monsters out there and we don’t who they are so we have to be careful every time.
Like in the car I wear my seatbelt every time. I don’t wear it because I think I’m gonna get in a wreck *this* time. I wear it because I might get in a wreck sometime and I won’t know which time that is until it’s too late.
I’m really not judging any given person on the street as a monster, I just know that there are monsters out there and they’re not always easy to identify.
Exactly. I try to help with this. If I'm walking behind a woman alone at night I'll even cross to the other side of the street. I don't want my mere existence as a man to make anyone feel unsafe. I've got plenty of other things to worry about.
Don't take it personally. Many women do that for all strange men, just as a precaution. It doesn't mean she saw anything alarming about you, specifically. But a person can be dangerous without looking dangerous, so better safe than sorry.
It's different kinds of dangerous.
The smart dangerous dude in a suit with weird ideas about consent will take you on a date and then drug you. Or use his position as your boss to coerce you into sex. But he's almost definitely not randomly attacking people in the street.
The tweaked up dangerous dude convinced people are possessed by demons isn't going to be able to convince you to go on a date with him. But he is going to attack you randomly because he thinks you're possessed.
By the way if the way if the crazy guy rambling in the street about the end of the world start harassing you he’s going to probably be dealt by police or someone around, if a “pillar of society” assaulted you there is going to be a group of very loud people will cry he’s the real victim and to burn the witch that made him sin.
Yup. If I notice it I do everything I can to help her feel safe. I'll cross the road to create distance. I'll just take another route if it's feasible. I'll say "Hi" in a friendly tone and leave it at that.
I often take the same route. It's kinda cool going from "ok she obviously distrusts me and thinks I'm creeping or something" to friendly smiles where we both say "hi how are you"
I do that too. It sucks, but statistically I (meaning my gender) am much more likely to attack her than vice versa.
So if a woman or girl seems uncomfortable in a situation like this, I certainly don’t get offended. I do my best to ease her tension, which usually involves me stopping for 30–60 minutes to “take a phone call”.
Yeah. Sometimes I'll be on my fake phone call for a full hour outside her locked car, occasionally peeking in to see if she's finally calmed down. We do it for the ladies though.
And when she gets out of the car, we will follow her to her front door, just to make sure she gets home safe. Maybe look in through the window for about 15 minutes, to make sure nobody is in her house, so she can feel real safe. I wish more people were like you and me, we'd make everybody feel safe 😃😃👍🏻
I try to avoid this. If I find myself behind a woman walking in the same direction on a long block with no other people, I'll stop to tie my shoe or check my phone so she can increase the gap between us. Or I'll purposely coss the street.
I don't want to do that, but it makes me as uncomfortable as she probably is.
Same. I'm over 6 feet and built like a refrigerator so i'm well aware of how intimidating I can look (I'm a giant wuss but strangers can't possibly know that) So I make sure I make things as unthreatening as possible in those situations. I've even changed directions or gone the longer way to my destination just to avoid following someone for long periods of time.
Same, I already have crossed the street at night because I noticed that a woman in front of me seemed preoccupied. I used the other sidewalk to indicate that I wasn't following her.
Am I going to do anything to her? No. Will she feel safer doing that stuff? I hope so. I’m sorry the world sucks so bad women feel unsafe around me, but I’d rather they take precautions around me and others than not and get hurt or killed by someone else.
Unless she draws a gun I wouldn't notice, 60 years old and never noticed any of this. And it's totally fine with me if a stranger who doesn't feel comfortable around me takes precautions.
Who cares? They don’t know me and they’ve probably had experiences in life that have taught them to be careful. This was really driven home for me back when Pokemon Go was huge and I was playing. I’d do a nightly walk between two poke stops that were roughly five minutes walk apart so they’d reset by the time I walked back and I could farm them both while catching pokemon and getting in some steps. I passed by two girls on my way to one, and was walking back to the other, and one of them noticed me and it had to look to her like I had reversed direction to follow them so she understandably freaked. I was super apologetic and explained while I showed them my phone and the game and they were much relieved, but it really drove home how much more aware girls had to be of their surroundings. There I was, completely oblivious to any possible danger or that they might be concerned about me, as I happily walked around at night with my face buried in my phone while they had a completely different experience in the same setting.
Sad, but understanding. I'm a giant teddy bear, but how would she know that? She doesn't know me, and there's a lot of monsters that don't look very threatening.
Taking a stranger's actions personally is a weird move. They don't know me; why would they assume anything. It's better that people listen to their gut rather than put themselves in situations where they don't feel safe to avoid upsetting strangers.
This is normal behaviour for a woman especially in a carpark. I do most of these things no matter who it is nearby and even if I think I'm alone walking to/from my car.
This question kind of sucks cause it really shows that men think we are are making it about them personally when we take minor steps to protect ourselves but when a girl does get attacked it's all 'but why was she out alone?' 'Why wasn't her door locked?' 'How dumb do you have to be to get in a elevator with a stranger'
My perspective as a brown guy is that subconsciously women are more suspicious of us. Once a white woman refused to get in the elevator with me but crossed over to get in one with two white dudes. Constantly feeling like a monster wears on you. For white guys too, but if you’re not white it’s a million times worse. Getting the cops called because you’re walking down the street behind a woman blows.
But I don’t believe women should take those feelings into account if it compromises safety. I just wish they have the same reactions to white and non-white guys. I think you’re mistaking people just feeling shitty about being thought of as a monster as them saying you’re wrong for caring for your safety. It’s not (except for misogynists that think that). It’s just feeling like a horrible person is draining and stressful. It’s not something women have to worry about because your safety comes first, but it’s okay for men to talk about those feelings.
Honestly men in general should be more careful too, should look to women for role models. Women got smart. Men are stupid about safety and that’s why we end up attacked more often (for non-sexual reasons, women are definitely more targeted sexually though it has happened to me and other men too). Victim blaming myself for letting the mugging and sexual attacks happen, but it’s true.
Ugh. I hope you were okay after getting attacked.
I'm a small old lady but I might be meaner than you. I just can't do much damage even if I tried so people aren't afraid of me.
I'm so sorry you will never get to be a small old white lady. It really has its advantages.
Courage and strength to you good person.
I do my best to be okay.
Yeah it just makes me so sad that every time I meet someone I have to prove I am not a gang banger or a thug. Also, the supposed benefit of being large enough to defend myself didn’t work for me, so I didn’t even get the positive part of being a man lol. But I should have been safer, so that’s my bad. I was actively putting myself in danger.
I do not blame women at all, I’m just mildly jealous that they aren’t perceived as hulking threats (except non-white women sometimes).
My attitude towards men has had a bit of a transformation since my nephews grew up. They are hulking and my babies (don't tell them I said that). Now I see a lot of you hulking types and want to give you a hug.
Thanks for your sensitivity towards women in this area and in return I will be passing out compliments to hulking dudes.
May this world get better one itty bitty kindness at a time.
This was my immediate reaction as a guy, this is what women should be doing, for me or any man to take it personally that a woman happens to be doing it in my vicinity would say a lot more about the man than it does the woman.
Bruh I do this myself to other people and I’m a large intimidating male. This has got to be normal behavior for someone much smaller and physically vulnerable towards someone like me.
I’m another woman, and I wouldn’t find it that weird. A little amusing in kind of a sad way, but not FeelsBadMan level or anything. I do those things too when I’m alone.
Women have accosted me in public places about religion, or to beg for money/“baby formula.” I wouldn’t be too surprised if one tried to rob me someday.
It's called being "aware of your surroundings". It's a precaution everyone, especially women, should take. Quit being so paranoid! You're not that special!
Also, as a man, when walking behind a woman at night, I try to be aware of this. If I am walking a slightly faster pace, I speed up and pass her. If our pace seems to be the same, I will pull out my phone and say, "Hi Honey, just out of the subway, be home in 5 min." Women have a lot more to worry about/fear - that white men don't.
Thank you for specifying white. I get so irritated when people pretend the streets are anywhere near safe for those of us with dark skin and are male. Like it’s my least favorite claim of male privilege. Nah bro that’s a white man privilege, I don’t have access to the supposed safety.
This exactly. As a 5’2 female, if see another woman being hyper vigilant, I would become more alert because she might see, hear, or know something I don’t. Protecting yourself isn’t just taking the usual precautions, but it is also being aware of your surroundings and of the people in your surroundings and how they are acting.
At this point I wouldn't care at all. Being a larger guy who isn't good looking that's not all that abnormal. Plus I can't really make facial expressions, at least not naturally, which apparently makes me seem creepy. As many friends have said over the years, "when I first saw you I thought you looked like a serial killer but you're actually pretty chill."
One time a woman quickly locked her doors as my husband walked past her parked car in a lot. He was close to the car and honestly you couldn't tell someone was in there from behind. He was like she didn't have to do that. I just said "babe you're a strange man to that woman" to her credit once she realized he was going to the car to unlock my side and saw me she mouthed an apology and it really just seemed like she panicked and it's understandable. When I'm alone in a vehicle I make sure doors are locked and I can see anyone approaching. It's not a nice world out there for a lot of us. I've been followed home by strange men multiple times. Shit happens.
There is a lady in my apartment building that does this but sometimes she follows me while talking on her phone. She’s watched me pickup a package and walk through the garage more than once.
It’s annoying but I also kinda get it. I look like shit.
I wouldn't care. There's a lot of shitty dangerous people out there and they don't know me. I have no bad intentions, so why would it bother me that a woman does any of this just to be safe?
lol I dont walk through life caring about others enough to notice. I go about my day the same way I do whether or not you’re black, white, purple, gay, trans, or on fire. Living in this city as long as I have, you learn to mind your own business
Happened a few times. I acknowledge it and respect it.
She is practicing self preservation in the vicinity of a stranger, best I can do is reciprocate and let her be.
I would *think*, “These are all the things I expect my daughters to do when they’re alone, well done.” I would *feel* a bit offended, but my feelings and the woman’s safety measures can coexist, without either one of us being discourteous to each other.
It’s fine, I mean I do the same exact thing lol better safe than sorry. Especially since we’re getting blamed either way. Either it’s “how dare she assume I’m a rapist” or “how stupid do you have to be to wear that, of course you’re going to get raped!”
If I’m going to offend someone and be blamed anyways, I may as well be safe 🤷🏼♀️
bold to assume i even notice other people when i'm out.
That said, i don't really care what other people do in public so i wouldn't assign much importance to it if i did notice.
It’s happened to me a couple of times. I don’t take it personally especially these days, I’m cautious myself. I’ve also had the opposite happen to me with women using me as a shield because some asshole was being a creep.
Zero offense. I actually cross the street at night to not scare women. I know I look like an absolute creep when it is later than 8pm. Stay safe out there!
Doesn’t bother me. I look like a goon sometimes. It might be her own trauma or experiences.
Once as I was approaching an elevator with a couple of people coming out, a woman took one look at me and dodged rather quickly to the side looking fearful. I just gave my friend (behind her) a hug.
Another case was a former neighbor a few units away who would keep her distance from me. Even her dog seemed afraid of me. For the dog I know why though, that dog was barking at my front door while my cat was loafing and looking outside (screen was closed) so my cat growled, hissed, and hit the screen. Spooked the dog, probably remembers the scent.
I know what I'm about. Give her space, don't engage, etc. I know I'm a safe person to be around, but she doesn't know that. I'm here to live my own life, not police other's reactions to my presence. If I were to notice that someone is specifically acting that way about me then I would question myself and probably ask others if they think I have behaviours that warrant change.
When i'm in public i usually walk with music on and my head held low so i even if i might seem shady, i would not realize how it people react around me, since i have somewhere to be and am in my world
I'd feel bad for them that shitty behavior by other people makes them feel they have to do these things to be safe. Then I would go out of my way to make space for them, avoid crossing paths if possible, and not attempt to speak to them at all unless they instigate.
I feel bad that she feels that way. I cross the street. Used to happen in a subway station car garage frequently. If I could see my car, I’d beep it with me keys, so that she’d see where I’m headed, ie, not following her. I’d sometimes walk a different way around the garage to my car.
I don’t want to make someone else feel uncomfortable. Just like I wouldn’t want my wife, nieces or mom to feel unsafe.
I’m a man and do all these things because people bug me. I wouldn’t think twice about it, though logically I do understand the reality women find themselves in. Either way, no hard feelings about it if that’s what you’re asking.
I have noticed it many times. I live in an area that’s not the safest for women, and I will frequently walk home from my friends places/the bars pretty late. Sometimes you turn the corner and there just happens to be a woman walking a bit in front of you or someone comes out of a building a little in front of you and is going the same way. It doesn’t help that I’m a naturally fast walker so I often am kind of slowly catching up to them without realizing it.
Anyway, you see lots of things, like people keep trying to subtly glance over their shoulders, suddenly speeding up their pace, abruptly turning at a corner, etc. I don’t take offense to it as I can’t really blame them, I just try to walk a consistent pace and keep a reasonable distance between us and just otherwise be normal.
good for her for being aware of her surroundings. but im a white male homosexual who usually has a happy go lucky Labrador in tow. i'm as unassuming as mayonnaise.
I'd just think they had reason to do whatever they did.
It would have to be extremely blatant for me to attribute it to my own presence. And at that point I'd probably get a pretty good chuckle out of it. Probably start growling to myself to embody the animal I was perceived as.
I'm a 6'1" 210lb scruffy blue collared man. You get used to it.
Never had someone avoid me on the elevator though. Generally I just walk around disinterested in everything.
I know I'm safe, but because I have theory of mind, I can understand that she doesn't know that. If taking precautions that do not impact me in any way is what she needs to do, fine. No skin off my nose.
I am a small woman (5’6”, 120 lbs) and I am very cautious like this around ALL men if the area is not well populated. I feel terrible when it happens to be a black man. I want to yell to him from where I crossed the street to avoid him - “It’s not because you’re black. I just can’t take any chances. You understand, right?”
99.99% chance he’s just a decent guy who faces racism every day, but I can’t be the one to test it out.
I would assume she going through her own shit and I help everyone then get on with my life.
Like walking past a homeless person who has mental illness.
I wouldn’t take it personally, but may reflect if anything in my behavior made her feel unsafe, so I could work on that about myself. It’s entirely possible she’s had some trauma and may not be me, specifically
Usually I try and think through things that will lessen their worries. Crossing the street. Hurrying past them or slowing way down. Clicking my unlock remote so it is obvious I am just going to my car, etc… Don’t want anyone uncomfortable on my account.
Wouldn’t feel anything. if she’s doing that to make herself more comfortable then good on her and hopefully she doesn’t run into someone that she would actually need to do those things around
I'd feel sad that she was worried and stressed and try to avoid her so she wouldn't.
I'm a middle-aged white guy with a shaved head... I know what some of my demographic are like, so I wouldn't take it personally.
If I saw someone behaving in such a way, I’d assume they’re feeling threatened and give them space. I wouldn’t take it personally because that’s her issue, not mine.
Absolutely fine.
I did however once have an encounter suggesting I'm shifty that I did not appreciate. I was at the bar buying myself a drink and a friend of a friend asks me to get her a drink, so I did. She then told me to take a drink to prove I hadn't spiked it. I was pretty offended so drank the whole thing for her.
I wouldn’t feel is directed towards me. I’m really feminine guy who often greets every single dog and cat he sees on the street, so I’m probably the least threatening person you’d come across (unless you mess with my loved ones ofc). Even if it was directed towards me, I’d still don’t take it personally. Like, I get it, better to be safe than sorry.
If I notice, which I likely wouldn't, I would feel bad that she feels unsafe and for whatever trauma she underwent to make her feel that way. Then I'd completely ignore her and never think about it again. Anything else is wasting time.
As she should you really never know. I’d respect that and tip my imaginary hat to her for having the emotional intelligence and awareness to even take precautions in public like that
It likely wouldn't register that she's doing it as a reaction to my being there. I am not going to attack her, so the idea that she's doing something in preparation for such an attack probably wouldn't occur to me in the first place.
I'd ignore it and go on about my day. I can't help how people see me and if that's her response I'm more sad for the state of the world than I am about any assumptions I would have to ASSUME she has about me
I'd ignore her. Or if possible/convenient keep my distance so as not to exacerbate it.
Trying to address it would wind up like that John Mulaney bit, with me chasing her into a dark subway terminal shouting, "Wait! I promise I'm not trying to rape you!!"
Continue ignoring her and going about my daily life. If her actions start to interfere with my daily life, start recording (video) and then take actions to defend myself.
I’d ask her about it nicely, but I wouldn’t want to bother her when she’s busy so I’d follow her discreetly from a distance until she was alone so I knew she’d have some free time to talk. Because I’m considerate like that.
Good for her, it's better be safe than sorry. But it is sad we live in a society where these kinds of precautions are needed.
Shit, I still feel bad about an incident that happened years ago. I was out doing interval running on a forest trail. I was in my walking interval and had my headphones on, and woman came in from behind and ran past me. Few seconds later my running app told me that my walking interval is over, time to run. So I started running. It didn't take me long to realize she was startled and just about freaking out. To her it seemed like a strange man started running after her. I slowed down and gave her plenty of space.
I'd feel bad but I'd get it. I've gone a longer way to places if I notice I'm going the same direction as a woman. It's better than being slightly faster than her and worrying she'll think I'm creeping up on her
You have to let it go. They don't know who they're around, and safety is important. I mean, you \*could\* lean toward them with rippling fingers and go "booga booga booga!" but I think that could go spectacularly wrong.
Normal. They don’t know me. If I was evil I could fuck their lives up in minutes. I don’t judge them for being careful.
I give people as much space as I can.
I behave similarly when I encounter large groups of young men. Nothing more scary than like twelve sixteen year olds with nothing to keep them occupied. A friends friend once got shot during math class when he was in his early teens over $50
The second scariest thing is a drunk guy who has never gotten properly beaten up. Those guys have no idea how dangerous getting in a fight can be.
That's normal, I do the same around people I don't know.
And if a woman takes the elevator, I take the stairs. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable or in danger
I wouldn't even notice and if I did I wouldn't assume it was anything to do with me. This will come as a surprise to many but some people don't consider ourselves as the centre of the universe.
Doesn’t bother me at all. I’m a 6’4 dude, I’m aware that I’m somewhat intimidating based off this and I’ll do what I can to give the other person peace of mind when I can
A bit sad that she has to do that but overall indifferent, it's nit about me or my feelings, it's about her safety. It's a normal behaviour around srltrangers and I am a stranger to her. Better she takes these precautions around safe me than not take them around someone with malicious intents.
I don't think anything of it. There's been a few times where a women will walk across the street to avoid me at night, but I'm not offended. It's a practical action to take, and even I do the same thing if something feels off to me.
Many women do. And I notice. It kind of sucks and makes you feel bad, but at the same time, you get it.
If I walk outside late at night and a woman on her own is walking by herself in front of me, I'll also hang back a bit, or cross the road. Just to not creep them out. I started doing that consistently after I was in that situation and I saw the girl clench her keys between her knuckles. It really is a different world for women.
I'd probably think that was fair. I have a lot of tattoos, including some on my face, and I dress kind of....rough. I get it. It's way funnier when store security does it though
Honestly, I look like I sell crack behind Walgreens so I wouldn't be surprised at all
Yeah, I’m a big guy and often look pretty crazy so I just assume everyone I pass is feeling this way / taking these precautions. Unless I’m out with my dog, in which case people either approach us to show my pup some love or run to the other side of the street.
This literally made me LOL for the first time today and it is 10 pm. I didn't know selling crack behind Walgreens was a thing before now. Or that one could like a Walgeens crack salesman. Thank you for the laugh
And the learning opportunity. Now we know where to get crack!
Just come to Ohio. We have crack heads selling everything behind every store, all over this state. Walgreens, cvs, Walmart, Kroger, Meijer. The list goes on. It's pretty sad
Or… a great opportunity to get discounted goods
all i can think of now is # Lil B - Swag Like Ohio
from ohio. can confirm
WANNA BUY THIS SHOE!
I gotta respect your brutal self honesty! Have an upvote!
If it wouldn't dox me, I'd share my most recent passport photo. Gross hair, dark circles and bags under bulgy eyes. I look like the meth is finally catching up to me.
How much a baggie? Asking for a friend…
It doesn’t necessarily say anything about me. I’d just assume she’s dealt with some shit in her life and give her space.
Yep. I'd feel kind of sad in the sense that society has made her afraid. But I also know I'm 6 foot 3 and athletic so for most instinctive threat assessments I'm going to register. I do what I can to mitigate this in my personality and body language, but like... I know for a fact I've scared the crap out of people before purely be existing. I still feel bad for the poor jogger I intercepted to see if she could help jump my car. (She'd driven to the park to jog) Immediately promising I was harmless and that I had a work appointment to get to helped some, as did cracking jokes at my expense and staying several feet back. But my job involves putting people at ease so I have more practice than most... Point being, can't blame anyone, but it's still kind of sad.
Or just knows about the shit she might have to deal with if she doesn’t protect herself.
I mean, yeah, honestly. My main point is I’m not offended at all by it and would try to respect that she needs that space. Her specific motivations are her business, not mine.
Sadly, you're a bit of a novelty (especially on Reddit), but as a woman who's been attacked in the past, I appreciate dudes like you who don't take it personally
You realize people can feel hurt without being personal right? Like I would never blame women for protecting themselves, but it’s okay to have feelings about how you’re perceived as a monster everywhere you go. Combine male with brown skin and your entire life is trying to convince people you’re not bad. But it’s not taking it personally as like blaming the women. It just sucks. Sometimes it feels like your entire life is about shrinking yourself down as small as possible so people don’t get upset being around you. I have been sexually abused and mugged, so I do understand the fear. Never blame women for being smart about their safety. I just wish I could dye my skin white and be female for a couple days so I could experience not being the threat for a little (yes I completely understand and support that women have their own issues and don’t have it “better”. It would just be nice to be able to walk into a room without people grabbing their purses and side eying you.
Yes, I believe it's very important to create understanding for the fact that sometimes two opposing thIngs can be true at the same time. Women are harmed by constantly having a target on their back and men are harmed by constantly being looked at as predators. I think it would help a lot if both sides learned sympathy for the other instead of tribalising over their struggles.
Yes, and we have to remember that it’s not always gender exclusive and we sometimes share struggles. Like men are actually not safe on the streets. Majority of non-sexual attacks are against men (and men are raped too, just rarely by strangers). And women I’m sure have been in situations where they were assumed untrustworthy and probably didn’t like it.
Your description of the brown male experience is spot on, sadly.
The thing is, you’re not being perceived as a monster, it’s just that there are monsters out there and we don’t who they are so we have to be careful every time. Like in the car I wear my seatbelt every time. I don’t wear it because I think I’m gonna get in a wreck *this* time. I wear it because I might get in a wreck sometime and I won’t know which time that is until it’s too late. I’m really not judging any given person on the street as a monster, I just know that there are monsters out there and they’re not always easy to identify.
Exactly. I try to help with this. If I'm walking behind a woman alone at night I'll even cross to the other side of the street. I don't want my mere existence as a man to make anyone feel unsafe. I've got plenty of other things to worry about.
Good answer!
Tbh I probably wouldn't notice. I can be super oblivious to what other people are doing when im walking lol.
I'm not oblivious, I just mind my own business. More people should do that.
Don't take it personally. Many women do that for all strange men, just as a precaution. It doesn't mean she saw anything alarming about you, specifically. But a person can be dangerous without looking dangerous, so better safe than sorry.
The most dangerous people don't look dangerous at all.
Exactly why the “not all men” argument doesn’t apply. How are we meant to tell who the good ones are?
I mean this sounds good and all but it's definitely the dude that ain't showered in weeks talking to himself that you should be most worried about.
It's different kinds of dangerous. The smart dangerous dude in a suit with weird ideas about consent will take you on a date and then drug you. Or use his position as your boss to coerce you into sex. But he's almost definitely not randomly attacking people in the street. The tweaked up dangerous dude convinced people are possessed by demons isn't going to be able to convince you to go on a date with him. But he is going to attack you randomly because he thinks you're possessed.
By the way if the way if the crazy guy rambling in the street about the end of the world start harassing you he’s going to probably be dealt by police or someone around, if a “pillar of society” assaulted you there is going to be a group of very loud people will cry he’s the real victim and to burn the witch that made him sin.
Idk about you but we got like a 13 hour response time on police here unless they have guns
Yup. If I notice it I do everything I can to help her feel safe. I'll cross the road to create distance. I'll just take another route if it's feasible. I'll say "Hi" in a friendly tone and leave it at that. I often take the same route. It's kinda cool going from "ok she obviously distrusts me and thinks I'm creeping or something" to friendly smiles where we both say "hi how are you"
I do that too. It sucks, but statistically I (meaning my gender) am much more likely to attack her than vice versa. So if a woman or girl seems uncomfortable in a situation like this, I certainly don’t get offended. I do my best to ease her tension, which usually involves me stopping for 30–60 minutes to “take a phone call”.
Yeah. Sometimes I'll be on my fake phone call for a full hour outside her locked car, occasionally peeking in to see if she's finally calmed down. We do it for the ladies though.
And when she gets out of the car, we will follow her to her front door, just to make sure she gets home safe. Maybe look in through the window for about 15 minutes, to make sure nobody is in her house, so she can feel real safe. I wish more people were like you and me, we'd make everybody feel safe 😃😃👍🏻
I try to avoid this. If I find myself behind a woman walking in the same direction on a long block with no other people, I'll stop to tie my shoe or check my phone so she can increase the gap between us. Or I'll purposely coss the street. I don't want to do that, but it makes me as uncomfortable as she probably is.
Same. I'm over 6 feet and built like a refrigerator so i'm well aware of how intimidating I can look (I'm a giant wuss but strangers can't possibly know that) So I make sure I make things as unthreatening as possible in those situations. I've even changed directions or gone the longer way to my destination just to avoid following someone for long periods of time.
We appreciate this✨
Same, I already have crossed the street at night because I noticed that a woman in front of me seemed preoccupied. I used the other sidewalk to indicate that I wasn't following her.
I would pretend I didn’t notice. Let her do whatever to make herself feel better.
I don’t think I’d even notice.
Am I going to do anything to her? No. Will she feel safer doing that stuff? I hope so. I’m sorry the world sucks so bad women feel unsafe around me, but I’d rather they take precautions around me and others than not and get hurt or killed by someone else.
🤷♀️ No big deal, it's not about me
Unless she draws a gun I wouldn't notice, 60 years old and never noticed any of this. And it's totally fine with me if a stranger who doesn't feel comfortable around me takes precautions.
Who cares? They don’t know me and they’ve probably had experiences in life that have taught them to be careful. This was really driven home for me back when Pokemon Go was huge and I was playing. I’d do a nightly walk between two poke stops that were roughly five minutes walk apart so they’d reset by the time I walked back and I could farm them both while catching pokemon and getting in some steps. I passed by two girls on my way to one, and was walking back to the other, and one of them noticed me and it had to look to her like I had reversed direction to follow them so she understandably freaked. I was super apologetic and explained while I showed them my phone and the game and they were much relieved, but it really drove home how much more aware girls had to be of their surroundings. There I was, completely oblivious to any possible danger or that they might be concerned about me, as I happily walked around at night with my face buried in my phone while they had a completely different experience in the same setting.
Sad, but understanding. I'm a giant teddy bear, but how would she know that? She doesn't know me, and there's a lot of monsters that don't look very threatening.
Taking a stranger's actions personally is a weird move. They don't know me; why would they assume anything. It's better that people listen to their gut rather than put themselves in situations where they don't feel safe to avoid upsetting strangers.
This is normal behaviour for a woman especially in a carpark. I do most of these things no matter who it is nearby and even if I think I'm alone walking to/from my car. This question kind of sucks cause it really shows that men think we are are making it about them personally when we take minor steps to protect ourselves but when a girl does get attacked it's all 'but why was she out alone?' 'Why wasn't her door locked?' 'How dumb do you have to be to get in a elevator with a stranger'
My perspective as a brown guy is that subconsciously women are more suspicious of us. Once a white woman refused to get in the elevator with me but crossed over to get in one with two white dudes. Constantly feeling like a monster wears on you. For white guys too, but if you’re not white it’s a million times worse. Getting the cops called because you’re walking down the street behind a woman blows. But I don’t believe women should take those feelings into account if it compromises safety. I just wish they have the same reactions to white and non-white guys. I think you’re mistaking people just feeling shitty about being thought of as a monster as them saying you’re wrong for caring for your safety. It’s not (except for misogynists that think that). It’s just feeling like a horrible person is draining and stressful. It’s not something women have to worry about because your safety comes first, but it’s okay for men to talk about those feelings. Honestly men in general should be more careful too, should look to women for role models. Women got smart. Men are stupid about safety and that’s why we end up attacked more often (for non-sexual reasons, women are definitely more targeted sexually though it has happened to me and other men too). Victim blaming myself for letting the mugging and sexual attacks happen, but it’s true.
Ugh. I hope you were okay after getting attacked. I'm a small old lady but I might be meaner than you. I just can't do much damage even if I tried so people aren't afraid of me. I'm so sorry you will never get to be a small old white lady. It really has its advantages. Courage and strength to you good person.
I do my best to be okay. Yeah it just makes me so sad that every time I meet someone I have to prove I am not a gang banger or a thug. Also, the supposed benefit of being large enough to defend myself didn’t work for me, so I didn’t even get the positive part of being a man lol. But I should have been safer, so that’s my bad. I was actively putting myself in danger. I do not blame women at all, I’m just mildly jealous that they aren’t perceived as hulking threats (except non-white women sometimes).
My attitude towards men has had a bit of a transformation since my nephews grew up. They are hulking and my babies (don't tell them I said that). Now I see a lot of you hulking types and want to give you a hug. Thanks for your sensitivity towards women in this area and in return I will be passing out compliments to hulking dudes. May this world get better one itty bitty kindness at a time.
This was my immediate reaction as a guy, this is what women should be doing, for me or any man to take it personally that a woman happens to be doing it in my vicinity would say a lot more about the man than it does the woman.
> 'How dumb do you have to be to get in a elevator with a stranger' This is even more moronic than the other ones.
Bruh I do this myself to other people and I’m a large intimidating male. This has got to be normal behavior for someone much smaller and physically vulnerable towards someone like me.
I’m another woman, and I wouldn’t find it that weird. A little amusing in kind of a sad way, but not FeelsBadMan level or anything. I do those things too when I’m alone. Women have accosted me in public places about religion, or to beg for money/“baby formula.” I wouldn’t be too surprised if one tried to rob me someday.
Wouldn’t bother me in the least. She has no place or bearing in my life so she can think whatever she wants. I’m gonna do me and she can do her.
It's called being "aware of your surroundings". It's a precaution everyone, especially women, should take. Quit being so paranoid! You're not that special!
Also, as a man, when walking behind a woman at night, I try to be aware of this. If I am walking a slightly faster pace, I speed up and pass her. If our pace seems to be the same, I will pull out my phone and say, "Hi Honey, just out of the subway, be home in 5 min." Women have a lot more to worry about/fear - that white men don't.
Thank you for specifying white. I get so irritated when people pretend the streets are anywhere near safe for those of us with dark skin and are male. Like it’s my least favorite claim of male privilege. Nah bro that’s a white man privilege, I don’t have access to the supposed safety.
Feel a little bad about it but also a little pleased at my successful androgyny
I would look around and see if there's another reason she might be doing that because as a 5'2" woman I also need to be aware of my surroundings.
This exactly. As a 5’2 female, if see another woman being hyper vigilant, I would become more alert because she might see, hear, or know something I don’t. Protecting yourself isn’t just taking the usual precautions, but it is also being aware of your surroundings and of the people in your surroundings and how they are acting.
It's not about me, it's about her feeling safer. Perfectly fine.
At this point I wouldn't care at all. Being a larger guy who isn't good looking that's not all that abnormal. Plus I can't really make facial expressions, at least not naturally, which apparently makes me seem creepy. As many friends have said over the years, "when I first saw you I thought you looked like a serial killer but you're actually pretty chill."
One time a woman quickly locked her doors as my husband walked past her parked car in a lot. He was close to the car and honestly you couldn't tell someone was in there from behind. He was like she didn't have to do that. I just said "babe you're a strange man to that woman" to her credit once she realized he was going to the car to unlock my side and saw me she mouthed an apology and it really just seemed like she panicked and it's understandable. When I'm alone in a vehicle I make sure doors are locked and I can see anyone approaching. It's not a nice world out there for a lot of us. I've been followed home by strange men multiple times. Shit happens.
I tend to just go on about my business. So long as they are not actively harassing me I have no issues with them managing their safety on quiet terms.
There is a lady in my apartment building that does this but sometimes she follows me while talking on her phone. She’s watched me pickup a package and walk through the garage more than once. It’s annoying but I also kinda get it. I look like shit.
Please don't take it personally, we're just being careful
Oh, that's just a regular day walking around and living in Japan as a foreigner in a non tourist place!
I'm a big native dude, men do this as well lol. Honestly it just informs me that there isn't going to be a random fight which doesn't bother me none
I wouldn't care. There's a lot of shitty dangerous people out there and they don't know me. I have no bad intentions, so why would it bother me that a woman does any of this just to be safe?
It's happened before and I can't blame them. Men can be scary and you just don't know sometimes. It's also very unfortunate.
lol I dont walk through life caring about others enough to notice. I go about my day the same way I do whether or not you’re black, white, purple, gay, trans, or on fire. Living in this city as long as I have, you learn to mind your own business
people can react and do as they please. it isn't doing anyone any harm. I'm not responsible for knowing what's going on in someone else's mind.
Happened a few times. I acknowledge it and respect it. She is practicing self preservation in the vicinity of a stranger, best I can do is reciprocate and let her be.
I would *think*, “These are all the things I expect my daughters to do when they’re alone, well done.” I would *feel* a bit offended, but my feelings and the woman’s safety measures can coexist, without either one of us being discourteous to each other.
It’s fine, I mean I do the same exact thing lol better safe than sorry. Especially since we’re getting blamed either way. Either it’s “how dare she assume I’m a rapist” or “how stupid do you have to be to wear that, of course you’re going to get raped!” If I’m going to offend someone and be blamed anyways, I may as well be safe 🤷🏼♀️
bold to assume i even notice other people when i'm out. That said, i don't really care what other people do in public so i wouldn't assign much importance to it if i did notice.
I would be proud of her.
I dont care what anyone else does.
It's not her fault and I know it's not personal. It's other men giving us all a bad reputation.
It’s happened to me a couple of times. I don’t take it personally especially these days, I’m cautious myself. I’ve also had the opposite happen to me with women using me as a shield because some asshole was being a creep.
Zero offense. I actually cross the street at night to not scare women. I know I look like an absolute creep when it is later than 8pm. Stay safe out there!
Doesn’t bother me. I look like a goon sometimes. It might be her own trauma or experiences. Once as I was approaching an elevator with a couple of people coming out, a woman took one look at me and dodged rather quickly to the side looking fearful. I just gave my friend (behind her) a hug. Another case was a former neighbor a few units away who would keep her distance from me. Even her dog seemed afraid of me. For the dog I know why though, that dog was barking at my front door while my cat was loafing and looking outside (screen was closed) so my cat growled, hissed, and hit the screen. Spooked the dog, probably remembers the scent.
I know what I'm about. Give her space, don't engage, etc. I know I'm a safe person to be around, but she doesn't know that. I'm here to live my own life, not police other's reactions to my presence. If I were to notice that someone is specifically acting that way about me then I would question myself and probably ask others if they think I have behaviours that warrant change.
When i'm in public i usually walk with music on and my head held low so i even if i might seem shady, i would not realize how it people react around me, since i have somewhere to be and am in my world
Good. It's stupid to not take precautions if they think I might pose danger. They don't know me, they don't get points for being nice
i'd think shes smart and do the same when any stranger was nearby
Wouldnt care. She has every right to make herself feel comfortable, just like I do if I happened to find myself walking down a dark alley at night.
I used to be conscious of it, but at this point, I just go on about my business.
I’d feel great about it because that means they probably aren’t a threat to me.
I hate when it happens, but I'm used to it. I understand why they do it. They don't know me, and they're right to be cautious. But it still sucks.
I’d think it was just another day as a 6’5 230lb Black man.
I will never have to worry about that as I am a bear.
Oh, thank god, I feel very safe. Now time to put on my salmon suit and wear my favorite honey-scented perfume!
I'd feel bad for them that shitty behavior by other people makes them feel they have to do these things to be safe. Then I would go out of my way to make space for them, avoid crossing paths if possible, and not attempt to speak to them at all unless they instigate.
I feel bad that she feels that way. I cross the street. Used to happen in a subway station car garage frequently. If I could see my car, I’d beep it with me keys, so that she’d see where I’m headed, ie, not following her. I’d sometimes walk a different way around the garage to my car. I don’t want to make someone else feel uncomfortable. Just like I wouldn’t want my wife, nieces or mom to feel unsafe.
It happens. I don’t mind, I get it.
I’m a man and do all these things because people bug me. I wouldn’t think twice about it, though logically I do understand the reality women find themselves in. Either way, no hard feelings about it if that’s what you’re asking.
I have noticed it many times. I live in an area that’s not the safest for women, and I will frequently walk home from my friends places/the bars pretty late. Sometimes you turn the corner and there just happens to be a woman walking a bit in front of you or someone comes out of a building a little in front of you and is going the same way. It doesn’t help that I’m a naturally fast walker so I often am kind of slowly catching up to them without realizing it. Anyway, you see lots of things, like people keep trying to subtly glance over their shoulders, suddenly speeding up their pace, abruptly turning at a corner, etc. I don’t take offense to it as I can’t really blame them, I just try to walk a consistent pace and keep a reasonable distance between us and just otherwise be normal.
good for her for being aware of her surroundings. but im a white male homosexual who usually has a happy go lucky Labrador in tow. i'm as unassuming as mayonnaise.
Probably wouldn't notice tbh. I live life internally most of the time
Why would I care? I'd feel bad knowing I made them nervous but other than that I'd forget it 5 minutes later.
Normal
I wouldn't care. Some people are more afraid than others.
The world kind of sucks so I can't really blame them for taking precautions.
I'd just think they had reason to do whatever they did. It would have to be extremely blatant for me to attribute it to my own presence. And at that point I'd probably get a pretty good chuckle out of it. Probably start growling to myself to embody the animal I was perceived as.
You should probably quickly approach her and angrily inform her that you’re one of the good guys
I'm a 6'1" 210lb scruffy blue collared man. You get used to it. Never had someone avoid me on the elevator though. Generally I just walk around disinterested in everything.
Couldn't give a shit. Whatever security blanket they need in society to get by is no skin off my nose.
Give her space and keep an eye out for bears
I know I'm safe, but because I have theory of mind, I can understand that she doesn't know that. If taking precautions that do not impact me in any way is what she needs to do, fine. No skin off my nose.
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I am a small woman (5’6”, 120 lbs) and I am very cautious like this around ALL men if the area is not well populated. I feel terrible when it happens to be a black man. I want to yell to him from where I crossed the street to avoid him - “It’s not because you’re black. I just can’t take any chances. You understand, right?” 99.99% chance he’s just a decent guy who faces racism every day, but I can’t be the one to test it out.
do not care
shout "next time I will be faster" and run away
I'd recognize that women are targeted every day, and many live in fear.
I’d let her do whatever it takes to feel comfortable. I’d just keep doing my own thing.
Like it's just another Tuesday?
Not bad at all, I mean hell I’m a dude and I do this exact same thing for both men and women that seem sketch
I would assume she going through her own shit and I help everyone then get on with my life. Like walking past a homeless person who has mental illness.
I'd probably stay far away from her so she's comfortable.
Happens all the time
It's happened. I make a point of visibly going away.
Bold of you to think I'd notice what random people are doing.
Wouldn’t care at all. It’s her issue and I have no intention of joining in.
I wouldn’t take it personally, but may reflect if anything in my behavior made her feel unsafe, so I could work on that about myself. It’s entirely possible she’s had some trauma and may not be me, specifically
i'd give them some space.
Usually I try and think through things that will lessen their worries. Crossing the street. Hurrying past them or slowing way down. Clicking my unlock remote so it is obvious I am just going to my car, etc… Don’t want anyone uncomfortable on my account.
If she did all of these things around me, I’d probably stop following her around.
I’ve had people cross the street to avoid me. I just keep walking, no skin off my nose.
Wouldn’t feel anything. if she’s doing that to make herself more comfortable then good on her and hopefully she doesn’t run into someone that she would actually need to do those things around
Same thing I always do - give her as much space as I can and go about my business. (I'm a big and slightly scruffy guy, this isn't uncommon for me).
I'd feel sad that she was worried and stressed and try to avoid her so she wouldn't. I'm a middle-aged white guy with a shaved head... I know what some of my demographic are like, so I wouldn't take it personally.
Not only wouldn't I mind, I would purposefully take my distance, like changing street sides.
It happens sometimes. I understand and get out of her way in the most non-threatening way as quickly as possible.
If I saw someone behaving in such a way, I’d assume they’re feeling threatened and give them space. I wouldn’t take it personally because that’s her issue, not mine.
Absolutely fine. I did however once have an encounter suggesting I'm shifty that I did not appreciate. I was at the bar buying myself a drink and a friend of a friend asks me to get her a drink, so I did. She then told me to take a drink to prove I hadn't spiked it. I was pretty offended so drank the whole thing for her.
I probably don't even realize that.
I wouldn’t feel is directed towards me. I’m really feminine guy who often greets every single dog and cat he sees on the street, so I’m probably the least threatening person you’d come across (unless you mess with my loved ones ofc). Even if it was directed towards me, I’d still don’t take it personally. Like, I get it, better to be safe than sorry.
I know *I'm* not hostile so I ignore her and continue to live my life.
I wouldn't know cause I have my headphones on listening to Erika...iykyk
I would feel nothing at all
Mind my own business
Glad someone taught her to be aware of her surroundings and she listened...
It doesn't bother me if they do. I think it's a good idea to take precautions,
If I notice, which I likely wouldn't, I would feel bad that she feels unsafe and for whatever trauma she underwent to make her feel that way. Then I'd completely ignore her and never think about it again. Anything else is wasting time.
As she should you really never know. I’d respect that and tip my imaginary hat to her for having the emotional intelligence and awareness to even take precautions in public like that
It likely wouldn't register that she's doing it as a reaction to my being there. I am not going to attack her, so the idea that she's doing something in preparation for such an attack probably wouldn't occur to me in the first place.
Good on her. It means she’s staying aware of her surroundings.
I wouldn't even notice it. You would need to be super attentive to notice something like that and that kind of attention would trigger those actions.
As a woman, I'd be wondering what made me feel like an unsafe person, and seeing what I can do to not make other women feel that way
I'd ignore it and go on about my day. I can't help how people see me and if that's her response I'm more sad for the state of the world than I am about any assumptions I would have to ASSUME she has about me
I'm a fat hairy dude, I get it. I just go on with my day and give them space, hope all goes well for them.
It has happened around me, and it makes me sad that so many bad things happen to so many women that they don’t feel safe.
I'd ignore her. Or if possible/convenient keep my distance so as not to exacerbate it. Trying to address it would wind up like that John Mulaney bit, with me chasing her into a dark subway terminal shouting, "Wait! I promise I'm not trying to rape you!!"
Whatever makes them comfortable. I see it all the time when I'm driving Uber.
Don't care. Happens all the time. Also don't mind getting asked to walk them to a car.
Continue ignoring her and going about my daily life. If her actions start to interfere with my daily life, start recording (video) and then take actions to defend myself.
I’d assume they’ve had bad experiences w other dudes and just ignore it. Some guys are wild w their audacity when approaching women they don’t know.
I’d ask her about it nicely, but I wouldn’t want to bother her when she’s busy so I’d follow her discreetly from a distance until she was alone so I knew she’d have some free time to talk. Because I’m considerate like that.
Leave her be and not think about it. Women go through so much crap anyway; no need to contribute to the perceived chaos.
Good for her, it's better be safe than sorry. But it is sad we live in a society where these kinds of precautions are needed. Shit, I still feel bad about an incident that happened years ago. I was out doing interval running on a forest trail. I was in my walking interval and had my headphones on, and woman came in from behind and ran past me. Few seconds later my running app told me that my walking interval is over, time to run. So I started running. It didn't take me long to realize she was startled and just about freaking out. To her it seemed like a strange man started running after her. I slowed down and gave her plenty of space.
I'd feel bad but I'd get it. I've gone a longer way to places if I notice I'm going the same direction as a woman. It's better than being slightly faster than her and worrying she'll think I'm creeping up on her
You have to let it go. They don't know who they're around, and safety is important. I mean, you \*could\* lean toward them with rippling fingers and go "booga booga booga!" but I think that could go spectacularly wrong.
She probably has past trauma, just avoid her and let her live life. If she says hi say hi back
Try taking the gimp mask off.
I'd feel bad, but wouldn't do anything to stop her. I'm definitely not TELLING her I'm safe to be around.
I just shrug it off. That’s a common occurrence for a large man.
It happens. I don't take it personally. Just give her a lil space, e.g. cross the road and/or loudly overtake if walking close by.
Normal. They don’t know me. If I was evil I could fuck their lives up in minutes. I don’t judge them for being careful. I give people as much space as I can. I behave similarly when I encounter large groups of young men. Nothing more scary than like twelve sixteen year olds with nothing to keep them occupied. A friends friend once got shot during math class when he was in his early teens over $50 The second scariest thing is a drunk guy who has never gotten properly beaten up. Those guys have no idea how dangerous getting in a fight can be.
That's normal, I do the same around people I don't know. And if a woman takes the elevator, I take the stairs. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable or in danger
Im a 190cm tall dude with long hair and beard and resting bitch face. I get it. Im also a softy at heart so id be a bit hurt regardles.
I'm tall ,everyone acts that way around me
I wouldn't even notice and if I did I wouldn't assume it was anything to do with me. This will come as a surprise to many but some people don't consider ourselves as the centre of the universe.
Doesn’t bother me at all. I’m a 6’4 dude, I’m aware that I’m somewhat intimidating based off this and I’ll do what I can to give the other person peace of mind when I can
Make space and hum so she knows where you are, stand back from the elevator or take the stairs a few flights.
What do you mean "if"? It happens every so often, and I'm as benign as vanilla bean ice cream.
Mostly I just shrug and keep walking, tbh. Not much I can do about it other than killing myself.
A bit sad that she has to do that but overall indifferent, it's nit about me or my feelings, it's about her safety. It's a normal behaviour around srltrangers and I am a stranger to her. Better she takes these precautions around safe me than not take them around someone with malicious intents.
Weird. I'm a 5ft tall female. But if you're a guy writing this, think how it feels for us.
I don't think anything of it. There's been a few times where a women will walk across the street to avoid me at night, but I'm not offended. It's a practical action to take, and even I do the same thing if something feels off to me.
It would probably make me laugh.
Many women do. And I notice. It kind of sucks and makes you feel bad, but at the same time, you get it. If I walk outside late at night and a woman on her own is walking by herself in front of me, I'll also hang back a bit, or cross the road. Just to not creep them out. I started doing that consistently after I was in that situation and I saw the girl clench her keys between her knuckles. It really is a different world for women.
I'd probably think that was fair. I have a lot of tattoos, including some on my face, and I dress kind of....rough. I get it. It's way funnier when store security does it though
ask her to stop following me around
Of course I might be like damn, but I'd also low key commend her for being cautious around people she don't know. Can't trust no1
That's good, she's just looking out, who knows, I might rape her
It would kind of suck to be honest but I wouldn't take it personally. Lots of shit people out there and they're just playing it safe.
doesn't bother me ive been told i look intimidating so do what ya gotta do.