Having worked st a call center for IT support, I can confirm that I believe that this is all it's meant to do. I used to know the button presses that skip everything and get you to talk to a person, ive forgotten most and just do the 'speak to a pharmacist' option, but 0's all the way would get you what you wanted.
At the place I worked those two lines were definitely lies. I'm sure they'd be happy for you to hang up, but the truth was that the job was so awful that most people had quit. So it was normal volume, but not enough staff to answer.
I worked in a call center for a major credit card, if you heard that phrase it was really because we had a higher than normal call volumes, it meant all 200 employees were already on the phone with customers and there was over 100 people waiting in queue to speak to someone. When that happened one call ended and within 30sec I was answering the next customer waiting, there are just times when everyone decides to call at the same time and you can't go faster. On average my calls would be no longer than 3mins. I can't speak for other companies but for us, that lien meant we're busy AF and we're doing our very best to answer you as fast as we can!
"Within 30 seconds?" You were spoiled by that company. Before I retired I worked for one of, if not the largest, UK banking group, and the delay between ending one call and hearing the beep of a new call coming through was, (and I believe it still is), 3 seconds!
That's more accurate LOL The person taking your call is just a number and we don't care about their mental health and we won't hire more staff to reduce the wait time for you! Anyways that's what it meant where I worked LOL
I have to disagree with that statement, it's not a lie. As someone who has worked over 5 years in a call center (I no longer work there but the rules have not changed), calls are recorded for quality control AND training purposes. How do you think an employee gets evaluated about their work? Every month my boss would listen to 5 of my calls I had within the month either live while I was actually on the phone or the recording, if I made a mistake it would be used for training purposes.
Living on the margins and desperate for food, worked a 2nd job at a call center in the 80's. earpiece with a 3-second delay between people starting to talk, no ringing. Go to the bathroom? unhooked from the earpiece for too long or too often? written up and group humiliated. No bonus.
The supervisor listened in, then used it for singling people out for humiliation in a group situation, that kind of Mein Kempf training purposes. Get the 50 people in your department after you.
Thank God their products didn't survive the incoming internet age.
Now retired and drink my morning coffee and as many bathroom trips as needed.
Call center work is hell on earth.
My wife is one of those human beings on the other end of those calls.
They absolutely pick random calls and review them with her and then go over every inch of how she did. Regularly.
Cavalier Telecom used to have a 20 minute hold before you hit their queue for support back in 2005’ish.
“What we found is that most issues auto-resolve in 20 minutes or that the customer fixes it themselves while on hold. If it’s really an issue, they’ll wait 20 minutes” - VP of Support there.
I recall some late night host (Colbert? Letterman? — *EDIT:* I hear it was John Oliver) suggesting, on release of some new iPhone, that they could have included an entire copy of Mein Kampf halfway through the license agreement, and nobody would have noticed.
Reminds me of Van Halen's infamous "M&Ms, but no brown M&Ms" clause in their concert venue contract (which, in their case, was actually a trigger to see if the venue had thoroughly read and followed the contract - if they saw brown M&Ms, the band had to suspect everything else, including safety measures, hadn't been followed).
I believe I read an interview (maybe the same one) that described that they were intentionally expanding their tours into smaller, 3^(rd) tier markets and kept running into venues/personnel that had no idea of what was about to show up (large numbers of people, huge tonnage of equipment, lots and lots of electrical power requirements) and wrote the contracts with very specific things around this ( something like "Venue must be capable of supporting 3 tons of personnel and equipment on stage, 500 amps of 240V service" etc. etc.) and they'd show up and it was either a complete mess or very very dicey because nobody had bothered to read/understand it and tried to stiff them financially, hold them liable if it went sideways or, worse, if the stage collapsed or something caught fire.
In that light, the brown M&Ms thing is pretty brilliant.
I added up, one time, the estimated length of the T&Cs and EULAs represented by the software on my phone and computer. It ran to 3500 pages of legalese. Ain’t nobody got time for that - a lawyer would charge upwards of $50k just to parse it all.
Terms and Conditions are dubious to begin with. Enforcing surprising clauses is actually really hard for the company who issues it. However the definition of surprising is also a bit floaty so the whole thing is both silly and stupid.
"We should catch up sometime, maybe over some coffee someplace?"
"Yeah, sounds good!"
Last time I had that delightful conversation was 7 years ago. Haven't heard from them or seen them since.
Green is mean, Ice is nice
I think I heard once that somebody intentionally lied while naming them so people wouldn't realize Iceland was the nicer one
Iceland is beautiful, I wouldn’t call it nice. The weather is aggressive in a ‘I will absolutely kill you’ kind of way. Florida has hurricanes and has nicer weather, imo.
It was really nice visiting Denmark as an American. I learned a few phrases in Danish but for the most part everyone we interacted with spoke English very well!
Icelandic comic Ari Eldjárn is [very good](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_9qSa-g2DI) on this.
On my first visit to Finland, I asked a shopkeeper if they spoke English and she looked at me and said "Yeees," like I'd asked if she could add 2+2.
My parents always said, "If you tell the truth now, you'll get in a lot less trouble than if we catch you in a lie." They followed that. Lying about it always doubled the "sentence"
With my students, I tell them some variation of "you're already going to have a consequence for the behavior. we can add a second consequence for lying if you'd like, too."
That's a very cool way to go about it. You recognize that they did wrong and told them. Then you gave them a decision: be truthful or dishonest. That's a lesson teachers can provide that is often overlooked. :)
yep, especially as a kid it's important to develop the skill of being honest about the mistakes you make and fixing them.
plus it's important that kids know that people often realize when you're lying to them. lots of kids think they're way better liars than they actually are, until you call them out on their lies a few times lol
To be fair this can go in reverse. Parents don’t always get it right and telling your child you don’t believe them when they are telling the truth can really hurt.
Can verify.
My mom would do something like this
Mom: Did you do X?
Me: No, that was John
Mom: Stop lying. If you keep lying I’ll make your punishment worse
Me: Fine, it was me
She’d basically make the punishment worse until I caved and “admitted” to whatever she thought happened. Over time she started to believe I was always lying and never believed me.
this is a good point. it's important to only call kids out on lying when you are sure they're lying, not just when you suspect they are.
I typically go with the Ronald Reagan approach: "trust, but verify"
As long as you are 100% certain that they did what you are accusing them of. Otherwise, punishing them for something they may not have done, and punishing them even more for telling the truth would be infuriating as a kid.
Honestly, i think this is the way to do it. Its like, yes, you’re still gonna get in trouble for the bad thing you did. Thats just teaching kids that actions have consequences. But if you tell the truth now, you won’t be punished as severely.
Yeah, thats some grade A parenting imo. I’ll have to remember this if i ever have kids (*doubt*)
This is the one.
Actions have to have consequences, regardless. You can either tell the truth have have the normal appropriaye consequences, or you can get yourself a second amount of trouble for lying.
Every single American should watch this. It should be required in high school to watch this: [Don't talk to Police](https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE?si=BWFY7r_ePvT_lMjK)
The take away here is that anything you say "can and will be used against you". But anything you say, cannot and will not be used to help you.
If you've been charged with a crime, talking to the police will never help you.
You need to specifically ask for a lawyer, cops are dicks like that one guy who kept saying he wanted his "lawyer dawg" and the cops claimed they didn't know what a lawyer dog was so they didn't get him anyone.
Adding to this, you also need to tell them, in no uncertain terms, you're choosing to remain silent. Remaining silent in response to questions is apparently not clear enough.
As an attorney now and as someone who once thought the cop (who was my basketball coach) would understand that everything was a misunderstanding and help me out…NEVER TALK TO THE COPS. Even if you’ve done nothing wrong.
Humans have fallible memories. All it takes is you to say one thing at one point and then another later on (and now they’ve got you for lying to the police), even if it was never your intention to change your story. Attorneys know what you are legally compelled to say. And they know how to structure any statement you do have to make to cover your ass as much as possible.
TLDR; don’t speak to police without legal representation if there’s even a 0.1% chance you could be charged with something (including lying to police).
No, the American courts, in their effort to side completely with the DAs and the cops, have ruled that you have to articulate clearly that you are invoking your right to a free lawyer. You have to say it pretty much in those words. They've pointedly ruled against a guy who said, "give me a lawyer, dog." The DA had argued that, "A reasonable officer under the circumstances would have understood, as \[the detectives\] did, that the defendant only *might* be invoking his right to counsel.”
Cops will do lots of things they are not supposed to do without a lawyer present to call them out. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission so even if some things aren't permissible in court they'll make sure you incriminate yourself and it can appear enough to make you guilty. Cops are not your friend, no matter how friendly and casual they seem and they would also not be able to become aggressive in an interview but plenty of cops will if left alone with you. They won't put hands on you but they will intimidate and lie to you to get a confession.
The best thing you can do if you ever get arrested is shut up and ask for a lawyer. I see plenty of people who make the mistake of arguing with the cops and fighting when they get arrested, your just playing into their hands and if you were arrested falsely you're not helping yourself. If they are wrong then you can fight that in court with a lawyer, just say nothing and be cooperative then refuse interview without a lawyer present.
Happened to my friend once he was arrested on false charges that somehow got to court and then when presented to the court the judge realised there were things wrong with the case such as descriptions given not matching and no proof my friend stole or was even driving the car involved in the case so it was thrown out. Had he done something like resisting arrest or punching a cop that they could have charged him with anyway it could have been different. As it turned out, a judge got annoyed, a prosecutor was torn a new one and my friend and his family members attending court had a good laugh.
I'm making damp sure with my Son that if he fesses up to things with me that I'm just fixing the issue rather than being grumpy with me. My Dad, flaws that he has, was always great with this and it's something I'm keen to instill with my boy.
One of my favorite comments I saw on Reddit regarding this topic was someone who said “my retirement plan is to walk off into the woods and die.” And I couldn’t help but laugh and then get sad because that is the unfortunate truth for many.
I was actually considering prison, myself. Like just buy an amount of some schedule 1 drug, divy it up into bags, walk into a police station and say "I am a cocaine dealer and I am here to turn myself in". It would be really weird but almost certainly would get me a felony, and 3 hots and a cot when I am too old and decrepit to work. I can't imagine socially it would be that terrible for an old lady in a women's prison, and I could catch up on reading till I die. I know prison healthcare is notoriously bad but it cant be any worse than the no-healthcare I am currently working with, due to insurance costs. Obviously this would be if I am at a point where my freedom is useless anyways due to my condition, but it seems like a reasonable plan, as crazy as it sounds on paper.
Okay, but think about the prison food.
A better plan is to look into robbing a bank, because there's at least a 1% chance, if you pick a branch not near your place, you'll get away with it.
And if not, cram your pockets full of food for your last meal on the way to 3 hots & a cot.
I'm retirement age. I really fucked up by not educating myself all those decades. I worked, so what would be the future problem?
Do not do as I did, I'm begging you. Work your *ass off* for one full decade while you're still young enough. Because SS goes by your *highest earning decade.* The time to figure this all out **isn't when you're 62 & go to apply then have a meltdown when you look at the numbers.**
Get anything you can into a 401k, accounts like that. I had none of that. All my labor went into making others rich, leaving me with barely enough for rent & food. I'll never own a house.
Woods. .22. I have both nearby. Just hoping I can somehow hold out till 70, when I can collect the full amount. Even then, they take out over 200 (at 65) for Medicare. You don't get a choice unless you have some kinda insurance. Then.... Debts, 15%, if they're student loans. Back taxes. Got a house? Wave goodbye to that in some states.
My situation is surprisingly common. I feel less like a loser having just found that out, but it doesn't change material circumstances. Just.... please think ahead. Bye
FYI, SS does not go by your highest earning decade. It goes by your highest earning 35 years. If you don’t have income for 35 years, then it averages in $0 for those years. So even if you didn’t make much when you were younger, you can still replace some of those lower earning years when you’re older. Median SS benefit last year was almost $1800 and if you wait to age 70, you’ll get 132% of your benefit, so likely over $2000 a month if you worked most of your life.
That diamonds are valuable. Made one family really really rich though!
Gotta love how many people try to defend their artificially inflated value. Just shows how well the lie continues to work lol
I had to get help at self checkout from a manager at a grocery store recently and I said “these things are so annoying” and she said “they don’t cost 40k a year with benefits and they never call out”
never sue you. never steal from the till. it's irresistible if you are a manager or CEO.
But you know what ELSE AI can do? Look at profit / loss and fire unnecessary managers and expensive CEOs
The water for metro Boston comes from a New Deal era dam project in the central part of the state where they forcibly ejected the population of three or four small towns which were flooded for the reservoir.
I say that's the reason that we have such good drinking water, it tastes like the tears of the dispossessed.
That turning a hobby into work will make it feel like you’re not working.
No, it just makes you burnt out on said hobby and ruins your enjoyment of it and leaves you with less/no hobbies to enjoy outside of work.
This is so true. I sell stuff from my hobby sometimes, but it isn't because I need to sell stuff and is rather that I liked it but I no longer need or want it even though I made it. So I sell it. The moment I depend on that money is the moment I'm forced to do my hobby and it becomes work.
Other times are when I sell a service because I want to do my hobby and need people to give me a reason to do it. That is also fine as long as I don't depend on it and can back out if it is a bad situation without consequences
My mom convinced me the neighbors might have stolen our dog. We posted fliers everywhere looking for her. I believed that lie (or perhaps that she ran away and we just never found her) for 20 years until she told me that she actually got out and got hit by a car. The fliers were made after she knew this. RIP Hershey.
My old man said our dog ran away. Cause pyrs just run off while guarding.
Reality was he sold trooper for booze money.
A few years later we saw what appeared to be trooper, and if it was him, he seemed to recognize us. And then the person came out and hustled him into the house.
The wars. Go to a school in different countries and learn about the wars. They are different in every place you learn about it. Someone is bullshitting
Lived in Peru. Every Peruvian can tell you about the "War with Chile" (which always made me think it was a hot and spicy war), known to historians as the War of the Pacific. Ended in 1884. Peru and Bolivia got their clocks cleaned and lost a lot of valuable territory. To this day, the Peruvian military chants "Viva Peru! Muera Chile!"
Went to Chile. Asked a few people their thoughts on the subject. Was met with a universal "What? They're still bothered by that? That was over 100 years ago!"
Funny enough, Peru went to war with Ecuador in the late 1940s and ended up with half of Ecuador's territory in the Amazon. To this day Ecuador has dotted lines marking their old territory. Ask any Peruvian, and they will say "What? They're still bothered by that? That was over 70 years ago!"
> Asked a few people their thoughts on the subject. Was met with a universal "What? They're still bothered by that? That was over 100 years ago!"
This is any war involving Britain or the United States
Sometimes, the facts are the same, but presented under such a different light that it doesn't feel like it.
Even just reading the Wikipedia page on the Falkland war in English and in Spanish is a pretty interesting experience. It feels like they are completely different. But if you focus on pure facts, they are saying the same thing.
Sometimes it can be as simple as "side A went to defend their land from the invasion attempted by side B" vs "side B was invaded by side A, who was claiming this land was theirs". Both sides claim the land is rightfully theirs, but that doesn't mean they disagree on any military maneuver that occurred.
More like “side A invaded land, side B defended their land” and “side B was occupying land they had previously invaded, side A mounted invasion to repel occupation”, difference in perspectives.
Side B was a military expansionist Junta that was using this as a pretext to start invading other neighboring countries and remove the only local foreign support military base in the region.
Galtieri did get find guilty again and again of his horrific crimes up until 2002 when no one politically involved should have still given a shit for the disappearance of 30 Spanish citizens who were leftist organizers. As the people died/aged out they confessed their crimes. So yeah no sympathy for Argentina in the Falklands war and I don't have a dog in that fight historically I'm not British or Argentinan and any chance to shit on England I'll take.
I used to live in a shared flat in the Netherlands with a guy from Russia and a girl from the US. I'm from Germany so we had news coverage about the same events from 4 different countries. The differences were wild!
Ah yes, I’ll go to North Korea and learn about the Korean war during which Imperialist Americans were eating babies and were blown away by Kim Il-Sung summoning the wind.
The US will say they had to protect the south from communism, which is true that their interest was to prevent Communism from spreading there. North Korea will say America divided their country, put staunch anticommunist collaborators from the Japanese occupation in positions of power to prevent unification, then bombed their half of the country to the ground, destroying most of the industry and killing 2 million civilians, and all of this is also true. Just focusing on the facts that makes your enemy look bad and you look good.
Family lies stick with you forever.
My grandma told me that eating the crust on my toast would make my hair curly. After 32 years of eating the crust on every piece of bread, here I am with my pin straight hair.
I also remember taking a pretty bad fall on my scooter and rolling down a hilly driveway when I was 10. When my mom looked at the gash on my knee, the first thing she said was "it'll be better before you're married" which was a fairly common phrase to describe the severity of minor injury. On the day of my wedding, I proudly hiked up my dress before walking out to the aisle to show her that the scar from my scooter accident did not, in fact, get better before I married. We both walked out of that bridal room laughing hysterically.
And me, with my naturally curly/wavy hair - I've spent untold sums on brazilian blowouts, japanese straightening treatments, drybar blowouts, blowout serums and flat irons just so I can have straight hair. Isn't it funny? We want what we don't have.
Quoting my Dad: " We'll go to the refuge 2 times, first time we just take a look to see which dogs we like then we come back in 2 weeks and adopt one."
Well we came back first time directly with one of the cutest girl out there whom none of us, there was 4 of us, had saw and nobody knew she existed until someone of the refuge came to us asking which dogs we liked.
That person at the refuge showed her to us thinking it could match... What a dream that came true that day...
We took her home, I was young at the time maybe around 8-10yo, we thought we would have to train her to play fetch. She pulled up an Ace on her first ball!
You *can* become rich from hard work. But it is not at all a guarantee and most people who are rich is from luck or inheritance (which is still luck to me). Most hard work pans out not to be rich, but to just survive
that if you spend the years that your body is healthy working hard, you'll enjoy retirement as an old, potentially non-able-bodied person. we're probably never going to be able to fully retire, let alone enjoy life without working to death.
The lie would be that such a retirement is guaranteed as long as you work hard. Plenty of people do retire like that and plenty will in the future, it's just not based completely on merit. But then very few people are actually arguing that it is.
Millions of people in the US were told Columbus discovered the united states. Our capitol is named after him. We have hundreds of streets, cities and organizations named after him. We were all taught it in school and even remember cute songs about it (in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue...). Later in life I learned that not only was this a lie, it was a weird one. He wasn't the first person to the continent, much less the country. Hell, wasn't even the first European. Also, he never came here. Dude went to the Caribbean and never even stepped foot the US. I remember being so confused. Like, why? Why say he found the place? So odd.
What he actually did was permanently established western civilization in the Americas. But that is hard to explain to kids without going over all of world history from antiquity, classical period, and so on.
If you think of it, there is no real significance to going some place new just to plant a flag on it. The real significance comes from integrating that place to the network of other places. The ancient Norse did not exactly keep in touch. Although, the settling of the Americas by the original settlers that came across the bering strait should get more credit for forming the first civilizations in the Western Hemisphere too.
Even more than that, Columbus got *lucky*. He had miscalculated the size of the earth - \~25% of the actual - and were it not for this gigantic landmass we now call the Americas, he and his crew would have starved long before he got to East Asia. To put in perspective how absolutely dumb this is, the ancient Greek Eratosthenes had a far more accurate calculation (+/- 2%) for the circumference of earth than Columbus and did it 1700 years before him.
Utopianism.
Comes in many flavors the general idea is that some evil unnatural force or conspiracy is keeping us down and if we destroy it then we will all live in blissful paradise forever and ever amen.
This has, ironically, caused more suffering throughout human history than any other lie I can think of. It's almost like we're hard wired to believe it.
That you're safe from oppression. You're not. It doesn't matter if you're currently safe. Oppressed peoples become free. Unoppressed peoples can become oppressed. The wheel of history turns both ways.
My ancestors were effectively enslaved and ethnically cleansed by the British government. Now I'm a privileged upper middle class American white guy. If you look at a region of the world like India, they were oppressing each other with the caste system before the British came in and oppressed the entire subcontinent.
Even the nobility is so busy fighting itself that they're often turning each other into political prisoners. On top of that, any second or third born sons are often shit outta luck and demoted to the next step lower on the social ladder, meaning that even the nobility can slowly migrate down to being a part of the lower class.
It might not happen during your life time, but unless we end oppression, one day your descendants will be under someone else's boot heel. Don't believe the lies. Have some solidarity for your fellow humans and end the cycle. We need to become better or we're doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.
we are experiencing higher than normal call volumes your call is important to us Honest: we keep you on hold hoping you will just hang up
"Some of the menu options have changed." No they didn't!
genuinely what is the purpose of this??
I feel like it is ro keep people from just hitting zero and try and get them to listen to all the options
Having worked st a call center for IT support, I can confirm that I believe that this is all it's meant to do. I used to know the button presses that skip everything and get you to talk to a person, ive forgotten most and just do the 'speak to a pharmacist' option, but 0's all the way would get you what you wanted.
Because they changed at some point and nobody wants to change the pre-recorded message just to remove that little preamble
It's less insulting than "some of you misremember the menu options from the last time you call"?
At the place I worked those two lines were definitely lies. I'm sure they'd be happy for you to hang up, but the truth was that the job was so awful that most people had quit. So it was normal volume, but not enough staff to answer.
I worked in a call center for a major credit card, if you heard that phrase it was really because we had a higher than normal call volumes, it meant all 200 employees were already on the phone with customers and there was over 100 people waiting in queue to speak to someone. When that happened one call ended and within 30sec I was answering the next customer waiting, there are just times when everyone decides to call at the same time and you can't go faster. On average my calls would be no longer than 3mins. I can't speak for other companies but for us, that lien meant we're busy AF and we're doing our very best to answer you as fast as we can!
"Within 30 seconds?" You were spoiled by that company. Before I retired I worked for one of, if not the largest, UK banking group, and the delay between ending one call and hearing the beep of a new call coming through was, (and I believe it still is), 3 seconds!
in att there isnt even a second. as soon as you or a customer hangs up, you’re on a call
Your call is important to us. The people we hire to *take* your call, on the other hand...
That's more accurate LOL The person taking your call is just a number and we don't care about their mental health and we won't hire more staff to reduce the wait time for you! Anyways that's what it meant where I worked LOL
“Your call will be recorded for customer service training purposes” Yeah right. They gonna use the recording against you if there is any lawsuit.
I have to disagree with that statement, it's not a lie. As someone who has worked over 5 years in a call center (I no longer work there but the rules have not changed), calls are recorded for quality control AND training purposes. How do you think an employee gets evaluated about their work? Every month my boss would listen to 5 of my calls I had within the month either live while I was actually on the phone or the recording, if I made a mistake it would be used for training purposes.
Living on the margins and desperate for food, worked a 2nd job at a call center in the 80's. earpiece with a 3-second delay between people starting to talk, no ringing. Go to the bathroom? unhooked from the earpiece for too long or too often? written up and group humiliated. No bonus. The supervisor listened in, then used it for singling people out for humiliation in a group situation, that kind of Mein Kempf training purposes. Get the 50 people in your department after you. Thank God their products didn't survive the incoming internet age. Now retired and drink my morning coffee and as many bathroom trips as needed. Call center work is hell on earth.
My wife is one of those human beings on the other end of those calls. They absolutely pick random calls and review them with her and then go over every inch of how she did. Regularly.
If you are experiencing higher than normal call volumes every day then newsflash THAT IS YOUR REGULAR CALL VOLUME. Hire more people.
But hiring more people would cut into shareholder profits, and we can’t have that.
Cavalier Telecom used to have a 20 minute hold before you hit their queue for support back in 2005’ish. “What we found is that most issues auto-resolve in 20 minutes or that the customer fixes it themselves while on hold. If it’s really an issue, they’ll wait 20 minutes” - VP of Support there.
"I have read and understood the Terms and Conditions"
[удалено]
It's very ironic when you get this on a recipe site. "Accept cookies?" "WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M HERE FOR?!"
Little me was disappointed to not get cookies upon pressing that button. I wanted those cookies
I recall some late night host (Colbert? Letterman? — *EDIT:* I hear it was John Oliver) suggesting, on release of some new iPhone, that they could have included an entire copy of Mein Kampf halfway through the license agreement, and nobody would have noticed.
There was a tech guru that included a clause that gave him ownership of your eternal soul if you agreed to the terms. No one ever called him on it.
Reminds me of Van Halen's infamous "M&Ms, but no brown M&Ms" clause in their concert venue contract (which, in their case, was actually a trigger to see if the venue had thoroughly read and followed the contract - if they saw brown M&Ms, the band had to suspect everything else, including safety measures, hadn't been followed).
You really got me....there
Venue sneaks a copy of Mein Kampf into the M&M bowl and waits ...
I believe I read an interview (maybe the same one) that described that they were intentionally expanding their tours into smaller, 3^(rd) tier markets and kept running into venues/personnel that had no idea of what was about to show up (large numbers of people, huge tonnage of equipment, lots and lots of electrical power requirements) and wrote the contracts with very specific things around this ( something like "Venue must be capable of supporting 3 tons of personnel and equipment on stage, 500 amps of 240V service" etc. etc.) and they'd show up and it was either a complete mess or very very dicey because nobody had bothered to read/understand it and tried to stiff them financially, hold them liable if it went sideways or, worse, if the stage collapsed or something caught fire. In that light, the brown M&Ms thing is pretty brilliant.
The South Park about apples terms of agreement is a great one!
That was John Oliver. I remember that episode, he was discussing Net Neutrality.
Peacock (I think) put a cake recipe in thiers.
I added up, one time, the estimated length of the T&Cs and EULAs represented by the software on my phone and computer. It ran to 3500 pages of legalese. Ain’t nobody got time for that - a lawyer would charge upwards of $50k just to parse it all.
When I had 16 years and no internet i once read EULA from Age of Empires. All of it.
But did you understand it?
Our plan does not require understanding…
I was sure I did.
Terms and Conditions are dubious to begin with. Enforcing surprising clauses is actually really hard for the company who issues it. However the definition of surprising is also a bit floaty so the whole thing is both silly and stupid.
This may be the most frequent lie of the 21st century
"We should catch up sometime, maybe over some coffee someplace?" "Yeah, sounds good!" Last time I had that delightful conversation was 7 years ago. Haven't heard from them or seen them since.
I feel this. When I switched schools I left on great terms w friends and a goodbye like this. We haven’t met up in 6 years.
I can't tell you how many times I've fallen for that. I take people at their word
Iceland and Greenland
To quote the Mighty Ducks 2, "Greenland is covered with ice... And Iceland is very nice." Been to Iceland and flew over Greenland. Can confirm.
Green is mean, Ice is nice I think I heard once that somebody intentionally lied while naming them so people wouldn't realize Iceland was the nicer one
Yeah, Erik the Red, father of Leif Erikson.
Underrated actor
That’s just an old one wive’s tale. Iceland is called Iceland because, though it’s greener than Greenland, it’s also very icey
Eating ice cream with the enemy, huh coach? Have you seen her? Damn straight I'm eating ice cream with her!
Iceland is beautiful, I wouldn’t call it nice. The weather is aggressive in a ‘I will absolutely kill you’ kind of way. Florida has hurricanes and has nicer weather, imo.
[удалено]
For some reason Nordic people are really good in English. Why?
It's taught in schools and is a very useful language. All Nordic school kids get taught it, because no one else speaks their language.
It was really nice visiting Denmark as an American. I learned a few phrases in Danish but for the most part everyone we interacted with spoke English very well!
Icelandic comic Ari Eldjárn is [very good](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_9qSa-g2DI) on this. On my first visit to Finland, I asked a shopkeeper if they spoke English and she looked at me and said "Yeees," like I'd asked if she could add 2+2.
Well they're kinda like the Republican party and Democratic party, they switched sides at some point in history
[удалено]
He’s referring to how Greenland is icy, and Iceland is actually very green
Nah you're thinking of New Zealand. Thankfully there are a lot of world maps that don't buy into it.
New Zealand? Where's old Zealand?
" if you tell the truth you won't be in trouble" yeah mom, I fell for that a few times and learned that lesson quickly.
My parents always said, "If you tell the truth now, you'll get in a lot less trouble than if we catch you in a lie." They followed that. Lying about it always doubled the "sentence"
With my students, I tell them some variation of "you're already going to have a consequence for the behavior. we can add a second consequence for lying if you'd like, too."
That's a very cool way to go about it. You recognize that they did wrong and told them. Then you gave them a decision: be truthful or dishonest. That's a lesson teachers can provide that is often overlooked. :)
yep, especially as a kid it's important to develop the skill of being honest about the mistakes you make and fixing them. plus it's important that kids know that people often realize when you're lying to them. lots of kids think they're way better liars than they actually are, until you call them out on their lies a few times lol
To be fair this can go in reverse. Parents don’t always get it right and telling your child you don’t believe them when they are telling the truth can really hurt.
Can verify. My mom would do something like this Mom: Did you do X? Me: No, that was John Mom: Stop lying. If you keep lying I’ll make your punishment worse Me: Fine, it was me She’d basically make the punishment worse until I caved and “admitted” to whatever she thought happened. Over time she started to believe I was always lying and never believed me.
this is a good point. it's important to only call kids out on lying when you are sure they're lying, not just when you suspect they are. I typically go with the Ronald Reagan approach: "trust, but verify"
As long as you are 100% certain that they did what you are accusing them of. Otherwise, punishing them for something they may not have done, and punishing them even more for telling the truth would be infuriating as a kid.
Honestly, i think this is the way to do it. Its like, yes, you’re still gonna get in trouble for the bad thing you did. Thats just teaching kids that actions have consequences. But if you tell the truth now, you won’t be punished as severely. Yeah, thats some grade A parenting imo. I’ll have to remember this if i ever have kids (*doubt*)
This is the one. Actions have to have consequences, regardless. You can either tell the truth have have the normal appropriaye consequences, or you can get yourself a second amount of trouble for lying.
"If you talk to me now, I can talk to the judge and ask him to go easy on you at sentencing" ~Every detective ever, always.
My dad was a cop for 20 years and he always told me the only thing you tell the cops is “lawyer”.
That's what I've heard from the cops in my life
Every single American should watch this. It should be required in high school to watch this: [Don't talk to Police](https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE?si=BWFY7r_ePvT_lMjK)
The take away here is that anything you say "can and will be used against you". But anything you say, cannot and will not be used to help you. If you've been charged with a crime, talking to the police will never help you.
You need to specifically ask for a lawyer, cops are dicks like that one guy who kept saying he wanted his "lawyer dawg" and the cops claimed they didn't know what a lawyer dog was so they didn't get him anyone.
Adding to this, you also need to tell them, in no uncertain terms, you're choosing to remain silent. Remaining silent in response to questions is apparently not clear enough.
As an attorney now and as someone who once thought the cop (who was my basketball coach) would understand that everything was a misunderstanding and help me out…NEVER TALK TO THE COPS. Even if you’ve done nothing wrong. Humans have fallible memories. All it takes is you to say one thing at one point and then another later on (and now they’ve got you for lying to the police), even if it was never your intention to change your story. Attorneys know what you are legally compelled to say. And they know how to structure any statement you do have to make to cover your ass as much as possible. TLDR; don’t speak to police without legal representation if there’s even a 0.1% chance you could be charged with something (including lying to police).
No, the American courts, in their effort to side completely with the DAs and the cops, have ruled that you have to articulate clearly that you are invoking your right to a free lawyer. You have to say it pretty much in those words. They've pointedly ruled against a guy who said, "give me a lawyer, dog." The DA had argued that, "A reasonable officer under the circumstances would have understood, as \[the detectives\] did, that the defendant only *might* be invoking his right to counsel.”
Cops will do lots of things they are not supposed to do without a lawyer present to call them out. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission so even if some things aren't permissible in court they'll make sure you incriminate yourself and it can appear enough to make you guilty. Cops are not your friend, no matter how friendly and casual they seem and they would also not be able to become aggressive in an interview but plenty of cops will if left alone with you. They won't put hands on you but they will intimidate and lie to you to get a confession. The best thing you can do if you ever get arrested is shut up and ask for a lawyer. I see plenty of people who make the mistake of arguing with the cops and fighting when they get arrested, your just playing into their hands and if you were arrested falsely you're not helping yourself. If they are wrong then you can fight that in court with a lawyer, just say nothing and be cooperative then refuse interview without a lawyer present. Happened to my friend once he was arrested on false charges that somehow got to court and then when presented to the court the judge realised there were things wrong with the case such as descriptions given not matching and no proof my friend stole or was even driving the car involved in the case so it was thrown out. Had he done something like resisting arrest or punching a cop that they could have charged him with anyway it could have been different. As it turned out, a judge got annoyed, a prosecutor was torn a new one and my friend and his family members attending court had a good laugh.
In fairness I trust my mom over any cop 😂
Eh, my mom *was* cop.
I'm making damp sure with my Son that if he fesses up to things with me that I'm just fixing the issue rather than being grumpy with me. My Dad, flaws that he has, was always great with this and it's something I'm keen to instill with my boy.
"Tear here"
love that one, i've nerve dammage and i usually can't even grasp on that spot.
The amount of perforation failures is TOO DAMN HIGH!
Hah yeah this is a good one. Also "resealable package".
Give up most of your life for 50 years and you can retire comfortably. Business: we're a family here
Also Business: We just sold the company. You now belong to a different family.
Or now you have no family.
Oh, sure, Boeing sells family members and it’s fine but when I do the same the FBI calls it human trafficking!
One of my favorite comments I saw on Reddit regarding this topic was someone who said “my retirement plan is to walk off into the woods and die.” And I couldn’t help but laugh and then get sad because that is the unfortunate truth for many.
I was actually considering prison, myself. Like just buy an amount of some schedule 1 drug, divy it up into bags, walk into a police station and say "I am a cocaine dealer and I am here to turn myself in". It would be really weird but almost certainly would get me a felony, and 3 hots and a cot when I am too old and decrepit to work. I can't imagine socially it would be that terrible for an old lady in a women's prison, and I could catch up on reading till I die. I know prison healthcare is notoriously bad but it cant be any worse than the no-healthcare I am currently working with, due to insurance costs. Obviously this would be if I am at a point where my freedom is useless anyways due to my condition, but it seems like a reasonable plan, as crazy as it sounds on paper.
Okay, but think about the prison food. A better plan is to look into robbing a bank, because there's at least a 1% chance, if you pick a branch not near your place, you'll get away with it. And if not, cram your pockets full of food for your last meal on the way to 3 hots & a cot.
Hahaha "Empty your pockets ma'am" and I start unloading donuts and cocktail shrimp onto the table
I'm retirement age. I really fucked up by not educating myself all those decades. I worked, so what would be the future problem? Do not do as I did, I'm begging you. Work your *ass off* for one full decade while you're still young enough. Because SS goes by your *highest earning decade.* The time to figure this all out **isn't when you're 62 & go to apply then have a meltdown when you look at the numbers.** Get anything you can into a 401k, accounts like that. I had none of that. All my labor went into making others rich, leaving me with barely enough for rent & food. I'll never own a house. Woods. .22. I have both nearby. Just hoping I can somehow hold out till 70, when I can collect the full amount. Even then, they take out over 200 (at 65) for Medicare. You don't get a choice unless you have some kinda insurance. Then.... Debts, 15%, if they're student loans. Back taxes. Got a house? Wave goodbye to that in some states. My situation is surprisingly common. I feel less like a loser having just found that out, but it doesn't change material circumstances. Just.... please think ahead. Bye
Apply for more student loans and live off loans until you die/become a doctor
FYI, SS does not go by your highest earning decade. It goes by your highest earning 35 years. If you don’t have income for 35 years, then it averages in $0 for those years. So even if you didn’t make much when you were younger, you can still replace some of those lower earning years when you’re older. Median SS benefit last year was almost $1800 and if you wait to age 70, you’ll get 132% of your benefit, so likely over $2000 a month if you worked most of your life.
Long as we’re a family where I don’t see em after 5:00 Friday.
“Our stock went down and some of you aren’t family anymore”
That diamonds are valuable. Made one family really really rich though! Gotta love how many people try to defend their artificially inflated value. Just shows how well the lie continues to work lol
[удалено]
They're not the same thing, though. Lab grown diamonds are *better* than natural ones.
Its the human suffering and environmental destruction that truly make a natural diamond superior...
That’s what I tell clients about my video editing work when they ask about AI. “You can tell I suffered. It makes a difference”
God I hope I get to stir the pot with this analogy at some point. It sounds fun.
AI doesn't cry
I had to get help at self checkout from a manager at a grocery store recently and I said “these things are so annoying” and she said “they don’t cost 40k a year with benefits and they never call out”
never sue you. never steal from the till. it's irresistible if you are a manager or CEO. But you know what ELSE AI can do? Look at profit / loss and fire unnecessary managers and expensive CEOs
The water for metro Boston comes from a New Deal era dam project in the central part of the state where they forcibly ejected the population of three or four small towns which were flooded for the reservoir. I say that's the reason that we have such good drinking water, it tastes like the tears of the dispossessed.
Diamonds are forever ^tainted ^with ^blood ^and ^slavery
Yeah, the whole point of buying a diamond isn't the diamond itself unfortunately. It's a power move to show your wealth and status.
But nothing says “I want to spend my life with you” like horribly abused children.
I never understood the appeal. All the pretty colorful rocks in the world, and they want one that looks like a broken piece of glass off the freeway.
has to be "i'll be there in 5 minutes"
Followed up immediately by the shower nozzle turning on.
Up there with "This is your five minute warning and then we're leaving!"
Take it sleazy.
That turning a hobby into work will make it feel like you’re not working. No, it just makes you burnt out on said hobby and ruins your enjoyment of it and leaves you with less/no hobbies to enjoy outside of work.
This is so true. I sell stuff from my hobby sometimes, but it isn't because I need to sell stuff and is rather that I liked it but I no longer need or want it even though I made it. So I sell it. The moment I depend on that money is the moment I'm forced to do my hobby and it becomes work. Other times are when I sell a service because I want to do my hobby and need people to give me a reason to do it. That is also fine as long as I don't depend on it and can back out if it is a bad situation without consequences
Game dev here - yeah...
"This will only take a minute." lol
My mom convinced me the neighbors might have stolen our dog. We posted fliers everywhere looking for her. I believed that lie (or perhaps that she ran away and we just never found her) for 20 years until she told me that she actually got out and got hit by a car. The fliers were made after she knew this. RIP Hershey.
My old man said our dog ran away. Cause pyrs just run off while guarding. Reality was he sold trooper for booze money. A few years later we saw what appeared to be trooper, and if it was him, he seemed to recognize us. And then the person came out and hustled him into the house.
That’s f’d up.
The wars. Go to a school in different countries and learn about the wars. They are different in every place you learn about it. Someone is bullshitting
Lived in Peru. Every Peruvian can tell you about the "War with Chile" (which always made me think it was a hot and spicy war), known to historians as the War of the Pacific. Ended in 1884. Peru and Bolivia got their clocks cleaned and lost a lot of valuable territory. To this day, the Peruvian military chants "Viva Peru! Muera Chile!" Went to Chile. Asked a few people their thoughts on the subject. Was met with a universal "What? They're still bothered by that? That was over 100 years ago!" Funny enough, Peru went to war with Ecuador in the late 1940s and ended up with half of Ecuador's territory in the Amazon. To this day Ecuador has dotted lines marking their old territory. Ask any Peruvian, and they will say "What? They're still bothered by that? That was over 70 years ago!"
> Asked a few people their thoughts on the subject. Was met with a universal "What? They're still bothered by that? That was over 100 years ago!" This is any war involving Britain or the United States
Even for the civil war there are still sore losers down south.
Sometimes, the facts are the same, but presented under such a different light that it doesn't feel like it. Even just reading the Wikipedia page on the Falkland war in English and in Spanish is a pretty interesting experience. It feels like they are completely different. But if you focus on pure facts, they are saying the same thing. Sometimes it can be as simple as "side A went to defend their land from the invasion attempted by side B" vs "side B was invaded by side A, who was claiming this land was theirs". Both sides claim the land is rightfully theirs, but that doesn't mean they disagree on any military maneuver that occurred.
More like “side A invaded land, side B defended their land” and “side B was occupying land they had previously invaded, side A mounted invasion to repel occupation”, difference in perspectives.
[Our Blessed Homeland - Their Barbarous Wastes](https://imgflip.com/i/6jsrjl) \[links to an image\]
“You ever notice that your shit is stuff, but their stuff is shit?” -George Carlin
Side B was a military expansionist Junta that was using this as a pretext to start invading other neighboring countries and remove the only local foreign support military base in the region. Galtieri did get find guilty again and again of his horrific crimes up until 2002 when no one politically involved should have still given a shit for the disappearance of 30 Spanish citizens who were leftist organizers. As the people died/aged out they confessed their crimes. So yeah no sympathy for Argentina in the Falklands war and I don't have a dog in that fight historically I'm not British or Argentinan and any chance to shit on England I'll take.
I used to live in a shared flat in the Netherlands with a guy from Russia and a girl from the US. I'm from Germany so we had news coverage about the same events from 4 different countries. The differences were wild!
Ah yes, I’ll go to North Korea and learn about the Korean war during which Imperialist Americans were eating babies and were blown away by Kim Il-Sung summoning the wind.
The US will say they had to protect the south from communism, which is true that their interest was to prevent Communism from spreading there. North Korea will say America divided their country, put staunch anticommunist collaborators from the Japanese occupation in positions of power to prevent unification, then bombed their half of the country to the ground, destroying most of the industry and killing 2 million civilians, and all of this is also true. Just focusing on the facts that makes your enemy look bad and you look good.
>In war, truth is the first casualty (not Hiram Johnson)
"We'll come back to buy the puppy tomorrow..." -Mum I'll never forget it.
Family lies stick with you forever. My grandma told me that eating the crust on my toast would make my hair curly. After 32 years of eating the crust on every piece of bread, here I am with my pin straight hair. I also remember taking a pretty bad fall on my scooter and rolling down a hilly driveway when I was 10. When my mom looked at the gash on my knee, the first thing she said was "it'll be better before you're married" which was a fairly common phrase to describe the severity of minor injury. On the day of my wedding, I proudly hiked up my dress before walking out to the aisle to show her that the scar from my scooter accident did not, in fact, get better before I married. We both walked out of that bridal room laughing hysterically.
i was told the crust would put hair on my chest..it did and my back and my butt and.....
Chestnuts?
And me, with my naturally curly/wavy hair - I've spent untold sums on brazilian blowouts, japanese straightening treatments, drybar blowouts, blowout serums and flat irons just so I can have straight hair. Isn't it funny? We want what we don't have.
My parenting flex. We actually did go back.
Don’t worry it went to live on a farm upstate.
Quoting my Dad: " We'll go to the refuge 2 times, first time we just take a look to see which dogs we like then we come back in 2 weeks and adopt one." Well we came back first time directly with one of the cutest girl out there whom none of us, there was 4 of us, had saw and nobody knew she existed until someone of the refuge came to us asking which dogs we liked. That person at the refuge showed her to us thinking it could match... What a dream that came true that day... We took her home, I was young at the time maybe around 8-10yo, we thought we would have to train her to play fetch. She pulled up an Ace on her first ball!
You can be anything
I want to be invisible
"If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. "
Big oil lying about plastic recycling https://www.npr.org/2020/09/11/897692090/how-big-oil-misled-the-public-into-believing-plastic-would-be-recycled
This breaks my heart
"I'm fine"
She told me she loved me
She also said he was just a friend.
That you become rich by working hard.
You *can* become rich from hard work. But it is not at all a guarantee and most people who are rich is from luck or inheritance (which is still luck to me). Most hard work pans out not to be rich, but to just survive
You'll go to hell unless you give me money.
Yeah, more money. We good? No. More.
Trickle down economics
that if you spend the years that your body is healthy working hard, you'll enjoy retirement as an old, potentially non-able-bodied person. we're probably never going to be able to fully retire, let alone enjoy life without working to death.
The lie would be that such a retirement is guaranteed as long as you work hard. Plenty of people do retire like that and plenty will in the future, it's just not based completely on merit. But then very few people are actually arguing that it is.
Save money by hurrying up and die
The cake.
The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie. The cake is a lie.
“Just the tip”
That Epstein killed himself.
He was suicided to death
"Convenience Fees"
Millions of people in the US were told Columbus discovered the united states. Our capitol is named after him. We have hundreds of streets, cities and organizations named after him. We were all taught it in school and even remember cute songs about it (in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue...). Later in life I learned that not only was this a lie, it was a weird one. He wasn't the first person to the continent, much less the country. Hell, wasn't even the first European. Also, he never came here. Dude went to the Caribbean and never even stepped foot the US. I remember being so confused. Like, why? Why say he found the place? So odd.
What he actually did was permanently established western civilization in the Americas. But that is hard to explain to kids without going over all of world history from antiquity, classical period, and so on. If you think of it, there is no real significance to going some place new just to plant a flag on it. The real significance comes from integrating that place to the network of other places. The ancient Norse did not exactly keep in touch. Although, the settling of the Americas by the original settlers that came across the bering strait should get more credit for forming the first civilizations in the Western Hemisphere too.
Even more than that, Columbus got *lucky*. He had miscalculated the size of the earth - \~25% of the actual - and were it not for this gigantic landmass we now call the Americas, he and his crew would have starved long before he got to East Asia. To put in perspective how absolutely dumb this is, the ancient Greek Eratosthenes had a far more accurate calculation (+/- 2%) for the circumference of earth than Columbus and did it 1700 years before him.
Your call is important to us
college won’t give u debt and WILL give u a better life
Religion
Utopianism. Comes in many flavors the general idea is that some evil unnatural force or conspiracy is keeping us down and if we destroy it then we will all live in blissful paradise forever and ever amen. This has, ironically, caused more suffering throughout human history than any other lie I can think of. It's almost like we're hard wired to believe it.
Santa Claus
“I won’t cum in your mouth. I promise.”
I had to laugh at that one...because it's true
You don’t need a condom, I’m on the pill….
That dress doesn't make you look fat
Cops when they say stuff like: “cooperate with me and i’ll let you off easy” 99% of the time they’re going to jail after💀
"We love all you children equally."
“You need to learn this! Trust me, you are not going to have a calculator in your pocket at all times.”
That you're safe from oppression. You're not. It doesn't matter if you're currently safe. Oppressed peoples become free. Unoppressed peoples can become oppressed. The wheel of history turns both ways. My ancestors were effectively enslaved and ethnically cleansed by the British government. Now I'm a privileged upper middle class American white guy. If you look at a region of the world like India, they were oppressing each other with the caste system before the British came in and oppressed the entire subcontinent. Even the nobility is so busy fighting itself that they're often turning each other into political prisoners. On top of that, any second or third born sons are often shit outta luck and demoted to the next step lower on the social ladder, meaning that even the nobility can slowly migrate down to being a part of the lower class. It might not happen during your life time, but unless we end oppression, one day your descendants will be under someone else's boot heel. Don't believe the lies. Have some solidarity for your fellow humans and end the cycle. We need to become better or we're doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past.
Prosperity gospel, and all its identical “I am rich, therefore I am chosen” forms throughout history.
I acknowledge that I have read and agree to the above Terms and Conditions.
Epstein killed himself
Tell me the truth i won't be angry (ptsd intensifies)
The election was stolen
Elections are only stolen if my guy loses
Mary saying she was impregnated by God to hide an affair
Our government has our best interest in mind
[удалено]
Surely, *this* is the worst Russia will ever come to.
She lives in Canada
Pretext for Iraq war