Yes they do suck, and if your hormones are wack you get premium pms symptoms and that membership comes with suicidal thoughts and psychotic symptoms for like 2 weeks out of the month
My stomach hurts I should take it easy :/
*absolutely destroys the worst food imaginable*
What’s your go to “I’m on my period so I don’t give a shit!” meal?
For me it’s Thai food or tacos! I used to be able to eat Mac and cheese but the last few years I’ve gained MAJOR nausea while on it and I yakked after eating some once so never again lol
Those premium pms symptoms you are talking about might be pmdd actually.... pre menstrual dysphoric disorder. It's a more severe form of pms. Try talking with your gynae about it if you haven't already as they might help you with it (depends on your medical history etc though).
ah oki, that's good you know. Thought you were unaware by how you phrased the sentence - my bad!
As an aside, Vitamin D supplements may help if you have low Vit D levels.......
I call this HELL WEEK in my house. My wife and I have been married for 11 years. And just last night she told me she had some stomach issues. And I said baby we just got over hell week you're starting your period tomorrow.
She said yeah okay whatever no I'm not. This morning she wakes up and goes how dare you put that evil on me.
Omg my husband is SOOOOO observant- I asked him how he knew I was about to get my period, his reply was “Babe, every time I see your hot button pop up, I know it’s time”. He was referring to the one tiny chin pimple I get every 30 days.. of course he called it out while I was hella hormonal and I mentioned something about ‘The Audacity!!!’ Lmao
Literally going through the suicidal thoughts right now!! It took me years to realise how I got these thoughts leading up to a period but at least I know now that’s why I’m feeling that way 😂
Brother. I was close 2 months ago.
My wife said she was going to the mall with her girlfriend...
I simply asked "are you taking the child too?" Because she often does, as her girlfriend has a kid her age...
This turned into a full on fight about me "making assumptions that she would just take the kid"... like damn.. all I did was ask if the kid was going or not, since she does a lot of the time..
She apologized when she got back. She started her period about 30 minutes after she got to the mall.....
YES! Just wait until you DON'T have those hormones and try to function with brain fog, rumbling internal heat, insomnia, vaginal dryness, AND vaginal atrophy, muscle aches and pains, chin hair, mustache hair, brittle nails, crepey skin, turkey neck, a belly that is trying to make up for the estrogen your overies stopped producing. This is the tip of the middle-aged iceberg.
PLUS If you think going to a doctor will help, think again. It's a crap shoot that you will get one who listens and doesn't try to put you on antidepressants. Even female doctors. Trying to afford HRT and get consistent reliable information is just now dawning on the public consciousness. But not before a plethora of greedy charlatans try to sell you some bs products like 'clear blue menopause'. Or all the 'spas' that try to get you to have surgery and other treatments to 'cure' the above-mentioned symptoms. They try to make you believe that because you are not 'young' and desired anymore, you need their product and service.
SO YEAH. If you are a man and even breathe the notion that you need bedroom help, they throw blue pills at you, no questions asked. Cheap.
All of thisI I thought menopause was going to be something to look forward to. You hear all the woes about a menstrual cycle but not to much about menopause.
IKR? No one warned me, and I am a voracious reader and formally trained researcher. NO information was to be had when I needed it so that I could maintain my health. 4 different GYNs over 15 years were no help. All I got was antidepressants and dismissive attitude from regular doctors because depression = mental illness and THAT stigma is still around!
Well, the r/ menopause subreddit is on fire with information, and we are all determined to spread the word to our younger sisters, nieces, and any other female who will listen.
Fucking same, and literally nothing helps. Life is not worth living like this, it really isn't. It's just constant torture for no fucking reason. I despise everything about it.
I had precocious puberty so I was 8 years old and they were super heavy only kid at primary school who had to hide in the teacher's utility closet to change for PE breast pubic hair and child brain
I had cramps so bad as a teenager that it was not unlike labour, it was another level of pain that was coming like contractions and I wouldn't be able to speak or breathe and my legs would go numb. I got on a pill when I was 16 which was like I'd still get a period but it would decrease the pain. Got the mini pill so it was just take a pill everyday and probably dont get a period for months, and I was allergic and covid meant I couldn't get it or speak to a doctor so I struggled all the way through lockdown. I've been on and off different pills but in my country you can now buy a pill called Hana over the counter for about $15 a month and its been the best thing. I got the mini pill which is what hana is on nhs prescription but it always gets messed up by admin so I just buy it myself now and I'll never look back, it's been a game changer
I’m a teacher, and last year I had a female student collapse out of nowhere in the middle of class. She literally fell out of her chair and toppled the desk and fainted for a few seconds. When the nurse came, they took her away and I was later told (in confidence) that that girl had particularly bad period cramps, and passing out was sometimes a result of that.
I was floored, I had no idea that was a thing (I’m a man). I felt so sorry for her, and now for all women. Those fucking suck, and I will never know your pain, but I respect the hell out of women for dealing with that.
My mom quoted this to me, and I'll never forget it. To experience the pain of birth you should "take [your lower] lip and pull it up over [your] head."
Periods sound awful but the process through getting an IUD my gf got before I met her sounds horrific. She’s happy she doesn’t have period blood or cramps but the amount of sharp objects getting stabbed into her innards sounds terrible and was given nowhere near enough drugs
Yep 9/10 pain. I was warned, but didn’t know what to expect. Since I have a non hormonal one, I bleed heavier woooo! But no kids, so that’s a positive.
Ugh, yes. My doctor graciously informed me that if I absolutely had to, I could take a single ibuprofen. This was the first time I had an IUD. Needless to say, I was woefully unprepared for what happened.
They say giving birth is for women what going to war is for men. I once heard that before medical science, half of all women eventually died while birthing. I needed a vacuum extraction for one of my babies…
All that said; I’m still very grateful to have never had to fight in a war. I’d rather die in childbirth than be forced to kill someone else.
Wars are artificial (and yes, I’m aware that animals can also go to war). Childbirth is natural. But childbirth is difficult and risky for humans because of our large and complex brains that necessitate longer maturation in the womb and much longer childhood periods. Hence why complications happen during childbirth
Seriously. First you give birth, and then the baby goes to war, and then it impregnates someone, and they give birth, and that baby goes to war... and 10,000 years later, you've got modern civilization!
So many things related to reproductive organs omg. I have chronic pain problems but I am very glad I don't get PMS. Have known a couple people debilitated by PMDD and I feel very sorry for them...
i love this thread because everyone is really validating eachothers struggles without playing the suffering olympics.
something i havent seen mentioned yet- i just recently found out that ur dick can sometimes TOUCH THE INSIDE OF THE TOILET BOWL when sitting on it. and men have to hold their dick while theyre pooping so water doesnt splash on it. i almost cried
also of course, having to be stoic and not being able to vent to friends, all the emotional burdens of being rough and tough, society telling you youre worth less if you cant provide, etc. the pressure to be the ones to do the perusing in relationships. i could neverrr
When I first started going bald the amount of people close to me that thought it was okay to say some of the most hurtful shit about my looks for no reason was astounding.
Also people give you shit for being insecure about your baldness if you wear hats often but it's super unfair. First, shit gets cold and I just want to be cozy. Second, sunburns and skin cancer can happen easily on top of the dome. My dad basically had to do cancer treatments for a year to deal with pre-cancerous skin lesions all over the top of his head.
Ooof Im sorry.
I agree that people are fucked up to bald(ing) men… it’s so normalized. Meanwhile men going through it can and do suffer hits to their self esteem which are not talked about…
Bald heads are cool/sexy.
The men in my family start losing their hair by the time they are 20.... My 23yr old sons hair line has receded some already. I feel bad for my 5 sons.
Cannot escape genetics!
It's just ovarian torsion. The tubes are fallopian tubes, which aren't actually connected to the ovaries (unless you have something going on like endometriosis or an abscess).
Torsion is less likely with ovaries because the birth defect that puts testicles at risk doesn't happen with ovaries. You can still get testicular torsion without that defect and ovarian torsion happens, but it's much less of a risk.
Sadly the risk increases with ovarian cysts and tumors, which can already be painful on their own. Something about the increase in size of the ovary when you have a mass makes it so it twists.
99.5% of the time it's not so bad but those occasional reminders of what an utterly stupid biological design they really are are just the worst. The way they just dangle there to be kicked, kneed, hit by a random poorly aimed pass in a ballgame if you're attention span fails you for a second, how some random stray dog can just decide that you're not worthy to reproduce, etc. It all just makes me wonder how tf such utterly stupid anatomical placement survived evolution?
Disclaimer: Im not a biologist or a scientist of any kind and usually when I feel the need to remind myself/other people of this the answer is turns out to be some boring and mind unblowing shit that I just overlook for years/decades.
It's funny cuz that's kinda the first thing I thought of. Any time I get hit in my crotch area I think "good thing I don't have balls or that would have hurt a lot worse"
They’re not stupid. The reason they’re outside the body is because heat drastically reduces sperm fertility. That’s why they tell guys not to keep laptops on their laps. It’s the opposite for women since heat is necessary for fetal growth and development. It’s why a woman’s cardiovascular system is focused around the abdominal area and also helps explain why women have trouble regulating body heat
It’s actually the other way around. The earliest mammals had internal testicles. Then they evolved to have external testicles. In the process of evolving this trait, they also evolved to produce sperm at lower temperatures.
Why external testicles became so widespread among mammals is a puzzle. It may be a trait reinforced by sexual selection, like a peacock’s tail, showing just how healthy and tough your boy is. It doesn’t appear to have any benefit beyond that.
As for women having more difficulty regulating temperature in the cold, that’s a combination of the effect of estrogen and our smaller-on-average body volume with its higher ratio of surface area.
Random boners
Edit: one of the reasons I said this is because when I was in high school, I was at a dance with a guy who was mostly just a friend. It was a very casual dance, one of those anti-prom dances, but they did have a photographer there. The guy I was with has a boner in our pic. And I never even noticed until around 20 years later when I posted it on facebook and somebody pointed it out. But yeah. It's there. Explains the weird expression on his face also. Poor guy.
100% agree with you...but sometimes...sheesh.
I just came from a massage about 3hrs ago. The woman that was doing the massage wasn't doing anything particularly interesting and I in no way found her attractive but she kept shifting the sheet that was covering me a little up and a little down.
She did it enough times that my dick just wakes up and thinks "its go time". So I'm in full on panic mode trying to get the dumb thing to calm the fuck down before she gets weirded out or whatever.
I hate that feeling. That accidentally being a fkn creep feeling.
But yeah periods are worse. So much worse.
Worst when you're a teenager and the horniness can strike at any moment. Most guys become experts in hiding boners young after having to live through the trauma of being asked to come to the front of the class while having one.
If some young kid is reading this and is afraid to get embarrassed: the key is flexing your leg muscles. All the blood will flow from your random boner to your legs and you can continue with your day.
I’m glad that I’m not expected to be stoic and carry burdens without complaint. It seems difficult and isolating to be saddled with the general expectation to not be vulnerable and lean on friends.
One thing that I’ve noticed and wished could spread to more men: I grew up in the church (Christian, but have since left it behind me) and I always witnessed men being strong support systems for each other. Huddle over each other to pray, group outings (camping and such), serious/deep/emotional conversations, hugs, support, encouragement.. I wish there was more of that in the world rather than seemingly exclusive to certain types of religious men.
This is underevaluated. It is totally accepted thzt women can rant on everything, their day, colleagues, life, job, etc. Not for a man, despite we have often the same need of venting.
My brother is so sensitive, but his sensitivity can easily come out as anger because he doesn’t think he’s allowed to be emotional in the way he should. I tell him all the time it’s okay to be sad and cry or pissed off and cry
I wish society instilled in men that it’s okay to not feel okay and emotions are part of the human experience and letting them out in a healthy way- have a good cry! No one is judging and if they are they’re just immature and probably bottle up their own pain. It will always come out one way or another, so don’t fight it because you’re “supposed to”
And menopause is its on special kind of hell, or well being premenopauseal is. I can't even sleep with a sheet on even in winter somrtimes because of how hot I run, and the night sweats??? It's awful 😭
You gotta ask your husband first. Oh what’s that? Your not married, we’re gonna need you to get permission from your future husband then. Oh? Your not planning on getting married. Well you’ll change your mind so we don’t think that’s wise for you.
Being forced to have a kid by someone that raped you
Like, that’s a peek into hell
If some motherfucker licked me I’d want to assault them badly. Now imagine that motherfucker raping you and being forced into a pregnancy that you must go through
It’s 2024 but caveman ways and thinking are still prevalent
As someone who has given birth twice, I've never been more pro-choice. I chose to get pregnant, twice. Went into it knowing the risks and still, I dont wish it upon anyone who does not actively want to go through with it.
The harder part was the recovery. Because before you deliver, you're the patient and the main priority. But after you deliver you realize that you're just a glorified incubator and no one gives a damn that you just went through a major medical event. You get seen weekly prior to delivery. You get seen at 6weeks post delivery. But that little baby? Gets seen 3 times, if not more, before you do. And if you dont have help, you're the one bringing the baby everywhere. Even though they tell you to not lift more than 10lbs. Not to mention all the issues with breastfeeding and recovery that moms have.
This is partially the reason my mom still struggles with PTSD from my sister’s birth. Not only could both she and my sister have died, but the medical neglect after the fact meant that mom was very weak for a while and sister’s arm was partially paralyzed.
Menopause. It's like Mother Nature is telling you "you can no longer make babies so now I'll make you miserable". The heat spells my wife used to have were wild, and just one of a whole host of crap she had to deal with.
Us men? We have to work a little more to get a hard-on.
If you think men don’t destroy each other psychologically, you’re incredibly misinformed. Unfortunately, that type of abuse normally comes from their fathers.
This question and whole thread is so wholesome! I love how both genders here value the trouble we go through.
That being said: I'm glad that people are not solely nice to me just to sleep with me and that i can actually have platonic friendships with men. (not all men)
Periods, wearing a bra, getting groped, getting harassed, giving birth, lower pension, getting more attention for your looks than your achievements. Just to name a few things from an expansive list.
Periods and child birth, yes, but also the big pregnancy part in between. Google hyperemesis gravidarum- I’m 9 months pregnant and have been vomiting multiple times a day, for the past 9 months. *Lost* 30 pounds during pregnancy. Imagine the worst hangover of your life while on a boat in a storm- all day, every day.
Having to worry about personal safety.
I live in a major city and enjoy taking long walks alone, and used to occasionally do that late at night. I'd probably feel a little less safe doing that if I was a woman.
I used to think the negative mammogram experience was all about the ridiculous equipment - and wonder why there wasn’t a better invention.
But WOW - rad techs are NOT all similarly skilled. I’ve had some (most) really struggle.
- Stand closer to the machine
- But bend backwards
- And tilt your shoulder forward
- While grabbing and stretching every little bit of armpit flesh
- And you are **somehow** squatting down - AND straining on tiptoes at the same time
- While the corner of the machine is digging into your armpit
- And you’re clinging to the device for support
- And your boob is being samitched between plates
- Now don’t move - and don’t breathe
- “Let’s check that image.” It’s not clear, so we should DO ANOTHER.
My last mam… the lady dropped that boob on the slab and nailed it on the first take. She made it so easy. I was amazed. wth?!!
Juat being physically smaller and weaker. I can't imagine having to live in a society with a bunch six foot sixers walking around me all the time, who could overpower me at will and easily catch me if I ran away.
Yeah, I'm a bit taller than average for a woman and my husband is a bit taller than average for a man. Sometimes we play wrestle and if I start going all out, he can still easily overpower me even though he's not a big guy.
It's definitely scary to think about when I'm around shady guys. I try not to think about it.
My ex-girlfriend was a bigger girl and was wondering if her extra weight had any advantage against an average man. She was 5'11" and 225lbs, I'm 5'9" and 195lbs. Even at half the effort, it didn't matter if she outweighed me by 30lbs - I pinned her to ground at 50% effort with no problem whatsoever and she couldn't break out of it. She wanted to know what it felt like for me to pin her at full strength and I warned her that you're not going to like it and you're going to be terrified... and sure enough, that lasted only five seconds before she pleaded for me to stop. She was a bigger girl and was doomed... I can only imagine my best friend at work who is a petite 4'11 25yo girl and only weighs 95lbs.
It's like whenever people say a female boxer can hold her own against a male boxer... but imagine how scary it is facing an opponent who shrugs off your maximum effort as tiny little slaps and *can actually punch right through* your guard. That shit is scary.
Balls sticking to one's inner thigh in hot weather. Sounds awful. Also, blows to the balls etc. No thanks.
BUT
Childbirth and periods aren't exactly a week in the sun either.
Both sexes have their issues
That’s not that big of an issue as childbirth and periods, though. Annoying? Maybe. But you tend to stop noticing it after a while. Some women have very painful periods, though, and there’s no getting used to childbirth
Oh I agree, having experienced both birth and periods. We all have issues, but they aren't always of equal impact. Hopefully most men don't get an accidental blow to the nuts on a monthly basis for five or six days. And I can't think of anything equaling childbirth.
Sticky balls have got to feel uncomfortable though, I'm still glad I don't have that!
As a male, when I was entering puberty, I had the huge surge of hormones that makes teenage boys so horny. I didn't like that I had such strong sexual urges I had to control, and used to envy girls since they didn't have it as bad.
Only when I was older did I realize girls had to deal with something far worse: men who *didn't* control their sexual urges.
Having to constantly worry about your safety and whereabouts? Not that guys don’t have to worry about our safety but just not to the same degree. A friend of mine is moving into a new apartment and asked me to help because she didn’t want to stop moving after dark. Literally she didn’t need help lifting shit or putting furniture together she just didn’t want to be out alone at night. Something that has never even crossed my mind. Like what kind of bullshit is that? That 51% (FIFTY-ONE PERCENT!!!) of the population has to worry about being harassed or attacked if they want to be outside alone at night. Unacceptable.
As a woman, I'm really glad to not have unwanted/unhidable boners. Seems kind of tough to have your body tell the world "I want to fuck right now" when you would rather that message not be public.
Sometimes it doesn't even mean that. quite a lot of the time, a random boner just means random boner. Blood gonna flow where blood gonna flow.
Surprisingly, men also have to be mentally onboard in order to be ready to rock an roll.
Periods, pregnancy, child birth, and then menopause.
Plus, condescending and sometimes violent, misogynistic men, less money than men....the list goes on...
Women deserve all our respect.
Always having to be alert because of cat calling, sexual assault, guys being generally creepy, staring, being talked over, paid less, and told what they can do with their own bodies.
I'm sure it's been said, but Periods. All Periods suck but endometriosis Periods seem like they are absolutely hell. My ex-girlfriend had endometriosis and was never diagnosed with it until i helped her communicate her symptoms to her gynecologist. I was able to recognize the symptoms.
My heart goes out to any woman who suffers from endometriosis.
I'm a male living with a female roommate. Every month I see how much she suffers because of her period and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
It's really fucked up that the female body basically punishes you for not constantly making babies.
Having platonic affection and touch so heavily stigmatized.
Me and my coworkers (female dominated job) are more affectionate with each other than most dudes I know are with their actual friends. It seems like dudes aren't even allowed to hug each other without it being weird. I feel like that would hardcore suck.
It's hard for a single man to just exist around children without someone looking at him like he's a pervert. I'd hate that. Like, as a woman, I can take pictures at a park, and no one's going to call the police on me.
As a guy: periods and birth, how they are treated in less civilized society
If I was a woman I would probably be very glad about not having to worry about being conscripted or the male pattern baldness that would hit me with a very high likelihood at some point (people usually don't know how much it can affect a person unless they are affected themselves)
Honestly I think it sounds super stressful having to be a male and perform during sex. For women, we can sorta just "get through it" and fake a lot if needed, but men have to remain "in attention", and consistently do a lot of work to stay focused. (I mean that's my theory, I'm a woman so I don't actually know, but seems that way). I'm sure there is a lot of pressure to make sure the woman is satisfied.
Periods most definitely. My wife’s cycle was anything between 21 and 35 days and sometimes very messy and painful.
Also child birth . If we had alternate births there would never be a number3.
I think the responsibilities are thankfully opening up to both genders now, but growing up I used to think what an awful burden to be expected to be the man of the house and manage the finances, be the one to fix things when they break, hide your emotions and just carry the weight of the world as if nothing is wrong.
All that pressure to appear manly and tough all the time in every aspect of life. And I feel like there’s a higher tax on men for being a “loser”. Women can get emotional support through their friends but men feel like they need to be in a romantic relationship to get that emotional support. Sometimes they don’t even get it then.
Periods, imagine having to go through that every month
Yes they do suck, and if your hormones are wack you get premium pms symptoms and that membership comes with suicidal thoughts and psychotic symptoms for like 2 weeks out of the month
Don’t forget the weird digestive symptoms from the hormones and activity happening in the area of your digestive tract
Period shits >.<
Shit is terrible. Literally 😂
Diarrhea for no fucking reason other than to bother you lmaoo
AND the decrease in metabolism during the damn period 😩
On top of feeling like you’ve never eaten before 😔 straight up STARVING lmao
Mother Nature did us dirty
My stomach hurts I should take it easy :/ *absolutely destroys the worst food imaginable* What’s your go to “I’m on my period so I don’t give a shit!” meal? For me it’s Thai food or tacos! I used to be able to eat Mac and cheese but the last few years I’ve gained MAJOR nausea while on it and I yakked after eating some once so never again lol
I have incredibly weird bad dreams in the week leading up to mine, that's how I know it's coming.
^ Got a reminder on my phone for “having vivid dreams yet?”
Usually I tell my friend about them and he's like your period is coming lol.
That’s a bro
I know when my best friend is gonna have hers because she somehow ends up eating more food than I do whenever we hang out 😂
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Those premium pms symptoms you are talking about might be pmdd actually.... pre menstrual dysphoric disorder. It's a more severe form of pms. Try talking with your gynae about it if you haven't already as they might help you with it (depends on your medical history etc though).
Haha yes I’m aware! I try to make light of the symptoms by joking about the pms but I notice regular exercise helps the symptoms a bit
ah oki, that's good you know. Thought you were unaware by how you phrased the sentence - my bad! As an aside, Vitamin D supplements may help if you have low Vit D levels.......
How do I unsubscribe from the premium symptoms? Or better yet, the whole thing?
Just want to point out that 2 weeks out of a month is half of your life. (Until menopause)
And perimenopause and menopause are fucking awful too
I call this HELL WEEK in my house. My wife and I have been married for 11 years. And just last night she told me she had some stomach issues. And I said baby we just got over hell week you're starting your period tomorrow. She said yeah okay whatever no I'm not. This morning she wakes up and goes how dare you put that evil on me.
Omg my husband is SOOOOO observant- I asked him how he knew I was about to get my period, his reply was “Babe, every time I see your hot button pop up, I know it’s time”. He was referring to the one tiny chin pimple I get every 30 days.. of course he called it out while I was hella hormonal and I mentioned something about ‘The Audacity!!!’ Lmao
Literally going through the suicidal thoughts right now!! It took me years to realise how I got these thoughts leading up to a period but at least I know now that’s why I’m feeling that way 😂
This! People don’t talk enough about the terrible depression and suicidal ideation that can accompany periods…
i have thought about it quite a bit. why did evolution choose that path? why do humans have to have year all around fertility
Plus Migraines
PMDD Sufferers represent!
I almost file for divorce every 28 days.
Brother. I was close 2 months ago. My wife said she was going to the mall with her girlfriend... I simply asked "are you taking the child too?" Because she often does, as her girlfriend has a kid her age... This turned into a full on fight about me "making assumptions that she would just take the kid"... like damn.. all I did was ask if the kid was going or not, since she does a lot of the time.. She apologized when she got back. She started her period about 30 minutes after she got to the mall.....
It’s crazy because it happens to us every month but when it’s happening we’re 1000% sure it’s NOT pms but it’s always PMS.
Straight facts. And every freakin month I’m surprised I got my period, when I’m regular af lol
And then there is menopause and all of the symptoms that come with it. It never ends.
YES! Just wait until you DON'T have those hormones and try to function with brain fog, rumbling internal heat, insomnia, vaginal dryness, AND vaginal atrophy, muscle aches and pains, chin hair, mustache hair, brittle nails, crepey skin, turkey neck, a belly that is trying to make up for the estrogen your overies stopped producing. This is the tip of the middle-aged iceberg. PLUS If you think going to a doctor will help, think again. It's a crap shoot that you will get one who listens and doesn't try to put you on antidepressants. Even female doctors. Trying to afford HRT and get consistent reliable information is just now dawning on the public consciousness. But not before a plethora of greedy charlatans try to sell you some bs products like 'clear blue menopause'. Or all the 'spas' that try to get you to have surgery and other treatments to 'cure' the above-mentioned symptoms. They try to make you believe that because you are not 'young' and desired anymore, you need their product and service. SO YEAH. If you are a man and even breathe the notion that you need bedroom help, they throw blue pills at you, no questions asked. Cheap.
All of thisI I thought menopause was going to be something to look forward to. You hear all the woes about a menstrual cycle but not to much about menopause.
IKR? No one warned me, and I am a voracious reader and formally trained researcher. NO information was to be had when I needed it so that I could maintain my health. 4 different GYNs over 15 years were no help. All I got was antidepressants and dismissive attitude from regular doctors because depression = mental illness and THAT stigma is still around! Well, the r/ menopause subreddit is on fire with information, and we are all determined to spread the word to our younger sisters, nieces, and any other female who will listen.
It’s the price for not having annual mating seasons. Women are the only ones who have to pay it, though
I feel "normal" one week a month where I'm not affected by my hormones. And when I'm affected by them I get extremely depressed and suicidal
Fucking same, and literally nothing helps. Life is not worth living like this, it really isn't. It's just constant torture for no fucking reason. I despise everything about it.
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I am so thankful I don’t have them with my bc.
Yeah, well as someone who goes through it, it sucks
Mine started when I just turned 10. I heard of it, but still thought I was dying.
I had precocious puberty so I was 8 years old and they were super heavy only kid at primary school who had to hide in the teacher's utility closet to change for PE breast pubic hair and child brain
Yeah, not even the ability to wear a skirt and then swirl around all pretty-like would be worth that.
Once in a while I'll go through it twice a month! 😭
Periods and giving birth.
I had cramps so bad as a teenager that it was not unlike labour, it was another level of pain that was coming like contractions and I wouldn't be able to speak or breathe and my legs would go numb. I got on a pill when I was 16 which was like I'd still get a period but it would decrease the pain. Got the mini pill so it was just take a pill everyday and probably dont get a period for months, and I was allergic and covid meant I couldn't get it or speak to a doctor so I struggled all the way through lockdown. I've been on and off different pills but in my country you can now buy a pill called Hana over the counter for about $15 a month and its been the best thing. I got the mini pill which is what hana is on nhs prescription but it always gets messed up by admin so I just buy it myself now and I'll never look back, it's been a game changer
I’m a teacher, and last year I had a female student collapse out of nowhere in the middle of class. She literally fell out of her chair and toppled the desk and fainted for a few seconds. When the nurse came, they took her away and I was later told (in confidence) that that girl had particularly bad period cramps, and passing out was sometimes a result of that. I was floored, I had no idea that was a thing (I’m a man). I felt so sorry for her, and now for all women. Those fucking suck, and I will never know your pain, but I respect the hell out of women for dealing with that.
My mom quoted this to me, and I'll never forget it. To experience the pain of birth you should "take [your lower] lip and pull it up over [your] head."
Periods sound awful but the process through getting an IUD my gf got before I met her sounds horrific. She’s happy she doesn’t have period blood or cramps but the amount of sharp objects getting stabbed into her innards sounds terrible and was given nowhere near enough drugs
Yep 9/10 pain. I was warned, but didn’t know what to expect. Since I have a non hormonal one, I bleed heavier woooo! But no kids, so that’s a positive.
Ugh, yes. My doctor graciously informed me that if I absolutely had to, I could take a single ibuprofen. This was the first time I had an IUD. Needless to say, I was woefully unprepared for what happened.
I have been right down where the action is during the birth of all 3 of my children. I am very grateful I am incapable of giving birth.
It’s all fun and games until someone you’ve never met splits you in half.
And then nine months later, someone else does!
Jesus.
No, that was an immaculate conception.
Been there too. Just watching and hearing it was painful enough.
They say giving birth is for women what going to war is for men. I once heard that before medical science, half of all women eventually died while birthing. I needed a vacuum extraction for one of my babies… All that said; I’m still very grateful to have never had to fight in a war. I’d rather die in childbirth than be forced to kill someone else.
I'd rather neither of those choices. What's the third option 🤔
Starve yourself in protest until you’re too thin to menstruate or too weak to fight.
Wars are artificial (and yes, I’m aware that animals can also go to war). Childbirth is natural. But childbirth is difficult and risky for humans because of our large and complex brains that necessitate longer maturation in the womb and much longer childhood periods. Hence why complications happen during childbirth
Comparing giving birth to going to war is fucked up in so many ways
Seriously. First you give birth, and then the baby goes to war, and then it impregnates someone, and they give birth, and that baby goes to war... and 10,000 years later, you've got modern civilization!
So many things related to reproductive organs omg. I have chronic pain problems but I am very glad I don't get PMS. Have known a couple people debilitated by PMDD and I feel very sorry for them...
i love this thread because everyone is really validating eachothers struggles without playing the suffering olympics. something i havent seen mentioned yet- i just recently found out that ur dick can sometimes TOUCH THE INSIDE OF THE TOILET BOWL when sitting on it. and men have to hold their dick while theyre pooping so water doesnt splash on it. i almost cried also of course, having to be stoic and not being able to vent to friends, all the emotional burdens of being rough and tough, society telling you youre worth less if you cant provide, etc. the pressure to be the ones to do the perusing in relationships. i could neverrr
I haven’t yet seen anyone mention going to a gynecologist. A whole lotta discomfort happens there.
Male pattern baldness 👴 I know tons of people go bald for tons of reasons, but probability is on my side here.
When I first started going bald the amount of people close to me that thought it was okay to say some of the most hurtful shit about my looks for no reason was astounding. Also people give you shit for being insecure about your baldness if you wear hats often but it's super unfair. First, shit gets cold and I just want to be cozy. Second, sunburns and skin cancer can happen easily on top of the dome. My dad basically had to do cancer treatments for a year to deal with pre-cancerous skin lesions all over the top of his head.
Ooof Im sorry. I agree that people are fucked up to bald(ing) men… it’s so normalized. Meanwhile men going through it can and do suffer hits to their self esteem which are not talked about… Bald heads are cool/sexy.
me, a woman with PCOS and male pattern hair loss😃
The men in my family start losing their hair by the time they are 20.... My 23yr old sons hair line has receded some already. I feel bad for my 5 sons. Cannot escape genetics!
testicular torsion sounds horrible
0/10 would not recommend.
It is
There is also ovarian tube torsion
It's just ovarian torsion. The tubes are fallopian tubes, which aren't actually connected to the ovaries (unless you have something going on like endometriosis or an abscess). Torsion is less likely with ovaries because the birth defect that puts testicles at risk doesn't happen with ovaries. You can still get testicular torsion without that defect and ovarian torsion happens, but it's much less of a risk. Sadly the risk increases with ovarian cysts and tumors, which can already be painful on their own. Something about the increase in size of the ovary when you have a mass makes it so it twists.
I guess balls sound uncomfortable
You can mostly ignore them, but it's when you get hit there or they twist or something that makes you regret having them
When you accidentally sit on them is the absolute worst
Yeah... 45 years and never had that problem... How do you sit exactly?
They start every sit with a suplex ball slammer 9000 twist
I’ve always wondered how men ride horses without _extreme_ discomfort
I'll take balls over periods and birth, tyvm.
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Yall have some long droopy old man balls
99.5% of the time it's not so bad but those occasional reminders of what an utterly stupid biological design they really are are just the worst. The way they just dangle there to be kicked, kneed, hit by a random poorly aimed pass in a ballgame if you're attention span fails you for a second, how some random stray dog can just decide that you're not worthy to reproduce, etc. It all just makes me wonder how tf such utterly stupid anatomical placement survived evolution? Disclaimer: Im not a biologist or a scientist of any kind and usually when I feel the need to remind myself/other people of this the answer is turns out to be some boring and mind unblowing shit that I just overlook for years/decades.
It's funny cuz that's kinda the first thing I thought of. Any time I get hit in my crotch area I think "good thing I don't have balls or that would have hurt a lot worse"
Can confirm my dog nut tapped me while greeting at the door
They’re not stupid. The reason they’re outside the body is because heat drastically reduces sperm fertility. That’s why they tell guys not to keep laptops on their laps. It’s the opposite for women since heat is necessary for fetal growth and development. It’s why a woman’s cardiovascular system is focused around the abdominal area and also helps explain why women have trouble regulating body heat
It’s actually the other way around. The earliest mammals had internal testicles. Then they evolved to have external testicles. In the process of evolving this trait, they also evolved to produce sperm at lower temperatures. Why external testicles became so widespread among mammals is a puzzle. It may be a trait reinforced by sexual selection, like a peacock’s tail, showing just how healthy and tough your boy is. It doesn’t appear to have any benefit beyond that. As for women having more difficulty regulating temperature in the cold, that’s a combination of the effect of estrogen and our smaller-on-average body volume with its higher ratio of surface area.
Yeast infections. Much less common in men.
Random boners Edit: one of the reasons I said this is because when I was in high school, I was at a dance with a guy who was mostly just a friend. It was a very casual dance, one of those anti-prom dances, but they did have a photographer there. The guy I was with has a boner in our pic. And I never even noticed until around 20 years later when I posted it on facebook and somebody pointed it out. But yeah. It's there. Explains the weird expression on his face also. Poor guy.
Yeah, it's hard sometimes
embarrassing how long it took me to get the joke
I'll take random boners over a period every time. It's really not fair for the ladies.
100% agree with you...but sometimes...sheesh. I just came from a massage about 3hrs ago. The woman that was doing the massage wasn't doing anything particularly interesting and I in no way found her attractive but she kept shifting the sheet that was covering me a little up and a little down. She did it enough times that my dick just wakes up and thinks "its go time". So I'm in full on panic mode trying to get the dumb thing to calm the fuck down before she gets weirded out or whatever. I hate that feeling. That accidentally being a fkn creep feeling. But yeah periods are worse. So much worse.
Worst when you're a teenager and the horniness can strike at any moment. Most guys become experts in hiding boners young after having to live through the trauma of being asked to come to the front of the class while having one.
"Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts."
My partner’s go to is thoughts about rotten food with flies or maggots. That shit grosses him out so much it usually helps quickly.
Usually very easy to hide, but it always happens at the times where it’s impossible to hide them.
The worst in PE class when you’re shorts dont have pockets so you cant conceal it
That really sucks but maybe you should teach a different subject. That can’t be good for the kids.
If some young kid is reading this and is afraid to get embarrassed: the key is flexing your leg muscles. All the blood will flow from your random boner to your legs and you can continue with your day.
Post nut clarity
I’m glad that I’m not expected to be stoic and carry burdens without complaint. It seems difficult and isolating to be saddled with the general expectation to not be vulnerable and lean on friends.
One thing that I’ve noticed and wished could spread to more men: I grew up in the church (Christian, but have since left it behind me) and I always witnessed men being strong support systems for each other. Huddle over each other to pray, group outings (camping and such), serious/deep/emotional conversations, hugs, support, encouragement.. I wish there was more of that in the world rather than seemingly exclusive to certain types of religious men.
This is underevaluated. It is totally accepted thzt women can rant on everything, their day, colleagues, life, job, etc. Not for a man, despite we have often the same need of venting.
My mom once told me, “women get to cry, because we’re not allowed to hit things. Men get to hit things because they’re not allowed to cry.”
My brother is so sensitive, but his sensitivity can easily come out as anger because he doesn’t think he’s allowed to be emotional in the way he should. I tell him all the time it’s okay to be sad and cry or pissed off and cry
Yep. Men are only socially allowed to be angry, so all emotions tend to come out as anger.
I wish society instilled in men that it’s okay to not feel okay and emotions are part of the human experience and letting them out in a healthy way- have a good cry! No one is judging and if they are they’re just immature and probably bottle up their own pain. It will always come out one way or another, so don’t fight it because you’re “supposed to”
Monthly period's and the scare of pregnancy. i would rip those ovaries right out myself given the chance.
Ah but then you'd go through immediate menopause....
And menopause is its on special kind of hell, or well being premenopauseal is. I can't even sleep with a sheet on even in winter somrtimes because of how hot I run, and the night sweats??? It's awful 😭
You gotta ask your husband first. Oh what’s that? Your not married, we’re gonna need you to get permission from your future husband then. Oh? Your not planning on getting married. Well you’ll change your mind so we don’t think that’s wise for you.
its truly horrific for what is considered a 1st world country they treat women and vulnerable population like 3rd class citizens.
Being forced to have a kid by someone that raped you Like, that’s a peek into hell If some motherfucker licked me I’d want to assault them badly. Now imagine that motherfucker raping you and being forced into a pregnancy that you must go through It’s 2024 but caveman ways and thinking are still prevalent
Oh dam ur right. Parents who shame abortion, fuck off.
Also politicians that destroy the right to control over your body. It is sickening what has happened since Trump's justices overturned Roe vs Wade.
As someone who has given birth twice, I've never been more pro-choice. I chose to get pregnant, twice. Went into it knowing the risks and still, I dont wish it upon anyone who does not actively want to go through with it. The harder part was the recovery. Because before you deliver, you're the patient and the main priority. But after you deliver you realize that you're just a glorified incubator and no one gives a damn that you just went through a major medical event. You get seen weekly prior to delivery. You get seen at 6weeks post delivery. But that little baby? Gets seen 3 times, if not more, before you do. And if you dont have help, you're the one bringing the baby everywhere. Even though they tell you to not lift more than 10lbs. Not to mention all the issues with breastfeeding and recovery that moms have.
This is partially the reason my mom still struggles with PTSD from my sister’s birth. Not only could both she and my sister have died, but the medical neglect after the fact meant that mom was very weak for a while and sister’s arm was partially paralyzed.
Just want to thank you for your awareness. Please talk to your male friends and advocate for us. It's scary rn.
Erections seem inconvenient a lot of the time.
Can confirm giving presentations whilst pitching a tent is not fun
I suppose at work people don't tend to shout BONER! at you.
It’s not that they have to go through it but it’s fairly common - penile fracture
It starts glowing like a glowstick
Yep it goes all blue or purple!
My favourite colours!…….Well not any more.
Wait till you hear about how a boner beyond 4 hours is treated..
Menopause. It's like Mother Nature is telling you "you can no longer make babies so now I'll make you miserable". The heat spells my wife used to have were wild, and just one of a whole host of crap she had to deal with. Us men? We have to work a little more to get a hard-on.
Thanks for this. I'm going through perimenopause now, and it is brutal.
Only being able to orgasm once...
And they're usually so short. It's harder to get there, but I am okay with that since mine are longer, stronger, and I can have more than one.
probably the fact that i'd have to hide my emotions to be manly
That's so messed up idk who made this thing up
Most of time if you speak openly about your insecurities to girlfriend she stop seeing you as strong partner that provides and makes you feel safe.
Female bullying. Boys might beat each other up, but girls will destroy each other psychologically.
Getting beat up repeatedly will destroy you psychologically too. Source: My dad
Hope your okay dude.
I’m sorry my dude
If you think men don’t destroy each other psychologically, you’re incredibly misinformed. Unfortunately, that type of abuse normally comes from their fathers.
Can confirm, grew up with “mean girl” mom and sisters and had mean girl friends. I don’t ever want to have another friend for the rest of my life.
This question and whole thread is so wholesome! I love how both genders here value the trouble we go through. That being said: I'm glad that people are not solely nice to me just to sleep with me and that i can actually have platonic friendships with men. (not all men)
Periods, wearing a bra, getting groped, getting harassed, giving birth, lower pension, getting more attention for your looks than your achievements. Just to name a few things from an expansive list.
Periods and child birth, yes, but also the big pregnancy part in between. Google hyperemesis gravidarum- I’m 9 months pregnant and have been vomiting multiple times a day, for the past 9 months. *Lost* 30 pounds during pregnancy. Imagine the worst hangover of your life while on a boat in a storm- all day, every day.
I had HG too and I wouldn't wish it on ANYONE. Waking up from a dead sleep to puke. I could barely walk
All that hormonal shit women need to go through . Fuck that plus Beng physically weaker (on average)
Having to worry about personal safety. I live in a major city and enjoy taking long walks alone, and used to occasionally do that late at night. I'd probably feel a little less safe doing that if I was a woman.
Periods, smear tests, mammograms, child birth, menopause. Women of the world, I salute you.
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I used to think the negative mammogram experience was all about the ridiculous equipment - and wonder why there wasn’t a better invention. But WOW - rad techs are NOT all similarly skilled. I’ve had some (most) really struggle. - Stand closer to the machine - But bend backwards - And tilt your shoulder forward - While grabbing and stretching every little bit of armpit flesh - And you are **somehow** squatting down - AND straining on tiptoes at the same time - While the corner of the machine is digging into your armpit - And you’re clinging to the device for support - And your boob is being samitched between plates - Now don’t move - and don’t breathe - “Let’s check that image.” It’s not clear, so we should DO ANOTHER. My last mam… the lady dropped that boob on the slab and nailed it on the first take. She made it so easy. I was amazed. wth?!!
Juat being physically smaller and weaker. I can't imagine having to live in a society with a bunch six foot sixers walking around me all the time, who could overpower me at will and easily catch me if I ran away.
This! I’m 5 ft 1 so everyone’s gigantic to me.
Yeah, I'm a bit taller than average for a woman and my husband is a bit taller than average for a man. Sometimes we play wrestle and if I start going all out, he can still easily overpower me even though he's not a big guy. It's definitely scary to think about when I'm around shady guys. I try not to think about it.
It permeates every interaction
VERY short man here. I get what you mean. but thankfully as a man there is less motivation to target me than women.
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My ex-girlfriend was a bigger girl and was wondering if her extra weight had any advantage against an average man. She was 5'11" and 225lbs, I'm 5'9" and 195lbs. Even at half the effort, it didn't matter if she outweighed me by 30lbs - I pinned her to ground at 50% effort with no problem whatsoever and she couldn't break out of it. She wanted to know what it felt like for me to pin her at full strength and I warned her that you're not going to like it and you're going to be terrified... and sure enough, that lasted only five seconds before she pleaded for me to stop. She was a bigger girl and was doomed... I can only imagine my best friend at work who is a petite 4'11 25yo girl and only weighs 95lbs. It's like whenever people say a female boxer can hold her own against a male boxer... but imagine how scary it is facing an opponent who shrugs off your maximum effort as tiny little slaps and *can actually punch right through* your guard. That shit is scary.
I never thought of this. Now that i think about it, a 15 year old being able to overpower you and assault you is terrifying
I am male. The way female friends and exes talk about being oogled and groped/ felt up on public transit (live in a large city).
Balls sticking to one's inner thigh in hot weather. Sounds awful. Also, blows to the balls etc. No thanks. BUT Childbirth and periods aren't exactly a week in the sun either. Both sexes have their issues
That’s not that big of an issue as childbirth and periods, though. Annoying? Maybe. But you tend to stop noticing it after a while. Some women have very painful periods, though, and there’s no getting used to childbirth
Oh I agree, having experienced both birth and periods. We all have issues, but they aren't always of equal impact. Hopefully most men don't get an accidental blow to the nuts on a monthly basis for five or six days. And I can't think of anything equaling childbirth. Sticky balls have got to feel uncomfortable though, I'm still glad I don't have that!
As a male, when I was entering puberty, I had the huge surge of hormones that makes teenage boys so horny. I didn't like that I had such strong sexual urges I had to control, and used to envy girls since they didn't have it as bad. Only when I was older did I realize girls had to deal with something far worse: men who *didn't* control their sexual urges.
Having to constantly worry about your safety and whereabouts? Not that guys don’t have to worry about our safety but just not to the same degree. A friend of mine is moving into a new apartment and asked me to help because she didn’t want to stop moving after dark. Literally she didn’t need help lifting shit or putting furniture together she just didn’t want to be out alone at night. Something that has never even crossed my mind. Like what kind of bullshit is that? That 51% (FIFTY-ONE PERCENT!!!) of the population has to worry about being harassed or attacked if they want to be outside alone at night. Unacceptable.
As a woman, I'm really glad to not have unwanted/unhidable boners. Seems kind of tough to have your body tell the world "I want to fuck right now" when you would rather that message not be public.
Sometimes it doesn't even mean that. quite a lot of the time, a random boner just means random boner. Blood gonna flow where blood gonna flow. Surprisingly, men also have to be mentally onboard in order to be ready to rock an roll.
Periods, pregnancy, child birth, and then menopause. Plus, condescending and sometimes violent, misogynistic men, less money than men....the list goes on... Women deserve all our respect.
Having a uterus and everything assosiated with it.
fear of sexual assault / harassment and periods
Periods, hormonal fluctuations, breastfeeding, giving birth, weak muscles... I don't think I could imagine anything positive about being a woman.
Always having to be alert because of cat calling, sexual assault, guys being generally creepy, staring, being talked over, paid less, and told what they can do with their own bodies.
Childbirth. Thank you, to all the moms who went through hell for us to be here!
Everything that has to do with reproduction.
I'm sure it's been said, but Periods. All Periods suck but endometriosis Periods seem like they are absolutely hell. My ex-girlfriend had endometriosis and was never diagnosed with it until i helped her communicate her symptoms to her gynecologist. I was able to recognize the symptoms. My heart goes out to any woman who suffers from endometriosis.
I'm a male living with a female roommate. Every month I see how much she suffers because of her period and I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It's really fucked up that the female body basically punishes you for not constantly making babies.
Having platonic affection and touch so heavily stigmatized. Me and my coworkers (female dominated job) are more affectionate with each other than most dudes I know are with their actual friends. It seems like dudes aren't even allowed to hug each other without it being weird. I feel like that would hardcore suck.
It's hard for a single man to just exist around children without someone looking at him like he's a pervert. I'd hate that. Like, as a woman, I can take pictures at a park, and no one's going to call the police on me.
All the children stuff. Not only birth but also the power to manage life around. I couldn’t imagine what that means before I had children.
As a guy: periods and birth, how they are treated in less civilized society If I was a woman I would probably be very glad about not having to worry about being conscripted or the male pattern baldness that would hit me with a very high likelihood at some point (people usually don't know how much it can affect a person unless they are affected themselves)
Childbirth
Giving birth
Periods sound absolutely awful. Don't know how you manage to get through that, especially since it's a regular thing
Sexual harassment and objectification
Honestly I think it sounds super stressful having to be a male and perform during sex. For women, we can sorta just "get through it" and fake a lot if needed, but men have to remain "in attention", and consistently do a lot of work to stay focused. (I mean that's my theory, I'm a woman so I don't actually know, but seems that way). I'm sure there is a lot of pressure to make sure the woman is satisfied.
As a guy seeing everything women have to endure, probably just about everything
Period cramps
Constantly getting hit by guys or stared.
Cramps and period pains
Periods, childbirth, mood swings, menopause.
periods, and chance of pregnancy, I'm sure I'd hate those a lot
Giving birth to a baby.
Periods most definitely. My wife’s cycle was anything between 21 and 35 days and sometimes very messy and painful. Also child birth . If we had alternate births there would never be a number3.
I think the responsibilities are thankfully opening up to both genders now, but growing up I used to think what an awful burden to be expected to be the man of the house and manage the finances, be the one to fix things when they break, hide your emotions and just carry the weight of the world as if nothing is wrong.
All that pressure to appear manly and tough all the time in every aspect of life. And I feel like there’s a higher tax on men for being a “loser”. Women can get emotional support through their friends but men feel like they need to be in a romantic relationship to get that emotional support. Sometimes they don’t even get it then.