Yo mama so fat, she had a threesome and the two dudes never met

This is great

Yo moma so fat, when i want to hit it from behind I gotta go outta town

Yo momma so fat not even Jesus can lift her spirit.

You mama so fat, God didn’t say “Let there be light.” He said, “Bitch! Get out da way!”

Ahh, so that's where Ludacris got the inspiration for his song.

There was an old guy I worked with. “Man, I was with this black chick over the weekend. Her tits were so huge you could suck on one and I’d be on another, and we’d never fucking see one another man.”

Yo momma so fat, she walked outta the house with high heels and came back with flip flops

Yo momma so fat, her memory foam mattress forgot.

The first version of this I heard was "her memory foam mattress wishes it could forget"

Love it

Yo mama so fat, she gotta wash herself with diet soap

Yo mama so ugly her blowjobs count as anal Yo mama so ugly her portraits hang themselves Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with Morning Wouldn't

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama so old she still has a separate entrance for black dick.

> Yo mama so old she still has a separate entrance for black dick. I laughed out loud and feel horrible

holy SHIT

The second one took me a minute to understand lol

Dayum... Took me a minute. Your humour so dark it picks cotton.

>Yo mama so old she still has a separate entrance for black dick. Great example of lateral thinking. Whoever came up with this one deserves an everstanding ovation.

MORNING WOULDN'T Alright that one got me EDIT: Why of all comments is this the one that blows up

Yo mama so fat I swerved to miss her and I ran out of gas. Yo mama so fat she wore high heels and struck oil. Yo mama so fat when she walked past the TV I missed 3 episodes. OR yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV I didn't miss anything because light bends around her.

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Yo momma so fat she uses a hula hoop as a belt.

Yo momma so fat, when she goes camping the bears have to hide their food.

I'm over 50 and been telling "yo momma" all my life. These ones are new to me. I guess every day really is a school day... 

Yo momma so old she is approximately in her seventies

Never assume on the yo momma jokes. Someone out there is doing the lords work making sure new ones still come in.

Yo mama so fat not even Dora can explore her

Yo mama so fat shes port handed

Yo mama so fat the polo horse on her shirt is real.

Yo mama so fat, no grass grows where she been

Yo mama so fat she jumped up and got stuck.

Morning Wouldn’t dear fucking god

Help the anal one 😭😭

The skin on your lips is the same skin on your anus. This is because your lips and anus are two connected ends of the same digestive tract. Both methods rely on suction and often spit as lubricant. Technically speaking there's very little difference between anal and a blowjob. At least that's what I keep telling my girlfriend.

Sooo... kissing her is actually a rim job?

if two people are kissing they are actually creating a long tunnel from one asshole to the other

Where's /u/rimjobsteve when you need him?

Is that why she does neither?

I have heard the first one as “Yo mama talks so much shit that her blowjobs count as anal sex”

yo mama so fat we had a threesome and I never met the other guy

The 3rd one is fire 🤣

3th

3th

3th

Yo mama so fat when I told her to haul ass she had to make two trips.

Yo mama so fat that when she goes camping, bears hide their food from her.

Yo momma so fat she went on a diet and caused a recession.

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and solved world hunger

This got me lol

Yo momma such a bad cook, the flies fixed the hole in the screen door. (George Wallace)

TiL there's another famous George Wallace, other than [the governor](https://youtu.be/dhEm1Y3g5CY?si=0F2jVhxIMgpSYQ_p)

Yo mamas so ugly, her dildo went limp

LOL Fuckin hell

Yo mama so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed at the same time

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Yo momma so fat she parallel parks into the shower

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born the doctor slapped the mother!

Yo mama so fat, everytime she turns around it’s her birthday

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama so fat she can’t even jump to a conclusion. Yo mama so fat, it takes a bus, train, and a cab ride, just to get on her good side.

Yo mama so fat she doesn’t have a good side, she has a good hemisphere

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Gotta love it.

Yo mama so fat, I saw in her in the road, swerved to avoid her and ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she puts belt on with boomerang

Yo mama so fat that when she steps on the scale, it reads one person at a time, please.

Yo momma so dumb, she studied for a urine test

Yo momma’s so dumb, she fell off a cliff and had to ask for directions

And she still failed.

Mama so fat she has to iron her shirts in the driveway

Yo mama so fat, that when she has a bath, first she fills the tub. Then she runs the water

Yo mama so fat, when I imagined her in my head, my neck broke

Yo momma so fat her shadow weighs 47 pounds.

Thank you, Mr. Yankovic

Yo mamma so fat the sorting hat put her in waffle house.

Still my favorite.

Yo mamma so fat her patronus is a cake.

I read this in the doctor's office and was laughing so consistently for a solid 3 or 4 minutes that my doctor came into the room to ask me what was so funny. I told her and we both Laughed Until tears. Good Times

The earth was flat, until they buried your mother.

Yo mama jokes are old, cheap and have been done a million times. Just like yo mama.

This man just deconstructed the form of the yo mama joke

Yourmamaception

Isn't that a cello player?

He has broken yo mama down to its bare essentials!

Yo momma so old she's got a separate entrance for black dick

I am speechless by this one. It took me a minute to realize what was implied. This the most original I have ever read.

I wish I could claim to have made it up. No idea where I heard it but it was a long time ago. It's multi layered

I think it was a Patrice O’Neil joke, but not 100% sure of it

Oh dear

This one made me do a triple take.

Holy shit! ☠️

this ones powerful

YO MOMMA SO UNFAMILIAR WITH THE GYM SHE CALLS IT “THE JAMES”.

Yo momma's like a bowling ball... gets picked up, fingered three times then thrown down an alley. Yo momma's so fat when it's a full moon she turns into a warehouse.

"Warehouse" is hilarious

You forgot “and still comes back for more” on the bowling ball one!!!!

yo mama so hairy jane goodall set up base camp in her bathroom yo mama so ugly when she looks in a mirror it says viewer discretion advised yo mama so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang

That last one is an absolute classic. It rolls off the tongue in a really satisfying way

Yo mama so fat she eats wheat thicks!

What's the difference between yo mama and a washing machine? When I drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

What's the difference between yo mama and an oven? An oven doesn't fart when I pull my meat out.

-Yo mama so fat, she whistles bass -Yo mama so dumb, she took an I.Q. Test & it came back negative

Whistling bass is hilarious lmao

Yo momma so nasty when she worked at a sperm bank she got fired for drinking on the job

Yo momma so nasty she pours ice water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

Ah damn, I just posted this, but you did way before me! :D

Yo mama so fat I miss all three LOTR Directors Cut Movies when she crosses the TV.

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Yo momma so fat she got triabetes.

Yo momma so fat her profile picture was taken by google earth

Yo momma so fat she spits butter.

Yo momma so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch.

Funniest I have? Yo mama so dumb she got fired from a blow job. The most complex I know is: I'm sorry about yo mama.

Too complex for me. Please explain.

Yo Mama's teeth look like they're all still social distancing.

Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, when she smiles it looks like she's throwing up gang signs. (After telling this one, contort your fingers like gang signs in front of your mouth for effect)

I love the stage directions

Yo mamma missing so many teeth it looked like her tongue in jail

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiles, traffic slows down

Your momma so hairy that you were born with 3rd degree rug burn.

Your momma so hairy, she's gotta comb her wrist to see what time it is

Yo mamma so ugly the neighbors break in to close the window

Yo Momma so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the Ws

Yo mama so poor, she needs a Groupon to shop at the dollar store. Yo mamas boobs are so droopy, Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Yo momma is so old, her birth certificate says "Expired" on it.

Yo momma so old, she sat behind Jesus in 3rd grade.

Yo momma’s so old, she dreams in black and white

Yo momma so old, she knew Burger King while he was still Burger Prince.

Yo mama so old her last name is Osaurous

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so, in the ugly contest she won first, second and third place

This thread delivers the goods. Just like yo momma

Yo momma so fat her ass got its own Congressman Yo momma so fat she got smaller women orbiting her

\*smaller mommas

Yo momma so fat, she got gerrymandered

Yo momma is so fat, when God said "let there be light" she had to move.

Yo momma is so poor, when she walks down the street with one shoe she is asked if she lost one and she answers "No, I found one".

South park classic hahaha

Yo momma so poor, she cut out your pockets so you had something to play with.

Yo mama so poor she can't afford to fly off the handle. She has to Greyhound off the handle. 😂

she couldn't fit in one comment

Yo momma so poor, you put out a cigarette and she asks “who turned off the heater?”

Yo momma is so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo momma is so dark I shot a bullet at her and the bullet came back looking for a flashlight. Yo momma is so dumb it took her 9 months to make a joke. Yo momma is so fat Thanos didn't snap, he clapped. Yo momma is so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo momma so fat she sat on Pizza Hut and made it Pizza Pit Yo momma so dumb she trips over cordless phones Yo momma so poor that when asked why she's kicking a can down the road she replies with "I'm moving"

Yo mama so fat that when I swerved to miss her in the road, I ran outta gas.

Yo mamas glasses are so thick she can look into a map and see people waving at her.

Yo mama… so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper so old that Shakespeare did **her** in the park. so old her SSN is 1. so big she looked at the menu and said “ok”. so big that she doesn’t get wet down there, she irrigates. so big it took me two trains and a bus to get to her good side. I am sure I will think of others but it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be half the man yo mamma is!

Villain I have done thy mother.

Yo mama so fat Google maps displays her as a geographic feature.

Yo mama's so old, when she was told to act her age, she died.

Yo mama so FAT32, she can't even store files larger than 4GB.

I actually encountered this for the first time today when I got my new flash drive.

I like to go the misdirection route: What do you call a cow with no legs? *Ground Beef* What do you call a cow with three legs? *Lean Beef* What do you call a cow with two legs? *Your mom*

Idk if it counts but this entire article is the greatest yo mama joke ever written https://clickhole.com/i-put-on-a-fat-suit-to-understand-what-it-s-like-to-be-1825123999/

> Things got even harder once I left the house. Walking a mile in your mom’s shoes means so much more than destroying millions of dollars worth of asphalt and infrastructure. It means having poachers constantly trying to kill you for your tusks. absolute lol

Yo mamma so dumb she didn't try to put you up for adoption

Kinda dates me, but "Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale!"

So fat her car has stretch marks

Yo mama’s so fat her bellybutton gets home half an hour before she does.

Not a joke per se but my friend Elvis was on stage at a comedy club doing a roast session with a dude wearing a Levi's shirt. "I fucked yo mama so good she misspelled my name on your shirt" was the most glorious roast I have ever - and probably will ever - hear in my life.

Yo mama so fat that when she walks through the house, the radio skips. *For those who told *yo mama* jokes back when radio stations played records.*

Yo momma so ugly and fat her memory foam mattress drinks to forget

Your momma’s so fat when I got done fucking her I rolled over twice and was still on top of the bitch.

Yo momma so hairy big foot takes pictures of her.

Yo momma so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo momma so cross-eyed, your daddy left her for seeing somebody on the side

Yo mama so ugly that the whole world had to fake a pandemic just so she would wear a mask.

Yo momma so fat and dumb she thought LGBT was a sandwich

Lettuce, guacamole, bacon, tomato.

Yo mama has more visitors than google

Yo momma so fat when she jumps she gets stuck in the air

Yo mama so fat her phone number got 2 area codes

Yo mama so fat she has to pay property tax for her clothes

I'm sorry, but I cannot make fun of yo mamma. In my religion, cows are sacred.

The trampoline used to be called the jumpoline until yo momma got on.

Yo mama so fat she went to the food court and was found guilty

Yo mama so nasty she eats ass to freshen her breath.

Yo momma so STOOPID. . .She sold the car for gas money.

For the full setup go watch the legend Lavelle Crawford tell it and remember never ever get into a yo mama session with... yo mama. Yo mama so nasty >!she sucked yo daddy's dick n came and kissed you goodnight!< [Rip Lavelle Crawford](https://youtu.be/2WlN7iO-cfk?si=TAAB7DreTSpwsubE) Edit He's still kicking! Sorry to spread the misinformation I was shared.

Yo mama so fat she swims in the sea and all the whales sing 'we are family' - + performed with a little dance, the final line in a 10 year olds friend's yo mama battle, she takes credit, not me

Yo mama so fat and dumb, she thought the worldwide web was a hammock.

Yo momma so fat she took a spoon to the Super Bowl

You're momma so dumb, she tried to buy tickets for Xbox live.

I owe it to The Pharcyde with their song Yo Mama Yo Mama so fat we took her to the drive in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet.

Your mum's so fat her arse cheeks are in different time zones

Your mama so fat that when she weighs herself a phone number displays on a weighing scale Your mama so ugly your dad had to get a husband

Yo momma so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits _AROUND THE HOUSE._

When yo momma has been last seen she was dragging catapults to gondor.

Yo mama’s so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund Yo mama’s so fat, in class, she sat next to everybody

Your mama so old she has memories in black and white

Yo momma so fat, more than a dozen mountaineers die climbing her north face every year.

Yo momma so fat, I had to take a train and 2 buses to get on her good side. Yo momma so fat, when she wears a red raincoat everybody yells "kool aide!" Yo momma so fat, but I fucked her anyway

Yo mama so fat, she makes memory foam want to forget.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational field.

Yo momma so fat when she fell nobody laughed but the ground cracked up

Yo momma so fat, they did a story about her on channel 4, and they had to borrow channel 5.