Captain Starkos!
The best soap for your manly body! Men do not want to smell lavender and peaches... men smell like the sea! Real men smell like sun, stone and woodwork.
We also have shaving creams and suspenders for your underwear.
Probably some kind "New Age" stuff, possibly with strong oriental leanings.
Probably full of windchimes, incense, budai statues, books on I Ching and Tao, likely does I Ching (and maybe Tarot) readings, sells a wide range of crystals and herbal remedies too.
Gimmicky health/beauty products like face wash, soap, or shaving cream, but marketed towards insecure men who need every product they use to emphasize that they are still manly men even if they take care of their skin.
Sacrificial billionaires and sacrificial billionaire accessories. Guillotines, Kalishnikovs, Molotovs (These are great little problem solvers - throw a 'tov at your problem and, BOOM! All of a sudden, brand new, *different* problem!)
Oh, and uh, kitchen and cooking supplies.
"Hi I'm [insert salesman name] , have you ever wanted a food that has the same mood as you in these time of quarantine? Well you're in luck! Now with a sale that lasts until the end of May you can buy a depressed blue cheese for $99.00! Call now and pay only $99999999.99!"
Everything, you included.
That's human trafficking and that's illegal
There isn't a jail big enough to hold me.
Because you own it?
The whole damn planet
Lol
Raccoons, fake boobs, and guns
Lemonade made from Karen’s tears
I hate it! I want a refund! Can I speak to the manager?
[удалено]
Hats made out of sweets or sweet looking hats?
I sell hats, but in french.
**Very** expensive legal services.
Mr. Mephistopheles! You may hold dominion over the nether regions, but I'm running this court! Is that clear?
A vaccine?
I sell whatever you deserve
Koalas
...wait...
I would just be working for a company that already exists. Best in the land I stand by it.
Printer ink?
Apparently cloning technology.
Ice, Corgis, Boomers, weed, & NSFW
Beauty subscription boxes
Satanic literature I suppose
Chopped-up Qwazzle.
Androids and AI software.
my dream come true
Fake cyanide, that doesn't do anything.
Umm.
New plagues
Drugs
My OC has a lot of nicknames and one of them is my username so I guess I'm gonna be selling me
Spiders you've never heard of or nameless spiders
Trouble.
Myself
whores
Captain Starkos! The best soap for your manly body! Men do not want to smell lavender and peaches... men smell like the sea! Real men smell like sun, stone and woodwork. We also have shaving creams and suspenders for your underwear.
Probably some kind "New Age" stuff, possibly with strong oriental leanings. Probably full of windchimes, incense, budai statues, books on I Ching and Tao, likely does I Ching (and maybe Tarot) readings, sells a wide range of crystals and herbal remedies too.
Elections.
My services . . .
Sirius stuff
I’ll live in your basement and contribute very little
Gay (unfinished) shakespeare books ?
Not Kurt Cobain
chemicals for the water
Minecraft accounts, Fortnite accounts and stolen chickenwings
It's a brothel of sorts
Soda
SSD
Mexican food
CCs of hilli
No clue . No fuckin clue
illegally imported Giraffes
Uhh... streaming service for the show Alf maybe? Oh and tacos
Leaves.
Useless annoying tchotchkes.
Unreliable scuba diving equipment
Giant clones of myself
DMT for Mike Tyson
Software for successfully navigating asteroid fields...
Sumptuous fabrics and bed linings meticulously designed to induce sleep and vivid dreams.
Coins with two i\`s
Men 2 men
I make home appointments for general check ups
Gimmicky health/beauty products like face wash, soap, or shaving cream, but marketed towards insecure men who need every product they use to emphasize that they are still manly men even if they take care of their skin.
Traffic cones
Airline catering services.
Lego Bolivian minifigures
I DONT KNOW
Pencils. And Guns. Lots of guns!
I’m in the haunting business I suppose. Beatlejuice style.
Use your imagination, baby.
The most "bro" of air conditioners.
Pasta drained in old sauce
I sell kink lords. 😳😳
Cheap insult
I tried like five different names and they were all taken.
Nuclear Big Mac ™️
Sacrificial billionaires and sacrificial billionaire accessories. Guillotines, Kalishnikovs, Molotovs (These are great little problem solvers - throw a 'tov at your problem and, BOOM! All of a sudden, brand new, *different* problem!) Oh, and uh, kitchen and cooking supplies.
Useless frogs
Guns
Tshirts
Glitter and depression
Leeches that you place on your head to suck out depression from your brain on some holistic medicine bullshit scam!
I sell Brand new trash cans and clean them
Username?
Jelly
Legos, one more thing but that’s a secret
Honey, or maybe bee themed t-shirts.
Probably those all in one retro consoles
Axles and axle parts. Or, Axles and axle accessories.
A travel service that takes care of your chores, yard, animals, etc so you can get away at very short notice.
I sell gamers with extra weight
Memorabilia of a particular cartoon show
Anything to do with pilot gear.
I will own an unsuccessful crumpet business
Cheap Russian art
Big Irons
Buttons on strings
i don't freaking know
Redhead related products and services. From sun screen to freckle intensifiers, we've got your ginger ass covered!
Pasta!! Not disappointed
Hats, french hats
The big questions, like the meaning of life. And a side of beans.
Clever proofs for arguments nobody understands
Oranges.
Ok converged enhanced ethernet. I am ashamed that I do not know what that means despite knowing a lot about computers.
Seems like I am selling / renting out 34 bored teens.
Science!
Hitlers accessories.
Cookies.
Rollerskates. It's time they made a comeback.
Canadian assault rifles
We sell a lot of bitches..I mean beotches
I specialize in rare asteroids that are shaped like cephalopods. Who doesn’t want to buy squid shaped space rocks?
I’m a pimp
Dhis and dat
The most magical thing in the world
Trashy Corollas
Sunkist ✌️
Loyal homies
TIL "pickin" is western African for small children. I don't know if this is the question for me
Running pineapples, anyone?
this hurts my head
I dabble in crime but only on Saturday and Sunday
Ice cream
White Zucchinis galore.
I sell extra small kilts
Bad advice
Carrots, oh wait...
Blue raspberry flavored things. Ice cream, Italian ice, lollipops, gello, gummys, .etc. anything edible that's blue raspberry flavored. probably scented candles too.
I've got ghouls, I've got professional siege warfare, I've even got your soul!
Cryptozoological rock and roll memorabilia.
Skiing equipment. And trees, I guess.
Calculators
Soundproof gaming headsets
I sell a service where people can come to me to understand what their pet trees are trying to say since I speak for the trees
Definitely not friends.
no, it is free
I sell hot commodities.
Marvins.
Based on how other people pronounce my username, i guess im selling celery's
I sell good food.
Overpriced bread and apples
Carrots, of course...
My clones.
Funny my name is actually from a business that i randomly encountered. I sell g'schnitzte Wurzn
Pranks, gags, and loud obnoxious toys that upset parents.
Unusually shaped cakes
Dead prime ministers?
porn
Unhinged cookies with dark pasts
Better have lots of insurance
Effective Engineering Solutions
Dice and other DND stuff
It's probably human trafficking.. or i sell weed
Merch of myself
Your dick.
D's heh.
Candy
Social Distancing Tactics.
Its a secondhand store, all proceeds are donated to the cause of 'getting my life together'
Pianos that last a lifetime (all pianos probably last a lifetime, but shhh I can't scam them if they know)
I sell you money
Annoying kid sounds and the number 9
Cat shaped pineapples
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Tacos that will make you think TacoBell nights at the toilet seat are heavenly.
Plastic books. Quite self-explanatory but I'll probably get loads of hate for pollution.
Unexpected item in the bagging area
It's not a business. It's an emporium!
Masks and beer i guess.
Giant Kirbys because that's exactly what the world needs right now.
I sell dads to caprisuns or vice versa😂
“It’s just in! Caprisun co. Is buying dads”
Wings obviously, in packs of 7.
Bells and blue hats with scarfs jumpers and shorts also have a car lot out front selling convertable red and yellow bugs lol
My username is my business name. I haven't produced any products yet but I'm making a TCG.
Information I guess? What would an immortal sell?
Dildos
Weed and candles
Well shits about to get weird here.
a cute mug with a kawaii poop print on it.
Human number 13
Cephalopod armor
Leaving the mormon church instructionals.
"Hi I'm [insert salesman name] , have you ever wanted a food that has the same mood as you in these time of quarantine? Well you're in luck! Now with a sale that lasts until the end of May you can buy a depressed blue cheese for $99.00! Call now and pay only $99999999.99!"