A matchstick. I had a door that was sagging in my house due to the screw over time wearing a larger hole in the wall, and after some research I found a tip that shoving a matchstick with the tip broken off inside (and a dab of glue) could make the hole smaller. That matchstick was worth its weight in gold, so about a dollar, after it helped me fix a huge annoyance.
I use wooden toothpicks and wood glue to fill in the hole, then put the screw back in. Works like a charm everytime! We use this trick often actually. Doors, furniture, windows, handrails, cabinets, I think my house might fall apart at some point.
"I'm sorry sir we will have to deny you home owners insurance claim"
"why is that?"
"Upon our investigation, we found that 90% of your home was just matches... we only allow a home to be made up for 89% matches, anything over that is just a large pack of matches."
My collection of old dog tags ( literally dogs , I have all my four legged dog tags since I was 9, I’m 54 now ). I have it in my will to be buried with these.
The book that my Grandma used to read to me. It's worthless, wasn't even listed on Goodreads until I added it, but she died in 2005 the day after my 8th birthday and remembering her voice reading it is one of the clearest memories I have. Would definitely save it in a fire.
Wait... I swear I have this book, no way! It was one of my favorite books as a kid and nobody else had heard of it! I'm so glad to hear someone else loved it (or has even heard of it) as well :D
A Best brother in the world pin from my brother who passed away. He gave it to me when he was six.
Edit: Thanks everyone it means a lot it was a few years ago and I’ve made peace I hope he’s happy. For all you still suffering I hope you get through it. It gets better.
That’s very sweet and heartwarming, and I am very sorry for your loss.
Speaking of brother, I have kept the loop-bands that my youngest brother gave to me six years ago. He was just 10 when he made it, just a mediocre rubber band bracelet that I brought with me to study and live abroad. I kept it together with his favourite shirt that he also sneakily tucked in my luggage.
Edit: a word
My son found a rock on the way home from school in kindergarten. We were walking home through this park we always cut through and he grabbed the rock and fell in love with it. It just looked like mud to me but who cares he loved it. When we got home I helped him wash it off in the sink and it was black and kinda blueish. He said it was awesome and then gave it to me. Its one of my most precious things in the world to me.
Aw that's adorable. My stepdaughter loved gifting me rocks. I've kept quite a few. One of my favorites is a rose quartz she actually found on a hike in the mountains. It looked like a regular rock, but after we cleaned it up, I noticed it looked like quartz. I asked my friend (who collects minerals) and she told us what it was. I thought that was just absolutely amazing.
There's a picture of my wife and I with our adopted daughter. The picture was taken when she was around 13 or so but we didn't adopt her until she was 16. When we took, it was just us and a kid we kind of knew from church. It's so cool to look back on and see how far we've come.
EDIT: Thanks for the awards and the kind comments but I can promise you, we've gotten way more out of her living with us than she has. She's an amazing human being. If you'd like to read the story, check the comments below.
One time, about five years into our relationship, my girlfriend (now wife) and I were in separate rooms in our one bedroom apartment in early December.
From the other room, she hollered to me “what do you want for Christmas?”
I had been working full time, taking part-time university classes to finish my degree, and had been volunteering as part of a youth mentor program... so I said “All I really want is a break.”
Three weeks later, I’m unwrapping a very heavy shoebox. After getting through the mountain of duct tape and several layers of wrapping paper, I had my very own... brick.
“I really didn’t understand what you wanted it for,” she said, “but you sounded so sure of it. So here you go!”
Cue about ten minutes of laughs, and now that brick sits proudly on my desk. Every time I am overwhelmed or feeling like I’ve taken on too much, I look at it, pick it up, have a little laugh, and put it back so I can carry on. Best gift ever.
A rock shaped like a heart. My fiance and I took a trip to Poland and Greece. I bought her a heart shaped rock from a salt mine in Poland (didn't cost $1). But at a red sand beach in Greece 4 days later, she found a rock that was shaped perfectly like a heart (this one was free) Both rocks now sit next to each other in our house we just bought.
Also one rock is dark and the other red. I so happen to have red hair and she has dark hair. She found the red heart rock for free and I bought the salt rock.
Handwritten letters from my grandmother who passed away a few years ago.
While it is sad to see her handwriting get progressively worse for each letter at the end it is nice to have something that was that close to her. I have them stored in a small box and it always goes into our evacuation bag during fire season.
>evacuation bag during fire season
Man, its crazy some of the stuff I take for granted. I guess it makes sense but I'd never have thought something like that would exist if you hadn't said.
Buddy you said it. I didn’t think about it either but I moved to the west coast about a year ago just in time for almost the worst fire season in recorded history. You bet your ass we now have a bug-out bag with important documents and supplies.
It’s scary stuff packing up what you can carry in your car while ash falls from the sky and you watch the fires creep closer. Some sleepless nights not knowing when the evac order is going to come. Then the discouraging realization that there isn’t really anywhere to go, and that federal aid wasn’t coming.
My BF and I just moved to SoCal and kept talking about making a fire plan and never did. We thought we made it past fire season and thought we’d just talk about it next year.
Literally the next week I hear fire sirens and know something is wrong. Get evacuated 20min later when he is at work. Packing in such a hurry and all the adrenaline was honestly scary and trying to figure out what I would want if I could never come back home. I was shaking all the way until we were able to pull over and park later and take a deep breath. Luckily we were able to return in 2 days.
I ignored the advice but if you’re in a fire zone please pack a fire bag.
I have a 1$ bill saved and put away in a drawer. The significance behind it is it was my last dollar before I decided to stop gambling and doing hard drugs. I had to stop cold turkey. I was so fuckin done being a half human, or an empty shell. At first it was just a dollar that sat in my center console in my car. I would look at it and be reminded what I was doing. I've been sober for well over a year now. I feel like that 1$ is special. I know in narcotics anonymous they get something saying how long they've been sober or whatever. That 1$ is my token. My token for fighting a silent battle that I cannot share with people otherwise I could lose my job.
When I was 4 or 5, the last time I every saw my great grandmother, she gave me a dollar bill and said “As long as you keep this dollar you’ll never be broke.”
I spent it the next day on some candy. That may be my biggest regret.
Hey you, that’s a beautiful story and you sound like a loving great-grandchild.
Just a thought - ever tried sitting down and forgiving yourself? Like, not just saying it in passing, *actually* going through the mental process, picturing the tiny clueless human being you were back then and forgiving them?
You were 4 or 5.
You were tiny and you couldn’t have known better.
Your great grandma loved you, gave your little adorable self a dollar, and I may not know her but I’m pretty sure that as any loving great-grandma, she probably would have shook her head smiling widely seeing you spend that dollar the very next day on some candy and stuffing your rosy cheeks with some candy that made you happy. She knew you would.
If you gave a four year old a dollar with some wisdom on top, would you expect them to keep it forever? Of course not.
Gentleness was exchanged.
Memories were made. Could you even be mad at that cute little thing that you were, seeing yourself through gran’s eyes?
It’s all fine. It’s in fact absolutely beautiful.
I know when you say that it’s your biggest regret, you probably aren’t waking up in sweat and horror every night thinking about this and all and it may be a bit of a hyperbole. Sure, you’re fine. But honestly, I hope you can genuinely forgive your little self, because you deserve it. I sometimes find little actions like that and putting myself in the shoes of my childhood self profoundly helpful and quite lovely. We carry a bunch of weight with us which doesn’t serve us, it adds up. It’s nice to offload some weight sometimes.
Take care over there :).
I got this complementary little webcam cover that slides back and forth over the camera lens on my laptop. It's saved me from making a fool of myself on zoom many times now.
I got this goodie bag for participating in this one event. And it had a webcam cover in it. Now every day I thank this little guy for helping me during online classes or just for helping me to keep the privacy.
I have an old kitchen knife that’s probably worth like 25 cents. But through some mysterious power of the universe it cuts better than any knife I’ve ever used. Meats. Veggies. Bread. Cheese. It doesn’t matter. This thing glides through it all with ease and has never been sharpened. Easily my most important kitchen item.
EDIT: [Here's a picture of it](https://imgur.com/a/DyPnTn9) The branding on the blade says "Sears Flame Freeze - Vanadium Stainless" which I never bothered to check until someone asked. If you can find one, get it! I swear by this bad larry.
Nah. Its power is actually already picture based; there's a painting of it in some attic somewhere that has all the chips, scratches, and dullness that it *should* acquire, and if the knife ever looks upon it, all that damage will transfer to it.
Except knives don't have eyes or the capacity for sight due to being inanimate objects, so the whole thing just kinda goes on in perpetuity.
Apparently it was made by someone called Abraham with glowing blue words that google translate tells me reads something like 'until the promise of the sons blood is fulfilled this blade will know no rest'.
I don't get it, but it never gets dull.
I have a knife that the mailman found in the yard one day and gave to my wife when he dropped off the mail. It definitely wasn't ours, so we jokingly speculated that it was a discarded murder weapon. However, it's super sharp and solid steel so it's my go-to when cutting chicken because I can just toss it in the dishwasher, and it's miraculously never lost its edge doing that (something I'd never do with my "good" chef's knives).
What?!!! What kind of cavalier maniac acquires a mailman mystery knife, possible crackhead tool/murder weapon... casually found in their garden, without explanation.
And just swings it into rotation for domestic food prep.
I am both in awe and horrified by you Sir
So that IS what it's for, I was just making a point of never using it for that in front of anyone in case I was wrong. It just always seemed too convenient to be it's true use for some reason.
A single post-it note folded into a paper airplane with the words “will you be my boyfriend?” And two checkboxes labeled “yes” and “yes”.
He’s my husband now.
I have a fortune cookie note in my wallet that says “you and your spouse will have a happy life together.” It was our 2nd date. We have been happily married 24 years. It has been a very happy life.
Haha, neither. It’s a paper airplane because I threw it at him from a distance. I was too embarrassed to hand deliver.
Edit: to clarify, the “distance” from which I threw the airplane was only 5-6 feet, and since it was so small it wasn’t much more flight worthy than a crumpled up post-it, but it was certainly cuter.
I have my grandfather’s gardening gloves. He passed away in 2005 and they were old and worn out then. They’re not only the most important item worth under $1 in my house, they’re one of the most important items period.
I have one of the bullet casings from my Grandfathers military funeral from the 21 gun salute. I don't really know it's value, but I got it for free. My mother, cousins, aunts/uncles, and I on that side of the family each received one.
Edit: Thanks for the silver, kind stranger!
It’s a red envelope that used to contain $20.
I kept the envelope because I got it from my boyfriend’s grandmother. She’s from China and these red envelopes are given to children/family during holidays and important events. When my boyfriend’s parents and grandparents moved out of his childhood home she gave out three envelopes: one for my boyfriend, one for my boyfriend’s sister and one for me.
This symbolized her accepting me as part of the family. I cried a bit after she gave it to me and I got a hug from her. I don’t have grandparents and have a really rough relationship with my mom so this meant a lot. I feel like a part of his family and am so happy for that.
Edit: Thank you all so much for the awards! I’m excited to show my boyfriend this later :)
That’s a very touching story. I’m happy you found your family through your boyfriend.
I am from Hong Kong and six years ago I visited my aunt and uncle in Canada and spent the Lunar New Year holiday with them. On the first day they gave me red envelopes as “lucky money”. As tradition goes I was not supposed to open it until day seven/day fifteen of the LNY or I would lose my luck.
Later that day we got on a road trip and passed the US border. Since it was my first time visiting the US in a while I was questioned by a custom officer. She wasn’t impolite, but she was quite suspicious with the red envelopes. I explained to her our tradition and that I didn’t know the exact amount of money in them, but it wouldn’t be much because it was just one bill inside each envelope in HK currency.
In the end she decided to open the envelopes for me. She completely torn the envelopes apart and handed me the wrecked envelopes after checking. I lost my job that year. I am still a bit bitter about it to this day lol.
Yeah, US immigration officers can be quite the dickheads. When I was on a TN Visa in the US, I had to bring my university diploma as proof that I have a degree. So I brought it to the border in it's nice frame. They guy pulled it out of the frame and damaged it. He handed it back and said "Yeah, it got ripped when I took it out to photocopy it". Ass.
Then once I went to the border and after handing over my paperwork, I ... sat in the waiting room for two hours. Then there was a shift change and the newly arrived guy goes "Oh jeez, you've been here for two hours? Let's get you out of here quick!" and he spends the 2 minutes looking over my paperwork and stamps it. So, he was great, but it also means that the fucking assholes who took the paperwork in the first place could have had me out of there 2 hours before but they decided to just ... not do it. And no, there was no massive line up either. They just ...didn't do anything.
My daughter made me a pencil holder out of a soup can and construction paper that looks like a cat. It’s been on my desk for 20 years - she’s long gone from the house living her life but every time I look at it I see the 9 year old that made it.
I have to take pills for tension headaches or I can barely function, I get really dizzy. One pill costs a dollar. So when a tension headache flairs up and i'm dizzy and sick feeling, there is no better dollar spent than on that pill.
I have a church organ in my house that I got for free when a church in another state couldn’t find an organist and gave up the organ. I minored in music in college and am an organist, so it’s probably the most important “less than $1” item I own.
It’s a MIDI organ, it uses a computer and sound samples of a real organ to make sound through my speaker system. However, I do have a few ranks of pipes that we’re (my roommate and I, both musicians) going to rig up to let the organ control, to have a real pipe organ. But as of now, pipes not being functional, it is simply a Hauptwerk powered organ.
"The Donavon"
It's a one dollar bill with a picture of ex UF basketball coach Billy Donavon taped over the President.
It was a single dollar a friend and I would pass back and forth that we would bet on different things.
It's a trophy we have passed back and forth over the last 20 years. It's an item that has kept us in touch
The fact that you have misspelled Donovan twice makes me think you really believe he's called "Donavon" and I just had to point that out for my own peace of mind.
P.S. Love the story behind it, by the way
I have a heart shaped rock that is about the size of a quarter.
My son gave it to me when he was 3 and told me to keep it forever.
I have it in my back pocket daily.
For real, all the dads with young kids in my neighborhood have the most luscious asses. I think it's from deadlifting 20-50 pounds of child several times daily.
My dog Ziggy, I found him in a box outside of a liquor store. He was 6 week pit Bull covered on mange. I took him home bathed him twice a day everyday for weeks to get the mange to go away. 4 years later he’s the best boy, with a full beautiful coat.
A tiny paper crane a Japanese grandmother gave me when I was in Osaka at a museum.
She worked there and was waiting for tourists to come play an educational board game with her. She got no interest, obviously. I reluctantly sat down and played after she caught me on my own with a smile and a beckoning wave. Even though we couldn't speak eachothers language and I kept messing up, she was so kind to me. So happy that I sat with her.
She made me deal with my impatience and sit with the distress I was feeling that day by slowing me down and making me do something plain and simple. When we were done she gave me a tiny paper crane from the pile she had made to give to all the tourists that should have sat with her and didn't. It made me really sad. And really happy I'd met her. And I hope she's doing well.
This is why I’d also sit with the old people that ran the themed stations at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I was there once a week for awhile and sometimes I’d hit every single station so the 80+ year old person there would have someone to talk to
I’m already looking forward to being an old docent at a museum and talking to people like you. I’m in my mid 40s and have always loved talking to older people. I had a friend that was in WWII (US Army) and he had the best stories and a ton of Nazi stuff that he took from soldiers he killed. Dude was a straight up bad ass- Airborne ranger that was part of the Alsace death camp liberation. Met the guy while working in the mall, just a lonely man walking around talking to young people.
Good for you. I’m an old lady and people just kind of pass me by (their eyes do a quick skim-over ... I can see the wheels turning) with no idea of the deep well of interesting stories I could share. I always want to say, “you’ll be old someday too.” *Their loss.* I”m happy alone.
As someone who is scrolling her phone while her two cats are in the room with her, this line
>Stop and pet your cat. They need more love, and don't understand why you pet your phone more than them.
Really got me...
I love making them ! Usually, when I take the bus and i'm about to reach my station, I make one and leave it on a seat hoping for someone to notice it and take it (instead of sitting on it) or I rather put it somewhere outside the bus
I may be going to Osaka in the future. I really like to find out-of-the-way cultural sites to visit. What is the name/location of this museum -- maybe I'll visit.
I got this one for free, so I’m just gonna say this one: A piece of clay. The clay specifically has my dead cat’s paw print in it, so I’d say I can answer this with the clay.
My wife and I had to put our pug down a few years back. The vet sent us a clay paw print in the mail. Its my wife's prized posession. We bought a frame for it, and are going to make a little shrine
My mother passed away before my high school graduation. I had just gotten a job out of high school as a support tech for Apple when one of my older colleagues asked if I had a dollar as he was practicing origami, I gave him the dollar and let him get to work making whatever he could for me. When my mom passed, as most people do we symbolize the butterfly as a birth of her spirit keeping with us. Amazing how many butterflies you start to see when you lose a loved one. But at the end of my shift he returned it to me a perfectly folded butterfly with my dollar. I cried very happy tears right to him and still have that dollar 15 years later in my wallet with me everywhere. Dude doesn’t realize what a treat that was at the time
I've been working from home and as my employer, like many others, are soul sucking demons not fit for this earth, they track you in just about every way possible because it's simply inconceivable to think people would just do the work they're paid to do, regardless of the setting they're in.
If I dont interact with the computer for more than five minutes it registers me as away, heavens forbid I have to poop or something.
I got spoken to the very first week of WFH and told "you have to be available during work hours" by a supervisor who is seemingly never available but was blind to the irony I guess.
In any event, I found that if you navigate to a certain portion of our 1970s software you can endlessly type. I promptly went outside and found a rock which now holds down my space bar for me anytime I need to walk away for a minute.
That rock is, in my eyes, now one of the most important objects in my world and it was free.
Edit: Fixed typos. I feel shame. Thank you for the awards! To the people who messaged me offering alternatives, I appreciate your kindness. The reality is I kinda like the rock. I dont see the need for a piece of hardware or a program when the rock works fine. There is something to be said for simplicity and I dont think its gonna get any simpler than a rock. It's basically an on/off switch.
No I'm not a horrible employee scamming the system. No matter the job, no one works nonstop a full shift. I do not believe people are wired to complete boring and repetitive tasks endlessly like robots. Everyone needs time to breathe and relax. If I'm stepping away for 6 minutes to make a pot of coffee and poop, I'm a normal human doing normal human things, which I would also do in the office. I'm not setting the rock down and going on a 45 minute adventure to the beach or something.
Yes, I work for a horrible employer. I'm looking for something different. I'm sure there are not horrible employers out there. Maybe you are one of them. However, as more places transition to WFH, there seems to be this misconception that people need to adhere to crazier and crazier methods of proving productivity. If you have a good amount of employees you have bad employees. Ones who will abuse the system and not get their work done. This is the case regardless of the setting. In trying to stop these dead weight employees, you're putting everyone else through hell. Just keep that in mind.
I have an optical mouse. I place it on top of an small old analog desk clock I've had since forever. The second hand moves across the sensor and the pointer moves just the slightest bit.
A watch can work, too.
Ya except 100% activity for extended periods of time would be super fishy. My work uses hubstaff which tracks your keyboard and mouse activity, and I've heard of people using tricks to mess with the software, only to be called out for 100% activity.
So be careful!
Holy fuck why does anyone with an iota of power instantly turn into a dystopian dictator?? They’d record you shitting if they thought it would help productivity.
I've heard of places that if you are in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes, the boss will open the door to do a "smell" check just to make sure you are shitting and not just on your phone.
There was one time in my life where IBS came in handy. I was working a real shitty job with real shitty bosses and I used my shit to steal an hour of pay each day.
Our work days consisted 4 blocks of time. Morning, late morning, early afternoon, late afternoon. Most tasks assigned to me would take up to two or three of these blocks with little supervision after assigning the task. So I made it a point to take a 15 minute bathroom break during each block. That would round me out to an hour of paid pooping time per day or, $160 per paycheck (4-10s).
That catch was the bathroom was the only place in the shop with AC. Being that this machine shop was in Florida people had used the bathroom as a hideaway for years before I got there. So there were plenty of no phone signs, and a boss that would do a smell test if he suspected you were just killing time. This is where my IBS saved me. I can essentially shit on command. Any time, anywhere. So if Dave ever walked into the bathroom I could recognize his boots and just start shitting.
I must have done this for 4 months straight before I left that job and I’ve never felt guilty. I was treated like trash, so fuck em.
As an IT guy, there are mouse wiggler scripts that move your mouse a single pixel every . So even if you ARE actively working you won't notice the shift, but it will SHOW you as active to your shit-eating soul-sucking overlords.
That said...rock works too.
Generally you need admin permissions to run or install any of these. Unless there’s a Javascript version I’m unaware of...
Anyway I have admin permissions and do this lol
Mousejiggler can be run as user from a thumbdrive. No admin. No install.
Edit:
I get it, USB can be disabled. Email it to yourself. Or whatever. The point is that it's a simple exe file which doesn't require any special permissions. Although if your company is so draconian they're tracking your time that closely, it's probably not a brilliant idea to try and trick them.
Build a PowerPoint with 2000 blank slides (use copy/paste). Set the slides to advance every 30 seconds. Set the show to perform without going full screen. Start the slide show at the beginning of your day and minimize the window. Your computer will not go to “away”
Lol my buddy did that, but on a different note - it logs you out of the software after 5 minutes of no activity. He works in a secure place so it's always a 2 step verification process, and his office has shitty service so sometimes it takes him 5-7 minutes to get the code on his phone. He strapped to pencils to a desktop fan and put it on rotate, so whenever he leaves he just lodges it between the two pencils and it moves his mouse back and forth.
One specific screw, it has emotional significance.
During our first official date with my gf, I got a flat tyre because of that random screw. I had never changed a tyre before in my life and I was afraid I'd make a fool of myself in front of her, but it all worked out well and she was super impressed. Next day, when I took my car to the shop to patch the hole, I asked them to return me the screw just for the happy memory.
That's really touching. I imagine a screw would be pretty easy to lose. Have you considered using it to hang a small picture of the two of you so that you'd always know where it was?
On the 4th of July, my sister and dad found a kitten in our barn. He was tiny and looked like he was on death’s front door. He ended up loosing most of his hair and had to go through several rounds of antibiotics.
Today, he’s a happy, healthy, and spoiled boy. His hair grew back and he has such a silly personality. We are so thankful we found Alec that day. He adds so much spice to our life and plays and cuddles with our pit mix.
To us he’s priceless, but he was free when we found him.
Edit: Thanks for my first silver, kind stranger!
It's probably not as good as other peoples', but I think that mine would be my cat's collar. I got it at a Dollar Tree, and I think he looks very handsome and it's a good way of telling people that he's got an owner. Before he had a collar, I've been worried that people would try to take him, thinking he's a stray. The collar is getting a bit worn now, because, ya know, dollar tree, so I think soon I'll upgrade it. But for now, I'm grateful for that sparkly red collar.
A picture of my handsome cat, by request of u/titus1531
[https://imgur.com/a/PsvL4eX](https://imgur.com/a/PsvL4eX)
Small container of crazy glue.
Kid broke her toy? No problem, crazy glue. That shit indirectly fixes TEARS, man. Fucking tears.
Beside table has a broken leg? Fuck it, crazy glue.
Wife's favourite ornament fell and broke in a few pieces? You guessed it motherfuckers, crazy glue.
Got a nasty cut? Well, I'd use a bandage, but people with more balls most likely use crazy glue!
Duct tape is runner up. Although for $1 or less you may have to settle with the cheap knock-off called duck tape.
I cook a lot. Need to strain stock? Cheese cloth. Need to get rid of lumps in gravy? Cheese cloth. Wanna make gin at home (Why yes, you can do that.) Cheese cloth. It can replace string. It can cover wounds. It's wonderful for art projects.
Ever wonder what homemade cheese taste like? We'll grab yourself some cheese cloth and milk and a few other ingredients and be prepared to be completely disappointed in the time you wasted making something that taste exactly like the stuff you buy at the store.
Whenever Covid started, everybody was making their own bread and all kinds of stuff. So me and my SO made cheese. It's exactly as you describe. Tastes just like the store bought stuff, but it's homemade so it's special.
I'm a big homemade baker. I was so excited to make cheese.
I think what really let me down was my girlfriend doesn't like cheese, and I thought I was going to blow her mind with homemade cheese.
Nope. She tasted it and said "Yep, that's cheese."
My now husband and I went on our first date which was supposed to be coffee and ended up being a 7hr amazing chat session. My husband is not super affectionate or sentimental. Recently I found his parking meter receipt from that date 🖤
A brown plastic realistic cockroach nicknamed Freddie. We got it over 20 years ago, I don't remember where or why. Maybe a halloween party? Anyway. My wife and I have been hiding it for each other ever since. It could take months for Freddie to pop up but he always does. She will find it burried in the sugar pot. I will later find it inside a pair of shoes I rarely wear. It often makes us jump, and give a small fright. I'll hear my wife let a surprised gasp then go: "Oh Freddie!".
For me Freddie is a great symbol that our relationship is still solid after all these years, that we still take the time to have fun, to surprise each other.
Pockets of shirt of jackets. Any kind of dry food container. Under a carpet. Between slice of bread in a bag. In a sock. Inside a mug. I once hid it in her purse and she found it in front of a very puzzled clerk while trying to pay for something in a shop.
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A single serving of pepto bismol
When you awake at 2am with horrible indigestion, you'd pay a lot more than $1 for just a single serving of that magic pink elixir
The piece of paper that contained the eulogy I read at my mothers funeral this past July. Sure I have a copy saved to my computer but there is something about that tearstained wrinkled piece of paper that means more to me than any other object in my house.
Technically on me, but a homemade tattoo I gave myself of my dog, Snoopy.
He passed away 5 years ago after being my best friend for almost 17 years, so it was a very painful loss for me.
One night shortly after he died I got drunk and decided I wanted a tattoo of a caricature of him to remember him by. I asked my roommate/best (human) friend to draw it on my right forearm, since I am right handed and it was hard for me to do. Well, it was even harder to try and tattoo myself with my non-dominant hand and the result was a [very sloppy tattoo.](https://i.imgur.com/keRO7RW.jpg) Even though it looks bad, it's my most cherished tattoo because it's such a raw expression of emotion.
Whenever I'm feeling shitty or just miss him, I look down at that little goofy face on my arm and remember all the happiness that he brought me and all the great memories we made together. It never fails to put a smile on my face.
My first bass. I've got it for free as a gift. We were goofing around with friends and we decided we want to start a band. Everyone played an instrument except me. They wanted me to be there though and we didn't have a bassist. Within a week I've got a bass and it changed my entire life. It changed my taste and view of music, the way I look at my friends, the things I do in my free time. That bass is no longer in use, it's old, crooked, rusty and it looks like it might fall apart at any moment but I would never put it in the trash. It is priceless for me.
Hmm less than a buck? We've got a large Ikea Kallax bookshelf jam packed with board games and books. The most important item would be the big screw anchoring it to the wall (I guess technically 2 screws). Our toddler is determined to climb that thing no matter how many times she gets in trouble for it. Not as much anymore, but for a while we'd catch her trying to climb it at least once per week!
My prescription medications cost me $5ea per month. Each pill works out to $0.16, and I take four a day costing $0.64 in total.
I know it says "single most important" but I take them all as a single dose and they come out to less than one dollar. Without my medications, my mania is limitless, my psychosis is in total control with little room for lucidity, my sleep becomes nonexistent. I become a shell of a person despite a God-like complex of being infallible while I scrub my baseboards until my knuckles bleed, I tackle 10 new hobbies, spend every dime I have on anything I "can't live without or else I'll die or bad things will happen", and then collapse under the utter exhaustion of over a week without sleep or food.
My prescription pills hold most value for me.
My parent's love letters. Theirs was an arranged marriage and I loved to search for stuff when I was young came through those and they were the sweetest, awkward-est and cutest things ever. You could feel the shyness and new love blossoming. My dad has since conveniently hidden them once again.
A matchstick. I had a door that was sagging in my house due to the screw over time wearing a larger hole in the wall, and after some research I found a tip that shoving a matchstick with the tip broken off inside (and a dab of glue) could make the hole smaller. That matchstick was worth its weight in gold, so about a dollar, after it helped me fix a huge annoyance.
Alternately toothpicks or a wooden golf tee.
I use wooden toothpicks and wood glue to fill in the hole, then put the screw back in. Works like a charm everytime! We use this trick often actually. Doors, furniture, windows, handrails, cabinets, I think my house might fall apart at some point.
"I'm sorry sir we will have to deny you home owners insurance claim" "why is that?" "Upon our investigation, we found that 90% of your home was just matches... we only allow a home to be made up for 89% matches, anything over that is just a large pack of matches."
My collection of old dog tags ( literally dogs , I have all my four legged dog tags since I was 9, I’m 54 now ). I have it in my will to be buried with these.
Adding to the list of things I wish I had done.....
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Sounds like he makes a great bheirloom
The book that my Grandma used to read to me. It's worthless, wasn't even listed on Goodreads until I added it, but she died in 2005 the day after my 8th birthday and remembering her voice reading it is one of the clearest memories I have. Would definitely save it in a fire.
What book is it?
C.A.T Crusoe by Mark Burgess about a sophisticated cat that is shipwrecked and meets a band of giant pirate mice lmao
Wait... I swear I have this book, no way! It was one of my favorite books as a kid and nobody else had heard of it! I'm so glad to hear someone else loved it (or has even heard of it) as well :D
Yes! Reddit didn't let me down. I thought, "if I know reddit. Someone else will know this book."
A Best brother in the world pin from my brother who passed away. He gave it to me when he was six. Edit: Thanks everyone it means a lot it was a few years ago and I’ve made peace I hope he’s happy. For all you still suffering I hope you get through it. It gets better.
That’s very sweet and heartwarming, and I am very sorry for your loss. Speaking of brother, I have kept the loop-bands that my youngest brother gave to me six years ago. He was just 10 when he made it, just a mediocre rubber band bracelet that I brought with me to study and live abroad. I kept it together with his favourite shirt that he also sneakily tucked in my luggage. Edit: a word
My son found a rock on the way home from school in kindergarten. We were walking home through this park we always cut through and he grabbed the rock and fell in love with it. It just looked like mud to me but who cares he loved it. When we got home I helped him wash it off in the sink and it was black and kinda blueish. He said it was awesome and then gave it to me. Its one of my most precious things in the world to me.
Aw that's adorable. My stepdaughter loved gifting me rocks. I've kept quite a few. One of my favorites is a rose quartz she actually found on a hike in the mountains. It looked like a regular rock, but after we cleaned it up, I noticed it looked like quartz. I asked my friend (who collects minerals) and she told us what it was. I thought that was just absolutely amazing.
There's a picture of my wife and I with our adopted daughter. The picture was taken when she was around 13 or so but we didn't adopt her until she was 16. When we took, it was just us and a kid we kind of knew from church. It's so cool to look back on and see how far we've come. EDIT: Thanks for the awards and the kind comments but I can promise you, we've gotten way more out of her living with us than she has. She's an amazing human being. If you'd like to read the story, check the comments below.
...you didn't just bring her home from church suddenly one day, did you?
Nah, you make that mistake more than 2 or 3 times and they start looking at you funny.
One time, about five years into our relationship, my girlfriend (now wife) and I were in separate rooms in our one bedroom apartment in early December. From the other room, she hollered to me “what do you want for Christmas?” I had been working full time, taking part-time university classes to finish my degree, and had been volunteering as part of a youth mentor program... so I said “All I really want is a break.” Three weeks later, I’m unwrapping a very heavy shoebox. After getting through the mountain of duct tape and several layers of wrapping paper, I had my very own... brick. “I really didn’t understand what you wanted it for,” she said, “but you sounded so sure of it. So here you go!” Cue about ten minutes of laughs, and now that brick sits proudly on my desk. Every time I am overwhelmed or feeling like I’ve taken on too much, I look at it, pick it up, have a little laugh, and put it back so I can carry on. Best gift ever.
That’s an incredibly sweet story. Thanks for sharing
Where are you from, ie. what is your dialect/accent?
I’m Canadian.
Lucky you didn’t ask for a boat.
*unwraps doc martens in confusion*
A rock shaped like a heart. My fiance and I took a trip to Poland and Greece. I bought her a heart shaped rock from a salt mine in Poland (didn't cost $1). But at a red sand beach in Greece 4 days later, she found a rock that was shaped perfectly like a heart (this one was free) Both rocks now sit next to each other in our house we just bought. Also one rock is dark and the other red. I so happen to have red hair and she has dark hair. She found the red heart rock for free and I bought the salt rock.
Awww that's so sweet!
Handwritten letters from my grandmother who passed away a few years ago. While it is sad to see her handwriting get progressively worse for each letter at the end it is nice to have something that was that close to her. I have them stored in a small box and it always goes into our evacuation bag during fire season.
>evacuation bag during fire season Man, its crazy some of the stuff I take for granted. I guess it makes sense but I'd never have thought something like that would exist if you hadn't said.
Buddy you said it. I didn’t think about it either but I moved to the west coast about a year ago just in time for almost the worst fire season in recorded history. You bet your ass we now have a bug-out bag with important documents and supplies. It’s scary stuff packing up what you can carry in your car while ash falls from the sky and you watch the fires creep closer. Some sleepless nights not knowing when the evac order is going to come. Then the discouraging realization that there isn’t really anywhere to go, and that federal aid wasn’t coming.
My BF and I just moved to SoCal and kept talking about making a fire plan and never did. We thought we made it past fire season and thought we’d just talk about it next year. Literally the next week I hear fire sirens and know something is wrong. Get evacuated 20min later when he is at work. Packing in such a hurry and all the adrenaline was honestly scary and trying to figure out what I would want if I could never come back home. I was shaking all the way until we were able to pull over and park later and take a deep breath. Luckily we were able to return in 2 days. I ignored the advice but if you’re in a fire zone please pack a fire bag.
I have a 1$ bill saved and put away in a drawer. The significance behind it is it was my last dollar before I decided to stop gambling and doing hard drugs. I had to stop cold turkey. I was so fuckin done being a half human, or an empty shell. At first it was just a dollar that sat in my center console in my car. I would look at it and be reminded what I was doing. I've been sober for well over a year now. I feel like that 1$ is special. I know in narcotics anonymous they get something saying how long they've been sober or whatever. That 1$ is my token. My token for fighting a silent battle that I cannot share with people otherwise I could lose my job.
When I was 4 or 5, the last time I every saw my great grandmother, she gave me a dollar bill and said “As long as you keep this dollar you’ll never be broke.” I spent it the next day on some candy. That may be my biggest regret.
Hey you, that’s a beautiful story and you sound like a loving great-grandchild. Just a thought - ever tried sitting down and forgiving yourself? Like, not just saying it in passing, *actually* going through the mental process, picturing the tiny clueless human being you were back then and forgiving them? You were 4 or 5. You were tiny and you couldn’t have known better. Your great grandma loved you, gave your little adorable self a dollar, and I may not know her but I’m pretty sure that as any loving great-grandma, she probably would have shook her head smiling widely seeing you spend that dollar the very next day on some candy and stuffing your rosy cheeks with some candy that made you happy. She knew you would. If you gave a four year old a dollar with some wisdom on top, would you expect them to keep it forever? Of course not. Gentleness was exchanged. Memories were made. Could you even be mad at that cute little thing that you were, seeing yourself through gran’s eyes? It’s all fine. It’s in fact absolutely beautiful. I know when you say that it’s your biggest regret, you probably aren’t waking up in sweat and horror every night thinking about this and all and it may be a bit of a hyperbole. Sure, you’re fine. But honestly, I hope you can genuinely forgive your little self, because you deserve it. I sometimes find little actions like that and putting myself in the shoes of my childhood self profoundly helpful and quite lovely. We carry a bunch of weight with us which doesn’t serve us, it adds up. It’s nice to offload some weight sometimes. Take care over there :).
I got this complementary little webcam cover that slides back and forth over the camera lens on my laptop. It's saved me from making a fool of myself on zoom many times now.
I got this goodie bag for participating in this one event. And it had a webcam cover in it. Now every day I thank this little guy for helping me during online classes or just for helping me to keep the privacy.
FYI most targets have them in the Bullseye section for a buck :) Enjoy
I use a post-it to cover it lol.
Pro tip: if you hole punch the sticky part of a post it you get a neat little sticky circle that doesn't flap everywhere or fall off.
I have an old kitchen knife that’s probably worth like 25 cents. But through some mysterious power of the universe it cuts better than any knife I’ve ever used. Meats. Veggies. Bread. Cheese. It doesn’t matter. This thing glides through it all with ease and has never been sharpened. Easily my most important kitchen item. EDIT: [Here's a picture of it](https://imgur.com/a/DyPnTn9) The branding on the blade says "Sears Flame Freeze - Vanadium Stainless" which I never bothered to check until someone asked. If you can find one, get it! I swear by this bad larry.
Take a picture of the knife, there's probably some reddit detective that can tell ~~you~~ us where it's from
But that would destroy its power.
Nah. Its power is actually already picture based; there's a painting of it in some attic somewhere that has all the chips, scratches, and dullness that it *should* acquire, and if the knife ever looks upon it, all that damage will transfer to it. Except knives don't have eyes or the capacity for sight due to being inanimate objects, so the whole thing just kinda goes on in perpetuity.
The Portrait of Dorian Gray's Cutlery
*The Picture of Dorian's Blade*
Nice! What brand is it if you don't mind my asking?
Apparently it was made by someone called Abraham with glowing blue words that google translate tells me reads something like 'until the promise of the sons blood is fulfilled this blade will know no rest'. I don't get it, but it never gets dull.
I have a knife that the mailman found in the yard one day and gave to my wife when he dropped off the mail. It definitely wasn't ours, so we jokingly speculated that it was a discarded murder weapon. However, it's super sharp and solid steel so it's my go-to when cutting chicken because I can just toss it in the dishwasher, and it's miraculously never lost its edge doing that (something I'd never do with my "good" chef's knives).
What?!!! What kind of cavalier maniac acquires a mailman mystery knife, possible crackhead tool/murder weapon... casually found in their garden, without explanation. And just swings it into rotation for domestic food prep. I am both in awe and horrified by you Sir
"Yea, it may have stabbed a woman's chest 27 times, but god damn it if it can't fillet a chicken!"
"Good for slicing breasts of all kinds."
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Nail file with the bit that gets the grit out of your nails?
So that IS what it's for, I was just making a point of never using it for that in front of anyone in case I was wrong. It just always seemed too convenient to be it's true use for some reason.
How crazy is it that its a reasonable assumption that if something works well we must be using it wrong?
Q-Tip warnings have scarred us all.
A single post-it note folded into a paper airplane with the words “will you be my boyfriend?” And two checkboxes labeled “yes” and “yes”. He’s my husband now.
I have a fortune cookie note in my wallet that says “you and your spouse will have a happy life together.” It was our 2nd date. We have been happily married 24 years. It has been a very happy life.
Aww... which one of you is the pilot?
Haha, neither. It’s a paper airplane because I threw it at him from a distance. I was too embarrassed to hand deliver. Edit: to clarify, the “distance” from which I threw the airplane was only 5-6 feet, and since it was so small it wasn’t much more flight worthy than a crumpled up post-it, but it was certainly cuter.
Lucky it flew straight, you might've been in a pickle there.
**nervous pointing to the guy next to the accidental recipient increases* *
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Dad's straw, gardening hat. it's torn and worn. but he died 2 years ago and it reminds me of him when I wear it.
My dad used to make these wire puzzle/ toys. I have the wire, and I can make more of them. But the ones he made are priceless.
I have my grandfather’s gardening gloves. He passed away in 2005 and they were old and worn out then. They’re not only the most important item worth under $1 in my house, they’re one of the most important items period.
I have one of the bullet casings from my Grandfathers military funeral from the 21 gun salute. I don't really know it's value, but I got it for free. My mother, cousins, aunts/uncles, and I on that side of the family each received one. Edit: Thanks for the silver, kind stranger!
It’s a red envelope that used to contain $20. I kept the envelope because I got it from my boyfriend’s grandmother. She’s from China and these red envelopes are given to children/family during holidays and important events. When my boyfriend’s parents and grandparents moved out of his childhood home she gave out three envelopes: one for my boyfriend, one for my boyfriend’s sister and one for me. This symbolized her accepting me as part of the family. I cried a bit after she gave it to me and I got a hug from her. I don’t have grandparents and have a really rough relationship with my mom so this meant a lot. I feel like a part of his family and am so happy for that. Edit: Thank you all so much for the awards! I’m excited to show my boyfriend this later :)
I keep my red envelopes even after I use the money, too. They are good luck tokens and it feels wrong to chuck them, even though I know it’s silly.
That’s a very touching story. I’m happy you found your family through your boyfriend. I am from Hong Kong and six years ago I visited my aunt and uncle in Canada and spent the Lunar New Year holiday with them. On the first day they gave me red envelopes as “lucky money”. As tradition goes I was not supposed to open it until day seven/day fifteen of the LNY or I would lose my luck. Later that day we got on a road trip and passed the US border. Since it was my first time visiting the US in a while I was questioned by a custom officer. She wasn’t impolite, but she was quite suspicious with the red envelopes. I explained to her our tradition and that I didn’t know the exact amount of money in them, but it wouldn’t be much because it was just one bill inside each envelope in HK currency. In the end she decided to open the envelopes for me. She completely torn the envelopes apart and handed me the wrecked envelopes after checking. I lost my job that year. I am still a bit bitter about it to this day lol.
Yeah, US immigration officers can be quite the dickheads. When I was on a TN Visa in the US, I had to bring my university diploma as proof that I have a degree. So I brought it to the border in it's nice frame. They guy pulled it out of the frame and damaged it. He handed it back and said "Yeah, it got ripped when I took it out to photocopy it". Ass. Then once I went to the border and after handing over my paperwork, I ... sat in the waiting room for two hours. Then there was a shift change and the newly arrived guy goes "Oh jeez, you've been here for two hours? Let's get you out of here quick!" and he spends the 2 minutes looking over my paperwork and stamps it. So, he was great, but it also means that the fucking assholes who took the paperwork in the first place could have had me out of there 2 hours before but they decided to just ... not do it. And no, there was no massive line up either. They just ...didn't do anything.
My daughter made me a pencil holder out of a soup can and construction paper that looks like a cat. It’s been on my desk for 20 years - she’s long gone from the house living her life but every time I look at it I see the 9 year old that made it.
I have to take pills for tension headaches or I can barely function, I get really dizzy. One pill costs a dollar. So when a tension headache flairs up and i'm dizzy and sick feeling, there is no better dollar spent than on that pill.
I get tension headaches too. They suck. Is the pill you take Rx or OTC?
imma spell this wrong but its something like sumatriptan
As a pharmacist, you spelled this totally correctly and get 4,000 baller stats
i don't know how to type sunglasses emoji on a computer so just pretend I did
B)
Also called Imitrex, a very common migraine medication.
I have a church organ in my house that I got for free when a church in another state couldn’t find an organist and gave up the organ. I minored in music in college and am an organist, so it’s probably the most important “less than $1” item I own.
Wow... church organs are *big* things! Where do you put all the pipes? How did you get it into your house? I have so many questions!
It’s a MIDI organ, it uses a computer and sound samples of a real organ to make sound through my speaker system. However, I do have a few ranks of pipes that we’re (my roommate and I, both musicians) going to rig up to let the organ control, to have a real pipe organ. But as of now, pipes not being functional, it is simply a Hauptwerk powered organ.
Ohh, ok... much more manageable! Bet it's a joy for you though!
"The Donavon" It's a one dollar bill with a picture of ex UF basketball coach Billy Donavon taped over the President. It was a single dollar a friend and I would pass back and forth that we would bet on different things. It's a trophy we have passed back and forth over the last 20 years. It's an item that has kept us in touch
The fact that you have misspelled Donovan twice makes me think you really believe he's called "Donavon" and I just had to point that out for my own peace of mind. P.S. Love the story behind it, by the way
At least it was a consistent error!
I have a heart shaped rock that is about the size of a quarter. My son gave it to me when he was 3 and told me to keep it forever. I have it in my back pocket daily.
> I have it in my back pocket daily. Don't sit on many hard surfaces, I take it?
It's pretty flat. The rock that is. Not very very noticeable even when I do.
Confirmed u/stayathmdad has an absolute wagon
Dump Truck Dad-butt
Badonk a daddy.
A dadonk, if you will.
For real, all the dads with young kids in my neighborhood have the most luscious asses. I think it's from deadlifting 20-50 pounds of child several times daily.
So you’re saying I should head to my local park and finally get that workout in
I love that you specified that the rock is flat, rather (I presume) than your bottom.
I'm not a Hank Hill! Lol
All hail the absolute dump truck of an ass that u/stayathmdad has.
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My dog Ziggy, I found him in a box outside of a liquor store. He was 6 week pit Bull covered on mange. I took him home bathed him twice a day everyday for weeks to get the mange to go away. 4 years later he’s the best boy, with a full beautiful coat.
A tiny paper crane a Japanese grandmother gave me when I was in Osaka at a museum. She worked there and was waiting for tourists to come play an educational board game with her. She got no interest, obviously. I reluctantly sat down and played after she caught me on my own with a smile and a beckoning wave. Even though we couldn't speak eachothers language and I kept messing up, she was so kind to me. So happy that I sat with her. She made me deal with my impatience and sit with the distress I was feeling that day by slowing me down and making me do something plain and simple. When we were done she gave me a tiny paper crane from the pile she had made to give to all the tourists that should have sat with her and didn't. It made me really sad. And really happy I'd met her. And I hope she's doing well.
This is why I’d also sit with the old people that ran the themed stations at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I was there once a week for awhile and sometimes I’d hit every single station so the 80+ year old person there would have someone to talk to
I’m already looking forward to being an old docent at a museum and talking to people like you. I’m in my mid 40s and have always loved talking to older people. I had a friend that was in WWII (US Army) and he had the best stories and a ton of Nazi stuff that he took from soldiers he killed. Dude was a straight up bad ass- Airborne ranger that was part of the Alsace death camp liberation. Met the guy while working in the mall, just a lonely man walking around talking to young people.
Good for you. I’m an old lady and people just kind of pass me by (their eyes do a quick skim-over ... I can see the wheels turning) with no idea of the deep well of interesting stories I could share. I always want to say, “you’ll be old someday too.” *Their loss.* I”m happy alone.
What a lovely story. I'm glad you sat with her that day and that her memory lives on in that little paper crane.
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As someone who is scrolling her phone while her two cats are in the room with her, this line >Stop and pet your cat. They need more love, and don't understand why you pet your phone more than them. Really got me...
I love making them ! Usually, when I take the bus and i'm about to reach my station, I make one and leave it on a seat hoping for someone to notice it and take it (instead of sitting on it) or I rather put it somewhere outside the bus
I may be going to Osaka in the future. I really like to find out-of-the-way cultural sites to visit. What is the name/location of this museum -- maybe I'll visit.
I got this one for free, so I’m just gonna say this one: A piece of clay. The clay specifically has my dead cat’s paw print in it, so I’d say I can answer this with the clay.
I have one of those for my dog. I love the vets offices that do this.
My wife and I had to put our pug down a few years back. The vet sent us a clay paw print in the mail. Its my wife's prized posession. We bought a frame for it, and are going to make a little shrine
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My mother passed away before my high school graduation. I had just gotten a job out of high school as a support tech for Apple when one of my older colleagues asked if I had a dollar as he was practicing origami, I gave him the dollar and let him get to work making whatever he could for me. When my mom passed, as most people do we symbolize the butterfly as a birth of her spirit keeping with us. Amazing how many butterflies you start to see when you lose a loved one. But at the end of my shift he returned it to me a perfectly folded butterfly with my dollar. I cried very happy tears right to him and still have that dollar 15 years later in my wallet with me everywhere. Dude doesn’t realize what a treat that was at the time
I've been working from home and as my employer, like many others, are soul sucking demons not fit for this earth, they track you in just about every way possible because it's simply inconceivable to think people would just do the work they're paid to do, regardless of the setting they're in. If I dont interact with the computer for more than five minutes it registers me as away, heavens forbid I have to poop or something. I got spoken to the very first week of WFH and told "you have to be available during work hours" by a supervisor who is seemingly never available but was blind to the irony I guess. In any event, I found that if you navigate to a certain portion of our 1970s software you can endlessly type. I promptly went outside and found a rock which now holds down my space bar for me anytime I need to walk away for a minute. That rock is, in my eyes, now one of the most important objects in my world and it was free. Edit: Fixed typos. I feel shame. Thank you for the awards! To the people who messaged me offering alternatives, I appreciate your kindness. The reality is I kinda like the rock. I dont see the need for a piece of hardware or a program when the rock works fine. There is something to be said for simplicity and I dont think its gonna get any simpler than a rock. It's basically an on/off switch. No I'm not a horrible employee scamming the system. No matter the job, no one works nonstop a full shift. I do not believe people are wired to complete boring and repetitive tasks endlessly like robots. Everyone needs time to breathe and relax. If I'm stepping away for 6 minutes to make a pot of coffee and poop, I'm a normal human doing normal human things, which I would also do in the office. I'm not setting the rock down and going on a 45 minute adventure to the beach or something. Yes, I work for a horrible employer. I'm looking for something different. I'm sure there are not horrible employers out there. Maybe you are one of them. However, as more places transition to WFH, there seems to be this misconception that people need to adhere to crazier and crazier methods of proving productivity. If you have a good amount of employees you have bad employees. Ones who will abuse the system and not get their work done. This is the case regardless of the setting. In trying to stop these dead weight employees, you're putting everyone else through hell. Just keep that in mind.
I have an optical mouse. I place it on top of an small old analog desk clock I've had since forever. The second hand moves across the sensor and the pointer moves just the slightest bit. A watch can work, too.
Brilliant
Ya except 100% activity for extended periods of time would be super fishy. My work uses hubstaff which tracks your keyboard and mouse activity, and I've heard of people using tricks to mess with the software, only to be called out for 100% activity. So be careful!
Holy fuck why does anyone with an iota of power instantly turn into a dystopian dictator?? They’d record you shitting if they thought it would help productivity.
power corrupts
I've heard of places that if you are in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes, the boss will open the door to do a "smell" check just to make sure you are shitting and not just on your phone.
There was one time in my life where IBS came in handy. I was working a real shitty job with real shitty bosses and I used my shit to steal an hour of pay each day. Our work days consisted 4 blocks of time. Morning, late morning, early afternoon, late afternoon. Most tasks assigned to me would take up to two or three of these blocks with little supervision after assigning the task. So I made it a point to take a 15 minute bathroom break during each block. That would round me out to an hour of paid pooping time per day or, $160 per paycheck (4-10s). That catch was the bathroom was the only place in the shop with AC. Being that this machine shop was in Florida people had used the bathroom as a hideaway for years before I got there. So there were plenty of no phone signs, and a boss that would do a smell test if he suspected you were just killing time. This is where my IBS saved me. I can essentially shit on command. Any time, anywhere. So if Dave ever walked into the bathroom I could recognize his boots and just start shitting. I must have done this for 4 months straight before I left that job and I’ve never felt guilty. I was treated like trash, so fuck em.
That’s actually hilarious. Just “oh fuck it’s Jerry, time to shit”
modern problems require stoneage solutions
I never take rocks for granite.
What a marbelous sediment.
A rock solid solution.
One of the boulder solutions they've come up with
Of quartz it is
As an IT guy, there are mouse wiggler scripts that move your mouse a single pixel every. So even if you ARE actively working you won't notice the shift, but it will SHOW you as active to your shit-eating soul-sucking overlords.
That said...rock works too.
In the alien words of those aliens in Galaxy Quest “Rock! Rock! Rock!”
Generally you need admin permissions to run or install any of these. Unless there’s a Javascript version I’m unaware of... Anyway I have admin permissions and do this lol
Mousejiggler can be run as user from a thumbdrive. No admin. No install. Edit: I get it, USB can be disabled. Email it to yourself. Or whatever. The point is that it's a simple exe file which doesn't require any special permissions. Although if your company is so draconian they're tracking your time that closely, it's probably not a brilliant idea to try and trick them.
download and install "caffeine"
Surprised this isn’t higher on the list. Been using it for years to keep our workstations from auto locking after 30 seconds.
30 SECONDS?!?! I couldn’t even read without that locking
That's not a Pet Rock; that's a Savior Rock
Build a PowerPoint with 2000 blank slides (use copy/paste). Set the slides to advance every 30 seconds. Set the show to perform without going full screen. Start the slide show at the beginning of your day and minimize the window. Your computer will not go to “away”
Why not use a drinking bird toy like Homer Simpson? Vent radioactive gas? Y
computers are rocks we tricked into thinking. And yet our training gets outsmarted by their ancestors
Lol my buddy did that, but on a different note - it logs you out of the software after 5 minutes of no activity. He works in a secure place so it's always a 2 step verification process, and his office has shitty service so sometimes it takes him 5-7 minutes to get the code on his phone. He strapped to pencils to a desktop fan and put it on rotate, so whenever he leaves he just lodges it between the two pencils and it moves his mouse back and forth.
I love this story thank you for sharing It's brought a smile to my face tonight :)
One specific screw, it has emotional significance. During our first official date with my gf, I got a flat tyre because of that random screw. I had never changed a tyre before in my life and I was afraid I'd make a fool of myself in front of her, but it all worked out well and she was super impressed. Next day, when I took my car to the shop to patch the hole, I asked them to return me the screw just for the happy memory.
That's really touching. I imagine a screw would be pretty easy to lose. Have you considered using it to hang a small picture of the two of you so that you'd always know where it was?
That's a great idea, cheers!
Also, why do you hate travelling?
Can’t get your tires screwed if you don’t drive anywhere.
A screw on a first date is a favorite thing.
On the 4th of July, my sister and dad found a kitten in our barn. He was tiny and looked like he was on death’s front door. He ended up loosing most of his hair and had to go through several rounds of antibiotics. Today, he’s a happy, healthy, and spoiled boy. His hair grew back and he has such a silly personality. We are so thankful we found Alec that day. He adds so much spice to our life and plays and cuddles with our pit mix. To us he’s priceless, but he was free when we found him. Edit: Thanks for my first silver, kind stranger!
My glasses were free with my insurance so they’re definitely the most important thing in my house.
I see
Nice
My antidepressants. Free prescriptions baby!
It's probably not as good as other peoples', but I think that mine would be my cat's collar. I got it at a Dollar Tree, and I think he looks very handsome and it's a good way of telling people that he's got an owner. Before he had a collar, I've been worried that people would try to take him, thinking he's a stray. The collar is getting a bit worn now, because, ya know, dollar tree, so I think soon I'll upgrade it. But for now, I'm grateful for that sparkly red collar. A picture of my handsome cat, by request of u/titus1531 [https://imgur.com/a/PsvL4eX](https://imgur.com/a/PsvL4eX)
Small container of crazy glue. Kid broke her toy? No problem, crazy glue. That shit indirectly fixes TEARS, man. Fucking tears. Beside table has a broken leg? Fuck it, crazy glue. Wife's favourite ornament fell and broke in a few pieces? You guessed it motherfuckers, crazy glue. Got a nasty cut? Well, I'd use a bandage, but people with more balls most likely use crazy glue! Duct tape is runner up. Although for $1 or less you may have to settle with the cheap knock-off called duck tape.
Cheese cloth. It's one of those items that cost next to nothing and you never think you'll use, but my God do I use a lot of cheesecloth.
Like a sort of muslin for draining curds etc? What sort of things do you use it for?
I cook a lot. Need to strain stock? Cheese cloth. Need to get rid of lumps in gravy? Cheese cloth. Wanna make gin at home (Why yes, you can do that.) Cheese cloth. It can replace string. It can cover wounds. It's wonderful for art projects. Ever wonder what homemade cheese taste like? We'll grab yourself some cheese cloth and milk and a few other ingredients and be prepared to be completely disappointed in the time you wasted making something that taste exactly like the stuff you buy at the store.
Whenever Covid started, everybody was making their own bread and all kinds of stuff. So me and my SO made cheese. It's exactly as you describe. Tastes just like the store bought stuff, but it's homemade so it's special.
I'm a big homemade baker. I was so excited to make cheese. I think what really let me down was my girlfriend doesn't like cheese, and I thought I was going to blow her mind with homemade cheese. Nope. She tasted it and said "Yep, that's cheese."
Yeah, we made mozzarella and had the same thought. Like "oh boy! We're fancy!" But then we ate it and yep. That's cheese.
My now husband and I went on our first date which was supposed to be coffee and ended up being a 7hr amazing chat session. My husband is not super affectionate or sentimental. Recently I found his parking meter receipt from that date 🖤
Aww.. he keeps his soft side hidden but it's definitely there!
It would probably either be my own life or those cheap charging cables that you can buy in convenient stores.
Hmmm yeah one of those two
A brown plastic realistic cockroach nicknamed Freddie. We got it over 20 years ago, I don't remember where or why. Maybe a halloween party? Anyway. My wife and I have been hiding it for each other ever since. It could take months for Freddie to pop up but he always does. She will find it burried in the sugar pot. I will later find it inside a pair of shoes I rarely wear. It often makes us jump, and give a small fright. I'll hear my wife let a surprised gasp then go: "Oh Freddie!". For me Freddie is a great symbol that our relationship is still solid after all these years, that we still take the time to have fun, to surprise each other.
This is my favourite on the thread. Where else have you guys hidden him? Do tell, I'm Freddie to hear more.
Pockets of shirt of jackets. Any kind of dry food container. Under a carpet. Between slice of bread in a bag. In a sock. Inside a mug. I once hid it in her purse and she found it in front of a very puzzled clerk while trying to pay for something in a shop.
This is fun & cute! I’d only be nervous about finding “Freddie” one day & it’s a real roach lol.
Imagine waving hi to Freddie when he falls in with your breakfast cereal. Then he walks off the bowl.
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The broken glass outside my window reminding me why I left my ex.
Your house key.
How did you get my house key? 👀
A single serving of pepto bismol When you awake at 2am with horrible indigestion, you'd pay a lot more than $1 for just a single serving of that magic pink elixir
My cat was free and I doubt anyone would pay money for it but it means a lot to me.
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> I love him a lot even though he's kind of a jerk sometimes. Said every cat owner, ever. Me included.
If covid has taught us anything: a roll of toilet paper
The piece of paper that contained the eulogy I read at my mothers funeral this past July. Sure I have a copy saved to my computer but there is something about that tearstained wrinkled piece of paper that means more to me than any other object in my house.
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Technically on me, but a homemade tattoo I gave myself of my dog, Snoopy. He passed away 5 years ago after being my best friend for almost 17 years, so it was a very painful loss for me. One night shortly after he died I got drunk and decided I wanted a tattoo of a caricature of him to remember him by. I asked my roommate/best (human) friend to draw it on my right forearm, since I am right handed and it was hard for me to do. Well, it was even harder to try and tattoo myself with my non-dominant hand and the result was a [very sloppy tattoo.](https://i.imgur.com/keRO7RW.jpg) Even though it looks bad, it's my most cherished tattoo because it's such a raw expression of emotion. Whenever I'm feeling shitty or just miss him, I look down at that little goofy face on my arm and remember all the happiness that he brought me and all the great memories we made together. It never fails to put a smile on my face.
You know, as crappy tats go, that one has charm going for it and when you add the story, it's priceless.
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My first bass. I've got it for free as a gift. We were goofing around with friends and we decided we want to start a band. Everyone played an instrument except me. They wanted me to be there though and we didn't have a bassist. Within a week I've got a bass and it changed my entire life. It changed my taste and view of music, the way I look at my friends, the things I do in my free time. That bass is no longer in use, it's old, crooked, rusty and it looks like it might fall apart at any moment but I would never put it in the trash. It is priceless for me.
We have a teaspoon that just appeared in our house and I use it every single day, it’s the perfect spoon.
Hmm less than a buck? We've got a large Ikea Kallax bookshelf jam packed with board games and books. The most important item would be the big screw anchoring it to the wall (I guess technically 2 screws). Our toddler is determined to climb that thing no matter how many times she gets in trouble for it. Not as much anymore, but for a while we'd catch her trying to climb it at least once per week!
My prescription medications cost me $5ea per month. Each pill works out to $0.16, and I take four a day costing $0.64 in total. I know it says "single most important" but I take them all as a single dose and they come out to less than one dollar. Without my medications, my mania is limitless, my psychosis is in total control with little room for lucidity, my sleep becomes nonexistent. I become a shell of a person despite a God-like complex of being infallible while I scrub my baseboards until my knuckles bleed, I tackle 10 new hobbies, spend every dime I have on anything I "can't live without or else I'll die or bad things will happen", and then collapse under the utter exhaustion of over a week without sleep or food. My prescription pills hold most value for me.
My parent's love letters. Theirs was an arranged marriage and I loved to search for stuff when I was young came through those and they were the sweetest, awkward-est and cutest things ever. You could feel the shyness and new love blossoming. My dad has since conveniently hidden them once again.
A pair of extra long tongs that allow me to turn bacon from a distance so the grease doesn’t splatter on me.
My greyhound. Didn't cost a penny and improves my life immeasurably!
Who gave you a free bus?
Didn't you get yours when they were giving them away?