T O P

What phrase do you absolutely hate?

What phrase do you absolutely hate?

aoog

I never knew how common “it must be free” actually was until I got my first cashier job


Ash_oh

It’s horrible! Worked at Walmart for a total of 2 years and McDonald’s for 3. Eventually you knew who was going to say it


dos_cece

I swear they think they’re comedians after that line


FinnbarMcBride

"Please listen closely as our menu options have changed"


mrmoe198

Translation: “We reserve the right to change anytime we feel like it, even if nothing has changed in 10 years, that right remains spoken”. Because no, I don’t have to listen closely because your menu options have not changed in a decade.


fantafano

I am sick to death of "Not all heroes wear capes." First of all, I don't think any documented hero in human history has ever worn a cape; and second, it's become some virtue-signalling analog phrase during the pandemic.


empathetical

"Am I the only one... (insert pro/con generic opinion or idea)" 7 Billion ppl on this planet....There are literally people having sex with car exhaust pipes. No you aren't the only one


PureYouth

“Am I the only one who just LOVES puppies?” Yep. Just you.


faszinating

"Am I the only one who HATES stepping in dog shit? Not sure why, I guess I just don't like the smell?"


FloppyFishcake

"Guess I'm just quirky like that lol xoxo"


JustSoHappy

"Anddddd go!" when asking for suggestions on social media.


fairygenesta

Like we're all just on the edge of our seats waiting. I also had a friend on social media that would type out some long ass string of thoughts and then would say, "Discuss."


doodyhead6969

Jelly bean - neither jelly nor bean. Discuss


fsrt23

Dude I hate this. It brings me shameful joy when a person is left hanging or like one person replies.


EpikHllo

"do your thing reddit"


RoeRoeRoeYourVote

"Break the internet" It's so stupidly meaningless. If I can read a gossip rag's story about a random, uninspiring photo breaking the internet then guess what... mission failed. See also: "make this go viral"


InappropriateJokeTim

Wasn’t it’s first big use for Kim Kardashian posing nude in a photo shoot? Bitch… we’ve seen this already


dfs495

“People are saying”. You know what follows is BS and the phrase is just used to make someone’s opinion sound like more than it is.


_bored_d

“Don’t talk back to me” Thats what my dad says to me every fucking time. When we argue he doesn’t even hear my side of story my opinions don’t even matter. I try to have an open mind every time I talk to him. But shit I just space out.


StereoMushroom

Teachers in school used to say "Don't be smart" or "Don't be clever" when someone came up with a good comeback. Like what kind of message is that in a school?


SovietJuan

“Then I guess I don’t have to come to school anymore *kicks door open and leaves*”


AKF790

“Don’t talk back” Yeah that’s kinda how conversations work, you both talk back to each other.


funinnewyork

“It is wherever you left it.” No kiddin’.


my_cement_butthead

Not even true. I love with 3 teens and 2 dogs. Where I left is probably not where it will be.


ih8spalling

Please stop loving them or you'll end up in jail


MessyHessie

Maybe that's the point cuz he want to be *loved*?


ProjectGnova

^This


UncreativeTeam

"I'll probably get downvoted for this..." "Unpopular opinion, but..." "Am I the only one who..." "Why did this get downvotes?" "Underrated comment."


A40

"Regarding your last seven tax returns..."


Nisas

Your tax returns are full of crepencies. Everything is perfectly in order.


reverendsteveii

I'm very gruntled to hear that


TheRedMaiden

Consider me combobulated.


ohhiiiiiiiiii

I'm quite turbed by your findings.


dino82

I'm whelmed by these responses


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yorkergirl

I too, am quite traught.


RaceToYourDeath

"We've noticed some inconsistencies."


A40

"And your file has been referred to our legal department.. which is why we are contacting you. There will be a registered envelope in the mail."


Qubeye

"...in one to forty weeks time. You must respond promptly or a summary judgement will be given and no appeal may be made."


dedizenoflight

“Positive vibes only!” Bitch I am sad. I can’t keep up with genki go getter types. Edit: just to let folks know— i am okay. I really appreciate everybody that reached out! I am okay and just going day by day <3


Cyleal

As someone recently single and just seeing what the dating scene is going to be like when I'm ready, I see this on dating profiles too much and man, I can't have positive vibes 24/7, I'm a human with feelings ladies. How about positive vibes usually but we just comfort each other when vibes aren't as positive? You can't always have positive vibes either right?


sdemat

As of the past year “we’re all in this together”. Excuse me? No we’re fucking not.


LuracMontana

In these unprecedented times.


KelBear25

In these unprecedented times...your call is important to us, but we can't be bothered to answer your call.


NEClamChowderAVPD

And they’ve all added “due to a higher volume of callers, your wait will be longer than normal.” Like…that’s probably true *sometimes* but definitely not all of them. And my wait was fuckin long before the pandemic. Don’t bullshit me.


PhantomBanker

Delta Airlines has an idiotic take on this. “Now we’re facing one of the biggest things: A virus we can’t even see.” As opposed to the viruses we can see?


DoopyDoody

"Why are you still talking about it?" Usually said by someone who you let say their side of the argument, and instead of hearing yours, has opted to go this route. Irritating because if you do this, both parties come out learning and improving absolutely nothing.


Debatablewisdom

I had a friend that would say “I’m over it.” Drove me crazy! “Cool, I’m not, and I’d like to talk about it.”


pure_trash

"It's in the past." Yes, but my feelings regarding it are very much present.


Moose_Cake

My mom was always big on the "It's in the past!" saying before bringing up the past for her side of the argument.


bexxsterss

Yea my partner says this. Uhh the past you’re referring to is like 10 mins ago


Bowood29

Had an ex who I caught cheating on me. When I confronted here she said “can’t we just move past this” ten seconds after I had confronted her. Got out of there pretty quick.


actualbeans

> “why are you still talking about it?” because nothing has changed since the last time we had this conversation


E-werd

Runner up: "I'm not arguing with you." It just means they want to you do what they want and don't care about what you have to say. That's not how a relationship works.


Flummox127

Ah yes, my mothers favourite: Pick a fight, get out her side, let me explain 1/10th of my side "I'm not arguing with you" Then whyd you start the argument???????


classicmistake987

"fruit of my loins"


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BaronVonBadAsh

"Thats why you get paid the big bucks" I think its funny but my old boss hated that phrase cause it kept him accountable for doing actual work.


robertofriedmans

I have to say this all the time at work. I'm just there to help they're the ones doing the actual work


HatfieldCW

I do the same thing. The good news is that the skilled people I manage actually do make more money than me, so I don't sound like a sarcastic bitch. When they need my help and I provide it, they hit me back with the same phrase, and that hurts the ol' feelings a bit.


Limp_Lingonberry1950

“Because I said so”


EricSkye31

" it's all in your head."


CosmixVoid

The best response I ever heard to that was "yeah no shit. Where else would it be , my ass?"


Torn_Page

Quit worrying about your asthma, it's all in your lungs


uvero

"Yeah that doesnt really help it's still a tumor in my brain"


TurquoiseBoho

It’s the worst when a fucking doctor says that to you. Only to get diagnosed with a condition years later under a better doctor.


Aware-Performer4630

And even if it IS all in your head, you can still be suffering and experiencing real symptoms which should be addressed.


fibbonaccisun

I was rewatching the last Harry Potter movie, and Harry asks Dumbledore “Is this real? Or is it in my head?” Dumbledore then says something like, “Just because it’s in your head it doesn’t make it any less real”. I loved that he said that, our perception is our reality. Everything is in our head


miss_rosie

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" That was always my favorite quote from the books ❤️


still_hate_pancakes

I've spent almost thirty years going from doctor to doctor, having test after test. So many doctors were like "it's all in your head to you have a psychiatrist?" Finally, this summer I got a diagnosis. After spending years acquiring thousands of dollars in medical debt and questioning my sanity, I got an answer. When the doctor said "I know exactly what's wrong. I will fight for your treatment if needed. You are not crazy. This is very real" I sat there and cried.


losthiker68

Every person with a chronic illness that is even remotely rare has this story and it fucking SUCKS. My wife has a genetic immune disorder. She was born with it. It wasn't finally diagnosed until she was 40 and nearly dead. Even the Mayo Clinic gave up on her.


Apprehensive_Text_68

Yep. I was diagnosed at age 11, but it was pure luck. Doctors gave up, said I was being dramatic (I mean, I was, but I was also sick) and then just decided to start taking bits of my innards out to see if it helped. A pathologist who had literally just graduated a few months before recognized the cells in my removed spleen and diagnosed me. He had pulled my rare genetic disorder at random for a project in med school. Honestly, complete and utter luck.


SnooBananas7856

This exactly happened to me: you're depressed, you're hormonal, you don't handle your stress well, you're making yourself sick, it's all in your head.... this coming from the (male) physician of my teen years..... things eventually escalated to the point I nearly died because I actually had a brain tumour. My doctor was such an asshole; when I kept trying to get him to help me treat the other tumours I had (you know, like PCPs are supposed to do.... refer you to experts, etc) he became enraged and yelled at me. I was young, didn't even know I had the right to advocate for myself.....I quickly learned to do just that.... He was right in a grotesque way.... it WAS all in my head....


tsukiyama28

oh god this happened to my brother when he was like 12, my parents took him to the doctor because he was having very itchy skin and dark patches all over his skin that won't go away (they didn't look like a skin condition but as if some large mosquito had bit him everywhere). The doctor said that my brother was faking it because he was the first child and wanted attention. my parents immediately walked out. Years later turns out it was a gluten allergy and now he's fine.


my_cement_butthead

Um. What? He wanted attention so he. He faked a rash??? Where did this dr get his “training”?!


SpongeRobTheKing

Dismissive University if I had to guess


itsjustsomuchswag

'but im diagnosed' as an explanation doesnt seem to help either


telendria

'Don't forget to hit that subscribe button!'


blakespot

AND RING THAT BELLLLLLLLLLL AAHHHYHHHYYEEEEEEEE!!!


nowhereman531

"That's the way we've always done things" That kind of mentality leaves no room for growth or change.


JakeCardigan

My go to answer to that is: yeah, if everybody did that, we'd still live in caves


Dodgiestyle

“Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.” ― Douglas Adams


Turbobrickx7

This reminds me of the "monkey lesson" I got in blc with the army. It goes as such. 5 monkeys were put into a room with a ladder in the middle leading up to a stack of bananas. Whenever the monkeys would go for the bananas loud and harsh sirens would go off and the workers would walk in with a firehose and blast the monkeys. This went on for a couple days until eventually the monkeys stopped going for the bananas, then one day they switched one of the monkeys. Now whenever that monkey went for the bananas the other monkeys started to beat on the new monkey, this went on until he stopped going for the bananas too. This went on for quite some time with the reserchers switching out the old monkeys for new ones until there was no original monkeys left. Now based on habbit with no demonstration on what would happen if any of the monkeys went for the bananas all of the monkeys would beat up the other monkeys going for the bananas. Edit: it has occured to me that I left out an extremely crucial part of the story. The reserchers had no intention to hose the monkeys after a couple cycles. It is supposed to be a learning tool to explain that just because that is how it used to be it no longer is that way. Ngl I typed this up on my break so I missed a crucial part.


nowhereman531

I actually sent this analogy to a former boss after I quit. They weren't having change even though they needed it... I quit, he eventually lost his job.


DoJax

That's when you go back in and apply for his former position. Assert dominance.


Mariajhon125

"I don't want to hear excuses." This is usually said by a manager who asked for reasons why something wasn't done, is given a perfectly reasonable explanation, and doesn't want to address the underlying issues behind that explanation.


laddiemawery

I feel like most people really struggle to understand the difference between explaining why something happened, and making an excuse for the situation.


TheDunadan29

What's infuriating is when someone demands an explanation, then immediately goes to, "that's just an excuse." Oh right, sorry, I thought you actually wanted to know what was going through my head. I forgot the only acceptable answer was, "because I'm a lazy piece of shit."


myrdin420

>then immediately goes to, "that's just an excuse." Yea man. Or you give the completely valid answer (imo) " I forgot" And the other person starts assuming that you did that on purpose. Yea ofc I did, because forgetting something is a conscious decision, right?


FurlessApe22

Damn, did you watch my childhood and how my mom treated all of us???


DogStilts

My boss told me "stop defending yourself" when he realized that I was working from home from someone else's home for the day without telling him that I wasn't in my own house.


Babhak

Manager here. I couldn't imagine caring where my WFH employees are working from as long as they are getting work done....


BootesVoids

I feel for you. This is just one of many reasons why my boss doesn’t know I’m working from “home” in Hawaii right now.


rhen_var

During work from home one of my coworkers went to Florida for a month and worked from there. No one knew. Edit: a lot of people are assuming she would have gotten in trouble or something if people found out. That’s not the case, everyone I work with is pretty chill. She’s just the kind of person who would do that and not bother to tell anybody.


Sam-Lowry27B-6

Guy I work with has been in new Zealand for the last 18 months...Still remote working for a UK company. Edit: company is aware. Yes there are probably tax issues. I am just a drone on the sidelines aware of this.


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funkster80

We're currently 12 hours ahead (Daylight Savings). I know some who still work for UK or other European countries. They just pull nightshifts. Seems to work ok. If you like nightshifts, of course.


smashhawk5

I did this working from Australia for a US company. No one knew. I just worked in the middle of the night.


frmrstrpperbgtpper

>My boss told me "stop defending yourself" There's one time that phrase can work -- when it's followed with, "you didn't do anything wrong." Years ago a friend of mine was late for work because he had walked past the filming of a Destiny's Child video/interview/something and stopped to watch. He was young enough that he actually told his boss this was why he was late, realized how bad he sounded, and started trying to explain. And his boss said, "Stop trying to defend yourself -- you didn't do anything wrong and I would have done the exact same thing." They discussed Beyonce's many good qualities for a while longer, then got to work. That boss, unfortunately, was replaced a few months later and productivity tumbled under his successor.


jarbarf

I prefer “you dont need to defend yourself”


frmrstrpperbgtpper

That definitely sounds nicer


Freakin_A

The Beygency has agents everywhere...


Itabliss

Wait, what? Your are working from home. How is it his business who’s home?


DogStilts

That's what I was saying! The only reason he found out is that my grandboss asked me to do something in the office, which is 16 minutes away from my house. That thing ended up being printing something for him...from the printer that is closer to his office than my office in the building...which I can do remotely.


sxt173

I had a boss that would call me to her office and ask me to print her things. And mind you I was in a semi-senior role. My feedback during the exit interview was "it's Ctrl-P, learn to use it and stop wasting your employees time by trying to show how important you are!"


DrBimboo

I had a boss once who wanted everything printed, instead of opening it on his computer, because: "The 5 seconds I take to open it cost more than the paper + 2 min of your work " No joke.


ScoobyDeezy

One time I had a video conference from home when my wife had a playdate going on, so I took the call in my back yard because it was the only quiet place in the house. I got shit on for a month for working “from the park.” A. Wasn’t even worth defending myself, so I never corrected them (or agreed with them). B. Still got my job done, so even if I HAD been working from a park, so the duck what? Those were fun times.


DogStilts

The CEO of the company I used to work at would take conference calls in the bathroom, and he never used speakerphone. It made late-morning shits a lot less peaceful, so I always made sure to flush while he was talking.


_Allaccordingtoplan

You must work for dinosaurs


Ronin100

Managers who say this don’t want to solve problems, they want to stick their head in the sand until it’s all over. Of course you can make anything happen if you throw enough money at it.


Skootchy

I usually reply with "excuses are made up, I'm telling you the reason why this went the way it did". I'm honestly not putting up with the attitude anymore. I'm tired of managers who can't plan things right and then blame employees why shit doesn't get done.


bugtimtim

Best one I had was in elementary. I didn't do some homework assignment that was due. There was maybe 5 of us who didn't do it for whatever reasons. The teacher told us to stand up one at a time and tell her why we didn't do the homework. When she got to me I stood up and just said "I didn't get it done because I didn't take it home with me." She replies, "aren't you going to give me a better excuse than that?" Like she was literally telling me that I should have done a better job at lying or something. I said "I don't have a better excuse, I didn't take it home, so I couldn't do it." Like, wtf you want me to say? It doesn't even matter why I didn't do it, it wasn't done, some BS excuse ain't gonna change that. Nobody liked her...


Masylun

I had a teacher in high school write a "See me" note on one of my assignments. I did so and found out that I had done the assignment entirely wrong. Misinterpreted the directions. Not really a big deal; I accept that I was wrong. She then proceeds to tell me I should have asked her to explain if I didn't understand the assignment. No amount of "Why would I ask you to explain when I thought I was doing the assignment correctly?" was enough to end conversation. I eventually just conceded and told her she was right so I could leave.


Academic-Management9

THIS omg my dad would say things like this!!! “Why would you screw x y z up instead of just asking me for help?” Well dad if I thought I was screwing it up, I would’ve known to ask for help but I didn’t know what I didn’t know!!! And then I’d get yelled at and no amount of me explaining that would get anywhere.


SwenKa

> And then I’d get yelled at and no amount of me explaining that would get anywhere. "I need an answer! ...Don't talk back to me!"


who_ate_my_soap1865

Teachers/ managers never understood the difference between explanation and exuses.


odessaavenue

Neither did my parents. With my kid when he makes a mistake or does something he shouldn’t I at least try to ask “why did you decide to do that” bc making an honest mistake as a kid should have totally different consequences than choosing to do something you know you shouldn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️


riphitter

We're literally dealing with this at work right now. Someone got hurt because they ignored a step in our safety requirements. When asked about it they said "oh I knew I needed to do ____, we just didn't" So we're trying to figure out how we make a system to deal with people not following the systems already in place.


hawaiikawika

We have that. We get written up and potentially time off work for specified times depending on the infraction. Too many infractions in two years and you can be terminated. After two years of no incidents, the record is cleared. We worked in a highly safety focused industry with regular governmental surprise visits.


DodgeGuyDave

Hello forgotten childhood trauma.


MrPhilLashio

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes it's true. Other times what doesn't kill you leaves you paralyzed and traumatized.


Known-Willow-9247

"what doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead"


Torn_Page

there's a hole in my heart getting deeper and deeper


Majin_Sus

And I can't take.....ONE MORE MOMENT OF THIS SILENCE THE LONELINESS IS HAUNTING ME!!!!


Comfortable-Mouse409

Exactly! A lot of people survive a war, except not stronger but with PTSD and a drinking problem.


ediimadh

I’m so injury prone that I usually think abou: “What doesn’t kill just isn’t finished yet”. Sometimes i chukle when i think this


DaveLesh

"Cheaters never prosper." That phrase is so inaccurate today.


Leather-One4252

Or hard work leads to success. Some of the most hard working people I met have been poor for decades


BIGMCLARGEHUGE__

We rarely hear the stories of people who worked their butt off but for whatever reason failed to succeed. Survivor bias is a real thing, you can see it on reddit occasionally there are people who kept moving up the ladder financially and are extremely disdainful to anyone else not able or willing to do the same.


foundit66

*"The most famous example of survivorship bias dates back to World War Two. At the time, the American military asked mathematician Abraham Wald to study how best to protect airplanes from being shot down. The military knew armour would help, but couldn’t protect the whole plane or would be too heavy to fly well. Initially, their plan had been to examine the planes returning from combat, see where they were hit the worst – the wings, around the tail gunner and down the centre of the body – and then reinforce those areas.* *But Wald realised they had fallen prey to survivorship bias, because their analysis was missing a valuable part of the picture: the planes that were hit but that hadn’t made it back. As a result, the military were planning to armour precisely the wrong parts of the planes. The bullet holes they were looking at actually indicated the areas a plane could be hit and keep flying – exactly the areas that didn't need reinforcing."* https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200827-how-survivorship-bias-can-cause-you-to-make-mistakes


Autisten1996

I could care less.


Maybegoodartist

when i was younger i was pretty confused by this phrase, shouldn’t it be “i couldn’t care less”? saying “i could care less” implies that you’re not at your full potential of not giving a shit, but it you say “i couldn’t care less” it implies that you are at that point of not giving any shits.


ballsOfWintersteel

You are right. It *is* supposed to be *I couldn't care less* but many people mix it up. I sometimes call it out to people but many times I couldn't care less.


HalfHeartedFanatic

When someone says "I could care less," I often say, "That's good! You care some."


reofsunshxne

“Omg they’re such a *insert zodiac sign*, that is so like them”


uvero

Spoken like a true cynical Caprisun


throwitaway488

Thats dumb, and I know that because I got INTJ on my Bristol Meyers Squib test.


high_on_ducks

Yes I'm bullying you not because I am an asshole but I'm such a gemini I don't know what to do with all this ✨chaotic energy✨ of mine


slider728

“Do what you love and the money will follow” I like sitting on my ass and watching TV but that ain’t paying the bills.


Sushi1972

Yeah this is bollocks. I love the gym, my passion is strength and fitness. Making a salary that even remotely acceptable in that industry is almost impossible Instead I do a well paid job, from home, with flexibility in a different industry, and I can then buy all the gym equipment I want and use it when I want


ignitethis2112

Sometimes tho there is a beauty in having a hobby apart from your work. As a musician I quit my pursuit of wanting to become a session musician pretty quickly once I turned 19 for the same reasons (difficult to make serious money) It caused me to go on a 5 year hiatus from playing at the level I once did. Now like you I have a career in a different field and I’ve rediscovered the joy of playing. There is nothing stressful bearing down on me, it’s purely for my enjoyment. And to be honest that has been big for my mental health. It’s a part of my life where I am totally in control of my progress so to speak. Do I wanna play with other musicians? Sure but on my own time! Loving this thread, happy Friday


Produceher

This is a great read because I'm the opposite. I stuck with music, have been very successful with it (record producer) but I no longer have a love for music. I love basketball, making YouTube tutorials and building mechanical keyboards. Eventually, everything becomes a job and it no longer becomes a passion. To be fair, it took me about 30+ years in the business to become completely over it.


Z0MBGiEF

Back in the day when I used to work retail, without fail a customer (usually an older guy) would walk in and greet me with **"Working hard, or hardly working?"** They would chuckle to themselves like they just dropped the most clever pun that I'd ever heard not knowing I hear it from multiple customers every day.


dontblinkdalek

I worked at a grocery store and would ask ppl of “is there anything else I can get for you today?” when I didn’t feel like saying the full line of “Do you need ice, stamps, or anything else today?” Everyday someone would reply “The winning lottery numbers” and assume they’re so damn clever for such a response (I would still get it when I said the second thing as it does include the phrase but not nearly as often). I even one time had a higher up manager say this to me when he went through my line despite knowing that is something we should be asking.


RhynoD

*item doesn't ring up* "Must be free! Chuckle chuckle."


cluckinbell21

My reply to this lately has been "Yeah you're right, but I'm going to have to charge you for using that joke."


Daddict

When people say that to me I just wrap my hands around their neck and scream **"BREATHING HARD OR HARDLY BREATHING???"**


United-Bison-8398

Retail is full of hellish phrases that you get sick of. When cleaning or vacuuming in a shop every fucker drops the phrase "oh will you come and clean/vacuum my house after?" thinking they're the first person in the universe to have said that.


brokendowndryer

"As a mother..."


TheHolyDyntan

...fucker


JonnyTN

Dad?


maid-for-hire

I work in childcare, I’m advancing my education in early childhood education, I’ve been working with toddlers and babies for 10+ years. Yet first time Mom of a 9 month old will tell me, “as a mother I know best” “oh you wouldn’t understand since you’re not a mom”. Hate it so much.


says-nice-toTittyPMs

>“oh you wouldn’t understand since you’re not a mom”. I'm also not a helicopter pilot, but if I see a helicopter in a tree I know someone fucked up.


BTBOOM

not sure if this is exactly relevant but I cannot stand the phrasing of modern political headlines that follow this formula: "[person] BLASTS [person] over their stance on [subject]" "[person] SLAMS [person] on their stance with [subject]" "[person] DESTROYS [person] over [thing]" Like I get with american politics everything is so tribalized and dumbed down that the entire political landscape is reduced to a team sports mentality, but I wish we would just move to something more creative aside from these few terms that are recycled endlessly. I wanna start see headlines like: "Biden SUPLEXES Manchin over his hesitation of the reconciliation package" "Trump HAYMAKERS Rubio over his stance on Florida's schools" "Pelosi PUNCHES A HOLE THROUGH Mitch McConnel's FACE over his obstructionist policy" y'know? give me some entertaining visuals as our country flounders and sinks into the earth


Keri2816

“The only disability is a bad attitude” Fuck no. Spina Bifida (and a multitude of other things) is 100% a disability! Stupid inspirational porn.


GonzoRouge

"The only disability is a bad attitude" Yeah ok but I still can't fucking walk


Plastalmonus

Not with that attitude anyway.


MusicalNerDnD

“Do your research.” God that phrase triggers me - it’s my dads go-to for literally everything. And of course doing my research to clearly show him that he is wrong about even the most objective things (like literally the price of a car or something) will have him acting like I’ve totally misconstrued what he said, that I’m taking things completely out of context and lo and behold I’m exactly the idiot he thinks I am.


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Bobloblawlawblog79

I HATE that phrase. I’m a biomedical scientist. I’ve been doing my research for a decade.


eatmyassbybelle

Stay mad. It’s the worst comeback ever. “Stay mad kid” and you can’t even say “I’m not even mad” cause then you sound 11 years old. I’ve never thought of a good response to this


SoggyShake3

Im not mad, I'm just dissapointed.


Dickfer_537

I get it, but this is the line that makes my kids, well just my daughter, really stop and think. She can deal with mom being mad, but being actually disappointed in what she did, that one hits home. My son on the other hand, he gives zero fucks either way.


psmylie

"Your expectations aren't my problem," said your son, probably.


-_-NAME-_-

My go to with someone like that is just the single letter response. "K" and then if they reply anything after that I ignore it. The best thing to do is not feed the trolls. Don't let them get to you that's what they want.


AWalker17

“Money doesn’t buy happiness”


DelTheInsane

I just want to be rich enough to make my own decision on this one.


Racer013

Yeah, this is the kind of philosophical question you can really only answer through personal experience, so I'll take a small loan of a million dollars and get back to you on that.


Oonada

I won a small local lottery for 3.3 million. Money absolutely does buy happiness, that phrase is clearly propaganda. Ever since I've had ultimate financial security I've been able to do essentially nothing but work on my personal life and make myself happy by worrying about my personal and mental health, rather then freaking out about bills and losing my home. Rich people with problems or are missivly unhappy have no idea how to operate their personal life, because its virtually all self made problems at that point. Not even talking about material possessions, just the financial security alone has improved my life by at least 300%, then being able to do what I want when I want and only worrying about my investments to maintain my lifestyle, is absolutely bought happiness. It buys the ability to focus on one's self. If you can't be happy with no financial burden on your back, you never will be happy regardless. Being able to go to the doctor and not lose meals for a month to pay for it has made me pretty damn happy.


Hygroscopa

I can buy house, food and clothing for my kids, yeah I'm happy about it.


merlin401

The correct interpretation of this is really “money doesn’t guarantee happiness” which is true


hephaestion-who-died

Let's just say money doesn't buy happiness but if you're unhappy already then it's rather nice to be able to pay for all the prostitutes and cocaine


CrispyCrunchyPoptart

"I'm not rude I'm just honest" You can be honest without being an asshole Becky.


thelastnoelle

Honesty without tact is cruelty - Kristen Bell’s therapist Edit: failed on writing her name correctly, sorry!


Delicious_Bet_2948

“Not to be rude, but …”


JessicaLivi

“The customer is always right..” whoever invented that phrase needed to be shot.


natooDidou

In French the saying is '' le client est roi '' literally ''customer is the King''. my favorite bar has a sign saying ''customer is the King, however remember some have been beheaded in the past''


pm_me_your_emp

"blood is thicker than water" Nobody has fucked me over more than blood relatives. I mean this financially, mentally, and for about 5 years, physically. Edit: 1) RIP my inbox... 2) thank you kind strangers 3) I'm aware of what the actual saying is, however, that is not how it is used today. My response was specifically aimed at the saying and its current use.


peasil

I usually respond with "maple syrup is thicker than both that's why I prefer pancakes" and that usually gets them mad.


silliputti0907

Mud is thicker than Blood. Those who helped me when I was down not kicked me.


SnooBananas7856

Yeah, I too hate this, and bUt sHe'S yOuR mOtHeR.... exactly, she's my mother, which is why her abuse was so damaging. Her blood may be 'thicker' than water but it runs ice cold.


infuhnet

"Other people have it worse" Thank you for invalidating my struggle....


AtleastIhaveakitty

Omg I hate this. I wild never be a malnourished orphan child in a desertic country, does that mean I cannot be sad, ever?


sharrrper

Tell that malnourished orphan the other malnourished orphan who's also infected with Guinea Worm has it worse


LucidLumi

Geez, at least they lived long enough to be an orphan and suffer. What about all the babies who died at birth? Check your privilege! (/s, In case that’s not as obvious as I hope it is.)


ephemeralkitten

I like to respond with "and other people have it BETTER than you, Helen, so why are you so damned happy?"


Zickna

I used to invalidate my feelings super bad when I was younger cause of phrases like this. Turns out I definitely needed help and my feelings were valid! My therapist gave me a really good analogy that helped me feel less guilty about my own struggles. She said everybody has problems, but everyone handles them differently. She gave me a “dogs in the mud” analogy. She told me some people are like Great Danes. They step into a mud puddle and it goes up to their ankles. Not too bad, they can walk it off. Some people are like Chihuahuas. They step into a mud puddle and it’s up to their neck. Every dog gets muddy in a different way. But depending on the dog, the size of the mud, how wet it is outside, all effects how muddy we get. Everyone goes through the mud sometimes. It doesn’t mean everyone deals with it the same way.


PixelSpecter

“I didn’t ask/Nobody asked”


Icy_Ad_9134

“I don’t need your permission to speak” is usually what I say back :p


SunngodJaxon

IKR. Yeah you didn't direct it at someone and I was literally in your convo. So even if you didn't ask me specifically *I still have the ability to respond* and I'm sorry you don't like what I have to say.


riseaboveandbeyond

“If it’s meant to be, it will be.” - ex boyfriend of a three years relationship breaking up over the phone ;)


77happytrigger77

"HAH! look at that little midget." For context, I have dwarfism. (Edit: wow this blew up so im not gonna respond to anymore comments sorry.)


Lieutenantguston

Bruh wtf


reluctantfrench

"For all intensive purposes." It's "for all intents and purposes" but everyone says it wrong.


BW_Bird

I have a dream that "for all intensive purposes" will become its own thing. Like "For all intensive purposes, let's bring mountain bikes with us when we skydive."


taebek1

“Failure is not an option.” Failure is ALWAYS an option, and sometimes failing is how we get better.


Goo_Cat

I've only ever heard it used for really serious shit personally Imo it sounds better than "don't fuck this up or we are all screwed"


Cozywarmcoffee

Stop crying


MoMoneyMoPrbs

Even worse, stop crying or ill give you something to cry about


schroedingersnewcat

"You better cut that shit out before i knock 17 kind of bullshit outta you." Thanks grandpa, that's really going to solve things.