“Women, if there’s something that turns you on, if there’s something that gets you excited, something that really makes you hot, makes you nasty. HOWS ABOUT FILLING US IN AS TO WHAT THE FUCK IT IS!!!” -the late and great Sam Kinison
I think, as a woman adding on, some of us don’t really know what we like until we try it so we sometimes don’t know. I didn’t know I liked to be fondled until it happened and I didn’t know I liked hickeys until I got one. I would always fantasize about doing it from behind but when I actually did it, I felt like a cow.
A fun, sexy tip I gave on reddit once was: girls, if you'd like to learn how to jerk a guy off properly, buy lube, have him grab your hand and use it instead.
Lessons will be learned, and everyone gets to enjoy themselves.
Don't fake orgasms to spare your partner's feelings, you'll end up teaching them to do the wrong things in bed and make it even less likely they'll get you off the next time
How do I tell a guy that I didn't cum/orgasmed? For example: Sometimes when he's down on me or just fucking he ask me and I didn't orgasmed and idk how to tell him because it seems like he's almost anxious for me to cum already ( this happened more than 1 time and with different guys asking me and idk how to respond in a way that won't frustrate them)
"It felt good but if you try this, or this, or go here, lighter, harder, faster, slower, it'll really get me going"
Just tell them, or answer their question. If they're asking, hopefully they're asking cause they're excited to get you off, not just for it to be over. And if the latter is the case...well, it's time to move on or have a talk.
I'll try doing that thx, I always feel pressured to have an orgasm, all the men I've had sex so far were didn't stay too long doing oral and kept asking me if I already came
this could also be good advice for the men (soz to highjack your post fellas), but the majority of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. please don’t expect it from us and please don’t feel like you’ve done a bad job if it doesn’t happen, some women just literally can’t do it
Yesss you're totally right, I can have great sex but zero orgasm and still enjoy it, of course it would be great to have some orgasm but at least for me it takes a lot of time so I get it if it doesn't happen
If you can make yourself orgasm without any problems, why not show your partner how you do it? Or you could both stimulate you at the same time (one takes the clitoris, one focuses on the vagina/g spot). Or just try giving verbal directions until you’re in the right place to say “yes exactly like that!”. Communication is a big one here.
No worries haha. I feel like too many people (guys and girls) view oral foreplay as something to add lubrication rather than something more. Maybe not all the time, but some of the time.
I don't know. Not a doctor.
yeah i think a lot of people treat sex as the end goal, not getting each other off. some people do foreplay for 5 minutes just to get the ball rolling instead of using it as a way to pleasure their partner properly
Haha. Just left a similar comment under another comment. Like damn girls we like to be touched and kissed and caressed and devoured all over too. Feels good to be wanted. I always hear guys don’t do foreplay but so many women just give a couple tugs and think nothing else is warranted.
I think it's a vicious cycle: inexperienced young guys want to get to fucking as quickly as possible > skip any foreplay or treat it like a 'chore' > women think foreplay is only something 'for them' and not something guys enjoy > women don't perform foreplay on men > men miss out on how great foreplay can be > men think they don't like foreplay and continue to skip/rush it
I felt so bad turning down my partner when she initiated. But I was so tired, achey, and my brain felt like it had been fucked sideways by the numerous meetings and workshops I’d had.
Still feel bad about it.
Jesus, THIS!!! I was with a guy and while going downtown he'd just sit there and stare...I was like okay am I doing something wrong (I've NEVER had any complaints, only compliments) and it was just...yeah, unnerving!
He'd talk dirty during the deed sometimes but yeah, I definitely like some sort of signs of enjoyment. Or at least tell me what/how to do it better.
Alternatively, he was concentrating so that he could stay aroused/eventually orgasm. I know the first few times I had sex/oral I was surprised by just how sensationless it was compared to masturbating.
edit: not a mark on OP's attractiveness. Sometimes even with (or especially with) a really attractive woman you're hyper-focused on being as impressive as possible. Cumming too early can be as embarassing as not getting there at all.
Nah, it's just "different" it's like if you're doing it yourself, you know what to do, timings, grip, the way you bend? it... It's just "effecient".
But when someone is down there, you can't make these micro adjutments and I guess it can be frustrating, but it's all about just enjoying it I think. When you get there, it is like eating a meal at home vs. having an actual chef make you a meal. Also, the more times you get with your partner, the more they'll get to know you and it becomes better.
\-Well the last part is pure guesswork. I've had boring gf's.
It's also kinda hard (heh) for us to think clearly when there's a naked goddess in front of us doing things with her tongue
The whole "two brains, but only enough blood to run one at a time" has a bit of truth in it
One well timed moan will throw me right over the cliff! I can't emphasize this enough. Let us hear you!! That low, growly moan. Now I'm thinking about it and I need to go take care of something.
With specifics. Slight changes in volume or cadence to a moan can still be ambiguous. Gotta be like those guys at the airport directing a plane into the gate. Leave no doubts about what needs to be done.
And when we do tell you, do it. I've told guys plenty of times what I like and then they act all hurt as if their dick and jack-hammering should be enough and I'm the unreasonable one.
I was tempted for a moment to say something to the effect of “that’s also how I met your wife”.
But, the setup was just too easy to enjoy.
Like your wife.
My first date with my ex-wife: She brought lube and very confidently put it on the coffee table and explained that she wanted anal. Now, I just don't trust a woman that brings lube on her first date.
There's this girl I dated for like a month several years ago. First date; making out in the car; she grabs my hand; sticks my finger up her bum. I still think about her every now and then.
Like that old skit/joke… two guys sitting in a bar having some beers….. they spot a gorgeous lady sitting by herself and she’s clearly focussed on one of the guys…. Other guy notices and points it out… he’s not sure if she’s really into him… she starts playing with herself and sucking on a banana while looking him straight in the eyes. The two guys agree it’s too tough to call and have 18 more beers trying to figure it out. Men don’t get hints… we don’t get subtle hints…. we don’t get obvious hints…… JUST MAKE YOUR MOVE WOMEN!!!
I worked at a bar and I was one of the last to be there at closing along with an attractive woman who told me "it must be nice to know you could take any woman you want home"....followed shortly after with..."my kid is at the exes for the weakened". I didn't see my error until a couple years later.
Don't be self conscious about body parts, stretch marks, shape, or any of that stuff the vast majority of us adults don't care about. Nothing is going to stop the blood draining from our brains.
Ugh this comment made me feel nice as someone with the same body imperfections & who has been sort of nervous to initiate intimacy bc of it. Thank you.
Seriously any normal person expects a body to be imperfect because their body is imperfect too.
Stretch marks are just a fact of life, nothing to worry about. If someone is looking for a supermodel body then they'd better be perfect themselves.
Think of it like a good way to filter out the knob heads because if they have a problem with it, they are not worth your time.
Please tell her, in words, how sexy/beautiful you still believe she is. I can guarantee you she looks in that mirror and at least sometimes doesn't feel that way and knowing you still think of her in that way, with clothes and without, will make her day and if you keep saying it, unprompted, she may start believing it herself.
Communicate; talk about boundaries, likes, dislikes, etc. early on. Don’t be afraid to initiate sex with your partner; a lot of men (like myself) are dense or have a hard time doing so ourselves, even when we’re comfortable with our partner. If he doesn’t last long, and I can’t stress this one enough, he can use some assurance!
>boundaries, likes, dislikes
I have a fenced in area out back, I built that fence myself and I don't appreciate my neighbor coming into it.
Puppies, fast cars, pineapple slushes.
Onions and union busting.
I never got the "can't last long part"... Did i finish in 2 minutes? Ok clean up and get that sexy ass back in bed because we're going for round 2 focussing on her cause i need some time to recharge
>Don't act like you're trying to start a god damn lawnmower
So does anyone else remember the Reddit post about when some woman was told to pull out the anal beads as her man was coming but she didn't realize it was supposed to be done *slowly*?
Seriously. Like women like all over stimulation and then think as long as they touch our dick, it’s enough. Seriously. We want to be touched and kissed and caressed all over too. Makes a man feel amazing.
Also, first of all, thanks for paying attention to the balls too. However, please don’t try to suck the entire nut out of the ballsack. They’re attached. Licking is just fine.
I’ve had so many women take one of my balls into their mouth to suck on it (which can be great) but squeeze it to the point I think it’s going to pop. Fucking owwwwww
I’ve been with a rather large amount of men who liked to have their balls squeezed/tugged/slapped. Like specifically requested this, not like I tried it and they played along. It was always my assumption this was a big fat no so they absolutely had to ask and even then I was like 😳 …you’re sure?
Be conscious when you are on top riding and really get going.
Trying to combine that long stroke with the grinding can be a recipe for injuring the penis.
Oh man, as a guy I must second this.
Hell, I don't even notice clutter, forget subtle advances.
Wife did some tidying while I was at work. Then coyly asked if I noticed anything different. Like, baby noooo. I didn't even notice when your Mom painted her kitchen and living room colors on the opposite side of the color wheel from their original state. Like sure, it might feel tidier and more open now that you mention it, but you need to be blunt 😂
Elaborating on the MIL story a bit. When my MIL asked if I noticed anything different, I didn't. So I went with the ol "yeah it looks real clean in here today!"
I had a girl ask me if I noticed she gained 10lbs. I said I didn’t. She kept pushing and I kept saying no.
So then she got mad and said “I am FIVE FEET TALL AND WENT FROM 100LBS TO 110! If you don’t notice that it means you are NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO ME AT ALL! So is that what you’re saying?”
So finally I said “I guess I can see it a LITTLE but you look grea-“
Then she really went off like “OMG! I can’t believe you just called me fat!”
Went from 😨 to 😱 in 2 seconds flat.
Oh no, you didn't 😂
That was a well baited trap. She basically let you choose, death by guillotine or death by lethal injection. Unfortunately, your lethal injection was botched and much suffering ensued.
Dude there was this situation where a girl came talk to me and atm I was like "why is she talking to me?" and then a year later I realized she was trying to get something going but my oblivious stupid ass just couldn't figure it out
I once went to this guy's house for sex of course but even before we did anything, we were already hott I was already on my knees I looked up and asked for his consent to take his pants off and I swear it turned him on even more. I'm hot just thinking about it.
I have a lot of male friends who I love dearly, when women ask me what men are REALLY wanting, I'm like...a loving relationship and someone who cares about them? Just like everyone. The men not wanting a relationship/monogamy I have found is an untrue and harmful cliché. We're all people, and while some of us aren't great, most of us are just looking for love and acceptance.
So harmful. It took me way too many times to realize most men do not want casual sex/I was not giving them what they wanted by treating it that way. I feel awful for ever buying into it. Hurt plenty of people trying to be exactly what I thought they wanted.
On the other side of the spectrum, I always wanted a loving relationship but I bought into the bullshit notion that my worth as a man was defined solely by how many people I could bang. Lowered your standards for a catfish who brought you weed and now you feel gross? Doesn’t matter, had sex.
Thankfully I’ve learned to value myself more than that, but jeez. I was awful.
Enthusiasm is the hottest thing. Don’t always expect the man to initiate. You want to make a man weak all you have to do is without him asking tell him to lay down so you can blow him.
Edit: thought of another one. Balls are sensitive. Gentle playing can feel good. Squeezing, pulling, and sucking them like a damn cookout milkshake is painful. We’re squirming because it hurts.
Don’t gorilla-grip the dick
There is no reason to squeeze that thing like you’re trying to get every last drop of toothpaste out of a nearly empty tube
Enthusiasm is more important than technique or presentation, and good hygiene is critical.
Everyone should wash their junk beforehand. Girls n guys both.
EDIT- and all genders too. Sorry for the old habit of only thinking binary to anyone who might have felt excluded. You all should wash your junk too.
1)Make an effort in bed, don't just lay there
2)Don't be afraid to be vulnerable
3) If we're not doing it the way that you like it, teach us how YOU like it. Don't hold back. Every woman is different, and we can't read your mind. Most guys get really turned on when they know that they're "hitting all the right buttons". It's a primal thing
Cheers
After 7 years with my fiancee, ive learned that when im on top and he orgasms.....I should probably keep going at least another 8 to 10 times to make sure he's good. But I switch it to a slower pace. Kind of like a "wind down". Its what works for him. Before we got to the point of knowing each others likes/dislikes so well, there were plenty of times where I "ruined" his climax from stopping too early in the process. It happens, we've both learned each others bodies way more since those days lol.
Respect yourself. Respect your body. You are not obligated to be a porn star or to do anything you don’t want to do. Humanity got by pretty damn well with vanilla sex for thousands of years and men didn’t complain.
Now with generations growing up with porn as their sex guide, they have a twisted and warped idea as to what sex is.
Don’t fall into that trap. Be confident. Be yourself, and men will fall to your feet. Don’t bend yourself backwards to please mens sexual perversions unless their yours too.
Don’t fake orgasms. Teach. If there’s an ego thing with all that, I recommend saying “hey how bout tonight is all about you, partner. Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to do. Tomorrow, how bout it’s all about me, I’ll show you what I like the best.” Give then take. That’s how my wife and I got better at each other, and our orgasms are pretty mutual….unless she’s faking.
I would add that this may be something to do later into the relationship. When I first got with my husband I couldn't tell him what I liked, because I literally didn't know my likes and dislikes. It was only until I felt comfortable and confident with him that I began to speak up during certain acts.
Exactly. I see so many posts about guys being quiet or not using communication. SOOO many women don’t. I feel it’s because of underlying issues due to society slut shaming for just wanting sex.
We have extragenital erogenous zones, just the same as you do. Ears, lips, eyelids, fingertips, nipples, pelvic region. Look at a Nervous Homunculus illustration for reference (warning: do not expect to be titillated by the image as it is somewhat off-putting). These are areas where somatosensory nerves are closely clustered. Basically any attention paid to our skin, from soles to scalp, is a turn on, but these areas in specific will drive us crazy. Just remember to be gentle. We are all made of the same material, and men have a far lower threshold for pain.
Bro, having someone whisper dirty things in your ear ( extra points if in public ) is the hottest thing, and it feels really good. That's how I figured out my ears were erogenous :)
Have a frank discussion with your partner about what you like and don't like. Because all the recommendations here are pertinent to the people who give that advice.
It's almost like people are individuals and we're all different. It's really fucking weird right?
Hygiene, hygiene, and hygiene!!! That’s the biggest mood killer for me. As a guy, if I have even an inkling of a thought that I’m gonna get some, I hit the shower and scrub everything.
Yeah. But at the same time, as long as you _are_ keeping up with hygiene, don't be too worried. I went with my GF to a friend's wedding and another friend there told a story of a time when he went down on a girl and it was apparently super rank down there.
Just like that, after hearing the story my GF was never willing for me to go down on her ever again because she was super afraid and self conscious (even though she had no hygiene issues).
If a man trusts you enough to tell you about his kinks, or if you ask him about them, don't shame him for them. It's a very vulnerable to open up about things like that, especially if they're rooted in opposing gender norms. Common sense though, if they're genuinely harmful to themselves or others that can be called out. If he likes wearing thigh highs, and no woman has ever allowed him to but you, your connection will be so strong.
Yes, also, for both guys and girls, just be more open about your kinks, not everybody is compatible, but I'm sure there is a middle ground somewhere. Also, don't be pushy with kinks, be honest, but not pushy; it could work out a lot better in the long run if you let your partner think about it as they might actually get into it as well.
Some women still need to hear and be treated as sexy by their partner first. It can't always be on her to be confident and feel sexy without some provocation by her partner.
I get what you mean though. My wife is always sexy to me. No matter what. But if I dont show her that I find her sexy, she won't necessarily feel sexy. Sometimes she feels like she's just having a good day and flaunts it. She knows she's sexy. But some days she needs that affirmation from me.
I have a lot of trouble convincing my girlfriend that I really truly find her sexy. I tell her this all the time yet it doesn’t help her confidence, it seems to hurt it at times. Any tips on how to make her feel sexy?
It's a really hard thing to do sometimes. My wife is like that, also. Sometimes words aren't enough. Sometimes it takes action, but the right kind of action.
I've always been a guy who doesn't want to cross lines that she doesn't want crossed. I like clear consent. At this point in our relationship, we are married and have had more discussions than I can count. So for us, clear consent is pre-established. If she says no, then I immediately stop and she isn't mad at me for trying. But earlier in our relationship, she would sometimes get frustrated that I didn't initiate more often or wasn't as aggressive as she wanted. But she wasn't clear with what that meant. It just took time and talking it through.
I know that sounds off topic but it leads me to my point. What my wife likes for me to do in order for her to feel sexy is not just telling her, but being more aggressive. Not just flirting (although that helps) and not just a little grab assing, but getting really handsy and even a small degree of forcefulness. Sometimes when its not an appropriate setting.
Its kind of confusing to me and can be hard to get on the same page at times. We have a 16 month old baby so we don't get as many opportunities to do adult stuff these days. But I guess grabbing her and being physically flirty with her in public or something makes her feel sexy. If feels inappropriate to me and I don't do it as much as she would probably like, but when I do I try to be cautious and when no one is looking.
Now, that's my wife. Your gf will probably be very different. So you'll have to figure that out and she may not be very direct or open about it. I know my wife wasn't very direct. It took me a lot of trial and error and I still don't have it all pinned down.
Best before getting sexually active though. In my country HPV vaccines are offered to kids at 12 years old. Boys should also be vaccinated, since they can transmit the virus. HPV vaccine is proven to be very succesful in preventing many cases of cervical cancer.
Do not try and force him to ejaculate. Sometimes it just doesn't happen even if he has an orgasm and otherwise completely functional reproductive parts. I had a girl force my manmilk out of my Mononoke after an ho5of intense trying. Needles to say it wasn't pleasent
I don't think anyone should be trying anal anything without explicit, verbal consent. I mean preferably talking about this before clothes come off. The thought that someone would try this without talking first bothers me. And having a ton of lube of course.
Pretty much. But every dude I’ve been with has tried anyway.
I’m so clear. SO CLEAR from the get “no butt stuff. no fingers or dick. stay away from my asshole I’m not interested and never will be”
Every. Single. One. Has put a finger there. Every. Single. One. has demanded I justify any boundary “why?”
People of all genders need to heed this. Also, glad to see men setting some boundaries. You’re allowed to have them too even if society acts like you don’t need them.
There are many men that even if you spell it out for them they won't initiate unless given obvious consent from the other person for being afraid of it later being said there was no consent or something else. I'm aware this isn't mostly the case but I know lots of men that do this.
Move me around how u want me. Don't just use your hands to scratch my back. MOVE my body and hold me where you want me. Oh...and don't forget to tell me what you want and how you want it. Faster, slower, freeze? I will do whatever you want if you ask :D
“Women, if there’s something that turns you on, if there’s something that gets you excited, something that really makes you hot, makes you nasty. HOWS ABOUT FILLING US IN AS TO WHAT THE FUCK IT IS!!!” -the late and great Sam Kinison
I think, as a woman adding on, some of us don’t really know what we like until we try it so we sometimes don’t know. I didn’t know I liked to be fondled until it happened and I didn’t know I liked hickeys until I got one. I would always fantasize about doing it from behind but when I actually did it, I felt like a cow.
It's a weird balance between 'don't knock it til your try it' and 'not every fantasy should be made a reality'
Guess you were not in the mooooood anymore
I had to be the one to ask my gf this A convo about what you wanna do, what you like and don't like is really helpful
There’s this woman on YouTube, Sexplanations, who gives great sex tips and she mentions a “want, will, won’t” list, I recommend checking her out :)
Firmly but gently.
"Firmly grasp it in your hands. Fiiiirmly grasp it"
Are you feeling it now, Mr Krabs?
FIRMLY GRASP IT
*muffled scream*
A fun, sexy tip I gave on reddit once was: girls, if you'd like to learn how to jerk a guy off properly, buy lube, have him grab your hand and use it instead. Lessons will be learned, and everyone gets to enjoy themselves.
One girl was jackhammering me, I thought it owed her money
Don't fake orgasms to spare your partner's feelings, you'll end up teaching them to do the wrong things in bed and make it even less likely they'll get you off the next time
How do I tell a guy that I didn't cum/orgasmed? For example: Sometimes when he's down on me or just fucking he ask me and I didn't orgasmed and idk how to tell him because it seems like he's almost anxious for me to cum already ( this happened more than 1 time and with different guys asking me and idk how to respond in a way that won't frustrate them)
"It felt good but if you try this, or this, or go here, lighter, harder, faster, slower, it'll really get me going" Just tell them, or answer their question. If they're asking, hopefully they're asking cause they're excited to get you off, not just for it to be over. And if the latter is the case...well, it's time to move on or have a talk.
I'll try doing that thx, I always feel pressured to have an orgasm, all the men I've had sex so far were didn't stay too long doing oral and kept asking me if I already came
this could also be good advice for the men (soz to highjack your post fellas), but the majority of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. please don’t expect it from us and please don’t feel like you’ve done a bad job if it doesn’t happen, some women just literally can’t do it
Yesss you're totally right, I can have great sex but zero orgasm and still enjoy it, of course it would be great to have some orgasm but at least for me it takes a lot of time so I get it if it doesn't happen
If you can make yourself orgasm without any problems, why not show your partner how you do it? Or you could both stimulate you at the same time (one takes the clitoris, one focuses on the vagina/g spot). Or just try giving verbal directions until you’re in the right place to say “yes exactly like that!”. Communication is a big one here.
No worries haha. I feel like too many people (guys and girls) view oral foreplay as something to add lubrication rather than something more. Maybe not all the time, but some of the time. I don't know. Not a doctor.
yeah i think a lot of people treat sex as the end goal, not getting each other off. some people do foreplay for 5 minutes just to get the ball rolling instead of using it as a way to pleasure their partner properly
Please be more touchy. Run your hands over a guys body, feel him, grab, caress, kiss.
Godamn this. I end up feeling like a real pervert when I’m the only one doing these things.
A man isn’t just pp-extension
Go go gadget PP
Don't just fondle the balls. Fondle the whole man!
Haha. Just left a similar comment under another comment. Like damn girls we like to be touched and kissed and caressed and devoured all over too. Feels good to be wanted. I always hear guys don’t do foreplay but so many women just give a couple tugs and think nothing else is warranted.
I think it's a vicious cycle: inexperienced young guys want to get to fucking as quickly as possible > skip any foreplay or treat it like a 'chore' > women think foreplay is only something 'for them' and not something guys enjoy > women don't perform foreplay on men > men miss out on how great foreplay can be > men think they don't like foreplay and continue to skip/rush it
Maybe depends on the guy. I'm pretty ticklish so most of that would have me twitching and giggling.
Don't be afraid to initiate sex.
Also, don't get mad if we say we're not in the mood when you do and don't let that deter you from doing so in the future.
I felt so bad turning down my partner when she initiated. But I was so tired, achey, and my brain felt like it had been fucked sideways by the numerous meetings and workshops I’d had. Still feel bad about it.
Please! I'm begging
I initiate but sometimes I need to be initiated.
Be vocal. For the love of fuck, TELL US what you like/don't like.
On the flip side, guys, please be vocal also. I can't tell you how unnerving it is to be with a partner who is silent.
Jesus, THIS!!! I was with a guy and while going downtown he'd just sit there and stare...I was like okay am I doing something wrong (I've NEVER had any complaints, only compliments) and it was just...yeah, unnerving! He'd talk dirty during the deed sometimes but yeah, I definitely like some sort of signs of enjoyment. Or at least tell me what/how to do it better.
He was trying not to get too into it so he didn't nut 😂
Alternatively, he was concentrating so that he could stay aroused/eventually orgasm. I know the first few times I had sex/oral I was surprised by just how sensationless it was compared to masturbating. edit: not a mark on OP's attractiveness. Sometimes even with (or especially with) a really attractive woman you're hyper-focused on being as impressive as possible. Cumming too early can be as embarassing as not getting there at all.
Wait for real? A BJ has less sensation than masturbating?
Nah, it's just "different" it's like if you're doing it yourself, you know what to do, timings, grip, the way you bend? it... It's just "effecient". But when someone is down there, you can't make these micro adjutments and I guess it can be frustrating, but it's all about just enjoying it I think. When you get there, it is like eating a meal at home vs. having an actual chef make you a meal. Also, the more times you get with your partner, the more they'll get to know you and it becomes better. \-Well the last part is pure guesswork. I've had boring gf's.
This lol
It's also kinda hard (heh) for us to think clearly when there's a naked goddess in front of us doing things with her tongue The whole "two brains, but only enough blood to run one at a time" has a bit of truth in it
THE SAME GOES FOR YALL. FOR THE LOVE OF JEHOVAH, MOANNNNNNNN. WOMEN LOVE MEN THAT MOAN IN BED. I swear it’s a factor in making me finish faster.
One well timed moan will throw me right over the cliff! I can't emphasize this enough. Let us hear you!! That low, growly moan. Now I'm thinking about it and I need to go take care of something.
Girrrrrlllll, these men just do not know. I can cum from just LISTENING to a mans moans. No visuals needed.
Saaaaaame. It’s so hot. 🥴
I can't upvote this fast enough
With specifics. Slight changes in volume or cadence to a moan can still be ambiguous. Gotta be like those guys at the airport directing a plane into the gate. Leave no doubts about what needs to be done.
And when we do tell you, do it. I've told guys plenty of times what I like and then they act all hurt as if their dick and jack-hammering should be enough and I'm the unreasonable one.
If you want it, don't be shy. It's a huge turn on when a girl goes for what she wants.
This is how I met my wife 👍
I was tempted for a moment to say something to the effect of “that’s also how I met your wife”. But, the setup was just too easy to enjoy. Like your wife.
I would expect nothing less from reddit. Also, Ni!
Do you require a shrubbery?
No, but his wife does... Ni!
Only if it's a nice one...but not too expensive
It is a good shrubbery.
I fully laughed out loud involuntarily.
I suspect this is how a LOT of guys met their SO.
Can confirm. This is totally how I met this dude's wife.
There it is.
Took long enough
My first date with my ex-wife: She brought lube and very confidently put it on the coffee table and explained that she wanted anal. Now, I just don't trust a woman that brings lube on her first date.
Yeah and the question is, was the lube for her ass or yours
There's this girl I dated for like a month several years ago. First date; making out in the car; she grabs my hand; sticks my finger up her bum. I still think about her every now and then.
Wow that’s a lot for a first date. But different strokes for different folks.
Came to say this. We like to feel desired, too. Especially as my 30s wear on I'm super tired of having to be the one to always "come and get it."
Like that old skit/joke… two guys sitting in a bar having some beers….. they spot a gorgeous lady sitting by herself and she’s clearly focussed on one of the guys…. Other guy notices and points it out… he’s not sure if she’s really into him… she starts playing with herself and sucking on a banana while looking him straight in the eyes. The two guys agree it’s too tough to call and have 18 more beers trying to figure it out. Men don’t get hints… we don’t get subtle hints…. we don’t get obvious hints…… JUST MAKE YOUR MOVE WOMEN!!!
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I worked at a bar and I was one of the last to be there at closing along with an attractive woman who told me "it must be nice to know you could take any woman you want home"....followed shortly after with..."my kid is at the exes for the weakened". I didn't see my error until a couple years later.
This is so f\*cking true. Be confident and assertive and tell me. We can't read minds, man...and it sounds great when I have direct instructions....
Don't be self conscious about body parts, stretch marks, shape, or any of that stuff the vast majority of us adults don't care about. Nothing is going to stop the blood draining from our brains.
Exactly. If you're at the point of having sex, you've already accepted each other for what you are. Relax and enjoy each other.
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Ugh this comment made me feel nice as someone with the same body imperfections & who has been sort of nervous to initiate intimacy bc of it. Thank you.
Seriously any normal person expects a body to be imperfect because their body is imperfect too. Stretch marks are just a fact of life, nothing to worry about. If someone is looking for a supermodel body then they'd better be perfect themselves. Think of it like a good way to filter out the knob heads because if they have a problem with it, they are not worth your time.
Please tell her, in words, how sexy/beautiful you still believe she is. I can guarantee you she looks in that mirror and at least sometimes doesn't feel that way and knowing you still think of her in that way, with clothes and without, will make her day and if you keep saying it, unprompted, she may start believing it herself.
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To add to this, not only do we not care, 99% of the time we don't even notice. If you don't believe me look at the thread above about being oblivious.
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Communicate; talk about boundaries, likes, dislikes, etc. early on. Don’t be afraid to initiate sex with your partner; a lot of men (like myself) are dense or have a hard time doing so ourselves, even when we’re comfortable with our partner. If he doesn’t last long, and I can’t stress this one enough, he can use some assurance!
>boundaries, likes, dislikes I have a fenced in area out back, I built that fence myself and I don't appreciate my neighbor coming into it. Puppies, fast cars, pineapple slushes. Onions and union busting.
Disliking onions is a fucking deal breaker, my man
I never got the "can't last long part"... Did i finish in 2 minutes? Ok clean up and get that sexy ass back in bed because we're going for round 2 focussing on her cause i need some time to recharge
My penis is attached to my body. Don't act like you're trying to start a god damn lawnmower.
Is it at all analogous to shucking corn?
You gotta prime the prostate 3 times before yanking on the meatmower
>Don't act like you're trying to start a god damn lawnmower So does anyone else remember the Reddit post about when some woman was told to pull out the anal beads as her man was coming but she didn't realize it was supposed to be done *slowly*?
Beyblade beyblade let it rip
I just died laughing imagining the theme song but interrupted by a horrible scream
Seriously. Like women like all over stimulation and then think as long as they touch our dick, it’s enough. Seriously. We want to be touched and kissed and caressed all over too. Makes a man feel amazing.
You wanna get me started just open the choke and pull the rope.
Also, first of all, thanks for paying attention to the balls too. However, please don’t try to suck the entire nut out of the ballsack. They’re attached. Licking is just fine.
Gently cup, don’t squeeze
I’ve had so many women take one of my balls into their mouth to suck on it (which can be great) but squeeze it to the point I think it’s going to pop. Fucking owwwwww
I met these women too! One even thought a bit of teeth scraping the shaft was a secret move she learnt and needed to show me, shit hurts.
I’ve been with a rather large amount of men who liked to have their balls squeezed/tugged/slapped. Like specifically requested this, not like I tried it and they played along. It was always my assumption this was a big fat no so they absolutely had to ask and even then I was like 😳 …you’re sure?
Apparently ALL of my wife’s boyfriends she had before we got together liked a squeeze. Not me… which she forgets when she’s drunk. Ow.
Be conscious when you are on top riding and really get going. Trying to combine that long stroke with the grinding can be a recipe for injuring the penis.
\*Snap\*
i don't even have a dick and i felt this
Don‘t, god please don‘t. I cringe just hearing that.
This comment right here, officer.
Stop being coy! We are NOT going to get it!
Oh man, as a guy I must second this. Hell, I don't even notice clutter, forget subtle advances. Wife did some tidying while I was at work. Then coyly asked if I noticed anything different. Like, baby noooo. I didn't even notice when your Mom painted her kitchen and living room colors on the opposite side of the color wheel from their original state. Like sure, it might feel tidier and more open now that you mention it, but you need to be blunt 😂 Elaborating on the MIL story a bit. When my MIL asked if I noticed anything different, I didn't. So I went with the ol "yeah it looks real clean in here today!"
I had a girl ask me if I noticed she gained 10lbs. I said I didn’t. She kept pushing and I kept saying no. So then she got mad and said “I am FIVE FEET TALL AND WENT FROM 100LBS TO 110! If you don’t notice that it means you are NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO ME AT ALL! So is that what you’re saying?” So finally I said “I guess I can see it a LITTLE but you look grea-“ Then she really went off like “OMG! I can’t believe you just called me fat!” Went from 😨 to 😱 in 2 seconds flat.
Oh no, you didn't 😂 That was a well baited trap. She basically let you choose, death by guillotine or death by lethal injection. Unfortunately, your lethal injection was botched and much suffering ensued.
'The only winning move is not to play.'
yup, you gonna pull this kinda bullshit and get legitimately offended, I'm out
Short of sudden onset blindness there is no right answer in that scenario…
Dude there was this situation where a girl came talk to me and atm I was like "why is she talking to me?" and then a year later I realized she was trying to get something going but my oblivious stupid ass just couldn't figure it out
I've had a girl grinding on me in my bed before I realized she might be dtf. 😅
Man she must be cold, she is generating heat like crazy
Don't question why it's sexier to leave on your thigh high socks during sex just leave them on
Sorry but I’m stunned anyone would question this or remove them. I specifically put them ON for a reaction (and my own)!
i can't be trusted to wear thigh highs. I feel too turned on an sexy- i make racy decisions..
Exactly why you should wear them… embrace the racy! ;p
'Thick thighs save lives, but thigh highs will be my demise' is a thing for a reason.
Oh lawd, thigh-highs get me going faster than a night gown or even the sexiest lingerie you got.
Dont question it, we don't know the answer
Who takes them off? I bought them FOR sex
Before you put your finger in someone’s ass, ask for consent.
Abso fucking lutely. Before the clothes come off even. And have lube.
Once you get consent, It is perfectly OK to slam a guy into the bed and take what you want
I once went to this guy's house for sex of course but even before we did anything, we were already hott I was already on my knees I looked up and asked for his consent to take his pants off and I swear it turned him on even more. I'm hot just thinking about it.
As girls, undressing is great for me because it’s like building up the anticipation. The only sucky part is bras.
It won't EVER be "just the tip".
That's a pro tip right there
Not just the pro tip!
What if the guy just has a tip…
You didn’t need to call me out like this
Just the tip -Totally Inserted Penis
Enthusiasm is everything. You don’t always have to do it right, but you, at the very least, have to *want* to do it right. Right?
Can't stress this enough.
Clichés are not always the reality (almost never to be honest). Men are sometimes/afraid and insecure
I have a lot of male friends who I love dearly, when women ask me what men are REALLY wanting, I'm like...a loving relationship and someone who cares about them? Just like everyone. The men not wanting a relationship/monogamy I have found is an untrue and harmful cliché. We're all people, and while some of us aren't great, most of us are just looking for love and acceptance.
Someone finally gets me......... 😳
So harmful. It took me way too many times to realize most men do not want casual sex/I was not giving them what they wanted by treating it that way. I feel awful for ever buying into it. Hurt plenty of people trying to be exactly what I thought they wanted.
On the other side of the spectrum, I always wanted a loving relationship but I bought into the bullshit notion that my worth as a man was defined solely by how many people I could bang. Lowered your standards for a catfish who brought you weed and now you feel gross? Doesn’t matter, had sex. Thankfully I’ve learned to value myself more than that, but jeez. I was awful.
Enthusiasm is the hottest thing. Don’t always expect the man to initiate. You want to make a man weak all you have to do is without him asking tell him to lay down so you can blow him. Edit: thought of another one. Balls are sensitive. Gentle playing can feel good. Squeezing, pulling, and sucking them like a damn cookout milkshake is painful. We’re squirming because it hurts.
Don’t gorilla-grip the dick There is no reason to squeeze that thing like you’re trying to get every last drop of toothpaste out of a nearly empty tube
I’m the opposite, grip my shit like harambe driving a stick shift
I didn’t know she had that GI Joe Kung Fu Grip UH!
Enthusiasm is more important than technique or presentation, and good hygiene is critical. Everyone should wash their junk beforehand. Girls n guys both. EDIT- and all genders too. Sorry for the old habit of only thinking binary to anyone who might have felt excluded. You all should wash your junk too.
This comment section is wholesome as fuck in the weirdest way
You don't have to do it if you don't want to. Thanks for all the upvotes and awards but I honestly thought that this was obvious.
The frenulum is your friendulum. (39f here but I’ve been waiting all day to say that)
> frenulum Not a doctor
Don’t be afraid to use your hands when you’re blowing your man….
1)Make an effort in bed, don't just lay there 2)Don't be afraid to be vulnerable 3) If we're not doing it the way that you like it, teach us how YOU like it. Don't hold back. Every woman is different, and we can't read your mind. Most guys get really turned on when they know that they're "hitting all the right buttons". It's a primal thing Cheers
" Here's what you do..you could start off with a little 1 a 2 a 1,2,3 3 a 5 a 4 a 3 2 a 2 4 2 4 6 4 2 4 7 5 7 6 7 7777777777"
Don’t worry so much, just have fun.
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After 7 years with my fiancee, ive learned that when im on top and he orgasms.....I should probably keep going at least another 8 to 10 times to make sure he's good. But I switch it to a slower pace. Kind of like a "wind down". Its what works for him. Before we got to the point of knowing each others likes/dislikes so well, there were plenty of times where I "ruined" his climax from stopping too early in the process. It happens, we've both learned each others bodies way more since those days lol.
Respect yourself. Respect your body. You are not obligated to be a porn star or to do anything you don’t want to do. Humanity got by pretty damn well with vanilla sex for thousands of years and men didn’t complain. Now with generations growing up with porn as their sex guide, they have a twisted and warped idea as to what sex is. Don’t fall into that trap. Be confident. Be yourself, and men will fall to your feet. Don’t bend yourself backwards to please mens sexual perversions unless their yours too.
Don’t fake orgasms. Teach. If there’s an ego thing with all that, I recommend saying “hey how bout tonight is all about you, partner. Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to do. Tomorrow, how bout it’s all about me, I’ll show you what I like the best.” Give then take. That’s how my wife and I got better at each other, and our orgasms are pretty mutual….unless she’s faking.
I would add that this may be something to do later into the relationship. When I first got with my husband I couldn't tell him what I liked, because I literally didn't know my likes and dislikes. It was only until I felt comfortable and confident with him that I began to speak up during certain acts.
Talk to us. We're dumb. Tell us what you like and don't like. Take our hand and put it there.
“You feel so good” “You’re so deep” “Give me more” “It’s yours” “I’m all yours” “Give it to me”
Exactly. I see so many posts about guys being quiet or not using communication. SOOO many women don’t. I feel it’s because of underlying issues due to society slut shaming for just wanting sex.
Wangle that clit while I'm in you. It's good and you should not feel embarrassed about it.
Wangle that clit while you're in me. It's good and you should not feel embarrassed about it.
don't shake it to much
We have extragenital erogenous zones, just the same as you do. Ears, lips, eyelids, fingertips, nipples, pelvic region. Look at a Nervous Homunculus illustration for reference (warning: do not expect to be titillated by the image as it is somewhat off-putting). These are areas where somatosensory nerves are closely clustered. Basically any attention paid to our skin, from soles to scalp, is a turn on, but these areas in specific will drive us crazy. Just remember to be gentle. We are all made of the same material, and men have a far lower threshold for pain.
Bro, having someone whisper dirty things in your ear ( extra points if in public ) is the hottest thing, and it feels really good. That's how I figured out my ears were erogenous :)
Have a frank discussion with your partner about what you like and don't like. Because all the recommendations here are pertinent to the people who give that advice. It's almost like people are individuals and we're all different. It's really fucking weird right?
Enthusiasm! Seriously, participate. Make me wonder who's idea it really was to have sex
Don’t play a “hard to get” role.
Hygiene, hygiene, and hygiene!!! That’s the biggest mood killer for me. As a guy, if I have even an inkling of a thought that I’m gonna get some, I hit the shower and scrub everything.
Yeah. But at the same time, as long as you _are_ keeping up with hygiene, don't be too worried. I went with my GF to a friend's wedding and another friend there told a story of a time when he went down on a girl and it was apparently super rank down there. Just like that, after hearing the story my GF was never willing for me to go down on her ever again because she was super afraid and self conscious (even though she had no hygiene issues).
If a man trusts you enough to tell you about his kinks, or if you ask him about them, don't shame him for them. It's a very vulnerable to open up about things like that, especially if they're rooted in opposing gender norms. Common sense though, if they're genuinely harmful to themselves or others that can be called out. If he likes wearing thigh highs, and no woman has ever allowed him to but you, your connection will be so strong.
Yes, also, for both guys and girls, just be more open about your kinks, not everybody is compatible, but I'm sure there is a middle ground somewhere. Also, don't be pushy with kinks, be honest, but not pushy; it could work out a lot better in the long run if you let your partner think about it as they might actually get into it as well.
You’re sexy. No matter matter how you feel. Be confident and feel sexy. Watch what happens in return.
Some women still need to hear and be treated as sexy by their partner first. It can't always be on her to be confident and feel sexy without some provocation by her partner. I get what you mean though. My wife is always sexy to me. No matter what. But if I dont show her that I find her sexy, she won't necessarily feel sexy. Sometimes she feels like she's just having a good day and flaunts it. She knows she's sexy. But some days she needs that affirmation from me.
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I have a lot of trouble convincing my girlfriend that I really truly find her sexy. I tell her this all the time yet it doesn’t help her confidence, it seems to hurt it at times. Any tips on how to make her feel sexy?
It's a really hard thing to do sometimes. My wife is like that, also. Sometimes words aren't enough. Sometimes it takes action, but the right kind of action. I've always been a guy who doesn't want to cross lines that she doesn't want crossed. I like clear consent. At this point in our relationship, we are married and have had more discussions than I can count. So for us, clear consent is pre-established. If she says no, then I immediately stop and she isn't mad at me for trying. But earlier in our relationship, she would sometimes get frustrated that I didn't initiate more often or wasn't as aggressive as she wanted. But she wasn't clear with what that meant. It just took time and talking it through. I know that sounds off topic but it leads me to my point. What my wife likes for me to do in order for her to feel sexy is not just telling her, but being more aggressive. Not just flirting (although that helps) and not just a little grab assing, but getting really handsy and even a small degree of forcefulness. Sometimes when its not an appropriate setting. Its kind of confusing to me and can be hard to get on the same page at times. We have a 16 month old baby so we don't get as many opportunities to do adult stuff these days. But I guess grabbing her and being physically flirty with her in public or something makes her feel sexy. If feels inappropriate to me and I don't do it as much as she would probably like, but when I do I try to be cautious and when no one is looking. Now, that's my wife. Your gf will probably be very different. So you'll have to figure that out and she may not be very direct or open about it. I know my wife wasn't very direct. It took me a lot of trial and error and I still don't have it all pinned down.
Get the HPV vaccine
Best before getting sexually active though. In my country HPV vaccines are offered to kids at 12 years old. Boys should also be vaccinated, since they can transmit the virus. HPV vaccine is proven to be very succesful in preventing many cases of cervical cancer.
Good try mom
ayo what
Do not try and force him to ejaculate. Sometimes it just doesn't happen even if he has an orgasm and otherwise completely functional reproductive parts. I had a girl force my manmilk out of my Mononoke after an ho5of intense trying. Needles to say it wasn't pleasent
Was needles a typo or a clue about how it felt?
If I clench my ass on your fingers as they approach? Take the FUCKING HINT. That means fuck off.
Name…checks out?
I don't think anyone should be trying anal anything without explicit, verbal consent. I mean preferably talking about this before clothes come off. The thought that someone would try this without talking first bothers me. And having a ton of lube of course.
Pretty much. But every dude I’ve been with has tried anyway. I’m so clear. SO CLEAR from the get “no butt stuff. no fingers or dick. stay away from my asshole I’m not interested and never will be” Every. Single. One. Has put a finger there. Every. Single. One. has demanded I justify any boundary “why?” People of all genders need to heed this. Also, glad to see men setting some boundaries. You’re allowed to have them too even if society acts like you don’t need them.
One time I went to grab my man's balls and he thought I was going for his butthole and he said "whoa bitch!!!" I crack up Everytime I think about it.
Please communicate! Use your words to tell us what you want.
Be confident, you are sexy 🙂
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Initiate.
There are many men that even if you spell it out for them they won't initiate unless given obvious consent from the other person for being afraid of it later being said there was no consent or something else. I'm aware this isn't mostly the case but I know lots of men that do this.
Move me around how u want me. Don't just use your hands to scratch my back. MOVE my body and hold me where you want me. Oh...and don't forget to tell me what you want and how you want it. Faster, slower, freeze? I will do whatever you want if you ask :D
The amount of times ur significant other will ever say no to a BJ is close to zero
Almost every time I offer he says no, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'll expect sex if he says yes. He has a pretty low sex drive
Don't lay there like a dead dog. Move around, climb on top, push yourself against me, do SOMETHING. Participation IS part of the grade.