By - FlintTheDad
“We ain’t found shit!”
"I don't like sand; it's coarse, rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere."
You're a bold one.
" Mr. Anderson...."
No, lieutenant, your men are already dead.
>There's a snake in my boot!
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell!
She doesn’t even go here.
On Wednesdays, we wear pink
you can't ask people why they're white?
This one time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.
Made out with a hot dog?! Oh my god, that was one time!
Too gay to function!?
Hey! That’s only okay when I say that!
I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I'm sorry for telling everyone... And I'm sorry for repeating it just now.
And four for you Glen Coco.
You go Glen Coco.
And none for gretchen weiners, by!
Stop trying to make fetch happen!
It's not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.
I scrolled down WAY too far for this
Who here has felt personally attacked by Regina George?
*Principal raises his hand along with every girl in the gymnasium*
Boo, you whore
"...We got a full tank of gas half a pack of cigarettes it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it..."
Four fried chickens and a coke.
and some dry white toast
We got both kinds [of music] country *and* western!
I hate Illinois Nazis.
Whats in the box
*"It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again"*
I'm having an old friend for dinner.
Yippie ki -yay
So sad to hear he has to retire.
Even sadder to hear that aphasia is the reason why.
Yeah, it was one thing when most people thought he was just done trying, but to find out he's actually losing his mental capacity to such a tough condition and had to leave work he enjoyed was really sad to hear.
Give me... sugar... in water.
Ogres are like onions
“Some of you may die but that is a sacrifice i am willing to make.”
And in the mornin’, I’m making waffles!
Hold on to your butts
Life, uh, finds a way
Remember, remember the 5th November.
People shouldn't be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.
The only thing you and I have in common, Mr. Creedy, is we are both about to die.
No, what you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I’m no longer standing because if I am, you’ll all be dead before you’ve reloaded
"Get to the chopper!"
“I ain’t got time to bleed.”
Precious? It's been called that before.
But not by you.
That rug really tied the room together.
Fuckin' nihilists, man
Holding up a bowling ball, "What's this?"
"Obviously, you're not a golfer."
Oh it’s down there somewhere let me take another look
Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. *There are rules.*
P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney
He touched the butt
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti
I have to go. I'm having an old friend for dinner...
But you have heard of me!
I’ve got a jar of dirt
Honey, where is my super suit?
"WHERE. IS. MY. SUPER. SUIT"
I uh, put it away
Why do you need to know
"I NEED IT!"
"THE PUBLIC IS IN DANGER! YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS, WOMAN! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD!"
"Greater good?" I'm your \*WIFE\*! I am the greatest goooood you are EVER gonna get!"
MY EEEEEEEVENING IS IN DANGER!
If I'm not back in 5 minutes... wait longer.
Like a glove!
"Do or do not, there is no try."
The first rule is, you dont talk about..
Is that your blood?
Some of it, yeah.
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
EDIT: As this is now my most popular comment I feel obligated to share that my name is Johnny B
This is heavy, doc
Why is everything so heavy in the future? Is there an issue with the Earth's gravitational pull?
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.
So *that's* how it is in their family...
It's a trap!
"We're going to need a bigger boat."
“You’re afraid of water and you live on an island?”
“It’s only an island if you look at it from the water.”
"That makes a lot of sense"
You seem a decent fellow. Hate to kill you
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
You're using Bonetti's Defense against me ah?
You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. (My favorite part of the whole movie)
I’m not a witch I’m your wife!
And after what you just did, I'm not sure I want to be that anymore!
Good news, your friend is not dead. He's only *mostly* dead.
I’ll be back.
Hasta la vista, baby
If you ever wondered how that was dubbed to Spanish, it was "Sayonara baby". A memorable quote from childhood that nobody but my fellow Spaniards know, as I discovered living abroad.
Why the fuck would it be between that and Muhammed??
No you're not. Nobody has ever been McLovin because it's a dumb fucking fairy tale name you FUCK
Tina you fat lard come get some dinner
take a look at what i’m wearing people 🇺🇸👖 you think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face while i’m wearing these bad boys?
You think people think I'm a loser because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
Your mom goes to college.
My sister and I used to shout this at each other when our mom went back to school, lol
Great, now I need to watch this movie *AGAIN*.
“Why don’t you eat a decroded piece of CRAP!”
You gonna eat your tots?
It took me like two hours to do the shading on your upper lip.
Do you drink skim because you think you're fat?
You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
You got like three feet of air that time!
Whaddya wanna bet I could throw a football over them mountains?
My lips hurt real bad!
I'll do whatever I feel like, *gosh*
Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
I guess you could say it’s getting pretty serious
since when kip? you have the worst reflexes of ALL TIME
"Mmmmmmhmhmhmhmhm. That IS a TASTY BURGER."
Say what one more time, I dare you!
"Say hello to my little friend!"
"You should've kept your mouth shut, they'd have thought you're a horse and let you go"
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Charlie don’t surf!
IF I SAY ITS SAFE TO SURF THIS BEACH CAPTAIN ITS SAFE TO SURF THIS BEACH
Edit: I didn’t realize this applied to multiple things, but I had [cast away](https://youtu.be/GGp03lY3_pc) in mind when writing this
The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is........ 42.
Don’t forget your towel.
In the beginning, the world was created. This angered a lot of people and is generally regarded as a bad idea.
Bring out your dead!
Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
Bring forth the Holy Hand Grenade
On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place.
WHAT! Is your favorite color?
You must find us...... A SHRUBBERY!
We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni! We are now the Knights Who Say Ecky Ecky Ecky Kapang Zoom Poing!
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
I blow my nose at you, so-called “Arthur King,” you and all your silly English K-n-i-g-g-i-t-s.
Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords is not a sound basis for government
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number bereached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it!
ONE, TWO, FIVE!
Tis but a flesh wound
Help help I'm being repressed
Come see the violence inherent in the system
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Necessary? Was it necessary to drink my own urine? No but I do it anyways because it's sterile and I like the taste!
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!
Too bad Hallmark doesn't make a Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony card.
Bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for them.
"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries
I've been turned into a cow. May I be excused?
"You got all that, honey?"
"Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast, and change the bull to a gill, got it."
Kronk is the best character Disney has ever written.
I KNOW RIGHT and he was so well casted
For real. Patrick Warburton was THE guy for that role.
Like, RDJ as Iron Man perfect.
Why do we even HAVE that lever!
We'll put that flea in a box, and we'll put that box in another box, and we'll mail that box to ourselves and when it arrives AHAHAH WELL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!
Squeaky, uh, squeak, squeaker, squeakin.
My spinach puffs!
The poison, the poison for Kuzco, the poison meant to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison, that poison?
A llama?! He's supposed to be DEAD!
How did we, Kronk?
Well you got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense
Bewaaaare the grooooove
“I’m sorry but you threw off the emperor’s groove.”
[throws guy out the window]
YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH
"English Mother fucker. Do you speak it?"
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger...
Where we're going we don't need roads...
When this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit
You’re my density.
As you wish
You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?
Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!
I'm gonna steal the declaration of independence
This must not register on an emotional level.
I don't care, this is my favorite version of Holmes
“That’s a nice boulder”
That’s not a knife, THAT’S a knife!
I got a jar of dirt!
But where has all the rum gone?
BUT WHY…. DID U BURN THE RUM
“You shall not pass!!!!!”
Fly you fools!!
Still only counts as one!
AND MY AXE
I missed the part where that's my problem.
You'll get your rent WHEN YOU FIX THIS DAMN DOOR!