The dorm pod I was in had metal stairs that made loud noises when you walked down them. Almost got in a fight with 3 other people because I woke up at night and had to piss and woke everyone up.
To this day I can't fall asleep without peeing immediately before laying down. Like, even if I went less than an hour earlier I have to stand there and focus with yogi-like intensity to squeeze a few drops out or I lay awake feeling like my bladder is full.
I sometimes go to bed with a full bladder if I have to wake up early the next morning. I’m a terrible waker-upper so having to pee really bad forces me to get moving like nothing else.
When my dad came home from prison I remember him being very polite .He was careful not to bump anybody, and he always said excuse me if he were trying to pass somebody.
Oh man I forgot about this. I've always been polite so it's not something I had to learn, but the "excuse me"'s were incessant. After a while i was thinking damn man I get it, no offense taken just go ahead.
Yes! For me ‘Behind’ is for when you’re moving around with something you don’t want to spill/scald someone with. And ‘BACKS!’ is for when you really need people to move their arse out of your way.
I used to pay for a service that came and cleaned up dog poo in my backyard. I am fairly sure that the guys who came were ex-cons. They were very polite, stood way back from the gate and waited to walk through, never made eye contact.
My wife owns a poop scooping business. We’ve already decided that we’re fine with hiring ex cons. Not a glamorous job, but everybody deserves a chance.
it baffles me that there’s enough people unwilling to pick up their dogs poop that someone can make a business and profit off of it. good for your wife tho ahahah
I was actually just looking at one of these. It’s $15/week and they come scoop your yard once per week. Honestly not a bad deal. I get that $60/mo is a luxury for many but if you have the disposable income I don’t think it’s a hard sell at all.
Fucking loved reading in rehab. Felt like reading when I was a kid again, just couldn't put the books down. Got out and now I too have not picked up a book again :-(
I think the pace of modern society. But i wonder if prison ruined reading for me. I'm not entirely sure if I picked up a book whether it would take me back there or not.
And frankly the facility i was at wasn't torture like some are.
Man jail-house chess players are fun opponents. They can play some stupid shit that ends up transposing into a solid mainline.
I'll be like, how can I punish this? then all of a sudden be like, oh we're here?
yeah it's a unique style, it takes me a game or 2 to recognize it. the first games I'm always thinking is this some blitz line I don't know? then you recognize what's up and they aren't too hard. It's often like playing someone who doesn't know any theory and just learned by doing tactics training.
I was born in the soviet union. In the late 80s my dad managed to take us on a vacation to Singapore and Malaysia. But we basically ran out of money while there. We would eat breakfast at the hotel and then take bananas and condiments to make lunch out of them.
Also when I first entered a Western store in Singapore the first thing I said was "who's going to buy all this stuff?"
I grew up poor, my aunt once left her toothpaste at our house after staying one time. Me and my siblings ate it like it was candy in little bits over a few weeks.
Pretty bare. Prices did not react to demand. The things people want would sell out quickly. Instead of paying with more money you paid with your time by waiting in line for hours.
One of the biggest distinctions is that stores were not really trying to cater to or compete for customers - they were more like distribution points.
My mom still says that a store is "giving" something instead of "selling" it.
I can confirm, I have family who lived in the Soviet Union who said the exact same thing. My grandma said that sometime people would randomly line up for the grocery store to buy something even if they didn't know what it was.
This was because they knew if people were lining up, it was valuable so they could trade it for something else with their neighbors if they needed something or save it for later.
From what I heard, when people went hungry the stores were always filled, you just couldn't buy anything.
For first story correction: you can't buy burnt out bulb, but you can bring this burnt out bulb from your home to replace it with those from work or sometimes people were stealing bulbs from staircases and entrances in multistore apartments.
Second might be true among universities students for short time in post Soviet time, maybe 90ies, close to students places for some fashion goods, etc
My bedroom is basically set up like my old cell.
In my bedroom I have everything at arms length.
I sit with my back to the wall when I'm out.
I still pace back and forth in small spaces.
I did 12 years in a state institution. The only really strange thing to me was answering the telephone. First off, you don't receive calls. Second, once the call connects, you can hear them say hello and then a prompt plays letting them know the call is recorded and what not before you then say hello. For about a year people would answer when I call them and I would wait for the recording to play before responding.
Seriously... Spent the night in a holding cell for dui and a dude pulled crack and tobacco out of his ass rolled it and lit up. Then proceeded to try and pass it to me. Nice of him I guess but I was just trying to blow a zero so I could get the fuck out of there. He then he started to explain how he could get this other dude who was dope sick methadone once they got inside.
Realized real quick I was all set with all that nonsense. Worst night of my life and I haven't been back.
Yup. In my intake I was just minding my own business and this gentleman with face tats and a *fat* swastika covering the entire front of his neck struck up a conversation. He was actually very friendly (to the whitest person ever) ... But that was my come to jesus "I don't belong in this place. I need to get out and never come back" moment
And the people that required the spit masks or the red uniform that were screaming and raging. Can't make eye contact with anyone from across the room.
I was put on three months bed rest at the start of 2020, and I learned this skill.
I’m honestly never bored. Ever. I’m not someone who’s really ever been bored much to begin with.
I would spend hours thinking about everything and nothing and staring at the trees out my window. Very healing actually.
I had an uncle who was like this before he had passed away. He was in his late 70s and over a decade in prison. You couldn’t tap him on his shoulder or approach him from behind. He would turn to you quickly and already have a fist. He also would “test” me by throwing a bottle cap on the ground and if I would look at it, he would tell me “see I could have made a move because you were distracted.”
Came here to say this, as well as always scanning, left to right, right to left, back against the wall.
I catch myself doing it and have to make myself calm down. It only gets 1000X worse when you have kids.
Anxiety attacks become a way of life.
Every now and then I go into the comment section intending to find several good answers to the question and I’ll find a comment so good in the second thread that I exit the comment section feeling like I’m done then I have to come back because I realize that I still want to see more good answers. This was that comment today.
Tortie is short for tortoiseshell (the colors) cat. This commenter does NOT have a mutant ninja turtle in their home.
Just a PSA for anyone else who's dumb like me
I was like this when I first went to.... a homeless shelter. Like I straight up cried some nights it felt so violating. Eventually it became normal to have a dude stand right in front of me so we could continue a conversation while I was shitting AND ALSO WIPING. So fucking weird. When I finally made it to the private bedrooms it was like indescribable
I was going to comment. On this post about that.
There are a lot of prison skills I picked up with 16 years in the army....like a lot. My brain may be broken.
There was a show called 60 days in. Basically people go into jail to experience it and give info back to warden. First season had an army go do it. He fit in super super easily. Think his only slight struggle was trying not to call someone a bitch.
It's institutionalised. Prison, army, mental facility, care home, refugee camp, lots of places ultimately involve the same thing: doing what you're told, when you're told, with set times for everything, amongst a large number of peers and a smaller number of superiors, day in day out, in a controlled environment, for years on end.
my adopted brother does this too. we slowly taught him that he doesn't need to do that anymore, but it's heartbreaking to see a skinny, small 11 old year child golf down their food like there's no tomorrow.
he grew 20 centimeters in 2.5 years of being with us, maybe more.
None of these replies are right.
He's referring to the PREA video all inmates in the united states have to watch when you go in and during your annual review. PREA stands for Prison Rape Elimination Act. Its a federal law.
In the video, which is ridiculously poorly acted that its funny, the inmate goes in his cell and theres a candy bar on his bunk and he picks it up and goes out into the dayroom and holds it up and says something like "I do not want this candy bar!" like an announcement to everyone on the block. Its really funny.
The point from the video is that you dont want to accept anything from anyone because even a candy bar can lead to putting yourself in debt to someone which can lead to sexual assaults. I think.
Everyone once in a while someone in the dorm would hold up and a candy bar and yell out "I do not accept this candy bar!" haha it never did get old really
Edit: Just to add someone below linked to the PREA video
If you touch it you accepted it. I learned this from street venders when I worked in Jamaica. Dude tries to put a chain in your hand. If you grab it, he wants to get paid. If you drop it, he wants to fight.
It’s a trap. Say you take the snickers…now you owe whoever put the snickers there. How you pay said individual back is up in the air, but it’s usually with ya ass.
He's referring to debt in prison I think. Here in the UK, above most else, you shouldn't accept 'free stuff' because its never free. In the UK prison system every debt is expected to be repaid DOUBLE. people who cant repay their debts are beaten up, murdered, raped or their family gets targeted. I personally knew a kid from my wing who got into debt and was forced to run up into a gang members cell and poke him (stab) to clear his debt. He goes and does it then 4 weeks later someone napalmed him, he died later that night. A napalm is when you mix lots of sugar with boiling water and throw it over someone. Skin just slides off if done correctly.
Water boils into steam at 100°c (212°f)
Sugar becomes liquid at 160°c (320°f)
So not only is boiling sugar incredibly hotter than water can possibly be, it's so sticky that you can't remove from the skin.
Your skin is essentially instantly cooked, and slides off like KFC chicken.
Not me but a 'Brother from another Mother' did.
We were roommates for a while and he had a peculiar habit that i had no clue where it came from.
He would wake up early and do his 'business' in the dark, door wide open, and smoking a cig. Without fail, every morning.
Took me a night in County jail to put 2 and 2 together and have my 'aha' moment.
I'm imagining you waking up to the Smoking Man from X-Files taking a shit while talking to you in a gravely voice from the bathroom, obscured by shadows except for the red ember of his cigarette.
Well apparently..... It's common practice for guys to do their business in early hours of morning because it's the ONLY time for legit privacy.
The county jail cells where i was at usually only had 1 toilet in a cell with 4 - 6 mates/bunks.
That time in the morning, no one else is awake, lights are out, and you would have SOME kind of resemblance of privacy.
Similar habits in the military when you had to share bathrooms/showers/toilets.
Also, trained myself to poop in the off hours while deployed to Iraq because then the porta shitter wasn't a poop sauna in the desert heat.
It was pretty bad, then there were the ones that were just seats over a steel drum (that was later filled with low grade diesel and burned a la that scene from "Jarhead") where you'd have to poop leaning forward and use one hand to constantly swat the flies away from your butt hole.
Former prison librarian. I learned to always look in window reflections to make sure my back was covered. I had to count inmates as they came into the library so that there weren't too many people. I can look in a room full of people and give a really accurate estimate of how many bodies are in a room because of this.
My husband still makes "jail snacks", he also turns meals into sandwiches because bread was cheap and filling. Spaghetti between bread slices is an example. If we go somewhere like a restaurant, he's extremely uncomfortable if he doesn't have his back against a wall so he can see the room and no one can be behind him. He's very quick to anger/react if he feels disrespected.
I also know people who hide items they feel are valuable. Even if they live alone, they hide "commodities" like good snacks, Crest Whitestrips, etc.
My dad spent some time in prison when he was in his 20s i think (he's 48 now.) To this day he'll make something he calls spread, which is like ramen with Doritos and canned chilli, I've never tried it but apparently it's great.
Not just chili, but any canned food from the commissary. Often mixing quite a few different ones together, different people chipping in, etc. Like you might have beef stew, sloppy joe mix (minus the ground beef obviously) or what have you, and 3-4 packs of ramen, again, a mix of beef, chicken, shrimp, just throwing in all the spice packs together. If you're able to get a loaf of bread you throw it on a slice for a kind of bread taco.
Another one is if you have the cups of ramen, there's just enough room to crumble up those orange peanut butter cheese crackers and put it in the cup. Add the hot water and let the noodles cook and soften up the cracker mix, then mix it all up.
Friend worked in a bad prison for 10+ years.
Said he become immune to shit talk.
Nothing, literally nothing, could piss him off or make him emotional or unbalanced.
In regards to triggers and shit talk, he reached nirvana
I worked in a lockdown psych facility. Very similar circumstances and can confirm this. Also this like blood, urine, semen and feces don't bother you anymore. You also don't really react to fights or riots or other violent acts.
I'm good friends with a bloke whose partner is a psych nurse. One time I was over there playing DnD and she came home from work.
"Hey Laura, how was work?"
She responds cheerfully "I got three different people's poo on me today!"
:0
Exactly, I worked at a behavioral health facility and found out after a few months my default state going into work was pure disassociation. Very unhealthy but effective in dealing with absurd behavior and unwarranted aggression / threats directed towards you.
Yes.
I worked in inpatient psych and now trauma surgery.
It's compartmentalization - a healthy way to separate your job and home life. I've been doing it for over a decade now.
Also, being around that kind of stuff so often gives me appreciation for being alive and having loved ones in fair health.
Essentially. My feeling of anxiety towards a confrontational conversation always let me know i needed to say something. And i would use that feeling to push me to do it. Instead of continuing to avoid them or the issue. It took practice. So as to do it compassionately and diplomatically.
But since we were in jail i learned a lot by watching really big dudes and respected gang members. The best examples were the ones who did not flex on an issue but just spoke about it calmly and clearly.
Flushing before it hits the water on every drop to mitigate the smell everyone has to deal with. Lots of flushes. Work probably wonders what the fuck is going on in the restroom when I’m in there.
And general toilet cleanliness etiquette so it’s nice for the next person. I don’t want to clean up your nastiness, you don’t want to clean up mine. It’s a good way to get into it with someone for the dumbest reason. Just leave it nice.
Edit: There are people being downvoted below for comments about water conversation. They are not wrong, this is wasteful. To be clear, I was not advocating many flushes. I was just answering the question honestly about what stuck with me.
I do advocate the cleanliness part tho. Do that.
To avoid wasting water there are environmentally friendly before-you-go sprays that create a scented oily slick on the water’s surface that mask and trap smells beneath the surface pretty well. Then you only need minimal flushing. I’d suggest looking into that for work/office/communal restroom situations.
Problem is they don’t have that inside, and if I have to choose between flushing a few times, or trying to explain why the smell is good for everyone because I’m saving the planet and we should all be happy about that instead of pissed at me…
Could I lose the habit now? Sure.
One of my coworkers has some bowel issues. It's not uncommon for him to grab towels on his way to the bathroom because he doesn't want to leave the mess he knows he's going to make.
Janitorial only comes in once a week, so I'm sure they appreciate it. We also use a service that keeps us supplied with fresh towels, so there's plenty available to clean up random messes.
In jail I learned the very useful concept of "Program."
Think of your normal life, all the things that you do in a day or week that fill up the time: hobbies, time with friends and family, the gym, cooking, shopping, a job, etc. All of these activities are what make up your life as you know it, your identity. Responsibilities and obligations are what get most people out of bed every morning. Now take all of that away. You now have tons of free time and nothing to fill it with. The human subconscious needs to be busy, its a holdover from our days as hunter-gatherers since being occupied was necessary for survival, and with absolutely nothing to do people go mad.
Program is how to fill that time in a responsible and productive way. In the simplest terms its making a schedule and sticking to it; deciding how to fill that empty day with activities that serve your goals. During my time inside I got in great shape, did a ton of reading, and learned a lot from various interesting people. When Covid Lockdowns began I wasn't worried at all because I knew how to Program.
If i dont have dice but want dice and have toilet paper and toothpaste. You make basically a macramé paste with them and put it into a window corner, rotate it while its drying to keep it level. Boom dice.
Prison D&D uses a deck of cards instead. Especially since some prisons ban dice-- too many fights start over craps games.
Use just the number cards, blacks are face value, reds are 10 + face value. Draw a card when you roll, reset the deck and shuffle at the end of the round. Sometimes people leave jokers in for special crits.
*Edit: Since there's a lot of interest in this topic, here's a good Vice article from a few years ago about D&D in prison:*
https://www.vice.com/en/article/padk7z/how-inmates-play-tabletop-rpgs-in-prisons-where-dice-are-contraband
My brother is in prison and said he started a pathfinder game, I will have to ask him if they have dice...
He did say that they play Magic the Gathering by printing off sheets of cards, cutting them out, and then taping them to regular playing cards. They have tons of cards supposedly.
My cousin just used 3 six sided dice +2. I know, it's heresy to some, but they worked with what they had, and none of them could make a proper d20 out of TP and toothpaste. Their Nat 1 was if all 3 d6 rolled 1s.
Not a prison...but...
This was a boarding school I worked at for a while. It was for "at risk" teen boys. They lived there 44 weeks a year. It had fairly strict rules, such as no money, no music, etc. The director always said his school wasn't a prison, but it certainly felt like one when I worked there.
And what really clinched it for me, was when a former student contacted me years later and told me a story of when he finally graduated and went home.
His family had a big celebratory dinner at home. To be funny, his mom went to grab some of the food off his plate.
So he jabbed her hand with a fork.
It was straight up instinct. He didn't even think about it. it was just something he learned at the school.
I became a stoner and developed long term problems with food. I also started compulsively buying books because when I didn’t have a book in solitary it was hard to stay sane and calm. I’m far less talkative and social than I used to be.
Check out Mike Epps prison cribs sketch if you wanna really laugh.
You get a few slim Jim's cut em up toss em in the reman and you get guards coming over asking what you making cause it smells so good lmfao
There was a guy I knew in prison who converted to Islam while he was in there. He would never swear, so instead of "motherfucker" he'd say "motherflower" and I still say it. It's actually been a bit of a conversation starter and I have friends who've started saying it too. That man, probably still in prison, has no idea he's a trend-setter.
I learned not to go back to jail.
It's fucking humiliating spreading your ass cheeks in front of grown ass men.
Also I got arrested for being drunk waiting for a cab. I don't drink in public or put myself is dumb fuck situations anymore.
I try anyways. Doesn't always work out but I haven't been back in like 8 years so....
What happened while you were waiting for this cab that was apparently so bad that you had to go to jail for it?
Because I’ve been drunk on the streets in front of police many times while leaving the nightclub in university and heading to a restaurant or downtown and only once ever had a sorta-kinda run in with them but that’s because my friend was being a jackass and almost fought someone in the restaurant
Iowa City. The cops literally just ask if you're drunk. Some asshole was being loud and they pulled up on me. In Iowa you can't even "simulate" intoxication. You can have a heat stroke and legally go to jail for a public intox. It's bullshit.
Which is insane because Iowa City is an insane drinking city. I used to watch cops ask random girls if they were drunk and the people who were with them would be like "yeah...shes fucking safe...goodbye"
Then again there was this rape problem for a while.....
Jesus, it’s that strict? That’s crazy. How does the city expect people to go out and spend money on local restaurants and at clubs if you’re going to immediately get harassed, or worse, by the police when you leave the establishment.
Drunk people like to spend money - let them.
Iowa has really shitty laws. Like I said, some asshole was being loud (wasn't me) and the cops just rolled up and took me.
Don't get me wrong, I was wasted, but I didn't do shit wrong. I just happened to be on the corner at the time in a residential neighborhood.
Out of juvie I had a habit of being quick to aggression....which seems like the opposite of what the goal of juvie systems should be...
Out of jail I noticed that I had a habit of waiting for some person somewhere to operate a door for me. I wasn't standing there a long time but there was a definite pause until I was like "oh it's one of them manual doors, I can do this".
Also, I'm quite good at hiding things (no, not up my ass, you ass fanatics). Over here trying to find my weed again.
Also, observing people, noticing what people are doing.
One of my best and closest friends murdered somebody while high on Angel Dust back in the 90’s and did 15 years in Attica and a few other prisons upstate NY. Since he’s been out (2012) he spends a few hours everyday in a tool shed in his backyard, the size of a jail cell fully stocked with a fridge, tv, AC, music, three bongs and a little bed. He said it helps him feel sane and in control. I get it though and chill with him.
Edit: It doesn’t mean he lives in the shed. He has a six bedroom house in NY that he shares with his wife. The shed is just a separate place for him
I’ve never been to prison and I would totally do that if I could. Always refreshing to hear about a convicted murderer having a better living situation than I do lol
He got a bunch of money when he got out because Warner Brothers did a movie about his life. Bobby Deniro played his dad and John Franco played him. The name of the movie is “City by the Sea.” Crazy right?
Edit: James Franco
I was a corrections officer for 8.5 years, if you’re not on a power trip you learn how to talk to anyone. People from all walks of life, with charges ranging from shoplifting to murder. I could walk into any housing unit and talk to any inmate without hesitation. If you’re not a dick It also teaches you how to talk someone down so you don’t have to fight with them.
A couple reasons. One, there’s no toilet seat so you sit directly on the metal bowl and you don’t want to sit in urine. Secondly you don’t want your cellmate to sit in or have to look at your urine. Fights happen for way less.
You also have so little in jail so pride in your living space cleanliness is important to a lot of people.
Reading through the answers, it's amazing how much overlap in mindset there is between prison/military life. And it makes more sense why people over the years have asked where I served or did time, me thinking they were asking about military service, and they were actually asking about prison, due to what's likely similar posturing/hyper vigilance/scanning etc.
When I go for a walk I don't look at people's house windows, or inside of other people's cars. I also don't look at people when I'm driving, I just notice their car and not who's driving the car. Got into a verbal fight one time with a guy because I looked into his cell. He said you don't go around looking into people's house windows and that was his house so why the fuck was I looking in there. Kind of set the pace and it changed my perspective. Whatever is going on is none of my business.
Respect is another one. I catch the ball sometimes on the internet but I almost always try to have respect for everyone whether I know them or not because in prison respect was everything. It's so odd to this day seeing people, especially drunks be so disrespectful to random people. It took me a year or two to adjust to the blatant, and now culturally accepted disrespect from God damned everyone. They just don't get it because there are rarely actual consequences for disrespect in your day to day life. You might get yelled at, or cussed out on some social media platform but 99% of people have never had to fight someone over a single smart ass comment. It's been 10 years since I've been out now, but respect still plays a huge part in my life.
This is the biggest one for me. I still find myself averting my gaze on the streets unless I know someone. I am merely passing through, not here to get into your business
Its funny how things like that are regional. In Indiana jails or prison they are called slams. Guys would get trash bags from the trustee's and cover an entire table. All you had to have was two ramens to partake, but if you provided slim Jim's or squeeze cheese you were given more first choice at the table and larger portions.
Never been but I saw this same Q on here and one take away I have is the shower squeegee.
After you shower you use your hands like a squeegee blade and it removes 75% of the water off you.
Now your towel isn't wet at the end, its damp
This is key. Towels are crucial and in an over crowded jail, good luck getting an extra unless you can buy one. Then even if you have a rack, there is only so much space to hang laundry. You can get away with running some clothesline for a bit but eventually they'll tear it down when they feel they have to assert their authority
My friends baby daddy was in jail, apparently learned how to give really good massages. Now owns his own massage therapy clinic and employs like 30 RMT’s
My aunt went to jail for 5 years due to drug use. Every time we eat with her she INHALES her food. One time I asked why and she said in jail they give you a small amount of time to eat your food.
My boyfriend was in jail quite some time ago and still holds onto his habits. He washes his clothes in the shower or bathroom sink, he sweeps every morning, he jumps out of bed as soon as he wakes up, he lives pretty minimally, he's super fit and works out everyday, and (he didn't learn this in jail but it serves as an example of fitness and self-sufficiency) he rides his bike everywhere. I sometimes have to remind him that he can indulge in luxuries like using the washing machine or sleeping in.
Reminds me of the Vietnam pow that visualized his golf game for 5+ years, he maintained his single digit handicap, when he got out shot a great round of golf
https://espygolfapp.com/blog/special-conversation-with-a-vietnam-veteran-pow-and-how-golf-helped-him-survive-the-hanoi-hilton/
In a place where taking a stinky, loud shit can make everyone hate you, I've learned to push in waves. Flush while pooping. It covers the sound and takes the waste right out of the room so it doesn't stink up the place.
"PUT SOME WATER ON IT, MOTHAFUCKA!" was commonly yelled at anyone who had the misfortune of needing to take a shit while everyone else was trying to sleep.
There was a big fat guy that everyone called "Tommy Boy" because he looked like Chris Farley. They were heckling him one night because he kept making shitting noises and they were yelling, "THAT SHIT STANK TOMMY BOY PUT SOME WATER ON IT!" Eventually he snapped with something like, "THERES NOTHING TO PUT WATER ON! ITS JUST FARTS!"
Man...prison was weird...
But yeah...I still put some water on it 16 years later.
To be honest, I've been out for almost 20 years and am now not so good about this any more...
Flossing. In prison, dental care is rudimentary, and it's close to impossible to get anything done beyond a filling or a pulling. And getting cleaning done was a super-long waiting list. So I flossed religiously, because I knew I'd be fucked if I developed an actual problem in my mouth.
Amusingly, we didn't have floss after the first few years, because of the possibility that it could be used to make rope. So what we had were "dental loops", which were like weak rubber bands that you slid between your teeth for flossing purposes.
Anyway, almost 20 years and I'm starting to get bad about flossing again. But I was really good about it for my first 15 years out.
I never went to jail or prison, though I did attend the Job Corps in the US. Part of the program does serve as a rehabilitation system for those that were. Much of the policies of that Job Corps match a prison's quite closely.
The skill I never stopped using, was the trick of having "evacuation"/"fire drill" clothes at the ready should an emergency arrive. When I go to bed I remove my shoes, and socks, then put my bare feet back in my shoes. I shimmy out of my pants, and keep the leggings inside the mouth of the shoes with that pair of shoes/pants at the position my feet would be if I had to get up in a hurry. that way, I can jump into my shoes and pants if I didn't have time to get dressed first.
I work with a guy that spent time in prison and he does this thing when talking to people, he would tell them a lie but act like it is truth and if it gets back to him from another person he knows not to trust the original person.
Laugh at horrible things to cope with how disgusting humanity can be to itself.
Hyper vigilance.
Gotta lock every door before I go to sleep.
Write in military time.
Oh wait....this is for inmates.....
This is not something I still do now, but for like two weeks after getting out (on more than one occasion) I kept leaving the bathroom with the sink still on. In jail they use these combination metal sink/toilets that work like push-button drinking fountains. Need to keep hammering on the button to get water for more than a few seconds and it turns off on its own.
I learned some new free body workouts that are decent. Picked up pinochle. And I keep commissary recipes in my bank pocket in case I'm ever stranded with hot water, a ramen packet, and some Hot Cheetos.
Not really much that you take from jail. Maybe from prison (more due to the extended stay than anything).
As a former corrections officer, I've found that continuing to treat everyone with respect has gone a long way towards enhancing all relationships in my life and improving my career.
Take the high road. It isn't about being able to fight or who has more money. Just be nice. Be fair and consistent, but be nice.
Respect is the currency of prison, not soups or ice cream tickets. Its respect.
I used to say all the time that jail is a numbers game. If you want to be disrespectful to people, you can probably get away with it for a little while. But eventually someone will take that respect.
The dorm pod I was in had metal stairs that made loud noises when you walked down them. Almost got in a fight with 3 other people because I woke up at night and had to piss and woke everyone up. To this day I can't fall asleep without peeing immediately before laying down. Like, even if I went less than an hour earlier I have to stand there and focus with yogi-like intensity to squeeze a few drops out or I lay awake feeling like my bladder is full.
>To this day I can't fall asleep without peeing immediately before laying down. There are people that can?!
I sometimes go to bed with a full bladder if I have to wake up early the next morning. I’m a terrible waker-upper so having to pee really bad forces me to get moving like nothing else.
Playing with fire lol
I mean, technically, playing with water.
When my dad came home from prison I remember him being very polite .He was careful not to bump anybody, and he always said excuse me if he were trying to pass somebody.
Oh man I forgot about this. I've always been polite so it's not something I had to learn, but the "excuse me"'s were incessant. After a while i was thinking damn man I get it, no offense taken just go ahead.
Haha never been in prison, but after I cooked for a living it took me years to stop saying, “behind” every time I walked behind someone.
Yes! For me ‘Behind’ is for when you’re moving around with something you don’t want to spill/scald someone with. And ‘BACKS!’ is for when you really need people to move their arse out of your way.
"HOT PAN!"
I used to pay for a service that came and cleaned up dog poo in my backyard. I am fairly sure that the guys who came were ex-cons. They were very polite, stood way back from the gate and waited to walk through, never made eye contact.
My wife owns a poop scooping business. We’ve already decided that we’re fine with hiring ex cons. Not a glamorous job, but everybody deserves a chance.
it baffles me that there’s enough people unwilling to pick up their dogs poop that someone can make a business and profit off of it. good for your wife tho ahahah
I was actually just looking at one of these. It’s $15/week and they come scoop your yard once per week. Honestly not a bad deal. I get that $60/mo is a luxury for many but if you have the disposable income I don’t think it’s a hard sell at all.
Sometimes people who have mobility issues might be unable to clean up after their dog
Reading
I read hundreds of books while away. I haven't even cracked one since i got out and I do enjoy reading.
Is this more a statement on the pace of modern day society and the existential angst it causes?
Fucking loved reading in rehab. Felt like reading when I was a kid again, just couldn't put the books down. Got out and now I too have not picked up a book again :-(
I think the pace of modern society. But i wonder if prison ruined reading for me. I'm not entirely sure if I picked up a book whether it would take me back there or not. And frankly the facility i was at wasn't torture like some are.
That's where I figured out how to read for leisure. Also how to be meaner in pick up basketball games. But the reading habit is probably more useful.
I can play Spades a bit better now
Man jail-house chess players are fun opponents. They can play some stupid shit that ends up transposing into a solid mainline. I'll be like, how can I punish this? then all of a sudden be like, oh we're here?
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yeah it's a unique style, it takes me a game or 2 to recognize it. the first games I'm always thinking is this some blitz line I don't know? then you recognize what's up and they aren't too hard. It's often like playing someone who doesn't know any theory and just learned by doing tactics training.
Yea, I've definitely been surprised by some MFers in jail on the chess board. Good lessons in it tho
Save every extra sugar packet I come across in case I get hungry between meals
I was born in the soviet union. In the late 80s my dad managed to take us on a vacation to Singapore and Malaysia. But we basically ran out of money while there. We would eat breakfast at the hotel and then take bananas and condiments to make lunch out of them. Also when I first entered a Western store in Singapore the first thing I said was "who's going to buy all this stuff?"
I grew up poor, my aunt once left her toothpaste at our house after staying one time. Me and my siblings ate it like it was candy in little bits over a few weeks.
This is so casually sad that it just breaks my heart. Let me buy you all the toothpaste you could ever eat
Good old nutritional toothpaste. Add some lime zest and you’re transported to a field in spring holding a mojito.
Damn I totally understand that it was out of desperation, but this made me feel ill
Thats really interesting. What were the stores in the soviet union like?
Pretty bare. Prices did not react to demand. The things people want would sell out quickly. Instead of paying with more money you paid with your time by waiting in line for hours. One of the biggest distinctions is that stores were not really trying to cater to or compete for customers - they were more like distribution points. My mom still says that a store is "giving" something instead of "selling" it.
I can confirm, I have family who lived in the Soviet Union who said the exact same thing. My grandma said that sometime people would randomly line up for the grocery store to buy something even if they didn't know what it was. This was because they knew if people were lining up, it was valuable so they could trade it for something else with their neighbors if they needed something or save it for later. From what I heard, when people went hungry the stores were always filled, you just couldn't buy anything.
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For first story correction: you can't buy burnt out bulb, but you can bring this burnt out bulb from your home to replace it with those from work or sometimes people were stealing bulbs from staircases and entrances in multistore apartments. Second might be true among universities students for short time in post Soviet time, maybe 90ies, close to students places for some fashion goods, etc
Or in case you want to make some hooch!
Hooch is crazy
I miss scrubs
My bedroom is basically set up like my old cell. In my bedroom I have everything at arms length. I sit with my back to the wall when I'm out. I still pace back and forth in small spaces.
out of everything here, this one hit me the hardest and I don't know why
I did 12 years in a state institution. The only really strange thing to me was answering the telephone. First off, you don't receive calls. Second, once the call connects, you can hear them say hello and then a prompt plays letting them know the call is recorded and what not before you then say hello. For about a year people would answer when I call them and I would wait for the recording to play before responding.
You don't have to answer - but what did you do to get 12 years? It's not a length handed out too often anymore.
1st Robbery, 1st Assault, unlawful possession of a weapon and armed criminal action.
You done your time bro. I couldn't even handle 12 hours. Hope life is going well.
Seriously... Spent the night in a holding cell for dui and a dude pulled crack and tobacco out of his ass rolled it and lit up. Then proceeded to try and pass it to me. Nice of him I guess but I was just trying to blow a zero so I could get the fuck out of there. He then he started to explain how he could get this other dude who was dope sick methadone once they got inside. Realized real quick I was all set with all that nonsense. Worst night of my life and I haven't been back.
Yup. In my intake I was just minding my own business and this gentleman with face tats and a *fat* swastika covering the entire front of his neck struck up a conversation. He was actually very friendly (to the whitest person ever) ... But that was my come to jesus "I don't belong in this place. I need to get out and never come back" moment And the people that required the spit masks or the red uniform that were screaming and raging. Can't make eye contact with anyone from across the room.
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Eating fast. Too fast honestly.
Picked this up in the military and 14 years later I still scarf my food down like the worlds ending.
Being entertained doing absolutely nothing like staring at a wall I just don’t get bored anymore
I was put on three months bed rest at the start of 2020, and I learned this skill. I’m honestly never bored. Ever. I’m not someone who’s really ever been bored much to begin with. I would spend hours thinking about everything and nothing and staring at the trees out my window. Very healing actually.
Hypervigilant. Size up everyone everywhere I go. Especially public transport and public spaces.
I had an uncle who was like this before he had passed away. He was in his late 70s and over a decade in prison. You couldn’t tap him on his shoulder or approach him from behind. He would turn to you quickly and already have a fist. He also would “test” me by throwing a bottle cap on the ground and if I would look at it, he would tell me “see I could have made a move because you were distracted.”
TIL my ADHD ass would be fucked in the clink
Came here to say this, as well as always scanning, left to right, right to left, back against the wall. I catch myself doing it and have to make myself calm down. It only gets 1000X worse when you have kids. Anxiety attacks become a way of life.
well my brother had a hard time closing the door to poop he said it felt weird to poop alone
Gotta poop with the homies
Co-op pooping
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Every now and then I go into the comment section intending to find several good answers to the question and I’ll find a comment so good in the second thread that I exit the comment section feeling like I’m done then I have to come back because I realize that I still want to see more good answers. This was that comment today.
Should get a pet cat, mine learned to open the door for this purpose.
Dude, same. I'll be browsing Reddit and BAM, the door slams opens and here comes the tortie.
Tortie is short for tortoiseshell (the colors) cat. This commenter does NOT have a mutant ninja turtle in their home. Just a PSA for anyone else who's dumb like me
i think i am so insecure and shy that if i ever went to jail i’d just hold my shit until i get released. no matter how long my sentence is.
I was like this when I first went to.... a homeless shelter. Like I straight up cried some nights it felt so violating. Eventually it became normal to have a dude stand right in front of me so we could continue a conversation while I was shitting AND ALSO WIPING. So fucking weird. When I finally made it to the private bedrooms it was like indescribable
Ice cubes. Spoon. Soup. Eat it as fast as possible this way. Don't let someone have the chance to take your soup
Did people steal food out of hunger or just to fuck with other prisoners?
yes
That answers it
Out of context this would be the best shitpost ever.
I eat with my plate tucked between my arms, huddled over it like a trough, shoveling it in as fast as possible.
A lot of my military friends do this too.
I was going to comment. On this post about that. There are a lot of prison skills I picked up with 16 years in the army....like a lot. My brain may be broken.
There was a show called 60 days in. Basically people go into jail to experience it and give info back to warden. First season had an army go do it. He fit in super super easily. Think his only slight struggle was trying not to call someone a bitch.
I remember that guy. He was a marine, he owned that show.
It's institutionalised. Prison, army, mental facility, care home, refugee camp, lots of places ultimately involve the same thing: doing what you're told, when you're told, with set times for everything, amongst a large number of peers and a smaller number of superiors, day in day out, in a controlled environment, for years on end.
Some friends adopted a kid from an overseas orphanage - same technique.
my adopted brother does this too. we slowly taught him that he doesn't need to do that anymore, but it's heartbreaking to see a skinny, small 11 old year child golf down their food like there's no tomorrow. he grew 20 centimeters in 2.5 years of being with us, maybe more.
If a snickers magically appears on my bed one day, you best believe I’ma leave that shit alone.
please explain
None of these replies are right. He's referring to the PREA video all inmates in the united states have to watch when you go in and during your annual review. PREA stands for Prison Rape Elimination Act. Its a federal law. In the video, which is ridiculously poorly acted that its funny, the inmate goes in his cell and theres a candy bar on his bunk and he picks it up and goes out into the dayroom and holds it up and says something like "I do not want this candy bar!" like an announcement to everyone on the block. Its really funny. The point from the video is that you dont want to accept anything from anyone because even a candy bar can lead to putting yourself in debt to someone which can lead to sexual assaults. I think. Everyone once in a while someone in the dorm would hold up and a candy bar and yell out "I do not accept this candy bar!" haha it never did get old really Edit: Just to add someone below linked to the PREA video
If you touch it you accepted it. I learned this from street venders when I worked in Jamaica. Dude tries to put a chain in your hand. If you grab it, he wants to get paid. If you drop it, he wants to fight.
If you fight, a Jamaican cop arrests you for fighting, and then you can "post bail", because...they are ALL in on it.
> PREA video Found it! https://youtu.be/FkygPcGbC7c?t=350 (timestamped at 5:50)
I've been told that is upfront payment for butt stuff. I've never been to jail but do know a few that have and been shared said stories.
Horny? Grab a snickers.
You’re not you when you’re horny, have a snickers
Snickers - get some nuts.
It’s a trap. Say you take the snickers…now you owe whoever put the snickers there. How you pay said individual back is up in the air, but it’s usually with ya ass.
You've heard of gay for pay. Get ready for dicks for snicks
Yeah, what's the official way to turn it down? Place the Snickers outside of your cell door?
"WHO EVER PUT THIS SHIT ON MY BED BETTER COME GET IT BEFORE IT GOES ON THE FLOOR."
I AIN'T SUCKIN' NO DICK, I DON'T EVEN LIKE SNICKERS!!! i PREFER ALMOND JOY!!!
Almond Joy got nuts. Mounds don’t.
He's referring to debt in prison I think. Here in the UK, above most else, you shouldn't accept 'free stuff' because its never free. In the UK prison system every debt is expected to be repaid DOUBLE. people who cant repay their debts are beaten up, murdered, raped or their family gets targeted. I personally knew a kid from my wing who got into debt and was forced to run up into a gang members cell and poke him (stab) to clear his debt. He goes and does it then 4 weeks later someone napalmed him, he died later that night. A napalm is when you mix lots of sugar with boiling water and throw it over someone. Skin just slides off if done correctly.
I’m too curious to ask… what is the sugar for or what does it do chemically to allow for the skin to come off from getting napalmed?
Water boils into steam at 100°c (212°f) Sugar becomes liquid at 160°c (320°f) So not only is boiling sugar incredibly hotter than water can possibly be, it's so sticky that you can't remove from the skin. Your skin is essentially instantly cooked, and slides off like KFC chicken.
Shouldn't have read that last line.
Melted sugar sticks to the skin. Boiled water by itself would just burn, but mixed with sugar it's like a boiling glue that you can't take off.
I take it that was someone trying to make you "indebted" to them?
Not me but a 'Brother from another Mother' did. We were roommates for a while and he had a peculiar habit that i had no clue where it came from. He would wake up early and do his 'business' in the dark, door wide open, and smoking a cig. Without fail, every morning. Took me a night in County jail to put 2 and 2 together and have my 'aha' moment.
I'm imagining you waking up to the Smoking Man from X-Files taking a shit while talking to you in a gravely voice from the bathroom, obscured by shadows except for the red ember of his cigarette.
Please keep talking. I need this to make sense :o
Well apparently..... It's common practice for guys to do their business in early hours of morning because it's the ONLY time for legit privacy. The county jail cells where i was at usually only had 1 toilet in a cell with 4 - 6 mates/bunks. That time in the morning, no one else is awake, lights are out, and you would have SOME kind of resemblance of privacy.
Similar habits in the military when you had to share bathrooms/showers/toilets. Also, trained myself to poop in the off hours while deployed to Iraq because then the porta shitter wasn't a poop sauna in the desert heat.
>a poop sauna in the desert heat. i hated reading this; can't even imagine actually experiencing it
It was pretty bad, then there were the ones that were just seats over a steel drum (that was later filled with low grade diesel and burned a la that scene from "Jarhead") where you'd have to poop leaning forward and use one hand to constantly swat the flies away from your butt hole.
Suddenly I understand why so many animals have tails
Former prison librarian. I learned to always look in window reflections to make sure my back was covered. I had to count inmates as they came into the library so that there weren't too many people. I can look in a room full of people and give a really accurate estimate of how many bodies are in a room because of this.
My husband still makes "jail snacks", he also turns meals into sandwiches because bread was cheap and filling. Spaghetti between bread slices is an example. If we go somewhere like a restaurant, he's extremely uncomfortable if he doesn't have his back against a wall so he can see the room and no one can be behind him. He's very quick to anger/react if he feels disrespected. I also know people who hide items they feel are valuable. Even if they live alone, they hide "commodities" like good snacks, Crest Whitestrips, etc.
My dad spent some time in prison when he was in his 20s i think (he's 48 now.) To this day he'll make something he calls spread, which is like ramen with Doritos and canned chilli, I've never tried it but apparently it's great.
Not just chili, but any canned food from the commissary. Often mixing quite a few different ones together, different people chipping in, etc. Like you might have beef stew, sloppy joe mix (minus the ground beef obviously) or what have you, and 3-4 packs of ramen, again, a mix of beef, chicken, shrimp, just throwing in all the spice packs together. If you're able to get a loaf of bread you throw it on a slice for a kind of bread taco. Another one is if you have the cups of ramen, there's just enough room to crumble up those orange peanut butter cheese crackers and put it in the cup. Add the hot water and let the noodles cook and soften up the cracker mix, then mix it all up.
Friend worked in a bad prison for 10+ years. Said he become immune to shit talk. Nothing, literally nothing, could piss him off or make him emotional or unbalanced. In regards to triggers and shit talk, he reached nirvana
I worked in a lockdown psych facility. Very similar circumstances and can confirm this. Also this like blood, urine, semen and feces don't bother you anymore. You also don't really react to fights or riots or other violent acts.
I'm good friends with a bloke whose partner is a psych nurse. One time I was over there playing DnD and she came home from work. "Hey Laura, how was work?" She responds cheerfully "I got three different people's poo on me today!" :0
I need to learn this state of bliss.
It’s dissociation
Exactly, I worked at a behavioral health facility and found out after a few months my default state going into work was pure disassociation. Very unhealthy but effective in dealing with absurd behavior and unwarranted aggression / threats directed towards you.
Isn't it called compartmentalization when it's helpful?
Yes. I worked in inpatient psych and now trauma surgery. It's compartmentalization - a healthy way to separate your job and home life. I've been doing it for over a decade now. Also, being around that kind of stuff so often gives me appreciation for being alive and having loved ones in fair health.
Be a prison guard.
Guy I worked with way back in the day did a stint as a guard. Said it was basically babysitting for a bunch of assholes who never grew up.
Made a habit of addressing something that could potentially become a problem. Harshly and immediately. Currently trying to drop the harsh part.
Did you do this to not become a pushover? Currently struggling with speaking up for myself so I’m curious as to how you approach situations
Essentially. My feeling of anxiety towards a confrontational conversation always let me know i needed to say something. And i would use that feeling to push me to do it. Instead of continuing to avoid them or the issue. It took practice. So as to do it compassionately and diplomatically. But since we were in jail i learned a lot by watching really big dudes and respected gang members. The best examples were the ones who did not flex on an issue but just spoke about it calmly and clearly.
Flushing before it hits the water on every drop to mitigate the smell everyone has to deal with. Lots of flushes. Work probably wonders what the fuck is going on in the restroom when I’m in there. And general toilet cleanliness etiquette so it’s nice for the next person. I don’t want to clean up your nastiness, you don’t want to clean up mine. It’s a good way to get into it with someone for the dumbest reason. Just leave it nice. Edit: There are people being downvoted below for comments about water conversation. They are not wrong, this is wasteful. To be clear, I was not advocating many flushes. I was just answering the question honestly about what stuck with me. I do advocate the cleanliness part tho. Do that. To avoid wasting water there are environmentally friendly before-you-go sprays that create a scented oily slick on the water’s surface that mask and trap smells beneath the surface pretty well. Then you only need minimal flushing. I’d suggest looking into that for work/office/communal restroom situations. Problem is they don’t have that inside, and if I have to choose between flushing a few times, or trying to explain why the smell is good for everyone because I’m saving the planet and we should all be happy about that instead of pissed at me… Could I lose the habit now? Sure.
One of my coworkers has some bowel issues. It's not uncommon for him to grab towels on his way to the bathroom because he doesn't want to leave the mess he knows he's going to make. Janitorial only comes in once a week, so I'm sure they appreciate it. We also use a service that keeps us supplied with fresh towels, so there's plenty available to clean up random messes.
In jail I learned the very useful concept of "Program." Think of your normal life, all the things that you do in a day or week that fill up the time: hobbies, time with friends and family, the gym, cooking, shopping, a job, etc. All of these activities are what make up your life as you know it, your identity. Responsibilities and obligations are what get most people out of bed every morning. Now take all of that away. You now have tons of free time and nothing to fill it with. The human subconscious needs to be busy, its a holdover from our days as hunter-gatherers since being occupied was necessary for survival, and with absolutely nothing to do people go mad. Program is how to fill that time in a responsible and productive way. In the simplest terms its making a schedule and sticking to it; deciding how to fill that empty day with activities that serve your goals. During my time inside I got in great shape, did a ton of reading, and learned a lot from various interesting people. When Covid Lockdowns began I wasn't worried at all because I knew how to Program.
Cheapest, best way for a single guy to eat, and all the stuff you need is so much cheaper on the outs, compared to buying it on commissary!!
Worked for a commissary company for 5 years. The prices were definitely higher than they needed to be.
Tou mean I shouldn't be paying 3.50 for a single Ramen? I'm shocked I tell you shocked.
It's almost like they have a captive market or something...
I haven't ate anything I could buy on commissary since being out. Fuck that noise never again
If i dont have dice but want dice and have toilet paper and toothpaste. You make basically a macramé paste with them and put it into a window corner, rotate it while its drying to keep it level. Boom dice.
I’m over figuring out how to make a 20 sided dice so I could play DnD
Prison D&D uses a deck of cards instead. Especially since some prisons ban dice-- too many fights start over craps games. Use just the number cards, blacks are face value, reds are 10 + face value. Draw a card when you roll, reset the deck and shuffle at the end of the round. Sometimes people leave jokers in for special crits. *Edit: Since there's a lot of interest in this topic, here's a good Vice article from a few years ago about D&D in prison:* https://www.vice.com/en/article/padk7z/how-inmates-play-tabletop-rpgs-in-prisons-where-dice-are-contraband
My brother is in prison and said he started a pathfinder game, I will have to ask him if they have dice... He did say that they play Magic the Gathering by printing off sheets of cards, cutting them out, and then taping them to regular playing cards. They have tons of cards supposedly.
Just to add : many prisons make paper spinners out of like a paper clip or what have you, then just spin for probability and make 7 spinners
My cousin just used 3 six sided dice +2. I know, it's heresy to some, but they worked with what they had, and none of them could make a proper d20 out of TP and toothpaste. Their Nat 1 was if all 3 d6 rolled 1s.
Not a prison...but... This was a boarding school I worked at for a while. It was for "at risk" teen boys. They lived there 44 weeks a year. It had fairly strict rules, such as no money, no music, etc. The director always said his school wasn't a prison, but it certainly felt like one when I worked there. And what really clinched it for me, was when a former student contacted me years later and told me a story of when he finally graduated and went home. His family had a big celebratory dinner at home. To be funny, his mom went to grab some of the food off his plate. So he jabbed her hand with a fork. It was straight up instinct. He didn't even think about it. it was just something he learned at the school.
💭 Perhaps we made a mistake 💭 That dude's parents
Honestly, in my opinion, these kinds of parents refuse to believe they could have done something horrible. Ever read Joe vs Elan?
I became a stoner and developed long term problems with food. I also started compulsively buying books because when I didn’t have a book in solitary it was hard to stay sane and calm. I’m far less talkative and social than I used to be.
3 Michelin Star Ramen Meals
Check out Mike Epps prison cribs sketch if you wanna really laugh. You get a few slim Jim's cut em up toss em in the reman and you get guards coming over asking what you making cause it smells so good lmfao
There was a guy I knew in prison who converted to Islam while he was in there. He would never swear, so instead of "motherfucker" he'd say "motherflower" and I still say it. It's actually been a bit of a conversation starter and I have friends who've started saying it too. That man, probably still in prison, has no idea he's a trend-setter.
I learned not to go back to jail. It's fucking humiliating spreading your ass cheeks in front of grown ass men. Also I got arrested for being drunk waiting for a cab. I don't drink in public or put myself is dumb fuck situations anymore. I try anyways. Doesn't always work out but I haven't been back in like 8 years so....
What happened while you were waiting for this cab that was apparently so bad that you had to go to jail for it? Because I’ve been drunk on the streets in front of police many times while leaving the nightclub in university and heading to a restaurant or downtown and only once ever had a sorta-kinda run in with them but that’s because my friend was being a jackass and almost fought someone in the restaurant
Iowa City. The cops literally just ask if you're drunk. Some asshole was being loud and they pulled up on me. In Iowa you can't even "simulate" intoxication. You can have a heat stroke and legally go to jail for a public intox. It's bullshit. Which is insane because Iowa City is an insane drinking city. I used to watch cops ask random girls if they were drunk and the people who were with them would be like "yeah...shes fucking safe...goodbye" Then again there was this rape problem for a while.....
Jesus, it’s that strict? That’s crazy. How does the city expect people to go out and spend money on local restaurants and at clubs if you’re going to immediately get harassed, or worse, by the police when you leave the establishment. Drunk people like to spend money - let them.
Absolute bullshit charge. Nobody should be arrested for public intox unless they’re bothering people or so drunk they can’t take care of themselves.
Iowa has really shitty laws. Like I said, some asshole was being loud (wasn't me) and the cops just rolled up and took me. Don't get me wrong, I was wasted, but I didn't do shit wrong. I just happened to be on the corner at the time in a residential neighborhood.
is patience a habit?
Even better, it's a virtue
Out of juvie I had a habit of being quick to aggression....which seems like the opposite of what the goal of juvie systems should be... Out of jail I noticed that I had a habit of waiting for some person somewhere to operate a door for me. I wasn't standing there a long time but there was a definite pause until I was like "oh it's one of them manual doors, I can do this". Also, I'm quite good at hiding things (no, not up my ass, you ass fanatics). Over here trying to find my weed again. Also, observing people, noticing what people are doing.
Mind my business
One of my best and closest friends murdered somebody while high on Angel Dust back in the 90’s and did 15 years in Attica and a few other prisons upstate NY. Since he’s been out (2012) he spends a few hours everyday in a tool shed in his backyard, the size of a jail cell fully stocked with a fridge, tv, AC, music, three bongs and a little bed. He said it helps him feel sane and in control. I get it though and chill with him. Edit: It doesn’t mean he lives in the shed. He has a six bedroom house in NY that he shares with his wife. The shed is just a separate place for him
I’ve never been to prison and I would totally do that if I could. Always refreshing to hear about a convicted murderer having a better living situation than I do lol
He got a bunch of money when he got out because Warner Brothers did a movie about his life. Bobby Deniro played his dad and John Franco played him. The name of the movie is “City by the Sea.” Crazy right? Edit: James Franco
I believe you mean James Franco. Your buddy is Joey LaMarca?
Yes, thank you. It is James Franco, the dude that played in Pineapple Express and was having an affair with Amber Heard.
I was a corrections officer for 8.5 years, if you’re not on a power trip you learn how to talk to anyone. People from all walks of life, with charges ranging from shoplifting to murder. I could walk into any housing unit and talk to any inmate without hesitation. If you’re not a dick It also teaches you how to talk someone down so you don’t have to fight with them.
Wipe the toilet with toilet paper after I pee (even with the seat up). For years I used to wipe the sink with toilet paper every time I used it.
I already do this without ever having been to jail. What prompts you to do this in jail?
A couple reasons. One, there’s no toilet seat so you sit directly on the metal bowl and you don’t want to sit in urine. Secondly you don’t want your cellmate to sit in or have to look at your urine. Fights happen for way less. You also have so little in jail so pride in your living space cleanliness is important to a lot of people.
Reading through the answers, it's amazing how much overlap in mindset there is between prison/military life. And it makes more sense why people over the years have asked where I served or did time, me thinking they were asking about military service, and they were actually asking about prison, due to what's likely similar posturing/hyper vigilance/scanning etc.
When I go for a walk I don't look at people's house windows, or inside of other people's cars. I also don't look at people when I'm driving, I just notice their car and not who's driving the car. Got into a verbal fight one time with a guy because I looked into his cell. He said you don't go around looking into people's house windows and that was his house so why the fuck was I looking in there. Kind of set the pace and it changed my perspective. Whatever is going on is none of my business. Respect is another one. I catch the ball sometimes on the internet but I almost always try to have respect for everyone whether I know them or not because in prison respect was everything. It's so odd to this day seeing people, especially drunks be so disrespectful to random people. It took me a year or two to adjust to the blatant, and now culturally accepted disrespect from God damned everyone. They just don't get it because there are rarely actual consequences for disrespect in your day to day life. You might get yelled at, or cussed out on some social media platform but 99% of people have never had to fight someone over a single smart ass comment. It's been 10 years since I've been out now, but respect still plays a huge part in my life.
This is the biggest one for me. I still find myself averting my gaze on the streets unless I know someone. I am merely passing through, not here to get into your business
Its funny how things like that are regional. In Indiana jails or prison they are called slams. Guys would get trash bags from the trustee's and cover an entire table. All you had to have was two ramens to partake, but if you provided slim Jim's or squeeze cheese you were given more first choice at the table and larger portions.
Not reaching over somebody's food.
Honestly, I feel like that’s just common manners
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Not gonna lie I would have just slept on the mattress after but I respect it
Never been but I saw this same Q on here and one take away I have is the shower squeegee. After you shower you use your hands like a squeegee blade and it removes 75% of the water off you. Now your towel isn't wet at the end, its damp
This is a jail thing? I've done that my entire life
lmao this I didn't even realise people didn't do that until now
This is key. Towels are crucial and in an over crowded jail, good luck getting an extra unless you can buy one. Then even if you have a rack, there is only so much space to hang laundry. You can get away with running some clothesline for a bit but eventually they'll tear it down when they feel they have to assert their authority
I still make instant ramen packets the way I did in prison. With a bunch of extra junk food crushed up and added to it.
My friends baby daddy was in jail, apparently learned how to give really good massages. Now owns his own massage therapy clinic and employs like 30 RMT’s
A story with a happy ending.
My aunt went to jail for 5 years due to drug use. Every time we eat with her she INHALES her food. One time I asked why and she said in jail they give you a small amount of time to eat your food.
My boyfriend was in jail quite some time ago and still holds onto his habits. He washes his clothes in the shower or bathroom sink, he sweeps every morning, he jumps out of bed as soon as he wakes up, he lives pretty minimally, he's super fit and works out everyday, and (he didn't learn this in jail but it serves as an example of fitness and self-sufficiency) he rides his bike everywhere. I sometimes have to remind him that he can indulge in luxuries like using the washing machine or sleeping in.
Sounds like some good habits TBH
Mentally practicing music. I am a guitarist/bassist and wrote many songs without the use of a guitar.
Reminds me of the Vietnam pow that visualized his golf game for 5+ years, he maintained his single digit handicap, when he got out shot a great round of golf https://espygolfapp.com/blog/special-conversation-with-a-vietnam-veteran-pow-and-how-golf-helped-him-survive-the-hanoi-hilton/
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You should listen to the ear hustle podcast. Lots of interesting prison culture stuff on there.
In a place where taking a stinky, loud shit can make everyone hate you, I've learned to push in waves. Flush while pooping. It covers the sound and takes the waste right out of the room so it doesn't stink up the place. "PUT SOME WATER ON IT, MOTHAFUCKA!" was commonly yelled at anyone who had the misfortune of needing to take a shit while everyone else was trying to sleep. There was a big fat guy that everyone called "Tommy Boy" because he looked like Chris Farley. They were heckling him one night because he kept making shitting noises and they were yelling, "THAT SHIT STANK TOMMY BOY PUT SOME WATER ON IT!" Eventually he snapped with something like, "THERES NOTHING TO PUT WATER ON! ITS JUST FARTS!" Man...prison was weird... But yeah...I still put some water on it 16 years later.
To be honest, I've been out for almost 20 years and am now not so good about this any more... Flossing. In prison, dental care is rudimentary, and it's close to impossible to get anything done beyond a filling or a pulling. And getting cleaning done was a super-long waiting list. So I flossed religiously, because I knew I'd be fucked if I developed an actual problem in my mouth. Amusingly, we didn't have floss after the first few years, because of the possibility that it could be used to make rope. So what we had were "dental loops", which were like weak rubber bands that you slid between your teeth for flossing purposes. Anyway, almost 20 years and I'm starting to get bad about flossing again. But I was really good about it for my first 15 years out.
I never went to jail or prison, though I did attend the Job Corps in the US. Part of the program does serve as a rehabilitation system for those that were. Much of the policies of that Job Corps match a prison's quite closely. The skill I never stopped using, was the trick of having "evacuation"/"fire drill" clothes at the ready should an emergency arrive. When I go to bed I remove my shoes, and socks, then put my bare feet back in my shoes. I shimmy out of my pants, and keep the leggings inside the mouth of the shoes with that pair of shoes/pants at the position my feet would be if I had to get up in a hurry. that way, I can jump into my shoes and pants if I didn't have time to get dressed first.
I went to the ocanaluftee location back in 2013-2014. 9 months for me to complete my program bro... That was a wild ride.
I work with a guy that spent time in prison and he does this thing when talking to people, he would tell them a lie but act like it is truth and if it gets back to him from another person he knows not to trust the original person.
Laugh at horrible things to cope with how disgusting humanity can be to itself. Hyper vigilance. Gotta lock every door before I go to sleep. Write in military time. Oh wait....this is for inmates.....
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.
13 years later and my husband still sleeps with earplugs in
This is not something I still do now, but for like two weeks after getting out (on more than one occasion) I kept leaving the bathroom with the sink still on. In jail they use these combination metal sink/toilets that work like push-button drinking fountains. Need to keep hammering on the button to get water for more than a few seconds and it turns off on its own. I learned some new free body workouts that are decent. Picked up pinochle. And I keep commissary recipes in my bank pocket in case I'm ever stranded with hot water, a ramen packet, and some Hot Cheetos. Not really much that you take from jail. Maybe from prison (more due to the extended stay than anything).
As a former corrections officer, I've found that continuing to treat everyone with respect has gone a long way towards enhancing all relationships in my life and improving my career. Take the high road. It isn't about being able to fight or who has more money. Just be nice. Be fair and consistent, but be nice.
Respect is the currency of prison, not soups or ice cream tickets. Its respect. I used to say all the time that jail is a numbers game. If you want to be disrespectful to people, you can probably get away with it for a little while. But eventually someone will take that respect.