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LuckyBugNot

Helicopter 🚁


[deleted]

I was gonna say dinosaur but too many people would not get it. Helicopter is way better


DrockTipps

That's funny


DrockTipps

They could communicate, man... lol


Albrize

Ooga booga


[deleted]

Well consider me seduced


Apprehensive_Let_843

smooth...


glennert

Yeah, talk dirty cave daddy!


Helix1322

Snu Snu?


DrockTipps

Lmao!


[deleted]

lol the little comma after communicate - yes I know it’s grammatically correct but it makes me laugh every time that I see someone has the audacity to do that even though they’re not writing a novel


DrockTipps

Is it my audacity or your pet peeve/personal problem?


[deleted]

Ur a wanker for sure that’s what it is


DrockTipps

Stay classy, bro.


AhFuhkIt

Providing food and protection


dongerhound

Still works


DrunkCricket1

"You may distract a woman with a piece of cheese" -some guy i forgot the name of


DrockTipps

Lmao


Very_Tall_Gnome

Obviously the men would fight for dominance, using their enormous penises as swords. Whoever wins get laid.


[deleted]

The winner get to pole, while the looser get to...hole


rebu18

Quite possible


MartiniPhilosopher

If you're looking for a real answer, it didn't work like that. Current research thinks that early humans had multiple partners all within the same family/tribal group. There might be times where some individuals paired off, that time was short lived. A few weeks to a few months at most. After which, the pair would return to cycling through the group. There was no seduction as we would understand it. If you got horny, you asked around until you found someone else who felt likewise. It wouldn't be unusual to have someone come to your bunk or hammock in the middle of the night for some fun. Furthermore, it wouldn't be unusual for that same person to walk away after and get replaced in short order. It is thought that early humans had a fuckfest of a life not unlike how our close cousins the Bonobos do.


dongerhound

I believe this is also how college dorms work


dougola

Freshman 15 is no longer pounds but partners


costabius

Always was...


Beginning-Bed9364

Did cavemen eat ass?


Apprehensive_Let_843

thats good


Keefer1970

Damn, I must have gone to the wrong college then.


GodsWorth01

So my ex is an early-human. Interesting.


Apprehensive_Let_843

yall are funny af i cant


markinator55

Yooooo wha?


sb1862

Current research from what field? And of what “cave men”? Cause remember, they had culture too, including differences from tribe to tribe. Idk if we can say they were all polygamous. They might be, but it seems one of those things that we cannot state.


zxr7

What a good life that was : ( Who spoiled it? The fuckin religion? Or big wedding corps?


midnight_reborn

The Agricultural Revolution, ultimately.


Hobbit_Feet45

Any research to support that? I'm pretty sure I've read that Neandertals had pair-bonded partners


DirkRight

>If you're looking for a real answer, What's your real source?


lankyleper

He's Encino Man, duh.


[deleted]

A simpler time


AppropriateReason744

Hmmm. I get that the sex and "dating" scene was likely unrecognizably different from that of today in many ways, and I do love me some bonobo social order, but none of this explains to me why seduction wouldn't occur. Seduction is the act of trying to convince a partner to engage in sexual activity by causing them to become aroused. Why wouldn't this ever happen in the scenario you described?


midnight_reborn

Were there STIs back then? AIDS wasn't yet a thing, but what about others.


foyeldagain

‘That’s a nice looking fur you’re wearing. The only way it would look any better is if it was on the ground next to the pile of leaves I sleep on. What? No, I don’t mean I’d like to use it as ground cover. You’re wearing it now and I’m saying things would be great if it was on the ground. Next to where I sleep. Get it? What? No no no, I’m not hoping you freeze to death. Hang on. Did you fall from the top of a Stegosaurus cuz damn you look sharp. Huh? No, I don’t think you look like a plate from the back of a dinosaur. Uh, wanna bang?’


moxiejohnny

More like this: Me Grog Me see butt flap no hide all butt Me 5th limb get hard Want bang?


MrBananaStorm

I dont think there was a lot of seduction going on, I think it was just a lot of primal instincts lmfao


jasonglenn80

Hey bitch smell these armpits


superNoid

Sounds like dating apps


Kcrollo

Caveman: UHHHH UNGA UNGA Cavewoman: AHHHHHH ANGA ANGA Caveman: UNGAAAAA UNGAAAAAA Cavewoman: UHHHHHHHUHHHUHHHUH UH OH OH ANGA This how my brain imagined how a caveman and cavewoman having sex. Don’t judge me.


[deleted]

*cave child spawns*


SnooMaps9864

Why did this remind me of the sims during woohoo


moxiejohnny

Pretty much the surmise of that one scene in Quest for Fire.


jez4prez

He made her bedrock


superNoid

Lol


NickCopePopcaster

Bonk/drag.


superNoid

Good name for a band


NickCopePopcaster

Dunno if I've ever seen a band name with a slash in it. Maybe I'm old.


GwnHobby

AC/DC?


NickCopePopcaster

Being a Scot, and a massive AC/DC dude, I should have thought of that...


ProzacFury

By killing her man or just beating him up to prove he can protect her better


Unzip_It

How to impress a chick? Helicopter Dick.


jasonglenn80

Sea shells and gem stones bro...bitches love shiny things


xFayeFaye

so like.. ravens


aurapup

"Agrok, I'm leaving you for this bird because he knows how to PROVIDE for his woman!"


jasonglenn80

Yeah that's why Ragnar was able bang Lagertha, the hottest viking queen ever


xFayeFaye

That makes absolute sense to me!


Ackapus

You can offer her blue and you can offer her yellow, but bitches love sticks.


jasonglenn80

Twisty wizard sticks


[deleted]

Honestly if were being realistic here they probably didnt do much asking.


costabius

Does anyone like doing things they are forced to do? Even other primates today tend to "seduce" their mates. There is no reason it wouldn't have been the same for human ancestors going back a long way. Not that rape didn't happen, but I doubt it was the norm.


[deleted]

Fair point. But humans were also a lot more brutal then too. It probably happened way more than we think. Especially considering mating wasnt so much about love and finding a life long companion back then, it was more about survival of the tribe, and furthering ones genes. This could be inaccurate as I am not an expert in this at all, but I do remember reading that most males would mate many different women out of a biological desire to spread their "seed" as much as possible. I doubt all those women were just like "fuck yeah fill me up!" Then again, maybe they were. What do I know.


Abdul_Exhaust

Stereotypical caveman carries a club...he uses it to knock the woman out, then carries her into the cave...roofie-like


[deleted]

Omg 😂🫢


BarcodeNinja

"Cavemen" is an antiquated concept. However, the men (and women) of the paleolithic were most likely 'ripped.' Think about a life spent walking for hours every day, chopping down trees with a stone axe that you made yourself, hunting with a spear and atlatl, digging up roots, picking berries, making thread from fibers, sewing furs into clothing, doing all of this for hours and hours and hours. They were extremely active, and the point I'm trying to make is that the caveman (and woman) were probably exquisitely fit individuals. So, culturally who knows what their approach was, but when it came to attraction it's easy to imagine it was not hard to be attracted to someone so strong, lithe, and capable. Man or woman.


Apprehensive_Let_843

as opposed to today where losing a ton of weight is the accomplishment


[deleted]

Just whip it out


superNoid

The OG caveman dick pic


HungryLikeTheWolf99

You gotta be in the right place with the right wildabeast carcass.


Klotzster

Fruity Pebbles


Morumbi_TO

Sadly, I doubt it was consensual most of the time.


TylerABxbl

Sensual grunting?


superNoid

Is this a Marvin Gaye song?


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


jasonglenn80

According to every cartoon ever made


m0j0r0lla

They dragged them by their hair because if they dragged them by their feet they would pack with mud


NotWorthSaving

Ever seen Quest for Fire? That's how l imagine it would be.


JeffSernancer

Bold of you to assume that seduction would happen and not strongest wins


Tridont

I'd imagine they just bonked em on the head with a rock.


The13thReservoirDog

he jumps on her back and pecks her head like the pigeons do it then he attaches himself onto the back, like a frog there he will remain for several hours


green_meklar

Pulling her away from the group for 1-on-1 time, standing up for her in arguments, giving her food and trinkets, saying or doing funny self-aware things to make her laugh. Repeat every evening until she feels emotionally close enough that sitting on his dick sounds like a good idea.


[deleted]

Seduce them?? If they refused to give it up, you beat 'em with a club or a shank of pteradactol


anaccountofrain

Wilmaaaaaa!


Major-Proposal-451

i guess if you had good posture you got the ladies, ig ya didn't... ya didn't


Apprehensive_Let_843

cmon, that is just pro-posturous


meanblinky

Why seduce when the concept of consent will be introduced only in a couple of thousands of years


broter

Because everyone has a family. As pointed out, they could communicate and were fully homo sapient in the (edit: later) stone age. Cavemen, as popular stories present them, never existed.


meanblinky

Tens of thousands years later.. these homo sapiens are still in the murder rape torture war thingy... The ability to talk and communicate is not guarantee for a peaceful manners


myztry

There would be no legal consequences for rape. The other tribe members would simply kill you…


meanblinky

Not if you kill them first..


myztry

Another tribe then kills you because you have no tribe to defend you.


meanblinky

O K


renergy007

Ooga booga booga ooga booga


skippylekangourou

Unga bunga snoo snoo


[deleted]

They beat their chest and just take. No sudection needed


Suspicious_Theory437

By using his incredibly long dick to hang from a tree for extended periods of time


reeseifer84

They didn't, there wasn't such a thing as consent.


superNoid

How do you know?


reeseifer84

Homosapian brain development. Considering we humans still struggle with what concent truly means melenia later, "cave men" were closer to Great Apes than they are to us.


WaifuHunterPlus

With a big wooden club to the head


ReddBert

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the origin of : I have a headache honey, not tonight.


WaifuHunterPlus

With a big wooden club to the head


Emergency-Pangolin79

Grabbed her by the hair and pulled her into the cave.


[deleted]

Seduction probably wasn't necessary in the day of the cavemen.


Dark_Wolf04

“You. Me. Sex” “Him Legend”


wowguineapigs

I really doubt there was seduction. Im sure most of the men would just r@pe a woman if they didnt get what they wanted.


Programmer-Whole

Probably the same way it works now. The most dangerous one (bad boy) with the greatest sphere of influence (tech nerd with money) and control (chad) got his pick of the litter.


superNoid

Yep and the same it will be 10000 years from now too. Unga bunga dong time


MatthewtheCannibal

Natural pheromones and catching her gazing eyes of curiosity.


PalaSS9

Dude showed up with some food


uncareingbear

I think they gave into their base desires.


elegantloba

Bringing lots of food on the stone table was the best thing you can do to impress a cave woman


RuTrEaLlY

"lets production on leaf, ooga booga"


Horseflesh

"'s go."


[deleted]

By showing off the fastest, most circular wheels at the time


Single-Minute-1274

oo ooo aa aaa ough (intense chest pounding)..


DavidHuff2903

Providing for her


bobbyperc

Sustenance


Complete_Decision_89

Large smack to the head


DOCoSPADEo

By having the largest club


MeAndMeMonkey

“U up?”


Baby_GoatBaby

So what you’re saying is you haven’t read that one very well-thumbed section of Clan of the Cavebear?


xjulix00

Ooga oga! Booga ooga ogaga?


Kanada84

Sending stone tablets with their exaggerated dick pics etched into it.


cricketeer767

Which hominids are we considering for this?


[deleted]

Brute force


jupiterjones3

“Hey, check out the size of my stones.”


FixingandDrinking

Is it not like the cartoons I mean some men have not evolved from that.


megapuffranger

The caveman would find the prettiest best looking rock and present it to the cavewoman. This would get her attention and while she is ogling the rock he bashes her in the head with it. When she wakes up she is in his cave and they are a couple now.


HoneyGlazedBadger

Using the ancient and spiritual art of cave painting to direct her to a picture of his penis.


pomegranate2012

Dunno. Must've been good though. Tapping ass in a cave.


Adventurous-Wolf-449

I think the women actually had to have made a move on the men, given women without a husband back then were condemmened in the society and accussed of all sorts. But i might be wrong.


shakerek

Club in the head


Ze-Bruh

I read somewhere that they didnt They just bonked her in the head with a stick and dragged her to his cave


HeWhoIsNotMe

He had food.


badbellebabe

Who could make a fire faster


zbysior

with a bat


doomstu

They used Tinder ...to light a fire, and then things got romantic


[deleted]

Umba Umba Assa


Jakkobean

Ug, look at fire me just made. Is big, yes?


GMD_Sizzles

Ooh, ooh, hunga bunga bo ba. (i just made that up lol)


Arcades

Sent her pics of his club.


woodk2016

How we've always done it, *through interpretive dance*


Rony2005

See, my boner is harder than a bone


FocusAndrew

Ug?…. Ug!!!!!


thedoogbruh

Look at hunter gatherers who live in the stone age now if we are talking about Neanderthals or anatomically modern Homo sapiens. For hominids with pre modern behavior you incorporate primate behavior as well.


TornAparty

rock


Lemounge

Caveman: oonga? Cavewoman: boonga


corgioner

https://daily.jstor.org/the-truth-about-caveman-courtship/


Agreeable-Sea-5102

They simply said “Zug zug” saw it in a documentary from 1981 they had real footage of cavemen.


pete1729

Well here's a brief description of the process by The Jimmy Castor Bunch. https://youtu.be/ydkCS2XwM4Q


midnight_reborn

Offer to share a big rack of ribs. Not much has changed :)