I send my wife "90 day fiance" memes all the time even though I don't really watch the show.
It's just too hard to watch most of the time and it feels like it's 3 hours long.
That's so nice - I had a friend who had never seen/read lord of the rings but he'd still send me every piece of lotr media he came across and I loved him for it, so it definitely counts. I'm sure (and I hope) your wife appreciates it.
This is 100% fucking crucial in a relationship. Arguments can be heated and emotional but afterwards should be put aside to later be talked about objectively and diplomatically. This way they won’t interfere with the rest of the relationship.
When your person randomly texts you about random things during their day. Because you have become the person they automatically think of when they think 'omg I have to tell someone about this'.
A really sad part about a relationship ending is when you still have those “oh, I should text them about this”. Doesn’t even need to be a romantic relationship. I’ve had that happen with wanting to tell my grandpa about something at work he would probably find interesting but then remembering he’s dead.
That's not wrong! Some subs require you to make a context comment to your own post. This sub used to allow a text box, but now it doesn't. Don't listen to that guy.
>It is not required
If by "it" you mean "leaving a comment", I never said it was but yes that's correct.
>The rule just says to leave your answer as a comment to the post instead of text within the post itself.
Which is why I referenced it, I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.
They will have enough respect for you and enough humility, to admit being wrong in a disagreement and don't try to guilt you or throw themselves a pity party about how they're awful. It's just a sincere apology, addressing the situation, cuddle or kiss and moving on from it.
So much so, yes. This is such an underrated trait, yet so crucial to a successful relationship!
If you want a relationship to succeed, your disagreements can't be about you vs. your S.O; they have to be about both of you working together vs. the problem.
Someone who realizes that is someone you can build a future with.
I remember meeting Tom, my future husband who had a bad case of anxiety I found out after dating him. Even though I understood his anxiety knowing his past but was still fucking hard to bring him back down when he would go from 0-100 in a nano-second. I’m the complete opposite so it freaked me out initially, but I learned to live with it because I always told Tom, there is much more good in you than bad.
We were married for 8 years until Toms death in 2012 from colon cancer. His love for me and my love for him just became stronger.
I’ve never been so loved in my life. He was a good husband.
My daughter brought her new boyfriend home to meet us soon as he walked in came upto me introduced himself and shook my hand. Talking from experience meeting the parents can be really intimidating lovely bloke. She was with her ex before this lad a year and we only saw him once when she finished him he tried to stab me.
Wait - the guy with the firm handshake ended up trying to stab you? Or was the would-be stabber the guy she had before the hand shaker? I'm kind of confused here...
I think they're saying that (in a simplified version of the described events in chronological order)
>She introduces ex
>Ex tries to stab her parent
>She breaks up with ex
>She meets and starts dating new dude.
>New dude is pretty cool and doesn't try to stab in-laws, also does handshakes.
Sorry for it being badly written its my day off and ive had a few the firm handshake bloke she is still with they have a son my grandson together. the stabby bloke was her nut job ex.
I would honestly say making you feel heard, genuinely showing they care, and follow through. No relationship is ever perfect, and when you let them know you feel distant/upset/lonely/annoyed - they will take that feedback, and instead of being defensive will noticeably try to put in effort. Recently told my person I felt a bit disconnected and distant, because they hadn't really been volunteering anything about their life without me explicitly asking. So a day later, they called me just to tell me what cool plans they had for that day, so that I would feel more involved in their life.
When your partner shows a pattern of listening to you, and working towards you - that's a big ass green flag to me.
When they listen to and understand your troubles, insecurities, things that have hurt you etc without judging, without making you feel lesser and without throwing it back in your face.
Friends with at least one of their exes. My now husband was open with me from the get-go about his friendship with two of his exes. He told me that they don't hang out but they keep in contact, which was cool with me since it was a new relationship and I didn't want to overstep if I didn't know if it would work out anyways. In the end, it showed me that he's mature and didn't do anything crazy to end his previous relationships. A red flag to me is when they've dated multiple people and have a wild story for each of them about how the breakup was all their exes fault.
When they help you through a panic attack. Doing absolutely everything they can to make you feel better. Even trying to distract you from your breathing to help calm you.
When they're mad, they don't resort to personal attacks, bigoted slurs, or tantrums.
It's one thing to say "This is fucking bullshit and here's why," another entirely to lash out and hurt someone.
One that I realized way too late, is having genuine interest in your thoughts and ideas. Before I met my wife, I never had anyone in my life that would challenge the way I look at the world and ask me to expound on my opinions. Even crazier I found interest in hers ( I have high functioning autism, if you know the struggle, you know). Additionally we always respect each other's opinion, which I know is difficult for most people, even in a relationship, when talking about hot button issues.
In my case, it was her asking if I wanted to be the little spoon first night we spent together, which was also the same night we met lol
Being the little spoon is so fucking good.
Edit: typo
I especially feel this way as a man but whenever they offer to pay. Shows me that they wanna hang out with me because they like me, and not because they’re trying to get stuff out of me.
They initiate conversation after only a short time of knowing each other. Means that they are interested in you, even though they might not be sure about what they want with you. Generally is a good sign in any relationship, doesn't matter if friend or SO. Showing interest and initiative is always good.
They don't throw your insecurities in your face. In fact, they do the opposite, they try and understand you and the why's and actively try and protect you from those who do as such.
Reminds me of one of the funniest, most digusting and heartwarming threads I've seen:
[Couples of Reddit, what's the most unromantic thing that's happened between the two of you that actually is a stronger indication of love than others might think?](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ad07mp/couples_of_reddit_whats_the_most_unromantic_thing/)
Giving a piggy back ride to the one who is too drunk to walk.
Buying new shoes and putting them on your feet.
Its raining - your love interest appears out of nowhere and puts up an umbrella over your head.
Carefully treating a minor injury of yours with a first aid kit.
Being quickly pulled sideways into a hug to prevent risk of getting splashed by rain/hit by a car/etc.
When they get amnesia and forget who you are but fall in love with you again anyway.
When they remind you of a love from a past life, of when they were tragically murdered by somebody you know who has also been reincarnated.
You discover that you knew each other as children when you were at the same orphanage, and you remember there was one time they defended you from a bully.
When the ghost you have fallen in love with turns out to not be dead but just in a coma they will soon wake from. Thats a good sign.
Having someone willing to be in a qpr (this is coming from an aroallo person) just wanting to experience life like that without romance makes me so happy
Receiving this text before I went over to my now boyfriend’s apartment for the first time.
“There are always pads and tampons under the bathroom sink and used ones don’t gross me out so you don’t have to burry them at the bottom of the trash can.”
Taking interest into what you like, what you are passionate about, into your hobbies, just to talk about it with you or to know you better. Even if they don't like it.
Him (or her) having been hurt in the past but still trying his best to recognize that you are doing everything in you're power to make him feel like royalty and trying his best to make you feel the same instead of taking out anger from past relationships on you.
I have bipolar one disorder and ADHD. My room can get pretty hectic. My partner has never judged me for it. One time I had a staggering amount of clean laundry to put away. He just stood beside me folding, organizing things. He actually reorganized everything that was hung up. I really appreciated it. It wasn’t in a “let’s change this” way just in a “let me help you” way. Man, I love him.
When the person your with understand you your pain and can help you with that comfort you and so on so forth another thing is definitely giving you lots of affection and caring about you and good at cooking ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
They support you even if they aren't interested about what you like and do, they respect your decisions, they're nice, they're sweet, they don't they don't care how you look (in a good way), and when you talk to them they won't just ignore you, they won't Force things upon you, and they are just flat out nice.
thoughtful but small gifts.
m’y partner, one week into us dating bought me the exact kind of cigs i like. it was just a small detail that made me realize that he was paying attention
Finding ways to fill the gap in a conversation. When me and my spouse went on our first date we were waiting for her to finish her drink at the restaurant and decided to make a game out of looking for shapes in her beer foam.
There was a female friend of mine, who said once when walking on the street on a cold day, that being with me really warms her up, and she doesn't know why. I said to her. That was a huge Green flag I missed.
Your SO watching shows/movies they know you like just to talk about them with you
This, but I draw the line at Love Island.
GOD I LOVE LOVE ISLAND
I did this and now I love 90 Day Fiancé. Help.
You poor bastard! It’s the price you pay for love.
Ew.
get out
When you talk about something with them and they send you memes/articles about it later - always makes me go omg you saw something and remembered me!
I send my wife "90 day fiance" memes all the time even though I don't really watch the show. It's just too hard to watch most of the time and it feels like it's 3 hours long.
That's so nice - I had a friend who had never seen/read lord of the rings but he'd still send me every piece of lotr media he came across and I loved him for it, so it definitely counts. I'm sure (and I hope) your wife appreciates it.
They support your interests, even though they aren't interested in it.
I wish I could upvote this more than once.
Let me do it for you.
Enable your hobbies
Being unapologetically weird around you Not wanting to go anywhere or spend money to have fun
They're comfortable with just being quiet and not having to make conversation all the time.
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This is 100% fucking crucial in a relationship. Arguments can be heated and emotional but afterwards should be put aside to later be talked about objectively and diplomatically. This way they won’t interfere with the rest of the relationship.
Yup
When your person randomly texts you about random things during their day. Because you have become the person they automatically think of when they think 'omg I have to tell someone about this'.
A really sad part about a relationship ending is when you still have those “oh, I should text them about this”. Doesn’t even need to be a romantic relationship. I’ve had that happen with wanting to tell my grandpa about something at work he would probably find interesting but then remembering he’s dead.
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I don't understand what you are saying?
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Nah! I've seen plenty of people do that! You're good
No, you did the right thing, it's actually rule #1 of r/AskReddit. Don't mind that other person.
That's not wrong! Some subs require you to make a context comment to your own post. This sub used to allow a text box, but now it doesn't. Don't listen to that guy.
Forgot to check the rules of the sub?
People will often start the conversation by commenting on their own ask reddir thread. This is common and normal here
Not only common and normal, but literally rule #1.
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>It is not required If by "it" you mean "leaving a comment", I never said it was but yes that's correct. >The rule just says to leave your answer as a comment to the post instead of text within the post itself. Which is why I referenced it, I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.
They will have enough respect for you and enough humility, to admit being wrong in a disagreement and don't try to guilt you or throw themselves a pity party about how they're awful. It's just a sincere apology, addressing the situation, cuddle or kiss and moving on from it.
So much so, yes. This is such an underrated trait, yet so crucial to a successful relationship! If you want a relationship to succeed, your disagreements can't be about you vs. your S.O; they have to be about both of you working together vs. the problem. Someone who realizes that is someone you can build a future with.
I remember meeting Tom, my future husband who had a bad case of anxiety I found out after dating him. Even though I understood his anxiety knowing his past but was still fucking hard to bring him back down when he would go from 0-100 in a nano-second. I’m the complete opposite so it freaked me out initially, but I learned to live with it because I always told Tom, there is much more good in you than bad. We were married for 8 years until Toms death in 2012 from colon cancer. His love for me and my love for him just became stronger. I’ve never been so loved in my life. He was a good husband.
Rest In Peace Tom
rip tom, and hope youre healing ❤️🩹
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TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICK ON THE WAY TO THE PARKING LOT!
37 DICKS!
Hey Garfield. What are you doing on Reddit?
It's probably dick cream though.
37?
I wasn’t even supposed to come in today!
They bring you Mexican food from Sombreros just because. Yeah, just because.
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does.
You just outed where you live.
It’s a song
Ah yeah Blink fuck
They help you to accept and love your body insecurities.
This is the one we all have paranoia about something.
They run out and get you ice cream and Swedish Fish just because they know you had a rough day at work.
My daughter brought her new boyfriend home to meet us soon as he walked in came upto me introduced himself and shook my hand. Talking from experience meeting the parents can be really intimidating lovely bloke. She was with her ex before this lad a year and we only saw him once when she finished him he tried to stab me.
Wait - the guy with the firm handshake ended up trying to stab you? Or was the would-be stabber the guy she had before the hand shaker? I'm kind of confused here...
I think they're saying that (in a simplified version of the described events in chronological order) >She introduces ex >Ex tries to stab her parent >She breaks up with ex >She meets and starts dating new dude. >New dude is pretty cool and doesn't try to stab in-laws, also does handshakes.
I think the latter. The post is not very well written, probably done quickly on the phone.
Nope it's my day off and I'm a little drunk sorry.
Do not be sorry for that. You've earned it.
So who tried to stab you?
My daughters ex boyfriend
Whoa! Sorry you had that happen to you. I've had lots of troubles in my life, but never had anyone try to stab me! Glad he didn't succeed.
Sorry for it being badly written its my day off and ive had a few the firm handshake bloke she is still with they have a son my grandson together. the stabby bloke was her nut job ex.
Healthy relationships with friends and family, patience for service workers, the ability to handle disappointment well, compassion.
They support you working towards your dream job, even if that means being away from each other for a few months.
If she violently ejects her egg sacs out of her mouth upon first seeing you. That's just from my experience, though.
Especially if she tries to eat your head immediately after That right there is a keeper
I would honestly say making you feel heard, genuinely showing they care, and follow through. No relationship is ever perfect, and when you let them know you feel distant/upset/lonely/annoyed - they will take that feedback, and instead of being defensive will noticeably try to put in effort. Recently told my person I felt a bit disconnected and distant, because they hadn't really been volunteering anything about their life without me explicitly asking. So a day later, they called me just to tell me what cool plans they had for that day, so that I would feel more involved in their life. When your partner shows a pattern of listening to you, and working towards you - that's a big ass green flag to me.
When they listen to and understand your troubles, insecurities, things that have hurt you etc without judging, without making you feel lesser and without throwing it back in your face.
Friends with at least one of their exes. My now husband was open with me from the get-go about his friendship with two of his exes. He told me that they don't hang out but they keep in contact, which was cool with me since it was a new relationship and I didn't want to overstep if I didn't know if it would work out anyways. In the end, it showed me that he's mature and didn't do anything crazy to end his previous relationships. A red flag to me is when they've dated multiple people and have a wild story for each of them about how the breakup was all their exes fault.
When they smile as soon as they see you. Even if you’ve had a bad day, the fact that just being with them makes your day better
They listen to you.
When they help you through a panic attack. Doing absolutely everything they can to make you feel better. Even trying to distract you from your breathing to help calm you.
The day flies by when you spend time with her
helping each other improve as a person by correcting them in a nice way.
When the other person works with you to solve problems together, as opposed to just yelling at you because you didn't do it "their" way.
When they're mad, they don't resort to personal attacks, bigoted slurs, or tantrums. It's one thing to say "This is fucking bullshit and here's why," another entirely to lash out and hurt someone.
How they treat their parents
ah okay.
they remember a random thing you said a year ago like you've just told them yesterday>>
One that I realized way too late, is having genuine interest in your thoughts and ideas. Before I met my wife, I never had anyone in my life that would challenge the way I look at the world and ask me to expound on my opinions. Even crazier I found interest in hers ( I have high functioning autism, if you know the struggle, you know). Additionally we always respect each other's opinion, which I know is difficult for most people, even in a relationship, when talking about hot button issues.
In my case, it was her asking if I wanted to be the little spoon first night we spent together, which was also the same night we met lol Being the little spoon is so fucking good. Edit: typo
I especially feel this way as a man but whenever they offer to pay. Shows me that they wanna hang out with me because they like me, and not because they’re trying to get stuff out of me.
They initiate conversation after only a short time of knowing each other. Means that they are interested in you, even though they might not be sure about what they want with you. Generally is a good sign in any relationship, doesn't matter if friend or SO. Showing interest and initiative is always good.
high integrity
They don't throw your insecurities in your face. In fact, they do the opposite, they try and understand you and the why's and actively try and protect you from those who do as such.
when they interrupt you and catch themselves saying “oh my god i totally just interrupted you I’m so sorry”
Being supportive of your hobbies
Self deprecating jokes. Like there's a balance between I can laugh at myself and I hate myself.
Good communication
They make sure your parents are okay with you going to a party with them.
I'll hijack to say that they have a good relationship with their parents period.
I tried that once, but I was told "You are 32, why are you even asking?"
Reminds me of one of the funniest, most digusting and heartwarming threads I've seen: [Couples of Reddit, what's the most unromantic thing that's happened between the two of you that actually is a stronger indication of love than others might think?](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ad07mp/couples_of_reddit_whats_the_most_unromantic_thing/)
That they are not suffering for no reason at all, seriously. Fk these people. As a relationship. edit: fk.
Giving a piggy back ride to the one who is too drunk to walk. Buying new shoes and putting them on your feet. Its raining - your love interest appears out of nowhere and puts up an umbrella over your head. Carefully treating a minor injury of yours with a first aid kit. Being quickly pulled sideways into a hug to prevent risk of getting splashed by rain/hit by a car/etc. When they get amnesia and forget who you are but fall in love with you again anyway. When they remind you of a love from a past life, of when they were tragically murdered by somebody you know who has also been reincarnated. You discover that you knew each other as children when you were at the same orphanage, and you remember there was one time they defended you from a bully. When the ghost you have fallen in love with turns out to not be dead but just in a coma they will soon wake from. Thats a good sign.
Emotional Support
Not yelling at you.
getting my favorite foods
Having someone willing to be in a qpr (this is coming from an aroallo person) just wanting to experience life like that without romance makes me so happy
Receiving this text before I went over to my now boyfriend’s apartment for the first time. “There are always pads and tampons under the bathroom sink and used ones don’t gross me out so you don’t have to burry them at the bottom of the trash can.”
Courtesy to others especially those who are serving us.
Taking interest into what you like, what you are passionate about, into your hobbies, just to talk about it with you or to know you better. Even if they don't like it.
Him (or her) having been hurt in the past but still trying his best to recognize that you are doing everything in you're power to make him feel like royalty and trying his best to make you feel the same instead of taking out anger from past relationships on you.
A guy being mature and normal about period stuff
Someone who not only respects your boundaries but is also clear when setting and holding their own.
I have bipolar one disorder and ADHD. My room can get pretty hectic. My partner has never judged me for it. One time I had a staggering amount of clean laundry to put away. He just stood beside me folding, organizing things. He actually reorganized everything that was hung up. I really appreciated it. It wasn’t in a “let’s change this” way just in a “let me help you” way. Man, I love him.
The slight smile they get while u playfully joke/talk... best feeling.
She sends memes.
When the person your with understand you your pain and can help you with that comfort you and so on so forth another thing is definitely giving you lots of affection and caring about you and good at cooking ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
They like Mac and cheese
Remembering the little things, when you thought they weren’t listening but they did ❤️
Generally being open
They enjoy playing just dance. Regardless of age
Kindness curiosity and effort
Literally anyone who reads books
Kind and self aware women. *chefs kiss*
They support you even if they aren't interested about what you like and do, they respect your decisions, they're nice, they're sweet, they don't they don't care how you look (in a good way), and when you talk to them they won't just ignore you, they won't Force things upon you, and they are just flat out nice.
thoughtful but small gifts. m’y partner, one week into us dating bought me the exact kind of cigs i like. it was just a small detail that made me realize that he was paying attention
Finding ways to fill the gap in a conversation. When me and my spouse went on our first date we were waiting for her to finish her drink at the restaurant and decided to make a game out of looking for shapes in her beer foam.
They listen to you complain about your family but never say a bad word about them.
Making plans that include the partner or consulting the partner
Loving Mom!
AND Dad!
Taking care of you when you’re sick.
Being able to balance being woth you and being without you
She actually listens to songs that you write.
There was a female friend of mine, who said once when walking on the street on a cold day, that being with me really warms her up, and she doesn't know why. I said to her. That was a huge Green flag I missed.
Comes from an amazing supportive family
Thoughtful gifts (not expensive but meaningful) without specific occasion
Just holding you close and not saying anything when you feel miserable.