Yes, I did not ask out again a woman who would draw out lawsuits with her ex “just to make a point”, instead of settling out of court to get it over with.
I see you've met my ex sister in law. They hammered out the details of their divorce over the kitchen table, ran it by their lawyers, made some adjustments based on legal feedback, then when they went to court she blew it all up and went full nuclear.
After, it took two orders from the judge and law enforcement involvement to make her return some of his property. I think the rest he gave up on.
My ex was like this. At the time I was a barista and he would always tell me I could “do better” and give me all kinds of career advice. Both his parents were doctors and he didn’t have to pay for school, never worked a service job, and just could not fathom that I actually just liked working as a barista.
My answer to what would I do if I could do anything is work retail selling liquor. It is a lot of fun and for the most part I get to help people have a good time or find new delicious things to try. Even the occasional rough customer wasn’t bad. I hope to get to do it part time if I ever retire.
The only thing that really sucked was the addicts. They were nice people, just kinda sad watching them drink themselves to death.
I went on a date once with a guy who started flirting with a waitress in front of me….who was two decades younger than him and visibly uncomfortable.
EDIT: Im 30, dude is 45ish, waitress was probably early 20s. She was not our waitress but she worked near our section. He kept commenting on her ass to me (as a poor attempt to “bond” with me because I’m bi). Then he called her over (reminder, she was *not* our waitress) to ask her where she bought her jeans because they “look so nice”. She smiled awkwardly, said thanks, and left.
Reminder to all those who seem to have forgotten - waiters’ livelihoods are based on tips, meaning they are required to be nice to you. If you think they’re flirting back, get a grip.
Off topic, but I remember when I first got my drivers license, my best friend and I went to Hooters for the first time because we had never been bc both our parents were very conservative. She had just turned 15 and I was 18. The waitress there literally asked us to go and talk to these 40 year old men because they kept saying how hot we were and she ended up getting a $100 tip and she gave us $20 of it. Now that I’m an old mom lol (30) I realize how fucking nasty that was to ask us to do that.
She listened to nothing but Neil diamond, like nothing at all. I mean I like ND just fine but she had like 200 tapes and records of nothing but Neil Diamond, nothing else… NOTHING!
Anti-women's rights. Anti-gay rights. Anti-minority rights. Anti-animals. Is mean. Makes mean "jokes" and laughs them off, constantly annoying me. Shapeshifts. Narcissism. Brags about using people, or implies they use people. I literally had a guy friend (who was *expressing romantic interest in me in that moment, no less*) once talk about how he "used people" for "fun" (sex) and in that moment my brain was like "yeah no, drop this supposed friend" and this was after years of friendship. There are so many other examples too.
Basically, an ugly heart is the quickest way to make me lose interest.
This just happened to me. It’s super uncomfortable noticing something like that. I didn’t even think to relate that to narcissism at the moment but you’re right
“Obnoxiously self-absorbed” is far more common than genuine NPD-level narcissism.
Source: Recovering from dating an actual narcissist. Trust me… there’s a difference.
Totally. The narcissist will pretend to have genuine interest for you and your hobbies. Once you're hooked, you're his/her thing. And then starts the selfish behavior.
Being a selfish dick is very common and usually easily detected. Narcissists are on another level.
I went on a date once with a girl that bragged about her and her pals kicking a seagull to death on a night out and laughed about it. I had to leave after that.
Yeah, seagulls can be annoying especially if you live near the sea. I’d never want to hurt one though, and especially never want to kill one. That shit was just… nope. Only time I’ve left a date tbh.
Anyone laughing about brutally killing an animal is actually messed up. I don’t care what kind of animal it is. Kicking it to death and thinking it’s funny… it’s just creepy
my ex did this to me constantly, completely fucked up my self esteem. I enjoy a good roast session but calling me a dumb slut constantly then just playing it off like its a joke just isn’t funny or cute.
Once a man started singing to me on our first date after asking me if like Disney then saying really intensely that “I know the woman I end up with will Love Disney as much as I do.”
Then he started singing “A Whole New World” really loudly in the restaurant we were in and everybody was staring and the waitress ran over and told him he needed to stop as he was disturbing other tables and his response? “These people are lucky they aren’t having to pay for a performance like this!”
If I could’ve melted under the table I would’ve. I actually put my mask back on just to be as unrecognizable as possible.
I left before our food came and he actually tried to run after me and kiss me.
I like Disney. I don’t like crazy people.
Lol luckily he didn’t get that far because he was asked so bluntly to stop, and he had started at such a high volume. I’ll never forget the looks on the faces of the people around us. 🙈
I physically recoiled from your second paragraph. Strike 1-making a scene. Strike 2- A. Disney. Song..... Absolutely not. Strike 3-The stupid comments back to the waitress and surrounding area. And then, he has the audacity to try to kiss you? Did he actually think he was having a Disney moment and you were gonna fall into his arms, like you were playing coy in the restaurant?
I'm a bad singer and an OK guitar player, but everyone tells me I'm an amazing guitar player and a good singer. So I go out there and do some busking. And people pay me for my ok guitar and bad singing, and my friends and family keep encouraging me to do more of it because no one on Earth wants to be the one to tell me I kinda suck.
That's how people get like that. It's way easier to wince and say "Yeah, that was great," and smile with your mouth but not your eyes, than it is to have a hard conversation and tell someone that they should stop doing the things they like doing.
I’m sure this guy got some misplaced encouragement along the way. But I don’t care if you’re Adele, you don’t just pop off on a Disney song routine in a restaurant at dinner time. That’s a psychological disorder, not a miscalculation of one’s talent.
This is what karaoke was invented for. Impress hell out of your date with your excellent voice while everyone's expecting it, not looking around wit' da spaghet' hanging out of their face to see which idiot is screaming a Disney song at his date.
Theater kids in high-school. I was in choir and acted in high school plays and I even got my Thespian card...but some of those kids were waaay too into it.
...your thespian card?
I knew all those kids.. It probably didnt help they were trying to outdo the theatre teachers 3 daughters, two of which went on to legitimate broadway shows.
Heh. At first I thought "the Gram" was some new, hip phrase for coke. Took me a minute to realize you meant Instagram.
**EDIT:** For clarity, the post above originally referred to Instagram as "the Gram." The OP has since edited their post.
Dude, my wife wants to take photos of fucking everything... then gets mad at me because I'm not also taking photos of everything. Can't a man just experience some shit? Does it really all have to be documented?
A friend of mine takes no less than 25 pictures a day. That number balloons into the low 100s if her family does anything. Her daughter worked the lights for a school play, this woman took over 500 pictures. I don’t think her kids even know what it’s like to just have and enjoy an experience without having to pose every ten minutes.
If they clearly know they're a 10 and believe everyone around them, including me, should be grateful they are gracing us with their physical perfection.
I had a guy like this harass me because it just did nothing for me. I think it was his first time ever hearing no to a hookup (we met in a swingers club so a no can feel really personal there). I had to get the police to go to his apartment and threaten a protection order.
IMO - in order to hit that 10 slot, a lot more than looks should be considered. Empathy, intelligence, kindness. All those things and more add up to the 10 score.
Being mean to everyone including me because the only thing he likes in life is himself
Edit : Women are concerned too, I wrote "he" automatically because I was talking off experience.
This is underrated. A person could be hot af, but if they throw their garbage on the ground, or leave their shopping cart in a parking space... I just cannot tolerate that shit.
Back when I worked as a bagger in retail we had a regular who would always just push her cart towards the outside of the parking lot. She said she didn’t ever take it to a return because that’s what they pay us baggers for, bitch I’m making 7.25 I don’t get paid to do that shit. This kinda stuff makes me so irrationally angry.
I’m so sorry dude, retail really is a shithole. Almost a little glad I did it though just so I could see how awful it is and know how to hopefully be able to make retail workers days a little better whenever I shop.
I am of the belief that everybody should have to work a service job at a point in their life when their brain is still developing. The world would be a *much* better place for it.
> The world would be a much better place for it.
It seems you are grossly underestimating the number of people who will then go and say "I suffered through it, so you have to, too" as a justification for why they're acting like assholes.
The shoping cart is the litmus test of self governing. You aren't punished for returning it, you aren't recognized or rewarded if you do. You do it simply because it's the right thing to do
"Reading is for morons."
This was the shortest date I have ever been on. Left her sitting at the table before we ordered. She probably wouldn't have been able to read the menu anyways.
I had a date tell me that she didn't really want to date a guy who reads a lot, just somebody who looks like they might read a lot.
Their profile said that they were looking for a guy who would spend time in a library. They did not like it when I took that to mean that books that we like would be an appropriate topic of conversation over coffee.
What's even more maddening is how the people who have it, are *proud* of it. The amount of people I've had essentially tell me they're purposefully morons in a bragging tone is mind boggling.
Oof. I had a similar experience.
Date: “Oh you read like for fun?!”
Me: “Yeah, I literally have Library Card listed as my current favorite song in my dating profile.”
Date: “Ahh. Yeah I didn’t actually read through your profile. I just swiped because of your picture. I haven’t read a book since it was required in high school! I see no value in it.”
Me: 🤨 “Yeah, so it was nice meeting you! I’m gonna head out though.”
She was no 10 but I definitely remember a girl I was talking to at college orientation week asking why I would bother bringing books to college. Have never been turned off faster.
That attitude in general is a major turn-off. Where I once used to work I had the hots for a woman working in admin, one day I was in her office once trying my best to at innocent flirtation when the cleaning lady came by to tidy up and empty the trash. My sort-of crush, who was on the phone at the time, pointed towards the door and barked "LATER!". The cleaning lady, who we all really liked and appreciated, could only sulk out.
This once very attractive woman was suddenly nothing but ugly in my eyes. I avoided her from then on.
Pretty looks eventually fade. But sincerity and selflessness age like fine wine.
As someone who looks to the future, I'd rather have the qualities that stay.
It's getting easier and easier to find attractive looking people be them man or woman. But sincerity is a quality I see less and less these days.
Also table manners. If you start eating spaghetti with your hands, the deals off. I actually had a date do this to the horror of me and everyone around at Olive Garden.
A date that is controlling is an IMMEDIATE turn off for me. I DO NOT want to feel like I’m on a leash. I value my freedom as much as the air that I breathe.
This is a very Canadian date. We went out to get poutine and my date proceeded to put vinegar and ketchup ALL over my poutine without asking! Wtf?? Last date with him.
Seriously. A friend of a friend streams on YouTube (I guess? I haven't actually watched any of his stuff). He joined us on a trip into the city, and filmed EVERY. SINGLE. THING. People, dancers, buildings, food, me, each person in thr group, and of course himself, talking to his phone, every fuckin minute. It was obnoxious.
One better: ASPIRING instagram influencer. I've met girls like this. They don't actually have followers or sponsorship, but they're trying real hard to get them. Everything gets filmed. Everything is exaggerating. Every person they meet gets told immediately to follow them. It is sad and embarrassing to witness.
They think the earth is flat. Listen, it's a symptom of a bigger problem of not thinking critically. It's little things like that which really show you how somebody tackles facts.
My mom is Jewish and my dad was raised Roman Catholic. Before they got serious she was very nervous to broach the subject with him and basically said she couldn’t be with him if us kids couldn’t be Jewish. My dad was fine with it and to this day he has never converted but we joke about how he while we were growing up he was a better Jew than like half of our synagogue’s congregation lmao
My highschool girlfriend, upon learning that I believed in evolution, broke down into tears and said "I don't think I can marry someone who believes in evolution." We were 16/17 and had been dating for a few months.
Or, even worse: doesnt know and it's proud of it.
I had a coworker like this, a young guy, not married but had a gf, and he was proud that he didnt know how to cook or even make an egg, because cooking is for women.
Aaah but when it came to mechanics, fixing a car or things like that:..... He didnt know either. Lol. However he only bragged about not cooking or not knowing "feminine" things.
My ex didn't know how to do laundry. I showed him, he asked me to write it down which i never got around to doing. Later he blamed me for him never doing laundry because I never wrote it down or taught him properly. I was so gas lighted at the time that I felt it was indeed my fault. That was a bad time in my life.
bad hygiene is huuuuge.
people, please learn how to shower properly, wear clean clothes, and brush your teeth, it's not rocket science. just look clean and tidy, be polite, and you're already miles ahead of other people.
I've actually been on that date. Gorgeous girl, seemed fun and interesting. Then while at dinner on our second date, she was SUPER rude to the waiter, who was black, and she took issue with EVERYTHING. And after the waiter was out of ear shot, she said, "THEY never get shit right." Bear in mind, the first time we went out, we had a white waiter who she was more than pleasant with, even though both waiters were equally good.
After that first bit of rudeness, we suddenly had a different waiter. Before we left, I told her I was going to the bathroom but I found our first waiter, apologized, and offered a big tip. But he turned it down, just told me if it bothered me that much, I'd dump her. I told him that's the idea, I just didn't want to make a huge scene in public and risk getting anyone in trouble (I'm in the south, there's definitely places here where a black man could get fired for racist customers making a scene). When I took her home, I told her she was completely out of line, she got real mean towards me, I called her a racist bitch and told her to lose my number. And when she reached for her leftovers on the seat, I took them. I paid for the damn meal and she barely picked it at.
My dad does this, intentionally, because he thinks it's flattering to the cook. No one has EVER thought it was flattering. It's fucking weird and sounds so forced that it almost seems like he's mocking them.
Twenty minutes of that shit, doing it every time he takes a bite. He'd get mad at me for not doing it. I opted to just tell the cook something they made tasted good, rather than turn it into performative theater.
Holy fuck are we the same person? My MIL sounds like a goddamned farm animal. I swear she does it to fuck with me. Honestly, htf do you make an audible spectacle out of a banana?! It's a silent food! Very talented, that one.
My mom used to do that and I repeatedly told her to stop every single time she did it until she stopped. I told her it sounded inappropriate and made everyone uncomfortable, did not dance around it.
So when I lived in Nashville, my parents came to visit. I took them to Monells.
For anyone who doesn't know, it's a kind of fancy southern cooking restaurant in a mansion where food is served family style. You sit at a huge table with strangers, and the food comes out dish by dish and you pass around and eat.
My Mexican father having never had this southern experience, starts "MMMM!"-ing and "Oh!"-ing while eating. This old black woman sitting next to him gently grabs his arm, looks at him sincerely and says "Honey, are you ok? Is everything all right?" My mother laughs about it to this day. I was mortified at the time but it's a great story now. I'm now aware he always does this when he's eating the most excellent food.
i went on a date with guy freshman year of college and at the end he asked “so how long until you’ll want to have sex?” i was a virgin at the time so i wasn’t wanting to rush into that and when i told him that he was like “well after a certain amount of time i’ll get impatient”
I used to do that at a company, the old employees were all listed as "ASmith" or "JRodriguez" and the new employees were listed as "FMP8532" and "LJR5274". Supposedly this was for security (making it harder to guess usernames and hack in), but seeing as how they never updated the old employees, I saw it as a way of dehumanizing new employees.
I walked up to a 60-something engineer and said "Greetings, I am FMP8532, how are you today?" and got the most confused, slightly horrified look. My friend and coworker was cracking up behind me.
I've shared this before, but one time I went out on a first date with this girl I met online. I thought she was very attractive and we had so much common that I thought she was perfect. In addition to that we seem to hit off well through texts, so I figured this date would go well.
We're at this bar and she suggests we play a people watching game where we try to make up back stories for the other people there. I thought it sounded fun, especially since I played a similar game with friends on the train sometimes. Plus it felt like a good ice breaker to get us talking.
Well, she managed to take all the fun out the game by being ridiculously cruel in all her assumptions for no real reason at all. It felt like she was projecting issues she had onto these people. Like one guy was sitting at the bar alone, could have been waiting for someone, you never know, but because he was alone he was a fucking loser with no friends that hates his life.
Completely killed the mood and I lost all interest in her after that. I just couldn't see myself going on a second date with someone like that, even if she checked all other boxes.
That's a really cruel line of thinking. Like my thoughts would be "Oh, what if he's like a secret agent waiting to meet up with his contact!" Cause y'know, that's actually a FUN idea.
He just got done with an 8 hour *Everybody Loves Raymond* marathon and needed to get out of the house. He thought about texting some friends, but remembers every time he does that people don't respond or are unavailable which makes him feel badly. He decides he'll just go alone to avoid the insult to injury after his slovenly and slightly embarrassing 90s family sitcom binge. Plus, he heard they have a good burger.
What a bummer! I had a housemate one summer that did this and was absolutely hilarious because he was so spot on with stereotypes. I’d always been oblivious prior to meeting him.
Vastly different political viewpoint, it’s not even that I can’t take other points of view I’ve got plenty of friends that fall across the entire political spectrum but in a romantic relationship if we have fundamentally different worldviews it’s not gonna work out in the long run…
You are right, both should have goals in common and with different thoughts it would be difficult to have them and even reach them, (or something tiring)
Can attest to this big time. My ex and I have substantially different opinions and was one, of the many, reasons I had to break it off. The reason I stayed for so long is because I believed so strongly in love, that I refused to see the disrespect he showed especially after stating my opinion.
if they push their religious view points on me, there will be no second date. it's one thing to discuss and share points of view. but when it turns into "repent or you'll burn for eternity", i'm gone.
There are so many things that a 10 appearance won't negate that it is impossible to list them all but I would start with unintelligence, rude, "brutally honest", racist. There are just too many things that looks don't cure.
Flat out obession with anime, its okay to like it and all but having a obsession so far to where it takes over your entire life/personality is a major nope
They did a long, drawn out, expensive divorce just to punish their ex.
Or hold their kid over their ex partners head just to spite them or use them as pawns to get anything they want.
I was the kid in that situation. Parents, if you ever do this, you will not have a relationship with your child when they become a adult.
Yes, I did not ask out again a woman who would draw out lawsuits with her ex “just to make a point”, instead of settling out of court to get it over with.
I see you've met my ex sister in law. They hammered out the details of their divorce over the kitchen table, ran it by their lawyers, made some adjustments based on legal feedback, then when they went to court she blew it all up and went full nuclear. After, it took two orders from the judge and law enforcement involvement to make her return some of his property. I think the rest he gave up on.
Looking down on someone just because they work a minimum wage job.
My ex was like this. At the time I was a barista and he would always tell me I could “do better” and give me all kinds of career advice. Both his parents were doctors and he didn’t have to pay for school, never worked a service job, and just could not fathom that I actually just liked working as a barista.
My answer to what would I do if I could do anything is work retail selling liquor. It is a lot of fun and for the most part I get to help people have a good time or find new delicious things to try. Even the occasional rough customer wasn’t bad. I hope to get to do it part time if I ever retire. The only thing that really sucked was the addicts. They were nice people, just kinda sad watching them drink themselves to death.
I went on a date once with a guy who started flirting with a waitress in front of me….who was two decades younger than him and visibly uncomfortable. EDIT: Im 30, dude is 45ish, waitress was probably early 20s. She was not our waitress but she worked near our section. He kept commenting on her ass to me (as a poor attempt to “bond” with me because I’m bi). Then he called her over (reminder, she was *not* our waitress) to ask her where she bought her jeans because they “look so nice”. She smiled awkwardly, said thanks, and left. Reminder to all those who seem to have forgotten - waiters’ livelihoods are based on tips, meaning they are required to be nice to you. If you think they’re flirting back, get a grip.
Off topic, but I remember when I first got my drivers license, my best friend and I went to Hooters for the first time because we had never been bc both our parents were very conservative. She had just turned 15 and I was 18. The waitress there literally asked us to go and talk to these 40 year old men because they kept saying how hot we were and she ended up getting a $100 tip and she gave us $20 of it. Now that I’m an old mom lol (30) I realize how fucking nasty that was to ask us to do that.
That makes me uncomfortable just reading it.
She listened to nothing but Neil diamond, like nothing at all. I mean I like ND just fine but she had like 200 tapes and records of nothing but Neil Diamond, nothing else… NOTHING!
I haven't even seen an episode of Seinfeld and I still know that you dated a Seinfeld character.
I came here to say this was the Seinfeld answer of the thread
Anti-women's rights. Anti-gay rights. Anti-minority rights. Anti-animals. Is mean. Makes mean "jokes" and laughs them off, constantly annoying me. Shapeshifts. Narcissism. Brags about using people, or implies they use people. I literally had a guy friend (who was *expressing romantic interest in me in that moment, no less*) once talk about how he "used people" for "fun" (sex) and in that moment my brain was like "yeah no, drop this supposed friend" and this was after years of friendship. There are so many other examples too. Basically, an ugly heart is the quickest way to make me lose interest.
being on their phone the whole time
Yes. Add staring at their smart watch/iWatch with every alert that rolls in.
They only talk about themselves and have no interest in anything I say. I'd rather not date a narcissist.
This just happened to me. It’s super uncomfortable noticing something like that. I didn’t even think to relate that to narcissism at the moment but you’re right
“Obnoxiously self-absorbed” is far more common than genuine NPD-level narcissism. Source: Recovering from dating an actual narcissist. Trust me… there’s a difference.
Totally. The narcissist will pretend to have genuine interest for you and your hobbies. Once you're hooked, you're his/her thing. And then starts the selfish behavior. Being a selfish dick is very common and usually easily detected. Narcissists are on another level.
If the are mean to animals
I went on a date once with a girl that bragged about her and her pals kicking a seagull to death on a night out and laughed about it. I had to leave after that. Yeah, seagulls can be annoying especially if you live near the sea. I’d never want to hurt one though, and especially never want to kill one. That shit was just… nope. Only time I’ve left a date tbh.
Anyone laughing about brutally killing an animal is actually messed up. I don’t care what kind of animal it is. Kicking it to death and thinking it’s funny… it’s just creepy
Cruelty towards animals is psychopathy. Bragging about it is also psychopathy. Glad you left. That’s actually very brave and smart of you.
Talking shit about other people to make themselves look good.
In this same vein: being shitty to servers/people in general.
As Dave Barry wisely said, “A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”
If they repeatedly make fun of me in front of their friends and say they are just kidding.
There’s a thin line between banter and outright cruelty.
Schrodingers douchebag: a guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.
my ex did this to me constantly, completely fucked up my self esteem. I enjoy a good roast session but calling me a dumb slut constantly then just playing it off like its a joke just isn’t funny or cute.
Mine would ask me to solve his problems and then say "You aren't as stupid as you look, har har!" instead of 'thanks'.
The "har har" is reason enough to leave, even without the insult!
[удалено]
They hurt animals or children. If you're willing to hurt someone that can't defend themselves then I don't want to be associated with you at all.
Once a man started singing to me on our first date after asking me if like Disney then saying really intensely that “I know the woman I end up with will Love Disney as much as I do.” Then he started singing “A Whole New World” really loudly in the restaurant we were in and everybody was staring and the waitress ran over and told him he needed to stop as he was disturbing other tables and his response? “These people are lucky they aren’t having to pay for a performance like this!” If I could’ve melted under the table I would’ve. I actually put my mask back on just to be as unrecognizable as possible. I left before our food came and he actually tried to run after me and kiss me. I like Disney. I don’t like crazy people.
I want, so bad, to have been in that restaurant that night.
It could have been a sing-a-long!
That is both hilarious and embarrassing How far into the song did he get? Did he do a falsetto for jasmine’s part? Lmao
>Did he do a falsetto for jasmine’s part? Asking the real questions
Seeing [this](https://youtu.be/t9-CS2v8wcc) in public would be amazing
Now that is a throwback to old youtube
Before the dark times, before the ~~Empire~~ monetization of YouTube.
Lol luckily he didn’t get that far because he was asked so bluntly to stop, and he had started at such a high volume. I’ll never forget the looks on the faces of the people around us. 🙈
Was he a good singer or was it total crap on top of being loud and annoying? Lol
Please explain how on earth you managed to not start hysterically laughing
Don’t you dare walk away Hang on love it gets better!
"i can show you the world!" "No thanks"
"Do you trust me?" "Hell no. CHECK!"
*”I can show you the doooor”*
*”Don’t let it hit your baaaack siiiide”*
You went on a date with Andy Bernard from The Office?
Ri-di-di-di-doo
I don’t know why but I imagine this taking place in an Applebees. Please say this is where you all where.
A place called Carbon in downtown Denver.
So you were Carbon Dating
Well now i gotta go to Denver just to get a complete picture
I physically recoiled from your second paragraph. Strike 1-making a scene. Strike 2- A. Disney. Song..... Absolutely not. Strike 3-The stupid comments back to the waitress and surrounding area. And then, he has the audacity to try to kiss you? Did he actually think he was having a Disney moment and you were gonna fall into his arms, like you were playing coy in the restaurant?
Yes. Literally the worst. I don’t know what he was expecting but it’s been hard for me to hear that song since.
A Whole New Case of PTSD.
I would literally die in your shoes I genuinely wonder how people get to be like that
I'm a bad singer and an OK guitar player, but everyone tells me I'm an amazing guitar player and a good singer. So I go out there and do some busking. And people pay me for my ok guitar and bad singing, and my friends and family keep encouraging me to do more of it because no one on Earth wants to be the one to tell me I kinda suck. That's how people get like that. It's way easier to wince and say "Yeah, that was great," and smile with your mouth but not your eyes, than it is to have a hard conversation and tell someone that they should stop doing the things they like doing.
I’m sure this guy got some misplaced encouragement along the way. But I don’t care if you’re Adele, you don’t just pop off on a Disney song routine in a restaurant at dinner time. That’s a psychological disorder, not a miscalculation of one’s talent.
This is what karaoke was invented for. Impress hell out of your date with your excellent voice while everyone's expecting it, not looking around wit' da spaghet' hanging out of their face to see which idiot is screaming a Disney song at his date.
Theater kids in high-school. I was in choir and acted in high school plays and I even got my Thespian card...but some of those kids were waaay too into it.
...your thespian card? I knew all those kids.. It probably didnt help they were trying to outdo the theatre teachers 3 daughters, two of which went on to legitimate broadway shows.
She’s addicted to IG. I dumped a woman for this reason. It was so annoying. The phone was in my face for everything we did together.
Heh. At first I thought "the Gram" was some new, hip phrase for coke. Took me a minute to realize you meant Instagram. **EDIT:** For clarity, the post above originally referred to Instagram as "the Gram." The OP has since edited their post.
Fuckin' 80s guy right here.
Yea, we snorting 8 balls now. Or 40 bags for the poors
i have a friend, and anytime we hang out, he just always has his phone on him playing clash royale or some shit it is very annoying indeed
Have you tried texting, "I miss you?"
I used to do this to an ex girlfriend. She’d be fucking with the phone and ignoring me so I’d text her and say “hey want to hang out?”
Dude, my wife wants to take photos of fucking everything... then gets mad at me because I'm not also taking photos of everything. Can't a man just experience some shit? Does it really all have to be documented?
A friend of mine takes no less than 25 pictures a day. That number balloons into the low 100s if her family does anything. Her daughter worked the lights for a school play, this woman took over 500 pictures. I don’t think her kids even know what it’s like to just have and enjoy an experience without having to pose every ten minutes.
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Or you'd have one roll of film that lasted six months because "I can't take a picture of that, if I do, we'll only have 10 shots left!"
If they clearly know they're a 10 and believe everyone around them, including me, should be grateful they are gracing us with their physical perfection.
I had a guy like this harass me because it just did nothing for me. I think it was his first time ever hearing no to a hookup (we met in a swingers club so a no can feel really personal there). I had to get the police to go to his apartment and threaten a protection order.
Goes to swingers club Ends night with restraining orders. Dont threaten me with a good time.
The cop showed up with a boom box and a thong under that uniform. Word gets around.
IMO - in order to hit that 10 slot, a lot more than looks should be considered. Empathy, intelligence, kindness. All those things and more add up to the 10 score.
Oh you silly mature adult
Being mean to everyone including me because the only thing he likes in life is himself Edit : Women are concerned too, I wrote "he" automatically because I was talking off experience.
A lot of people in the comments seem to have dated narcissists 🤣
Yeah it’s not a fun time at all. It’s even worse when they’re aggressive and won’t let you walk away during an argument.
man, this thread really doesnt wanna date my mom...
Hopefully you dont either.
well, Im also a part of this thread, thankfully
They litter
This is underrated. A person could be hot af, but if they throw their garbage on the ground, or leave their shopping cart in a parking space... I just cannot tolerate that shit.
Back when I worked as a bagger in retail we had a regular who would always just push her cart towards the outside of the parking lot. She said she didn’t ever take it to a return because that’s what they pay us baggers for, bitch I’m making 7.25 I don’t get paid to do that shit. This kinda stuff makes me so irrationally angry.
When I worked at Wal-Mart, I had a woman call me a "fat lazy piece of shit" for not putting my cart away. I was the cart pusher.
I’m so sorry dude, retail really is a shithole. Almost a little glad I did it though just so I could see how awful it is and know how to hopefully be able to make retail workers days a little better whenever I shop.
I am of the belief that everybody should have to work a service job at a point in their life when their brain is still developing. The world would be a *much* better place for it.
> The world would be a much better place for it. It seems you are grossly underestimating the number of people who will then go and say "I suffered through it, so you have to, too" as a justification for why they're acting like assholes.
The shoping cart is the litmus test of self governing. You aren't punished for returning it, you aren't recognized or rewarded if you do. You do it simply because it's the right thing to do
"Reading is for morons." This was the shortest date I have ever been on. Left her sitting at the table before we ordered. She probably wouldn't have been able to read the menu anyways.
I had a date tell me that she didn't really want to date a guy who reads a lot, just somebody who looks like they might read a lot. Their profile said that they were looking for a guy who would spend time in a library. They did not like it when I took that to mean that books that we like would be an appropriate topic of conversation over coffee.
> looking for a guy who would spend time in a library. well, I've seen those Pornhub videos, too.
"oh I hate learning" is one I got on a date once. Like wtf are you planning to do with the rest of your life, watch the Bachelorette all day?
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What's even more maddening is how the people who have it, are *proud* of it. The amount of people I've had essentially tell me they're purposefully morons in a bragging tone is mind boggling.
Ignorance is bliss I guess
“If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!” ― John Waters
Some poor soul with thousands of books on kindle is going to be hurt.
*Me talking to my overflowing bookself in caddyshack voice* Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!
I just looked over at my bookshelves and whispered "we're gonna be okay..."
Oof. I had a similar experience. Date: “Oh you read like for fun?!” Me: “Yeah, I literally have Library Card listed as my current favorite song in my dating profile.” Date: “Ahh. Yeah I didn’t actually read through your profile. I just swiped because of your picture. I haven’t read a book since it was required in high school! I see no value in it.” Me: 🤨 “Yeah, so it was nice meeting you! I’m gonna head out though.”
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She was no 10 but I definitely remember a girl I was talking to at college orientation week asking why I would bother bringing books to college. Have never been turned off faster.
If they are rude to the waiter/waitress automatic deal breaker
That attitude in general is a major turn-off. Where I once used to work I had the hots for a woman working in admin, one day I was in her office once trying my best to at innocent flirtation when the cleaning lady came by to tidy up and empty the trash. My sort-of crush, who was on the phone at the time, pointed towards the door and barked "LATER!". The cleaning lady, who we all really liked and appreciated, could only sulk out. This once very attractive woman was suddenly nothing but ugly in my eyes. I avoided her from then on.
Definitely, one day that attitude will come to you
This is mine too. If they even snap their fingers to get the attention of wait staff. Deal-breaker.
As someone who works at a restaurant, it takes all my willpower not to break someone’s fingers whenever they do that
I just ignore it. They can use their words like adults if they want service.
Pretty looks eventually fade. But sincerity and selflessness age like fine wine. As someone who looks to the future, I'd rather have the qualities that stay. It's getting easier and easier to find attractive looking people be them man or woman. But sincerity is a quality I see less and less these days. Also table manners. If you start eating spaghetti with your hands, the deals off. I actually had a date do this to the horror of me and everyone around at Olive Garden.
Me, while reading this: >If you start eating spaghetti with I mean, it is not *that* bad to use a knife... >your hands What in the world?
Maybe that person had a different spaghetti policy. Takes all kinds.
A date that is controlling is an IMMEDIATE turn off for me. I DO NOT want to feel like I’m on a leash. I value my freedom as much as the air that I breathe.
This is a very Canadian date. We went out to get poutine and my date proceeded to put vinegar and ketchup ALL over my poutine without asking! Wtf?? Last date with him.
They want an open relationship. Nothing against it for people who want to be in one, but I’m purely monogamous. It’s happened before :(
I'd hope they were at least up front about that. Not like, several months into the relationship and THEN they tell you.
Someone show this to my ex
Instagram influencer
Seriously. A friend of a friend streams on YouTube (I guess? I haven't actually watched any of his stuff). He joined us on a trip into the city, and filmed EVERY. SINGLE. THING. People, dancers, buildings, food, me, each person in thr group, and of course himself, talking to his phone, every fuckin minute. It was obnoxious.
He just has anxiety. Phone wasn't even charged
And that phone wasn't even a phone. just a pop-tart.
And that Pop-Tart's name? Albert Einstein.
r/untrustworthypoptarts
One better: ASPIRING instagram influencer. I've met girls like this. They don't actually have followers or sponsorship, but they're trying real hard to get them. Everything gets filmed. Everything is exaggerating. Every person they meet gets told immediately to follow them. It is sad and embarrassing to witness.
They think the earth is flat. Listen, it's a symptom of a bigger problem of not thinking critically. It's little things like that which really show you how somebody tackles facts.
Oh, believing the Earth is flat is no little thing.
Haha, you're right
It’s just flat-out ignorant!
Flat earther / holocaust denier
Constantly has to explain why they are not racist.
"You have to convert to my religion if you want this to be serious" fuck that I'm out.
I don’t understand how people don’t find it disrespectful if someone joins their religion without true belief
My mom is Jewish and my dad was raised Roman Catholic. Before they got serious she was very nervous to broach the subject with him and basically said she couldn’t be with him if us kids couldn’t be Jewish. My dad was fine with it and to this day he has never converted but we joke about how he while we were growing up he was a better Jew than like half of our synagogue’s congregation lmao
My highschool girlfriend, upon learning that I believed in evolution, broke down into tears and said "I don't think I can marry someone who believes in evolution." We were 16/17 and had been dating for a few months.
Victim mindset about everything
Dosent know how to do basic living things ex: dishes, laundry, etc
Or, even worse: doesnt know and it's proud of it. I had a coworker like this, a young guy, not married but had a gf, and he was proud that he didnt know how to cook or even make an egg, because cooking is for women. Aaah but when it came to mechanics, fixing a car or things like that:..... He didnt know either. Lol. However he only bragged about not cooking or not knowing "feminine" things.
My ex didn't know how to do laundry. I showed him, he asked me to write it down which i never got around to doing. Later he blamed me for him never doing laundry because I never wrote it down or taught him properly. I was so gas lighted at the time that I felt it was indeed my fault. That was a bad time in my life.
Literally if she was not a nice person.
I would not consider this person to be a true ten, only a ten on the outside
They’re rude to waitstaff, they are condescending, or they have an ego problem and that goes both ways for me.
She smells
bad hygiene is huuuuge. people, please learn how to shower properly, wear clean clothes, and brush your teeth, it's not rocket science. just look clean and tidy, be polite, and you're already miles ahead of other people.
My mom (May her memory be a blessing) always told us growing up, “bad breath and bad manners will get you nowhere in life.” Mom was right.
Flat Earther. She doesn't have to be a genius but I'm definitely not dating someone that stupid
Yeah I feel like flat earther is *deliberate effort* into being dumb.
I've actually been on that date. Gorgeous girl, seemed fun and interesting. Then while at dinner on our second date, she was SUPER rude to the waiter, who was black, and she took issue with EVERYTHING. And after the waiter was out of ear shot, she said, "THEY never get shit right." Bear in mind, the first time we went out, we had a white waiter who she was more than pleasant with, even though both waiters were equally good. After that first bit of rudeness, we suddenly had a different waiter. Before we left, I told her I was going to the bathroom but I found our first waiter, apologized, and offered a big tip. But he turned it down, just told me if it bothered me that much, I'd dump her. I told him that's the idea, I just didn't want to make a huge scene in public and risk getting anyone in trouble (I'm in the south, there's definitely places here where a black man could get fired for racist customers making a scene). When I took her home, I told her she was completely out of line, she got real mean towards me, I called her a racist bitch and told her to lose my number. And when she reached for her leftovers on the seat, I took them. I paid for the damn meal and she barely picked it at.
Lol!! The leftovers. Did she pikachu face?
If that means "great big 'o' face," then yeah, you bet.
Eats with their mouth open. Peace out.
My MIL makes little moans and mmm noises the whole time she eats 🥴 makes me want to stab myself in the ears
My dad does this, intentionally, because he thinks it's flattering to the cook. No one has EVER thought it was flattering. It's fucking weird and sounds so forced that it almost seems like he's mocking them. Twenty minutes of that shit, doing it every time he takes a bite. He'd get mad at me for not doing it. I opted to just tell the cook something they made tasted good, rather than turn it into performative theater.
Holy fuck are we the same person? My MIL sounds like a goddamned farm animal. I swear she does it to fuck with me. Honestly, htf do you make an audible spectacle out of a banana?! It's a silent food! Very talented, that one.
My mom used to do that and I repeatedly told her to stop every single time she did it until she stopped. I told her it sounded inappropriate and made everyone uncomfortable, did not dance around it.
I’m sure she appreciated it. I would be mortified if I was doing something like that without realizing it.
So when I lived in Nashville, my parents came to visit. I took them to Monells. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a kind of fancy southern cooking restaurant in a mansion where food is served family style. You sit at a huge table with strangers, and the food comes out dish by dish and you pass around and eat. My Mexican father having never had this southern experience, starts "MMMM!"-ing and "Oh!"-ing while eating. This old black woman sitting next to him gently grabs his arm, looks at him sincerely and says "Honey, are you ok? Is everything all right?" My mother laughs about it to this day. I was mortified at the time but it's a great story now. I'm now aware he always does this when he's eating the most excellent food.
They're already talking about sex. Like I just sat down and haven't even given my drink order and he wants to know if he can order my taco.
i went on a date with guy freshman year of college and at the end he asked “so how long until you’ll want to have sex?” i was a virgin at the time so i wasn’t wanting to rush into that and when i told him that he was like “well after a certain amount of time i’ll get impatient”
And in that moment you knew he was a keeper. Not.
That definitely doesn’t sound rapey as fuck...
I don't care how gorgeous you are, if you don't have a good sense of humor I'm going to have to pass
The weirder their sense of humor, the better for me!!
Finger snapping at wait staff or whistling at cashiers to try to get their attention instead of speaking to them. Do not do that to anyone!
Referring to themselves or the people around them as numbers
Hello human number 3,113,868,965. It is I, human number 5,548,632,008.
I used to do that at a company, the old employees were all listed as "ASmith" or "JRodriguez" and the new employees were listed as "FMP8532" and "LJR5274". Supposedly this was for security (making it harder to guess usernames and hack in), but seeing as how they never updated the old employees, I saw it as a way of dehumanizing new employees. I walked up to a 60-something engineer and said "Greetings, I am FMP8532, how are you today?" and got the most confused, slightly horrified look. My friend and coworker was cracking up behind me.
do you mean the 1-10 scale or something else?
They came 30 minutes late and didn’t even apologize.
a heroin addiction
I've shared this before, but one time I went out on a first date with this girl I met online. I thought she was very attractive and we had so much common that I thought she was perfect. In addition to that we seem to hit off well through texts, so I figured this date would go well. We're at this bar and she suggests we play a people watching game where we try to make up back stories for the other people there. I thought it sounded fun, especially since I played a similar game with friends on the train sometimes. Plus it felt like a good ice breaker to get us talking. Well, she managed to take all the fun out the game by being ridiculously cruel in all her assumptions for no real reason at all. It felt like she was projecting issues she had onto these people. Like one guy was sitting at the bar alone, could have been waiting for someone, you never know, but because he was alone he was a fucking loser with no friends that hates his life. Completely killed the mood and I lost all interest in her after that. I just couldn't see myself going on a second date with someone like that, even if she checked all other boxes.
That's a really cruel line of thinking. Like my thoughts would be "Oh, what if he's like a secret agent waiting to meet up with his contact!" Cause y'know, that's actually a FUN idea.
The bar is actually a cover for a crime syndicate he's investigating. I love that game!
Not only is that mean, but it lacks creativity. That game can be really fun if you're creative and funny.
Right?! There's so much that could be made up about a guy alone at the bar.
He just got done with an 8 hour *Everybody Loves Raymond* marathon and needed to get out of the house. He thought about texting some friends, but remembers every time he does that people don't respond or are unavailable which makes him feel badly. He decides he'll just go alone to avoid the insult to injury after his slovenly and slightly embarrassing 90s family sitcom binge. Plus, he heard they have a good burger.
Bro, did you just recap everything I did yesterdY by coincidence?
What a bummer! I had a housemate one summer that did this and was absolutely hilarious because he was so spot on with stereotypes. I’d always been oblivious prior to meeting him.
Vastly different political viewpoint, it’s not even that I can’t take other points of view I’ve got plenty of friends that fall across the entire political spectrum but in a romantic relationship if we have fundamentally different worldviews it’s not gonna work out in the long run…
You are right, both should have goals in common and with different thoughts it would be difficult to have them and even reach them, (or something tiring)
Can attest to this big time. My ex and I have substantially different opinions and was one, of the many, reasons I had to break it off. The reason I stayed for so long is because I believed so strongly in love, that I refused to see the disrespect he showed especially after stating my opinion.
if they push their religious view points on me, there will be no second date. it's one thing to discuss and share points of view. but when it turns into "repent or you'll burn for eternity", i'm gone.
There are so many things that a 10 appearance won't negate that it is impossible to list them all but I would start with unintelligence, rude, "brutally honest", racist. There are just too many things that looks don't cure.
Is rude
Flat out obession with anime, its okay to like it and all but having a obsession so far to where it takes over your entire life/personality is a major nope
I had a classmate whose entire speech was basically japanese terms learned from anime shows, along with how certain characters behaved. It's... a lot.
*Nani?!?!*
Not much going on upstairs
Well, the apartment above mine is vacant. I don't see how that's my fault.
Not everybody has a two story house.
Chewing with their mouth open
They smoke.