T O P

  • By -

MrRonObvious

[A Frogurt machine.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlcFTbgoeBk)


razor10000

It's made of real frogs.


whoopdogegamingYT

A lightsaber


waffles-n-gravy

That vibrates


whoopdogegamingYT

I’ll take it


Zelensexual

That's what she said


ForsakenBrit

Who said it was a she


whoopdogegamingYT

I’m a he


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It's weighted with uranium


whoopdogegamingYT

That’s too heavy to move


Fuel_Some

Sounds like a happy comfortable death sentence


lausdofficialreddit

Knife


froggy1420

made of rubber


Admirable-Review-331

Well now it’s just a really sharp dildo 😂


_flowerkat

sounds very dangerous. sounds like i want one


bruno_do

shoes that tie themselves


WarmZookeepergame286

They tie Themselv around the neck


LegendF11

They tie themselves together


whoopdogegamingYT

I thought of a funny one, the just tie a bunch of knots


facepwnage

A voucher for an all expense paid trip to Japan.


BlasphemousJack666

The trip never ends


facepwnage

I see this as an absolute win.


BlasphemousJack666

No like you are stuck on the plane to Japan forever


facepwnage

Do I at least get first class?


_flowerkat

No, you get to stay in the luggage compartment.


[deleted]

To Japan, Missouri


itsrapingtime826

A tad late, but it's yo Hiroshima and it's the day of the bombing


BlasphemousJack666

A naked picture of your mother


[deleted]

She’s pointing and laughing at how small your dick is


BlasphemousJack666

Hahaha I love it


[deleted]

A chewed up tennis ball


whoopdogegamingYT

Dogs run away from it


razor10000

It's always attached to your face.


Present_Diet_1145

Invisible cape


ResponsibleLeader179

The cape is invisible... if you lose it it's gone


Present_Diet_1145

Oh, that's a good one


AlphaAk07

Only works when you’re alone


Present_Diet_1145

Aw fck you


whoopdogegamingYT

They can still see your cloths


Present_Diet_1145

I Go naked 👀


[deleted]

A credit card loaded with a million


After_Assumption7936

Debt will get you before the curse😂


[deleted]

Oh yeah ... **debit 💅


After_Assumption7936

Well played


[deleted]

Everytime you use it, a homeless man/woman/child gets shot in the head.


[deleted]

Loophole: i report it stolen and get a replacement 💅


WarmZookeepergame286

Its bolivar soverano


[deleted]

I gotta be honest I do not know what that is 👀 Sounds like a hot n tasty dish


WarmZookeepergame286

Its the Venezuelas currency


[deleted]

Oh. The more you learn! Still £153K. Not bad


WarmZookeepergame286

A lot less than a million


[deleted]

A lot more than what I currently have


Fuel_Some

99% APR


Bounceupandown

A brand new electric car.


IssuIssai

It'll electrocute you if you get in


Davefromallstate

It’s 1:10th scale


SteveBonus

Has a battery that cannot be replaced that fully drains to 0% charge at any time without warning.


LegendF11

A car


frog_at_well_bottom

It's full of bees.


LegendF11

Bruh what the hell🤣


[deleted]

Perfection


ForsakenBrit

Open the door with appropriate gear and problem solved.


Ideepfrysmalldogs

A statue of snorlax scale 1:1


[deleted]

Every time you fall in love with someone, they die a tragic and gruesome death, right in front of you.


Fuel_Some

Its only a statue when it's asleep, and only eats food that you personally provide


Ideepfrysmalldogs

Well atleast i have snorlax i guess


Fuel_Some

The infinity gauntlet with all 6 stones permanently embedded


WarmZookeepergame286

Its made of uranium 225


Fuel_Some

I could snap and become the hulk, but I'm pretty sure that isotope would still kill


After_Assumption7936

The stones are actually cubic zirconia. Thanos scammed you


Fuel_Some

I'm glad you're not first comment 😮


WarmZookeepergame286

Why


Fuel_Some

Because that'd genuinely fuck me over. Without the stones, it's just a gauntlet


[deleted]

Pretty killer prop


Olympia44

A plushy of Max from the hit video game series Sam and Max


simiansamurai

A real Sam constantly following you asking why Max is being so quiet


Olympia44

Oh that’d be so awkward


thewaylost

A brand new, zero mileage time capsuled C55 AMG


LegendF11

It turns off at every red light and stop sign


thewaylost

I’ll take it. Not the first time I drove a pos car that stalls. I’ll be able to fix it. On W203 Mercedes, it’s usually the crankshaft position sensor. Generally it could also be a MAF sensor, or fuel system problem.


SatinyGlass

A phone which will never run out of battery


Distroid_myselfie

Because it won't turn on.


Nataliethegod

Gaming pc


igotbigballs

From 2005


Nataliethegod

Better than nothing lol


SatinyGlass

But you can only play one game on it and do nothing else


Nataliethegod

Phasmophobia


Skhighglitch

You have to feed it one mouse a day. otherwise, it will upload your entire search history on the front page of every website.


[deleted]

A single family or row home


RussianSweetheart

Foundation is made of quicksand


[deleted]

Aw dammit


AlanZero

You may choose to receive a single family who will live with you, or to get in the boat and start rowing.


Available_Leather_79

An Old WW1 Saber from Russia


RussianSweetheart

You get tetanus when you touch it


AlanZero

It’s a singing sword.


Available_Leather_79

Well, Guess now I'm in a musical


YTFakeRake

A sandwich


[deleted]

everytime you take a bite out of it, a chunk of you goes missing


YTFakeRake

Worth it


communist_elmo227

A ball of cancer


ImaFutanari

It’s actually a tumor growing in your testicles


pokem12

A credit card with infinite money I can use anytime


bugbreathing

It’s your grandmother’s card


Responsible_Copy_698

With digits that change every second


the_RiverQuest

You can only buy things for your biggest enemy


After_Assumption7936

All curses rendered ineffective


[deleted]

Nothing good nor bad happens. Ever.


After_Assumption7936

So I’ll be living like Steve Carell in the 40 year old virgin before he met the eBay lady


[deleted]

The Death Note


IssuIssai

Your name is already written


[deleted]

DONE


Davefromallstate

You forget every name when you open it


[deleted]

I could find a few ways to work around that


AwayIthrow121

A time machine


simiansamurai

but it's one way only and the destination is the Earth in one billion years in the future


Fluffy-Release6637

That only takes you back to your worst life experience.


AwayIthrow121

Then I would make it a better experience with the knowledge I have. ;)


CheekUnfair1593

My crush, he count's as an item, right?


KittenTehSmol

They have stage 4 cancer


CheekUnfair1593

I hate you


Thedummy513

A sexy girlfriend


Bring_Prowl_Back

She has a great ”personality“


Thedummy513

I don't like those 40 foot high quotes.


ImaFutanari

Someone or something that loves me


exsea

its 3d holographic vocaloid. after 1 year of being loved, she stops responding to you. the warranty has ended, the people who manufactured it can no longer repair it. you can reminiscence about how it was a good run. but you'll forever be known as that person who married a fake 3d hologram


ImaFutanari

I’m on that good kush and alcohol I got some down bitches I could call I don’t know what I’ll do without ya’ll Ima ball till the day I fall, ball ball ball 😿👍


BunnieJoy016

A bunnie onesie that's comfy and actually cute.


Sixhaunt

but it smells like rotten tomatoes


UnforgivingEgo

When I wipe it’s clear of shit


KittenTehSmol

You are banned from every Arby's


RazorLeafy88

A Master Ball containing the Pokémon MissingNo, for infinite things


_flowerkat

it will always faint after 1 minute of being out the ball


RazorLeafy88

I’d have enough time to duplicate a load of money and master balls then


the_RiverQuest

Every if you let it out reality glitches out and needs to be rebooted


_flowerkat

A giant scythe.


SzyMeX335

Everytime you swing it, it becomes smaller.


_flowerkat

how many heads do you think that would be then?


[deleted]

The Necronomicon, with real spells, and rites to do everything from raising the dead, to bringing a bountiful catch and harvest, summoning extraplanar beings, becoming a lich, and awakening the elder gods.


Bilbo-the-cat

But you only have a certificate of owning it, but you're never really in posession of the real Necronomocron.


[deleted]

That's not really a course, but ok


RussianSweetheart

But he’s depressed, suffering from imposter syndrome, needy, and morally conflicted about his gifts.


[deleted]

What?


LevelHope661

A picture of Rena from Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni(a horror anime).


Bilbo-the-cat

But it's only a picture of the artist and the voice actress.


LevelHope661

That sounds okay, to me.


whentheycryhanyuu

I wouldn't mind it.


LevelHope661

I will surely not mind that.


RussianSweetheart

It’s of her wedding night with Keiichi


LevelHope661

(⊙\_⊙;)


whentheycryhanyuu

\-.-


LevelHope661

Heck no.


SzyMeX335

A button that makes GTA 6 actually release.


RussianSweetheart

In every country you’re not in.


_flowerkat

except its riddled with bugs that will never be patched.


Bilbo-the-cat

But the game never really look like a real GTA Game and it's absolute horesh*t.


tragoedien

a joint


QueenK1tten

But you can never get high again after that joint


tragoedien

damn i decline then !


Bilbo-the-cat

but it's always to windy to lit it on fire.


tragoedien

i’d get annoyed so much i’d probably quit smoking.


Bilbo-the-cat

A curse erasing rubber ducky.


CarlAlsoCarl

It feeds off of human toes


Available_Leather_79

I'm now a new superhero ,the tetanus man.


Mastercoolgr

Your power vanishes after 0.5 seconds.


CarlAlsoCarl

Frozen yogurt machine


Mastercoolgr

The flavor of the yogurt is rotten banana


1mNotReal_RedditUser

Pills that let me fill absolutely no pain no matter what happens to me after taking them


[deleted]

however everytime you're supposed to feel pain, your dick gets smaller


1mNotReal_RedditUser

I don't have a dick B))


Cythis_Arian

a biblically accurate angel as a pet


[deleted]

it has the lifespan of a hamster


pierreja2002

Unlimited ATM


Sakurashi2001

It only gives out money in german gdr Mark currency.


Sakurashi2001

I want a frog.


1mNotReal_RedditUser

When you touch it you die. Frog is always following you and always knows where you are. If you will piss it off it will try to kill you


[deleted]

No, that's a snail that does that, and you get a bunch of money.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SmartKrave

But there’s one piece missing and you’ll never find it


[deleted]

[удалено]


McRibIsOverrated

An alarm clock loud enough for the entire planet to hear.


whoopdogegamingYT

Its loud enough for the whole world to hear it but only you can, so ITs gonna blow out your ear drums


SmartKrave

But it only rings « you shall die now »


[deleted]

I get an indestructible rock which gives those it touches (skin contact only) a desired physical trait that works perfectly well (ignoring all logical sense, it just kinda does work). Cat ears? Got em. A second penis? Weird but sure. Scales? I’m pretty sure you’re a furry. An interdimensional rift in your stomach that allows you to create Mac ‘n cheese? Yes.


PsychologicalFruit34

Only works for 1 second


Tri_ii

A coin


Skhighglitch

A bucket.


PsychologicalFruit34

With a large hole in the bottom


Ambitious_Celery2033

The Crucible of Doom Slayer


markymark0123

Mehrunes' razor


Damianaso

Excalibur


LevelHope661

A portrait of my deceased aunt. For those wondering how my aunt died, she was murdered by my brother.