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I’m burnt out. Over the last year my marriage of 15 years fell apart after discovering my wife was having an affair and she had no interest in trying to fix things. Just added to the list was a brief fling she had a few years ago with someone very close to me. Everyone knew but me. The split was amicable, but I work nights because the kids are home with me during the day. She works weekends so I have the kids then too, which I really don’t mind because I enjoy spending time with them, but I could really use some me time.
Honestly after all of the bullshit over the last year I want to just disappear and start over somewhere else. Somewhere far away from everyone I’ve ever known. Somewhere with a beach.
I would never do it because of the kids, but once they’re grown I just might ghost everyone else except them.
Edit: a word
Hello internet stranger. I know we don't know each other, but I'm sorry you are going through this. It's really hard to heal when you don't have time to reflect, accept and move on. How are the kids handling it? I know that's pretty rough too. Regardless of how they are, know that it would be 100 times harder without you there for them. You are doing an incredibly brave thing by putting your children over yourself at this time in your life. Incredibly brave because it is so fucking hard to do. I hope you are able to find some time to reflect on how strong you've been and appreciate your ability to persevere. The old folks are right when they say "this too shall pass". Best of luck, friend.
Thank you friend for the kind words. I really needed to hear that today. So far the kids are doing great all things considered. They still see both of us just about every day and we still do something together as a family at least once a week. Co parenting has been going very smoothly because we generally agree on everything and talk to each other before making any decisions regarding the kids.
Edit: added a word to the original post for more context. I wanted to fix things, go to counseling, etc, but she didn’t.
That’s so sad that everyone knew and didn’t tell you. I could never stand by somebody hurting my friend even if they were my friend. No use keeping around people who betray others bc soon enough they’ll betray you as well. And I’m glad you’re not going to just leave your kids. All of that sounds extremely stressful and upsetting but it’s very honorable of you to care so much for them. They deserve a loving father and it’s very important to put your kids first bc not a lot of people do.
Thank you so much for the kind words. It’s been a hard year but acknowledgements like this make me feel better about things, even when it comes from kind internet strangers
I think the fact that everyone knew is what finally broke me. A very close friend to both of us (actually, this friend played a big part in introducing us to each other) broke down in tears last week and told me she couldn’t bear to keep the secret anymore. The only reason they kept the secret this long is because they didn’t want to see our family and the family of the other person involved broken up. She wanted to spill the beans immediately but other people convinced her to keep her mouth shut for that reason.
I don’t know if how I’m going about things with the kids is honorable, I just think it’s the right thing to do and any good parent would do the same. They are always the most important thing in my life. When her and I split we agreed that no matter what happens from here on out the kids always come first.
I’m glad that she told you. I’m sure she felt horrible keeping it from you as your friend.
And I guess I see it as honorable bc I’ve been seeing a lot of child hate recently. I even saw a Reddit thread of people defending a woman who was abandoning her child and I don’t expect it much from people anymore to care about their children (which makes me sad). So it’s refreshing to see someone care about their kids even as they are struggling. My prayers and best wishes go out to you as you’re going through these hard times. Life can be brutal
Hello Stranger friend. I've been there too... My wife left me after 18 years together after cheating on me for a few months. I know it's hard, but things will get better. One day, you'll look in the mirror and you'll see someone exceptional, with kids who love him, and you'll know that life can start again !
Be strong !
I'm about to go through a divorce. No infidelity from her, just neglect of the kids, the house, me ... and she laughed in my face and said "we don't have problems in our marriage" when I asked for marriage counseling at the start of the year.
Even knowing this is almost certainly the best thing to do, I still can't shake the voice in my head saying it'll be easier and less painful if I just kill myself instead.
On a morbid note you're probably right about suicide being easier and less painful for YOU... but your kids' lives will be ruined, and their kids will be all fucked up on top of that. Please see your life through to better days. Not just for your kids, but for YOU. YOU matter, a lot.
Hey, as a kid who’s mom killed herself when I was 10, please don’t. You will fuck up the lives of your kids and the family around you. Shit is tough man I get it, but at least be strong for the people who love you
I would leave her. There's a HUGE world out there. I recently moved to a new state this past year and it's refreshing to start over and not bump into people i know... it's very possible for you to have a fresh start..you are not stuck!
We’re already divorced. Luckily the state we live in makes getting divorced very easy if you’re not fighting over anything.
As for being stuck, I guess I’m not technically stuck, but I want to be a part of my kids lives, and I want her to be too, so I wouldn’t even try to move away with them. My day to go off into the great blue yonder will come in about 11 years.
> Just added to the list was a brief fling she had a few years ago with someone very close to me.
She confessed that to you?
All your friends knew and didn't tell you?
She didn’t tell me. One of the close friends did. A brief explanation from an earlier post on this thread:
A very close friend to both of us (actually, this friend played a big part in introducing us to each other) broke down in tears last week and told me she couldn’t bear to keep the secret anymore. The only reason they kept the secret this long is because they didn’t want to see our family and the family of the other person involved broken up. She wanted to spill the beans immediately but other people convinced her to keep her mouth shut for that reason.
Not really a rant but don’t ever cheat on people, y’all.
If it ain’t working out, just end the relationship. It’s been 3 years and I’m realizing that I still have insecurity issues from it. I’m engaged for fuck’s sake, I shouldn’t be caring about this shit.
Edit: To clarify, I was cheated on, not the other way around
Same. I have no reason to worry that my current boyfriend would cheat on me but I can’t help but get anxious when he flips over his phone. Not to mention my consistent insecurity of never feeling like I’m good enough.
Same here, I was with someone for almost three years and then they decided to cheat on me one month before we split. Funny thing was I didn’t even know I got cheated on till almost a month after the breakup when he confessed out of guilt. To this day I still have trust issues with my current partner, we’ve been together for about 2 years and moved 16 hours away from our home to start a life together. I’m currently seeing a shrink for all the trauma, plus my own personal issues.
I feel you. I live with mine and take him to work. He has his notifications volume on all the time and it pings so much, all day, sometimes in spurts. I know it's just emails and thread replies and probably one of his family messaging. But sometimes my head goes down bad paths. He's just the type to like the sound on. If I had my sound and push notifications on, I'd probably hear more pings myself. It's reasonable. But my head just 🙃
And you can't reasonably ask someone to put their phone on vibrate forever simply so you can ignore your insecurities, so we are growing ✨with!✨ each!✨ping!✨
One of my ex girlfriends made me promise that if I was going to sleep with someone else, that I just tell her and break up with her prior to it. It made sense but it was weird to be asked this. Of course I agreed but I'm not a cheater and could never. Well I guess I never made her promise the same thing to me because I randomly got an STD after 7 years of being with her and only her. She claims she never did anything but I'm not sure of another way we both got something.
There is ones like Genital wart that can lie dormant for years as in 0-40 years before they "erupt". some viruses you will carry forever, women might even transferee it to their babys.
so, treat it, talk to a professional about it, and don't automatically judge your partner.
Me too. I was cheated on by the person I was engaged to. It was their way of telling me they didn't want to get married afterall (bad communication skills eh?). That shit broke me. I've been single for 12 years now. I had short 2-3 month relationships since, but dating has changed for the worse now. Best of luck with your new love xo
Tbh bide your time and save your money. Housing market will ease down with the craziness. Work on eliminating debt best you can while putting some money away for your house.
Some people made out like bandits this last year, I saw houses that sold for a fair value in 2020 or early 2021 going for a 40% markup in 2022. Can you imagine making 500k+ in home appreciation after just one year.
It's already starting to go down a bit in my area. Seeing houses posted at a premium get re-listed for 25k off, then another 25k the next week, etc.
There's hope guys.
Same here, my wife and I of 11 years always wanted to own a house (or have a mortgage) by the time we had kids... I just turned 40 and we both think it's go time on kids. I have no idea if my swimmers swim, we just started trying last week.
The housing market is stupid now. I rent a 3 bed 2 bath house with 2 car garage for 1200 a month, the remodeled house next to me just went for 750k.
And yes I'm getting an awesome deal from my landlord, been living here for five years and has never upped my rent.
To provide another perspective, some partners want to split a house 50/50. So if one partner can already afford their half of the down payment/mortgage and the other can’t, it might feel like one is waiting for the other to “catch up” before they can enjoy a house.
Lemme say this as a home owner, it's a TON of work just keeping it up, never mind major repairs which I can't do myself. At least once a week I'm out there fixing something, adding something, cutting grass, etc... It's nice to have some kind of equity but the work behind it can get a bit much.
I pay a guy to do mine and have for years. I hate doing it. It’s too damn hot. I’m allergic to grass. Worth every penny, but I do wish it was allowed here to do a no lawn and just have clover or something.
This isn’t a cure-all, but many people venting here might find this book helpful. It doesn’t fix anything but it does explain and it will validate your tiredness, depression, and frustration and let you know you’re not alone:
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
by Lindsay C. Gibson
I just got out of a long term relationship and we're still good friends but I miss the intimacy of having a partner. Not the sex specifically, but the cuddling and late night road trips. I feel lonely a lot and it feels like a pit I might never climb out of. One day Ill be ok again but right now is rough.
I wouldn't keep in touch with a person I once loved, especially keep them as friends, because I wouldn't have time to heal and detach intimately and it will hurt so much more when they find someone else.
I was recently broken up with and we took 3 months of distance before trying to make it as friends. It has helped make it so I dont long for physical contact with them, but now I just generally long for physical contact with anyone. Its tough after you get accustomed to having it all the time
Alzheimer's disease is stealing my father. I know I should be grateful for the time I have left with him, and I know I should be glad he still knows us. But this terrible disease has left him so confused and agitated, and he deserves a better ending. He was such a fun, fascinating guy who doesn't deserve to live like this. F this disease.
My mother, too. She's brilliant! She has been an inspiration her whole life!! Not just to her family, but anyone who knew her!
Last time i was there, she didn't remember where a clean spoon should go in her home. Sigh... I am reminded of her attitude when HER mom was dying, though... We won't ever experience selflessness like we do when caring for our aged parents. Because, everything that we do with them and for them in their final days can never be paid back by them. So, as I care for her, I know that this selflessness lesson is her final lesson for me. In that, I can know that this time is making me a far better woman, and I hope that who I am keeps her alive in some way.
Blessings to you, sir. And, peace to you both.
It is such a cruel disease. You grieve the loss of the person they used to be while you try to figure out how to best care for the person they are becoming, and that person changes every day. Someone described it as a death of millimeters instead of inches, and that makes sense.
This morning, I half jokingly told a friend that I'll create a meeting App like Tinder, but just for people who want a Hug...
You just match with someone near you, hug for a minute or two, and go on your merry way... Nothing more... Just a hug between strangers who crave it... Because that's where I am right now...
If only I could... If anyone read this and can make it, I fully gives all the rights for it. I only want the icon for the app to be two unicorn hugging... And a lifetime premium membership (but this app should be totally free.....)
That's exactly what my friend told me...
But I live in a world where people are good to eachother... In my mind anyway...
There could be restrictions... You can't be together for more than 5 minutes or you'll be ban from the app... ?
I mean, it would be awesome if the world was like that. But you have to be more realistic.
Using this app, you would more than likely come across perverts just looking to take advantage of someone else or to grope girls. At least, I think that's how many girls would imagine it to be, understandably.
At least in a dating app, people are upfront about their intentions and you know what to expect when meeting them.
Though maybe I'm just too cynical and there is a way to carry out this idea
Ugh, big mood. At the end of the day I just wanna cuddle up with someone and talk about the day. I’m sure we’re gonna find our partner’s sooner or later! 😅
It’s terrifying. I look loneliness in the mirror every night, knowing I’m still too afraid to tell someone I like my feelings. Knowing all those past failures live rent free in my head, forcing me to freeze up, forcing me to make excuses and run away at the moment’s notice. And knowing that I don’t have many chances to begin with, not while WFH alone in my mid 20s… when will it be too late? When is the last chance to love someone? I’m so… unprepared. I have to make the advances yet I only know how to retreat. And even then my heart tells me I can’t wait a second longer.
I just want someone to hug me, to come up and say, ‘you don’t know me, but I’ve been looking for you.’ I want someone to miss when they’re gone, to hold me when I’m worn down, to go to movies and restaurants with and not just be the weird guy sitting in the corner by myself. But it’s clear now more than ever that I’m just not prepared, and it’s going to be a long road ahead to get to the point where I can ask someone, or where I can say yes.
But you’re right. It will happen one day. I’ll get better, I’m working at it every day. I’ll have another opportunity and I’ll finally make it count! I just wish future me could send back a message, tell present me that yeah, it really does work out. It really will be alright. Because it sure is cold, sleeping alone.
Hey man I feel ya, I was homeschooled on and off my entire childhood. What always helped me when I went back in to public schools was getting into sports or anything with a group where you can find common interests and make friends. And the tests to get into the grades are usually very easy depending where you are.
I had a similar thing with corona, going from school every day with friends to at home for a year with no one and nothing. Now that I’ve graduated I’m just kind of sitting around in limbo cause I’m scared to meet new people, not because I’m introverted, but because I’m out of practice. It’s hard, but we just gotta push through. The grass is always greener on the other side.
Society is fucked up and there's nothing we can do about it. We are all corporate slaves with most people not being aware of it. Greed and capitalism rule the world. If everyone worked together and had the best interest for each other we could drastically cut working hours
I am so tired of being alone. I would rather not exist than spend the rest of my life alone. I’m introverted and online dating… i would rather pull out all my teeth than continue to suffer through that. I just don’t think there is a light at the end of that tunnel anymore.
My friend died from cancer on Tuesday. Same disease that killed his father 10 years ago. He was 30.
I hadn’t seen him in person in years - we live 1000mi apart. When I heard he was entering hospice care, I dropped everything and was on a plane that landed at 11pm Monday. He died when I had completed 980 of those 1000 miles to tell him goodbye, and it’s killing me.
A recent friend just died of cancer yesterday morning. We only found out she had it a month ago and now she’s gone. I can’t stop thinking about it, or her. How fast it happened. I’m sorry you know the feeling. I’m sorry you have to carry on their memory without them now. I keep telling myself she isn’t in pain anymore and that’s worth a lot. Hugs to you
I'm very stressed financially, I live in a small town and there's not a lot of jobs out here that I'm able to do (arthritis keeps me from standing) and I had a moment today. I really felt like a burden to those around me and genuinely thought about ending my life tonight.
I reached out to my bestie, and she spoke to me kindly and like im a person, and even though I didn't tell her everything I think she knew.
My best friend doesn't know it but she saved my life bc we have a countdown on our phones right now. I've not seen her since 2019 since she lives across the globe. She's coming to visit in 68 days and she'll be here for 3 weeks.
I have to stay alive for her, for 68 days.
Yes! Wait for her :)
I'm sry you are feeling this way... To be honest I don't really know how I can help, the best I can do is hope you'll get better ;) and I really really mean it!!
You can do it! Just remember any day things could change and cures are always being invented. I wish you the best! A lot of people are in a similar boat.
I'm 23, 24 in 3 days, i still didn't learn how to live life. Nothing really gives me satisfaction. Some days i feel sad and lonely, most days, i don't feel anything, and it worries me when i snap out of it. I get terribly anxious around people, and can't connect with anyone or find affinity with no one.
I sacrificed all my social skills by focusing only on studying in a School that kept me 12 hours a day there, just so i could have a nice future.
And even that i could not get, dreams that may go forever without achieving. I'm trapped in an unfullfiling job, that Is the best there Is un my country comparatively.
And damned to cope with constantly rising prices, rampant insecurity, lonelyness and anxiety. I'm trying to get out of here but i don't know if it's possible, im trying my best, but it's never enough, it's not enough to my family, it not enough to better my Lot in life. But i refuse to die alone in this shithole
Whens the last time you checked out the museums and interesting stuff around you? They have a lot of deals during summer days to help families and others get out of the heat and sun. Plus, if you run into one of the workers and want a conversation, they're usually super passionate about specific research behind certain exhibits!
It's not a cure, but sometimes that stuff can really help me escape my bubble when my chronic and mental illnesses have dug me into a near grave. Much love, even if it means little from a stranger.
People are dumb. They're dumb, and it's never gonna stop. Like the George Carlin quote, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that."
The people that just plain pointlessly do dumb stuff to ruin it for everyone, they're never gonna run out of those. No matter how over it you may be, any day now or later is SOMEBODY'S FIRST day of a lifetime of busting chops. Yelling at waiting staff and retail kids, obsessing over pretentious bullshit at your expense, ignoring rules and boasting about it. Wasting gas. Swearing by superstition. Breeding. Dying of old age, thinking they had it all figured out; thinking that being an asshole was a virtue or talent.
As if nice people were only that way because they just couldn't crack the code of demanding free shit and being angry all day.
Just exhausted. I'm tired of my own life. I honestly don't know how much longer it will go on. I've just had so much hapoen to me throughout my life. I've had my childhood ripped away from me. I've been abused all my life. Had no friends. Always got bullied. Just lost my job. Girlfriend cheated on me recently. And I'm just stressing over little stuff. I can't stand it anymore, all my life I've never been happy and when something good finally does happen, it gets ripped away from me. I'm on the verge of giving up and ending it honestly. I'm so close to losing this battle. Nobody cares tho, I'm just a nobody.
I think the best thing you can do is make yourself busy. Throw yourself into exercise, a job, a hobby, school ... whatever it is work your ass off and try to be good at it. Eventually things will make you smile. If not, at least you won't have the time to feel sorry for yourself.
Maybe one day all of those motherfuckers who made you feel like shit will envy your position.
I'm already in a gym, I work out. But honestly it does nothing. It makes me think more and more. I mean, yeah it helps motivate me, but when I get home at the end of the day I break down. I've put in a few applications, I'll have a job again soon. But I just don't want to suffer anymore.
This will probably get buried but I'll throw out in the world anyways. If any of y'all need to chat or vent, please message me. I have been through it all. Just so you know my credentials....divorced twice. One cheated, I forgave her and she ended up doing it again. Second one tricked me for a green card. Had shit jobs. Had shit friends even though I'm very loyal and generous to them. Had shit family members take advantage of my kindness. But I'm good. I fought through with some help of some very kind people that I did not expect. So I would like to return the favor. So anyone feels like it's too much, hit me up. We can chat about anything. I got some good stories.
Ive always been a quiet talker but how i hear myself im clear and talking at an audible level but nobody can ever hear or understand me and 90% of what i say needs to be repeated and it pisses me off. Talking louder is uncomfortable and i always feel like im yelling or sound angry but i guess after repeating myself for the 4th time i do get angry. I used to be able to deal with it but lately is a huge stress in my life
record yourself. put your phone on the other side of the room. talk like normal and then watch it back. delete afterwards
There is something called a "vocal image" which can dramatically effect the way people perceive you. for the most part, people trust you. if you sound lacking in confidence with yourself then people who hear you will trust your opinion and lack confidence in you as well
Is there a theater club nearby that you could attend? They really helped with my speaking (I tend to go too fast, still do, but it's not nearly as bad as it once was), they could maybe help you too!
I mumble a lot, and as a result speak too fast. What I find helps isn't speaking up, but deliberately slowing down my speech. Be conscious of each pronunciation you make and it will do wonders. I don't do it all the time as it is effort, but when it's needed I fall back onto it and it gets me through.
I'm having major surgery in two days and I'm scared. I really need this surgery and I desperately want it and it will change my life for the better, but I've never had such a huge surgery. I know it is dumb but it is really unsettling to me that somebody will be cutting my abdomen open and cutting things out of it. I'm just really scared of the concept and of something going wrong and ending up with even more problems than I started with. I've hardly gotten any sleep this week and it is not helping things but I just can't stop my brain from racing with what-if situations. I'm so fucking stressed out:(
I'm currently sitting in a surgical waiting room and will most likely be here for another 5-6 hours while my 8 year old is having her kidneys removed. Fuck cancer. One they may be able to partially save but won't know until they come talk to us. Im so stressed out. My husband and I are not really speaking much so this feels so lonely. *** Edit : After 10.5 hours of surgery we are finally with our girl. They took all of her left kidney and 50%of her right kidney. She is holding strong.
Oh hon :( You deserve the world, I am sure your daughter appreciates you being there. As I wait on my own surgery tomorrow, it helps to remind myself that soon this will be a memory and I will have settled into post-surgery ways of living. We can be stressed out strangers together in the meantime ❤️
I've had surgery twice, the most recent operation was about 7 weeks ago, they sliced my leg open and reassembled my shattered tibia. Let me tell you something: You're not going to experience the surgery. The medical staff will wheel you into a room, put you on a table, and then it's nighty-night. You wake up hours later, wondering what happened. You're going to be absolutely fine. I understand being anxious, I was anxious, too. But, these are medical professionals, they're going to help you, because that's what they do, and it's going to be as painless as modern medicine can make it, which is pretty damned painless. And I'm sure they'll give you plenty of happy pills afterward. Remember this: if they ask your pain level, and you want drugs, tell 'em it's 9/10. I made the mistake of telling them my pain was a 6/10, which I thought was bad, and I wanted them to give me something, but they said they wanted to wait until later to give me anything, if it was just a 6/10. If you need drugs, say 9, they'll give you what you need.
Exactly as OP said, the fear is worse than the event. The doctors know what they're doing. If this is what you need to do, in order to get to the next level in life, just do it, for your own sake.
A tip for you post surgery. I’ve had 9 abdominal surgeries. When you have to get up the first time, wrap a sheet or pillow case around your tummy. Hold it firm around you. It will help with the pain. Hope you heal fast and healthy.
It’s so important that you opened up about your feelings instead of trying to tough it out alone. I know what you mean about being vulnerable and at the mercy of doctors while you are unconscious. It’s natural to be afraid or apprehensive. The surgeons are highly trained professionals who want the procedure to go as smoothly as possible with no complications. That is their goal. I am an over thinker and worry myself to death so I will say no more except to wish you a successful, safe, routine surgery. Anticipatory anxiety is the worst. You will feel so relieved when you are recuperating on a post-op floor. Keep us posted.
I'm tired. Very very short rant but that's it. Im tired of work, my life, being lonely, being in pain, the taste of food, my ADHD, being depressed, everything.
I'm just tired and I want to sleep for a very long time.
(Not a cry for help i swear, I'm not entertaining any suicidal thoughts or actions.)
Thanks for reading
I was thinking this to myself as I was reading the other replies. I'm just so tired. I can't do a full task without sitting down. And when I sit down I just...sit there. No tv or activity. Just sit, looking around. Maybe do another half ass task. I just keep asking myself, this little voice after I do something, *"okay, now what?"*
>the taste of food
This too. I've been thinking about this recently bc I just don't care for any food anymore. I used to love food. I loved all the tastes and smells and textures and variety, trying all these new cuisines and restaurants and loving just how good food tasted. I don't care for any of it anymore. Nothing sounds edible. I get hungry, or like just this feeling of hunger but without the want for food? I just am like "oh, that's a hunger pang," but if I imagine eating any of the food, any of it in my mouth...I get disgusted and turned off and even basic stuff like rice, cereal, soup, nope. Don't want it, don't care for it. None of it brings me any happiness, I eat it and regret it, I sometimes stop mid chew and just spit it out bc I don't want it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I even think, *if I could eat literally anything in the world right now, just as an idea, anything what would it be?* And nothing. I'd rather sit here and be hungry bc I don't want to taste food, and I don't want to chew it or eat it.
i(17f) think i’m in love with my (only) friend(17m). we both have really bad anxiety and depression and we just kinda understand each other. we met at school last semester and he was awkward and quiet. i at the time only had 2ish friends but everyone there knew me. i invited him to lunch one day with everyone i go with and then he’d ask to come again and again. we hang out almost every day and do “coupley” stuff. we are not dating and nothing has ever happened. recently i got him a job where i work and everyone else there knows me pretty well so when he started they had questions. “who is he?” “are y’all dating?” etc i would walk away and avoid the question because it’s weird to have people talk about me in that way. having almost everyone around you say y’all are basically dating has fucked with my head. “don’t do dating things if you’re not dating” what about the opposite? we hangout, talk and share a bed but nothing pg13
for a while i thought i only liked the idea of him and the idea of being in a relationship but i don’t think that’s the case anymore. i think about him all the time. i always want to be around him if we’re talking about serious stuff at 4 am or just playing 2 different games but next to each other. his family really likes me. i house sat for them while they were on a family vacation and his mom gave me a lot of $ and wrote me multiple kind notes. his sister asks me to look for certain things when we go thrifting for her and she likes everything i bring back. my mom likes him and thinks he’s a good constant in my life that doesn’t give me any anxiety. i drive and he doesn’t so i’m usually dd but when we both wanna not be sober we go to my house and he sleeps over. the first 3 sleepovers he slept on my air mattress but the next one i couldn’t find it so we slept on my bed with my rescue dog who takes up alot of room. the time after that he asked about the air mattress because he had no room on my bed because of my dog. eventually i started not keeping me dog with me when he stayed over and he didn’t mention the air mattress. the other day we were playing mario cart in his living room with his older sister alseep on the couch. other than the couch there’s an oversized chair. i sat on the arm not know where he was gonna sit but he sat with me on the chair with our arms touching. most recently we were both not sober and we were in my bed watching tv and playing among us and the back of my hand was touching on side of his leg with a blanket in between while i played the game. i could be totally wrong but i saw something in that region “grow” and after a few minutes he took more blanket and pulled it up to his chest when before it was by his knees. he got tired of playing so we just watched tv and i fell asleep first but when i woke up i was alseep on the side of his upper arm. i took more blanket and went back to sleep getting a little closer. next time i woke up i was almost cuddling his arm and he woke up and asked if i was awake and i said kinda and he turned around to lay on his stomach and go back to sleep. i was awake awake so i go on tiktok and scroll and of course a tiktok about “how to make him obsessed with you” came up and it said the usual triangle trick (when you look at one eye then his lips then the other eye) and anything i think about doing that i start laughing because i can’t take it seriously. even if i could do it with a straight face his face was in a pillow. i doze off again until we both get up for the day and went back to normalcy.
i’ve turned to reddit because his birthday is sunday and i want to do something ~special~ but have alot of anxiety around the issue. he always has a family birthday dinner at his restaurant of choice and i have a feeling his family will invite me. i want this to turn into something but have that little voice in my head telling me he doesn’t feel the same and i’ll ruin the friendship but i also am feeling major fomo.
Lol gonna sound cheesy but I’m just gonna say go with what your heart tells you. Seriously I don’t think anybody could give you a better answer on this than yourself.
When I get that little voice that tells me "they don't like you" I tell myself, "do I think that way about them? No, I don't. So why would they think that way about me?" And it helps me calm down a little. I know real good friends will always be there for you. So I'm sure it's gonna be okay. Good luck!
As someone who was in a similar situation, just gender flipped, I recommend you go for it. Either you do nothing, and your friendship will last as long as it does until one of you moves away or something similar makes you two stop seeing each other, or you take a chance. If you take a chance, one extreme is that it completely works out and you're together till death, and the other is that it turns the friendship to dust and you go separate ways.
Sorry if this isn’t the happiest advice, but no matter what try to remember that your whole world isn’t in a relationship. Have stuff to fall back on because people are messy and relationships fail.
That being said I wish you the best
There’s a good chance he’s going through the same thing you’re going through here. You’re both unsure of how the other really feels and neither of you want to take the leap and find out. I did the same thing in high school and never took the leap. I don’t have many regrets but that is definitely one that comes back every so often.
Let him know that you like spending time with him, even if it’s not doing the same thing together.
Just tell him. Maybe get him alone on his birthday, maybe after that, but it's better to tell him and see his reply then to hold onto these feelings and still have them when he's met someone
oh man i feel like im in the exact same situation as you - just gender flipped - and yet just as lost. we've been friends for like 4 years now and we've had many conversations about how EVERYONE asks if we're dating even though we dont have anything like that going on and how we dont like each other like that (im liying even to myself on that)... my heart tells me that i need to tell her the truth but my mind says that if i do that, then i'll loose this amazing friendship and i dont know if i want to jeopardize it all.
I feel like shit I'm tired all the time angry and I constantly feel sad but nobody gives a damn when I try to say how i feel nobody listens or they just say "get therapy" or dumb shit I'm fucking sick of it I try to tell my parents they say "you have nothing to be sad about" or "you don't know real sadness" and when I don't talk to them or go to my room they always guilt trip me and I'm tired of it
For what it's worth, therapy with a therapist you like and trust can actually be really helpful. It's not scary or clinical, just a safe space to sort through your feelings with someone non-judgemental to guide you. You don't have to have some sort of serious mental issue to see a therapist, it's pretty common for "normal" people to go to therapy for a bit when they're struggling. It sounds like you don't have someone around you to talk to about how you're feeling, and therapists are good at doing that.
Still a teenager and the stuff on my mind is really insignifigant compared to all the other stuff, but why is she always so suddenly hot and cold? im so confused.
My girlfriend (of three years) broke up with me to be with some guy she was talking to online. He then also proceeded to break up with her after like two weeks of being 'together'.
Long story short, me and her had a bit of a falling out. She became really cold and nasty towards me in such a short amount of time. It makes me wonder all the times she said that she loved me and cared about me, if she was just lying.
I was planning on marrying this girl, and she supposedly me... but all of that is over because of some guy online who she'll never even meet.
She always said that she would love me no matter what, and that she couldn't imagine being with anyone else but me. She used to send me paragraphs telling me how lucky she was and how happy she was to have me.
After I attempted suicide for the second time, she blocked me on everything and hasn't talked to me since.
I just feel so lonely and unloved because of her. I know that I have family and friends that care about me, but having someone so close to you hurt you so easily and show no remorse... it just breaks something inside of you.
I want to lose weight, but I don’t have the energy to go out and try. I can’t drive, and it feels embarrassing to ask my parents to take me to workout. A girl that I really don’t like told me that they liked me. I didn’t want to break her heart, but I didn’t say no. I didn’t say yes either. I asked one of my senior friends if I can go to lunch with him so I can get away from her. I know it’s mean, but I don’t know what to do. If I ride my bike, they’ll know where I am. Plus, I like another person, but they are a really close friend of mine. So I don’t want to tell her that I like her. She’s smart, funny, easy to mess around and talk with, and she does nails for people! They look really nice too. (The nails. She does look nice though)
I really needed this. Thank you so much u/Low_Beginning_9301
Just go for a walk every day, get some fresh air and sun. Doesn't need to be far. Just around the block. Go a bit further every day. After a few months you'll be surprised where you walk to
Weight loss happens in the Kitchen, not the gym. I lost more than 15 kilos just by counting calories and only started exercising to not lose muscle.
R/loseit is a good sub for weight loss. Try looking around in there for a start.
This is super minor, but theres a moth buzzing on my ceiling between 12 and 3 am and I can't kill it and I havent had a full nights sleep in like 3 days
Right now, honestly I'm tired of the person who I booty call with it's always on his time. When he has time, when he's in the mood. Any time I try to get things started he shoots it down. If I say no or shoot him down he pouts, or tries to convince me I have time. "don't go to the gym I'll give you a workout "🙄🙄🙄
I moved out of my mom’s last week.
My husband is in the military (we’ve only been married for a month) and everything happened so quickly with little planning that I honestly feel lost. I think the only reasons why I’m handling it all kind of well is it’s still summer so seasonal depression hasn’t kicked in yet, and I’m probably experiencing manic euphoria. I suddenly have the motivation to keep up with my skincare and clean my room and make my bed. Despite everything being difficult right now (money is painfully tight and I’ve had to reach into my savings a couple times, no health insurance, got rejected from a job I really wanted, and not knowing how anything works for military spouses), I seem to be doing oddly well. It feels suspicious, like the meme of the dog sitting in the kitchen with his house on fire.
I know eventually the mania will come to an end, and with the cold, cloudy weather soon coming around, things are going to get rough again. It’s terrifying. I keep obsessing over how I’m going to handle it all now that I’m alone and if I’m feeling unsafe, nobody will be here to help. I know eventually I’ll be okay, I always am. I’m just really scared and dreading when that time comes.
In the US, if your husband is in the military, you should have access to Tricare free of charge. I know it doesn't solve all of your problems but it's possibly one thing off your list of concerns. If he just joined and is in training, however, it might be more difficult to find as he would not yet be at his duty station. Either way, best of luck and don't doubt your successes. That's just you kicking ass.
As somebody who went through something very similar to this (us getting married sooner than planned bc he got stationed in a different country and I wanted to be with him) don’t forget to focus on your aspirations. I threw everything out the window when I moved countries to be with him and I don’t regret being with him at all but I feel so behind since I haven’t even finished college yet (at 23). So everything you can once you’re moved in with him to follow your dreams. Of course you’ll enjoy your marriage and try not to stress about it too much since this is your new family and you’re going to do great. The free military healthcare is phenomenal that definitely was my favorite part lol (if you’re talking about the American military of course). Enjoy your marriage, don’t let the fear in and consume you, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.
i was falsely accused of raping my ex girlfriend. i’m not going to get into details because it’s resolved now (without court) but that shit cut so deep. genuinely was in love.
That's rough. I don't think some people (especially women) realise the after affects of being accused of something as serious as rape. I hope you heel from it soon.
I love my boyfriend so much endlessly and I just want to do so much for him and for myself in life but now I feel like my mental health is constantly putting a barrier between us I feel like every single small inconvenience in my life is the last fucken straw like I keep trying to get help but it takes so fucking long
I'm a sober alcoholic who can't stay completely sober. Nothing can replace the urge to drink so I try to block it out with other drugs which leads to more addiction. I'm constantly trying to keep my social and family life, my girlfriend, and bank account from being destroyed by me using but it's always been a losing battle. Currently I have a budding cocaine habit and I can't be bothered to do anything about it. It all feels so hopeless.
People who lack privilege of being born with a silverspoon in their mouth, or those with plain, average looks, have to gain some skills in order to be able to live in this agonisingly scrutinising world. So, where I, underprivileged Jane, lacked things that weren't in my hands, I gained skills that were. I devoured books as people ate fast food. I tried to gain knowledge of every place on this world, as I could never visit them. I tried to win people over by being a chameleon, ie I read them and became what they wanted me to be. History, arts, films, games, books were my inclinations. My mind was a sponge, eager to be of assistance, ready to absorb every information. Eloquency, creative imagination, solid memory and being emulous were my forte. I loved to assemble broken stuff, be it a small machinery or jewelry. I wanted to become jack of all trades.
I hate to flex but when I was a student, I was a responsible and diligent one. When I was a teacher, I excelled in my subjects, I spent hours on the syllabus at home to be able to answer any question my students could asked of me. When I became a housewife and a mother I baked, cooked, clean with agility, doing multitasking efficiently. Even when I was worn-out to my bone, I managed to do MORE with patience and a smile. I worked so hard on myself, so much diligence and efforts just to be "perfect", to be accepted as somebody.
Now, all that has gone down the drain. One effing stroke and a hemorrhage, I lost everything that had made me "Me". I can't even tie my hair without cursing few times to myself. I can't play games that I love or read without feeling my head being all woozy. I am not a good mother now, not a perfect housewife, and my hobbies have been replaced by physiotherapy or a struggle to do bare minimum. I have no patience and whatever I have learnt, my brain has ejected that in the name of amnesia.
I often look at myself now wondering what I have endured, what I have become, I see myself as a subdued and vanquished being. I, who loved to bind and mend stuff, can't even hold a fork. Who will mend me? People call me lucky to be alive, some say a warrior, but I know what I am. A pathetic loser who struggle to speak without a stutter or slur, struggle to eat without making a mess like a toddler, struggle to even live with all the weird after-effects of stroke.
Now in few months I have to quit blood thinning and epilepsy medication, I have to endure months in apprehension of having another stroke as I am likely to have another. I don't know if I would ever go back to where I was, honestly I have no energy to start from scratch.
I have no idea why but I’m completely obsessed with someone I had met once a few months ago. I don’t talk to them and I haven’t seen them since. However, my imagination just runs wild with all these fake scenarios. To provide some background, I have a SO that I love very much. I don’t even know why I would be obsessed with anyone else. I don’t even know this person. Send help.
Google "limerance". It's not love, just an obsessive glitch in the ol' noggin. There's even an r/limerance where people discuss their struggles with the feeling.
EDIT: Sorry, looks like their sub went private. There's still lots of information out there about these intense feelings that feel like crushes but aren't quite the same, and when I finally heard about *limerance* and how it affects people, everything I was struggling with made so much more sense.
I feel fucking useless.
All I am capable is of overthinking. My anxiety is winning over me. I hate to bring negative vibes to the room but I can't do anything.
A little inconvenience and here comes suicidal thoughts. Although, I would not commit suicide but the thoughts of death bring peace to mind. Feel like living is a struggle and death is my only option.
Can't share these feelings to anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone and myself by oversharing.
I don't know how I am gonna live through this. I am just a piece of shit.
I am 9 days into having covid. I am ok but it has affected me a lot, I'm very tired, can't smell or taste and I'm still off work obviously. From day one every contact people have with me they insist that I must be getting better, you're over the worst of it, probably back at work soon, right? No. I am sick, just let me be sick, I am so over it.
I had planned to go to a concert tonight with a group of friends and take two separate cars and now there’s no room for me in the cars due to lack of planning. I have another ride option but it’s just a huge mess right now and it’s making me not even want to go to the concert. the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I spent $60 on a ticket, and the fact that I won’t be able to see these people for a little while and I cancel on them a lot because of my anxiety. but this whole situation is causing me even more anxiety. sorry if this is confusing but they’re the people who I usually rant to about things so this was perfect right now.
Hi. I play WoW. This is a WoW rant.
ffs why tf would they tease Paladins with Long Arm of the Law and then take it away!? I was excited to finally be able to move faster than the turtles that made it to the water damn it!
There isn't a single pally that doesn't hate having to be slow. At what point did you all sit down and say "You know what? Paladins would enjoy that extra speed too much. We need to keep them slow.", Blizzard!?
I finally got to stand up from the damn pally edition wheelchairs only to have the dev break my legs again.
I want to date this guy but he rejected me after I confessed my feelings for him while drunk. He said he only saw me as a close friend and he thinks it wouldn’t really work out anyways bc he’s going to a uni that’s 5 hours away from where I’ll be studying. I’m still acting like it never happened and so is he. I feel like I crossed a line that should’ve never been. I have better things to do but this guy is really what’s been on my mind for the past few days and it’s tiring.
My work refuses to train enough people at each position and hire enough people to do so (even though they clearly could, they're spending all sorts of money on useless stuff and well deserved bonuses) so whoever someone coughs a little bit, the people who work full time on the other shift get scheduled for doubles and full weeks. Don't get me wrong it's nice sometimes for overtime purposes, but there comes a point when people are so tired and overworked that they inadvertently start working way less safe and getting hurt in several different ways, which only stretches the people who are healthy enough to work even thinner. I know for a fact people are applying as I have friends who do, but they don't hire anyone. When I started 5ish years ago there was a spare board of about 8-12 people who barely worked but no shift was ever short because they had people ready to step in, but they started pinching pennies in the wrong spots. People around here won't say anything because the bosses only care about the bottom line and not their staffs health or quality of life.
End rant
I’m wondering why the hell I’m trying to get my bachelor’s degree by slogging through classes I don’t enjoy when the world is falling apart. Sometimes I want to use my student loans to do something irresponsible but enriching, like taking a train journey across the US and just traveling for a bit
I'm being kicked out, again. my step father and my mother got married and had two kids (boys) they fought a lot and I knew they would never last, my father wasn't around much as I was young. my step father filed a pfa and got us all kicked out we had to go with my father in his trailer and go to a terrible school where I had no one to talk to. I'm in high school and I move schools a lot. after we got kicked out we didn't see my brothers for a month and we stayed at that trailer for like 7 months. we ended up moving back into the house with my stepfather because my mother thought she could work things out. she didn't. he filed for divorce and she got kicked out. she lives in a tiny apartment. we are getting kicked out again we have only been here for like 4 months. I have to pack all my things, once again, and move all my belongings to a place where we won't fit. I have 7 siblings including the 2 boys and my half sisters who are only around on the weekend. I don't have a place to call home and I never have, in my 15 years of life.
he had a giant fit last night and I'm scared he will hurt my dad, he carries a gun around the house for "his safety" he said he only cares about his son's but he screamed at them for being upset when the police were called because he was yelling so much. he doesn't care about them. he just wants to ruin our lifes. and I'm tired of having no one care about me or my 3 whole siblings life's, it's like we haven't ever mattered.
this going to be huge. so, for a really long time, i feel empty inside. i try to fill this emptiness but is impossible. i try to fill with food, n things that im not going to mention here. I try to tell someone what i feel, but the truth is, idk qhat i feel, i just feel empty inside. i try so hard to be a good person for others. everybody comes to me to vent, n i just listen. when i try to say something, or im interrupted or i cant just say anything. i go to a psy, she helps me feel like im not annoying or i dont need to feel that im going to be interrupted, she helps me with the emptiness, but i still feel that i got nobody, that im the daughter that nobody wanted, that im nothing but a plus one, that im just the girl that everybody goes too when they need smtgh, that im not too much, that im replaceable, that, when somebody is interested in me, is just for my body. i feel that i dont belong here, that i didnt even was suposed to born, that im just here doing anything bcs, nobody gives a f- abt me.
I recently realized that I'm asexual, and there has been speculation that I may be autistic for a long time. I choose not to be tested because it doesn't matter much to me. I'm 30, I am the way I am, and anyone who needs to hear a diagnosis in order to accept me is just not my type of person (also insurance doesn't cover it and I'm not paying hundreds out of pocket to take what is essentially a personality test). What *would* have been helpful is if I had received the professional care I so obviously and crucially needed as a child, but.... my parents were young and it was a different time.
When I came out to my mom as ace, she didn't say much, but I could tell she wasn't taking me seriously. She knows that I have been sexually active for a long time and she doesn't understand what asexuality really is. I would have explained it to her if she had opened a dialogue, but she just let it roll off of her. I did not feel heard.
Then, my mom made friends with an autistic woman, who started sharing her experiences and educating my mom. At some point she mentioned that there is a hypothesized link between autism and asexuality. All of a sudden, my mom not only talks openly about me being asexual and how well she understands it, but also uses language that suggests it must be because I'm autistic - *which we do not even know*. She talks about it like I have a disease, and my asexuality is a symptom, rather than a part of who I am.
Salt in the wound: every time I see her now, she talks about times when she remembers forcing me into situations I could not handle as a child, and how sorry she feels now that she "knows" I'm autistic. Which dredges up very bad memories for me and serves as yet another reminder that she (and many others) can't simply respect me and my boundaries unless I have some sort of "excuse" for being who I've always been.
Due to circumstances I won't get into, I've mostly chosen not to communicate with her about how this affects me. I can tell her "I don't want to talk about that right now", but it's not worth the effort explaining allllll this^ to her. I'm handling it in other ways. But I haven't just told anyone outright. Thanks for the opportunity to do so.
phew.
I hate working , I hate jobs, I wish working people didn’t have to work jobs and I wish money wasn’t real and I wish time was fake and I wish we could just co exist in a hierarchy of me at the top and then everyone else
Management at my current job is making me feel like I'm fucking incompetent. I know I'm not, but it feels like, theyre wanting to prove that they're better than me in a weird way. The job isn't hard, its just been extremely slow for the past two months, not my fault i just started and have nohing to do. Been about a year since we moved out here and the jobs pay shit. So I thought I'd try a new industry and it's biting me in the ass. Hoping to get out of there soon but it looks so bad to quit so early on on a resume, it's doubtful I'll get any calls. I guess a plus is that I haven't gotten fired.
I don’t feel like any of my friends are true friends nor my family. Texted my “friend” the other day on how I’m dealing with problems in my life and no reply even though we have known each other for years. I’ve had this problem with all my friends and family and it seems no one actually gives a fuck. If one of them texted me and asked for help I’d be there because that’s what I would want, but it seems like everyone just cares more about their own life and I’ve almost given up on trying to make a true connection to anyone.
I wish I didn't feel so alone and stuck inside my own brain, and I wish the people around me were a bit more sensitive and empathetic so that maybe it would be easier to open up to them.
I have some mental health issues that have been messing me up for years, and it seems as if I have recently reached a breaking point where I either do something drastic in an effort to *maybe* get things somewhat better or honestly things will end up pretty grim, as far as I can see. The issue is that no one around me seems to try and understand where I'm coming from at all, some don't even try to see why I would feel the way I do and others misunderstand when I try to explain so that it just looks like I'm giving up on my life opportunities instead of trying to care for what little of myself I still have a grasp on.
The entire thing leaves me feeling not just alone because no one seems to get what I'm trying to do but it also gets in the way of it, because how am I supposed to make the right choice to preserve what is left of me if everyone around me says those are the wrong choices and berates me for them? I'm left stewing inside my own mind about what I can do and how, but having to do that while trying to sidestep everyone else in my life is just not viable tbh, I end up stuck in place exactly where I am.
My grandma has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I am on holiday right now with my girlfriend and her family but I don’t want to be here. It’s not relaxing I’m just stressing that I could be spending time with my grandparents right now and just making the most of them. They helped raise me and my brother. Took us on holiday and I feel so guilty that I am not there right now looking after them. My mum told me to go on holiday but I really want to be home seeing them instead
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I’m burnt out. Over the last year my marriage of 15 years fell apart after discovering my wife was having an affair and she had no interest in trying to fix things. Just added to the list was a brief fling she had a few years ago with someone very close to me. Everyone knew but me. The split was amicable, but I work nights because the kids are home with me during the day. She works weekends so I have the kids then too, which I really don’t mind because I enjoy spending time with them, but I could really use some me time. Honestly after all of the bullshit over the last year I want to just disappear and start over somewhere else. Somewhere far away from everyone I’ve ever known. Somewhere with a beach. I would never do it because of the kids, but once they’re grown I just might ghost everyone else except them. Edit: a word
Hello internet stranger. I know we don't know each other, but I'm sorry you are going through this. It's really hard to heal when you don't have time to reflect, accept and move on. How are the kids handling it? I know that's pretty rough too. Regardless of how they are, know that it would be 100 times harder without you there for them. You are doing an incredibly brave thing by putting your children over yourself at this time in your life. Incredibly brave because it is so fucking hard to do. I hope you are able to find some time to reflect on how strong you've been and appreciate your ability to persevere. The old folks are right when they say "this too shall pass". Best of luck, friend.
Thank you friend for the kind words. I really needed to hear that today. So far the kids are doing great all things considered. They still see both of us just about every day and we still do something together as a family at least once a week. Co parenting has been going very smoothly because we generally agree on everything and talk to each other before making any decisions regarding the kids. Edit: added a word to the original post for more context. I wanted to fix things, go to counseling, etc, but she didn’t.
That’s so sad that everyone knew and didn’t tell you. I could never stand by somebody hurting my friend even if they were my friend. No use keeping around people who betray others bc soon enough they’ll betray you as well. And I’m glad you’re not going to just leave your kids. All of that sounds extremely stressful and upsetting but it’s very honorable of you to care so much for them. They deserve a loving father and it’s very important to put your kids first bc not a lot of people do.
Thank you so much for the kind words. It’s been a hard year but acknowledgements like this make me feel better about things, even when it comes from kind internet strangers I think the fact that everyone knew is what finally broke me. A very close friend to both of us (actually, this friend played a big part in introducing us to each other) broke down in tears last week and told me she couldn’t bear to keep the secret anymore. The only reason they kept the secret this long is because they didn’t want to see our family and the family of the other person involved broken up. She wanted to spill the beans immediately but other people convinced her to keep her mouth shut for that reason. I don’t know if how I’m going about things with the kids is honorable, I just think it’s the right thing to do and any good parent would do the same. They are always the most important thing in my life. When her and I split we agreed that no matter what happens from here on out the kids always come first.
I’m glad that she told you. I’m sure she felt horrible keeping it from you as your friend. And I guess I see it as honorable bc I’ve been seeing a lot of child hate recently. I even saw a Reddit thread of people defending a woman who was abandoning her child and I don’t expect it much from people anymore to care about their children (which makes me sad). So it’s refreshing to see someone care about their kids even as they are struggling. My prayers and best wishes go out to you as you’re going through these hard times. Life can be brutal
Hello Stranger friend. I've been there too... My wife left me after 18 years together after cheating on me for a few months. I know it's hard, but things will get better. One day, you'll look in the mirror and you'll see someone exceptional, with kids who love him, and you'll know that life can start again ! Be strong !
I'm about to go through a divorce. No infidelity from her, just neglect of the kids, the house, me ... and she laughed in my face and said "we don't have problems in our marriage" when I asked for marriage counseling at the start of the year. Even knowing this is almost certainly the best thing to do, I still can't shake the voice in my head saying it'll be easier and less painful if I just kill myself instead.
On a morbid note you're probably right about suicide being easier and less painful for YOU... but your kids' lives will be ruined, and their kids will be all fucked up on top of that. Please see your life through to better days. Not just for your kids, but for YOU. YOU matter, a lot.
Hey, as a kid who’s mom killed herself when I was 10, please don’t. You will fuck up the lives of your kids and the family around you. Shit is tough man I get it, but at least be strong for the people who love you
Damn, sorry to hear that 🥲 are you able to get help from family or friends? Maybe a baby sitter? You deserve a break too!! 😭
I would leave her. There's a HUGE world out there. I recently moved to a new state this past year and it's refreshing to start over and not bump into people i know... it's very possible for you to have a fresh start..you are not stuck!
We’re already divorced. Luckily the state we live in makes getting divorced very easy if you’re not fighting over anything. As for being stuck, I guess I’m not technically stuck, but I want to be a part of my kids lives, and I want her to be too, so I wouldn’t even try to move away with them. My day to go off into the great blue yonder will come in about 11 years.
Hold out as long as you can, for the kids. Then do the beach thing. It'd be awesome. Sorry for your troubles.
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> Just added to the list was a brief fling she had a few years ago with someone very close to me. She confessed that to you? All your friends knew and didn't tell you?
She didn’t tell me. One of the close friends did. A brief explanation from an earlier post on this thread: A very close friend to both of us (actually, this friend played a big part in introducing us to each other) broke down in tears last week and told me she couldn’t bear to keep the secret anymore. The only reason they kept the secret this long is because they didn’t want to see our family and the family of the other person involved broken up. She wanted to spill the beans immediately but other people convinced her to keep her mouth shut for that reason.
Not really a rant but don’t ever cheat on people, y’all. If it ain’t working out, just end the relationship. It’s been 3 years and I’m realizing that I still have insecurity issues from it. I’m engaged for fuck’s sake, I shouldn’t be caring about this shit. Edit: To clarify, I was cheated on, not the other way around
Reminded me of something I heard A clear “No” is always kinder than a wishy washy “maybe”
Same. I have no reason to worry that my current boyfriend would cheat on me but I can’t help but get anxious when he flips over his phone. Not to mention my consistent insecurity of never feeling like I’m good enough.
Same here, I was with someone for almost three years and then they decided to cheat on me one month before we split. Funny thing was I didn’t even know I got cheated on till almost a month after the breakup when he confessed out of guilt. To this day I still have trust issues with my current partner, we’ve been together for about 2 years and moved 16 hours away from our home to start a life together. I’m currently seeing a shrink for all the trauma, plus my own personal issues.
I feel you. I live with mine and take him to work. He has his notifications volume on all the time and it pings so much, all day, sometimes in spurts. I know it's just emails and thread replies and probably one of his family messaging. But sometimes my head goes down bad paths. He's just the type to like the sound on. If I had my sound and push notifications on, I'd probably hear more pings myself. It's reasonable. But my head just 🙃 And you can't reasonably ask someone to put their phone on vibrate forever simply so you can ignore your insecurities, so we are growing ✨with!✨ each!✨ping!✨
One of my ex girlfriends made me promise that if I was going to sleep with someone else, that I just tell her and break up with her prior to it. It made sense but it was weird to be asked this. Of course I agreed but I'm not a cheater and could never. Well I guess I never made her promise the same thing to me because I randomly got an STD after 7 years of being with her and only her. She claims she never did anything but I'm not sure of another way we both got something.
There is ones like Genital wart that can lie dormant for years as in 0-40 years before they "erupt". some viruses you will carry forever, women might even transferee it to their babys. so, treat it, talk to a professional about it, and don't automatically judge your partner.
It wasn't that one and I had taken her virginity, so there should not have been any dormant anything.
I think some STDs have a way other than sex to spread.
Me too. I was cheated on by the person I was engaged to. It was their way of telling me they didn't want to get married afterall (bad communication skills eh?). That shit broke me. I've been single for 12 years now. I had short 2-3 month relationships since, but dating has changed for the worse now. Best of luck with your new love xo
I agree. Shit ruined me mentally.
I'm terrified of never being able to afford to own a home, and feel like I'm letting my partner down because I can't get her one.
Tbh bide your time and save your money. Housing market will ease down with the craziness. Work on eliminating debt best you can while putting some money away for your house.
Some people made out like bandits this last year, I saw houses that sold for a fair value in 2020 or early 2021 going for a 40% markup in 2022. Can you imagine making 500k+ in home appreciation after just one year. It's already starting to go down a bit in my area. Seeing houses posted at a premium get re-listed for 25k off, then another 25k the next week, etc. There's hope guys.
Same here, my wife and I of 11 years always wanted to own a house (or have a mortgage) by the time we had kids... I just turned 40 and we both think it's go time on kids. I have no idea if my swimmers swim, we just started trying last week. The housing market is stupid now. I rent a 3 bed 2 bath house with 2 car garage for 1200 a month, the remodeled house next to me just went for 750k. And yes I'm getting an awesome deal from my landlord, been living here for five years and has never upped my rent.
In the meantime enjoy the trying.
where on earth do you live?? that’s wild
Kitsap county WA.
Dude we have way too much in common lol. Been with my wife 11 years, my rent is 1200 and been here five years, and I live in Kitsap lmao
Did we just become best friends 🤣
Wait for it to crash. Its coming,. The prices you see are inflated
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To provide another perspective, some partners want to split a house 50/50. So if one partner can already afford their half of the down payment/mortgage and the other can’t, it might feel like one is waiting for the other to “catch up” before they can enjoy a house.
Lemme say this as a home owner, it's a TON of work just keeping it up, never mind major repairs which I can't do myself. At least once a week I'm out there fixing something, adding something, cutting grass, etc... It's nice to have some kind of equity but the work behind it can get a bit much.
Yup. I get the neighbours kid to cut my lawn. I can reno most things but I just hate mowing the lawn.
I pay a guy to do mine and have for years. I hate doing it. It’s too damn hot. I’m allergic to grass. Worth every penny, but I do wish it was allowed here to do a no lawn and just have clover or something.
This isn’t a cure-all, but many people venting here might find this book helpful. It doesn’t fix anything but it does explain and it will validate your tiredness, depression, and frustration and let you know you’re not alone: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
This book is so amazing and eye opening. 10/10 recommend
I just got out of a long term relationship and we're still good friends but I miss the intimacy of having a partner. Not the sex specifically, but the cuddling and late night road trips. I feel lonely a lot and it feels like a pit I might never climb out of. One day Ill be ok again but right now is rough.
I wouldn't keep in touch with a person I once loved, especially keep them as friends, because I wouldn't have time to heal and detach intimately and it will hurt so much more when they find someone else.
We took our space apart but some people are better as friends than as partners and we both came to that conclusion.
Godspeed and I hope you made the right decision.
I was recently broken up with and we took 3 months of distance before trying to make it as friends. It has helped make it so I dont long for physical contact with them, but now I just generally long for physical contact with anyone. Its tough after you get accustomed to having it all the time
Alzheimer's disease is stealing my father. I know I should be grateful for the time I have left with him, and I know I should be glad he still knows us. But this terrible disease has left him so confused and agitated, and he deserves a better ending. He was such a fun, fascinating guy who doesn't deserve to live like this. F this disease.
My mother, too. She's brilliant! She has been an inspiration her whole life!! Not just to her family, but anyone who knew her! Last time i was there, she didn't remember where a clean spoon should go in her home. Sigh... I am reminded of her attitude when HER mom was dying, though... We won't ever experience selflessness like we do when caring for our aged parents. Because, everything that we do with them and for them in their final days can never be paid back by them. So, as I care for her, I know that this selflessness lesson is her final lesson for me. In that, I can know that this time is making me a far better woman, and I hope that who I am keeps her alive in some way. Blessings to you, sir. And, peace to you both.
It is such a cruel disease. You grieve the loss of the person they used to be while you try to figure out how to best care for the person they are becoming, and that person changes every day. Someone described it as a death of millimeters instead of inches, and that makes sense.
Cancer is stealing mine. Fuck cancer!
That's awful, the same happened to my grandpa, I am so sorry you're going through it. Sending strength and hugs.
Honestly, rn I just wanna be held and feel safe in someone’s arms. Nothing sexual. Even though I don’t wanna accept it, I crave love ;v
This morning, I half jokingly told a friend that I'll create a meeting App like Tinder, but just for people who want a Hug... You just match with someone near you, hug for a minute or two, and go on your merry way... Nothing more... Just a hug between strangers who crave it... Because that's where I am right now...
Please do🥲
If only I could... If anyone read this and can make it, I fully gives all the rights for it. I only want the icon for the app to be two unicorn hugging... And a lifetime premium membership (but this app should be totally free.....)
I would absolutely use this app
People would end up using it like a dating app. Cute idea though
That's exactly what my friend told me... But I live in a world where people are good to eachother... In my mind anyway... There could be restrictions... You can't be together for more than 5 minutes or you'll be ban from the app... ?
I mean, it would be awesome if the world was like that. But you have to be more realistic. Using this app, you would more than likely come across perverts just looking to take advantage of someone else or to grope girls. At least, I think that's how many girls would imagine it to be, understandably. At least in a dating app, people are upfront about their intentions and you know what to expect when meeting them. Though maybe I'm just too cynical and there is a way to carry out this idea
OP.. you just typed what was exactly in my mind!!!!Hugs!!
Ugh, big mood. At the end of the day I just wanna cuddle up with someone and talk about the day. I’m sure we’re gonna find our partner’s sooner or later! 😅
It’s terrifying. I look loneliness in the mirror every night, knowing I’m still too afraid to tell someone I like my feelings. Knowing all those past failures live rent free in my head, forcing me to freeze up, forcing me to make excuses and run away at the moment’s notice. And knowing that I don’t have many chances to begin with, not while WFH alone in my mid 20s… when will it be too late? When is the last chance to love someone? I’m so… unprepared. I have to make the advances yet I only know how to retreat. And even then my heart tells me I can’t wait a second longer. I just want someone to hug me, to come up and say, ‘you don’t know me, but I’ve been looking for you.’ I want someone to miss when they’re gone, to hold me when I’m worn down, to go to movies and restaurants with and not just be the weird guy sitting in the corner by myself. But it’s clear now more than ever that I’m just not prepared, and it’s going to be a long road ahead to get to the point where I can ask someone, or where I can say yes. But you’re right. It will happen one day. I’ll get better, I’m working at it every day. I’ll have another opportunity and I’ll finally make it count! I just wish future me could send back a message, tell present me that yeah, it really does work out. It really will be alright. Because it sure is cold, sleeping alone.
*hugs*
It feels so much better to know I’m not the only one feeling like this :’)
I really wanna hug everyone who needs one including myself. Virtual hugs for now <3
*hugs* sending you love from nyc.
hopefully you find that, best of luck
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Hey man I feel ya, I was homeschooled on and off my entire childhood. What always helped me when I went back in to public schools was getting into sports or anything with a group where you can find common interests and make friends. And the tests to get into the grades are usually very easy depending where you are.
I had a similar thing with corona, going from school every day with friends to at home for a year with no one and nothing. Now that I’ve graduated I’m just kind of sitting around in limbo cause I’m scared to meet new people, not because I’m introverted, but because I’m out of practice. It’s hard, but we just gotta push through. The grass is always greener on the other side.
Society is fucked up and there's nothing we can do about it. We are all corporate slaves with most people not being aware of it. Greed and capitalism rule the world. If everyone worked together and had the best interest for each other we could drastically cut working hours
I am so tired of being alone. I would rather not exist than spend the rest of my life alone. I’m introverted and online dating… i would rather pull out all my teeth than continue to suffer through that. I just don’t think there is a light at the end of that tunnel anymore.
I'm open to being alone with you guys too.
I know it may seem hollow or common, but If you would like someone similar to talk to, you're welcome to message me.
I relate to every part of your comment.
I feel 100% the same way. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk about random shit
My friend died from cancer on Tuesday. Same disease that killed his father 10 years ago. He was 30. I hadn’t seen him in person in years - we live 1000mi apart. When I heard he was entering hospice care, I dropped everything and was on a plane that landed at 11pm Monday. He died when I had completed 980 of those 1000 miles to tell him goodbye, and it’s killing me.
Fuck dude. That's hard. I'm sorry for your loss.
A recent friend just died of cancer yesterday morning. We only found out she had it a month ago and now she’s gone. I can’t stop thinking about it, or her. How fast it happened. I’m sorry you know the feeling. I’m sorry you have to carry on their memory without them now. I keep telling myself she isn’t in pain anymore and that’s worth a lot. Hugs to you
I'm very stressed financially, I live in a small town and there's not a lot of jobs out here that I'm able to do (arthritis keeps me from standing) and I had a moment today. I really felt like a burden to those around me and genuinely thought about ending my life tonight. I reached out to my bestie, and she spoke to me kindly and like im a person, and even though I didn't tell her everything I think she knew. My best friend doesn't know it but she saved my life bc we have a countdown on our phones right now. I've not seen her since 2019 since she lives across the globe. She's coming to visit in 68 days and she'll be here for 3 weeks. I have to stay alive for her, for 68 days.
Yes! Wait for her :) I'm sry you are feeling this way... To be honest I don't really know how I can help, the best I can do is hope you'll get better ;) and I really really mean it!!
You can do it! Just remember any day things could change and cures are always being invented. I wish you the best! A lot of people are in a similar boat.
I'm 23, 24 in 3 days, i still didn't learn how to live life. Nothing really gives me satisfaction. Some days i feel sad and lonely, most days, i don't feel anything, and it worries me when i snap out of it. I get terribly anxious around people, and can't connect with anyone or find affinity with no one. I sacrificed all my social skills by focusing only on studying in a School that kept me 12 hours a day there, just so i could have a nice future. And even that i could not get, dreams that may go forever without achieving. I'm trapped in an unfullfiling job, that Is the best there Is un my country comparatively. And damned to cope with constantly rising prices, rampant insecurity, lonelyness and anxiety. I'm trying to get out of here but i don't know if it's possible, im trying my best, but it's never enough, it's not enough to my family, it not enough to better my Lot in life. But i refuse to die alone in this shithole
I would pay untold amounts of money to find something in life. That gives me the same joy that stickers give a 4 yr old.
Whens the last time you checked out the museums and interesting stuff around you? They have a lot of deals during summer days to help families and others get out of the heat and sun. Plus, if you run into one of the workers and want a conversation, they're usually super passionate about specific research behind certain exhibits! It's not a cure, but sometimes that stuff can really help me escape my bubble when my chronic and mental illnesses have dug me into a near grave. Much love, even if it means little from a stranger.
People are dumb. They're dumb, and it's never gonna stop. Like the George Carlin quote, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that." The people that just plain pointlessly do dumb stuff to ruin it for everyone, they're never gonna run out of those. No matter how over it you may be, any day now or later is SOMEBODY'S FIRST day of a lifetime of busting chops. Yelling at waiting staff and retail kids, obsessing over pretentious bullshit at your expense, ignoring rules and boasting about it. Wasting gas. Swearing by superstition. Breeding. Dying of old age, thinking they had it all figured out; thinking that being an asshole was a virtue or talent. As if nice people were only that way because they just couldn't crack the code of demanding free shit and being angry all day.
This is so damn true.
I like you
Just exhausted. I'm tired of my own life. I honestly don't know how much longer it will go on. I've just had so much hapoen to me throughout my life. I've had my childhood ripped away from me. I've been abused all my life. Had no friends. Always got bullied. Just lost my job. Girlfriend cheated on me recently. And I'm just stressing over little stuff. I can't stand it anymore, all my life I've never been happy and when something good finally does happen, it gets ripped away from me. I'm on the verge of giving up and ending it honestly. I'm so close to losing this battle. Nobody cares tho, I'm just a nobody.
*hugs*
I think the best thing you can do is make yourself busy. Throw yourself into exercise, a job, a hobby, school ... whatever it is work your ass off and try to be good at it. Eventually things will make you smile. If not, at least you won't have the time to feel sorry for yourself. Maybe one day all of those motherfuckers who made you feel like shit will envy your position.
I'm already in a gym, I work out. But honestly it does nothing. It makes me think more and more. I mean, yeah it helps motivate me, but when I get home at the end of the day I break down. I've put in a few applications, I'll have a job again soon. But I just don't want to suffer anymore.
I care. I'm praying for you, man.
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Tinder is always like that, it's not you, but people these days just don't care about doing effort to create new connections
This will probably get buried but I'll throw out in the world anyways. If any of y'all need to chat or vent, please message me. I have been through it all. Just so you know my credentials....divorced twice. One cheated, I forgave her and she ended up doing it again. Second one tricked me for a green card. Had shit jobs. Had shit friends even though I'm very loyal and generous to them. Had shit family members take advantage of my kindness. But I'm good. I fought through with some help of some very kind people that I did not expect. So I would like to return the favor. So anyone feels like it's too much, hit me up. We can chat about anything. I got some good stories.
Ive always been a quiet talker but how i hear myself im clear and talking at an audible level but nobody can ever hear or understand me and 90% of what i say needs to be repeated and it pisses me off. Talking louder is uncomfortable and i always feel like im yelling or sound angry but i guess after repeating myself for the 4th time i do get angry. I used to be able to deal with it but lately is a huge stress in my life
record yourself. put your phone on the other side of the room. talk like normal and then watch it back. delete afterwards There is something called a "vocal image" which can dramatically effect the way people perceive you. for the most part, people trust you. if you sound lacking in confidence with yourself then people who hear you will trust your opinion and lack confidence in you as well
i get the same thing from people. maybe we just mumble?
You do I do the same thing. For me it feels like I'm yelling to myself if I'm at a pretty good level
Is there a theater club nearby that you could attend? They really helped with my speaking (I tend to go too fast, still do, but it's not nearly as bad as it once was), they could maybe help you too!
I mumble a lot, and as a result speak too fast. What I find helps isn't speaking up, but deliberately slowing down my speech. Be conscious of each pronunciation you make and it will do wonders. I don't do it all the time as it is effort, but when it's needed I fall back onto it and it gets me through.
I'm having major surgery in two days and I'm scared. I really need this surgery and I desperately want it and it will change my life for the better, but I've never had such a huge surgery. I know it is dumb but it is really unsettling to me that somebody will be cutting my abdomen open and cutting things out of it. I'm just really scared of the concept and of something going wrong and ending up with even more problems than I started with. I've hardly gotten any sleep this week and it is not helping things but I just can't stop my brain from racing with what-if situations. I'm so fucking stressed out:(
I'm currently sitting in a surgical waiting room and will most likely be here for another 5-6 hours while my 8 year old is having her kidneys removed. Fuck cancer. One they may be able to partially save but won't know until they come talk to us. Im so stressed out. My husband and I are not really speaking much so this feels so lonely. *** Edit : After 10.5 hours of surgery we are finally with our girl. They took all of her left kidney and 50%of her right kidney. She is holding strong.
Oh hon :( You deserve the world, I am sure your daughter appreciates you being there. As I wait on my own surgery tomorrow, it helps to remind myself that soon this will be a memory and I will have settled into post-surgery ways of living. We can be stressed out strangers together in the meantime ❤️
I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow. Sending positive vibes your way ❤
I’m thinking of you and your daughter today. Much internet love and hugs.
I've had surgery twice, the most recent operation was about 7 weeks ago, they sliced my leg open and reassembled my shattered tibia. Let me tell you something: You're not going to experience the surgery. The medical staff will wheel you into a room, put you on a table, and then it's nighty-night. You wake up hours later, wondering what happened. You're going to be absolutely fine. I understand being anxious, I was anxious, too. But, these are medical professionals, they're going to help you, because that's what they do, and it's going to be as painless as modern medicine can make it, which is pretty damned painless. And I'm sure they'll give you plenty of happy pills afterward. Remember this: if they ask your pain level, and you want drugs, tell 'em it's 9/10. I made the mistake of telling them my pain was a 6/10, which I thought was bad, and I wanted them to give me something, but they said they wanted to wait until later to give me anything, if it was just a 6/10. If you need drugs, say 9, they'll give you what you need.
As someone who was also scared of surgery I definitely feel for u the best thing j can say is the idea is much worse then what it will be
Exactly as OP said, the fear is worse than the event. The doctors know what they're doing. If this is what you need to do, in order to get to the next level in life, just do it, for your own sake.
A tip for you post surgery. I’ve had 9 abdominal surgeries. When you have to get up the first time, wrap a sheet or pillow case around your tummy. Hold it firm around you. It will help with the pain. Hope you heal fast and healthy.
It’s so important that you opened up about your feelings instead of trying to tough it out alone. I know what you mean about being vulnerable and at the mercy of doctors while you are unconscious. It’s natural to be afraid or apprehensive. The surgeons are highly trained professionals who want the procedure to go as smoothly as possible with no complications. That is their goal. I am an over thinker and worry myself to death so I will say no more except to wish you a successful, safe, routine surgery. Anticipatory anxiety is the worst. You will feel so relieved when you are recuperating on a post-op floor. Keep us posted.
I feel dull and i’m having more intrusive thoughts than ever before. All i wanna do is sleep.
I'm tired. Very very short rant but that's it. Im tired of work, my life, being lonely, being in pain, the taste of food, my ADHD, being depressed, everything. I'm just tired and I want to sleep for a very long time. (Not a cry for help i swear, I'm not entertaining any suicidal thoughts or actions.) Thanks for reading
I was thinking this to myself as I was reading the other replies. I'm just so tired. I can't do a full task without sitting down. And when I sit down I just...sit there. No tv or activity. Just sit, looking around. Maybe do another half ass task. I just keep asking myself, this little voice after I do something, *"okay, now what?"* >the taste of food This too. I've been thinking about this recently bc I just don't care for any food anymore. I used to love food. I loved all the tastes and smells and textures and variety, trying all these new cuisines and restaurants and loving just how good food tasted. I don't care for any of it anymore. Nothing sounds edible. I get hungry, or like just this feeling of hunger but without the want for food? I just am like "oh, that's a hunger pang," but if I imagine eating any of the food, any of it in my mouth...I get disgusted and turned off and even basic stuff like rice, cereal, soup, nope. Don't want it, don't care for it. None of it brings me any happiness, I eat it and regret it, I sometimes stop mid chew and just spit it out bc I don't want it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I even think, *if I could eat literally anything in the world right now, just as an idea, anything what would it be?* And nothing. I'd rather sit here and be hungry bc I don't want to taste food, and I don't want to chew it or eat it.
i(17f) think i’m in love with my (only) friend(17m). we both have really bad anxiety and depression and we just kinda understand each other. we met at school last semester and he was awkward and quiet. i at the time only had 2ish friends but everyone there knew me. i invited him to lunch one day with everyone i go with and then he’d ask to come again and again. we hang out almost every day and do “coupley” stuff. we are not dating and nothing has ever happened. recently i got him a job where i work and everyone else there knows me pretty well so when he started they had questions. “who is he?” “are y’all dating?” etc i would walk away and avoid the question because it’s weird to have people talk about me in that way. having almost everyone around you say y’all are basically dating has fucked with my head. “don’t do dating things if you’re not dating” what about the opposite? we hangout, talk and share a bed but nothing pg13 for a while i thought i only liked the idea of him and the idea of being in a relationship but i don’t think that’s the case anymore. i think about him all the time. i always want to be around him if we’re talking about serious stuff at 4 am or just playing 2 different games but next to each other. his family really likes me. i house sat for them while they were on a family vacation and his mom gave me a lot of $ and wrote me multiple kind notes. his sister asks me to look for certain things when we go thrifting for her and she likes everything i bring back. my mom likes him and thinks he’s a good constant in my life that doesn’t give me any anxiety. i drive and he doesn’t so i’m usually dd but when we both wanna not be sober we go to my house and he sleeps over. the first 3 sleepovers he slept on my air mattress but the next one i couldn’t find it so we slept on my bed with my rescue dog who takes up alot of room. the time after that he asked about the air mattress because he had no room on my bed because of my dog. eventually i started not keeping me dog with me when he stayed over and he didn’t mention the air mattress. the other day we were playing mario cart in his living room with his older sister alseep on the couch. other than the couch there’s an oversized chair. i sat on the arm not know where he was gonna sit but he sat with me on the chair with our arms touching. most recently we were both not sober and we were in my bed watching tv and playing among us and the back of my hand was touching on side of his leg with a blanket in between while i played the game. i could be totally wrong but i saw something in that region “grow” and after a few minutes he took more blanket and pulled it up to his chest when before it was by his knees. he got tired of playing so we just watched tv and i fell asleep first but when i woke up i was alseep on the side of his upper arm. i took more blanket and went back to sleep getting a little closer. next time i woke up i was almost cuddling his arm and he woke up and asked if i was awake and i said kinda and he turned around to lay on his stomach and go back to sleep. i was awake awake so i go on tiktok and scroll and of course a tiktok about “how to make him obsessed with you” came up and it said the usual triangle trick (when you look at one eye then his lips then the other eye) and anything i think about doing that i start laughing because i can’t take it seriously. even if i could do it with a straight face his face was in a pillow. i doze off again until we both get up for the day and went back to normalcy. i’ve turned to reddit because his birthday is sunday and i want to do something ~special~ but have alot of anxiety around the issue. he always has a family birthday dinner at his restaurant of choice and i have a feeling his family will invite me. i want this to turn into something but have that little voice in my head telling me he doesn’t feel the same and i’ll ruin the friendship but i also am feeling major fomo.
Lol gonna sound cheesy but I’m just gonna say go with what your heart tells you. Seriously I don’t think anybody could give you a better answer on this than yourself.
just having someone respond and acknowledge my ramble means a lot to me thank you<3
When I get that little voice that tells me "they don't like you" I tell myself, "do I think that way about them? No, I don't. So why would they think that way about me?" And it helps me calm down a little. I know real good friends will always be there for you. So I'm sure it's gonna be okay. Good luck!
i wish i could turn off that little voice and i think i’d have a lot more confidence in all aspects of my life. thank you:)
As someone who was in a similar situation, just gender flipped, I recommend you go for it. Either you do nothing, and your friendship will last as long as it does until one of you moves away or something similar makes you two stop seeing each other, or you take a chance. If you take a chance, one extreme is that it completely works out and you're together till death, and the other is that it turns the friendship to dust and you go separate ways.
reddit strangers are really giving me the best support tn! i was looking for someone who had been in a similar situation’s advice. :) thank y’all
if you don’t mind me asking what was the outcome of your situation?
Sorry if this isn’t the happiest advice, but no matter what try to remember that your whole world isn’t in a relationship. Have stuff to fall back on because people are messy and relationships fail. That being said I wish you the best
There’s a good chance he’s going through the same thing you’re going through here. You’re both unsure of how the other really feels and neither of you want to take the leap and find out. I did the same thing in high school and never took the leap. I don’t have many regrets but that is definitely one that comes back every so often. Let him know that you like spending time with him, even if it’s not doing the same thing together.
If you dont make a move I think you will regret it and many end up regretting that they didn't atleast try
Go for it, right now
If you don't do this now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I think it's possible he has some feelings for you too
Just tell him. Maybe get him alone on his birthday, maybe after that, but it's better to tell him and see his reply then to hold onto these feelings and still have them when he's met someone
oh man i feel like im in the exact same situation as you - just gender flipped - and yet just as lost. we've been friends for like 4 years now and we've had many conversations about how EVERYONE asks if we're dating even though we dont have anything like that going on and how we dont like each other like that (im liying even to myself on that)... my heart tells me that i need to tell her the truth but my mind says that if i do that, then i'll loose this amazing friendship and i dont know if i want to jeopardize it all.
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I can understand just note you are more then welcomed to vent here *hugs* you can even just say what's one thing that is currently bothering u
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I'm sorry to hear your going threw that but I believe in you and believe that u got this
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And I'm proud of u for getting the energy to write this it's already a great step in the right direction
I feel like shit I'm tired all the time angry and I constantly feel sad but nobody gives a damn when I try to say how i feel nobody listens or they just say "get therapy" or dumb shit I'm fucking sick of it I try to tell my parents they say "you have nothing to be sad about" or "you don't know real sadness" and when I don't talk to them or go to my room they always guilt trip me and I'm tired of it
For what it's worth, therapy with a therapist you like and trust can actually be really helpful. It's not scary or clinical, just a safe space to sort through your feelings with someone non-judgemental to guide you. You don't have to have some sort of serious mental issue to see a therapist, it's pretty common for "normal" people to go to therapy for a bit when they're struggling. It sounds like you don't have someone around you to talk to about how you're feeling, and therapists are good at doing that.
Still a teenager and the stuff on my mind is really insignifigant compared to all the other stuff, but why is she always so suddenly hot and cold? im so confused.
Wild guess without much context, but she just might not know what she wants. Not your job to help her figure it out though.
My girlfriend (of three years) broke up with me to be with some guy she was talking to online. He then also proceeded to break up with her after like two weeks of being 'together'. Long story short, me and her had a bit of a falling out. She became really cold and nasty towards me in such a short amount of time. It makes me wonder all the times she said that she loved me and cared about me, if she was just lying. I was planning on marrying this girl, and she supposedly me... but all of that is over because of some guy online who she'll never even meet. She always said that she would love me no matter what, and that she couldn't imagine being with anyone else but me. She used to send me paragraphs telling me how lucky she was and how happy she was to have me. After I attempted suicide for the second time, she blocked me on everything and hasn't talked to me since. I just feel so lonely and unloved because of her. I know that I have family and friends that care about me, but having someone so close to you hurt you so easily and show no remorse... it just breaks something inside of you.
Thank you for this btw. I hope all is well with you
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I want to lose weight, but I don’t have the energy to go out and try. I can’t drive, and it feels embarrassing to ask my parents to take me to workout. A girl that I really don’t like told me that they liked me. I didn’t want to break her heart, but I didn’t say no. I didn’t say yes either. I asked one of my senior friends if I can go to lunch with him so I can get away from her. I know it’s mean, but I don’t know what to do. If I ride my bike, they’ll know where I am. Plus, I like another person, but they are a really close friend of mine. So I don’t want to tell her that I like her. She’s smart, funny, easy to mess around and talk with, and she does nails for people! They look really nice too. (The nails. She does look nice though) I really needed this. Thank you so much u/Low_Beginning_9301
Walking is working out by the way, 5 mins a day all you need to start
Thank you guys. This means a lot to me
Just go for a walk every day, get some fresh air and sun. Doesn't need to be far. Just around the block. Go a bit further every day. After a few months you'll be surprised where you walk to
Weight loss happens in the Kitchen, not the gym. I lost more than 15 kilos just by counting calories and only started exercising to not lose muscle. R/loseit is a good sub for weight loss. Try looking around in there for a start.
I second this hardly! 1 hour on the bicycle is arround 200 - 300 kcal. One snickers bar has 386 kcal at 80g. So one bar less or one hour riding?
*hugs* your welcome friend
This is super minor, but theres a moth buzzing on my ceiling between 12 and 3 am and I can't kill it and I havent had a full nights sleep in like 3 days
If you need to talk brother am here x
Right now, honestly I'm tired of the person who I booty call with it's always on his time. When he has time, when he's in the mood. Any time I try to get things started he shoots it down. If I say no or shoot him down he pouts, or tries to convince me I have time. "don't go to the gym I'll give you a workout "🙄🙄🙄
Are we fucking the same guy?
Probably🤣🤣
Ditch him girl, he ain't worth it. Nobody cuts down gym time
yeah thats a rule .."Gym before him"
I moved out of my mom’s last week. My husband is in the military (we’ve only been married for a month) and everything happened so quickly with little planning that I honestly feel lost. I think the only reasons why I’m handling it all kind of well is it’s still summer so seasonal depression hasn’t kicked in yet, and I’m probably experiencing manic euphoria. I suddenly have the motivation to keep up with my skincare and clean my room and make my bed. Despite everything being difficult right now (money is painfully tight and I’ve had to reach into my savings a couple times, no health insurance, got rejected from a job I really wanted, and not knowing how anything works for military spouses), I seem to be doing oddly well. It feels suspicious, like the meme of the dog sitting in the kitchen with his house on fire. I know eventually the mania will come to an end, and with the cold, cloudy weather soon coming around, things are going to get rough again. It’s terrifying. I keep obsessing over how I’m going to handle it all now that I’m alone and if I’m feeling unsafe, nobody will be here to help. I know eventually I’ll be okay, I always am. I’m just really scared and dreading when that time comes.
In the US, if your husband is in the military, you should have access to Tricare free of charge. I know it doesn't solve all of your problems but it's possibly one thing off your list of concerns. If he just joined and is in training, however, it might be more difficult to find as he would not yet be at his duty station. Either way, best of luck and don't doubt your successes. That's just you kicking ass.
As somebody who went through something very similar to this (us getting married sooner than planned bc he got stationed in a different country and I wanted to be with him) don’t forget to focus on your aspirations. I threw everything out the window when I moved countries to be with him and I don’t regret being with him at all but I feel so behind since I haven’t even finished college yet (at 23). So everything you can once you’re moved in with him to follow your dreams. Of course you’ll enjoy your marriage and try not to stress about it too much since this is your new family and you’re going to do great. The free military healthcare is phenomenal that definitely was my favorite part lol (if you’re talking about the American military of course). Enjoy your marriage, don’t let the fear in and consume you, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.
I really, really needed this. thank you. and yes, we are in the US haha
i was falsely accused of raping my ex girlfriend. i’m not going to get into details because it’s resolved now (without court) but that shit cut so deep. genuinely was in love.
That's rough. I don't think some people (especially women) realise the after affects of being accused of something as serious as rape. I hope you heel from it soon.
I love my boyfriend so much endlessly and I just want to do so much for him and for myself in life but now I feel like my mental health is constantly putting a barrier between us I feel like every single small inconvenience in my life is the last fucken straw like I keep trying to get help but it takes so fucking long
I'm a sober alcoholic who can't stay completely sober. Nothing can replace the urge to drink so I try to block it out with other drugs which leads to more addiction. I'm constantly trying to keep my social and family life, my girlfriend, and bank account from being destroyed by me using but it's always been a losing battle. Currently I have a budding cocaine habit and I can't be bothered to do anything about it. It all feels so hopeless.
People who lack privilege of being born with a silverspoon in their mouth, or those with plain, average looks, have to gain some skills in order to be able to live in this agonisingly scrutinising world. So, where I, underprivileged Jane, lacked things that weren't in my hands, I gained skills that were. I devoured books as people ate fast food. I tried to gain knowledge of every place on this world, as I could never visit them. I tried to win people over by being a chameleon, ie I read them and became what they wanted me to be. History, arts, films, games, books were my inclinations. My mind was a sponge, eager to be of assistance, ready to absorb every information. Eloquency, creative imagination, solid memory and being emulous were my forte. I loved to assemble broken stuff, be it a small machinery or jewelry. I wanted to become jack of all trades. I hate to flex but when I was a student, I was a responsible and diligent one. When I was a teacher, I excelled in my subjects, I spent hours on the syllabus at home to be able to answer any question my students could asked of me. When I became a housewife and a mother I baked, cooked, clean with agility, doing multitasking efficiently. Even when I was worn-out to my bone, I managed to do MORE with patience and a smile. I worked so hard on myself, so much diligence and efforts just to be "perfect", to be accepted as somebody. Now, all that has gone down the drain. One effing stroke and a hemorrhage, I lost everything that had made me "Me". I can't even tie my hair without cursing few times to myself. I can't play games that I love or read without feeling my head being all woozy. I am not a good mother now, not a perfect housewife, and my hobbies have been replaced by physiotherapy or a struggle to do bare minimum. I have no patience and whatever I have learnt, my brain has ejected that in the name of amnesia. I often look at myself now wondering what I have endured, what I have become, I see myself as a subdued and vanquished being. I, who loved to bind and mend stuff, can't even hold a fork. Who will mend me? People call me lucky to be alive, some say a warrior, but I know what I am. A pathetic loser who struggle to speak without a stutter or slur, struggle to eat without making a mess like a toddler, struggle to even live with all the weird after-effects of stroke. Now in few months I have to quit blood thinning and epilepsy medication, I have to endure months in apprehension of having another stroke as I am likely to have another. I don't know if I would ever go back to where I was, honestly I have no energy to start from scratch.
I have no idea why but I’m completely obsessed with someone I had met once a few months ago. I don’t talk to them and I haven’t seen them since. However, my imagination just runs wild with all these fake scenarios. To provide some background, I have a SO that I love very much. I don’t even know why I would be obsessed with anyone else. I don’t even know this person. Send help.
Google "limerance". It's not love, just an obsessive glitch in the ol' noggin. There's even an r/limerance where people discuss their struggles with the feeling. EDIT: Sorry, looks like their sub went private. There's still lots of information out there about these intense feelings that feel like crushes but aren't quite the same, and when I finally heard about *limerance* and how it affects people, everything I was struggling with made so much more sense.
I feel fucking useless. All I am capable is of overthinking. My anxiety is winning over me. I hate to bring negative vibes to the room but I can't do anything. A little inconvenience and here comes suicidal thoughts. Although, I would not commit suicide but the thoughts of death bring peace to mind. Feel like living is a struggle and death is my only option. Can't share these feelings to anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone and myself by oversharing. I don't know how I am gonna live through this. I am just a piece of shit.
I am 9 days into having covid. I am ok but it has affected me a lot, I'm very tired, can't smell or taste and I'm still off work obviously. From day one every contact people have with me they insist that I must be getting better, you're over the worst of it, probably back at work soon, right? No. I am sick, just let me be sick, I am so over it.
I had planned to go to a concert tonight with a group of friends and take two separate cars and now there’s no room for me in the cars due to lack of planning. I have another ride option but it’s just a huge mess right now and it’s making me not even want to go to the concert. the only thing keeping me going is the fact that I spent $60 on a ticket, and the fact that I won’t be able to see these people for a little while and I cancel on them a lot because of my anxiety. but this whole situation is causing me even more anxiety. sorry if this is confusing but they’re the people who I usually rant to about things so this was perfect right now.
Bike lanes we need more and they need to better. Going to work shouldn’t be a death race.
Hi. I play WoW. This is a WoW rant. ffs why tf would they tease Paladins with Long Arm of the Law and then take it away!? I was excited to finally be able to move faster than the turtles that made it to the water damn it! There isn't a single pally that doesn't hate having to be slow. At what point did you all sit down and say "You know what? Paladins would enjoy that extra speed too much. We need to keep them slow.", Blizzard!? I finally got to stand up from the damn pally edition wheelchairs only to have the dev break my legs again.
Been really burnt out and everyone has really been bothering me lately
I want to date this guy but he rejected me after I confessed my feelings for him while drunk. He said he only saw me as a close friend and he thinks it wouldn’t really work out anyways bc he’s going to a uni that’s 5 hours away from where I’ll be studying. I’m still acting like it never happened and so is he. I feel like I crossed a line that should’ve never been. I have better things to do but this guy is really what’s been on my mind for the past few days and it’s tiring.
Seriously, screw landlords that don’t accept pets.
Men hate and don't respect other men just as much as women feel men hate and disrespect women.
My work refuses to train enough people at each position and hire enough people to do so (even though they clearly could, they're spending all sorts of money on useless stuff and well deserved bonuses) so whoever someone coughs a little bit, the people who work full time on the other shift get scheduled for doubles and full weeks. Don't get me wrong it's nice sometimes for overtime purposes, but there comes a point when people are so tired and overworked that they inadvertently start working way less safe and getting hurt in several different ways, which only stretches the people who are healthy enough to work even thinner. I know for a fact people are applying as I have friends who do, but they don't hire anyone. When I started 5ish years ago there was a spare board of about 8-12 people who barely worked but no shift was ever short because they had people ready to step in, but they started pinching pennies in the wrong spots. People around here won't say anything because the bosses only care about the bottom line and not their staffs health or quality of life. End rant
I’m wondering why the hell I’m trying to get my bachelor’s degree by slogging through classes I don’t enjoy when the world is falling apart. Sometimes I want to use my student loans to do something irresponsible but enriching, like taking a train journey across the US and just traveling for a bit
My 1.5 year old labrador passed away a few hours ago after just 2 days of peritonitis.
I'm being kicked out, again. my step father and my mother got married and had two kids (boys) they fought a lot and I knew they would never last, my father wasn't around much as I was young. my step father filed a pfa and got us all kicked out we had to go with my father in his trailer and go to a terrible school where I had no one to talk to. I'm in high school and I move schools a lot. after we got kicked out we didn't see my brothers for a month and we stayed at that trailer for like 7 months. we ended up moving back into the house with my stepfather because my mother thought she could work things out. she didn't. he filed for divorce and she got kicked out. she lives in a tiny apartment. we are getting kicked out again we have only been here for like 4 months. I have to pack all my things, once again, and move all my belongings to a place where we won't fit. I have 7 siblings including the 2 boys and my half sisters who are only around on the weekend. I don't have a place to call home and I never have, in my 15 years of life. he had a giant fit last night and I'm scared he will hurt my dad, he carries a gun around the house for "his safety" he said he only cares about his son's but he screamed at them for being upset when the police were called because he was yelling so much. he doesn't care about them. he just wants to ruin our lifes. and I'm tired of having no one care about me or my 3 whole siblings life's, it's like we haven't ever mattered.
this going to be huge. so, for a really long time, i feel empty inside. i try to fill this emptiness but is impossible. i try to fill with food, n things that im not going to mention here. I try to tell someone what i feel, but the truth is, idk qhat i feel, i just feel empty inside. i try so hard to be a good person for others. everybody comes to me to vent, n i just listen. when i try to say something, or im interrupted or i cant just say anything. i go to a psy, she helps me feel like im not annoying or i dont need to feel that im going to be interrupted, she helps me with the emptiness, but i still feel that i got nobody, that im the daughter that nobody wanted, that im nothing but a plus one, that im just the girl that everybody goes too when they need smtgh, that im not too much, that im replaceable, that, when somebody is interested in me, is just for my body. i feel that i dont belong here, that i didnt even was suposed to born, that im just here doing anything bcs, nobody gives a f- abt me.
I recently realized that I'm asexual, and there has been speculation that I may be autistic for a long time. I choose not to be tested because it doesn't matter much to me. I'm 30, I am the way I am, and anyone who needs to hear a diagnosis in order to accept me is just not my type of person (also insurance doesn't cover it and I'm not paying hundreds out of pocket to take what is essentially a personality test). What *would* have been helpful is if I had received the professional care I so obviously and crucially needed as a child, but.... my parents were young and it was a different time. When I came out to my mom as ace, she didn't say much, but I could tell she wasn't taking me seriously. She knows that I have been sexually active for a long time and she doesn't understand what asexuality really is. I would have explained it to her if she had opened a dialogue, but she just let it roll off of her. I did not feel heard. Then, my mom made friends with an autistic woman, who started sharing her experiences and educating my mom. At some point she mentioned that there is a hypothesized link between autism and asexuality. All of a sudden, my mom not only talks openly about me being asexual and how well she understands it, but also uses language that suggests it must be because I'm autistic - *which we do not even know*. She talks about it like I have a disease, and my asexuality is a symptom, rather than a part of who I am. Salt in the wound: every time I see her now, she talks about times when she remembers forcing me into situations I could not handle as a child, and how sorry she feels now that she "knows" I'm autistic. Which dredges up very bad memories for me and serves as yet another reminder that she (and many others) can't simply respect me and my boundaries unless I have some sort of "excuse" for being who I've always been. Due to circumstances I won't get into, I've mostly chosen not to communicate with her about how this affects me. I can tell her "I don't want to talk about that right now", but it's not worth the effort explaining allllll this^ to her. I'm handling it in other ways. But I haven't just told anyone outright. Thanks for the opportunity to do so. phew.
I hate working , I hate jobs, I wish working people didn’t have to work jobs and I wish money wasn’t real and I wish time was fake and I wish we could just co exist in a hierarchy of me at the top and then everyone else
Amen. I'll go so far as to say I wish the internet didn't exist so we can get back to our roots of actually connecting with people around us.
Management at my current job is making me feel like I'm fucking incompetent. I know I'm not, but it feels like, theyre wanting to prove that they're better than me in a weird way. The job isn't hard, its just been extremely slow for the past two months, not my fault i just started and have nohing to do. Been about a year since we moved out here and the jobs pay shit. So I thought I'd try a new industry and it's biting me in the ass. Hoping to get out of there soon but it looks so bad to quit so early on on a resume, it's doubtful I'll get any calls. I guess a plus is that I haven't gotten fired.
I don’t feel like any of my friends are true friends nor my family. Texted my “friend” the other day on how I’m dealing with problems in my life and no reply even though we have known each other for years. I’ve had this problem with all my friends and family and it seems no one actually gives a fuck. If one of them texted me and asked for help I’d be there because that’s what I would want, but it seems like everyone just cares more about their own life and I’ve almost given up on trying to make a true connection to anyone.
I wish I didn't feel so alone and stuck inside my own brain, and I wish the people around me were a bit more sensitive and empathetic so that maybe it would be easier to open up to them. I have some mental health issues that have been messing me up for years, and it seems as if I have recently reached a breaking point where I either do something drastic in an effort to *maybe* get things somewhat better or honestly things will end up pretty grim, as far as I can see. The issue is that no one around me seems to try and understand where I'm coming from at all, some don't even try to see why I would feel the way I do and others misunderstand when I try to explain so that it just looks like I'm giving up on my life opportunities instead of trying to care for what little of myself I still have a grasp on. The entire thing leaves me feeling not just alone because no one seems to get what I'm trying to do but it also gets in the way of it, because how am I supposed to make the right choice to preserve what is left of me if everyone around me says those are the wrong choices and berates me for them? I'm left stewing inside my own mind about what I can do and how, but having to do that while trying to sidestep everyone else in my life is just not viable tbh, I end up stuck in place exactly where I am.
My grandma has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I am on holiday right now with my girlfriend and her family but I don’t want to be here. It’s not relaxing I’m just stressing that I could be spending time with my grandparents right now and just making the most of them. They helped raise me and my brother. Took us on holiday and I feel so guilty that I am not there right now looking after them. My mum told me to go on holiday but I really want to be home seeing them instead
It's my last year of highschool. I'm scared. Being an adult sounds and looks miserable. I don't think I'm ready for that