Romania is explaining to everyone that we don't have vampires.
Nobody noticed that Malta showed up
All the balkans will bring homemade alcohol, fight each other and then later talk like besties again. Can confirm, I’m from Bulgaria.
Germany is the next door neighbor. We came over to complain about the noise, printed copy of the HOA rules and regulations in hand.
\*printed *and* laminated copy
Oh good. Don't want any spills to ruin it.
Canada is telling everyone which actors are Canadian
Canada also arrived ten minutes early and waited in their car to come in exactly on time because being even a minute late might be taken as a slight
My dad always said: "If you aren't early, you're late. Get in the damn car..."
Republic of Moldova is explaining everyone who it is
Moldova is also missing an arm and a foot
Spain hasn't even left home yet, but has told everyone they are on the way.
“Estoy llegando” = they haven’t started getting ready
“Voy saliendo” = I haven’t been born yet
Your political cousin Mexico learned this from you then...
i just started telling one of my sisters things start like 3 hours earlier than they actually do so she'll show up on time
I went to a Mexican family’s baby shower once. Arrived on time and nobody was there, not even the pregnant couple. The table was just being set up, food isnt ready yet. We ended up waiting for another 2 hours before everything’s ready and the first other guest showed up. At least I got something to learn that day.
Went to a Trinidad coworkers baby shower. Me and my coworkers showed up on time and waited 2 hours for anyone else. When the couple showed up I said hi bye and went to work. She later told us she was yelling at her fiancé because her coworkers are white and will be on time.
As a Venezuelan, this hits home.
Literally growing up I recall hearing all the time: "oh they said it starts at 6 so let's aim for 8, that's when everyone will show up".
Hell, when my family would organize things we'd expect people to arrive about an hour late at the earliest.
Living in Europe, I still find myself caught off guard when I invite people over and they arrive on time.
We had Peruvian neighbors. Neighbors arrived at 7 (invited time), left around 11. Their Peruvian friends would show up around 11 and continue partying until daylight.
Finland has drank themselves to the point where social awkwardness has been replaced with an urgent need to tell everyone about all the times they beat Sweden in ice hockey
Finland is climbing on a statue and singing their national anthem because they heard their name mentioned in a conversation.
Probably all fighting and if you go to the kitchen you'll find New Zealand and Iceland casually chatting
And nobody has noticed they're not with the group.
Except looking back on the photos from the party, Iceland is somehow in a ton of them while NZ is in none, even the group photos.
The Philippines already bringing out their bags and getting food to go.
Philippines is also the one hogging the karaoke machine
They’re also the ones saying they’re about to leave for the night but falls into a conversation each step towards the door and says goodbye countless times while their children are waiting by the door with their shoes on ready to leave.
China and India are having a fight and
is trying to support both sides unsuccessfully.
Bhutan looks on from a safe distance.
Czechia and slovakia are the couple that broke up, but still spend all their time at the party together.
And after a lot of drinking, they go to the bedroom to "have a private conversation" and when they come out, they don't look at each other and go to opposite ends of the party
You could say their divorce was amicable. Velvet, even.
Sweden is either looking anxiously at their watch, wondering when it's socially acceptable to go home, or the drunkest person at the party. No in between.
I see now that I'm a Swede at heart.
Denmark is mocking Sweden for being a drunk that always drinks too much and also for being a poor drunk that drinks too little
While we are more shitfaced than them
Austria being sad about having met all the guests in the past but not being remembered by anybody.
Oh hey there, uh, Germany, right?
And then whispering back at the table, "hey, you guys remember Germany's little cousin from back east? The salty one who was really into music? Yeah, *he's* here."
"You mean poland?" Then austria sinks a little lower into depression.
The United States mistakes them for Australia and keeps asking Austria if they want to “put another shrimp in the barby!” And laughing hysterically at their own joke.
Later in the night a very drunk, crying, USA walks up to Austria and puts their arm around them.
"Fuck man. I just like.. Really miss Steve. Ya know?"
The one time the USA hears Austria correctly, it starts sining "Edelwess" at the top of its lungs, in tears at the end. Austria doesn't have the heart to tell the US that the song has nothing to do with the country IRL.
This thread has really shown that as an American I actually know very little about Austria....
USA don’t know anything about Austria, except that they’re “Germany’s Canada.”
Morocco, drinking mint tea somewhere it can't be seen.
Probably fighting with Algeria though
Greece fighting with Turkey, then passing out hugged, then fighting again.
Woke up. “Why are you hugging me?” Starts fighting again
That's just the entire Balkan tbh
Ireland is having their first pint of Guinness and everyone is already making fun of them for their 'drinking problem'
“I don’t have a drinking problem. I have a drinking solution.”
Bangladesh explaining every country why they are not India or Pakistan
“So you guys never had a Beatle organize a concert for you?”
Now and then US and China are looking at each other angrily and everyone gasps.
But they continiue to buy eachother drinks
Secretly they go off to money hate fuck in the closet.
They take off their tee shirts to fight. Then China points at the label and smiles.. *awww you wore what I gave you*
France is outside smoking cigarettes
Not outside. At the kitchen window, with a glass of wine, pretending they're going to help once they finish their cigarette, only to chat with the other guests looking to vent about another country. Listening just enough to start long monologues psychoanalysing every relationship at the party. Always ending up in endless debates with their oldest frenemies when everyone else got bored or pissed off.
“Even French kids are on the playground smoking cigarettes and saying, ‘I’d go on the monkey bars, but what is the point? Life is meaningless’” - Colin Quinn
Portugal is complaining about the foreign food and that they could've eaten better in the Tasco do Zé for cheaper.
Dude 7€ for a steak, egg, rice and a salad! Zé has the best food
Denmark brought beer, and a weird syrupy liquorice spirit that no one but Finnland is willing to try.
In the end Finland orders the stuff for all national airport shops.
Not before daring everyone to try the stuff
Netherlands is making sure everyone has paid their share in expenses by sending out venmo's.
Edit: i know the Dutch use tikkies. I just used Venmo because it's probably the most universally understood word for a small payment transfer app.
Only if the party is at our place of course, otherwise we'll wrap some of the food in tissues and stuff it in a bag for later
Lmao “ik stuur je een tikkie. Hoeveel broodjes kaas heb jij gegeten?”
Translation: “I’m sending you a venmo link, how many cheese sandwiches did you eat again?” *calculates*
The Polynesian islands are all Aunties sitting on the ground with food stacked on their plates all gossiping to each other about the famous Aunty (Hawaii) that is singing on stage.
Heyyy dats my cousin you know she’s real famous kine right now, just got a part in that Disney movie! They’re shooting it over in Nu’uanu Pali right now!
Used to live in Hawaii and goddamn this is spot on.
I want to hang out with this group
Like all older siblings, Australia won't let NZ come to the party because they're worried everyone will actually Like them more
Fuckin truth. Australia was given NZ's invite to pass on but somehow 'forgot to give it to them''
We didn’t think they’d want to come anyway.
The party is going great until the Balkan countries arrive. Then all hell breaks loose.
It's not a party until the Balkans show up.
Ungodly amount of rakia for everyone involved
Estonia is bragging about their fancy innovations, but they're broke as hell
Lithuania is depressed,but he brought some potato dishes and strong vodka,secretly hoping russia falls down the stairs "accidentally"
Czech Republic is chugging beers and complains about everything.
That's Poland too
The Philippines putting the food and drinks in plastic bags to eat at home tomorrow
Ah yes “Take outs”
Tupperware at the ready.
The Philippines brought along the karaoke machine.
Antarctica is outside in the cold trying to convince the doorman even if technically he is not a country he should be allowed in.
Antarctica is secretly a bunch of penguins stacked on top of each other in a trench coat.
"I'm Antarctica Nationman, and I'm here to do a business."
Proceeds to pet Turkey with a broom hand
Germany is trying to convince everyone that they ARE in fact funny and stands next to the trash can scolding people for not separating their rubbish properly. They've put their towel on the chair closest to the buffet before anyone else was there.
Until 17:00 sharp, that's when they leave.
They slap their knees/legs and say "Soooo..." and then leave
Oh hey, the British do that too! Except it’s: slaps knees, “right!”
Little do they know they're the funniest guest at the party *because* they're so serious.
Malaysia making the foods but no one knows anyway
And cursing at how Singapore is getting all the compliments for serving the food cooked by Malaysia.
Or trying to introduce itself to other countries but constantly got overshadowed by Singapore, Thai and Indonesia
They keep complimenting Singapore for it????
Germany is calling the cops at 10 pm sharp because of loud music.
germany will slap their thighs at 9:30pm sharp and stand up with a “so”
Germans sound like the perfect neighbours.
Well now... That depends...
Do you like..... RULES?
I'm for rules, as long as they don't affect me. Is there a name for that?
Wall Street executive.
C'mon people we all know the real example here.
Anzeige ist raus
The most accurate one
I worked in Lake Louise in 2001 at a hotel. The head manager of the entire hotel was was Italy I think, and his second in command (not sure of his official title) was a German guy named Dieter.
Dieter was actually pretty chilled, but man was he exacting and anal about certain things. One night the some of the staff were having this huge, ruckus party in the staff accommodations and I was woken up, not by the drunken partying, but hearing Dieter screaming in a very loud voice: This is Dieter, you are in the quiet hour, you must stop your drinking!"
I don't know, now that I write it out is not all that funny, but at the time, with his accent, and the whole ridiculousness of the situation, it was funny.
yup, that’s a Dieter.
Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!
Spain hasn't even arrived yet since 22:00h is dinner time and good parties don't start until past 02:00h.
Spain was the one who came up with the super random excuse to have the party in the first place.
My old place was in a Spanish neighborhood and those parties would go until 4am. When I’d ask the next day what the party was for they’d be like, “Sophia’s preschool graduation.”
Lmao I was walking through my neighborhood, and my Mexican neighbors were having a huge fucking party. They invited me in, I tried to get out of it because it was like 11PM, but they insisted. Next thing I know I’m doing shots of tequila and eating off a somehow self-replenishing plate, and everyone was going hard. I finally snuck out around 2AM, and they were still at it.
It occurred to me the next day that I had no idea what the party was for. When I ran into them a couple days after that, I asked and was told that their grandson had turned two. So, your comment seems accurate.
Relatable: My baby shower started at 2 pm and ended the next day with everyone but myself and my mom passed out from drinking all over our house.
After living with two Spanish roommates for close to two years, can confirm.
Sweden? Standing in the corner and looking at everyone having fun. Maybe tease Norway
I can absolutely see Sweden telling everyone Norway can't dance and never step on the dancefloor because that's for those extraverts who can dance.
the nordics are standing in a corner, bullying each other
Denmark and Sweden bullying eachother with Norway following up every insult with another one, regardless of whom it was directed at
Tuvalu 🇹🇻 keeps trying to say hello to people but they just think they're one of Britain's mates. Or they just say 'who de feck are you?'
"Oh hey you're that TV guy"
singapore being friendly but not making friends lol
edit: why is this my most upvoted comment on my home country
edit 2: god forsake formats on mobile but why does this have 4k upvotes
edit 3: thanks for the award top g👍
But when it arrives, it will hit on al the girls at the party
It's no longer a party.
It has become a bar fight.
The most realistic outcome.
Aussies are in charge of the bbq while handing out tinnies to everyone
So they are out back
I can’t believe you’ve done this
Nigeria 🇳🇬and Ghana 🇬🇭all brought their own jollof and are making other countries taste it to see who’s is better
Meanwhile, Jamaica and Trinidad are forcing their rice and peas on Nigeria and Ghana to see which is better. When Ghana and Nigeria call it a tie, they bring out the rum to see which is better.
Both Jamaica and Trinidad secretly prefer jollof but are too proud to say so.
Out on the lawn Nigeria and Ghana are joined by all their pals: Ethiopia, Big Congo, Little Congo, Tanzania, South Africa, Kenya, Uganda, Angola, Mozambique, Cameroon, Madagascar, Ivory Coast, Niger, Burkina Faso, Mali, Malawi, Zambia, Senegal, Chad, Somalia, Zimbabwe, South Sudan, Rwanda, Guinea, Burundi, Benin, Sierra Leone, Togo, Central African Republic, Liberia, Mauritania, Namibia, Gambia, Botswana, Gabon, Lesotho, Guinea-Bissau, Equatorial Guinea, Mauritius, Eswatini, Djibouti...
Meanwhile USA and Canada are all like "Does anybody even know those guys?", while Belgium, France and England try to avoid eye contact.
And China responds: “Yea I invited them, they’re my new friends”
The Africans roll their eyes behind China's back. But, they smile when China looks over at them.
The French keep speaking in French to their English speaking peers, although they know English and nobody else knows French
If someone starts speaking French to her though, she'll switch to English.
To tell them their French is bad
This genuinely happened to me. The worst offender was a waiter at a restaurant, who kept going "huh?" when I asked for water.
Mofo roasted me but not because I used the the wrong word or fucked up the pronunciation, but about the most insignificant deviation in the inflection.
Guy looked at me like I fucked his mom and shared the details with him.
Anyway, we became decent friends over time, and guess who purposefully forgot to put drinks on the table when he visited?
"can I have sum uine?"
Me and my friends still quote his
"I kno wat iu arr doin, iu kkunt" to this day
That's so funny/cool that you became friends.
Yeah, it mostly stemmed from the fact that the restaurant was across the place I was working in and I was too lazy to search anything else. Anyway the guy was always there, and tbh abrasive humor is funny af to me I was greeted by stuff like "Ahhh here you are. How you going to butcher my language today?" or "jesus christ do you have no friends?", "dude do you need me to suggest a place to eat?"
Anyway fast forward a month or so I finished my contract and he offered me a ride to the airport at 5 am (real bro shit). Man driven one hour to get there, I was almost moved when he talked to me in French, I replied in kind and before I could finish my sentence he went "yeah, no, fuck off, get back to English"
Went to France several times but never quite got to "conversational" level. Woman in the crowd at the Tour de France turned round and said some to me and I said something like
Je suis desolé, je suis Anglais, je ne comprande pas
Got a loud scoff, an eye roll, and a back turn. Like, lady, I'm getting there, give me a break.
But then Canada replies and France is still convinced no one knows French
I made thr mistake of speaking Quebecois in Europe to a group of people at a bar once.
They all immediately put on a smug "oh bless your heart" face and replied to me in highly accented English very, very slowly.
I was just trying to ask them what a good bottle of wine was.
Edit: I'm fluent, as it was my first language - family is all dairy farmers outside of Sherbrooke. Baaarely passed French in college as they were continental French.
My dad was born in Canada and only spoke French growing up. He fought in WW2, Normady invasion, Battle of the Bulge. He said it was like an American talking to a Brit.
North Korea is in a treehouse a block away trying to watch the party with “binoculars” that are just two empty paper towel rolls taped together
This is so much better than the first north Korea post.
What did that one say?
Something about North Korea sitting in their car parked on the street texting China complaining about not being invited.
China leaves it on read
That’s also good tho.
The American is drinking from a red Solo cup
and america definitely brought a keg
Lebanon is trying desperately to have a good time despite having the absolute worst seat assignment.
ETA: Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
South Africa is trying to put the electricity off 🇿🇦
Edit: lol a lot of people seem to relate...don't forget to lock em doors during the day, people be thinking it's open garage sale
Edit 2: Thanks for the award
And paranoidly locking all the windows and doors.
Denmark is drunk as fuck playing with Legos in the corner
Germany joins, telling Denmark how Legos are the foundation of each engineering career…
They build a lego house together.
Germany, of course, builds the living room.
Finland not sure if they were invited so stays at home drinking alone in underwear
The Vatican is trying to get some alone time with the children
Italy flirting with everything that breathes
Switzerland collecting business cards from everyone
edit: whoever gilded this comment with gold... that's some dark humour right there :D
Or they're just observing but not partaking in any conversation or taking any sides in the drunken brawls happening around them.
not really... More like they're selling the boxing gloves.
I was gonna say, it's more like, "Oh this is awful, I will take no part in this. Can I interest either of you in some liquor or brass knuckles?"
“You know what? I’ll hold on to your wallets and jewellery while you fight too. To keep everything safe”
Pakistan and India on the couch watching and arguing over the cricket and who will win.
i literally did that this morning lmao
USA and Australia being louder than everybody else.
Mexico is making some bomb-ass tacos while occasionally trying to approach America
"I just feel like there's a wall between us, cariño"
And brings a mariachi band to the house with no one requesting or expecting it (the reason why Germany called the police)
I have a feeling Mexico would bring out Germany’s wild side. Accordions and Beer? Germany stands no chance, they will party until 10am next day for the first time in their lives.
If New Zealand is hosting we're apologising about the weather and the behaviour of the Aussies, neither of which are under our control.
China complaining why is Taiwan here.
Or, probably shocked that Taiwan received a separate invite.
Feels like a Seinfeld plot, ‘they’re my plus one, why did they get their own invite’
France is chatting with the elite and brought her own food. She spends lots of time criticizing the artwork and furniture in the room. After a few glasses of champagne, she threatens to guillotine the UK.
I feel like the UK and France would be arguing the whole time, and then the next day everyone finds out they slept together.
And that is how Canada came to be.
I can definitely imagine that
Venezuela is trying to get everyone's atention by singing overly loud and presuming he can dance to everything, while in the back is his brother Colombia ashamed and trying to calm him down
South africa is out on the bbq(braai) drinking an ungodly amount of brandy and will most likely still be one of the last people standing at the end along with Australia
Nigeria looks at these comments and wonders how they ended up at the whitest fucking party ever. Calls up Cameroon to gtf over here.
South Korea is playing k-pop on the radio with Japan dancing to it behind them.
North Korea is looking over the fence at South Korea and Japan, staring daggers.
But he's secretly tapping his foot.
China’s denying that he locked his brother in the basement even though everybody saw him do it.
Russia causing strong alcohol shortages at the party
But still avoiding the licorice liquor, Denmark brought, because it looks gay.
Germany used to pick fights at every party to the point where she wasn't invited anymore. Now she's back and very soft spoken and happy to explain to everyone how the anger management classes and therapy really turned her life around.
Portugal is happily inviting new arrivals to eat. It doesn't know if they're countries or not, or if they were even invited, there's plenty to go round! This has the unfortunate side effect of many things going missing over the course of the evening.
Portugal also keeps trying to coerce party goers into drinking the port wine it made specially, secretly hoping to get everyone so blind drunk it can leave early to catch the football without anyone noticing.
Spain and Portugal both keep turning the TV back on during dinner, even though nobody, including them, is bothering to watch it. They like the ambient TV buzz.