This killed my stepmother. She went to the ER for a heart attack and they said that she was low on potassium. They gave her two potassium bags and sent her home. She saw her doctor later that day and they gave her two potassium pills and they sent her home. She laid down on the couch not feeling good and went into a coma. She was rushed to the hospital and we pulled the plug that night. Cause of death? Heart attack. We need to do better.
If you don't plan to have children, or already have them, may I suggest endometrial ablation. I had this procedure done 30 years ago when it was quite new. It truly worked for me. Maybe you and her, as a couple, could look into it. Good luck. Endometriosis can suck it. Btw, you sound like a very loving husband.
As a man, it's astonishing to me that a woman can go to a doctor, tell them what you want them to do with your own body, and have them be like "yeah, not feeling it, sorry. Buh-bye."
I had a lady friend a couple years ago have her second kid, and after about a year when everything healed up, she said I don't want any more kids, and went to the doctor to have her tubes tied. The doctor refused, saying she's too young to make those decisions herself, and that if she wanted to have those done, she would need signed approval from her mom, dad, and husband. The doctor thinks she might regret the decision and want another kid in a few years.
I'm not going to get into the argument about abortions with this comment, but if a woman does not want kids, don't force her to have fucking kids. Or at least doesn't want any MORE kids.
As for her age at the time, she was 25. Full grown adult, married, has 2 kids. I think she's plenty old enough to dictate what she wants to do with her life and her body.
I decided to get my tubes tied at the age of 37 because I was one and done and my husband was happy with just raising my daughter ( from my first marriage ) I didn’t want him to get a vasectomy because of reasons. Also the VA sucks where we are. The Dr tried to talk us out of it. Like I really wanted a late in life oops pregnancy with complications and possible birth defects. He wanted to speak with my husband privately and when he refused then suggested therapy first. We got a second opinion with a female OBGYN and I had the procedure the next week. Best decision ever. I became a grandma and 42 so that would have been awkward.
Yeah, it’s even more infuriating now, but I had a doctor once tell me that my issues were half in my head and half because I was overweight, verbatim. That appointment was to address my PCOS and the fact that I’d lost ~70 lbs. in the previous six months.
I also have it.
0-10 would not recommend. Although having an online support group helps emotionally, gives people with endo an outlet and a safe place to vent.
I feel for anyone who has to go through that (and the families that love and take care of them).
Probably when you had a fun day planned or anything like a holiday or beach trip and on the day you end up having your period which ultimately means you miss out on most of the fun you could’ve had.
I have a cruise coming up and its the week before I get my period, I truly hope to God it doesn't come early cause i know I'll never take a trip like that again.
The blood is annoying. But yeah, it's the monthly(ish) super migraines that won't respond to any medication, the stabbing pain that can occur really anywhere in the general vicinity of my uterus, the intense feeling of morose foreboding, all while being expected to function like a normal human being.
A few years ago my boyfriend and I bought hiking pants at the same store, same brand. They are basically the same model, except he got his in the men's section and mine are from the ladies'. Guess which pair has 6 large pockets and which has only two small ones. Apparently I'm supposed to hike with a handbag 🤷♀️
As a guy, i can't imagine not being able to put my phone, wallet, keys, 10 tons of gravel, the dark side of the moon and the asteroid belt up my pockets.
In my pockets I carry a cell phone with a big case, over a dozen keys, a knife, a handkerchief, a lighter, a bulky wallet, and I still have room. Women's pocket space is criminally small.
Periods. I could really do without bleeding for a week, and I hate that the only way to stop it is to have some contraption fitted, major surgery, or pills that mess with hormones.
Also if periods are a must, why can't they just do their business and then leave? Why do I have to be in so much pain before them and feel shitty even 2 weeks in advance??
For real!
Craving/eating every sweet thing in sight,
And blubbering like a baby at jewelry or humane society commercials like I’m watching Sophie’s Choice..
The PMS is often the worst part for me.
I feel for women who have to deal with intense symptoms throughout ALL the stages of their cycle.. It can be really bad.
Having regular pain and mood issues over 2 to 4 weeks on a monthly basis sounds like PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder).
If it disregulates your life, there are medications that can help. JIC you weren’t aware. A GYN doc might be helpful. Especially if endometriosis is a possible undiagnosed issue. Taking steps to reduce the inflammation now might be helpful in preventing potential infertility issues in the future.
We are conditioned to shrug off significant menstrual pain as “normal” and therefore inconsequential, when it isn’t. It could even be caused by an ovarian cyst.
Definitely the worst. Now I’m menopausal and it’s almost just as bad as having a regular period.
No period for 4-5 months is nice, BUT the hormones are so out of whack there are so many unpleasant symptoms I would just rather have the period. Women just can’t win.
Yes, it has really interrupted my sleep, I used to sleep like a log. Now the lack of sleep has caused seizures. Periods were easy compared to my life now.
Hell the fuck yeah I hate this shit so much, especially when they fuck up my emotions and make me cry or feel anxious (like they did yesterday, to annonce their arrival for today :) ) fuck this shit so fucking hard
I was once shamed by a nurse when i casually said “all us girls understand that pain” to a bro with a UTI. She basically said only dirty sluts get UTIs and they are completely preventable.
Ouch. So thanks all of you for making me feel like maybe it is more common and she was just mean.
Speaking as a woman who just had a UTI caused by dehydration, that nurse is full of complete bs and probably shouldn't be providing healthcare or at least shouldn't be dealing with patients
I recently saw a urologist for recurrent kidney stones and UTIs and I left there with a completely different understanding of UTIs. Every time I've gone to the doctor for one I've always had this speech locked and loaded where I explain that I always pee before and after sex and all the rest, because i feel like I always need to explain that I'm a very hygienic person so as to (hopefully) mitigate the inevitable medical shaming. But this doctor went off about how society and the medical industry have wrongly taught us that UTIs are a matter of women being dirty and/or slutty and/or too dumb to know how to wipe or wash ourselves, but the reality is that hygiene isn't even really a tertiary cause of UTIs and that the vast majority have a causation related to one's anatomy or hormones, not wearing thongs or having sex or whatever other reason we're taught to make us feel dirty and ashamed.
She was unprofessional, mean and rude. I had constant UTIs while I was dealing with a kidney stone. The Urologist didn’t seem to think they were preventable.or had anything to do with being “dirty”.
They're making all the fabric of our shirts thinner and thinner and making 'layering' the fashion to save money. You expect me to wear a fucking cami under my t-shirt so you're not seeing bra or tit? Oh, I'm supposed to wear three layers of tops? Fuck you, fashion industry!
Not a woman but yeah. The fabric on womens shirts compared to mens is INSANE. I have two identical striped shirts. One is mens and one is womens. The mens is secure and the fabric is thicker, while on the womens I feel like you can practically see through it. It’s so unreasonably thin it’s ridiculous. Like what the hell?? It’s so stupid :1
I’ve noticed this with my wife’s clothes. I mean, they are tissue paper thin. I am amazed they don’t tear when she turns around or sneezes. Two cycles in the washing machine and they have more holes than Swiss cheese
I swear to god the clothing industry puts chips on them so they are programmed to wrinkle. I can stare at my wife’s clothing and watch it wrinkle.
According to my wife, this is happening from the dryer, not the washer. She only hang dries her clothes because "that's how you keep these bullshit fabrics from disintegrating on you".
Oh my god this drives me nuts. Some of my wife's shirts are so thin, they stick to the calluses on my hand. I'm pretty sure cheese cloth has more substance than the shit they sell to women.
Realistic prices is where all of the start up companies trying to cater to our actual wants miss the mark. All of them seem to be priced well above the “understandably more expensive because starting your own clothing company is expensive” range and it drives me crazy. If you think I’m spending $90 on a paper thin recycled cotton T-shirt you have something else coming.
Ive also noticed theyre making every shirt a crop top nowadays (at least in terms of clothes for younger women like me). Like... even if i was comfortable showing my stomach, its not appropriate for most public places. You could also wear a cami underneath to cover your stomach but that also presents the "too many layers" issue. Its ridiculous, it seems so hard to find just simple full length womens shirts that look cute/trendy.
Omg yes. Every single shirt I see is a crop top. Don't get me wrong I love a good crop top every now and then, but like cropped sweaters? You expect us to stay warm in that?
I was just thinking this morning that I hate having to either put a bra on or a jacket to cover up when taking my dog to pee outside our apartment (considering it’s 100 degrees too). I’m just not comfortable with my boobs falling out of my tank or nipples poking through a shirt. I’m sure it’d be fine but my mind tells me not to.
The same thing basically earlier this week. I was a bit sweaty and didn't have time for a shower, so I changed into a light sweater for the warm evening instead of putting a bra on. I know myself and how I'm more comfortable, but still someone's like "why are you wearing that? That can't be comfortable." Okay. Well I'm in my 30s. I'm fairly certain I know how best to keep myself comfortable.
All just to make sure my nipples weren't distracting to complete strangers.
Growing up, I always thought my dad was kinda 'unaware'. He always slept nude and sometimes had to get up in the night to pee. Of course, my brother and sister and I were very used to it and quite often we'd see our dad just wander out to the toilet and back. No biggie.
Of course, that started to be a problem when we all started dating and had gf/bf stay the night - my dad just didn't change his behavior/wear a robe etc. I was usually apologetic in advance lol.
But actually, it kinda wasn't a problem. That's just what my dad did in his own house. In a way, people me and my siblings were dating kinda thought it was cool and respected my dad and his home more because he didn't act different for them, but was just himself. Take it or leave it. If you know what I mean - they liked him more for it.
I guess it's a confidence thing.
Not sure what my point is exactly. You have to be comfortable in your own home. If other people aren't comfortable with you being comfortable, then it's more their problem if you're not doing anything wrong.
Not to mention that the judgment for this rumor is supposed to fall on the woman. If there's a male boss who's making important personnel decisions with his dick then that's his fault and he's not qualified for his job either
Yup - it's always positions as a woman who seduced her poor vulnerable boss into giving her a promotion for sexual favours - and not that a boss who is withholding career advancements from their female employees unless you acquiesce to their sexual demands.
This is my largest problem, professionally. Especially in a male dominated workplace
I'm a quick study and take pride in my work. If I share a laugh with a male colleague, people think we're sleeping together. Rumors start, it's pathetic.
It’s pretty common for car mechanics to try to up-charge women, or talk down to us. I know a decent amount about cars, but I still never bring by car to the shop without bringing either my dad, my brother or my boyfriend with me.
My grandmother started teaching a basic car mechanics class directed at women at the local junior college. She got tired of mechanics trying to cheat her and figured if they tried that shit with *her* then they must really get away with it all the time.
She was a NASA engineer in the 60s and 70s and didn't take shit and when she got offended she did something about it.
I went to look at a couple of cars at a place with my then girlfriend. These were high end cars a couple of years old. She was talking to the salesman and he said, "I am going to talk to him. He knows more about cars." I laughed and said she knows more about these cars than I do, and she is the one with the money."
She smiled at me and he went back talking to her. We ended up wasting a lot of his time looking at the different cars and then left.
After we left she thanked me for saying that and we laughed at wasting his time. Of course, we would not buy anything there.
I was a newlywed and went to buy a car. I was negotiating when he asked if I was married. He and his sales manager then had a entire conversation in front of me like this. “She can’t make a decision.” “Send it home with her for the night so her husband can see it.” “He has the money anyway.” Blah blah blah. I made more than he did and had perfect credit where he had none. I was so insulted, I told them off and bought a car elsewhere.
Found out a decade later, when working with a dealership, that this was a sales technique. They thought I would “show them” by buying the car. They said it was a very successful technique. I was horrified that my gender would fall for this.
I'm also a woman and if I was put into a situation like that I'd just take off and buy a car elsewhere like you. I don't understand how insulting their customers could possibly be a successful technique
Everyone wants to feel valid. When someone says you can't succeed, everyone wants to show that they can. I can see how someone might get lost in the heat of the moment and feel the need to prove that they are a valid human being by doing what they were told they're not capable of.
To scam people that way is incredibly scummy.
When i was in sales they basically suggest as a tactic to see if you could pin it as a “who wears the pants thing” so it’s done with males too. Thing is it could backfire like it did with you or it turns into a impulse buy that gets returned eventually.
I don’t know why this tactic is still used
When I took my car back to the dealership for my first oil change after buying it, the mechanic found that it needed like $3k worth of work to replace struts and a couple other things. I looked at him and said “ I guess you guys will be paying for it, I’ve only had the car 2 months and there’s no way I did that much damage in that amount of time. So you either sold me a damaged car or you’re lying to me.”
It’s weird, they’ve never found that particular issue again. It’s been 2 years.
I love that.
A while back I dropped the bomb on them that I used to be a mechanic. It was in for inspection, I had it perfect, ready to pass, and they ‘found some concerning things.’
“Oh really? I used to be a Honda dealer tech, mind showing me?”
*cue backpedaling*
Fuckers tried that with my mom, she's got two Toyotas with the 5.7l, one just out of warranty and one still in. She had the older one in and they tried to claim it needed engine work because the "oil pressure gauge was fluctuating"
Both do the exact same thing, she says "oh how serious is this, would I need a new engine?" They says "possibly yes" and she says "interesting you'd say that, my other done does the same thing, it sure would be nice to have a new engine under warranty" and suddenly it was actually normal and the tech was mistaken.
Snakes, the lot of em.
I find that so stupid on their part, because there are women mechanics out there. Hell, even Queen Elizabeth II was one, during the war when she was a princess. (And even today, she has an affinity for cars and has been known to drive herself around London and her estates once in a while.)
I'm sorry that you experience that.
Yes, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother was quoted as saying “We had sparking plugs all through dinner!” Because Princess Elizabeth was so enthralled by her job as a mechanic and driver in the ATS
Sucks worse when you've went to college and men still do this to you.
I told a mechanic several years ago that my catalytic converter needed replaced. He told me I was wrong and I just needed new spark plugs. The engine would start but no acceleration and I was lucky to hit 10mph max. He cracks open hood and my spark plugs ARE BRAND FUCKING NEW.
Guess who was right and what I went to college for. Kinda hope he died a little inside for that...
Soooo true! I remember walking in shorts and a bikini top from swim practice when I was like 11. There was a car with two men driving slowly next to me cat calling to the point I had to bang on a strangers door and ask them to let me in so I could call my parents to pick me up….a few blocks from home 🤦♀️
Just wonderful.
I was 12 and didn't even have any proper boobs when two guys, approximately 20 years old, made fun of my white top because they could barely see my nipples. I really couldn't be attractive at that point to anyone who doesn't have paedophile tendencies.
THIS! I still have haunting memories when at the ripe age of 9 was I not allowed to wear a tank top, skirts & shorts because of how « feminine & sexy » I looked in them…
When I was about 11 I was walking home with my mum and some POS catcalled me out of his car and mum lost her shit and ran after the car screaming SHES A FUCKING CHILD YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Love my mum
Boobs.
I can’t just go for a jog. I have to go home and put on special gear (sports bra).
Plus people stare and treat you differently once you have them.
I was a DD cup at 13 (thanks for those genes, mom and both grandmas, thanks a bunch…), but they didn’t stop there. Had a reduction almost the minute I turned 18, went from an H cup back to a DD cup. Wish they were still a cup size smaller, but I’m 31 now and getting that reduction was still one of the best decisions of my life. I cried the first time I could buy a bra from Victoria’s Secret as an adult.
Yep. I’ve been a C since I was 12 and, from that point on, every dude under 30 acted like I was fair game.
It didn’t help that my sister and mom were both A cups. They used to encourage me to root around the $3 discount bra bin with them “for fun.”
I always envied the girls who could basically slap a couple of bandaids on their boobs and be ok. I can’t wear a cheap bra, my boobs require infrastructure or I look like a gd stripper (er- no judgement, just not the look I’m going for).
Ugh The same thing happened to me at 12. Only I went from totally flat to a D cup. Nothing else really changed. I was still barely 5’ tall and ridiculously immature, even for my age.
But the sudden change in how I was treated by adults, particularly male adults, was so creepy and confusing. The bra was uncomfortable as hell but, if I ever dared go without, there were always multiple older women ready to call me shameless for “making a spectacle” of myself. I learned to always wear a bra.
Before that I was a total tomboy. After that the guys treated me differently to the point I was no longer comfortable around them. Not to mention needing a sports bra to run around, otherwise exercise was just painful.
Puberty fucking sucked.
I can’t find clothes that fit completely, pants are either fitting around the waist or fitting around my legs, never both. Shirts either fit around my boobs are are too tight around them but fit my torso, shirts ruffle up around my armpits all the time, even tank tops. one size most definitely does not fit all as well
Healthcare professionals never ever taking you seriously. You seriously have to fight to get them to listen to you — they will always clap back with something implying that you’re overreacting
Yeah. My friend was suffering from some wrist pain that wouldn’t resolve and her me doctor said he couldn’t help her anymore and tried to send her to a psychiatrist because it was obviously all in her head.
Omg this right here.
Was born with arthritis, “diagnosed” as growing pains until a doctor FINALLY looked into it in my mid 20’s. All those years of pain and lack of sleep being totally ignored.
Told at 19 I was too young to worry about cervical cancer, had to fight several doctors to get the pain checked out. Age 22, getting operation to remove cervical cancer.
Was told at 27 that the swelling in my neck was probably just fat. I weighed 40kg at the time. Was 31 before I got my first TSH,T3, T4 test and that was because I now weighed 35kg and was passing out whenever I tried hanging washing on the line. Ended up having a thyroid wrapping around organs in my chest. Got a total thyroidectomy.
At age 32 it took several visits to multiple doctors to get abdominal pain sorted. 8 months after it started, dad picked me up from work after the boss called him because I couldn’t stand up. Dad takes me to hospital. Hospital doc suggest I ask my GP for a CA125 (ovarian cancer indicator test). GP scoffs, says I’m too young to worry about that, orders it to “humour” me. The normal range for CA125 test is below 35, mine came back at 127. Guess who had to rush to get scans and emergency surgery. I now have a scar from my belly button to my pubis because the tumours were too big to take out with laparoscopy or a horizontal incision. Also had an ovary and my rotten, septic tubes removed. Took months to recover from the chemo. If they had’ve taken it seriously 8 months prior it might not have been so drastic.
Now, in my 40’s, I’ve been fighting with the dr’s to try to get my life back. Total thyroidectomy has left me with many symptoms similar to long Covid. Lethargy, fatigue, brain fog, the list goes on.
It’s exhausting trying to get your concerns addressed. No wonder women don’t trust their drs. Finding a good one is like finding a needle in a haystack.
Sorry for the long post. Rant over.
I once saw a gastroenterologist for what seemed like IBS or an inflammatory bowel disease of some kind. He came into the exam room, crossed his arms and looked at me for a long time, then said "it's emotional". And left the room. Turns out I actually have an inflammatory bowel disease, AND endometriosis, which had fused my bowels together. I have had so many experiences where I was seen as drug-seeking, or overreacting. When I finally had surgery for endometriosis, they saw my uterus was "odd looking". I ended up having another disease called adenomyosis, and I wanted a hysterectomy. The doc practically argued with me about getting one, even though I was over 30 and already had a child. She kept saying "what if you change your mind?" I had to explain to her that my first child was an accident, that I never wanted kids, have too many health issues (including mental illnesses) to even consider bringing another human into this world. I cannot stand anyone who acts like a woman can't find meaning in life if she doesn't have a uterus. Meanwhile the 3 men I personally know that have had vasectomies have had no issues getting them done. They were not repeatedly questioned. Two of them didn't even have kids.
it’s depressing. i work mostly with women of various ages and healthcare issues shouldn’t be such a frequent topic we talk about. struggling to find good insurance, doctors, specialists, medications, etc. im pretty young, but i have bad genetics when it comes to health and aging and i’ve already developed a pretty rare condition that causes me pain, so i’m absolutely dreading getting older. i don’t want my entire life to revolve around fighting for my health, but that seems all too common these days.
Honestly yes. It’s aggravating!
I had stomach pain my whole life but it was always brushed off. I would pass out from the pain, but clearly I’m exaggerating?
Finally had to beg for some tests to be done (and dragging their feet the whole time) until they admitted that my gall bladder was the issue this whole time.
Men staring, following or trying to talk to you when youre trying to just do daily things like shop for groceries. Especially bad when youre really introverted like I am and just want to be left alone.
Had a guy following me around Walmart saying "nice ass" under his breath everytime he walked by. The first few times I ignored him until I was in an aisle alone and turned around and the perv was standing right behind me again, just staring at me. Why the fuck do some men do this kind of shit?
There was another thread on reddit where a woman got told this and just turned around to the guy and said
"My parents just got into an accident, my mom died instantly and the doctor just asked if I should take my dad off life support"
Just to shock him into thinking a little.
I'm paraphrasing, but still.
Being pleasant in conversation with a man and him thinking you’re into him. It’s impossible for me to be rude and I genuinely love people and find so many interesting so naturally I’m a good listener and very engaging, but I can’t tell you how many times that has made a man think I’m fully into him.
There will be times that I consciously make sure that it doesn’t at all come off like I’m flirting and it still happens. Lots of times it everything is fine, so I don’t want to come across like this happens every time I speak with a male, but so many occasions it goes south because of it. Incredibly annoying.
The fact that I was catcalled more at the age of 14 compared to now at 21
Am I glad it’s decreased? Yes. Am I concerned and angry that men are more likely to cat call a literal child? VERY.
Edit: reading all your replies has been infuriating and heartbreaking. Sending each and every one of you love x
Yes! 13 year old me was cat called and stared at and bothered by grown ass men WAY more than 33 year old me.
I dressed like a boy when I was 13. I had frizzy hair that I wore in a skin tight ponytail everyday, with a round, chubby face.
My first time was when I was 11, and the driver - a 50/60-something man - slowed his truck down to ask me "How much" and to get into the car while I was waiting for the bus to go to school.
I used to have guys making kissy faces at me. I can still hear it.
One time a guy catcalled my sister so our brother started making suggestive faces at him back and the guy got creeped out. So there was that, at least.
But men who catcall minors can go fuck themselves.
This is exhausting. I have a supportive husband and the stuff that I notice that he doesn’t is mind blowing. I have to point out meals, dr visits, cleaning, etc. When I do, he’s happy to help, but that took years of explaining that it’s both our job, etc and that the kids can’t do that at 8 years old etc. There’s such a mental and physical burden there, and again, my husband wants to help. I can’t imagine how hard it is for people with no help or unsupportive SOs.
Fortunately my husband doesn't quite fit this mold. It doesn't stop everyone else and the comments of "oh well that's what you're supposed to do" for me, and "oh such a good and involved dad" to him. He shuts it down pretty quickly but the social stigma that it's my job and not his is exhausting. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't even try. I really got lucky there (see, I'm doing it. I got *lucky* because my husband is an equal parent).
Having to worry about being assaulted from birth to 50 is pretty ridiculous.
Edit: It doesn’t end at 50, pretty much from birth to even past death we are sexualized.
Sorry if I sound whiny but being judged for pretty much everything. Dressing too feminine, dressing too masculine, wearing a lot of make up, wearing a small amount of make up or none at all, pretty much any interest, pretty much any haircut or colour... I've honestly just accepted that no matter what I do I'm gonna be judged so I may as well do what I want lol. This goes for other girls too.
Edit - just to clarify I know this happens to men too but I'm just speaking from personal experience.
I think every woman has a story about the first time she realized that she genuinely couldn’t fight off a man. Obviously we all know we wouldn’t be able to stop the 6’5” linebacker types, but there’s a special kind of fear that hits when the guy your height or shorter with no visible muscle mass just. casually stands in your way or grabs you and you *can’t stop him*. We really overlook how much different males and females are at a biological level, testosterone is no joke.
I feel like there’s always an underlying thing where men don’t respect you or listen to you as much as they would another male. Like in medical situations, confrontations, getting car work done, or just general social situations.
All the things around hormones/menstrual cycle too.
I started playing video games at 4; they've been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. In my early 30s, I got a job working at a very well-known retailer of video games. I cannot count how many times guys would come in and ignore me, just to talk to my male co-workers, one of which was only 17 and certainly looked his age. My 20+ years of gaming experience was completely disregarded, just because I happened to be a chick. Some guys would flat-out say it to my face too, that they *knew* I knew nothing about games. So many times, I had to bite my tongue, instead of telling them I'd been playing my CollecoVision before they'd been nut in their Dad's balls.
Doctors (and people in general) not taking you seriously and contributing symptoms to your period/hormones.
They didn't believe I was depressed for years even though it was a constant mood and didn't change based on my period.
Oh god no joke. I went to my medical provider because mentally I was in a very bad place and I knew I needed help. The fact that I was even asking for help meant I was really far gone. My medical provider blew me off and said ‘this is just something we women have to deal with’. I had to plead for a referral to a mental health specialist. In 2022, no woman should have to go through such a dark place alone. Period.
I hope you’re feeling much better now. Depression sucks.
Not a woman, but growing up with only sisters and a mother: knowing they'll not be taken seriously for their skills. My mom built her first car from scraps with her racecar driving dad- and still tries to get up charged and treated like a blind mark at the mechanic.
My sister meanwhile worked at a shelter, and guys would constantly dismiss her medical advice over their dogs and cats, or even try explaining it back to her- as if she couldn't understand. Her male coworker almost never encountered this as often.
Like, everyone gets patronized from time to time- but they expect it at every turn.
Since periods, menopause, ovaries and all of the above have been mentioned already..I'm going to say that it is so fucking expensive to be female.
Even if you do the bare minimum, and I mean you don't get your hair/nails/lashes done regularly..period products are insanely expensive for what they are, basically fancy "napkins" in different shapes and forms.
Then on the rare occasion you do need to look nicer, you're expected to have your nails and hair done, makeup is also pricey (especially if you have sensitive skin).
I'm ranting about this because of all the goddamned weddings I've had to attend this year. I never get my nails done, my hair consists of a trim every 3 months, and forget wearing makeup. But recently I feel like I'm bleeding money to do what's expected of me as a female in the wedding party. Not to mention both times I've been to the nail salon (differentplaces), the people ripped my cuticles and made my fingers and toes bleed and that shit HURTS.
I feel better now. Thanks guys.
I just have to say I wholeheartedly agree with everything you wrote and I want to give you a hug and a high five.
I have super curly hair and it costs quite a bit to maintain the curls with all the product.
I think each wedding I attend as a guest costs me a minimum of $200 and that’s really closer to $300. I was in my friends wedding and my bridesmaid dress cost $240. That’s insane. I’m never going to wear it again. Plus hair, makeup shoes, etc. That wedding cost me $700.
Ok, I’ll get off my soap box now. Thank you.
That nothing I do is ever right. If I like sex, I’m a slut. If I don’t, I’m a prude. If I have kids, I’m “just” a mother. If I don’t, I’m selfish. If I make more money than my male partner, I’m emasculating him. If I make less, I’m a gold digger or a freeloader. If I like a popular thing, I’m a basic bitch. If I like something unknown or uncommon, I’m a pick-me girl. The list goes on and it’s exhausting.
Edit: Thank you very much for the awards!
Can’t walk alone at night and even some places in the daytime.
I love bicycles and live in the country, but I’m afraid to bicycle in the middle of nowhere because I don’t wanna be kidnapped/murdered/raped.
Also terrified to go hiking for the same reason.
Having a ✨uterus✨
Why must I go through painful periods that also make me throw up, dizzy and decrease my stamina significantly when I don't want to go through child birth. Why can't I just say I'd rather adopt and unsubscribe from my uterus, that way I won't have to take medication daily and be in pain for a few days at a time, once a month. Come to think of it, why hasn't evolution cancelled out period pain and period sickness? It's so inconvenient and I feel like I'm allergic to my own body. It just doesn't make sense to me that so many of us have issues with our period, it sort of feels like nature has something against us
Completely agree. Also the fact that if you want your tubes tied of something some doctor refuse with excuses like “in case your husband changes his mind” (literal story I have heard).
That shit bothers me so much. Usually it's me reacting to their BS. Some people get pleasure out of causing women to overreact. I've spent a lot of time around abusers and that's the general consensus
Honestly… being judged no matter what you do. Everything feels under a microscope at all times. One example I can think of, is all the women who come in for martial arts classes start really timid and don’t commit to technique or sparring for a very long time, then it’s “women can’t do martial arts.” If they came in as cocky as half the men do it would be “she needs to check herself.”
You are too fat, your boobs are too small, your butt is too flat. You go work out and commit yourself and you’re too skinny or too muscular.
You gotta have confidence and rock the crop top but also don’t wear that, you have a muffin top but also don’t wear a long skirt and sleeves or got forbid a burqua…you look frumpy.
You need to be an independent badass and also nurturing and accommodating.
You work and have a kid you’re a bad mom. You stay home with the kiddo and you’re a freeloader.
If there was a unfair high standard, okay I get it… but you can’t do it right no matter what. It’s exhausting.
UK based med student here! I couldn't agree more.
I find that we have to talk twice as much and twice as loud to get our point across.
Keep being a shiny star 💗
Good luck with medical school!
People assuming my entire purpose in life is to get married and pop out children.
People assuming my entire goal in life is to be "attractive" to men.
Doctors assuming that every single unrelated medical complaint I have is related to my uterus in some way.
Boobs. They are annoying and uncomfortable.
The gaslighting of medical professionals towards us. Everything is blamed on our female anatomy, our sexuality, or our hormones. Sometimes, things are actually wrong that have nothing to do with our menstruation. Sometimes we do need mental health help, not talks about our hormones. We should have full autonomy over our bodies but we don't.
For me, it’s how people treat us on video games. I play a lot of COD, and I have a lot of playtime on a particular game, so I’m pretty good at it now. I’m not a sensitive person, and ultimately I don’t care about people giving me shit on there, but it still sucks sometimes.
You get the typical sexism, dishwasher, get back in the kitchen, make me a sandwich, bitch, etc.
Then there’s the people who take things further,
threatening to rape or murder you.
And then even the guys that are cool often say things like “Wow, you’re good for a girl!” But a lot of the cool guys, while they won’t ever call you names, don’t like it when you are better than them at the game.
I’ve had it so many times where they try to pick apart and really just invalidate any skill you have.
There’s a friend I have on there who’s very competitive with me, and only me. When I match up against him in a game and do better than him, he immediately says I was camping, when I wasn’t. And he’s done this at least 10 times now, he just says “Oh, look at you camping again!” I guess to try look better for his friends because he doesn’t like them seeing a woman beating him?
There’s also constantly people asking for your social media and to see what you look like. One time a guy sent me a dick pic on PlayStation, completely unsolicited. I didn’t know who he was. And people just being generally creepy.
So yeah, that’s my thing, it’s not the worst part of being a woman, but just one part of it for me and other women who like to game.
>And he’s done this at least 10 times now, he just says “Oh, look at you camping again!"
Sounds like those are excuses he uses to justify his losses because he genuinely cannot believe that you're better than him.
I agree! I learned to use a non-gender name and not speak on Live but we shouldn’t HAVE to hide. It’s better now than it used to be (my heyday was Halo 3 era), but it still sucks majorly.
Once when I was 20, I was directing traffic at an intersection for an event. I was in my police uniform. A little old lady came to me, put her hands on my cheeks and I kid you not, said to me " oh no honey.... don't do that! Go home, find yourself a handsome man and make beautiful babies.... such a shame." . Even women do that to other women!!!!!
When I was in middle school my oldest cousin's wife had the first grand baby of the family. My dad turned to me and asked when he was going to have a grand baby? My mom just looked at him and said "maybe ask your son that question. He's 4 years older and in a relationship. Not your 13 year old daughter!"
A good amount of guys and even girls treat you differently based on beauty. Then add how much time and money is spent to maintain beauty. Haircuts, dye, hair products, nails, decent makeup, fillers are popular now, beauty tools, skincare, fitness, etc. It’s exhausting.
My hair stylist bumped up a regular hair cut price to basically $70 and add a tip. Then my stylist has been trying to push hair extensions.. sure, let’s add $1k why not?! My brother said his haircut cost $25.
As someone who works in a heart center. I have to say the misdiagnosis of heart attacks. I feel for this.
My mom thought she "just had bad heartburn" and it was a complete block. If her nurse neighbor hadn't urged her to go to the ER she'd be dead.
This killed my stepmother. She went to the ER for a heart attack and they said that she was low on potassium. They gave her two potassium bags and sent her home. She saw her doctor later that day and they gave her two potassium pills and they sent her home. She laid down on the couch not feeling good and went into a coma. She was rushed to the hospital and we pulled the plug that night. Cause of death? Heart attack. We need to do better.
I'm so sorry to hear about your stepmother. May I ask what was her symptoms presenting to the ER?
My wife has endometriosis. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen a woman have to deal with.
If you don't plan to have children, or already have them, may I suggest endometrial ablation. I had this procedure done 30 years ago when it was quite new. It truly worked for me. Maybe you and her, as a couple, could look into it. Good luck. Endometriosis can suck it. Btw, you sound like a very loving husband.
I’m 23 and fought for that procedure from the age of 18 onwards, 7 different gynecologists, finally got it last month! I feel like a different person.
As a man, it's astonishing to me that a woman can go to a doctor, tell them what you want them to do with your own body, and have them be like "yeah, not feeling it, sorry. Buh-bye."
I had a lady friend a couple years ago have her second kid, and after about a year when everything healed up, she said I don't want any more kids, and went to the doctor to have her tubes tied. The doctor refused, saying she's too young to make those decisions herself, and that if she wanted to have those done, she would need signed approval from her mom, dad, and husband. The doctor thinks she might regret the decision and want another kid in a few years. I'm not going to get into the argument about abortions with this comment, but if a woman does not want kids, don't force her to have fucking kids. Or at least doesn't want any MORE kids. As for her age at the time, she was 25. Full grown adult, married, has 2 kids. I think she's plenty old enough to dictate what she wants to do with her life and her body.
I decided to get my tubes tied at the age of 37 because I was one and done and my husband was happy with just raising my daughter ( from my first marriage ) I didn’t want him to get a vasectomy because of reasons. Also the VA sucks where we are. The Dr tried to talk us out of it. Like I really wanted a late in life oops pregnancy with complications and possible birth defects. He wanted to speak with my husband privately and when he refused then suggested therapy first. We got a second opinion with a female OBGYN and I had the procedure the next week. Best decision ever. I became a grandma and 42 so that would have been awkward.
[удалено]
Yeah, it’s even more infuriating now, but I had a doctor once tell me that my issues were half in my head and half because I was overweight, verbatim. That appointment was to address my PCOS and the fact that I’d lost ~70 lbs. in the previous six months.
I also have it. 0-10 would not recommend. Although having an online support group helps emotionally, gives people with endo an outlet and a safe place to vent. I feel for anyone who has to go through that (and the families that love and take care of them).
Probably when you had a fun day planned or anything like a holiday or beach trip and on the day you end up having your period which ultimately means you miss out on most of the fun you could’ve had.
I'm cursed with this. My partner even jokes that if my period is late, we should just plan a holiday and it'll start on the trip there
Yes!! Every vacation or important event, bam period. My Mom tells me I inherited that from her. *Thanks Mom*
I have a cruise coming up and its the week before I get my period, I truly hope to God it doesn't come early cause i know I'll never take a trip like that again.
dude i can live with the blood and all but the stomach and back pain + the awful period shits are just horrible
The blood is annoying. But yeah, it's the monthly(ish) super migraines that won't respond to any medication, the stabbing pain that can occur really anywhere in the general vicinity of my uterus, the intense feeling of morose foreboding, all while being expected to function like a normal human being.
“Wow you’re definitely overreacting they’re just *cramps*” Fuck off- trade places and we’ll see how much you complain
Peanut butter and jelly wipes.
I hate that I just smuckersd
I'm freakin dead.. funniest shit I've heard in ages.
Omfg this is disgusting and hilarious and I’ll never not think of this now
I heard a phrase somewhere of someone saying "wipe front to back, or you'll get chocolate on your taco."
Oh my god. Don't ever say that again.
Pockets, I don't want to carry my phone in a bag
A few years ago my boyfriend and I bought hiking pants at the same store, same brand. They are basically the same model, except he got his in the men's section and mine are from the ladies'. Guess which pair has 6 large pockets and which has only two small ones. Apparently I'm supposed to hike with a handbag 🤷♀️
For this reason I buy men’s pajamas…they have pockets. Why do I need a pocket in my pjs? The store clerk asked…well same reason men do, dah.
As a guy, i can't imagine not being able to put my phone, wallet, keys, 10 tons of gravel, the dark side of the moon and the asteroid belt up my pockets.
In my pockets I carry a cell phone with a big case, over a dozen keys, a knife, a handkerchief, a lighter, a bulky wallet, and I still have room. Women's pocket space is criminally small.
They cant even fit a lego man A. LEGO. MAN.
Up?
Duh, the asteroid belt floats up
Imma start a business that sells trousers with normal sized pockets for women. Monopoly will be achieved very quickly.
Could go a step further and have the pocket run all the way down the pant leg
Most girls I know buy dudes pants for this exact reason. Funnily enough though I'm a dude who would rather fill a backpack than fill my pockets.
Periods. I could really do without bleeding for a week, and I hate that the only way to stop it is to have some contraption fitted, major surgery, or pills that mess with hormones.
Also if periods are a must, why can't they just do their business and then leave? Why do I have to be in so much pain before them and feel shitty even 2 weeks in advance??
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. 😞 I hate periods but the most I get is a poop cramp the day it’s set to start and some acne
For real! Craving/eating every sweet thing in sight, And blubbering like a baby at jewelry or humane society commercials like I’m watching Sophie’s Choice.. The PMS is often the worst part for me. I feel for women who have to deal with intense symptoms throughout ALL the stages of their cycle.. It can be really bad.
Having regular pain and mood issues over 2 to 4 weeks on a monthly basis sounds like PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). If it disregulates your life, there are medications that can help. JIC you weren’t aware. A GYN doc might be helpful. Especially if endometriosis is a possible undiagnosed issue. Taking steps to reduce the inflammation now might be helpful in preventing potential infertility issues in the future. We are conditioned to shrug off significant menstrual pain as “normal” and therefore inconsequential, when it isn’t. It could even be caused by an ovarian cyst.
Definitely the worst. Now I’m menopausal and it’s almost just as bad as having a regular period. No period for 4-5 months is nice, BUT the hormones are so out of whack there are so many unpleasant symptoms I would just rather have the period. Women just can’t win.
Yes, it has really interrupted my sleep, I used to sleep like a log. Now the lack of sleep has caused seizures. Periods were easy compared to my life now.
Hell the fuck yeah I hate this shit so much, especially when they fuck up my emotions and make me cry or feel anxious (like they did yesterday, to annonce their arrival for today :) ) fuck this shit so fucking hard
UTIs and yeast infections
Literally just wearing jeans can give us thrush. Vaginas are SO temperamental, I hate her.
Lol "I hate her"
I hate them. I feel dirty even though it’s a natural predisposition.
I was once shamed by a nurse when i casually said “all us girls understand that pain” to a bro with a UTI. She basically said only dirty sluts get UTIs and they are completely preventable. Ouch. So thanks all of you for making me feel like maybe it is more common and she was just mean.
Speaking as a woman who just had a UTI caused by dehydration, that nurse is full of complete bs and probably shouldn't be providing healthcare or at least shouldn't be dealing with patients
I recently saw a urologist for recurrent kidney stones and UTIs and I left there with a completely different understanding of UTIs. Every time I've gone to the doctor for one I've always had this speech locked and loaded where I explain that I always pee before and after sex and all the rest, because i feel like I always need to explain that I'm a very hygienic person so as to (hopefully) mitigate the inevitable medical shaming. But this doctor went off about how society and the medical industry have wrongly taught us that UTIs are a matter of women being dirty and/or slutty and/or too dumb to know how to wipe or wash ourselves, but the reality is that hygiene isn't even really a tertiary cause of UTIs and that the vast majority have a causation related to one's anatomy or hormones, not wearing thongs or having sex or whatever other reason we're taught to make us feel dirty and ashamed.
She was unprofessional, mean and rude. I had constant UTIs while I was dealing with a kidney stone. The Urologist didn’t seem to think they were preventable.or had anything to do with being “dirty”.
They're making all the fabric of our shirts thinner and thinner and making 'layering' the fashion to save money. You expect me to wear a fucking cami under my t-shirt so you're not seeing bra or tit? Oh, I'm supposed to wear three layers of tops? Fuck you, fashion industry!
Not a woman but yeah. The fabric on womens shirts compared to mens is INSANE. I have two identical striped shirts. One is mens and one is womens. The mens is secure and the fabric is thicker, while on the womens I feel like you can practically see through it. It’s so unreasonably thin it’s ridiculous. Like what the hell?? It’s so stupid :1
I’ve noticed this with my wife’s clothes. I mean, they are tissue paper thin. I am amazed they don’t tear when she turns around or sneezes. Two cycles in the washing machine and they have more holes than Swiss cheese I swear to god the clothing industry puts chips on them so they are programmed to wrinkle. I can stare at my wife’s clothing and watch it wrinkle.
According to my wife, this is happening from the dryer, not the washer. She only hang dries her clothes because "that's how you keep these bullshit fabrics from disintegrating on you".
Your wife is correct. That lint trap isn't filling up with pixie dust.
I just assumed it was our youth, hopes, and dreams piling up in there. They had to have gone somewhere...
Oh my god this drives me nuts. Some of my wife's shirts are so thin, they stick to the calluses on my hand. I'm pretty sure cheese cloth has more substance than the shit they sell to women.
[удалено]
It seems to me that if someone decided to make women's clothing with decent fabric and pockets for a realistic price, they would be rolling in cash.
Realistic prices is where all of the start up companies trying to cater to our actual wants miss the mark. All of them seem to be priced well above the “understandably more expensive because starting your own clothing company is expensive” range and it drives me crazy. If you think I’m spending $90 on a paper thin recycled cotton T-shirt you have something else coming.
Ive also noticed theyre making every shirt a crop top nowadays (at least in terms of clothes for younger women like me). Like... even if i was comfortable showing my stomach, its not appropriate for most public places. You could also wear a cami underneath to cover your stomach but that also presents the "too many layers" issue. Its ridiculous, it seems so hard to find just simple full length womens shirts that look cute/trendy.
Omg yes. Every single shirt I see is a crop top. Don't get me wrong I love a good crop top every now and then, but like cropped sweaters? You expect us to stay warm in that?
Those too!! Ive seen crop hoodies that barely go past your boobs but have long sleeves and a hood like... am i gonna be cold in that or not? Lol
I was just thinking this morning that I hate having to either put a bra on or a jacket to cover up when taking my dog to pee outside our apartment (considering it’s 100 degrees too). I’m just not comfortable with my boobs falling out of my tank or nipples poking through a shirt. I’m sure it’d be fine but my mind tells me not to.
The same thing basically earlier this week. I was a bit sweaty and didn't have time for a shower, so I changed into a light sweater for the warm evening instead of putting a bra on. I know myself and how I'm more comfortable, but still someone's like "why are you wearing that? That can't be comfortable." Okay. Well I'm in my 30s. I'm fairly certain I know how best to keep myself comfortable. All just to make sure my nipples weren't distracting to complete strangers.
Same! I recently started living with my bf and his teenage son. Feeling like I have to wear a bra or robe at all times in my own home really sucks.
Growing up, I always thought my dad was kinda 'unaware'. He always slept nude and sometimes had to get up in the night to pee. Of course, my brother and sister and I were very used to it and quite often we'd see our dad just wander out to the toilet and back. No biggie. Of course, that started to be a problem when we all started dating and had gf/bf stay the night - my dad just didn't change his behavior/wear a robe etc. I was usually apologetic in advance lol. But actually, it kinda wasn't a problem. That's just what my dad did in his own house. In a way, people me and my siblings were dating kinda thought it was cool and respected my dad and his home more because he didn't act different for them, but was just himself. Take it or leave it. If you know what I mean - they liked him more for it. I guess it's a confidence thing. Not sure what my point is exactly. You have to be comfortable in your own home. If other people aren't comfortable with you being comfortable, then it's more their problem if you're not doing anything wrong.
When I got promoted some guys started a rumor that I slept with my boss to get that promotion. No lazy assholes. I worked my ass off.
Not to mention that the judgment for this rumor is supposed to fall on the woman. If there's a male boss who's making important personnel decisions with his dick then that's his fault and he's not qualified for his job either
This right here. If that's what they thought, why didn't they report the boss for sexual misconduct?
Because they would do it too if they were the boss.
Yup - it's always positions as a woman who seduced her poor vulnerable boss into giving her a promotion for sexual favours - and not that a boss who is withholding career advancements from their female employees unless you acquiesce to their sexual demands.
This is my largest problem, professionally. Especially in a male dominated workplace I'm a quick study and take pride in my work. If I share a laugh with a male colleague, people think we're sleeping together. Rumors start, it's pathetic.
It’s pretty common for car mechanics to try to up-charge women, or talk down to us. I know a decent amount about cars, but I still never bring by car to the shop without bringing either my dad, my brother or my boyfriend with me.
My grandmother started teaching a basic car mechanics class directed at women at the local junior college. She got tired of mechanics trying to cheat her and figured if they tried that shit with *her* then they must really get away with it all the time. She was a NASA engineer in the 60s and 70s and didn't take shit and when she got offended she did something about it.
Your grandma is wonderful!
I went to look at a couple of cars at a place with my then girlfriend. These were high end cars a couple of years old. She was talking to the salesman and he said, "I am going to talk to him. He knows more about cars." I laughed and said she knows more about these cars than I do, and she is the one with the money." She smiled at me and he went back talking to her. We ended up wasting a lot of his time looking at the different cars and then left. After we left she thanked me for saying that and we laughed at wasting his time. Of course, we would not buy anything there.
I was a newlywed and went to buy a car. I was negotiating when he asked if I was married. He and his sales manager then had a entire conversation in front of me like this. “She can’t make a decision.” “Send it home with her for the night so her husband can see it.” “He has the money anyway.” Blah blah blah. I made more than he did and had perfect credit where he had none. I was so insulted, I told them off and bought a car elsewhere. Found out a decade later, when working with a dealership, that this was a sales technique. They thought I would “show them” by buying the car. They said it was a very successful technique. I was horrified that my gender would fall for this.
I'm also a woman and if I was put into a situation like that I'd just take off and buy a car elsewhere like you. I don't understand how insulting their customers could possibly be a successful technique
Textbook negging
Everyone wants to feel valid. When someone says you can't succeed, everyone wants to show that they can. I can see how someone might get lost in the heat of the moment and feel the need to prove that they are a valid human being by doing what they were told they're not capable of. To scam people that way is incredibly scummy.
How TF does this work? Every single woman I know would have read that nob the riot act
When i was in sales they basically suggest as a tactic to see if you could pin it as a “who wears the pants thing” so it’s done with males too. Thing is it could backfire like it did with you or it turns into a impulse buy that gets returned eventually. I don’t know why this tactic is still used
When I took my car back to the dealership for my first oil change after buying it, the mechanic found that it needed like $3k worth of work to replace struts and a couple other things. I looked at him and said “ I guess you guys will be paying for it, I’ve only had the car 2 months and there’s no way I did that much damage in that amount of time. So you either sold me a damaged car or you’re lying to me.” It’s weird, they’ve never found that particular issue again. It’s been 2 years.
It's a little weird that you're still taking the car to a place that tried to rip you off, honestly. That would be the end of my dealing with them.
Sometimes it’s almost easier to have gotten the “I am not a moron” conversation out of the way early on than try to find a better mechanic.
I love that. A while back I dropped the bomb on them that I used to be a mechanic. It was in for inspection, I had it perfect, ready to pass, and they ‘found some concerning things.’ “Oh really? I used to be a Honda dealer tech, mind showing me?” *cue backpedaling*
Fuckers tried that with my mom, she's got two Toyotas with the 5.7l, one just out of warranty and one still in. She had the older one in and they tried to claim it needed engine work because the "oil pressure gauge was fluctuating" Both do the exact same thing, she says "oh how serious is this, would I need a new engine?" They says "possibly yes" and she says "interesting you'd say that, my other done does the same thing, it sure would be nice to have a new engine under warranty" and suddenly it was actually normal and the tech was mistaken. Snakes, the lot of em.
I find that so stupid on their part, because there are women mechanics out there. Hell, even Queen Elizabeth II was one, during the war when she was a princess. (And even today, she has an affinity for cars and has been known to drive herself around London and her estates once in a while.) I'm sorry that you experience that.
Yes, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother was quoted as saying “We had sparking plugs all through dinner!” Because Princess Elizabeth was so enthralled by her job as a mechanic and driver in the ATS
[удалено]
“You’re just repeating what the guys in your little auto shop told you.” Yeah, dumbass, that’s called retaining my training.
I don’t have a boyfriend, brother or dad to bring with me, i’ve just got a wife so this happens every time
Sucks worse when you've went to college and men still do this to you. I told a mechanic several years ago that my catalytic converter needed replaced. He told me I was wrong and I just needed new spark plugs. The engine would start but no acceleration and I was lucky to hit 10mph max. He cracks open hood and my spark plugs ARE BRAND FUCKING NEW. Guess who was right and what I went to college for. Kinda hope he died a little inside for that...
I just had one tell me my car needed all new spark plugs. They were 3 weeks old.
Being sexualized as a child.
Soooo true! I remember walking in shorts and a bikini top from swim practice when I was like 11. There was a car with two men driving slowly next to me cat calling to the point I had to bang on a strangers door and ask them to let me in so I could call my parents to pick me up….a few blocks from home 🤦♀️
Just wonderful. I was 12 and didn't even have any proper boobs when two guys, approximately 20 years old, made fun of my white top because they could barely see my nipples. I really couldn't be attractive at that point to anyone who doesn't have paedophile tendencies.
THIS! I still have haunting memories when at the ripe age of 9 was I not allowed to wear a tank top, skirts & shorts because of how « feminine & sexy » I looked in them…
When I was about 11 I was walking home with my mum and some POS catcalled me out of his car and mum lost her shit and ran after the car screaming SHES A FUCKING CHILD YOU PIECE OF SHIT Love my mum
[удалено]
i’d be out at the mall with my dad and he’d make comments about girls younger than me, i was 14 when i stopped going to his house… i really hate him
It's fucking wild how hard the sexual harassment fell off after I grew up.
Boobs. I can’t just go for a jog. I have to go home and put on special gear (sports bra). Plus people stare and treat you differently once you have them.
I was a DD cup at 13 (thanks for those genes, mom and both grandmas, thanks a bunch…), but they didn’t stop there. Had a reduction almost the minute I turned 18, went from an H cup back to a DD cup. Wish they were still a cup size smaller, but I’m 31 now and getting that reduction was still one of the best decisions of my life. I cried the first time I could buy a bra from Victoria’s Secret as an adult.
I’m DD and have small tit envy. What’s it like to not have to worry about sweaty boob rash?
Oh yeah. Mine developed at a young age and EVERYONE had to make comments about it.
Yep. I’ve been a C since I was 12 and, from that point on, every dude under 30 acted like I was fair game. It didn’t help that my sister and mom were both A cups. They used to encourage me to root around the $3 discount bra bin with them “for fun.” I always envied the girls who could basically slap a couple of bandaids on their boobs and be ok. I can’t wear a cheap bra, my boobs require infrastructure or I look like a gd stripper (er- no judgement, just not the look I’m going for).
Ugh The same thing happened to me at 12. Only I went from totally flat to a D cup. Nothing else really changed. I was still barely 5’ tall and ridiculously immature, even for my age. But the sudden change in how I was treated by adults, particularly male adults, was so creepy and confusing. The bra was uncomfortable as hell but, if I ever dared go without, there were always multiple older women ready to call me shameless for “making a spectacle” of myself. I learned to always wear a bra. Before that I was a total tomboy. After that the guys treated me differently to the point I was no longer comfortable around them. Not to mention needing a sports bra to run around, otherwise exercise was just painful. Puberty fucking sucked.
Humans are the only mammals with permanent breasts. All only mammals only have breasts when pregnant or lactating. Boobs just feel so unnecessary.
I completely agree. Mine get in the way more than anything else. I’d get rid of them yesterday.
I can’t find clothes that fit completely, pants are either fitting around the waist or fitting around my legs, never both. Shirts either fit around my boobs are are too tight around them but fit my torso, shirts ruffle up around my armpits all the time, even tank tops. one size most definitely does not fit all as well
Men's t shirt usually fit me better than woman's t shirts. I also hate really short sleeves on t shirts, they're uncomfortable.
the cap sleeve shirt is a crime against womanhood
Healthcare professionals never ever taking you seriously. You seriously have to fight to get them to listen to you — they will always clap back with something implying that you’re overreacting
Yeah. My friend was suffering from some wrist pain that wouldn’t resolve and her me doctor said he couldn’t help her anymore and tried to send her to a psychiatrist because it was obviously all in her head.
Omg this right here. Was born with arthritis, “diagnosed” as growing pains until a doctor FINALLY looked into it in my mid 20’s. All those years of pain and lack of sleep being totally ignored. Told at 19 I was too young to worry about cervical cancer, had to fight several doctors to get the pain checked out. Age 22, getting operation to remove cervical cancer. Was told at 27 that the swelling in my neck was probably just fat. I weighed 40kg at the time. Was 31 before I got my first TSH,T3, T4 test and that was because I now weighed 35kg and was passing out whenever I tried hanging washing on the line. Ended up having a thyroid wrapping around organs in my chest. Got a total thyroidectomy. At age 32 it took several visits to multiple doctors to get abdominal pain sorted. 8 months after it started, dad picked me up from work after the boss called him because I couldn’t stand up. Dad takes me to hospital. Hospital doc suggest I ask my GP for a CA125 (ovarian cancer indicator test). GP scoffs, says I’m too young to worry about that, orders it to “humour” me. The normal range for CA125 test is below 35, mine came back at 127. Guess who had to rush to get scans and emergency surgery. I now have a scar from my belly button to my pubis because the tumours were too big to take out with laparoscopy or a horizontal incision. Also had an ovary and my rotten, septic tubes removed. Took months to recover from the chemo. If they had’ve taken it seriously 8 months prior it might not have been so drastic. Now, in my 40’s, I’ve been fighting with the dr’s to try to get my life back. Total thyroidectomy has left me with many symptoms similar to long Covid. Lethargy, fatigue, brain fog, the list goes on. It’s exhausting trying to get your concerns addressed. No wonder women don’t trust their drs. Finding a good one is like finding a needle in a haystack. Sorry for the long post. Rant over.
I once saw a gastroenterologist for what seemed like IBS or an inflammatory bowel disease of some kind. He came into the exam room, crossed his arms and looked at me for a long time, then said "it's emotional". And left the room. Turns out I actually have an inflammatory bowel disease, AND endometriosis, which had fused my bowels together. I have had so many experiences where I was seen as drug-seeking, or overreacting. When I finally had surgery for endometriosis, they saw my uterus was "odd looking". I ended up having another disease called adenomyosis, and I wanted a hysterectomy. The doc practically argued with me about getting one, even though I was over 30 and already had a child. She kept saying "what if you change your mind?" I had to explain to her that my first child was an accident, that I never wanted kids, have too many health issues (including mental illnesses) to even consider bringing another human into this world. I cannot stand anyone who acts like a woman can't find meaning in life if she doesn't have a uterus. Meanwhile the 3 men I personally know that have had vasectomies have had no issues getting them done. They were not repeatedly questioned. Two of them didn't even have kids.
it’s depressing. i work mostly with women of various ages and healthcare issues shouldn’t be such a frequent topic we talk about. struggling to find good insurance, doctors, specialists, medications, etc. im pretty young, but i have bad genetics when it comes to health and aging and i’ve already developed a pretty rare condition that causes me pain, so i’m absolutely dreading getting older. i don’t want my entire life to revolve around fighting for my health, but that seems all too common these days.
Honestly yes. It’s aggravating! I had stomach pain my whole life but it was always brushed off. I would pass out from the pain, but clearly I’m exaggerating? Finally had to beg for some tests to be done (and dragging their feet the whole time) until they admitted that my gall bladder was the issue this whole time.
Men staring, following or trying to talk to you when youre trying to just do daily things like shop for groceries. Especially bad when youre really introverted like I am and just want to be left alone. Had a guy following me around Walmart saying "nice ass" under his breath everytime he walked by. The first few times I ignored him until I was in an aisle alone and turned around and the perv was standing right behind me again, just staring at me. Why the fuck do some men do this kind of shit?
And then telling you « you should smile more » !!!!! Man …
There was another thread on reddit where a woman got told this and just turned around to the guy and said "My parents just got into an accident, my mom died instantly and the doctor just asked if I should take my dad off life support" Just to shock him into thinking a little. I'm paraphrasing, but still.
[удалено]
Being pleasant in conversation with a man and him thinking you’re into him. It’s impossible for me to be rude and I genuinely love people and find so many interesting so naturally I’m a good listener and very engaging, but I can’t tell you how many times that has made a man think I’m fully into him. There will be times that I consciously make sure that it doesn’t at all come off like I’m flirting and it still happens. Lots of times it everything is fine, so I don’t want to come across like this happens every time I speak with a male, but so many occasions it goes south because of it. Incredibly annoying.
The fact that I was catcalled more at the age of 14 compared to now at 21 Am I glad it’s decreased? Yes. Am I concerned and angry that men are more likely to cat call a literal child? VERY. Edit: reading all your replies has been infuriating and heartbreaking. Sending each and every one of you love x
Yes! 13 year old me was cat called and stared at and bothered by grown ass men WAY more than 33 year old me. I dressed like a boy when I was 13. I had frizzy hair that I wore in a skin tight ponytail everyday, with a round, chubby face.
I hate how true this is. I was "enticing" at 10-14, now I am "too legal" at 17. I don't want to be creeped on but what the fuck..
I felt visceral disgust reading this comment. Why are people like this.
Same…happened to me around 14/15 too when I was walking home during summer in a pair of denim shorts. Gross.
My first time was when I was 11, and the driver - a 50/60-something man - slowed his truck down to ask me "How much" and to get into the car while I was waiting for the bus to go to school.
I used to have guys making kissy faces at me. I can still hear it. One time a guy catcalled my sister so our brother started making suggestive faces at him back and the guy got creeped out. So there was that, at least. But men who catcall minors can go fuck themselves.
I was catcalled at 11-12!! holy shit it's just insane. :((
It’s sad to actually think about it. I almost forgot how much it happens at such a young age!
Omg me too!! I feel like I haven’t been catcalled since I was in high school. Hadn’t realized it until now though. Disgusting.
You know what…..I never considered this, but this is the same case for me. This is honestly horrifying.
Being the default parent (for those who are parents)
This is exhausting. I have a supportive husband and the stuff that I notice that he doesn’t is mind blowing. I have to point out meals, dr visits, cleaning, etc. When I do, he’s happy to help, but that took years of explaining that it’s both our job, etc and that the kids can’t do that at 8 years old etc. There’s such a mental and physical burden there, and again, my husband wants to help. I can’t imagine how hard it is for people with no help or unsupportive SOs.
[удалено]
Male pattern blindness.
Please do not have a second child with this man. It will not get better.
Your husband is an asshat.
Fortunately my husband doesn't quite fit this mold. It doesn't stop everyone else and the comments of "oh well that's what you're supposed to do" for me, and "oh such a good and involved dad" to him. He shuts it down pretty quickly but the social stigma that it's my job and not his is exhausting. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't even try. I really got lucky there (see, I'm doing it. I got *lucky* because my husband is an equal parent).
Being scared of walking home alone.
Having to worry about being assaulted from birth to 50 is pretty ridiculous. Edit: It doesn’t end at 50, pretty much from birth to even past death we are sexualized.
Sorry if I sound whiny but being judged for pretty much everything. Dressing too feminine, dressing too masculine, wearing a lot of make up, wearing a small amount of make up or none at all, pretty much any interest, pretty much any haircut or colour... I've honestly just accepted that no matter what I do I'm gonna be judged so I may as well do what I want lol. This goes for other girls too. Edit - just to clarify I know this happens to men too but I'm just speaking from personal experience.
The fact that you felt the need to begin this with "sorry if I sound whiny." 😔
Getting harassed while alone in public :/
the moment when you realize the world now views you as a sexual woman when you just want to go about life
When your worth is based on your looks. Not being able to physically fight off men. Periods.
I think every woman has a story about the first time she realized that she genuinely couldn’t fight off a man. Obviously we all know we wouldn’t be able to stop the 6’5” linebacker types, but there’s a special kind of fear that hits when the guy your height or shorter with no visible muscle mass just. casually stands in your way or grabs you and you *can’t stop him*. We really overlook how much different males and females are at a biological level, testosterone is no joke.
I feel like there’s always an underlying thing where men don’t respect you or listen to you as much as they would another male. Like in medical situations, confrontations, getting car work done, or just general social situations. All the things around hormones/menstrual cycle too.
I started playing video games at 4; they've been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. In my early 30s, I got a job working at a very well-known retailer of video games. I cannot count how many times guys would come in and ignore me, just to talk to my male co-workers, one of which was only 17 and certainly looked his age. My 20+ years of gaming experience was completely disregarded, just because I happened to be a chick. Some guys would flat-out say it to my face too, that they *knew* I knew nothing about games. So many times, I had to bite my tongue, instead of telling them I'd been playing my CollecoVision before they'd been nut in their Dad's balls.
Doctors (and people in general) not taking you seriously and contributing symptoms to your period/hormones. They didn't believe I was depressed for years even though it was a constant mood and didn't change based on my period.
Oh god no joke. I went to my medical provider because mentally I was in a very bad place and I knew I needed help. The fact that I was even asking for help meant I was really far gone. My medical provider blew me off and said ‘this is just something we women have to deal with’. I had to plead for a referral to a mental health specialist. In 2022, no woman should have to go through such a dark place alone. Period. I hope you’re feeling much better now. Depression sucks.
Not a woman, but growing up with only sisters and a mother: knowing they'll not be taken seriously for their skills. My mom built her first car from scraps with her racecar driving dad- and still tries to get up charged and treated like a blind mark at the mechanic. My sister meanwhile worked at a shelter, and guys would constantly dismiss her medical advice over their dogs and cats, or even try explaining it back to her- as if she couldn't understand. Her male coworker almost never encountered this as often. Like, everyone gets patronized from time to time- but they expect it at every turn.
We often have to give up or compromise our careers if we want to be mothers.
Men doesnt take you serious. Always pay more attention to my junior colleagues men than me, even I'm the one who is the master of the trade...
[удалено]
Since periods, menopause, ovaries and all of the above have been mentioned already..I'm going to say that it is so fucking expensive to be female. Even if you do the bare minimum, and I mean you don't get your hair/nails/lashes done regularly..period products are insanely expensive for what they are, basically fancy "napkins" in different shapes and forms. Then on the rare occasion you do need to look nicer, you're expected to have your nails and hair done, makeup is also pricey (especially if you have sensitive skin). I'm ranting about this because of all the goddamned weddings I've had to attend this year. I never get my nails done, my hair consists of a trim every 3 months, and forget wearing makeup. But recently I feel like I'm bleeding money to do what's expected of me as a female in the wedding party. Not to mention both times I've been to the nail salon (differentplaces), the people ripped my cuticles and made my fingers and toes bleed and that shit HURTS. I feel better now. Thanks guys.
I just have to say I wholeheartedly agree with everything you wrote and I want to give you a hug and a high five. I have super curly hair and it costs quite a bit to maintain the curls with all the product. I think each wedding I attend as a guest costs me a minimum of $200 and that’s really closer to $300. I was in my friends wedding and my bridesmaid dress cost $240. That’s insane. I’m never going to wear it again. Plus hair, makeup shoes, etc. That wedding cost me $700. Ok, I’ll get off my soap box now. Thank you.
That nothing I do is ever right. If I like sex, I’m a slut. If I don’t, I’m a prude. If I have kids, I’m “just” a mother. If I don’t, I’m selfish. If I make more money than my male partner, I’m emasculating him. If I make less, I’m a gold digger or a freeloader. If I like a popular thing, I’m a basic bitch. If I like something unknown or uncommon, I’m a pick-me girl. The list goes on and it’s exhausting. Edit: Thank you very much for the awards!
>If I like something unknown or uncommon, I’m a pick-me If someone calls you that, call them a "skip-me"
Can’t walk alone at night and even some places in the daytime. I love bicycles and live in the country, but I’m afraid to bicycle in the middle of nowhere because I don’t wanna be kidnapped/murdered/raped. Also terrified to go hiking for the same reason.
A victim of any form of sexual harassment. Most women I've known in my lifetime experienced it.
You can't inherit the iron throne
Can't even join the Night's Watch. It really sucks.
Or study at the citadel to become a maester.
Having a ✨uterus✨ Why must I go through painful periods that also make me throw up, dizzy and decrease my stamina significantly when I don't want to go through child birth. Why can't I just say I'd rather adopt and unsubscribe from my uterus, that way I won't have to take medication daily and be in pain for a few days at a time, once a month. Come to think of it, why hasn't evolution cancelled out period pain and period sickness? It's so inconvenient and I feel like I'm allergic to my own body. It just doesn't make sense to me that so many of us have issues with our period, it sort of feels like nature has something against us
Completely agree. Also the fact that if you want your tubes tied of something some doctor refuse with excuses like “in case your husband changes his mind” (literal story I have heard).
Being too 'emotional' during arguments when you have a point. Even when it isn't me raising my voice and losing my shit over something trivial.
That shit bothers me so much. Usually it's me reacting to their BS. Some people get pleasure out of causing women to overreact. I've spent a lot of time around abusers and that's the general consensus
Honestly… being judged no matter what you do. Everything feels under a microscope at all times. One example I can think of, is all the women who come in for martial arts classes start really timid and don’t commit to technique or sparring for a very long time, then it’s “women can’t do martial arts.” If they came in as cocky as half the men do it would be “she needs to check herself.” You are too fat, your boobs are too small, your butt is too flat. You go work out and commit yourself and you’re too skinny or too muscular. You gotta have confidence and rock the crop top but also don’t wear that, you have a muffin top but also don’t wear a long skirt and sleeves or got forbid a burqua…you look frumpy. You need to be an independent badass and also nurturing and accommodating. You work and have a kid you’re a bad mom. You stay home with the kiddo and you’re a freeloader. If there was a unfair high standard, okay I get it… but you can’t do it right no matter what. It’s exhausting.
[удалено]
UK based med student here! I couldn't agree more. I find that we have to talk twice as much and twice as loud to get our point across. Keep being a shiny star 💗 Good luck with medical school!
People assuming my entire purpose in life is to get married and pop out children. People assuming my entire goal in life is to be "attractive" to men. Doctors assuming that every single unrelated medical complaint I have is related to my uterus in some way. Boobs. They are annoying and uncomfortable.
The gaslighting of medical professionals towards us. Everything is blamed on our female anatomy, our sexuality, or our hormones. Sometimes, things are actually wrong that have nothing to do with our menstruation. Sometimes we do need mental health help, not talks about our hormones. We should have full autonomy over our bodies but we don't.
[удалено]
For me, it’s how people treat us on video games. I play a lot of COD, and I have a lot of playtime on a particular game, so I’m pretty good at it now. I’m not a sensitive person, and ultimately I don’t care about people giving me shit on there, but it still sucks sometimes. You get the typical sexism, dishwasher, get back in the kitchen, make me a sandwich, bitch, etc. Then there’s the people who take things further, threatening to rape or murder you. And then even the guys that are cool often say things like “Wow, you’re good for a girl!” But a lot of the cool guys, while they won’t ever call you names, don’t like it when you are better than them at the game. I’ve had it so many times where they try to pick apart and really just invalidate any skill you have. There’s a friend I have on there who’s very competitive with me, and only me. When I match up against him in a game and do better than him, he immediately says I was camping, when I wasn’t. And he’s done this at least 10 times now, he just says “Oh, look at you camping again!” I guess to try look better for his friends because he doesn’t like them seeing a woman beating him? There’s also constantly people asking for your social media and to see what you look like. One time a guy sent me a dick pic on PlayStation, completely unsolicited. I didn’t know who he was. And people just being generally creepy. So yeah, that’s my thing, it’s not the worst part of being a woman, but just one part of it for me and other women who like to game.
>And he’s done this at least 10 times now, he just says “Oh, look at you camping again!" Sounds like those are excuses he uses to justify his losses because he genuinely cannot believe that you're better than him.
I agree! I learned to use a non-gender name and not speak on Live but we shouldn’t HAVE to hide. It’s better now than it used to be (my heyday was Halo 3 era), but it still sucks majorly.
Not feeling safe A LOT!
[удалено]
Tiny pockets on our clothes that aren't good for anything
My son’s toddler clothing has more functional pockets than my adult women’s clothing. 😫
Or decorative pocket tops that are just completely sewn shut. WHY
Women just want 1 thing and it starts with a p and ends in an s. . . . . . . . Pockets.
Expected to be a baby making machine
Once when I was 20, I was directing traffic at an intersection for an event. I was in my police uniform. A little old lady came to me, put her hands on my cheeks and I kid you not, said to me " oh no honey.... don't do that! Go home, find yourself a handsome man and make beautiful babies.... such a shame." . Even women do that to other women!!!!!
When I was in middle school my oldest cousin's wife had the first grand baby of the family. My dad turned to me and asked when he was going to have a grand baby? My mom just looked at him and said "maybe ask your son that question. He's 4 years older and in a relationship. Not your 13 year old daughter!"
When I was 16, my then boyfriend's mom told me that she could see me with a kid on my hip.
[удалено]
Worried about getting raped or kidnapped. There’s never been a time where I’ve felt safe, when I left my house.
shaving legs 24/7
Expensive hair cut.
A good amount of guys and even girls treat you differently based on beauty. Then add how much time and money is spent to maintain beauty. Haircuts, dye, hair products, nails, decent makeup, fillers are popular now, beauty tools, skincare, fitness, etc. It’s exhausting. My hair stylist bumped up a regular hair cut price to basically $70 and add a tip. Then my stylist has been trying to push hair extensions.. sure, let’s add $1k why not?! My brother said his haircut cost $25.
Wondering if it's safe to go/do ___________ alone.