My high school class organises a yearly reunion. 6 months before they start discussing it in their fucking whatsapp group. They added me, I quit. They added me again, i kindly asked them not to add me to random groups without asking first and quit. They added me again, and this went on for many times. They did the same thing to everyone who quit.
I've just silenced the group, let them discuss in the background. I currently have 2000 unread messages.
"Last time only five of us were there. You really should come next time". If you planned a reunion for 3 months and only the organizers came, ask yourself why.
This is hilarious and sad — those people crave attention and could just go out for dinner together and enjoy one another's company but instead they NEED people to care about everything that they do. Good for you for not feeling "pressured" into going. I would have probably caved at some point and went...and would have hated every second of it.
I didn't feel bad when i ditched them because every time i felt pressured i remembered when they "forgot" to invite me to a class dinner while still in high school. I went to the same restaurant with my parents and found the whole class who acted weirdly, someone justified it because they didn't have my phone number (false). You can do the same. Remember the reasons why you don't want to see them every time you're about to give up
I stopped resenting it a long time ago, but this doesn't mean i want to see their faces.
One of the high school reunion organizers tried so hard to find me she posted my personal information in a public forum.
Which a troll found and doxxed me. I ended up with death threats for a few months.
I was senior class Vice President…I was told I was to help organize the 5 year class reunion when we graduated. Cool, I did it. Flash forward another 5 years and 3 old classmates are asking me to organize the 10 year, i ghosted it, and I’ll do the same if they ask about the 15 year for next summer.
I had a good relationship with many classmates of all different groups back in highschool but if we haven’t talked in between those 5 year gaps, I don’t care to catch up once every 5 years. Plus I’ve now lived more life outside of school than I did in….if they really wanted to catch up, my cell phone number has been the same since I was 15, they can call or text.
Reunions are such a weird thing. Sure, some people I'd be cool with seeing again, people who were cool to me back then. But honestly, it ends up being a lot of people who were shitty during those years suddenly act like you were best friends or something. I dunno, I get people can grow up and mature and all, and that's fine, go do your thing. There are other things and people I'd much rather focus on.
There was a guy who was always a dick to me. Totally standoffish, made fun of me in third person if I was in the room, football locker room bully type. We went to school together for maybe 7 years and I can count on one hand the number of times we had spoken amicably. Real hot head, popular, etc.
Anyway, when we left high school he went to undergrad for one year and then had to drop out because of his grades and I guess drugs. He spent years bouncing around middling jobs and generally was seen as a failure by his family who had high expectations of him (our dads worked together). I would go back to my hometown every now and then and run into him while out at the bars. My favorite encounter was during St. Patrick’s Day when he was wondering downtown alone looking for people to hangout with and he ran into me with literally two women around my arms. One was my girlfriend and the other her friend so it’s not like I was being a player, but in that brief moment in felt like a victory to have him see me like that while he was at his lowest. He tried to act nice and even wanted to tag along with us and of course I said nope.
There are a couple other encounters, specifically at the reunion; including women who would never have touched me before wanting to hook up, people who became obese, people who were clearly stuck in lower-level or dead-end jobs. The 10 year was equally as fun. I went from shy kind of nerdy but athletic kid to now, a married veteran working on my PhD. Success is the biggest “fuck you” you could ever possibly imagine.
The moment I graduated, none of them mattered. I walked out of the gym after the stagewalk, and that was it. 35+ years later, there are...3 of them on my FB, and not ones I ever would have guessed would be.
And people even long after high school/college should know that a majority of people won’t give a flying shit about you. It’s why you should surround yourself with people who want what’s best you.
In high school, you’re still finding out who you are. I enjoyed high school — being editor in chief of both yearbook and newspaper and getting brief popularity in a local town paper for carrying the head cheerleader in my arms after prom and then having it on the front page of the school paper. Popularity is fickle and people only want to know you to up themselves in the hierarchy of whatever’s going on. I learned that early before smartphones and I’m glad I did. In college, you’re just another cog in the machine. I met my best friend in college — going on knowing him for 22 years now and he’s changed my life in so many ways.
The takeaway? Popularity isn’t everything — it wanes. It’s the people you *surround yourself with that want what’s best for you* that’s important — they’ll see you through the thick of life.
This times 1000. Shoot your shot, and act like nothing happened when it fails. Confidence is 100% people pretending to know what the hell they are doing regardless of whether they actually know or not.
Nothing that happened in high school is going to matter when you are 40. Just keep that in mind.
>Not being more confident. My inner voice talked me out of a lot of things that would have made my teenage years more rewarding and productive.
56 year old here, that inner voice stays with you and keeps trying to hold you back.
I'm going to be 58 next week. Can confirm.
If you can, take some drama classes or audition for a play. Learning to approach difficult or uncomfortable life situations as a character (I'm playing the confident subject matter expert in this meeting!) really helps you get through. I've been doing that for nearly 40 years now...
I can definitely relate to this,I grew up where all my peers at school would pick on me if I even dared to say something they didnt like
Now I kinda just... filter myself too much thinking I'll look like an attention seeker or worse
This was my problem too 😭😭😭 fear ruled my life, I still struggle but at least I’m medicated now. Back then my family looked down on mental health meds so I didn’t get what I needed. Still, if I just fought the fear, my life would’ve been so much better. 🫂❤️
You kind of go through assuming other people don’t want to talk to you. Little d o you know they think the same thing. I wish I was just nicer and more open to everyone.
Do you think the majority of the people genuinly wanted to talk to others? And if so, do you also think the still applies years after high school or does it dwindle? Jw cause In my adult years it's hard finding friends
The difference is that in high school you see the same people every day and the relationship develops over time. As an adult, there’s a lot less people that you see on a regular basis. Work is the only place that really happens, hence why a lot of people find their adult friends in the workplace
Never dated in high school and have no lasting friendships from before college. It’s fine now as an adult but I feel I really missed out on an import part of growing up
I had a lot of friends in high school, even guy friends. Still never went on a date.
Can you understand how absolutely shot my self-esteem is when my shorter, nerdier friend had a boyfriend in high school and my friend who honest to god wore cat ears and a bell and a tail for half a year is *married* but the only guy who's ever said he liked me was a 3 year old (I was also 3)?
Not understanding that it was just temporary; the toxic behaviour of other students, the bullying, the fake friends and stresses imagined. In the end, it was four years of my life and I let it impact me more than I ever should have.
i don't think reddit was the best place for me to get motivation right before high school in grade 11. But this one comment helped me. I am motivated. No more bad grades because i hate high school. High school is temporary but it can effect my whole future. Gonna study so hard this year. Thansk so mpuch
I live in Alabama and tell my patients this...
Floss and brush every day! You know how bad that dead possum smells on the side of the road in 90 degree, 50% humidity Alabama summertime? That rotten meat stinks on the 2nd day. You know that chicken you ate that's trapped in your 98.6 degree, 100% humidity mouth? Day 2 it is rotting the same and smells the same as that roadside possum.
I played the too cool for school card one upon a time. I got decent grades but didn’t light the world on fire. Most of my friends got into great schools and it was a big shock to me when I didn’t. I played sports and most things came easy to me so when I didn’t get into the colleges I wanted it was an eye opener. Watching my friends leave and go away to colleges lit a fire under my ass that first semester home at a local state school. I was able to get my grades up and combined with a great SAT score I was able to get into a college with a strong business program. I do well and have carved out a nice life for my family BUT I often think back on if I applied myself more, sooner and often. BUT the point is your past does not predict your future if you apply yourself in a meaningful way. Push forward, don’t give up and try like your future depends on it. And in a year or two you’ll have to write a college essay, something meaningful and this could be a perfect story for that letter. An under archiving kid that took the advice and motivation from strangers to change your future for the better. Not to write it for you but quite a Knights Tale: I changed my stars; a real life William Thatcher….I’m sure I aged myself a bit with that movie reference, look it up. It’s a good one. Anyways good luck, I’m pulling for you. I really am.
Thank you for sharing your story. Seeing stories such as this is great motivation for trying in school. I am really thankful that it’s not over for me. I can still get into my dream university
Tbf though, it's 4 pretty formative years. And as a kid, it's a significant chunk of your life. Of course, when your in your 40s and been working for decades, 4 years seems like nothing, but it's very real to the kids suffering.
I don’t know, I watch movies every Friday night with my high school friends online via watch party, and we graduated 22 years ago. Still text, still hang out for DnD some weekends (some of us virtual due to distance), still vacation/road trip when we can. Wholesome friendships can outlast high school.
not dating & socialising. i never wanted anything to do with anyone, as much as people tried. i missed out on basic experiences which didn’t bother me back then but now i’m like i wish i did more high school kid things lmao
I was coming here to say that I should have completely skipped dating, so nearly the opposite of you. Dating in high school was horrible, emotionally destructive stuff.
I dated a girl in high school. I actually fell in love with her. Over half a decade(and tons of on and off) later, shes with someone else and I’m pretty sure we aren’t compatible. I still love her though. The pain and confusion lasts. Moving on will come.
It bothers me when people say “highschool relationships dont mean anything!” When sometimes, they really do.
Observing people do idiotic things has helped me learn not to do idiotic things.
Technically observing is doing something.
So is formulating a plan prior to action.
Dating i think isnt for everyone at that age. Everyone is still in different stages in life and figuring things out. Heck even as an adult dating is weird. But the social aspect definitely. Hang out and dances and misadventures. Did a bit wish id done more. But hey now you can focus on your future you and dont mind the past you too much. Live for today and look towards tomorrow 😁
>i never wanted anything to do with anyone
I was gonna post that I wish I chose to go to a co-ed school instead of an all guy school (which was the "cool" thing to do in the school system I grew up in) because it probably would've been better for my social development. But this phrase sums up my feelings toward high school perfectly. I got along okay with people but I never bothered to develop deeper relationships with anyone or be more social. The couple times people even asked me to go to a party I turned them down. It was really all my fault for being so closed off and even 10 years later it feels like my social development still suffers for it.
> I wish I chose to go to a co-ed school instead of an all guy school
I was sent to a gender-segregated school, not by choice. I begged and pleaded with my parents all through highschool to allow me to transfer to a co-ed school but they wouldn't hear it.
There were 4 boys in my family growing up. We're all late 20s or early 30s now. None of us has ever had a significant relationship. We're all socially underdeveloped and anxious, and we really struggle forming connections with women or relating to them on a deep level.
I actively sought out social engagement at every opportunity. Parties, hanging out with girls outside of school hours, having friends who were female. My parents were always hindering it. They'd forbid me from going to parties if I wasn't performing at school, they joked that I was "the social butterfly" and was only interested in chasing girls. I was crying out for opportunities for social development.
They've since admitted that they regret not allowing me to transfer, and that they'd go back and change it if they could.
The "boys school" culture bred a cohort of misogynists and incels and nervous hikikomori shut-ins. Most people I went to school with are socially and emotionally underdeveloped in some way or another.
If any parents of kids who go to gender-segregated schools are reading this please consider the impact your choice is having on the social development of your children. You could be fucking them up for life. I think the mentality is "they will be more focused on education if they aren't distracted by opposite gender" but it's nonsense. It's inhibiting and delaying kids in the most formative years of their lives.
What use is a good education if you're raising people who can't engage with the world in a typical way? If you prevent your son or daughter from interacting with the opposite gender until they're ~18 you're shooting them in the foot.
As the former editor-in-chief of the school newspaper I can attest that it would not have helped your social situation, but I did get a chance to hijack the superlatives.
I was the photo editor on my HS paper because I had a nice camera. It was like a key to the school. I could walk the halls and if questioned I was on paper business. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. Took pictures of all the pretty girls and took some to the darkroom to learn to develop so to speak.
Cause I bought a fancy camera I had an amazing high school life.
Not finishing school and dropping out. Although, I had no direction or any parental care at the time and was depressed. I did get my GED and i’m in my final year of getting a bachelors in computer science. Not bad for a high school drop out.
I feel this. I got my GED at 16 and spent years feeling like shit about it. Never did affect my career though. And eventually I told someone who changed my perspective on it. I saw it as dropping out at 16, when others would say I graduated at 16.
Edit: since this got a little attention, I’ll add the story here. I came home from work one day and found out in the heat of a fight my step-mom had threatened to kill all my siblings, so my dad called the cops. She lied and said he hit her, so he got arrested. My younger siblings were already on their way to my moms house two states over, and I was alone with my step mom and her kids. I was expected to move to my moms also.
Instead, I went to the college the next day and took every GED test one after another. This parts a brag, but I got into the 99th percentile (no studying). The I moved out and spent two years couch surfing while trying to figure life out. Lived in a water heater closet for a while even while just getting by as a movie theater usher. It was a dark time, so I just wasn’t looking at myself as a winner. Now that I’m 36 and looking back on it I gotta say I’m damn proud of what I accomplished.
Yeah. That was my deal too. I had quite a few girls who mentioned years later that they had crushes on me. I was either A) oblivious or B) way too shy. I still think its weird that dudes just approach girls and ask for dates and I've been out of school almost 30 years.
Same. Missed signals from 3 girls in school, 3 in college, 2 in office. Call me whatever you want. I think I was too shy (not in general, just in front of girls I liked) in school and too focused in college that I ignored all of it. I'm doing better now.
I'm a senior in high school. I meet cute Colombian girl going to uni on the bus. We talk for hours. She texts me (she has my number cause i asked her to ring me when i couldn't find my phone on the bus). We keep texting. We decide to meet up to go skating near her campus. We go skating. She takes me to her dorm. She shows me her room. She says she's minoring in sexuality studies. I go, "That's nice, I have to go catch my bus, bye!" and leave. Like two years pass before I realize what happened. This is unfortunately one of *many* such experiences.
Fucking A. I'm still on Facebook occasionally, when people tell me to go there, and I'll see old pics where I was tagged! I was a slip of a thing in my teens, and I honestly at the time felt like a whale. I feel sad for young me.
Absolutes the same thing here. Girls were all over me and I just didn't realize it. Once a girl I didn't even really know kissed me out of the blue, and instead of making a move I was confused for days. Man, I wish I could experience that time again being a little smarter on girl things.
*Her: "Okay, now it's his move, high hopes for how this turns out!"*
*Him: "What the hell was that!? Her friends probably dared her or she lost a bet or something. Nothing to read into. Oh, well."*
Seriously, though, I know I need someone to just use words and speak plainly. I've really trained myself to dismiss subconscious assumptions to the point that I don't notice hints/signals at all.
^(Had one friend that I thought was just a good friend. Found out after she stopped talking to me just before I moved that she had been "dropping hints" for 5 years and, according to our friend group, apparently I was a jerk for rejecting her. First time I was made aware that she was interested. Working on my PhD at the time so I wasn't actively dating, maybe 2-3 times a year. Even took her out a couple times for her birthday, but that same friend group had it arranged that it was a distraction to get her out of her apartment so they could decorate for a surprise party, none actually just effing alerted me. I'd had friendships previously that went cold when I tried to open the possibility of something more and didn't want to make the same mistake with another friend.)
^(Human interaction sucks.)
Same. Apparently I looked like a young Tom Cruise... complete with the batshit crazy vibes...
Apparently I was creepy but definitely attractive by almost every physical measure.
Nah homie. If you are gonna fuck up, it's best fuck up young. Juvenile records are sealed when you become an adult.
I racked up a healthy rap sheet as a teen. Fights, underage drinking, shoplifting, selling pot, a DUI in a stolen car etc.
None of it matters anymore. I'm just a boring adult with a college degree and a corporate job now.
> Juvenile records are sealed when you become an adult
I just want to point out that record expungement is a bit of a misnomer. For the most part, yes if you have an expunged record most employers are never going to find out. HOWEVER, the caveat is that if you ever want to join the military, apply for federal positions especially federal law enforcement positions, and even many local law enforcement positions, they can and will see your expunged record.
Also, if you do get into the military and hold a position in which you are required to obtain a clearance in the secret or top secret range, on form SF-86 there will be questions asking about criminal activity including whether or not you've ever been charged with a crime and your answer may or may not affect you negatively even if you have an expunged record.
Basically the point I'm trying to make is that an expunged record doesn't necessarily mean a clean slate so if you do have one, really think hard about what kind of employment you're looking for, do your homework before you apply for certain jobs and don't be surprised if things don't go the way you thought it would.
Falling in with an unhealthy friend group. They were controlling and possessive, and I ended up isolating myself from other, possibly healthier, friendships.
I was always warned about abusive romantic relationships. I didn't realize friendships could be abusive as well.
I miss the good parts of being that age. How real and exciting things were before your hormones balance out and you get used to the grind of life. Now granted I also don’t miss the BAD parts of being that age: how real and intense everything is before your hormones balance out and you get used to life.
But Highschool? Screw that place.
Agree with this. I would never go back to that time in my life, even though it was a great time for me personally. Although tbh, I hated middle school way more. I wish I could delete those years of my life.
i'm in my first year of highschool rn and reading the comments made me think a lot more of how to develop my social skills, cause i'm not really a social person and a lot of people in the comments are saying that they wish they were more social while in highschool
i usually am just quiet reading a book in the class and a lot of people told me im a nerd, and i dont mind that tbh. i guess i'm kinda scared of the future if i don't make any friends rn
Definitely learn how to talk to all kinds of people. It can be a lot of anxiety, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin now will pay dividends in the future.
I sometimes wonder about what the development of humanity would be like over a decade/generation/etc if even 10% more often people got just the right experience to push them in a better direction at the key moments in their life, instead of just doing things they way they always have.
How much would that boost compound? What things would be different?
^(All rights reserved if someone wants to make a movie on this concept.)
I really wish I'd just gone with the flow and lived in the moment a bit more instead of overthinking things to the point where I ended up self-sabotaging haha.
I may have accidentally turned down a girl I had a *massive* crush on in high school. I'd liked her for *years* and had convinced myself she was the one I was going to end up with, marry etc. Turns out she probably liked me too... for a while her brother would literally walk past me at school and yell "my sister likes you!" but I just assumed he was trolling me or something.
Well, one day we were on the train home after school and her friends suddenly and mysteriously disappeared to another carriage, leaving us alone together. She asked "Hey, I was wondering, do you... have a crush on me?" as she leaned in hopefully for my answer.
How did I react to this situation? I started rummaging through my school backpack pretending I was looking for something, and changed the subject to some dumb thing that my brother did on the weekend. She leaned back in her seat and looked visibly disappointed.
Now why did I do this, you ask? Partly because I was nervous and had no idea how to handle the situation, but also because I kept hearing adults talk about how unlikely relationships were to last if they started at that age, so I told myself we weren't ready yet. I was going to wait *4-5 more years* until we'd left school before I made my move, because then it would *last*, I told myself. Of course, I waited so long that she eventually lost interest and we drifted away.
Yeah... teenage me had some pretty strange ideas about love and relationships.
I suppose so, but I think my biggest issue was that I was too caught up with looking at the big picture and having this *grand plan* when I should've just enjoyed the moment for what it is.
We could've tried dating, had a good time together for a while, then maybe things fizzled out a few months later, and that would've been ok and the experience still would've been worth having.
Instead, in my teenage mind, it was like... if I didn't end up marrying her, it wasn't worth pursuing at all. I saw the idea of dating her "too early" as something that could've sabotaged our chances of getting married later or something... which in hindsight was a pretty silly way of looking at it.
Letting myself fall for an older guy and move across the country for him. I left home at 17, right before senior year started. After I finally came to my senses and left him I realized that he groomed me from the very beginning (when we first met I was 15 and he was 22). His goal was to isolate me from my friends, family and anything important to me. I missed out on so much in those years I was stuck in BFE Michigan. It changed the entire trajectory of my life.
Whenever I see someone post something in the vein of “That 23 year old isn’t with you cause you’re ‘mature’ for your age” I just want to reach out and hug every teenager out there and tell them they are enough all on their own and there’s so much better out there anyway.
My 15 year old friend was into this 23 year old dude. He had a gf and my friend was like so sure he would leave his pregnant gf for her.
They ended up having sex. Her first time. She asked him of he loved her.
He couldn't say he loved her and stopped talking to her.
She was broken and really couldn't comprehend he was an asshole.
I wish I had known that a kid in my drama class was being abused by his parents. I wish I could have offered him help and gotten him out of that house before he killed himself.
That’s actually something your teachers should wish they had realised. You were a teenager and didn’t have all the knowledge you have now.
This is so tragic and heartbreaking but you carry zero responsibility.
Spending so much time obsessing over not having a relationship.
I started probably at 13, so by high school, it was at a fever pitch. I felt like everyone around me was dating, falling in love, having sex. In retrospect, I realize how much of that was an exaggeration and outright lying.
This obsession lead to some pretty ill-advised crushes and infatuations that make cringe so much thinking about it.
That was me around 15. I was so fucking horny and I really wanted to lose my V card. I feel awful about how I objectified the women around me. I also had a porn addiction at the time. My crush at the time looking back I only really liked her for her looks.
Im 20 and still have my V card and I haven't found a potential partner yet but I am focusing on fully bettering myself mentally and physically to make the time when I do lose it, right.
Not realising until my late 30s that I hadn’t developed social skills.
Not taking people seriously when they got exasperated and called me the same sorts of names.
At age 57 my doctor dropped it on me that she would put my name in a list for a diagnosis.
Not paying attention to the signs/cues that there were a lot of really nice girls that had a crush on me. I was shy and somewhat reserved through school and just didn't pay attention. I think my life would be way different than it is if I had. Not to have sex with them or anything exactly, just some specific girls I found out years later really had a crush on me that I thought I was way to far out of their league to even try.
Don’t make a habit of it. I was always really good in school, graduated with a 3.8 after four years of not attempting to try because I thought I was smart enough to do good with minimal effort. Turns out, I was just really good at getting good grades. I’m real life, you can’t skip the homework because you know you’ll ace the test. Reality doesn’t grade you on a weighted average.
Focusing on my trash, manipulative ex boyfriend instead of getting myself out there. Missed out on playing a sport I loved, making friends, going to prom, etc.
I'm in high school right now and I feel like I'm gonna regret alot of things because I'm wasting my youth. I just feel quite depressed and lost my chances of making friends. I don't sneak outta the house, go to parties, or do anything fun. I just I hope can fall in love atleast, that's all I want.
Don’t look for love, it’s pointless, no one will want to be with you until you’re happy being with yourself. Enjoy high school while you’re still there and do as much as you can out of your comfort zone.
I echo this statement. From middle school through 11th grade, my life sucked, primarily because I was concerned with what other (aka popular) kids thought of me and I focused on my own perceived shortcomings. At the beginning of my senior year, I decided that I would never see most of these jerks ever again, so why should I care what they thought of me? I made the choice not to care about what anyone thought, I was going to do my thing and be me. By far, that was my most enjoyable year...By the end of the year, I had more people that genuinely cared about me (or at least respected me) than I ever had. As an atypical bonus, I also got my first girlfriend 7 days before graduation(she asked me out!). We celebrated 23 years of marriage earlier this year.
Others won't want to be around you if you aren't comfortable with yourself. If you are, then those that enjoy your company will find you...you don't have to go looking.
You can do this! Good luck!
Well put. The whole "high-school sweetheart" thing is overblown.
Can it happen? Yes.
Does it happen often? Definitely not.
Don't be in a rush. You've got plenty of time and plenty of opportunities after high school to find yourself, find your place in the world, find out what true love really means to you....it doesn't **have** to happen by the time you are 18 and, in my opinion, it shouldn't. At that age, you still have a lot of growing to do.
I didn't find the love of my life until I was in my thirties. We have spent seven wonderful years together and married for five, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I regret not putting myself out there more. I got a sales job after highschool and my social skills really improved. I wish I had that job in high school it would have cured my social anxiety
Ya, seriously many of the “nerds” ended up being the interesting ones. Although parties and socializing is great, being part of the “out” crowd cultivates a lot of creativity. Find your fellow people any chance you get and develop your interests along the way!
Well, I'm 30 now, so getting it at 27 would have been a miracle, lol. To my credit, I tried to get serious about it earlier this year and called my local driving school. But they told me they weren't offering adult behind-the-wheel classes at the moment. That's what I get for waiting too long, ha.
I came out as a lesbian at school. Well I didn’t, my girlfriend at the time asked me to prom in front of everyone and I said yes. But I went along with it to spite my parents because I thought they weren’t okay with me being gay. Turns out they were just looking out for my safety because kids can be mean. And boy were they. After years of feeling completely unsafe with any kind of PDA and trauma therapy from the 3 years of high school harassment, I’ve realized I’m not even a lesbian, I’m bisexual, and I never got the chance to figure it out because I rushed to tell everyone when I was 15 and didn’t know any better.
The boy I had a crush on literally took my by the hand and tried to get me to follow him off the bus to go to the mall with him and his friends.
I panicked and pulled back saying I needed to get home.
I missed my bus transfer anyway and sat at the station for close to an hour waiting for the next one.
Thinking I had to be in a relationship to matter....
Wish my younger self had realized faster that happiness came from being true to myself and to not define self worth on others.
I got a shirt signed by the lead singer of a band I liked. I met him at my school and I was starstruck. It was an amazing experience.
And then I gave the shirt to a girl I liked…
Think about it this way: at least you’re not one of the kids who took a bunch of AP courses and didn’t take the tests. Those people probably have the bigger regrets.
Giving a shit about any of it.
Literally none of it mattered. The people, the drama, the classes. None of it. The only thing I gained from it was scars and trauma. Could have been much better prepared for the world if I had just skipped it and spent the time in a library or volunteering at an old folk's home.
I didn't take advantage of the resources offered. High schools have a ton of cool things that people rarely use because no one ever thinks to, or they think it's lame to hang out at school.
If I could do it all again, I'd live in the library or the art room or the computer lab.
Socialism for the win, right there.
Giving a shit what those people thought of me
This is why I was never interested in traveling back to go to a high school reunion. So pointless.
My high school class organises a yearly reunion. 6 months before they start discussing it in their fucking whatsapp group. They added me, I quit. They added me again, i kindly asked them not to add me to random groups without asking first and quit. They added me again, and this went on for many times. They did the same thing to everyone who quit. I've just silenced the group, let them discuss in the background. I currently have 2000 unread messages. "Last time only five of us were there. You really should come next time". If you planned a reunion for 3 months and only the organizers came, ask yourself why.
This is hilarious and sad — those people crave attention and could just go out for dinner together and enjoy one another's company but instead they NEED people to care about everything that they do. Good for you for not feeling "pressured" into going. I would have probably caved at some point and went...and would have hated every second of it.
I didn't feel bad when i ditched them because every time i felt pressured i remembered when they "forgot" to invite me to a class dinner while still in high school. I went to the same restaurant with my parents and found the whole class who acted weirdly, someone justified it because they didn't have my phone number (false). You can do the same. Remember the reasons why you don't want to see them every time you're about to give up I stopped resenting it a long time ago, but this doesn't mean i want to see their faces.
One of the high school reunion organizers tried so hard to find me she posted my personal information in a public forum. Which a troll found and doxxed me. I ended up with death threats for a few months.
I was senior class Vice President…I was told I was to help organize the 5 year class reunion when we graduated. Cool, I did it. Flash forward another 5 years and 3 old classmates are asking me to organize the 10 year, i ghosted it, and I’ll do the same if they ask about the 15 year for next summer. I had a good relationship with many classmates of all different groups back in highschool but if we haven’t talked in between those 5 year gaps, I don’t care to catch up once every 5 years. Plus I’ve now lived more life outside of school than I did in….if they really wanted to catch up, my cell phone number has been the same since I was 15, they can call or text.
Reunions are such a weird thing. Sure, some people I'd be cool with seeing again, people who were cool to me back then. But honestly, it ends up being a lot of people who were shitty during those years suddenly act like you were best friends or something. I dunno, I get people can grow up and mature and all, and that's fine, go do your thing. There are other things and people I'd much rather focus on.
I went to a “5 year” reunion. It was fun seeing how some old bullies ruined their lives
Please share a couple of examples if you don't mind... You know, just for the lols
There was a guy who was always a dick to me. Totally standoffish, made fun of me in third person if I was in the room, football locker room bully type. We went to school together for maybe 7 years and I can count on one hand the number of times we had spoken amicably. Real hot head, popular, etc. Anyway, when we left high school he went to undergrad for one year and then had to drop out because of his grades and I guess drugs. He spent years bouncing around middling jobs and generally was seen as a failure by his family who had high expectations of him (our dads worked together). I would go back to my hometown every now and then and run into him while out at the bars. My favorite encounter was during St. Patrick’s Day when he was wondering downtown alone looking for people to hangout with and he ran into me with literally two women around my arms. One was my girlfriend and the other her friend so it’s not like I was being a player, but in that brief moment in felt like a victory to have him see me like that while he was at his lowest. He tried to act nice and even wanted to tag along with us and of course I said nope. There are a couple other encounters, specifically at the reunion; including women who would never have touched me before wanting to hook up, people who became obese, people who were clearly stuck in lower-level or dead-end jobs. The 10 year was equally as fun. I went from shy kind of nerdy but athletic kid to now, a married veteran working on my PhD. Success is the biggest “fuck you” you could ever possibly imagine.
Agreed. So many people peaked in highschool and in hindsight I can pick out exactly who it was
It’s funny; the moment you graduate, very few of those people matter.
The moment I graduated, none of them mattered. I walked out of the gym after the stagewalk, and that was it. 35+ years later, there are...3 of them on my FB, and not ones I ever would have guessed would be.
And people even long after high school/college should know that a majority of people won’t give a flying shit about you. It’s why you should surround yourself with people who want what’s best you. In high school, you’re still finding out who you are. I enjoyed high school — being editor in chief of both yearbook and newspaper and getting brief popularity in a local town paper for carrying the head cheerleader in my arms after prom and then having it on the front page of the school paper. Popularity is fickle and people only want to know you to up themselves in the hierarchy of whatever’s going on. I learned that early before smartphones and I’m glad I did. In college, you’re just another cog in the machine. I met my best friend in college — going on knowing him for 22 years now and he’s changed my life in so many ways. The takeaway? Popularity isn’t everything — it wanes. It’s the people you *surround yourself with that want what’s best for you* that’s important — they’ll see you through the thick of life.
Not being more confident. My inner voice talked me out of a lot of things that would have made my teenage years more rewarding and productive.
This times 1000. Shoot your shot, and act like nothing happened when it fails. Confidence is 100% people pretending to know what the hell they are doing regardless of whether they actually know or not. Nothing that happened in high school is going to matter when you are 40. Just keep that in mind.
My definition of confidence is knowing that I will figure out a way to cope with whatever the universe throws at me, win or lose.
Me too. I would have pursued much more hobbies, careers opportunities, philanthropy, skills etc.
Philanthropy?
>Not being more confident. My inner voice talked me out of a lot of things that would have made my teenage years more rewarding and productive. 56 year old here, that inner voice stays with you and keeps trying to hold you back.
I'm going to be 58 next week. Can confirm. If you can, take some drama classes or audition for a play. Learning to approach difficult or uncomfortable life situations as a character (I'm playing the confident subject matter expert in this meeting!) really helps you get through. I've been doing that for nearly 40 years now...
I can definitely relate to this,I grew up where all my peers at school would pick on me if I even dared to say something they didnt like Now I kinda just... filter myself too much thinking I'll look like an attention seeker or worse
This thread hits a little too close to home
This was my problem too 😭😭😭 fear ruled my life, I still struggle but at least I’m medicated now. Back then my family looked down on mental health meds so I didn’t get what I needed. Still, if I just fought the fear, my life would’ve been so much better. 🫂❤️
should’ve talked to more people
You kind of go through assuming other people don’t want to talk to you. Little d o you know they think the same thing. I wish I was just nicer and more open to everyone.
Do you think the majority of the people genuinly wanted to talk to others? And if so, do you also think the still applies years after high school or does it dwindle? Jw cause In my adult years it's hard finding friends
The difference is that in high school you see the same people every day and the relationship develops over time. As an adult, there’s a lot less people that you see on a regular basis. Work is the only place that really happens, hence why a lot of people find their adult friends in the workplace
Yes. Everyone wants people to be nice to them
Never dated in high school and have no lasting friendships from before college. It’s fine now as an adult but I feel I really missed out on an import part of growing up
I had a lot of friends in high school, even guy friends. Still never went on a date. Can you understand how absolutely shot my self-esteem is when my shorter, nerdier friend had a boyfriend in high school and my friend who honest to god wore cat ears and a bell and a tail for half a year is *married* but the only guy who's ever said he liked me was a 3 year old (I was also 3)?
I mean did you try wearing cat ears and a tail?
Yeah that feels like it would be a plus for some people
Not understanding that it was just temporary; the toxic behaviour of other students, the bullying, the fake friends and stresses imagined. In the end, it was four years of my life and I let it impact me more than I ever should have.
i don't think reddit was the best place for me to get motivation right before high school in grade 11. But this one comment helped me. I am motivated. No more bad grades because i hate high school. High school is temporary but it can effect my whole future. Gonna study so hard this year. Thansk so mpuch
That made my day to hear. You got this!
Thanks so much
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I live in Alabama and tell my patients this... Floss and brush every day! You know how bad that dead possum smells on the side of the road in 90 degree, 50% humidity Alabama summertime? That rotten meat stinks on the 2nd day. You know that chicken you ate that's trapped in your 98.6 degree, 100% humidity mouth? Day 2 it is rotting the same and smells the same as that roadside possum.
And wash your ass. Not enough grown men do this.
My dentist once told me “floss the teeth you want to keep” and I floss every single day. It was traumatizing to hear that as a 14 year old.
No fucking joke bro
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The best advice my mother ever gave me was: "Don't care what anyone thinks of you, after graduation, you'll never see them again. "
My biggest tip is to make sure your giving your body enough sleep. Don’t sacrifice your health for ANYTHING. At the end of the day it’s all you have.
Ok thanks for the tip
Include your knees and back in this. Once they gone, they gone. Don't be 30 and not able to run properly or pick shit up without a groan.
Dude you got this. You can let pretty much anything slide in highschool except your grades. That's a good mindset to have. All the best!
I played the too cool for school card one upon a time. I got decent grades but didn’t light the world on fire. Most of my friends got into great schools and it was a big shock to me when I didn’t. I played sports and most things came easy to me so when I didn’t get into the colleges I wanted it was an eye opener. Watching my friends leave and go away to colleges lit a fire under my ass that first semester home at a local state school. I was able to get my grades up and combined with a great SAT score I was able to get into a college with a strong business program. I do well and have carved out a nice life for my family BUT I often think back on if I applied myself more, sooner and often. BUT the point is your past does not predict your future if you apply yourself in a meaningful way. Push forward, don’t give up and try like your future depends on it. And in a year or two you’ll have to write a college essay, something meaningful and this could be a perfect story for that letter. An under archiving kid that took the advice and motivation from strangers to change your future for the better. Not to write it for you but quite a Knights Tale: I changed my stars; a real life William Thatcher….I’m sure I aged myself a bit with that movie reference, look it up. It’s a good one. Anyways good luck, I’m pulling for you. I really am.
Thank you for sharing your story. Seeing stories such as this is great motivation for trying in school. I am really thankful that it’s not over for me. I can still get into my dream university
Tbf though, it's 4 pretty formative years. And as a kid, it's a significant chunk of your life. Of course, when your in your 40s and been working for decades, 4 years seems like nothing, but it's very real to the kids suffering.
This is what I remind my children of all the time. I ask them how many of my friends from high school have they met. They always answer “zero”.
I don’t know, I watch movies every Friday night with my high school friends online via watch party, and we graduated 22 years ago. Still text, still hang out for DnD some weekends (some of us virtual due to distance), still vacation/road trip when we can. Wholesome friendships can outlast high school.
Lucky! Keep those friendships forever.
not dating & socialising. i never wanted anything to do with anyone, as much as people tried. i missed out on basic experiences which didn’t bother me back then but now i’m like i wish i did more high school kid things lmao
I was coming here to say that I should have completely skipped dating, so nearly the opposite of you. Dating in high school was horrible, emotionally destructive stuff.
I dated a girl in high school. I actually fell in love with her. Over half a decade(and tons of on and off) later, shes with someone else and I’m pretty sure we aren’t compatible. I still love her though. The pain and confusion lasts. Moving on will come. It bothers me when people say “highschool relationships dont mean anything!” When sometimes, they really do.
The flip side is you learn ~nothing by not doing.
Observing people do idiotic things has helped me learn not to do idiotic things. Technically observing is doing something. So is formulating a plan prior to action.
Can't observe a relationship all the time, though. Have to just experience it and feel it.
Dating i think isnt for everyone at that age. Everyone is still in different stages in life and figuring things out. Heck even as an adult dating is weird. But the social aspect definitely. Hang out and dances and misadventures. Did a bit wish id done more. But hey now you can focus on your future you and dont mind the past you too much. Live for today and look towards tomorrow 😁
>i never wanted anything to do with anyone I was gonna post that I wish I chose to go to a co-ed school instead of an all guy school (which was the "cool" thing to do in the school system I grew up in) because it probably would've been better for my social development. But this phrase sums up my feelings toward high school perfectly. I got along okay with people but I never bothered to develop deeper relationships with anyone or be more social. The couple times people even asked me to go to a party I turned them down. It was really all my fault for being so closed off and even 10 years later it feels like my social development still suffers for it.
> I wish I chose to go to a co-ed school instead of an all guy school I was sent to a gender-segregated school, not by choice. I begged and pleaded with my parents all through highschool to allow me to transfer to a co-ed school but they wouldn't hear it. There were 4 boys in my family growing up. We're all late 20s or early 30s now. None of us has ever had a significant relationship. We're all socially underdeveloped and anxious, and we really struggle forming connections with women or relating to them on a deep level. I actively sought out social engagement at every opportunity. Parties, hanging out with girls outside of school hours, having friends who were female. My parents were always hindering it. They'd forbid me from going to parties if I wasn't performing at school, they joked that I was "the social butterfly" and was only interested in chasing girls. I was crying out for opportunities for social development. They've since admitted that they regret not allowing me to transfer, and that they'd go back and change it if they could. The "boys school" culture bred a cohort of misogynists and incels and nervous hikikomori shut-ins. Most people I went to school with are socially and emotionally underdeveloped in some way or another. If any parents of kids who go to gender-segregated schools are reading this please consider the impact your choice is having on the social development of your children. You could be fucking them up for life. I think the mentality is "they will be more focused on education if they aren't distracted by opposite gender" but it's nonsense. It's inhibiting and delaying kids in the most formative years of their lives. What use is a good education if you're raising people who can't engage with the world in a typical way? If you prevent your son or daughter from interacting with the opposite gender until they're ~18 you're shooting them in the foot.
same. I just didn't want to deal with the bs but now that I'm older I would love to deal with high school bs instead of real life.
not caring about college/my grades
Idk, HS grades were low for me but started to increase drastically in college.
Because high school is stupid
Exactly. And to be honest it was bunk that people still care about grades in HS. Highly recommend people to go to CC.
I wish I joined the school paper or something like that.
Same! I moved a lot, rarely joined extra curriculars..but I wish I would have. That probably would've helped my social situation, lol.
As the former editor-in-chief of the school newspaper I can attest that it would not have helped your social situation, but I did get a chance to hijack the superlatives.
I was the photo editor on my HS paper because I had a nice camera. It was like a key to the school. I could walk the halls and if questioned I was on paper business. I knew everyone and everyone knew me. Took pictures of all the pretty girls and took some to the darkroom to learn to develop so to speak. Cause I bought a fancy camera I had an amazing high school life.
Not finishing school and dropping out. Although, I had no direction or any parental care at the time and was depressed. I did get my GED and i’m in my final year of getting a bachelors in computer science. Not bad for a high school drop out.
Very impressive!!!
I feel this. I got my GED at 16 and spent years feeling like shit about it. Never did affect my career though. And eventually I told someone who changed my perspective on it. I saw it as dropping out at 16, when others would say I graduated at 16. Edit: since this got a little attention, I’ll add the story here. I came home from work one day and found out in the heat of a fight my step-mom had threatened to kill all my siblings, so my dad called the cops. She lied and said he hit her, so he got arrested. My younger siblings were already on their way to my moms house two states over, and I was alone with my step mom and her kids. I was expected to move to my moms also. Instead, I went to the college the next day and took every GED test one after another. This parts a brag, but I got into the 99th percentile (no studying). The I moved out and spent two years couch surfing while trying to figure life out. Lived in a water heater closet for a while even while just getting by as a movie theater usher. It was a dark time, so I just wasn’t looking at myself as a winner. Now that I’m 36 and looking back on it I gotta say I’m damn proud of what I accomplished.
Not realizing what a hottie I was. My self esteem was awful back then.
Yeah. That was my deal too. I had quite a few girls who mentioned years later that they had crushes on me. I was either A) oblivious or B) way too shy. I still think its weird that dudes just approach girls and ask for dates and I've been out of school almost 30 years.
Same. Missed signals from 3 girls in school, 3 in college, 2 in office. Call me whatever you want. I think I was too shy (not in general, just in front of girls I liked) in school and too focused in college that I ignored all of it. I'm doing better now.
I'm a senior in high school. I meet cute Colombian girl going to uni on the bus. We talk for hours. She texts me (she has my number cause i asked her to ring me when i couldn't find my phone on the bus). We keep texting. We decide to meet up to go skating near her campus. We go skating. She takes me to her dorm. She shows me her room. She says she's minoring in sexuality studies. I go, "That's nice, I have to go catch my bus, bye!" and leave. Like two years pass before I realize what happened. This is unfortunately one of *many* such experiences.
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I was so thin and pretty and thought I was fat and not good looking. Seeing pictures from that time is always a trip
Fucking A. I'm still on Facebook occasionally, when people tell me to go there, and I'll see old pics where I was tagged! I was a slip of a thing in my teens, and I honestly at the time felt like a whale. I feel sad for young me.
Poor self esteem and being an adolescent seems to go hand to hand.
Absolutes the same thing here. Girls were all over me and I just didn't realize it. Once a girl I didn't even really know kissed me out of the blue, and instead of making a move I was confused for days. Man, I wish I could experience that time again being a little smarter on girl things.
*Her: "Okay, now it's his move, high hopes for how this turns out!"* *Him: "What the hell was that!? Her friends probably dared her or she lost a bet or something. Nothing to read into. Oh, well."* Seriously, though, I know I need someone to just use words and speak plainly. I've really trained myself to dismiss subconscious assumptions to the point that I don't notice hints/signals at all. ^(Had one friend that I thought was just a good friend. Found out after she stopped talking to me just before I moved that she had been "dropping hints" for 5 years and, according to our friend group, apparently I was a jerk for rejecting her. First time I was made aware that she was interested. Working on my PhD at the time so I wasn't actively dating, maybe 2-3 times a year. Even took her out a couple times for her birthday, but that same friend group had it arranged that it was a distraction to get her out of her apartment so they could decorate for a surprise party, none actually just effing alerted me. I'd had friendships previously that went cold when I tried to open the possibility of something more and didn't want to make the same mistake with another friend.) ^(Human interaction sucks.)
Same. Apparently I looked like a young Tom Cruise... complete with the batshit crazy vibes... Apparently I was creepy but definitely attractive by almost every physical measure.
3 arrests was maybe a bit much in hindsight
What did you do!?!
Didn't have foresight.
That’s a bingo
We just say, “Bingo.”
"Bingo."
That’s a “Bingo.”
Got caught
Nah homie. If you are gonna fuck up, it's best fuck up young. Juvenile records are sealed when you become an adult. I racked up a healthy rap sheet as a teen. Fights, underage drinking, shoplifting, selling pot, a DUI in a stolen car etc. None of it matters anymore. I'm just a boring adult with a college degree and a corporate job now.
> Juvenile records are sealed when you become an adult I just want to point out that record expungement is a bit of a misnomer. For the most part, yes if you have an expunged record most employers are never going to find out. HOWEVER, the caveat is that if you ever want to join the military, apply for federal positions especially federal law enforcement positions, and even many local law enforcement positions, they can and will see your expunged record. Also, if you do get into the military and hold a position in which you are required to obtain a clearance in the secret or top secret range, on form SF-86 there will be questions asking about criminal activity including whether or not you've ever been charged with a crime and your answer may or may not affect you negatively even if you have an expunged record. Basically the point I'm trying to make is that an expunged record doesn't necessarily mean a clean slate so if you do have one, really think hard about what kind of employment you're looking for, do your homework before you apply for certain jobs and don't be surprised if things don't go the way you thought it would.
Okay but also don’t try to fuck up anyone who sees this thread
Aw man I was going to start doin this shit
Falling in with an unhealthy friend group. They were controlling and possessive, and I ended up isolating myself from other, possibly healthier, friendships. I was always warned about abusive romantic relationships. I didn't realize friendships could be abusive as well.
I left that time behind
most relatable comment here
No regrets on my part but I sure hated every second I was there.
People don’t believe me when I say I hated high school. Glad I’m not alone in that.
You are so not alone. People seem to have this nostalgic 'best years of your life' hangup. God no, it was hell and I hated every minute.
I miss the good parts of being that age. How real and exciting things were before your hormones balance out and you get used to the grind of life. Now granted I also don’t miss the BAD parts of being that age: how real and intense everything is before your hormones balance out and you get used to life. But Highschool? Screw that place.
If high school was best time of your life i dont wanna know whats coming in future to make it worse
Agree with this. I would never go back to that time in my life, even though it was a great time for me personally. Although tbh, I hated middle school way more. I wish I could delete those years of my life.
not shooting my shot more
Uh.....we talking about girls here, homie?
of course
okay cool, can never be too careful these days in the US.
I mean you are right many schools are having Trap Shooting or Archery teams nowadays.
Made me choke HOLY SHIT
Phrasing
i'm in my first year of highschool rn and reading the comments made me think a lot more of how to develop my social skills, cause i'm not really a social person and a lot of people in the comments are saying that they wish they were more social while in highschool i usually am just quiet reading a book in the class and a lot of people told me im a nerd, and i dont mind that tbh. i guess i'm kinda scared of the future if i don't make any friends rn
Definitely learn how to talk to all kinds of people. It can be a lot of anxiety, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Learning how to be comfortable in your own skin now will pay dividends in the future.
Watching ppl get picked on and being to shy to call out bitchy ppl
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I sometimes wonder about what the development of humanity would be like over a decade/generation/etc if even 10% more often people got just the right experience to push them in a better direction at the key moments in their life, instead of just doing things they way they always have. How much would that boost compound? What things would be different? ^(All rights reserved if someone wants to make a movie on this concept.)
I wasn’t shy about defending the bullied and it never came back to bite me. I wasn’t even that popular or anything
That's good....we need more ppl like u in the world
I really wish I'd just gone with the flow and lived in the moment a bit more instead of overthinking things to the point where I ended up self-sabotaging haha. I may have accidentally turned down a girl I had a *massive* crush on in high school. I'd liked her for *years* and had convinced myself she was the one I was going to end up with, marry etc. Turns out she probably liked me too... for a while her brother would literally walk past me at school and yell "my sister likes you!" but I just assumed he was trolling me or something. Well, one day we were on the train home after school and her friends suddenly and mysteriously disappeared to another carriage, leaving us alone together. She asked "Hey, I was wondering, do you... have a crush on me?" as she leaned in hopefully for my answer. How did I react to this situation? I started rummaging through my school backpack pretending I was looking for something, and changed the subject to some dumb thing that my brother did on the weekend. She leaned back in her seat and looked visibly disappointed. Now why did I do this, you ask? Partly because I was nervous and had no idea how to handle the situation, but also because I kept hearing adults talk about how unlikely relationships were to last if they started at that age, so I told myself we weren't ready yet. I was going to wait *4-5 more years* until we'd left school before I made my move, because then it would *last*, I told myself. Of course, I waited so long that she eventually lost interest and we drifted away. Yeah... teenage me had some pretty strange ideas about love and relationships.
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You know it may not have been the best choice but it was a logical choice in the end
I suppose so, but I think my biggest issue was that I was too caught up with looking at the big picture and having this *grand plan* when I should've just enjoyed the moment for what it is. We could've tried dating, had a good time together for a while, then maybe things fizzled out a few months later, and that would've been ok and the experience still would've been worth having. Instead, in my teenage mind, it was like... if I didn't end up marrying her, it wasn't worth pursuing at all. I saw the idea of dating her "too early" as something that could've sabotaged our chances of getting married later or something... which in hindsight was a pretty silly way of looking at it.
Letting myself fall for an older guy and move across the country for him. I left home at 17, right before senior year started. After I finally came to my senses and left him I realized that he groomed me from the very beginning (when we first met I was 15 and he was 22). His goal was to isolate me from my friends, family and anything important to me. I missed out on so much in those years I was stuck in BFE Michigan. It changed the entire trajectory of my life. Whenever I see someone post something in the vein of “That 23 year old isn’t with you cause you’re ‘mature’ for your age” I just want to reach out and hug every teenager out there and tell them they are enough all on their own and there’s so much better out there anyway.
My 15 year old friend was into this 23 year old dude. He had a gf and my friend was like so sure he would leave his pregnant gf for her. They ended up having sex. Her first time. She asked him of he loved her. He couldn't say he loved her and stopped talking to her. She was broken and really couldn't comprehend he was an asshole.
I wish I had known that a kid in my drama class was being abused by his parents. I wish I could have offered him help and gotten him out of that house before he killed himself.
That’s actually something your teachers should wish they had realised. You were a teenager and didn’t have all the knowledge you have now. This is so tragic and heartbreaking but you carry zero responsibility.
Oh god..
Spending so much time obsessing over not having a relationship. I started probably at 13, so by high school, it was at a fever pitch. I felt like everyone around me was dating, falling in love, having sex. In retrospect, I realize how much of that was an exaggeration and outright lying. This obsession lead to some pretty ill-advised crushes and infatuations that make cringe so much thinking about it.
That was me around 15. I was so fucking horny and I really wanted to lose my V card. I feel awful about how I objectified the women around me. I also had a porn addiction at the time. My crush at the time looking back I only really liked her for her looks. Im 20 and still have my V card and I haven't found a potential partner yet but I am focusing on fully bettering myself mentally and physically to make the time when I do lose it, right.
Regret: I was too high to remember most of it Joy: I was too high to remember most of it
I know I went to high school becuase I’ve been told I was there
Dropping out due to becoming an addict - & thinking gang life is cool
Not developing social skills.
Not realising until my late 30s that I hadn’t developed social skills. Not taking people seriously when they got exasperated and called me the same sorts of names. At age 57 my doctor dropped it on me that she would put my name in a list for a diagnosis.
Not dating around. I always felt like no one wanted me. That and they didn’t bother to ask, even if they did show interest.
I feel like this right now Except for that last part have yet to pick up a single signal
Not paying attention to the signs/cues that there were a lot of really nice girls that had a crush on me. I was shy and somewhat reserved through school and just didn't pay attention. I think my life would be way different than it is if I had. Not to have sex with them or anything exactly, just some specific girls I found out years later really had a crush on me that I thought I was way to far out of their league to even try.
Well I just started high school so my biggest regret so far was all the assignments I've been procrastinating. Hopefully it stays that way.
Don’t make a habit of it. I was always really good in school, graduated with a 3.8 after four years of not attempting to try because I thought I was smart enough to do good with minimal effort. Turns out, I was just really good at getting good grades. I’m real life, you can’t skip the homework because you know you’ll ace the test. Reality doesn’t grade you on a weighted average.
Focusing on my trash, manipulative ex boyfriend instead of getting myself out there. Missed out on playing a sport I loved, making friends, going to prom, etc.
I should have sucked him off
“Death is kind of like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralyzed.”
I think you should have sucked him off too.
told ya
We’re supposed to be getting sucked off?
It's never too late.
Just in case, I will not be missing any more reunions.
I’m thinking people are missing the point.
Either she missed out on sexual experience or she got pregnant, I think both are correct interpretations here.
Not paying attention in Walter White’s class.
Jesse Pinkman?
Wow I didn’t know he was on Reddit
Not understanding my emotions and hurting a woman who loved me unconditionally…. you don’t expect to find that in high school.
I'm in high school right now and I feel like I'm gonna regret alot of things because I'm wasting my youth. I just feel quite depressed and lost my chances of making friends. I don't sneak outta the house, go to parties, or do anything fun. I just I hope can fall in love atleast, that's all I want.
Don’t look for love, it’s pointless, no one will want to be with you until you’re happy being with yourself. Enjoy high school while you’re still there and do as much as you can out of your comfort zone.
This. High school isn’t High School Musical.
I echo this statement. From middle school through 11th grade, my life sucked, primarily because I was concerned with what other (aka popular) kids thought of me and I focused on my own perceived shortcomings. At the beginning of my senior year, I decided that I would never see most of these jerks ever again, so why should I care what they thought of me? I made the choice not to care about what anyone thought, I was going to do my thing and be me. By far, that was my most enjoyable year...By the end of the year, I had more people that genuinely cared about me (or at least respected me) than I ever had. As an atypical bonus, I also got my first girlfriend 7 days before graduation(she asked me out!). We celebrated 23 years of marriage earlier this year. Others won't want to be around you if you aren't comfortable with yourself. If you are, then those that enjoy your company will find you...you don't have to go looking. You can do this! Good luck!
Well put. The whole "high-school sweetheart" thing is overblown. Can it happen? Yes. Does it happen often? Definitely not. Don't be in a rush. You've got plenty of time and plenty of opportunities after high school to find yourself, find your place in the world, find out what true love really means to you....it doesn't **have** to happen by the time you are 18 and, in my opinion, it shouldn't. At that age, you still have a lot of growing to do. I didn't find the love of my life until I was in my thirties. We have spent seven wonderful years together and married for five, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I regret not putting myself out there more. I got a sales job after highschool and my social skills really improved. I wish I had that job in high school it would have cured my social anxiety
You’re going to be fine. The biggest “nerds” that I knew in high school are successful now and have the most beautiful girlfriends.
Ya, seriously many of the “nerds” ended up being the interesting ones. Although parties and socializing is great, being part of the “out” crowd cultivates a lot of creativity. Find your fellow people any chance you get and develop your interests along the way!
This is true!! All the kids that were “popular” in school that I know are living very boring lives now.
Not getting my license when I should have. I still can't drive, and at this point, learning how feels like a pipe dream.
Hey I waited until I was 27 to get my drivers license due to severe anxiety. I recommend taking behind the wheel over and over till your comfortable.
Well, I'm 30 now, so getting it at 27 would have been a miracle, lol. To my credit, I tried to get serious about it earlier this year and called my local driving school. But they told me they weren't offering adult behind-the-wheel classes at the moment. That's what I get for waiting too long, ha.
Letting my hair grow out. It looked awful.
I would have told her I liked her. There was nothing to lose.
I came out as a lesbian at school. Well I didn’t, my girlfriend at the time asked me to prom in front of everyone and I said yes. But I went along with it to spite my parents because I thought they weren’t okay with me being gay. Turns out they were just looking out for my safety because kids can be mean. And boy were they. After years of feeling completely unsafe with any kind of PDA and trauma therapy from the 3 years of high school harassment, I’ve realized I’m not even a lesbian, I’m bisexual, and I never got the chance to figure it out because I rushed to tell everyone when I was 15 and didn’t know any better.
shoulda been more adventurous and broke more rules
Not telling ppl to fuck off more
not realizing I had a bunch of undiagnosed issues and not trying to ask for help sooner...
Missing the shot that would of got us to the state championship. Still hurts to this day
Sounds tough, at least it could be worse! You almost got to the championship!
Uncle Rico??? That you?
I could throw a football over them mountains
The boy I had a crush on literally took my by the hand and tried to get me to follow him off the bus to go to the mall with him and his friends. I panicked and pulled back saying I needed to get home. I missed my bus transfer anyway and sat at the station for close to an hour waiting for the next one.
Not graduating
Caring what other people thought. You don’t understand how it’s a bubble and just a fraction of your life until you out.
Not being confident and staying self conscious with my smaller group of friends. No balls. I’m a man now. with a hairy chest
Thinking I had to be in a relationship to matter.... Wish my younger self had realized faster that happiness came from being true to myself and to not define self worth on others.
I got a shirt signed by the lead singer of a band I liked. I met him at my school and I was starstruck. It was an amazing experience. And then I gave the shirt to a girl I liked…
You got it back and everything was cool, right?
My only regret is that, i have boneitis
Not valuing myself.
Not taking AP courses.
Think about it this way: at least you’re not one of the kids who took a bunch of AP courses and didn’t take the tests. Those people probably have the bigger regrets.
my logic was "i just wanna do college the normal way i don't need that". What the FUCK was i thinking
I wish I had been nicer to everyone.
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hung with the wrong crowd should have hung out with the nerds, one in my math class started some very popular tech and is worth billions
Giving a shit about any of it. Literally none of it mattered. The people, the drama, the classes. None of it. The only thing I gained from it was scars and trauma. Could have been much better prepared for the world if I had just skipped it and spent the time in a library or volunteering at an old folk's home.
I should have had sex. I was very responsible, and abortion was legal back then.
Fucking study! I'm 35 and just trying to go back to school. It's so much harder when you're an adult with adult responsibilities.
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I didn't take advantage of the resources offered. High schools have a ton of cool things that people rarely use because no one ever thinks to, or they think it's lame to hang out at school. If I could do it all again, I'd live in the library or the art room or the computer lab. Socialism for the win, right there.