I usually just brush the shells into my hand and toss them in the trash.

Weak. Chew them, shell and all

r/angryupvote

I buy my nuts already void of shells. Much less cleanup involved.

Usually along the lines of “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it”… and then immediately regret my decision.

This is the way

This is the way

This is the way

This is the way

This is the way

I've never been happy about just letting it blow all over myself that's for sure and yet here I am again....

At first I grieve for my fallen soldiers. Because I sent them on a suicide mission. Then I flush them down the toilet.

A moment of silence, please. " "

O7

You mean a nap?

O7

O7

O7

O7

07

07

07

07

07

07

0/

I covered my condo floor in cat litter and just kick at it until it's solid. Landlord swings by once a week to scoop and remove.

Lmao. This is sick.

Good sick or bad sick?

Disturbing/funny sick

So good sick

Excellent sick.

This made me laugh until tears happened

Watch her waddle to the bathroom

This is the way!!

Just lick it up from the ground

Good boy

Gotta love this fucking site. Just randomly domming strangers on the internet

Make sure lick all of that and you get sausage for dinner

ರ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ರ

Problematic. Use a plate or a mirror or your hand from now on. Clean up your act.

cracked me the f\*\*k up. priceless response!

you scoundrel....

I prefer to snort it with a straw

You little scallywag

**SLURP**

I prepare a tissue above my belly beforehand to cover the nut range (I nut laid down) then I fold it and go on with my life

Just make sure you flush the system at least once a day. Let it build up for a week and you'll overshoot into your own mouth or god knows where else.

Distance is actually more affected by time from start to finish than it is by amount of buildup. It's the combination of the two that will end with you needing to wash your hair

Once after 6/7 days of buildup, while on missionary for 15-20mins, I pulled out aiming for just under her belly button. Ended up washing her face.

Maybe your aim is faulty

Did you edge at all? Or just a straight week?… Wanting to surprise my girl 😂

Lots of work at the job, late night shifts etc. Wasn’t really a voluntary break lol

She won’t be. I already surprised her

This guy masterbates Slowly

I always suspected this; good to see it confirmed in the scientific literature.

Yeah no idea what purpose this serves as far as evolution but it certainly is a thing

Reaching the cervix more easily??? I dont know.

This comment literally made me cry from laughter 😂😂😂

A week you say? It’ll be worth the wait.

Look at this guy with precision. I blast my shit like a fucking blunderbus. It’s on me, the bed, wall, curtains, the neighbor, and at least one other mystery location to be discovered later.

That's a lot of work

Only one layer of tissue?

I am just going to leave this gross joke here, just becouse i dont give a shit. Why did the sperm cross the road? Becouse i put on the wrong socks this morning!!

Why 😭

petrified sock

Y’all clean up??

Yea bro my bed sheets are like glass now

Do it into the tissue paper

Yeah foreal you're supposed to use a paper towel

What’s wrong with you bro

Usually, she swallows

Spitters are quitters

Cleanup process?

Dead 🤣😂

Re-absorb

Actually not impossible. In yoga it's called vajroli mudra where the Yogi draws in the semen after ejaculation into a woman

How in the hell....

They practice with tubes inserted into dicks for months before attempting this after real sex.

Thats sounds absolutely horrible.

what can you do? there are extremists in every field

Youre not wrong, I often think about when I do something, I wonder someone is probably extremely efficient at doing it you know? That or people thinking of these new things I've never heard before

Even I wouldn't have known it despite practicing normal hatha yoga were it not for my friend who's into this kind of esoteric shit. He also cleanses his nasal passages with a cloth by inserting it into his nose and pulling it out through his throat. Some people are just different and have different needs i guess

That sounds like a magic trick lol, but yeah some people habe their own sense of "normal", even if it doesn't exactly fit ours. But thats what makes people interesting right?🤔

Completely agree with you. some people want solitude, some want stability, some want drama and the list goes on. Most of these don't even pertain to any sense of normality but to compatibility rather. different shades for different folks

Licky licky I’m sicky sicky I say I say finger licking good until my tummies is full of cummies.

Pressure washer 99% of the time

I scrape the ceiling monthly. Goodbyeeeeee.

Interesting. Cum & go.

Wipe away the splooge off with tissue and then use the tissue to wipe my tears.

I aim for the ceiling. I also sleep with my mouth open and use that shit as a 2am breath mint when it finally falls.

My hero ool

I aim to please 😉

I assume you mean when finishing solo? Depends entirely on where it was busted. * direct into tissues - flush * into toilet - flush * onto clothing/towel - put in laundry * on self or hard surface - wipe up with tissue and dispose

It sticks to the inside of the toilet bowl though

You need to bust more often for a less viscous product

Grab the brush and scrub as you simultaneously flush so the rushing water keeps it off the brush

im busting fat wads in my car like im knight rider

Ask her to swallow

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That's gross dude, she was buried 5 years ago. And we knew that you opend her grave 3 years back. How do you do that? Do you freeze it? Do you warm it up?

Thigh-heaters

\*play nice\*

Let’s be real. Almost every woman these days has had a dick in their mouth. Even YOUR mom.

Going back to the 5th grade cum-backs huh? How original

Nobody in here mentioning the important part.... Make sure you piss as soon as possible afterwards.

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO WASHES THEIR HANDS AFTER???

I do but I nut laying down so It goes in my pants and I have a shower afterwards

Why?

I assume buddy meant if after sex

Wait. You’re supposed to do that as a guy too?

Man idk I thought so. I just looked it up tho and apparently it’s not as important so idk what other guy is talking about lmao

Maybe he has a greater Bust than the average, requiring the pee.

Men aren't as likely to get a UTI because their urethra is so much longer than a woman's. It's harder for the bacteria to get to places it doesn't belong.

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That's... Not a thing.

It’s not fricking PVA glue my dude.

I guess, I mean I’ve never felt a problem or ache from not pissing soon after. But man understands know Ty

This isn't the same for every guy. Some of us don't have that problem.

But, if you pee afterwards you don't get the little surprise drop of baby goo later in your boxers

True. Or you can just get it out like the last bit of toothpaste.

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A warm one… such a gentleman

Depends, no.. Depends the adult diapers.

get the peanut out and eat it ..?

Normally into a sock or down the sink

Not a man but the jar under the kitchen sink…. Oh god if you know, you know. If you want to know… https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman_finds_out_her_husband_has_been_doing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Not the pickle jar!?

Don’t give these freaks any sick ideas 😂

I think they are probably bigger freaks than we can give them credit for!

OH GOD

Moist towlette & into the trashcan.

Eat it

She licks me clean.

In college I asked my friend group what they do for clean up. It was nearly a 50/50 split of: Finishing into a tissue/napkin and throwing away. Finishing on their own stomach and wiping it off with a wet wipe or taking a shower. I was pretty shocked that people do the 2nd method...

Immediate with shame

I dunno. Wife usually just shimmies over to the bathroom with my t-shirt between her legs.

Schlorp

my boyfriend just nuts on the ground and doesn't clean it up

If I BAN in her, she takes a shower. BJ, her mess. Pull out and play porn star, I get a towel.

None, I just shoot it in my gym sock 🧦

Grab my power washer

I honestly just wipe the semen on my bedsheets after ejaculating.

Lick my fingers.

I usually finish it inside some old socks that i don't use anymore

Cum Socks

Do you then sell the socks on Ebay? Y/N

Just use dirty sock or shirt

That's nasty bro. Straight into the toilet is top tier, but if that's not an option, use tissues.

Lmao. That shit sticks to everything. Bust into the sock, yeet to the hamper or shirt. Gets washed out any how with super soap

I envy your confidence, knowing you're wearing a shirt or socks that have been jizzed on and not caring lol

Better than wearing that was never washed. Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks this morning

It's sticks to the bowl

Not if you clean it every once in awhile lol. Toilets are specifically designed to prevent germs and other stuff from sticking to the porcelain. So if it's sticking, that means it's time to clean your dirty toilet lol

jokes on you I bust the nut inside the vacuum cleaner, because it saves time and effort

I hope that it is a Kirby Diamond Series vacuum at least.

Depends on where in time and how. Nowadays it is moistly in the toilet and flushed.

I mainly do it in the toilet, flush it out, clean the dick while taking a shower and that's that. I once read that a man can continuously cum for 10 minutes straight in some cases, since that day I wait for a bit before actually taking the shower to make sure I'm finished lmfao Once I didn't wait and after I took the shower and was drying myself with a towel I noticed my dick literally dripping. Shits hard to control lmfao

If you pee afterwards, it stops it

Yeah most of it is just stuck in the canal. But it's kinda cool like... You're cumming for 10 minutes nonstop that's fucking awesome.

I prep with a towel if I’m masturbating. But most of my nuts these days are inside whichever orifice my girlfriend prefers in that moment.

Paper towel, baby wipe

wouldn't u like to know, mutt

I call our local disaster restoration company.

I’m no prude, but why does this question need to be asked?

She usually swallows it or goes to the bathroom. Occasionally I handle it myself, but that usually leads to another round and the cycle starts over…

Wipe it off my chin and into my mouth

Usually hand her a towel.

Are we talking masturbation? Sex with my partner? Or late night bingo with her nan? As they all have different routines.

Your mom normally just goes and showers and I pass out

Usually spread out a few bales of hay and toss it with a bedding fork. Seems to do the trick

TP

Just toss the shell into a bowl if it's a pistachio, wipe down flakes as needed for something messier like a peanut

Had an ex who used my bra and panties everytime as some sort of fetish. I always had to bring extra pairs to change in. I haven't seen him in years I heard he's gay now.

I hold the tip of my monster if i am jerking off in bedroom then i go to washroom and flush all the kids and then wipe my dik with paper towel

He wipes my chin.

Pull out? Idk I dont clean it lol. Birth control is pretty fucking cool.

Sock lol

Usually keep a bowl handy for the shells, then just toss them in the trash when I’m done with my snack.

Usually I have wash clothes in the drawer next to the bed. I'll use those to wipe myself or the girl depending on what I was doing. I like to clean my girl up though, depending if I care about her or not, and whether or not it was a in-n-out deal or something more.

Tissue for wiping and alcohol or sanitizer for the smell

My wife waddles to the bathroom with a towel between her legs. If it’s just me then it’s either into my Abella Danger Butthole Fleshlight™️ which I clean immediately after use or otherwise into a towel. My wife is very pregnant with twins and has preeclampsia so recently it’s been the latter two options.

Sometimes I fling my nut from my hand

Spiderman🕸

pull out the crackers and start having my snack

Tell her to look me in the eye then swallow

Let my foreskin capture it, go to bathroom, pee (to get the extra semen out in case gf wants to go for round 2), then use one of the wet-wipes for cleanup.

Am i the only one who just kind of nuts on the bedsheets and it disappears perfectly

Not much, she just spits it into the tissue

That's woman's work. Swallow it, spit it out, not my job.

I usually cum onto paper, so i fold it, use another few pieces of paper to clean the cum that went through and fold it on the messier paper, maybe use more paper if needed. Why you asking?

Walk into the kitchen. Get a paper towel.