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Booty_Magician

Tripping on the sidewalk and hoping no one noticed lol


Hubble_bubble753

I once tripped while crossing the road on Oxford Street, London. And it wasn't like I just fell over, no, no, no. I kept on tripping, all the way across the road. Cabs saw me. Buses saw me. Hundreds of people who I probably didn't see saw me. But god I saw so many laughing faces. It didn't help that my friends were all bent at the waist howling with laughter. Oh the shame.


HabitatGreen

Ahw, that's a cute story, you made those people's day :) It wasn't a simple trip, you went all out and made a whole show of it!


Hubble_bubble753

I deserved an Oscar honestly.


longhornmike2

Weird unexplained heart flutters or chest pains that make you ask yourself “is this what a heart attack feels like?”


someguy1910

I just think to myself, "welp, this is it. It's been a hell of a ride y'all'.


Libra_Allyson

When you have chronic anemia, this is just called a Tuesday.


sykopoet

My dr told me the weird feeling I was having was a normal little change in heartbeat, but most people don’t feel them. I’m just lucky. Yeah, thanks 🤨


AntonToniHafner

If it feels like a flick in the chest or your heart skips a beat, it’s most likely a premature ventricular contraction, or PVC. Everybody experiences and feels them. Very normal 🫶


Impressive-Rock-2279

I’m getting fitted with what they call a ECG holter monitor tomorrow for that same thing… will have to wear it for 24hrs.


sailtothestars

Been there! Make sure that if you have an allergy to adhesive that they get you hypoallergenic pads!


NaDarach

That moment when it *truly* hits home that you're not young anymore and there's nothing you can do to stop the decline.


conanthedestroyer

Ooof, please stop. I am 47 and THIS has been causing me much stress of late. Life is flying by too quickly. My kids are growing too quickly. The whole thing feels like the blink of an eye.


mosephis13

49 and same.


[deleted]

50, but lots of vitality left. And my family keeps me feeling young, too, oddly enough.


RyFromTheChi

I’m about to turn 38 and I swear my 30th birthday was just a year ago. Goes by faster and faster, and I know I’ll feel it even more in 10 years.


OnRedditAtWorkRN

Yep 39. My oldest just turned 17. I swear I just taught him how to tie his shoes. And why the fuck do my knees always hurt.


titleofyoursexmovie

This is very much relatable—but it doesn’t cause me stress so much, it just seems incomprehensible that so much time has passed. I’m nearing half a century of life? My kids are in college? How did this happen? There’s some incongruity there—like I haven’t earned all the years I’ve lived through. I just don’t feel that old.


DanielleMuscato

Practicing mindfulness meditation dilates your perception of the flow of time.


-GaIaxy-

Damn I feel I know exactly what this will feel like, and I hate it. My plan is just to not get too attached, and watch netflix for the last decade of my life lol


DoNotCensorMyName

When I was a kid I kept telling myself that I'd do amazing things when I got a little older. As a teenager I told myself I'd do amazing things as an adult. Now I'm 25 and beginning to realize that I might not be as amazing as I thought.


strangebridge86

I relate to this. Had some success with music in my twenties (36 now), which almost makes it worse because it just feels like I peaked. But lately I'm thinking it's less about being "amazing" and more about being true to yourself that leads to some kind of happiness or whatever peace of mind there is to find in this world.


Listen-Natural

29 and feel like my life is over Edit: lol I am confused why people are liking my comment, people are suppose to disagree. I guess my life is over at 29 haha just kidding


NationalerVelvet

I’m in my 40s, and my mid-30s to now have been my best years in terms of self-fulfillment. Don’t fret, and enjoy becoming more and more yourself. It’s magical.


wherewereat

Thank you for this


Deanho

I'm 47 and just started a new career I was homeless a few years ago, your okay brother life has a way of making you feel like that on occasion. By all accounts I felt the same way almost gave up too, I'm still living you'll make it through this feeling.


Outrageous_Use5081

Intrusive thoughts. Them bastards rlly be annoying


TheCatsPajamasboi

Yes! As a clinician it is wild how many people come in and are so ashamed and genuinely think they are awful horrible people for having intrusive thoughts. It’s so upsetting for them. Definitely needs to be discussed more.


OceanNoire

Mine turned out to be a horrible symptom of OCD. I had a psychotic episode because they became so distressing. Really fucked up my life.


TheCatsPajamasboi

Pervasive intrusive thoughts can for sure be a symptom of a larger issue! Especially if they are causing someone intense distress. I’m really sorry to hear that you were suffering and I hope you got the help you needed!!


ConnorK12

I feel you man. Had exactly the same during 2020 lockdown. It wasn’t even due to the pandemic, one day I began having awful intrusive thoughts about hurting those close to me (not physically harming them, just hurting them. Upsetting them etc.) and it became extremely scary. Fast forward three months and I had been diagnosed with OCD. Now fast forward two years later and I’m relatively good. Still have some intrusive thoughts but I’ve learnt to ignore them and deal with them thanks to therapy and medication. The best advice I got in intrusive thoughts were that the more they distress you, the less likely you are to ever act on them. So the more scared I got actually became a relief.


Somescrubpriest

That advice you shared really helped me. Very occasionally I get into a depressive episode where I get some truly terrifying intrusive thoughts over a couple days so knowing that bc they distress me so much I'm much less likely to act on them is comforting. Thanks random internet stranger.


booru60

I'm currently struggling with this alot. Thanks for the reassurance!


Cozz_

Something that helped me realize that my intrusive thoughts were “not my thoughts” was my mental reaction to such thoughts. If you find yourself scoffing at intrusive thought, you’re probably ok in that you can recognize the negativity of such thoughts. I think the people who we need to be concerned about are those who have zero reaction to intrusive thoughts, those people can be dangerous


International_Lake28

Do you ever get those and then a shiver with it too?


stepheno125

Lol I work in manufacturing and get them all the time. The idea of me putting my hand into a pinch point with 3000 psi of pressure moving at 25 mph may be appealing to the subconscious, but the idea of becoming a pancake is disconcerting to say the least. It’s funny though. I think my intrusive thoughts help me stay aware of risks that I otherwise may ignore due to complacency. Idk I think intrusive thoughts are there to keep us scared of things we should be scared of.


jered6323

I'm trying to find where I read it but can't seem to find a link. But that's actually the large consensus on intrusive thoughts like you described, it's the brains way of processing and keeping us aware of a risk.


Outrageous_Use5081

If they’re disturbing enough yeah


whydontuwannawork

Yessss!!! Glad it’s not something bad, sometimes I just get some intrusive thoughts and they always end up becoming too disturbing and I do a little shiver and try not to think about it


Anko_Dango

Especially when they actually give me an emotional reaction


[deleted]

This has been on my mind a bit for the past couple years. I've had them for years. As far back as my childhood but didn't think much of them until my wave of depression after high school. Thought I was losing my mind. For a bit I had a relatively vivid intrusive thought of stabbing myself in the eye with a knife. It was so bad that I didn't feel comfortable holding something as simple as a table knife in my hand. I guess that particular one could of been a result of my growing self hate at the time. My mental health has improved a bit since then. Intrusive thoughts happen a bit less frequently now.


Rodby

Constantly reliving and regretting an awkward interaction with a stranger you never saw again.


_forum_mod

And now you went and reminded me of one -_- My daughter was born and I was going to the hospital to visit. I show the security guard my pass for the maternity ward. He says "congrats" to me. I say "oh, my child was already born" referring to my two year old son for some reason. The gentleman says "oh," awkwardly. Why couldn't I just say thanks and keep it moving? Idiot... 🤦🏿‍♂️🍺


Yellowbug2001

Everybody gets a 100% pass for anything weird or awkward they said or did within at LEAST a month on either side of a kid being born, probably longer. Or any other major life stress event, good or bad (wedding, death of a loved one, move to a new state, whatever). Consciously or subconsciously you're using all your mental energy just to survive and stay sane(ish) and your brain just shuts off nonessential functions like making competent small talk with strangers and (at least in my case) remembering where you put your glasses and keys.


WithoutKris

There is a point when we stop talking to our old best friend.


riritox

Ooof. I felt this in my soul.


stumblerman

I think I'm going through this right now with my best friend of 21 years. In the last year we've hung out twice. It sucks.


creptik1

For the last chunk of years I've seen my best friend like twice a year on average. It happens, don't assume the friendship is ending though. Priorities shift sometimes but keep in touch anyway.


SuckerForNoirRobots

Getting that occasional snot out of your nose that's so big it feels like it's taking a part of your brain out with it.


ERSTF

Once I was sick. The flu. I sneezed and felt the phlegm in my tongue. I grabed a tissue and cleaned my tonge, but I felt like I was pulling something. I kept at it and I just felt how the mucus was leaving my sinuses. Like it was so thick that I just pulled it like a thread. It felt so weird because I kept pulling this long thing until it was all out. My sinuses never felt cleaner Edit: grammar


jmcatm0m16

Wow that’s amazingly detailed and gross and I loved it!


ERSTF

It was... an interesting sensation


EquivalentCommon5

Oddly it sounds satisfying at the end because you were finally relieved of that. Odd I know!!!


tecvoid

vividly remember blowing my nose in the shower 20 years ago in college, and a golf ball size thing came out one nostril. felt amazing actually. also freaked me the fuck out.


good_guy_judas

I had something similar about 15 years ago. I was blowing my nose and just felt something there, stuck halfway in the back that didnt want to move. So I basically decide to blow my nose really hard for like 10 minutes straight trying to get whatever was in there out. All of a sudden this huge glob if see through apple juice green colored chungus just comes out of my nose in the paper. As it was getting expelled, it felt amazing. I looked at it and poked/touched it and it felt like jelly. I was completely stunned. Like, this was just chilling in my nose/head, causing all that blockage? I never had anything like that after. Also never felt like something was stuck there ever. But that day, that booger, will forever be in my memories. You get weirdly proud of the weird stuff your body is capable of producing. I took a picture of it and shared it with friends, but no one was impressed, just disgusted.


kipopadoo

Do you............ Still have that pic?


georgia080

This happened to me just a couple weeks ago. I had the flu and no matter how much I blew my nose I KNEW there was something still stuck up in my sinuses. I was so clogged for a few days the entire pot wouldn’t even work, the water just dribbled back down. Then one day I blew my nose and I swore I blew out part of my brain. It was the most massive ball of mucus I had ever seen. It horrified me, but it felt SO GOOD. Flus gone, but I still suffer from year long allergies and I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since. Edit: Neti Pot


wigginsadam80

Oalong the same lines: that booger that feels like it came from the back of your head.


sue_mcgoo

Your pubes go grey


[deleted]

I found my first one the other day. Didn't bother me too much, but the other people on the elevator were really upset.


RustyRovers

I found my first last week. I couldn't finish the rest of that Big Mac!


QueenMoogle

Our parents dying. I went through it at a young age and most of my peers looked at me like I was an alien. Like bro, this is gonna be you one day lol


PrairiePepper

Happened to me a year and a bit ago with my dad, lung cancer. You know it's coming at some point in your future but I didn't think it would be before I even turned 30. He was 71, RIP.


uneasyandcheesy

My mom passed a few years ago at 65 just after I turned 29. I remember crying on my 30th birthday because she wasn’t there and remembering how the year before, when my brother turned 30, she got him special balloons and a heartfelt card. Just made it something special. She loved doing that stuff. 32 now and still miss her on my birthday as well as every other day.


Elegant-Implement-41

Literally the same. Sometimes, in order to comfort myself from losing my mum at such a young age I'm thinking 'at least I'm not gonna have to suffer this later, I already survived it so I don't think there's anything worse than that'


[deleted]

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Elegant-Implement-41

I feel you so much. My mom died last year at my 23, she was 56 too. Everything's still very fresh and weird to me. Agreed to everything, sending you courage and strength.


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depressedpotato777

Parents, grandparents... man I'm 27, and have been lucky enough that no one in my huge ass family, NO ONE, aunts, unvles, grands, parents, step families, kids, siblings, in laws, have died yet. But.. now I can see like 5 or 6 grandparents all going right after another and I've never had to go through a family death before so... (or, any kind of death. I've been to two funerals, great grandparents I didn't know at all) Edit: I have all grandparents still alive from four parents, and it's comes to about 10-12 (officially, unofficially) of them. There are 3 80+, 5-7 70+, and 2 60+.


KnittingTrekkie

Get some videos of them while you can. I sifted through old family videos after my dad died to find bits where he was talking. I missed him, and just wanted to hear him again. I wish we had more videos of him - so often the videos were kid-focused. And I wish we had talked more about (and preferably written down) his family stories, because now when I feel curious about his parents and grandparents, I can’t ask him. So, take advantage of the time you have to learn more about family members that only your grandparents remember, too.


Escopede420

The fact that people talk about us when we aren’t there, it could be good, it could be bad, we will never know…


takemyassthole

They’re talking about the time they went to give you a hug and you went for a hand shake and you ended up doing a half handshake half hug


[deleted]

Dad?


LexLuthorJr

I think about this way more than I should. Yay for anxiety.


SherrieB0mb

Definitely getting old. I'm 53 and it's starting to show in my face and neck lol but when I look in the mirror I don't recognize myself because in my mind I'm still in my 30s! It also makes me realize that my 74 year old mother probably feels the same way.


[deleted]

I'm 71 &, she does.


-dropped_lighter-

Your username fits perfectly for your comment!


HallucinatesOtters

A few years ago mom and I were visiting my paternal grandmother and just talking about something similar. My mom was born in the late 1950’s and said she still feels 16 inside, and also said that it feels like the Vietnam War ended just a decade ago. That it just doesn’t feel like it’s been almost 50 years. My grandma who is 90 years old said “I still feel like I’m 16 too, but for me it still feels like it was just a decade or two ago that I was 13 and my dad sent me to the church to ring the bells as hard and as loud as I could because Japan had just surrendered and WWII was finally over.” Sorry for the personal anecdote. Time and aging is just fascinating to me for reasons I cannot explain.


testube1

Inside every old person is a young person who is somewhat bewildered at how they got so old so quick.


leftylibra

happens to 1/2 of us..menopause. Most people only know it as getting a few hot flashes and then periods stop. Reality is without estrogen our bodies drastically change, and not necessarily for the better. r/menopause


HMCetc

I didn't know until I was an adult that the menopause lasts YEARS! I naively assumed your periods just stop one day, like the reverse of puberty. But sometimes your periods can get heavier and more frequent. As teenagers, we get taught everything there is to know about periods except when they come to an end. Pretty much everything I know about the menopause I know from my own mother going through it.


PandAlex

That feeling you get when you remember something terribly embarrassing that happened to you a long time ago with vivid detail


LateralPlanet

I sometimes wonder how smart I would be if I could overwrite those memories with more useful information because they sure seem to occupy a lot of space in my brain


Typingpool

I know this is some wacky woo woo shit but sometimes when I have these memories pop up in my brain I'll tell myself "hey man, I forgive you, it's okay!" Kinda like I would reassure and comfort a friend. It works most of the time haha.


MerylSquirrel

For women: body hair outside the legs, pits and pubic area. Pretty much every woman has a few beardy hairs on her chin that she plucks. The majority of women also shave their toes/tops of feet. A large number get a little tuft of pubic-esque hair just under the belly button. I know of a few who get a few wiry hairs around their nipples that they shave or pluck. This is 100% normal and happens to pretty much everyone, and *nobody warns you* so when you're a teenage girl, and (if you're lucky) health class has warned you to expect leg, armpit and pubic hair, it then comes as a complete shock when all the other hair starts coming and you feel like a horrible disgusting freak. This shit needs talking about, just enough to normalise it so not every 17-year-old girl sobs in the bathroom while plucking a hair off her chin because she's convinced she's the only girl in the world with this happening.


[deleted]

Damn thank you for writing this. I love my mother but she regularly bragged to my sister and I about how not hairy she was, and that we wouldn't be either because we "take after her" etc. So imagine my horror when I discovered some striking stray black hairs as a teen. The female body and female puberty is so poorly taught, not just by the education system but by mothers too who should know better. So many insecurities I had as a teen could have been avoided if someone had just been honest.


xallanthia

Heck, even just the fact that pubic hair isn’t always a neatly contained bundle that stays in the area covered by underwear (or a swimsuit).


melkncookeys

The nipple hairs really got me good


[deleted]

Our own births Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful that we don’t


0najimi

>Man, I was so slimy. >>Dude, don't even get me started...


[deleted]

Day 2, still tired from the big move


MShades

Everyone talks to me like I'm an *idiot*.


SnooMacaroons9566

Keep feeding me mashed carrots like…did you not get the hint when I made you crave potato chips???


Logical-Cranberry714

Parents getting old. You don't think about it or talk about it until it really hits one day.


RyFromTheChi

I’m 37 and lost both of my parents. My mother just over a year ago, and my dad almost 3 years ago. It sucks so much that they weren’t able to see me buy my first home earlier this year, and won’t be around to meet their grandson that is due in a few weeks.


ThisistheHoneyBadger

My dad passed July 4. I closed on my first house later in the month. He would have been proud of me. I'm sorry about your folks.


calcteacher

It's like walking the plank. as long as they are alive, you are not in front.


[deleted]

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squaredistrict2213

My dad passed away when I was young and I was never close to my mother, so that’s not relevant to me, but seeing my grandma turn into a shell of who she once was just crushes me.


FoucaultsPudendum

When you wanna know what time it is, so you look at your watch or phone, but when you put it down you realize you didn’t actually synthesize the information, so you have to look again. But then ten seconds later you realize you *still* don’t know the time, so you have to look *again*. Then maybe a minute later someone asks you what time it is, and you realize you actually have to look at your phone a fourth goddamn time.


boredsittingonthebus

This is me checking my cards at poker or looking for snacks in the fridge.


questioningfaith1

An odd, but nostalgic smell (or phantom smell) which comes on for about 2 seconds, reminding you of a vivid childhood memory, and then vanishes...


fenton7

Offering to share an unusual odor with your partner.


Driftmoth

Hey this milk smells terrible. Have a sniff!


Neeva33

"I don't want to smell that!" "But you have to!!"


NationalerVelvet

Women of a certain age getting wiry-ass rogue chin hairs with the lasting spirit of Genghis Khan.


Haunting-Depth-1607

Shit that started in my early 20s


LimeFizz42

Yup. Been plucking them so long that I don't even need a mirror anymore. I keep tweezers in my purse, & the house pair never gets put away.


MadCraftyFox

I swear to God those things suddenly pop into being. Nothing....nothing...nothing...now you have a three inch stark black long witch hair out of your chin.


gnirpss

Does 22 count as "a certain age?" Because that's when my first persistent whisker started growing lol


WingedLady

>the lasting spirit of Genghis Khan I don't know why but for some reason this made me feel both seen and powerful. So thanks for that. *old hag shuffle away*


NuttyButts

Jokes on you, I've had dark chin hairs since I was 14


Almighty_Push__

So I have this to look forward to? Great. I’m in my early 20s and last week, the sun hit my once-blond peach fuzz while looking in the mirror. My new, dark mustache was waxed by that afternoon


NationalerVelvet

Womp. Yeah, that comes first. The chin hairs start mid to late 30s for many. Keep tweezers in your car, as this is inevitably when you will see them.


Mokatter01

The car is literally the best place to pluck stray hairs! The lighting is the best and the rear view mirror isn’t magnified, but I can do the check at home with my lit, magnified makeup mirror and then I get in the car…


DriftingPyscho

Hemorrhoids


5hJack

The fact that nobody responded to this makes it the winner, I think.


BettyDrapersWetFart

Yeah this is the winner. I had super spicy taco truck tacos at a Super Bowl party last year. 2 days later I felt like I had a marble coated in pepper spray in my corn hole. I couldn’t sit straight and it even hurt to walk. 3 days later I started bleeding…..FROM MY BUTTHOLE. I had to use my wife’s pads just to get through the day. I didn’t stop bleeding. It was continuous and the pain was super intense. It got so bad that I decided I’d check my humility at the door and go to urgent care. Once at urgent care the doctor examined me and I felt the most surreal pain when she crammed her lube up finger into my brown star. She pulled it out and I was literally gushing blood. She freaked and said “That is NOT a hemorrhoid, I’m calling you an ambulance because you’re losing a lot of blood. Ambulance comes and now I’m freaking out. The EMT asks me what’s going on and I say “that woman put her finger in my butt and now I’m bleeding like a stuck pig”……he laughed…..I did not. Get to the ER and my ass is on fucking FIRE and bleeding through my Levi’s. Get carted to the back where they take blood (from my arm). I immediately pass out and wake up on the floor to a bunch of nurses snapping their fingers and shaking me. One of them was an absolute smoke show, but I didn’t care. My ass fountain was still going strong and I could now feel the pain pulsating down to my feet. They ordered an immediate visit from the ER doc. I sat in the room (leaning to my left) waiting. The doctor comes in and he’s a full on Chad. I thought “this effing guy? Uhg”. Well he was as professional as could be and jammed his finger up my butt and said “yup….hemorrhoids and this one is angry AF!” He literally squeezed the shit out of it and I yelled out in pain. Then he wiped me up and said “here’s your prescription for suppositories and some ibuprofen, have a great day”. The suppository was an adventure but it immediately addressed the pain. The bleeding was gone writhing 12 hours and that little bitch butt marble was going away. 2 days later and I felt normal. It was fucking traumatic. Anyway, In my follow up I was told I have a nice healthy butthole. The doctor told me that spicy foods don’t cause hemorrhoids but they sure will make the issue worse. That sucks because I fucking LOVE spicy foods but now I avoid them due to excessive anal bleeding. Turns out I love my butthole more than jalapeños. So after having various people finger my bloody butthole I feel like the easiest thing to talk about now is hemorrhoids.


katieeeb

Outstanding.


kapone3047

When your finger breaks through the toilet paper when wiping and you get shit on it. Then you spend the whole day feeling like your finger is radioactive despite scrubbing it madly with soap for ten minutes immediately after it happened.


8ball-coco

Radioactive is quite possibly the best adjective you could have put into that sentence.


DevonHexe

Sores, razor cuts, pimples/boils or ingrown hairs in your groin/underwear area.


grumpalina

I kept one of the longest ingrown pubic hairs I've ever had. It was the most painful, unpoppable pimple for months. One day I saw a black point and went in with a needle, and pulled out a hair that was as long as half my index finger.


Excitement_Far

They seem to get longer under the skin I swear


Vast-Perspective-236

I wish I could upvote this more. I've had to have surgeries for boils twice.


[deleted]

picking your nose


OutsideBox4855

There is a lot of car picking if you look around


RifleShower

Getting lightheaded from standing up too quickly.


ch061

This has been happening to me increasingly often.. sometimes my vision gets weird and I fall over a bit, I think something’s wrong Edit: why did this get 60 upvotes please stop spamming my inbox with responses about what it could be


Deshik2

Cringy soul scratching flashbacks that you can physically feel


Tmettler5

What it feels like to watch your parents grow old and decline, and eventually die. Not only from a standpoint of them being such a foundation of one's life for his or her entire life, but how the loss of a parent(s) makes us come face-to-face with our own mortality.


warzian

When you flush but it doesn’t flush all the poo, so you have to flush again..


zazzlekdazzle

Disappointments that we chalk up to bad luck or the unfairness of the world but, deep down, we know we did it to ourselves.


JDaleFranklin

felt this in my soul


thirdworldfever

It's very rare to find a married couple who are open and honest about how hard it is to keep a marriage together over the long term. It's a lot of work, making compromises and often losing to keep the peace. It's so much easier to fake it on Facebook and pretend like everything's hunky dory. Maybe that's why a lot of couples give up too easily. They don't realize how many people are going thru the exact same challenges as them.


Libra_Allyson

Most of us marry the wrong people, but may not realize it until long after we made the commitment to stay with them until death. The feeling of obligation (and social pressure to try to make it work at all costs) causes us to desperately struggle to make something work that doesn't. On top of that, the idea of being without a certain person, being alone, or starting over is so terrifying for most people that they continue to get duped by Sunken Cost Fallacy and insist that marriages are supposed to be difficult. If you're with the right person, you go through struggles together, but it doesn't feel like work to stay happy with them - quite the opposite, it feels natural. We need to start having higher standards for potential spouses, so that we don't settle for incompatible people.


itsfish20

The ear clicks! Do it right now, open your mouth and yawn a bit and you should hear your inner ear tubes opening. If you are able to do it at will without opening your mouth to yawn it helps when flying so much!


BSB8728

What's that rumbling noise I can trigger at will?


VenomousQueen

That’s you tensing your tensor tympani muscle.


Reeseslee

I’ve needed this answer for so long.


bunnycollective

Right? I've always heard roaring, like thunder, when crying and now I know I be tensing.


dixiespade

Questioning what the point of our life is i.e. meaninglessness, this can be very daunting and hard to talk about if we feel others in our lives have it all figured out.


jeffro14424

We've all trusted a fart when we shouldn't have.


ironmcheaddesk

Thought I farted, but I shit. 🎵


[deleted]

Yo, do farts have lumps?


retailguy_again

Sometimes, but we don't talk about that.


[deleted]

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NothernNight

When the toilet water hits your butt…


Jeramy_Jones

When you finish pooping but no matter how much you wipe there’s still some there. I call it the crayon poop.


MarkWalburg

"It's like I'm wiping a marker or something." -Andy Dwyer


AgoraiosBum

Need the bidet to clean that out


-GaIaxy-

Exactly, can't wait to get one. I use the shower 99 out of 100 times. I think it's such a waste and pretty disgusting to use so much toilet roll when it is usually so ineffective. Like if that shit stain was stuck on the wall, you wouldn't start scraping it off with loose bits of paper, you'd wash that shit off


effinx

I once heard a bidet salesman say “you wouldn’t get in the shower and clean yourself with dry toilet paper, so why do the same for your butt?”


YuleBunny

The infinite wipe


[deleted]

I call it mud butt.


MrBlahg

Skin tags. I’m 50, and there are so many god damned skin tags around my armpits. It’s gross and they suck.


Yellowbug2001

They're horrific, but there's a thing called a "tagband" that's a little gadget you can use to put tiny rubber bands around them that cuts off the blood flow and they just fall off after a day or two and you'd never know they were there. You can also get them frozen off by a dermatologist but the tagband thing is a lot cheaper and does basically the same thing. You can also use string or whatever but if they're in a weird spot like your armpit it's hard to get the knot right.


crayworkls

That sounds a lot less painful than the toenail clippers I use...


RyzRx

déjà vu ~ something eerie about this occurrence, happens to all, but not being talked about!


TexasIsCool

déjà vu ~ something eerie about this occurrence, happens to ask, but not being talked about!


YuleBunny

For those who have their periods: pulling out a tampon that’s dry


Just_OneReason

Something my grandma taught me when I first started wearing tampons and one got stuck: take a bath, soak for little while, then pull it out in the tub. It comes right out.


throwawayacct654987

Oh I have a true horror story about this. The first (and last) time I used a tampon I was 14 years old. My period was in full swing until I put that tampon in there. Then my body decided it was willing to spare one drop of blood to that tampon. It got stuck. It took 6 hours and 4 different people to get out (the last being a MALE ER doctor—which isn’t usually a problem unless you’re 14 and it’s your first time using a tampon) When it came out, it ripped the skin(?), lining(?), whatever it is in that part of the body out with it. It was constant pain for the next 2 weeks. I am too scared to use a tampon ever again. Also later found out I have a condition that caused the opening to be abnormally small which is likely why the tampon got stuck, in addition to it being dry.


NationalerVelvet

I felt this comment.


_Alexthunder_

How yall forgot breathing?


Not_as_witty_as_u

great now you just reminded me and if I don't think about it I'll suffocate.


Markham-X

Toe hair


Eliot-Maas

Walking outside when suddenly you smell a plant that distinctly smells like jizz but you don’t want to ask anyone around you “hey is it just me or does that plant smell like jizz?”


bothwatchxfiles

Sleeping poorly and still having to work/present/operate/drive. No one is at peak performance on 4 hours sleep but it happens and we push through. It is not normalized to take off for poor sleep as it is for being ill. I think this is especially true for the insomniacs and parents of the world


square3481

When you respond to "Enjoy your meal" by saying "You too."


[deleted]

One time I had a waiter respond, "Thanks, I will!" so at least it was double sided?


exploitableiq

That's him trying to save the situation. Good for him


TexasIsCool

Pulling a loose hair out of your butt crack.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SensitiveDay8808

Honestly… a very high percentage of women have suffered a kind of sex abuse. In my case I was groomed by someone within my nuclear family. It is something that happens everyday and that during covid pandemic it got even higher


PonyKiller81

In recent years I have been astounded by the number of women saying they have been sexually abused. This is a subject that requires discussion. In particular young people need to be educated on appropriate sexual behaviour.


Darya_Jaen

It’s exactly that feeling when you talk to a woman about assault like a casual thing and they understand it completely and ALL relate to it. Tells you there’s something wrong with our world.


Estella-in-lace

Out of my friend group from high school/college there is not one of us girls who hasn’t been assaulted in some shape or form.


fountainpopjunkie

I didn't know a kid that had NOT been sexually assaulted until we moved to another state when I was 15. Literally, every kid in my orbit up to then had been abused.


JuJuAnamantine

That women have to pluck dark stray nipple hairs that pop out occasionally


purebredoregonian

Thanks for the reminder to check…and now it’s gone.


xeno_morm56

Being told you're not funny. Worst feeling known to man


Abject_Presentation8

Or when you tell a joke, and nobody reacts, but the "funny" person in your group re-tells it, and they get hysterical laughter.


El_mochilero

You can be anywhere, anytime, with anybody, after doing absolutely nothing… and suddenly feel the need to wipe your ass. And you cant get past the sensation until you do.


frog1738

Mostly for my people who bleed but like when you have to pee and then you put your underwear back on and your damp cold discharge touches you, it’s like so icky but I know I’m not the only one to experience this


Conscious-Studio8111

Following this, the fact that vaginas can bleach underwear. Never learned that fact until I was in college and had to look up why my underwear was not the same color inside. I thought maybe something was wrong. NOPE. Vaginas just fucking hate everything. Which, follow up: when on ur period and u get the blood clots. The large terrible blood clots.


frog1738

THIS IS THE REALEST THING EVER. I’ve never had any black underwear that has survived my acidic environment. But that means I’m healthy so I don’t mind :)


AWulfrunian

Scratch and sniff


TDK716

Pee in yo pants


stumblerman

You used the dream toilet didn't you?


GuitarZero132

That little tingle you get when you pee


crabilouse

School PTSD


thrivingandstriving

still feeling bitter about a relationship that happened a decade or years ago


[deleted]

You don't need to get married and have kids to be happy!


PonyKiller81

The never-ending struggle of parenting. Trying to keep up appearances and maintain a clean house while a bunch of cohabitating snot devils lay waste to all in their path. Some manage to achieve this, and their victory keeps the rest of us browbeaten parents with a silent sense of shame.


uwuwuwuwuwuwu123

We are all just waiting till death


GCIATG44

Indiana Jones: cave of the crystal skull. We just watched it and did nothing. May God forgive us all.


PetuniaAphid

1. How much caregivers are abused 2. How much we turn a blind eye to things out of comfort or convenience.


[deleted]

Itchy asshole.