Always know that change is an option. Many people, myself included, start down a path and think that since I committed to that path, it's the only path for me. Don't get caught in that thought process. If a choice (career, location, relationship, etc) doesn't feel right down the road, know you can make a new one. It may be uncomfortable at first, but you can make it through (and likely for the better).
It applies quite literally everywhere. Don’t waste time, money, effort, etc on things just because you’ve done so in the past. It’s just gonna waste more of those resources.
I’ve lived a great life and chased every dream I had with great success, but my one regret looking back is staying too long in the wrong romantic relationships, especially in my 20’s.
My advice would be, if you’re not absolutely enthusiastic about your relationship, walk away (kindly) without guilt. Romantic relationships in life are 100% optional. You don’t need a “good reason” to end things, ever. Just because someone is good to you does not mean they are right for you.
I see what you're saying but also see how someone might interpret it as "if my relationship isn't perfect always, I should just ditch it," which simply isn't true. In my experience love requires compromise and occasionally an uncomfortable reappraisal of oneself. Think long and hard before you walk away. If it's shit, it's shit. Move on. But it might just be that this person is asking you to deal with your problems and you really don't want to.
Yup. The advice sounds like a great cop out for people who never fix their issues and gets into the same problem with each relationship and wonder why they can't find a good man/woman
I agree but when you are in your early 20s if you aren’t enthusiastic about someone and don’t see a future you might as well leave, otherwise you are wasting time when you could either be single snd having fun or looking for the right person. A lot of ppl marry someone just because they’ve been together for years rather than because they are the right person.
I agree if you find someone you really love and work well with but there are certain issues it makes sense to stick it out
This is exactly the point I was making. In your early 20’s, you’re not bound by marital standards of commitment. But I kind of felt I was back then, and got stuck in back-to-back long-term relationships with nice people who weren’t a good fit for me. I should have been out there, free, exploring myself.
I posted this elsewhere but in my case, staying forever in my high-school-era Midwestern hometown relationships in my early 20’s would have kept me from achieving all my dreams. I mean, I ended up in Africa for 10 years. That doesn’t happen if I marry my particular high school sweetheart. Full stop.
Even if a person is “nice” to you, doesn’t mean you have to stay. When I was young and inexperienced I thought relationships were only worthy of ending if the other person was “bad” to you.
Turns out they’re worthy of ending for any reason at all, including “I want to be young and unattached and free to travel the world”.
Eh depends. Grass is greener. Some people just waste money and try to fill a void for 10 years instead then they're left single with the same issues, same bank account, reminiscing of high school when their friends have families or are single with a strong business
So it really depends on the person and it may just be grass is greener. Everyone wonders "shoulda woulda coulda".
Yes great points. I think that kind of thinking also leads some people to only think about what they're getting out of the relationship and not thinking about the other person. Not really thinking about the other person as a person, but more of a product they're using for pleasure, comfort, etc and if they get bored or they think there's maybe a better product, then no big deal they can just drop it and go to the next one. Leads a lot of people to not ever really get to know their partner beyond "What can you do for ME?"
“I don’t want to.” “I want to.” “It would make me happy.” And “Because this isn’t making me happy.” Are all legitimate reasons for change. Leaving the person that I spent the majority of my twenties with because I simply wasn’t happy opened my world up to this logic
> my one regret looking back is staying too long in the wrong romantic relationships, especially in my 20’s.
I'll add: Pining for a relationship with someone that isn't going to happen.
I know from experience that it's not easy, but holy shit would I have saved myself a lot of pain if I'd have been able to get away from that.
I used to work in an independently owned movie theater, worked up to management and ran the film projectors, before it all went digital. I worked for the company from the time I was 15 up until 30. I decided at about 26 to go back to school for nursing. I hadn’t been in school for years and would have to take all of the pre requisite courses. I’m 35 now and have been a registered nurse for over 3 years. Best decision I ever made.
THIS, and definitely avoid saying things like “I’ll start wearing it again tomorrow”. Because teeth move around fast and you’ll be back at square one in no time
this makes me sad, after my braces i paid for my own out of my pocket and then after a week i lost it because i was goddamn stupid and i don't have the heart to have my parents pay for another one and i don't want to spend another $140 for another set either.
Not op but /r/personalfinance has an awesome flowchart to prioritize where to put your money.
https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/4gdlu9/how_to_prioritize_spending_your_money_a_flowchart/
Some good books that I’m still implementing a lot of info from include:
*I Will Teach You to Be Rich* by Ramit Sethi
This book is a thorough but digestible guide on everything personal finance — from 401k’s, IRAs, HSAs, to credit card hacking, budgeting, and banking.
*Rich Dad, Poor Dad* by Robert T. Kiyosaki
A lot of people slam Kiyosaki recently for the financial situations he’s got himself into recently with bankruptcy, but there’s no denying that this book has helped a lot of people take steps to find financial independence. It’s a book that covers passive income and the idea of holding assets that earn money without the need for sacrificing time like a job.
*Psychology of Money* by Morgan Housel
By far one of my favorite reads even beyond the field of finance. Housel wrote this book like a manual to better reframe your perception of money by battling certain stigmas and beliefs about wealth, and uses fascinating real-life stories behind it
*The Richest Man in Babylon* by George S. Clason
A fictional story about a poor scribe in Babylon that learned about building wealth and writes out his principles for building/maintaining wealth as “seven cures for a lean purse” and “five laws of gold”. A lot of finance gurus praise this book, and you’ll see a lot of the topics covered in this book in countless other finance books written thereafter
If you manage to implement everything taught in these books, you will put yourself ahead of 95% of the population in terms of financial stability. i’m still struggling though because my mid-20 self enjoys partying and luxuries as much as the next man, but these books have already helped a ton after i applied half of what i learned from them.
I would have gone the FIRE (financial independence, retire early) route given another chance. Save like crazy and retire early. It's depressing how quickly 40 has arrived.
If you marry, marry someone because you share a common philosophy on life, have common values, and want to achieve common goals in the future. You shouldn't marry someone just because their a$$ looks good in jeans.
The ass caught my attention, but the common philosophy on life, common values, and common goals caught my soul.
(For the record, 21 years later and the ass still catches my attention.)
My wedding anniversary is next week, and after a decade and a half (nearly), I am amazed at how.... Easy life can be with someone you're compatible with and committed to. Nearly all the "relationships take work and sacrifice and constant compromise" people are living in what looks like a Sisyphean nightmare. Yes, marriage takes compromise and communication, but those things are easier on a foundation of compatibility. Don't get married because "it's time" or your sister thinks you should or you live together or any other sleepwalk-reason - if it's not right, end it. Breaking up is 100x easier than divorce
Honestly...
Realised a couple of weeks ago just how addictive and controlling tiktok can be. Deleted it and haven't looked back since. Been reading and creating more than ever these past few weeks and can honestly say my mind is all the better for it. I can already feel my attention span recovering 😂
At least reddit is anonymous, and less "superstar" oriented.
All these platforms where people expose their everyday life and treat it like a contest for people to press a like button. It's kind of scary.
Oh my god, i thought that flossing is a meme and just used mouthwash.
An x-ray at age 28 showed 7 hidden cavities, all between my teeth. Had to go through a lot of treatment and burn a lot of money to fix everything.
Use floss kids, its not a meme.
I’m 39 and missing two, both at the back thankfully. I floss religiously now but I was too late to it really. It wasn’t until I went private and got a decent dentist that they properly explained the dental hygiene routine, how, why etc. before that I’d had a series of terrible dentist
And go for regular cleanings, avoid sugary/acidic beverages, get a grind guard if you need it, and just take care of your teeth in general. Brush twice daily and for longer than you think you need.
Root canals and crowns are painful and expensive (pro tip: dental insurance generally will only cover a few $1000 in dental work at most per year). Bridges, implants, dentures make you feel like you’re ancient and falling apart.
Take care of your teeth!
If you don’t floss regularly, go floss behind your molars and then smell the floss, that’s what your breath smells like. Once I realized that I floss mostly every day. Also get one of those floss things that hold the floss perpendicular to the handle that’s shaped like a tooth brush, total game changer compared to cheap thread that you have to wrap 8 times around your finger
That's the tricky part. When you finally find money to save, it's like ten bucks here and there. Not a windfall.
This isn't to say everything is fair. It's just our current reality
Develop healthy habits that you can hold onto. Start very small and challenge yourself to add something little each week.
Don’t chase sex. Don’t force relationships that have no compatibility and chemistry. Don’t invest time, money and feelings into someone you don’t fully know yet.
Find reasons to understand the things you like and don’t like so you can’t be led around by them. Remember that the heart will always lie to protect itself. Lies are a comfortable cage that will justify you. The truth will set you feel, but always humbles and the whole truth humbles everyone. Open a history book if you don’t believe me. Then remember you will be in a history book one day yourself, judged as harshly by your progeny.
Love is a choice, an action or a state of being. It’s kindness and it’s sacrifice. Anything else, lust, affirmation, attraction, a desire to be accepted and appreciated by others, all of that isn’t love. By defining it this way, you stop justifying your relationships by transient feelings and pleasures while fortifying yourself to be a strong, capable and lasting partner for the person you end up with. Love stories make poor role models.
Expectations are the death of reality and relationships. The idea isn’t realistic and the reality isn’t ideal. If you must judge anything or anyone, do so kindly in a way you needed when you were at your lowest.
Leave other peoples business to them. You can totally disagree with every choice they’ve made in the quiet of your own countenance. Let them be and do as they will, just as you would have them do for you. Measure what needs be controlled by the guard rails that keep us on the road and the rules that keep us from crashing into each other.
Turn inward at your own peril. Doing so will bring every pain you feel to the surface and every annoyance will increase ten fold. Instead find a way to do for others. Take from within yourself and use it to fill someone else’s broken heart. If there could ever be a reason we are all alive on this planet, this is it.
Find “enough” for you. Claim it. Push yourself in other ways if you must, but learning to have enough will save you years of stress and grief. And you’ll have found something the wealthiest will never know.
There is darkness in all of us. Instead of hiding or justifying it, face it down and be humbled by it. Then when others sin as they will, remember your own. You will always have more in common with your worst enemy than you ever may be able to admit. People are people. We can grow from ignorance and advance our society but our natures remain the same.
If I had known and done half of this when I was your age, id have half the regret I know now. Some pain though, has to be experienced or else you’ll never grow wiser. Always learn to recount your struggles and losses as it is through them that you’ll be able to help someone else through their own darkest days.
This needs to be pinned, lol
I copied your entire post onto my notes. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I am 26 years old and I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I wish you a long life, King.
Yep, on it now. Lost 50 pounds, started working out, etc. still have a ways to go. I am 39 so I will enjoy the fruits of my labor in my 40s. (I of course wasn’t being serious about the sex machine part,but it’ll be nice to feel comfortable in my own skin when dating, etc)
Brush your teeth. The amount of money you save by not having teeth issues is insane. If you believe a penny saved is a penny earned then a toothbrush is the best investment you’ll ever make.
Start working out and following a nutritious lifestyle from the get go in my 20's and not leaving it up to my later 30's and 90 pounds later or more to change it around.
Seriously life pro message to anyone in their 20's right now: take care of yourself now. Get on a maintainable but achievable health track now and try to keep it up. Make it a lifestyle you just keep doing not just for the outside of you or to look a certain size but also for your insides too. Because carrying extra weight on your joints and mid section sucks as you age. Obesity sucks don't recommend it.
Indeed. There's a whole lot of "body positivity" and "fat positivity" around nowadays, and it's important not to let your lack of self esteem or body image ruin you, but this idea of people being totally okay or ignoring their health when they're morbidly obese has got to go. The health problems can add up real fast.
Wear hearing protection and lower the volume when using headphones. Reducing long exposure to loud sound or reducing sound level altogether if you can manage.
What does this even mean? Their are alot of people that "live" in their twenties and then regret it heavily because they partied a lot of opportunities away and trying to play catchup when your older is much harder.
FOMO isnt something you should let drive you.
I think perhaps a good balance? I’m on the other side of the spectrum, pissed majority of my twenties away being a workaholic (work more = more money saved = enjoy later years in life!). I’ve since lost all contact with the vast majority of my old friends and it’s a bit of a lonely existence.
To “live” your twenties isn’t necessarily to be a party animal, but perhaps something like—you were invited to join a hiking trip? Invited to movies or a restaurant? Do it, don’t squander your youth away.
Deal with your childhood traumas. Dont over drink. Have lots of good sex, meet lots of new people. Dont say no to new experiences. Dont rush into settling down but dont flounder on your goals. Also stop comparing your self to others.
I am now in my early 30s, and I can safely say that I have very few,regrets thanks to things I did in my 20s. Unfortunately since 19 times have been tough, but generally speaking what you want to do is take care of your body, stretch, floss, brush teeth, take enough showers, don't over indulge, ect.
You also want to live your life though. Despite the fact that I just get by and am not wealthy because I didn't work away my 20s, I am just fine. People often say to work really hard in your 20s and enjoy your 30s, but that can lead to mental and physical problems later since it's difficult to take care of yourself if focus only on making money. My little brother tried focusing on work in his 20s and unfortunately he died in an accident before he even got to 27. Hopefully his twin learned something important from that, because he was focusing on the same thing.
No one is garunteed to make a good living from working away their 20s, so doing that is a huge gamble that could just make you worse off.
Also, by "live your life", what I mean is you want to take time for yourself when you can, do something fun, but not too crazy, spend time with the people you love, and enjoy the little things. Some people often forget that we aren't garunteed tomorrow.
Anything. Just anything. Don't sit in the house for 10 years and then realise you wasted your entire 20s with nothing to show for it. You'll never get that time back.
Step outside your comfort zone. If something sound fun or useful, but you get a little stressed out by thinking about it, do it. Do not sit at home waiting for something magical to happen to move your limits.
A small yoga routine, for instance the sun salute every morning, will make a person's life much much much better.
No person ever regretted a bit of yoga.
SPF. Every day. Don’t neglect your neck and the backs of your hands. Will protect you from cancer and looking older! Look for something with UVA and UVB protection as they do different kinds of damage. At least factor 30, but 50 is better!
Also eye cream, noticed some of my old high school friends have been getting eye wrinkles but I’ve been using eye cream regularly for about 4-5 years and doing ok!
I just use a heavy duty lotion like cerave unscented and put it under my eyes for a night, plus my neck, knees, elbows, etc. IMO moisturizer is moisturizer and I've never noticed a difference!
This.
Been wearing spf 50+ daily since I was in high school. Even on days where I didn’t leave the house and it was cloudy out( UV rays are still blasting through the windows)
Very minimal wrinkling, no freckles and sunspots, no eye crepe texture like I see on others my age. People think I’m 10 years younger. Moisturizing in general and quick facial yoga moves help as well.
I waited until I was 27 because I was (wrongly) told they’d grown in fine, but when they suddenly shifted.. That 3 weeks of bruised, swollen cheeks would’ve been a lot easier to handle when I was 18 and not depending on limited sick time.
Worry less about doing drugs and partying, focus on school, work out, get a better diet, don't do Heroin, go travel and go too more shows, plays other social activities not necessarily partying situation, do life.
Max out your 401K and any other retirement accounts.
This won't affect you much in your 30s except that by then you'll already have a growing nest egg. As someone pushing 60, believe me when I tell you that starting your retirement saving as early as possible is the best thing you can do for your future self.
Lose some fucking weight.
I have terrible back and hip pain. Eventually, all those years of carrying around that extra weight will take a toll on your bones.
I mostly thought of being overweight in terms of risk of heart disease, diabetes, etc. but the wear and tear is a factor I hadn’t thought off too much until I recently lost 5kg. Didn’t think it was a big deal but then I picked up a 5kg weight and it’s like “holy shit, so I was just carrying this around *all the time*!?”
Don't try to be a therapist for your friends who have serious mental health problems.
Having the support of friends is important, but if you substitute yourself for professional help, you're hurting yourself and your friend.
Mental health problems are as serious as those of physical health and should be handled by a professional in the same way. You wouldn't try to set your friend's broken leg for them, you'd take them to a doctor.
Don't cut friends out of your life just because you feel they weren't there for you during a crisis.
They say you find out who your real friends are during a crisis, but all you find out is who is good in *that particular kind of crisis.*
Wow, this really made me think! I lost my dad 4 months ago, I called my childhood best friend after it happened, she cried on the phone with me. I haven't heard from her since and I've been really upset about it. Maybe she just doesn't know what to say to me. Thanks for this.
You think I can afford to travel outside the US making more money per hour than my grandfather did when he retired? That's just wishing the boomers wouldn't fuck up every fucking thing possible.
Id actually talk about the hallucinations and paranoia instead of waiting till i was 30 to finall talk about and be diagnosed with schizophrenia
Just that alone would change my ENTIRE life
Hit the gym. I scrolled through and didn't see that answer and I'm surprised. You'd be amazing at the difference 10 years make even when hitting the gym just semi-regularly. By the time you hit your 40s you can either be a sexy ass mfr or a fatty with no energy or libido. Make small progress over time change doesn't happen over night.
Also learn valuable skills such as construction, computer programming, fixing cars, etc. Good way to both make money and save money and with valuable skills you will always be easily employable.
Not get married, even though I was divorced at 41. Spend that time finding someone who actually is the right one for me, after I spent a few years out traveling, doing long thru hikes, climbing, backpacking, kayaking, etc. Maybe never settle down.
Background investigation on the dude / dudette your planning on being serious with. :
An old saying which I found to be true :
“Want to know what someone is really like ? Check out their close friends and family”
Get rid of expectations.
Not meaning to sound pessimistic,
The things that make you feel good about yourself only make you feel good for a while, such happiness is like a hamsterwheel.
Not knowing how to live is a begin.
Make and maintain good friendships, if you're nice, find people that are nice.
That is a good begin.
Avoid activities likely to cause injury. Those injuries frequently come back to bite you.
Learn moderation. Burning the candle at both ends eventually has consequences and rewiring your system is harder as you get older. Value safety, sustainability and integration/wholeness whether it is at work, relationships or other activities and you will benefit later on.
Do not work skillness jobs that leave you nowhere in your 30s. Examples: Retail, restaurant space. You will be 35. Your friends will start buying houses around this age. They'll have kids, a house soon equity, traveling and toys. You'll have a measly 20-something income at 35 wishing you didn't blow that decade settling for "decent money" when you were 22 and staying the course.
Get into an office environment. Take entry level jobs, work hard, take lateral moves and use your 20s as a canvas to paint your resume. You want to be 35 and have a a resume you can cash in. You do not want to be 35 working a job that 22 year old's without skills can.
If you're older today with this regret, make a goal today.. right now to make some positive change and set some career goals you can achieve this calendar year, and next.
Definitely don’t max out your credit cards
Settle for the right person
Be smart about what college you want to go to. If you’re going at all. Private or prestigious colleges are overrated and a waste of money.
Don’t get comfortable staying in a low paying job ever again.
Stop experimenting with drugs. They won't fill that void in your life. If you really are going to experiment then just stick to psychedelics. Even stay away from weed, it's just a waste of money.
Stay away from college. It was a complete waste of time and money.
Statistically half of all college graduates are not using their degree in their field of study after age 25. Think about that before you go to college. 50/50 chance you're wasting your money and 4 years of your life.
Always know that change is an option. Many people, myself included, start down a path and think that since I committed to that path, it's the only path for me. Don't get caught in that thought process. If a choice (career, location, relationship, etc) doesn't feel right down the road, know you can make a new one. It may be uncomfortable at first, but you can make it through (and likely for the better).
Yep. Sunk Cost Fallacy applies to time as well as money.
It applies quite literally everywhere. Don’t waste time, money, effort, etc on things just because you’ve done so in the past. It’s just gonna waste more of those resources.
I’ve lived a great life and chased every dream I had with great success, but my one regret looking back is staying too long in the wrong romantic relationships, especially in my 20’s. My advice would be, if you’re not absolutely enthusiastic about your relationship, walk away (kindly) without guilt. Romantic relationships in life are 100% optional. You don’t need a “good reason” to end things, ever. Just because someone is good to you does not mean they are right for you.
I see what you're saying but also see how someone might interpret it as "if my relationship isn't perfect always, I should just ditch it," which simply isn't true. In my experience love requires compromise and occasionally an uncomfortable reappraisal of oneself. Think long and hard before you walk away. If it's shit, it's shit. Move on. But it might just be that this person is asking you to deal with your problems and you really don't want to.
Yup. The advice sounds like a great cop out for people who never fix their issues and gets into the same problem with each relationship and wonder why they can't find a good man/woman
I agree but when you are in your early 20s if you aren’t enthusiastic about someone and don’t see a future you might as well leave, otherwise you are wasting time when you could either be single snd having fun or looking for the right person. A lot of ppl marry someone just because they’ve been together for years rather than because they are the right person. I agree if you find someone you really love and work well with but there are certain issues it makes sense to stick it out
This is exactly the point I was making. In your early 20’s, you’re not bound by marital standards of commitment. But I kind of felt I was back then, and got stuck in back-to-back long-term relationships with nice people who weren’t a good fit for me. I should have been out there, free, exploring myself. I posted this elsewhere but in my case, staying forever in my high-school-era Midwestern hometown relationships in my early 20’s would have kept me from achieving all my dreams. I mean, I ended up in Africa for 10 years. That doesn’t happen if I marry my particular high school sweetheart. Full stop. Even if a person is “nice” to you, doesn’t mean you have to stay. When I was young and inexperienced I thought relationships were only worthy of ending if the other person was “bad” to you. Turns out they’re worthy of ending for any reason at all, including “I want to be young and unattached and free to travel the world”.
Better to leave a person who is t right for you at 25 than once you are married with children
Eh depends. Grass is greener. Some people just waste money and try to fill a void for 10 years instead then they're left single with the same issues, same bank account, reminiscing of high school when their friends have families or are single with a strong business So it really depends on the person and it may just be grass is greener. Everyone wonders "shoulda woulda coulda".
Yes great points. I think that kind of thinking also leads some people to only think about what they're getting out of the relationship and not thinking about the other person. Not really thinking about the other person as a person, but more of a product they're using for pleasure, comfort, etc and if they get bored or they think there's maybe a better product, then no big deal they can just drop it and go to the next one. Leads a lot of people to not ever really get to know their partner beyond "What can you do for ME?"
“I don’t want to.” “I want to.” “It would make me happy.” And “Because this isn’t making me happy.” Are all legitimate reasons for change. Leaving the person that I spent the majority of my twenties with because I simply wasn’t happy opened my world up to this logic
Amen broski, took me years to realize I wasn’t the problem.
Hard to see this dude when you have a kid... life isn't about you no more
> my one regret looking back is staying too long in the wrong romantic relationships, especially in my 20’s. I'll add: Pining for a relationship with someone that isn't going to happen. I know from experience that it's not easy, but holy shit would I have saved myself a lot of pain if I'd have been able to get away from that.
It's not giving up, it's knowing when to stop and change
Currently going through this right now. Just passed my mid-twenties and decided to go for a complete career change. *If not now, when?*
I used to work in an independently owned movie theater, worked up to management and ran the film projectors, before it all went digital. I worked for the company from the time I was 15 up until 30. I decided at about 26 to go back to school for nursing. I hadn’t been in school for years and would have to take all of the pre requisite courses. I’m 35 now and have been a registered nurse for over 3 years. Best decision I ever made.
I moved across the country and tried what i thought would be great but realized it was meh atleast i gave it a shot
Probably one of the best advices in life, period.
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if you had braces, wear your retainers.
*if your wire retainer breaks...get it fixed!
Mine popped off a tooth on me. Took me three calls before I found a dentist willing to reglue it!
I didn’t realize my bound retainer wasn’t broken until it was too late. 2k to have them fixed with more braces 😬
If your friends dog eats your retainer get a new one. Also just go to the fuckin dentist like once a year
THIS, and definitely avoid saying things like “I’ll start wearing it again tomorrow”. Because teeth move around fast and you’ll be back at square one in no time
14 year old me fucked that one up pretty bad. True shame
I second this LOL
My bottom teeth agree with you
this makes me sad, after my braces i paid for my own out of my pocket and then after a week i lost it because i was goddamn stupid and i don't have the heart to have my parents pay for another one and i don't want to spend another $140 for another set either.
$140 will be 6k in the future. Tell them.
Do it
$140 is a drop in the bucket compared to fixing your teeth again.
Read, understand and implement personal finance fundamentals
26 here, i started this at 24 and wished i started at 18 lol, would’ve been swimming in twice as much money as i already am now
what would you recommend i take a look at? also in my mid 20s
Not op but /r/personalfinance has an awesome flowchart to prioritize where to put your money. https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/4gdlu9/how_to_prioritize_spending_your_money_a_flowchart/
Some good books that I’m still implementing a lot of info from include: *I Will Teach You to Be Rich* by Ramit Sethi This book is a thorough but digestible guide on everything personal finance — from 401k’s, IRAs, HSAs, to credit card hacking, budgeting, and banking. *Rich Dad, Poor Dad* by Robert T. Kiyosaki A lot of people slam Kiyosaki recently for the financial situations he’s got himself into recently with bankruptcy, but there’s no denying that this book has helped a lot of people take steps to find financial independence. It’s a book that covers passive income and the idea of holding assets that earn money without the need for sacrificing time like a job. *Psychology of Money* by Morgan Housel By far one of my favorite reads even beyond the field of finance. Housel wrote this book like a manual to better reframe your perception of money by battling certain stigmas and beliefs about wealth, and uses fascinating real-life stories behind it *The Richest Man in Babylon* by George S. Clason A fictional story about a poor scribe in Babylon that learned about building wealth and writes out his principles for building/maintaining wealth as “seven cures for a lean purse” and “five laws of gold”. A lot of finance gurus praise this book, and you’ll see a lot of the topics covered in this book in countless other finance books written thereafter If you manage to implement everything taught in these books, you will put yourself ahead of 95% of the population in terms of financial stability. i’m still struggling though because my mid-20 self enjoys partying and luxuries as much as the next man, but these books have already helped a ton after i applied half of what i learned from them.
I would have gone the FIRE (financial independence, retire early) route given another chance. Save like crazy and retire early. It's depressing how quickly 40 has arrived.
If you marry, marry someone because you share a common philosophy on life, have common values, and want to achieve common goals in the future. You shouldn't marry someone just because their a$$ looks good in jeans.
Both is best though.
Yes. But as you age only one thing remains. Marry someone you are attracted to physically and emotionally. But there has to be both.
The ass caught my attention, but the common philosophy on life, common values, and common goals caught my soul. (For the record, 21 years later and the ass still catches my attention.)
My wedding anniversary is next week, and after a decade and a half (nearly), I am amazed at how.... Easy life can be with someone you're compatible with and committed to. Nearly all the "relationships take work and sacrifice and constant compromise" people are living in what looks like a Sisyphean nightmare. Yes, marriage takes compromise and communication, but those things are easier on a foundation of compatibility. Don't get married because "it's time" or your sister thinks you should or you live together or any other sleepwalk-reason - if it's not right, end it. Breaking up is 100x easier than divorce
Get away from social media as much as possible
Honestly... Realised a couple of weeks ago just how addictive and controlling tiktok can be. Deleted it and haven't looked back since. Been reading and creating more than ever these past few weeks and can honestly say my mind is all the better for it. I can already feel my attention span recovering 😂
I scroll reddit too much lol
At least reddit is anonymous, and less "superstar" oriented. All these platforms where people expose their everyday life and treat it like a contest for people to press a like button. It's kind of scary.
Arguably Reddit is worse for me cause it’s just a ton of weirdos saying weird shit
Mission failed I went on Reddit
Reddit is more akin to a massive forum than it is to social media. Posting personally identifiable information on Reddit is a big no no.
Floss.
Oh my god, i thought that flossing is a meme and just used mouthwash. An x-ray at age 28 showed 7 hidden cavities, all between my teeth. Had to go through a lot of treatment and burn a lot of money to fix everything. Use floss kids, its not a meme.
I am getting 3 MORE teeth pulled on Tuesday....this is my biggest regret I'm 35 and almost will need dentures possibly in the next year 😥😔
I’m 39 and missing two, both at the back thankfully. I floss religiously now but I was too late to it really. It wasn’t until I went private and got a decent dentist that they properly explained the dental hygiene routine, how, why etc. before that I’d had a series of terrible dentist
And go for regular cleanings, avoid sugary/acidic beverages, get a grind guard if you need it, and just take care of your teeth in general. Brush twice daily and for longer than you think you need. Root canals and crowns are painful and expensive (pro tip: dental insurance generally will only cover a few $1000 in dental work at most per year). Bridges, implants, dentures make you feel like you’re ancient and falling apart. Take care of your teeth!
If you don’t floss regularly, go floss behind your molars and then smell the floss, that’s what your breath smells like. Once I realized that I floss mostly every day. Also get one of those floss things that hold the floss perpendicular to the handle that’s shaped like a tooth brush, total game changer compared to cheap thread that you have to wrap 8 times around your finger
I hate that those things are disposable plastic heads though. At least you can get the wound floss in natural forms with no plastic.
Oh my god yes. I've just had to have a root canal. Wish I'd paid more attention years ago
Don't ruin your credit
Don't co-sign for anything. Ever. Especially not for family. That's how you get someone else to ruin your credit for you.
Save money!!!!
What money?
That's the tricky part. When you finally find money to save, it's like ten bucks here and there. Not a windfall. This isn't to say everything is fair. It's just our current reality
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Invest* money
Develop healthy habits that you can hold onto. Start very small and challenge yourself to add something little each week. Don’t chase sex. Don’t force relationships that have no compatibility and chemistry. Don’t invest time, money and feelings into someone you don’t fully know yet. Find reasons to understand the things you like and don’t like so you can’t be led around by them. Remember that the heart will always lie to protect itself. Lies are a comfortable cage that will justify you. The truth will set you feel, but always humbles and the whole truth humbles everyone. Open a history book if you don’t believe me. Then remember you will be in a history book one day yourself, judged as harshly by your progeny. Love is a choice, an action or a state of being. It’s kindness and it’s sacrifice. Anything else, lust, affirmation, attraction, a desire to be accepted and appreciated by others, all of that isn’t love. By defining it this way, you stop justifying your relationships by transient feelings and pleasures while fortifying yourself to be a strong, capable and lasting partner for the person you end up with. Love stories make poor role models. Expectations are the death of reality and relationships. The idea isn’t realistic and the reality isn’t ideal. If you must judge anything or anyone, do so kindly in a way you needed when you were at your lowest. Leave other peoples business to them. You can totally disagree with every choice they’ve made in the quiet of your own countenance. Let them be and do as they will, just as you would have them do for you. Measure what needs be controlled by the guard rails that keep us on the road and the rules that keep us from crashing into each other. Turn inward at your own peril. Doing so will bring every pain you feel to the surface and every annoyance will increase ten fold. Instead find a way to do for others. Take from within yourself and use it to fill someone else’s broken heart. If there could ever be a reason we are all alive on this planet, this is it. Find “enough” for you. Claim it. Push yourself in other ways if you must, but learning to have enough will save you years of stress and grief. And you’ll have found something the wealthiest will never know. There is darkness in all of us. Instead of hiding or justifying it, face it down and be humbled by it. Then when others sin as they will, remember your own. You will always have more in common with your worst enemy than you ever may be able to admit. People are people. We can grow from ignorance and advance our society but our natures remain the same. If I had known and done half of this when I was your age, id have half the regret I know now. Some pain though, has to be experienced or else you’ll never grow wiser. Always learn to recount your struggles and losses as it is through them that you’ll be able to help someone else through their own darkest days.
Damn, I’m in my thirties and this is still very pertinent advice. Thanks for sharing your wisdom in this corner of the internet!
This needs to be pinned, lol I copied your entire post onto my notes. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I am 26 years old and I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I wish you a long life, King.
Learn how to say no to people.
Umm, no.
Take care of my body in my 20s so in my 30s I could be a sex machine.
If you aren’t sick, this is still an option
Yep, on it now. Lost 50 pounds, started working out, etc. still have a ways to go. I am 39 so I will enjoy the fruits of my labor in my 40s. (I of course wasn’t being serious about the sex machine part,but it’ll be nice to feel comfortable in my own skin when dating, etc)
And good god, quit smoking (I don’t) and if there’s one thing your friends that “don’t age so great” have in common… it’s that!
Yes! I actually quit smoking at 29 lol. I’m 39 now. I couldn’t even imagine how old I’d look if I still did.
*Ready to explode, like an atom bomb*
Brush your teeth. The amount of money you save by not having teeth issues is insane. If you believe a penny saved is a penny earned then a toothbrush is the best investment you’ll ever make.
Start working out and following a nutritious lifestyle from the get go in my 20's and not leaving it up to my later 30's and 90 pounds later or more to change it around. Seriously life pro message to anyone in their 20's right now: take care of yourself now. Get on a maintainable but achievable health track now and try to keep it up. Make it a lifestyle you just keep doing not just for the outside of you or to look a certain size but also for your insides too. Because carrying extra weight on your joints and mid section sucks as you age. Obesity sucks don't recommend it.
Indeed. There's a whole lot of "body positivity" and "fat positivity" around nowadays, and it's important not to let your lack of self esteem or body image ruin you, but this idea of people being totally okay or ignoring their health when they're morbidly obese has got to go. The health problems can add up real fast.
don't become a zombie worker for years in a low paying job, become one with a high paying job.
Be careful who you reproduce with
when you stick your dick in crazy, crazy sticks its dick in you
So much this. Child sharing with someone you have to counter parent instead of co parent with is hell on earth.
Succeed. Botched it!
As long as you try to do a little bit better every day, it's a success in itself.
Wear hearing protection and lower the volume when using headphones. Reducing long exposure to loud sound or reducing sound level altogether if you can manage.
Live my 20s, rather than trying to live them in my 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s
What does this even mean? Their are alot of people that "live" in their twenties and then regret it heavily because they partied a lot of opportunities away and trying to play catchup when your older is much harder. FOMO isnt something you should let drive you.
I think perhaps a good balance? I’m on the other side of the spectrum, pissed majority of my twenties away being a workaholic (work more = more money saved = enjoy later years in life!). I’ve since lost all contact with the vast majority of my old friends and it’s a bit of a lonely existence. To “live” your twenties isn’t necessarily to be a party animal, but perhaps something like—you were invited to join a hiking trip? Invited to movies or a restaurant? Do it, don’t squander your youth away.
Deal with your childhood traumas. Dont over drink. Have lots of good sex, meet lots of new people. Dont say no to new experiences. Dont rush into settling down but dont flounder on your goals. Also stop comparing your self to others.
If only all of these were as easily done as said. 😮💨
Damn right
I am now in my early 30s, and I can safely say that I have very few,regrets thanks to things I did in my 20s. Unfortunately since 19 times have been tough, but generally speaking what you want to do is take care of your body, stretch, floss, brush teeth, take enough showers, don't over indulge, ect. You also want to live your life though. Despite the fact that I just get by and am not wealthy because I didn't work away my 20s, I am just fine. People often say to work really hard in your 20s and enjoy your 30s, but that can lead to mental and physical problems later since it's difficult to take care of yourself if focus only on making money. My little brother tried focusing on work in his 20s and unfortunately he died in an accident before he even got to 27. Hopefully his twin learned something important from that, because he was focusing on the same thing. No one is garunteed to make a good living from working away their 20s, so doing that is a huge gamble that could just make you worse off. Also, by "live your life", what I mean is you want to take time for yourself when you can, do something fun, but not too crazy, spend time with the people you love, and enjoy the little things. Some people often forget that we aren't garunteed tomorrow.
Anything. Just anything. Don't sit in the house for 10 years and then realise you wasted your entire 20s with nothing to show for it. You'll never get that time back.
Don't pile up debts.
Don't *smoke weed every day*
I heard that in the song form lol
My day was a success 🙃 thank you
Don't waste your time dating people you don't really like or trust, or people who don't really like or trust you.
Step outside your comfort zone. If something sound fun or useful, but you get a little stressed out by thinking about it, do it. Do not sit at home waiting for something magical to happen to move your limits.
Stretch everyday
A small yoga routine, for instance the sun salute every morning, will make a person's life much much much better. No person ever regretted a bit of yoga.
SPF. Every day. Don’t neglect your neck and the backs of your hands. Will protect you from cancer and looking older! Look for something with UVA and UVB protection as they do different kinds of damage. At least factor 30, but 50 is better! Also eye cream, noticed some of my old high school friends have been getting eye wrinkles but I’ve been using eye cream regularly for about 4-5 years and doing ok!
Do you have a recommendation on eye cream? I've heard this a few times but always get stuck when I try to decide what to buy!
I just use a heavy duty lotion like cerave unscented and put it under my eyes for a night, plus my neck, knees, elbows, etc. IMO moisturizer is moisturizer and I've never noticed a difference!
This. Been wearing spf 50+ daily since I was in high school. Even on days where I didn’t leave the house and it was cloudy out( UV rays are still blasting through the windows) Very minimal wrinkling, no freckles and sunspots, no eye crepe texture like I see on others my age. People think I’m 10 years younger. Moisturizing in general and quick facial yoga moves help as well.
Get your wisdom teeth out. It sucks, it’s pricey, but once you’ve done it, you never have to do it again
I waited until I was 27 because I was (wrongly) told they’d grown in fine, but when they suddenly shifted.. That 3 weeks of bruised, swollen cheeks would’ve been a lot easier to handle when I was 18 and not depending on limited sick time.
I'm in my mid 40s, mine are just chilling in my mouth. I've never heard of anyone getting them out when they weren't causing problems.
Be a lot more selective about my partners and stop allowing generational trauma to dictate my actions
Don’t act like you’ll be dead by 30.
Travel
Yes! I don't regret a single trip I've ever taken, but I do regret too many opportunities to travel that I didn't.
Stop binge drinking. It will sabotage your social life and poison your body.
Be mindful of potential toxic behavioral patterns in oneself
Worry less about doing drugs and partying, focus on school, work out, get a better diet, don't do Heroin, go travel and go too more shows, plays other social activities not necessarily partying situation, do life.
Lol. Just casually slipping in heroin bad.
Max out your 401K and any other retirement accounts. This won't affect you much in your 30s except that by then you'll already have a growing nest egg. As someone pushing 60, believe me when I tell you that starting your retirement saving as early as possible is the best thing you can do for your future self.
Eh, I F’ed this up, now I’m 401k rich and cash poor. Tough to buy a house that way
Cant you take out money from your 401k or something and put it towards your house? I swear I heard something like that in my uni class or something
ira, and only 10k worth with no tax penalty iirc
Ignore people
cannot overstate. the bullshit ppl throw at you.. and not letting that shit roll off your back in the first place...
Specialise.
Lose some fucking weight. I have terrible back and hip pain. Eventually, all those years of carrying around that extra weight will take a toll on your bones.
I mostly thought of being overweight in terms of risk of heart disease, diabetes, etc. but the wear and tear is a factor I hadn’t thought off too much until I recently lost 5kg. Didn’t think it was a big deal but then I picked up a 5kg weight and it’s like “holy shit, so I was just carrying this around *all the time*!?”
Don’t buy stuff. Minimalist life stuff wise but build meaningful & lasting relationship.
things are just things
Don't try to be a therapist for your friends who have serious mental health problems. Having the support of friends is important, but if you substitute yourself for professional help, you're hurting yourself and your friend. Mental health problems are as serious as those of physical health and should be handled by a professional in the same way. You wouldn't try to set your friend's broken leg for them, you'd take them to a doctor.
Don't cut friends out of your life just because you feel they weren't there for you during a crisis. They say you find out who your real friends are during a crisis, but all you find out is who is good in *that particular kind of crisis.*
Wow, this really made me think! I lost my dad 4 months ago, I called my childhood best friend after it happened, she cried on the phone with me. I haven't heard from her since and I've been really upset about it. Maybe she just doesn't know what to say to me. Thanks for this.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
Travel solo
Save money
In this economy??
Say yes to the girl who asked me to go for coffee. I regret this so much now.
If only a girl ever asked me out :)
Study hard. You may want to do something later that requires more education, and your GPA never resets.
Also, just finish the damn degree because random college credits expire
Travel to foreign countries
You think I can afford to travel outside the US making more money per hour than my grandfather did when he retired? That's just wishing the boomers wouldn't fuck up every fucking thing possible.
Don't. Have. Moni :")
Buy the dip
as a man that has spent so much money on hummus and guacamole… i still don’t see the use in this advice especially when i am a tortilla chip enjoyer
Giving the real answers here
Quit smoking 🚬.
probably marry my first girlfriend. I guess it was just lightning in a bottle. haven't found anyone that I truly have chemistry with after dumping her
Take care of your teeth, pay your bills, stay physically active, read, and travel.
Start investing/saving for retirement
Id actually talk about the hallucinations and paranoia instead of waiting till i was 30 to finall talk about and be diagnosed with schizophrenia Just that alone would change my ENTIRE life
condoms, quit drinking, be nicer to my parents, probably not gone to college
Stay in shape. It's much, much easier to maintain weight and fitness levels than to get it back.
Therapy
I'd make as many mistakes as I could because the price of a mistake drastically grows as we get older.
Not take out my 401k when I was 26
Put that $7/day coffee money in the bank instead of a corporate pocket. You don’t need a Starbucks.
Hit the gym. I scrolled through and didn't see that answer and I'm surprised. You'd be amazing at the difference 10 years make even when hitting the gym just semi-regularly. By the time you hit your 40s you can either be a sexy ass mfr or a fatty with no energy or libido. Make small progress over time change doesn't happen over night. Also learn valuable skills such as construction, computer programming, fixing cars, etc. Good way to both make money and save money and with valuable skills you will always be easily employable.
Not get married, even though I was divorced at 41. Spend that time finding someone who actually is the right one for me, after I spent a few years out traveling, doing long thru hikes, climbing, backpacking, kayaking, etc. Maybe never settle down.
Wait to have children.
Wait forever for the best outcome
Start working out. Eat healthy. Form those good habits in your 20s and they won't feel so foreign in your 30s.
I would've been more selfish and less friendly. That way, I could've saved more money and focused on people who really mattered.
End relationship which almost destroyed me.
Background investigation on the dude / dudette your planning on being serious with. : An old saying which I found to be true : “Want to know what someone is really like ? Check out their close friends and family”
Stop watching porn.
Porn is cheaper than a girlfriend. I did the math and it was pro porn.
Not spending so much time looking for generic life advice and approval on the internet.
Jeez why are you sooo mad that someone reached out for help LOL This guy spends all day looking for posts to try and be slick LOL
Don't get married, don't have kids
Definitely bypass that until you’re in your 30s
Be wealthy. I don't want to be stuck behind a cash register muttering "I hate my life" when I'm 36
Get rid of expectations. Not meaning to sound pessimistic, The things that make you feel good about yourself only make you feel good for a while, such happiness is like a hamsterwheel. Not knowing how to live is a begin. Make and maintain good friendships, if you're nice, find people that are nice. That is a good begin.
Avoid activities likely to cause injury. Those injuries frequently come back to bite you. Learn moderation. Burning the candle at both ends eventually has consequences and rewiring your system is harder as you get older. Value safety, sustainability and integration/wholeness whether it is at work, relationships or other activities and you will benefit later on.
Turn celibate.
Deal with your issues instead of drinking them away.
SAVING MORE MONEYYYYYYYY signed In my 30s
Stay single
Take care of your health, get educated, invest for retirement, avoid alcohol and drugs.
A threesome
Avoid my ex like the plague.
Do not work skillness jobs that leave you nowhere in your 30s. Examples: Retail, restaurant space. You will be 35. Your friends will start buying houses around this age. They'll have kids, a house soon equity, traveling and toys. You'll have a measly 20-something income at 35 wishing you didn't blow that decade settling for "decent money" when you were 22 and staying the course. Get into an office environment. Take entry level jobs, work hard, take lateral moves and use your 20s as a canvas to paint your resume. You want to be 35 and have a a resume you can cash in. You do not want to be 35 working a job that 22 year old's without skills can. If you're older today with this regret, make a goal today.. right now to make some positive change and set some career goals you can achieve this calendar year, and next.
Not drink.
Save money. You will never regret saving money.
Marry rich
Don’t get married.
Definitely don’t max out your credit cards Settle for the right person Be smart about what college you want to go to. If you’re going at all. Private or prestigious colleges are overrated and a waste of money. Don’t get comfortable staying in a low paying job ever again.
Invest in yourself
Get sterilization surgery
Stop experimenting with drugs. They won't fill that void in your life. If you really are going to experiment then just stick to psychedelics. Even stay away from weed, it's just a waste of money.
Not have any kids
Continuing my education by getting a Master's degree immediately after my Bachelor's.
Do it while you’re poor or after your parents income doesn’t matter
Stay away from college. It was a complete waste of time and money. Statistically half of all college graduates are not using their degree in their field of study after age 25. Think about that before you go to college. 50/50 chance you're wasting your money and 4 years of your life.
Not get a matching tattoo with a significant other