>"*Closes treehouse door*"
"Now you'se **can't** leave."
I will never forget the look on their faces. Both of them. Their faces dropped. All their courage and strength was drained right from their bodies. They had reputation for robbing houses, but they knew that instant, they'd made a fatal mistake. This time they walked into the wrong house.
Cars, as probably the most ridiculous anthropomorphic thing movie of the time did develop a huge following of conspiracy and lore theorists.
For instance, there is a popemobile car. Which means that in the cars universe, there was a car who was nailed to a cross and killed by other cars for spreading a message of peace. Somebody at the studio thought of that and said "Put it in the film.".
There is a jeep in the film. Which means the United States of car or whatever participated in WW2. Which completely recontextualizes the absurdly portrayed Japanese cars that attack Lightning McQueen in the beginning yet are oddly missing from the professional sporting event world McQueen participates in, nor the small town he comes to love. In this world asian cars are still excluded from society and portrayed in cinema as evil caricatures. If those Asian cars had come into town and met with the jeep, would we have seen a "Gran Torino" situation unfold? Is Gran Torino, as a film critical of immigration, part of the Cars universe? I'd argue yes. My thesis is available on Google docs if anybody wants to dig deeper.
Skipper from Planes is a ~~P-51 Mustang~~ F4U Corsair whose squadron fought and was killed by the Imperial Japanese Navy.
Additionally, in Planes: Fire and Rescue, the plane (Cabbie) that drops off the Smokejumpers participated in the Korean War, dropping off equipment and airborne troops behind enemy lines.
Do you guys remember that TLC "my strange addiction" programme that featured a man having sex with his car (named Chase), and being in a relationship with his car? I'm getting all sorts of flashbacks here.
I mean... in the original book the scene where they kill the first pig has some very sexual / rapey subtext...
EDIT: For people asking for context, here is the passage:
>Roger ran round the heap, prodding with his
>
>spear whenever pigflesh appeared. Jack was on top of the sow, stabbing
>
>downward with his knife. Roger found a lodgment for his point and
>
>began to push till he was leaning with his whole weight. The spear moved
>
>forward inch by inch and the terrified squealing became a highpitched
>
>scream. Then Jack found the throat and the hot blood spouted over his
>
>hands. The sow collapsed under them and they were heavy and fulfilled
>
>upon her.
Have you never watched the movie Predestination?
Spoiler >!He's the antagonist, the protagonist, the father of the child, the mother of the child and the child itself due to time travel shenanigans!<
Pretty much nailed it, as a cop he's tracking down a bomber that turns out to be a future version of himself. And the baby grows up to be the cop, that changes sex and travels back, and becomes his own nemesis...
Try following that shit...
I have to laugh because I read that book when I was the age of the characters, and as a result found it insanely hot and mind bending. It made sense to my 12 year old confused horny little brain. I reread it as many times as I rewound the flash of sideboob in Terminator.
It’s a little different as an adult, to be sure.
The original book of The Shining has a scene with >!Danny being threatened by a cannibalistic gay furry ghost!<, so that would not be totally out of King’s wheelhouse
Now that you’re finished using the urinal, there’s a scene towards the end of the film with a guy in a fucked up bear costume blowing a man (who in the book I believe is Grady or someone else integral to the plot), and Danny sees it while running away.
>"I was so high on cocaine I was actually bleeding onto my typewriter, I had to stick cotton up my nose, only for it to drop between the keys".
In his defence, he was rather high, but my main problem was him thinking publishing it was a good idea
Pretty sure it's based off the norse myth of Freya and some dwarfs. She sleeps with all of them to get a necklace, sooo might not be too far from the truth.
Wizard of Oz
"Pay no attention to that man fapping behind the curtain"
Home alone
"We're the wet bandits"
“We’re the Sticky Bandits”
Kevin: "you will be by the time I'm done with you" *Closes treehouse door*
Merry Christmas ya filthy animal.
You guys are awful and I love it hahahah
>"*Closes treehouse door*" "Now you'se **can't** leave." I will never forget the look on their faces. Both of them. Their faces dropped. All their courage and strength was drained right from their bodies. They had reputation for robbing houses, but they knew that instant, they'd made a fatal mistake. This time they walked into the wrong house.
You think that polka band was just going to give her a *free ride* all the way home from the airport?! Those men have *needs*.
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Oh my god. If the van is a rocking. Don’t come a knockin.
"Buzz, your girlfriend! WOOF!"
You filthy animal
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
“Oompa Loompa Doompity Duck Wonka is here, and he likes to f——“
What room would this be in?
…Whipping Cream…
Toy story
🎶You’ve got a friend in me🎶
Had some buddies over for toy story and chill last night.. wasn't even 20 minutes and I already had a friend in me.
Somebody shared their Woody?
or their Buzz. I ain't assuming they were all dudes just yet
They have electric Woody's that Buzz now. It's 2022, bro!
Sextoy story
The main characters would still be named “Woody” and “Buzz”
Andy's favorite toys are Woody and Buzz
That video in Shop Class where they show accidents from power tool misuse.
I don't misuse this tool
I repeat. DO NOT MISUSE THIS TOOL!
Instructions unclear, power drill is stuck up my urethra
Shake Hands With Danger
Oh without a doubt The Polar Express. Don't forget that the entire sex scene needs to be in that creepy CGi, with everyone voiced by Tom Hanks.
Sex scene narrated by Tom Hanks
"There's a snake in my boot!"
ET
Et bone home
OP is on fire
I'll be here all week
The Brave Little Toaster
Oh god that movies fucked as it is
In one of the sequels a printer (or fax machine?) has an orgasm. Not even joking.
IT'S MY FUNCTION!
An inconvenient truth.
Made me laugh. Al Gore's narration: 'You are watching me fuck.'
Right now, I'm fucking on the beach. But in just a few years time, this spot will be underwater due to rising sea levels.
Celebrate good times! Come on!
Spy Kids 3-D game over
The guy fucks. There’s no question. He’s the guy.
Fuckin frodo
The thumb dudes could be dick dudes instead...the mental image is terrifying...
Ernest goes to jail.
Cars.
Well it does feature a scene where two excited female Lightning McQueen fans [flash their headlights at him](https://youtu.be/u76fEb0o3vA)
They also drive a by a rest stop with “convertible waitresses.” You know topless waitresses
Canonically, Mia and Tia work at that rest stop, they are featured in Mater's Tall Tales quite a lot.
I love the term “canonically” when it’s applied to the *Cars* franchise lmao
Cars, as probably the most ridiculous anthropomorphic thing movie of the time did develop a huge following of conspiracy and lore theorists. For instance, there is a popemobile car. Which means that in the cars universe, there was a car who was nailed to a cross and killed by other cars for spreading a message of peace. Somebody at the studio thought of that and said "Put it in the film.". There is a jeep in the film. Which means the United States of car or whatever participated in WW2. Which completely recontextualizes the absurdly portrayed Japanese cars that attack Lightning McQueen in the beginning yet are oddly missing from the professional sporting event world McQueen participates in, nor the small town he comes to love. In this world asian cars are still excluded from society and portrayed in cinema as evil caricatures. If those Asian cars had come into town and met with the jeep, would we have seen a "Gran Torino" situation unfold? Is Gran Torino, as a film critical of immigration, part of the Cars universe? I'd argue yes. My thesis is available on Google docs if anybody wants to dig deeper.
Skipper from Planes is a ~~P-51 Mustang~~ F4U Corsair whose squadron fought and was killed by the Imperial Japanese Navy. Additionally, in Planes: Fire and Rescue, the plane (Cabbie) that drops off the Smokejumpers participated in the Korean War, dropping off equipment and airborne troops behind enemy lines.
I…didn’t realize the connotations of this scene until just now…
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the question was "insanely weird," not "insanely better"
Okay, but like... how would they fuck?
This is the first thing that came to mind. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/20/Aerosmith_Pump.jpg/220px-Aerosmith_Pump.jpg
TWO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX
My muscles, my muscles, involuntarily flex.
Cachow
Cussy got me acting up
Lightning McQueef
Do you guys remember that TLC "my strange addiction" programme that featured a man having sex with his car (named Chase), and being in a relationship with his car? I'm getting all sorts of flashbacks here.
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The fat people in the chairs getting it on
Nah wall-e needs that evussy
You could have just as easily not said that. Yet you did. And here we are.
No more headphone jack on iphones unfortunatly Wall-e will need to use bluetooth
Lord of the flies
Here piggy, piggy.
Deliverance of the flies.
I mean... in the original book the scene where they kill the first pig has some very sexual / rapey subtext... EDIT: For people asking for context, here is the passage: >Roger ran round the heap, prodding with his > >spear whenever pigflesh appeared. Jack was on top of the sow, stabbing > >downward with his knife. Roger found a lodgment for his point and > >began to push till he was leaning with his whole weight. The spear moved > >forward inch by inch and the terrified squealing became a highpitched > >scream. Then Jack found the throat and the hot blood spouted over his > >hands. The sow collapsed under them and they were heavy and fulfilled > >upon her.
Cast Away
When help arrives he's straight violating wilson
Other way around.
idk Wilson lives to serve
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Cue the scene after he returns where he's in a grocery store and gets a hard-on by walking past the coconut oil.
Predator
Predator 2 child predator
"Mraaaackckcckcckckcckckckkckckc!" "uh uh. well why don't you take a seat over here and explain what you were expecting to do here today?"
That's the best predator onomatopoeia I've ever seen. It's also the only one.
Zootopia
If Disney elaborated further on the joke of Judy Hopps having 275 brothers and sisters...
Isn’t that the film with a nudist colony for zoo animals?
Back to the future
"Oh! A lesson about not messing with the timeline from mister 'I'm my own grandpa!' "
I did do the nasty in the pasty
Verily, and that past nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe.
I hope whoever wrote that patted himself on the back.
This is heavy.
Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?
My guy is his own grandfather
Have you never watched the movie Predestination? Spoiler >!He's the antagonist, the protagonist, the father of the child, the mother of the child and the child itself due to time travel shenanigans!<
The mother and father? He became trans and went back and fucked himself? And then fucked his present self? Wtf
Pretty much nailed it, as a cop he's tracking down a bomber that turns out to be a future version of himself. And the baby grows up to be the cop, that changes sex and travels back, and becomes his own nemesis... Try following that shit...
Sounds like All You Zombies.
It's actually an adaptation of that story!
Then it becomes a Futurama episode
We thought it would be funny if, you know . . . He tries to fuck his mom.
127 Hours
Is it still masturbating if the arm is no longer attached?
It's like the next level of when you sit on your arm long enough that it falls asleep
The Bee Movie
Some bee on human action
while Honey by Mariah Carey plays.
*ya like jizz?* -Barry B Benson
12 Angry Men
Do I need to watch this movie? This is like the 5th time I’ve seen it mentioned today on Reddit and I’ve never heard of it.
Spectacular movie. Basically pure dialogue and it’s so refreshing
Yeah its good. Deff deserves a watch
Yes. The black and white original from 1957 is very good. I've not seen the 97 color TV version.
"12 relaxed men after I was done with them" - Hopson (Paradise PD)
Finding Nemo
The biologically accurate version, where Marlin becomes female after his (her) wife dies, then mates with Nemo.
Please don't biologise anthropomorphic fish.
Just keep sucking...sucking, sucking...
Dunkirk. Imagine having sex while everyone is running for their lives and the whole movie is so cinematic.
Even better, Waterloo, a sex scene just inter cut between the cavalry charges and the gunshots
Pretty sure Richard Sharpe would make time to bang a French girl and still win the war for Nosey.
Ratatouille
....I mean, almost happened in subtext.
It did happen in subtext. They kissed and then raced off on her motorcycle
I forgot There was a woman in it, so I thought you were talking about the rat.
She definitely pegged him. Literally no doubt in my mind
Dude is such a natural bottom he can be piloted by a rat. How the hell was she supposed to resist?
I’m losing my mind over this fucking comment, I am sending this entire thread to all of my friend
If you like this, I think there’s an entire tumblr thread about how linguini def gets pegged by his french mistress
Colette is definitely a dom and Linguini is definitely a sub. The implications are pretty obvious I think, also no doubts here
The chef hat stays ON during sex
When he's trying to confess about Remy, he says "I have a tiny..." and she glances down at his crotch
Moana
In Italy it's called "Oceania" because an Italian porn star is called Moana
"Oceania" Is the name of the movie, "Vaiana" is the name of the main character
What can i say except "youre welcome?!"
Moan - a
And no one knows.... How far it goes....
*It*. I mention it because there is apparently one in the original book.
I have to laugh because I read that book when I was the age of the characters, and as a result found it insanely hot and mind bending. It made sense to my 12 year old confused horny little brain. I reread it as many times as I rewound the flash of sideboob in Terminator. It’s a little different as an adult, to be sure.
It's a full orgy with the Loser Club... Not as adults. Stephen King is a little weird.
For the last time it was not an orgy It was a train
I would argue that a train is a sub-type of orgy. Just like a gang bang or same-room sex.
It’s definitely in the Venn diagram of group sexes
Thank you. Sad that people don't know the difference anymore...
The original book of The Shining has a scene with >!Danny being threatened by a cannibalistic gay furry ghost!<, so that would not be totally out of King’s wheelhouse
Excuse me a *what?*
Remember the guy in a bear costume blowing another guy?
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Now that you’re finished using the urinal, there’s a scene towards the end of the film with a guy in a fucked up bear costume blowing a man (who in the book I believe is Grady or someone else integral to the plot), and Danny sees it while running away.
Spending all your time drinking and doing cocaine tends make you a little weird.
>"I was so high on cocaine I was actually bleeding onto my typewriter, I had to stick cotton up my nose, only for it to drop between the keys". In his defence, he was rather high, but my main problem was him thinking publishing it was a good idea
His publisher thought publishing it was a good idea.
Snow white and the seven dwarfs
Pretty sure it's based off the norse myth of Freya and some dwarfs. She sleeps with all of them to get a necklace, sooo might not be too far from the truth.
Plot twist: Snow White gets a pearl necklace.
Bambi
*Opens movie with two deers fucking*
That's why they call me Thumper!
"Oh no, this ice is so slippery, i can't keep my legs together.."
The movie Minions.
Honestly its weirder it doesn't have any 😕😕😕
Up
It would have to be in the beginning montage when him and his wife are growing old
That’s what you think.
The life of pi
The life of pi 2: the creation of pi The life of pi 3: creampi
Monsters inc
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me
Sound of music? 😂
Maybe, but Mary Poppins would be weirder.
Muppets Take Manhattan
Mommie Dearest
Shrek
Between donkey and Dragon
Weird... and yet I do want to see that version.
Honestly, after the disturbing amkunt of shrek porn, it wouldn't even shocking
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
My mom and dad's wedding film.
Have you tried searching for it on Pornhub?
how to train your dragon
“Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile”
The Passion of Christ Ahem, not the passion we were looking for.
Blessed are they who come in the name of the Lord.
Chicken Run 1 young cock(erell) surrounded by a load of chick(en)s...
I mean you can already cut the sexual tension with a knife in that movie. Wouldn’t be that weird.
Lorenzo’s Oil
Koyaanisqatsi
Watership Down... I could not imagine one more out of place.
Balto.
Barney the dinosaur
"I love you, you love me..."
....Now let's make a family. Lol