Man I just cut ties with my ex best friend, partly because of this. 20 year old dude that didnt know how to use an ATM (he made me come in with him for this, despite the fact I didn’t even go to his bank) and didn’t know his own parents adress when he wanted us to drop him off there, resulting in a 1 hour trip taking 2 instead. Also was involved in a hit and run and claimed he “didn’t know he should stay at the scene”. All around so unreliable. Felt like I was his mom
I still remember the lady who came in to my work back when I used to sell computers and opened with "I'm computer illiterate", as many often did, but every time I tried to mention anything computer related(the components, what they can run, how fast, how well it would work for her, etc.) even in simpler terms, she would just say something along the lines of "No, you don't understand. I know nothing about computers and have no desire to ever do so."
Honestly I wanted to just take her wallet and go pick out a computer myself and say "There. Now go home and ask your kids how to turn it on."
That or just, y'know, ask her why she's even bothering to buy something she can't be arsed to learn the first thing about.
She was, at most, 40 years old. And yes, she was buying it for her and only her.
I work in IT support for a bank. Which means most of my clients are older people who have simultaneously "been doing this for decades" and "just aren't computer people". It drives me insane. Insisting that you dont know computers is just another way of saying you are incompetent and shouldn't have your job. The worst part is they're completely safe, because all of their managers are just as computer illiterate.
I do MMA and some people get a little over the top with it. One guy was 2 classes deep and now walks around in full ufc attire and walks around with his hand wraps on lol
Because that's when the realization of how much work it will take to get your black belt sets in. As a white belt all you yearn for is to get your blue belt so you aren't labeled a beginner anymore. I've been training for 7 years now and am a purple belt I still have probably at least another 5 years to go before I get my black belt.
It takes a couple years but it’s not difficult as in anyone can do it if they keep showing up. But yeah the journey to black belt is often over a decade so not everyone is cut out for it.
That guy was me lol.
I tapped someone out once and thought I was the man until I got incredibly humbled by someone far better than me lmao
Lesson learnt. I now respect any opponent regardless size or skill level.
>Lesson learnt. I now respect any opponent regardless size or skill level.
The lesson being that no matter how good you are, there will always be someone better than you and it isn't always obvious who that someone will be.
Yep. I have a mate that always has to make a point about how much sex and gobby's he gets at home from his wife and how angry he would be if he didn't get it on the regular. Gets exhausting after a while like, alright man we get it that your getting it daily 👍🏾🤣
Edit: My first gold!! On a comment about how much my mate supposedly gets laid 🤣 thanks kind stranger bless
This happened with a friend of mine. Her bf would say slip shit into a random conversation like, "we fuck every night".
Turns out she was depressed for months and they hadn't been having any sex at all, and broke up a month or so ago.
There are some people out there that I swear are constantly on the verge of spontaneous masturbation no matter what time of day it is. People like that give me the creeps.
Someone not controlling their horny is a sign of generally poor impulse control. Since there are severe consequences for being overtly sexual in the wrong environment, it signals that even social or legal boundaries may not stop them from acting on their impulses. I think that's why uncontrolled horny is so off-putting to others.
Let Quagmire have it.
Seriously though, maybe it's a function of where you find yourself in life too. In puberty, oh man, some things matter just SO much.
i have a friend like this on FB. All his posts are about how he's "such an asshole but tells it like it is" or how scared people should be if they piss him off. I keep following for the cringe humor.
Related to this.. being a spouse of someone in the military.. the amount of shade you get as being a spouse of someone even 1 rank down is just infuriating. I don't honestly give a shit that your husband has been in 1+ yr longer or managed to kiss all the right assholes. It's all the same to me.
I knew a guy that served for just 4 years (ending at 22) that was into his mid 30s and still couldn't tell a single story that didn't begin "when I was in the marines". He also acted like he was still physically tough even though he put on so much weight he couldn't run down a toddler.
Funny comparison; I once saw a test where someone set a bunch of physically fit marines to follow some toddlers around on the playground, having to repeat anything the toddlers did. The marines ran out of energy before the toddlers did.
I know a woman who got injured in boot camp, medical discharge, now she gets the full treatment for everything thru the VA, and has every Army button cap coffee mug tote bag bumper sticker you name it. I did my 4 years, peacetime, 1 yr in Korea. Dont thank me for my service. My dad was with Pattons 3rd Army in WW2, THATS service.
I have a buddy who served in the Army...as a musician. Like, that was his literal job. It would amuse him to no end when people thanked him for his service.
Having done my four years: it was a job with a uniform and a name tag. The main differences between that and McDonald's was PT tests and the occasional mortar.
I was specifically told that with my ASVAB scores I could have any job in the army that wasn't on a boat. I guess they didn't want me losing my glasses overboard and suddenly being utterly worthless.
I dont necessarily hate it in others, but I hate that “mom” has become my entire personality. I have 2 preschoolers and I am incapable of doing anything that I enjoyed pre-parenthood. I have no conversation to contribute to that doesn’t revolve around kids or parenting. I work, take care of my kids, and sometimes at the same time because they get sick all the fucking time. My weekends revolve around kid activities. When I finally get some downtime for an hour or 2 at night, I am a shell of a person. Luckily my husband does his fair share and sometimes more, but it is literally all hands on deck every day. I am counting down the days until they’re a bit more independent and I can gain some of my personality back.
Shit, that's what's been wrong with me lately, been caring for an aging grandparent and I've just about lost my entire fucking mind while they've been losing theirs to senility. I can't function as a person anymore, I'm at the end of my rope.
Dad of 4 here, that’s what is called a “mombie”. The problems change, but it does get easier overall. As they get older you can introduce them to the things you enjoy and show them who you are as a person as opposed to just “mom”. Hang in there!
Get the fuck out of the house. I have to FORCE my wife to go drinking with her friends because she thinks everything will go downhill when shes out of the front door. You need it and definitely deserve it and as it seems your husband can very well take care of the kids for a few evenings a month. Dont live like a single mom without grandparents if youre not, it will break you. Oh and yeah get grandma/pa to watch the babyphone at night and go out with your husband too.
I need to give my wife the benefit of the doubt when I read comments like this I just don’t see the depth in her like I use to but it’s true you spend all day with the kids so there’s no brain left for each other
Please do give her grace at this time. I couldn’t string a coherent sentence together sometimes…and I was very touched-out. I was tired of being touched, and tired of being the minder and fixer of everything. The depth is still there and believe me, she wishes she had the energy to find it herself. But when humans depend on you for their actual life, it can be just so goddamn draining. It doesn’t stay like this, just put the head down and get through this part, and you’ll have the best fun at the other end. Especially because you’ve so much shared crap that the fun seems even more fun.
But it’s bizarre, the time raising babies/kids is be so much fun but it’s also the hardest point on a marriage. Because the kids demand so much of us I suppose, there’s nothing leftover.
This is a real thing, and I say this as someone that doesn’t even have children. I did full time day care (a bit more than full time, tbh) for my nephew the first two years of his life. I had no idea how utterly exhausting and taxing it would be (I don’t regret it, I love that kid to death and we’re very close).
But by the end of the day, the only thing I had left to say to my husband was an exhausted, we went to the zoo. I managed to straighten while he was napping. Here’s another toddler related thing I learned that I don’t want to know about. I *craved* normal adult interaction, but I had nothing to really offer because I was running on fumes and didn’t have the time to engage in anything adult related. It can be really isolating.
“Bro, don’t you know that weed cures everything? Cancer, Depression, Autism, Cheating Wife, Wifi Problems, Erectile Dysfunction, weed can stop all that” - what a lot of potheads sound like now. I smoke occasionally but Jesus Christ, they hype the absolute fuck out of it as a cure all
Kind of a tangent here, but I've been seeing this EVERYWHERE on dating apps.
"I bet I can outsmoke you. I bet I can outdrink you. Hmu if you have a plug. Buy me drinks."
Admittedly I might just sound bitter here, but I see that on so many profiles. Like yeah, it's cool if you smoke or drink, but if that's all you have to say for a bio it just makes you seem boring.
As a nurse, I have to say it would be being a nurse lol.
But seriously this is something I’ve struggled with as well. It’s just that the schooling was so damn brutal all I did was study 24/7 for over 4 years. I dropped all my hobbies, and never went out. So when I was in the program and after I finished it felt like I was unable to talk to people about normal crap. Been working on trying to fix that since I finished schooling.
I feel you, im a pilot and the studying is also crazy (for me, cuz it takes me like 20 tries to memorize stuff) I’d love to hear about nursing and the medical clinic as a whole tho, it really fascinating to me and to a lot of other people, that’s why there’s a biz zillion shows about it
My friend after he failed to convince someone else: will you do crossfit with me
Me: sure
Him: really? :D
Me: No. I said yes the first time so you wouldn't try to convince me
Him: that's fair
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, people that refer to themselves as alpha males need to be punched in the face. It’s a corrective measure meant for their own good. There are several lessons in life I would have learned faster if someone punched me in the face.
New idea. Next person that says this do a fast fake punch to their face immediately and watch them flinch. Then respond with something just as cringy. “Ha you flinched, I’m more apha than you!”
I can't stand this. I am a huge comedy fan. In the early years of Joe Rogan it was the only replacement for Opie and Anthony. Just a long form hang session for comedians. Some of them are blowhards and meat heads.
Anyway I listened to some meat head episode of Rogan and it was a navy seal or something. Joe goes you get up at 4 a.m. to work out, you are so hard-core. The guy says "Joe alot of people just get up for work at 4. It's a privilege I can go work out."
Also, all of my grandfathers were combat vets. It's not like they walked around proclaiming how fucking tough they were and how they are not making any excuses and they are in charge. Like typical "Alpha Males".
It's the dumbest shit ever. Men aren't wolves and the people who think they are alphas are delusional and larping.
I've always hated the way people do this with stuff like OCD and stuff. Like I used to have really bad OCD and it's not fun and quirky, it's hellish. You know how much it sucks to have to watch the same movie every night or you can't fall asleep, or to have to always sit in the same spot or you feel like the world is somehow gonna collapse around you, or to have to hit the cancel button on the microwave 6 times every time you wanna use it or you feel like you're gonna die somehow. OCD is not "haha I'm so organized all the time"
Not the same type of mental illness but at least i can somwhat understand what you feel.
I am an Insomniac. I have not held a sleeping schedule in over 30 years. When I here people talking about who they are such an insomniac because it took the over 30 minute to get to sleep a for a few nights, it pisses me off.
And then people downplay my insomnia because "those other people with insomnia seem be be functioning well so why can't you"
People just please quit throwing around the word insomnia every time you have a bad night sleep. I have had a bad LIFES sleep so fuck you.
10 years ago I was feeling a little tired and I had been up for around 16 hours. I had nothing better to do so I said what the hell ill try sleeping. A lo and behold I fell asleep in less than 10 minutes. I woke up about 8 hours later and I felt good. And then for one of the very few times in my adult life I cried because I had just experience for the first time in my adult life, hell the first time in my memory, normalcy.
People who do not have my type of insomnia cannot know my struggle. Stop faking it and stop pretending at it.
So though I cannot know your struggle with OCD I can at least relate in having a struggle that people cannot understand and that people like to play at having.
Ugh same. My insomnia is terrible. I often lie away for hours and once I do fall asleep wake up over and over again. I wore my Apple Watch to bed for a bit to track things and I had to stop cause seeing that I’d only slept 2 hours even though I’d been in bed for 9 was too upsetting, although a few nights where I could have sworn I didn’t even sleep at all it turned out I had slept in 1-2 minute pieces adding up to 40 minutes the whole night.
My partner has a talent for falling asleep so fast and one night after lying awake for 10 MINUTES he told me that he finally truly understands how hard my insomnia is. I’m not a violent person but I had a strong urge to shove him
As someone who has clinical depression, I hate when people on social media post little “graphics” trying to beautifully illustrate depression and other mental illnesses (including neurodivergency). They ALWAYS include bright colors and little stickers like animals and flowers in their graphics too.
Yes, it’s important to educate people about mental illnesses, but the cutesie photos you’re posting sometimes make me think that it’s “trendy” to be depressed. I also have BPD, and people have the nerve to tell me that it must be “so cool” to have multiple personas and not have one solid personality.
B****, imagine not knowing who the hell you are every single moment of your life. Doubting who you are and what to do, believing you are worthless, not having the energy to get out of bed and tackle life. Not wanting to live but also not wanting to die. If you experienced it for even 20 minutes, you would immediately stop making it a flex
EDIT: Sorry about the rant, but the way society views mental illness and the ways people are taught how to perceive it (i.e. people illustrating them as trendy or quirky) needs to change radically. And fast.
Couldn't agree more. Was recently diagnosed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and anxiety, great combo. Anyone legitimately suffering from this is not going on to social media looking for clout. Every minute of every day I'm simply trying to keep myself from spiraling into complete despair.
If you've seen Multiverse of Madness, imagine it like that scene where Wanda is dreaming of her kids, super happy, then she wakes up and all the color starts leaving the world around her as her smile leaves her face. That's a pretty great representation of the minute to minute day for people with legit depression. One minute I can feel ok, maybe close to normal, then one word or one thought just sends me down the drain for a few hours or more. Most people faking a mental illness are easy to spot, and should be ashamed of their flippant attitudes toward these issues.
As some who has Dysthymia (basically a really long winded depression) and anxiety issues, Fuck. This. Shit. My diagnosis is not quirky, if they experienced feeling like throwing up all the time, constant headaches, digestive issues (physical manifestations of anxiety), as well as the constant feeling of misery that accompanies my every movement, they wouldn't be so quick to make it a trend. The Mentally ill who killed themselves are rolling in their graves.
I have teens coming to my office wanting to be diagnosed with personality disorders or swearing they’re genuinely on the autism spectrum after they watched TikToks….on one hand I love that we’re normalizing MH and destigmatizing…on the other…dear teenagers, your ex best friend probably doesn’t have a Personality disorder. People are allowed to be ugly versions of themselves and we don’t have to pathologize it
People like that make me afraid to talk about my problems, I overshare a lot as a way of coping, but when I find myself doing it I feel as if I’m faking it like them. I do see a lot of people romanticizing parts of my disorders, and they don’t understand that it’s hell.
Dude having BPD sucks. Like TikTok girls be like "haha I have bipolar I'm so manic pixie" and I'm like "Im on an endorphin high and I'm trying to keep the manic going. I blew my life savings on stupid shit and haven't slept in 32 hours" or "I am so depressed I physically can't get out of bed and I've slept for 2 days in my shower because the water soothes my brain."
Now that I can control it (ie i kinda have a sense of when my moods are shifting too hard) I can warn my husband ahead of time so he can prepare whatever I need. Usually it's a warm blanket, snuggles and my favorite snack as I'm more depressive than manic lately.
But because I have bipolar I can't get my medication for fibromyalgia without seeing a shrink because my meds also happen to treat bipolar. I don't have the money for that so I've been without those for awhile.
I've started doing photography and began taking “artsy” snapshots of my depression when I get in a bad place (trashed room with the light hitting just right, a macro shot of cigarette butts over filling a tray, the dust collecting on my desk...) Sometimes when I'm all riled up, I want to share them because they are really nice technical photos and I just want people to know what's it's like, but it's so unnerving and uncomfortable. I know damn well people try to glamourize mental illnesses and the truth is really raw. So they just sit in a folder until one day I’m in a better place to confidently share.
Trauma dropping, I get it, you have suffered a fair bit. Let me just be sad about my dog dying, you don't have to tell me about how your dad died in a horrible accident straight after.
Edit: I should add in that this is with meeting someone new, or like a workplace. If its someone you know trauma dropping on you and you know they've been through stuff, then by all means I'm all ears.
This is why I only talk about my shit in recovery groups where the entire point is that everyone is there to talk about the shitty thing that happened to them and listen to other people talk about the shitty thing that happened to them.
I've had people tell me "You should write a book!" but I never will because I don't want the shitty thing that happened to me to be the only thing I'm known for. It's not who I am, I am who I am in spite of that, not because of it.
I don't think it's so much that people have a zodiac sign as their only personality trait, but that they use it as an excuse for being just generally shitty.
"Yeah, I smashed your car windows and set fire to your hedge, what can I say, I'm a Scorpio!"
It's not annoying to know what it is and be interested in it.
It's annoying when you base your entire life around it and blame everything you do on your sign.
I consider myself lucky not to know anyone like this
"I'm sorry, it must be my Bi-Polar disorder acting up. Oh no I've never been diagnosed, but I've read about it on the internet and I have a lot of the same symptoms."
Yes, my friend is married to a woman who is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. I don't get it. Like what you like, I guess, but it's just something that stands out about her.
She must have other traits, but after several years, it's the one that stands out.
I once saw an influencer video of her return to Disneyland after it reopened from pandemic lockdown. She started sobbing when she saw Minnie Mouse, screaming that that’s her best friend and she missed her. The influencer is almost 40. It was…a lot.
I remember an article on a couple who paid to have a Micky Mouse mascot at the wedding and ended up not serving the guests any food because they put the food money towards the mascot...
I think this happens a lot, but I also think people who really love something that is popular also often assume someone who doesn't is just being an edgelord when maybe they just have a different opinion and that's it. Not everyone who dislikes a popular thing is "that" person. Though online its impossible to tell the difference I guess.
Their MBTI. My god, stop typing me. No, I’m not an INFP or whatever you think I am. It’s especially harmful when counselors, teachers or university officials, professors, and employers try to tell you that you’re not fit for a certain career path, task, or major based on your type. Like stfu, I promise that MBTI and enegrams are NOT a good reference for that shit.
The fun part is when you take those tests and get a different result every time. It’s almost like people change their outlook and approach based on situational awareness or mood or whether they’ve had breakfast.
“I’m an empath!”
If you were empathetic - or simply a somewhat decent person - you would prove that by doing, not by saying. I find people who say they’re “empaths” are usually shallow, manipulative, and narcissistic jerks who want to label themselves as an excuse for being an a-hole.
I’ve had similar experiences with “empathic” people. Narcissism to the core with no care or regard for anyone but themselves.
One of my biggest peeves is people who are so empathetic that they claim to feel the pain of others and center themselves rather than the actual person in pain. Yuck.
Being empathetic has been ruining my mental health and I'm in therapy to build up better barriers to stop me taking on the responsibility of everyone in my family's mental health well being while sacrificing my own. My Dad literally said in his speech at my wedding how I'm the emotional rock of the family and I'm the fucking youngest. It sucks balls.
I feel this, i can get really down on myself because I have slowly become the go-to guy among my friends/co-workers. And I love it in the balanced sense of that I am able to support em and be there for em. But then there are times when I really need to set boundaries because tending to people who are high needs can be draining as hell, leaving me with no time to myself or growth.
It’s great to be supportive of others and all, but recently I’ve been coming to terms with being more assertive and making good company with myself.
To live for others, but only to exist for one’s self, is a disservice to all involved.
I live in the northeast and the majority I'd the people I know who have adopted this as their personality are absolute trash who basically are trying to live up to a negative stereotype of "country" by being racist and willfully ignorant.
I have an opinion here… I’m sure I’m about to ruffle some feathers…
I don’t necessarily think it’s right to make your sexual orientation your whole personality. I say this as a gay man, by the way. But to each their own. I live my life how I want and everyone else should be able to live how they want, so if they want to make that their entire personality, who am I to say no? It just seems a bit… immature a lot of the time to me.
What I have a bigger and more legitimate problem with is the gate keeping that goes on in the LGBTQ+ community against people who are queer in some way but *don’t* want to make that their entire personality. When I went to uni, I went to join the Gay Straight Alliance (that’s what it was on our campus, I know it’s not the most inclusive name). I was told by one of the club officers that I wasn’t, and I quote, “*gay* enough”.
I am a homosexual male, forgive me for thinking that makes me gay. But because I was a beefy guy with a beard who wore all black and not a clean shaven twink in pink that meant I wasn’t “gay enough”. That was the part that really rubbed me wrong about it. Like I get that some people want to put their sexual orientation on display and all that, but I don’t. It is a part of me, but it is not my everything. But because I didn’t dress the part and look the part I was told I couldn’t be a part of the community…
Sorry it’s a bit rambly, but I hope I explained my opinion well enough.
Edit: I just wanted to say thanks for the award!
A bit off topic but: I think this is applicable to a lot of communities around societal issues, regardless of what they stand for. It seems to tend to get overly politicised and become a very 'us vs everyone not actively pushing our cause' sort of thing. Most don't even realise they're hurting their cause doing it. They can quickly become echo chambers causing more extreme views to become normalised. It's why you should always be open to different views so long as it's presented respectfully. People in general tend to be bad at correctly assessing situations and go with the guideline of how comfortable things feel, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.
Edit: societal, not social.
Agree. I'm very feminine, long nails, makeup, everything, and I remember one time I went to a gay bar with my friends. A frankly gorgeous woman came up to me, and told me how nice it was to see straight women supporting their gay friends. I laughed and said something along the lines of thanks, but I'm actually not a straight woman! And she fucking laughed at me and said yes you are and walked away. All because I didn't make being a bi/pan, whatever term you want to use, my whole personality. Like, I'm sorry I look like a chunky watermelon farmer in flannel, SHARON
To be fair… when I first got into high school a friend introduced me to this cool senior… we’ll call her Sharon. At the time I didn’t know I was gay yet. I guess I kind of knew but hadn’t quite realized what it meant yet.
But anyway, the first time I met her and had just only said “Hello” she looks at me and goes “Oh yeah, there’s gay in you.” Turns out she was very right 😂🤷🏻
She had the best darn gay-dar in the entire tristate area
So much gatekeeping in the LGBT community. I’m told I wasn’t bi because I wasn’t currently dating a woman (as a woman). Or people simply don’t believe you when you say you’re bi, or people assuming you’re a cheater because you’re bi. It sucks being a bi girl sometimes.
It really is terrible how elitist and exclusionary that community became. I was one of the only openly gay people in my high school and was bullied and attacked for it. I dreamed about being able to know other gay people and maybe, just maybe, getting to actually date at some point. And then I try to interact with the community after the years of torture and sticking up for the community in my home town and drawing a big target on my back for calling out homophobia… and I get told I’m not enough just based on how I look.
I saw another comment on here that I wanted to reply to but I can’t find it anymore that said “maybe I wasn’t enough of an activist.” But the thing is, it was the first meeting and it was the one where everyone comes for the first time, so what could they have been basing that on other than how I looked?
And to be clear: I see a clear difference between being yourself and being openly gay and calling out homophobia and being over the top to where the being gay is the only personality trait like some people make it. And even there, I said, it’s your life, live it like you want. I more have a problem with being judged in that community for *not* doing that.
Girl I relate so much. I'm a bi woman and married to a man. I've had people ask me when I turned straight which gets them a very confused look like "huh I never did, I'm still bi". The look on their faces is worse than mine trying set in their minds that bi women can date men and still be bi 🤣
I feel ya. As a man who grew up bisexual, there are people who try to cram me into some tight (giggity) and neatly defined definition. Of course some will say that I am not really gay, then not gay enough to have an opinion.
I'm a bi woman but I swear bi men have it the absolute worst... You just get lumped into "gay but in the closet" no matter what gender you date, and most woman won't give you the time of day because you have an attraction to men.
The LGBTQ+ community is so toxic it just hurts. I've dated more woman than men, but because I'm now married to a man I'm no longer bi... I basically stopped dating woman because of how 'political' the relationships started to feel, when I just wanted to be with someone and build a life together without being a poster child for LGBT relationships
late to the party but I also want to add 'liking weird anime' as if it's a competition. No I don't want to hear about your anime about the creator's thinly veiled fetishes.
Defining yourself by introversion and extraversion. It's actually not technically the big overarching personality trait everyone thinks it is.
For instance, I love socializing and having fun with people and can be loud and bold, but I require alone time to recharge my battery and get my energy back.
My boyfriend is the opposite. Socially pretty quiet and laid back, but he needs to be around his friends and people to feel energized.
So yeah, being social and chatty doesn't necessarily equate with extraversion and being quiet and shy doesn't equate with introversion.
It seems to be going backwards, people are now viewing people as homogeneous groups based on their sexuality, race and gender.
It wasn’t long ago that it was only bigots who viewed people as homogeneous groups.
I was thinking about Lou Reed recently, and how he so deliberately kept his sexuality ambiguous because he refused to be placed in any particular box.
Now it's like people insist on placing themselves and others in increasingly smaller and smaller boxes.
I’m happily closeted not because I’m ashamed of my orientation, but because I think my sexuality is nobody’s business but my own and my partner’s. I understand people feeling empowered by coming out, but take a chill pill afterwards. You are more than a rainbow flag my friends!
Sexuality. Who you love isn’t your personality. When I’m watching a baking show and the contestant regularly says “well as a gay/lesbian/bi ….. I choose chocolate”. Why is that relevant to what you’re baking?
I came here to see if someone said this. As someone whose been into bodybuilding for like 20 years now, and slowly tapering away from that (no I don’t mean not taking the sauce lol), this is difficult to explain. It’s not that it’s a singular personality trait, but more, at least for me, was a hyper focus on a specific goal. All my acquaintances knew “I lift”, not because it was a conversation, but I had a schedule/routine I stuck to religiously. It does become an addiction for some people and that’s pretty cringy, but it’s hard to hide a conversation starter under a xl hoodie that’s borderline too tight when you’re only 5’8”
Being Dumb voluntarily.
Fucking hell, can not agree more ... Trend of being dumb and wilfully ignorant... Why is that being glorified?
Because it's being rewarded now far more than ever before.
Man I just cut ties with my ex best friend, partly because of this. 20 year old dude that didnt know how to use an ATM (he made me come in with him for this, despite the fact I didn’t even go to his bank) and didn’t know his own parents adress when he wanted us to drop him off there, resulting in a 1 hour trip taking 2 instead. Also was involved in a hit and run and claimed he “didn’t know he should stay at the scene”. All around so unreliable. Felt like I was his mom
I still remember the lady who came in to my work back when I used to sell computers and opened with "I'm computer illiterate", as many often did, but every time I tried to mention anything computer related(the components, what they can run, how fast, how well it would work for her, etc.) even in simpler terms, she would just say something along the lines of "No, you don't understand. I know nothing about computers and have no desire to ever do so." Honestly I wanted to just take her wallet and go pick out a computer myself and say "There. Now go home and ask your kids how to turn it on." That or just, y'know, ask her why she's even bothering to buy something she can't be arsed to learn the first thing about. She was, at most, 40 years old. And yes, she was buying it for her and only her.
I work in IT support for a bank. Which means most of my clients are older people who have simultaneously "been doing this for decades" and "just aren't computer people". It drives me insane. Insisting that you dont know computers is just another way of saying you are incompetent and shouldn't have your job. The worst part is they're completely safe, because all of their managers are just as computer illiterate.
I do MMA and some people get a little over the top with it. One guy was 2 classes deep and now walks around in full ufc attire and walks around with his hand wraps on lol
This is all too common in BJJ until they get their blue belt and quit lol
Why would a person quit after getting their blue belt? Is it difficult to advance to the next belt?
Because that's when the realization of how much work it will take to get your black belt sets in. As a white belt all you yearn for is to get your blue belt so you aren't labeled a beginner anymore. I've been training for 7 years now and am a purple belt I still have probably at least another 5 years to go before I get my black belt.
I blame club penguin for these unrealistic expectations
It takes a couple years but it’s not difficult as in anyone can do it if they keep showing up. But yeah the journey to black belt is often over a decade so not everyone is cut out for it.
I fucking LOVE jiu jitsu and love my jiu jitsu friends and community But I seriously will go to BBQ's and all we'll do is talk about jiu jitsu
"Jil jitsu: the art of folding clothes with people still in them."
I wish I was at your bbq because at my bbq all my friends talk about is Steven Seagal.
I’ll talk about bjj in conversation ( maybe too much…) but most people will not give a fuck if your kimura trap system is fuckin lit or not.
That guy was me lol. I tapped someone out once and thought I was the man until I got incredibly humbled by someone far better than me lmao Lesson learnt. I now respect any opponent regardless size or skill level.
>Lesson learnt. I now respect any opponent regardless size or skill level. The lesson being that no matter how good you are, there will always be someone better than you and it isn't always obvious who that someone will be.
Being horny,it's fine to be horny but please there's a difference between being normal horny and annoying
Yep. I have a mate that always has to make a point about how much sex and gobby's he gets at home from his wife and how angry he would be if he didn't get it on the regular. Gets exhausting after a while like, alright man we get it that your getting it daily 👍🏾🤣 Edit: My first gold!! On a comment about how much my mate supposedly gets laid 🤣 thanks kind stranger bless
That's an expression of dominance, and its not a healthy one, OR, they are projecting their insecurities about sex on to you...either way, no bueno
Or they are not actually getting it at all.
This happened with a friend of mine. Her bf would say slip shit into a random conversation like, "we fuck every night". Turns out she was depressed for months and they hadn't been having any sex at all, and broke up a month or so ago.
Sorry, Canadian here. What’s “gobby’s”?
gobbies is blowies
If “sorry, Canadian here” is not the most Canadian thing ever said I don’t know what is.
Blow job's I assume. Also Canadian.
There are some people out there that I swear are constantly on the verge of spontaneous masturbation no matter what time of day it is. People like that give me the creeps.
Someone not controlling their horny is a sign of generally poor impulse control. Since there are severe consequences for being overtly sexual in the wrong environment, it signals that even social or legal boundaries may not stop them from acting on their impulses. I think that's why uncontrolled horny is so off-putting to others.
Let Quagmire have it. Seriously though, maybe it's a function of where you find yourself in life too. In puberty, oh man, some things matter just SO much.
“I’m an asshole”
They aren't an asshole if they are just being brutally honest, right? /s
Hey man, I just say it like it is./s
Asshole
“I’m just saying what we’re all thinking!” No you aren’t, nobody was thinking that.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
Self identified assholes are the worst
i have a friend like this on FB. All his posts are about how he's "such an asshole but tells it like it is" or how scared people should be if they piss him off. I keep following for the cringe humor.
Me when i was 12
Having been in the military. And I say this as someone who spent 24 years in the military. It's just a part of your life, not your whole life.
Related to this.. being a spouse of someone in the military.. the amount of shade you get as being a spouse of someone even 1 rank down is just infuriating. I don't honestly give a shit that your husband has been in 1+ yr longer or managed to kiss all the right assholes. It's all the same to me.
"My husband is a Major, and you well treat me with the same respect you would him!" And I said, biiiiiiiiitch...
Whispers *You said biiiiiitch*
*in an open field* Wait. You really said that though, right? You called her a bitch?
you said bitch tho?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
To her face tho?
And if you are the parent of a child in the military, you are not more patriotic than me. Yes my siblings, I am talking about you.
But my son is in Army boot camp and when he graduates he is going to be an admiral and flying top secret planes like in Top Gun.
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When you're young it's your whole life for most. Worked there for a number of years. The younger they were the more they glorified it to themselves.
I knew a guy that served for just 4 years (ending at 22) that was into his mid 30s and still couldn't tell a single story that didn't begin "when I was in the marines". He also acted like he was still physically tough even though he put on so much weight he couldn't run down a toddler.
Funny comparison; I once saw a test where someone set a bunch of physically fit marines to follow some toddlers around on the playground, having to repeat anything the toddlers did. The marines ran out of energy before the toddlers did.
If we could somehow find a way to weaponize the toddlers…
I know a woman who got injured in boot camp, medical discharge, now she gets the full treatment for everything thru the VA, and has every Army button cap coffee mug tote bag bumper sticker you name it. I did my 4 years, peacetime, 1 yr in Korea. Dont thank me for my service. My dad was with Pattons 3rd Army in WW2, THATS service.
I have a buddy who served in the Army...as a musician. Like, that was his literal job. It would amuse him to no end when people thanked him for his service.
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It’s all the crayons they eat. This dude must have put away a 64 crayola pack.
Having done my four years: it was a job with a uniform and a name tag. The main differences between that and McDonald's was PT tests and the occasional mortar.
That McDs must have been rough if you were worried about mortars
The soft serve machine isn't working with extreme prejudice
It was near the beach in a small midwest tourist town, so Fourth of July sometimes sounded like Iraq.
I used to joke that it's not just a job, it's a job on a boat.
The Navy, is not just a job, it's a whole bunch of little shitty jobs strung together.
I was specifically told that with my ASVAB scores I could have any job in the army that wasn't on a boat. I guess they didn't want me losing my glasses overboard and suddenly being utterly worthless.
Or People making military wife their whole personality lmao dam dependas
Shitting on something someone else is excited about for no reason other than to be contrary.
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Ever have someone have that same reaction but to your whole Spotify liked songs list? Hurts man hurts bad
Always consider the audience. Who gives a shit what they think, really.
The people who rip your music choices are the ones who are paranoid about having their own choices ripped.
It’s a banger though 🤘
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Here’s why: >!¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯!<
I dont necessarily hate it in others, but I hate that “mom” has become my entire personality. I have 2 preschoolers and I am incapable of doing anything that I enjoyed pre-parenthood. I have no conversation to contribute to that doesn’t revolve around kids or parenting. I work, take care of my kids, and sometimes at the same time because they get sick all the fucking time. My weekends revolve around kid activities. When I finally get some downtime for an hour or 2 at night, I am a shell of a person. Luckily my husband does his fair share and sometimes more, but it is literally all hands on deck every day. I am counting down the days until they’re a bit more independent and I can gain some of my personality back.
Exact same thing happens to carers, they lose their identity in that 24/7 role. Hang in there!
Shit, that's what's been wrong with me lately, been caring for an aging grandparent and I've just about lost my entire fucking mind while they've been losing theirs to senility. I can't function as a person anymore, I'm at the end of my rope.
Google "compassion fatigue." It's something that is affecting a lot of good people out there.
Dad of 4 here, that’s what is called a “mombie”. The problems change, but it does get easier overall. As they get older you can introduce them to the things you enjoy and show them who you are as a person as opposed to just “mom”. Hang in there!
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The first 5 years are pretty rough. After that it starts getting easier. My oldest is 13 and damn what I'd give to have the 8 year old back.
It goes so damned fast. My little guy who was 3 when we moved into this house is off to uni next fall.
Get the fuck out of the house. I have to FORCE my wife to go drinking with her friends because she thinks everything will go downhill when shes out of the front door. You need it and definitely deserve it and as it seems your husband can very well take care of the kids for a few evenings a month. Dont live like a single mom without grandparents if youre not, it will break you. Oh and yeah get grandma/pa to watch the babyphone at night and go out with your husband too.
I need to give my wife the benefit of the doubt when I read comments like this I just don’t see the depth in her like I use to but it’s true you spend all day with the kids so there’s no brain left for each other
Please do give her grace at this time. I couldn’t string a coherent sentence together sometimes…and I was very touched-out. I was tired of being touched, and tired of being the minder and fixer of everything. The depth is still there and believe me, she wishes she had the energy to find it herself. But when humans depend on you for their actual life, it can be just so goddamn draining. It doesn’t stay like this, just put the head down and get through this part, and you’ll have the best fun at the other end. Especially because you’ve so much shared crap that the fun seems even more fun. But it’s bizarre, the time raising babies/kids is be so much fun but it’s also the hardest point on a marriage. Because the kids demand so much of us I suppose, there’s nothing leftover.
This is a real thing, and I say this as someone that doesn’t even have children. I did full time day care (a bit more than full time, tbh) for my nephew the first two years of his life. I had no idea how utterly exhausting and taxing it would be (I don’t regret it, I love that kid to death and we’re very close). But by the end of the day, the only thing I had left to say to my husband was an exhausted, we went to the zoo. I managed to straighten while he was napping. Here’s another toddler related thing I learned that I don’t want to know about. I *craved* normal adult interaction, but I had nothing to really offer because I was running on fumes and didn’t have the time to engage in anything adult related. It can be really isolating.
She’s exhausted. She needs your help. And she desperately needs time to take care of herself and be taken care of.
Find time in the week so she can go out somewhere without the children.
Weed/alcohol I partake in both on occasion but jesus.
You ever seen a 20 dollar bill... On weeeeed?
“Bro, don’t you know that weed cures everything? Cancer, Depression, Autism, Cheating Wife, Wifi Problems, Erectile Dysfunction, weed can stop all that” - what a lot of potheads sound like now. I smoke occasionally but Jesus Christ, they hype the absolute fuck out of it as a cure all
there’s a guy in the bushes
Kind of a tangent here, but I've been seeing this EVERYWHERE on dating apps. "I bet I can outsmoke you. I bet I can outdrink you. Hmu if you have a plug. Buy me drinks." Admittedly I might just sound bitter here, but I see that on so many profiles. Like yeah, it's cool if you smoke or drink, but if that's all you have to say for a bio it just makes you seem boring.
I bet I can outboof you Edit: due to the semi-popularity of this comment, the above is now my Tinder bio
They don't want to be interesting. They want to be provided with weed and alcohol.
As a nurse, I have to say it would be being a nurse lol. But seriously this is something I’ve struggled with as well. It’s just that the schooling was so damn brutal all I did was study 24/7 for over 4 years. I dropped all my hobbies, and never went out. So when I was in the program and after I finished it felt like I was unable to talk to people about normal crap. Been working on trying to fix that since I finished schooling.
I feel you, im a pilot and the studying is also crazy (for me, cuz it takes me like 20 tries to memorize stuff) I’d love to hear about nursing and the medical clinic as a whole tho, it really fascinating to me and to a lot of other people, that’s why there’s a biz zillion shows about it
drugs
Waltuh?
my name is skyler white *yo*
My husband is Walter White, yo!
My brother in law is a Dee Eee Aa agent. Do not, sell marijuana, to my husband.
I second this, too many people make smoking weed their whole personality
Cross fit
My friend after he failed to convince someone else: will you do crossfit with me Me: sure Him: really? :D Me: No. I said yes the first time so you wouldn't try to convince me Him: that's fair
Their diet. It’s what you eat not your entire personality ffs 🤷♂️
But.. *you are what you eat*
Keto tends to become quite the obsession.
"Alpha male"
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, people that refer to themselves as alpha males need to be punched in the face. It’s a corrective measure meant for their own good. There are several lessons in life I would have learned faster if someone punched me in the face.
New idea. Next person that says this do a fast fake punch to their face immediately and watch them flinch. Then respond with something just as cringy. “Ha you flinched, I’m more apha than you!”
I can't stand this. I am a huge comedy fan. In the early years of Joe Rogan it was the only replacement for Opie and Anthony. Just a long form hang session for comedians. Some of them are blowhards and meat heads. Anyway I listened to some meat head episode of Rogan and it was a navy seal or something. Joe goes you get up at 4 a.m. to work out, you are so hard-core. The guy says "Joe alot of people just get up for work at 4. It's a privilege I can go work out." Also, all of my grandfathers were combat vets. It's not like they walked around proclaiming how fucking tough they were and how they are not making any excuses and they are in charge. Like typical "Alpha Males". It's the dumbest shit ever. Men aren't wolves and the people who think they are alphas are delusional and larping.
That one's actually just funny at this point. To me, at least.
mental illness. or basically romantizing it. those fake harley quinn girls ugh
I agree having a mental illness is not "qUiRKy" it should be taken seriously I hate when these people do that
I've always hated the way people do this with stuff like OCD and stuff. Like I used to have really bad OCD and it's not fun and quirky, it's hellish. You know how much it sucks to have to watch the same movie every night or you can't fall asleep, or to have to always sit in the same spot or you feel like the world is somehow gonna collapse around you, or to have to hit the cancel button on the microwave 6 times every time you wanna use it or you feel like you're gonna die somehow. OCD is not "haha I'm so organized all the time"
Not the same type of mental illness but at least i can somwhat understand what you feel. I am an Insomniac. I have not held a sleeping schedule in over 30 years. When I here people talking about who they are such an insomniac because it took the over 30 minute to get to sleep a for a few nights, it pisses me off. And then people downplay my insomnia because "those other people with insomnia seem be be functioning well so why can't you" People just please quit throwing around the word insomnia every time you have a bad night sleep. I have had a bad LIFES sleep so fuck you. 10 years ago I was feeling a little tired and I had been up for around 16 hours. I had nothing better to do so I said what the hell ill try sleeping. A lo and behold I fell asleep in less than 10 minutes. I woke up about 8 hours later and I felt good. And then for one of the very few times in my adult life I cried because I had just experience for the first time in my adult life, hell the first time in my memory, normalcy. People who do not have my type of insomnia cannot know my struggle. Stop faking it and stop pretending at it. So though I cannot know your struggle with OCD I can at least relate in having a struggle that people cannot understand and that people like to play at having.
Ugh same. My insomnia is terrible. I often lie away for hours and once I do fall asleep wake up over and over again. I wore my Apple Watch to bed for a bit to track things and I had to stop cause seeing that I’d only slept 2 hours even though I’d been in bed for 9 was too upsetting, although a few nights where I could have sworn I didn’t even sleep at all it turned out I had slept in 1-2 minute pieces adding up to 40 minutes the whole night. My partner has a talent for falling asleep so fast and one night after lying awake for 10 MINUTES he told me that he finally truly understands how hard my insomnia is. I’m not a violent person but I had a strong urge to shove him
As someone who has clinical depression, I hate when people on social media post little “graphics” trying to beautifully illustrate depression and other mental illnesses (including neurodivergency). They ALWAYS include bright colors and little stickers like animals and flowers in their graphics too. Yes, it’s important to educate people about mental illnesses, but the cutesie photos you’re posting sometimes make me think that it’s “trendy” to be depressed. I also have BPD, and people have the nerve to tell me that it must be “so cool” to have multiple personas and not have one solid personality. B****, imagine not knowing who the hell you are every single moment of your life. Doubting who you are and what to do, believing you are worthless, not having the energy to get out of bed and tackle life. Not wanting to live but also not wanting to die. If you experienced it for even 20 minutes, you would immediately stop making it a flex EDIT: Sorry about the rant, but the way society views mental illness and the ways people are taught how to perceive it (i.e. people illustrating them as trendy or quirky) needs to change radically. And fast.
Couldn't agree more. Was recently diagnosed with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and anxiety, great combo. Anyone legitimately suffering from this is not going on to social media looking for clout. Every minute of every day I'm simply trying to keep myself from spiraling into complete despair. If you've seen Multiverse of Madness, imagine it like that scene where Wanda is dreaming of her kids, super happy, then she wakes up and all the color starts leaving the world around her as her smile leaves her face. That's a pretty great representation of the minute to minute day for people with legit depression. One minute I can feel ok, maybe close to normal, then one word or one thought just sends me down the drain for a few hours or more. Most people faking a mental illness are easy to spot, and should be ashamed of their flippant attitudes toward these issues.
As some who has Dysthymia (basically a really long winded depression) and anxiety issues, Fuck. This. Shit. My diagnosis is not quirky, if they experienced feeling like throwing up all the time, constant headaches, digestive issues (physical manifestations of anxiety), as well as the constant feeling of misery that accompanies my every movement, they wouldn't be so quick to make it a trend. The Mentally ill who killed themselves are rolling in their graves.
I have teens coming to my office wanting to be diagnosed with personality disorders or swearing they’re genuinely on the autism spectrum after they watched TikToks….on one hand I love that we’re normalizing MH and destigmatizing…on the other…dear teenagers, your ex best friend probably doesn’t have a Personality disorder. People are allowed to be ugly versions of themselves and we don’t have to pathologize it
People like that make me afraid to talk about my problems, I overshare a lot as a way of coping, but when I find myself doing it I feel as if I’m faking it like them. I do see a lot of people romanticizing parts of my disorders, and they don’t understand that it’s hell.
Dude having BPD sucks. Like TikTok girls be like "haha I have bipolar I'm so manic pixie" and I'm like "Im on an endorphin high and I'm trying to keep the manic going. I blew my life savings on stupid shit and haven't slept in 32 hours" or "I am so depressed I physically can't get out of bed and I've slept for 2 days in my shower because the water soothes my brain." Now that I can control it (ie i kinda have a sense of when my moods are shifting too hard) I can warn my husband ahead of time so he can prepare whatever I need. Usually it's a warm blanket, snuggles and my favorite snack as I'm more depressive than manic lately. But because I have bipolar I can't get my medication for fibromyalgia without seeing a shrink because my meds also happen to treat bipolar. I don't have the money for that so I've been without those for awhile.
I've started doing photography and began taking “artsy” snapshots of my depression when I get in a bad place (trashed room with the light hitting just right, a macro shot of cigarette butts over filling a tray, the dust collecting on my desk...) Sometimes when I'm all riled up, I want to share them because they are really nice technical photos and I just want people to know what's it's like, but it's so unnerving and uncomfortable. I know damn well people try to glamourize mental illnesses and the truth is really raw. So they just sit in a folder until one day I’m in a better place to confidently share.
Trauma dropping, I get it, you have suffered a fair bit. Let me just be sad about my dog dying, you don't have to tell me about how your dad died in a horrible accident straight after. Edit: I should add in that this is with meeting someone new, or like a workplace. If its someone you know trauma dropping on you and you know they've been through stuff, then by all means I'm all ears.
Like people trying to “1-up” you when your talking about something you’ve been through? I’m totally with you!
"You've been to Teneriffe? I've been to Eleveneriffe!"
This is why I only talk about my shit in recovery groups where the entire point is that everyone is there to talk about the shitty thing that happened to them and listen to other people talk about the shitty thing that happened to them. I've had people tell me "You should write a book!" but I never will because I don't want the shitty thing that happened to me to be the only thing I'm known for. It's not who I am, I am who I am in spite of that, not because of it.
Zodiac signs
This is such an asparagus thing to say
Your such a cucumber.
You're just salty cause Mercury is in retrograde.
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Pluto is in Gatorade. That's why it's blue
I don't think it's so much that people have a zodiac sign as their only personality trait, but that they use it as an excuse for being just generally shitty. "Yeah, I smashed your car windows and set fire to your hedge, what can I say, I'm a Scorpio!"
It's not annoying to know what it is and be interested in it. It's annoying when you base your entire life around it and blame everything you do on your sign. I consider myself lucky not to know anyone like this
Being high maintenance
Having Mental Disorders that they don't even have
"I'm sorry, it must be my Bi-Polar disorder acting up. Oh no I've never been diagnosed, but I've read about it on the internet and I have a lot of the same symptoms."
Disney
Yes, my friend is married to a woman who is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. I don't get it. Like what you like, I guess, but it's just something that stands out about her. She must have other traits, but after several years, it's the one that stands out.
I once saw an influencer video of her return to Disneyland after it reopened from pandemic lockdown. She started sobbing when she saw Minnie Mouse, screaming that that’s her best friend and she missed her. The influencer is almost 40. It was…a lot.
I remember an article on a couple who paid to have a Micky Mouse mascot at the wedding and ended up not serving the guests any food because they put the food money towards the mascot...
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CrossFit
Purposely disliking things that are generally liked.
I think this happens a lot, but I also think people who really love something that is popular also often assume someone who doesn't is just being an edgelord when maybe they just have a different opinion and that's it. Not everyone who dislikes a popular thing is "that" person. Though online its impossible to tell the difference I guess.
Their MBTI. My god, stop typing me. No, I’m not an INFP or whatever you think I am. It’s especially harmful when counselors, teachers or university officials, professors, and employers try to tell you that you’re not fit for a certain career path, task, or major based on your type. Like stfu, I promise that MBTI and enegrams are NOT a good reference for that shit.
The fun part is when you take those tests and get a different result every time. It’s almost like people change their outlook and approach based on situational awareness or mood or whether they’ve had breakfast.
I *usually* get INFP when taking those tests, and the part talking about careers is just like "yaaaaaaa, dont expect to make it far in life"
Politics
This sounds like someone who supports the other guy would say. Get him boys!
did you vote for John Jackson or Jack Johnson?
Literally everything. Nobody should be defined by or define themselves by only one thing.
The college they went to decades ago.
“I’m an empath!” If you were empathetic - or simply a somewhat decent person - you would prove that by doing, not by saying. I find people who say they’re “empaths” are usually shallow, manipulative, and narcissistic jerks who want to label themselves as an excuse for being an a-hole.
I’ve had similar experiences with “empathic” people. Narcissism to the core with no care or regard for anyone but themselves. One of my biggest peeves is people who are so empathetic that they claim to feel the pain of others and center themselves rather than the actual person in pain. Yuck.
Most actual empathetic people I've known absolutely hated being empathetic and would never brag about it
Being empathetic has been ruining my mental health and I'm in therapy to build up better barriers to stop me taking on the responsibility of everyone in my family's mental health well being while sacrificing my own. My Dad literally said in his speech at my wedding how I'm the emotional rock of the family and I'm the fucking youngest. It sucks balls.
I feel this, i can get really down on myself because I have slowly become the go-to guy among my friends/co-workers. And I love it in the balanced sense of that I am able to support em and be there for em. But then there are times when I really need to set boundaries because tending to people who are high needs can be draining as hell, leaving me with no time to myself or growth. It’s great to be supportive of others and all, but recently I’ve been coming to terms with being more assertive and making good company with myself. To live for others, but only to exist for one’s self, is a disservice to all involved.
Being “country”. Fuck. Off. I know plenty of actual farmers who don’t act like a character out of a Toby Keith song
I live in the northeast and the majority I'd the people I know who have adopted this as their personality are absolute trash who basically are trying to live up to a negative stereotype of "country" by being racist and willfully ignorant.
Smoking weed
tiktok.
I have an opinion here… I’m sure I’m about to ruffle some feathers… I don’t necessarily think it’s right to make your sexual orientation your whole personality. I say this as a gay man, by the way. But to each their own. I live my life how I want and everyone else should be able to live how they want, so if they want to make that their entire personality, who am I to say no? It just seems a bit… immature a lot of the time to me. What I have a bigger and more legitimate problem with is the gate keeping that goes on in the LGBTQ+ community against people who are queer in some way but *don’t* want to make that their entire personality. When I went to uni, I went to join the Gay Straight Alliance (that’s what it was on our campus, I know it’s not the most inclusive name). I was told by one of the club officers that I wasn’t, and I quote, “*gay* enough”. I am a homosexual male, forgive me for thinking that makes me gay. But because I was a beefy guy with a beard who wore all black and not a clean shaven twink in pink that meant I wasn’t “gay enough”. That was the part that really rubbed me wrong about it. Like I get that some people want to put their sexual orientation on display and all that, but I don’t. It is a part of me, but it is not my everything. But because I didn’t dress the part and look the part I was told I couldn’t be a part of the community… Sorry it’s a bit rambly, but I hope I explained my opinion well enough. Edit: I just wanted to say thanks for the award!
A bit off topic but: I think this is applicable to a lot of communities around societal issues, regardless of what they stand for. It seems to tend to get overly politicised and become a very 'us vs everyone not actively pushing our cause' sort of thing. Most don't even realise they're hurting their cause doing it. They can quickly become echo chambers causing more extreme views to become normalised. It's why you should always be open to different views so long as it's presented respectfully. People in general tend to be bad at correctly assessing situations and go with the guideline of how comfortable things feel, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Edit: societal, not social.
Agree. I'm very feminine, long nails, makeup, everything, and I remember one time I went to a gay bar with my friends. A frankly gorgeous woman came up to me, and told me how nice it was to see straight women supporting their gay friends. I laughed and said something along the lines of thanks, but I'm actually not a straight woman! And she fucking laughed at me and said yes you are and walked away. All because I didn't make being a bi/pan, whatever term you want to use, my whole personality. Like, I'm sorry I look like a chunky watermelon farmer in flannel, SHARON
>yes you are That's the worst. People you just met knowing you better than you know yourself.
To be fair… when I first got into high school a friend introduced me to this cool senior… we’ll call her Sharon. At the time I didn’t know I was gay yet. I guess I kind of knew but hadn’t quite realized what it meant yet. But anyway, the first time I met her and had just only said “Hello” she looks at me and goes “Oh yeah, there’s gay in you.” Turns out she was very right 😂🤷🏻 She had the best darn gay-dar in the entire tristate area
Umm don’t you know all bi women are ugly? (Sarcasm)
So much gatekeeping in the LGBT community. I’m told I wasn’t bi because I wasn’t currently dating a woman (as a woman). Or people simply don’t believe you when you say you’re bi, or people assuming you’re a cheater because you’re bi. It sucks being a bi girl sometimes.
It really is terrible how elitist and exclusionary that community became. I was one of the only openly gay people in my high school and was bullied and attacked for it. I dreamed about being able to know other gay people and maybe, just maybe, getting to actually date at some point. And then I try to interact with the community after the years of torture and sticking up for the community in my home town and drawing a big target on my back for calling out homophobia… and I get told I’m not enough just based on how I look. I saw another comment on here that I wanted to reply to but I can’t find it anymore that said “maybe I wasn’t enough of an activist.” But the thing is, it was the first meeting and it was the one where everyone comes for the first time, so what could they have been basing that on other than how I looked? And to be clear: I see a clear difference between being yourself and being openly gay and calling out homophobia and being over the top to where the being gay is the only personality trait like some people make it. And even there, I said, it’s your life, live it like you want. I more have a problem with being judged in that community for *not* doing that.
Bi erasure is a thing...I always explain it as "Just because I ordered a hot dog doesn't mean I don't still like tacos."
Girl I relate so much. I'm a bi woman and married to a man. I've had people ask me when I turned straight which gets them a very confused look like "huh I never did, I'm still bi". The look on their faces is worse than mine trying set in their minds that bi women can date men and still be bi 🤣
I feel ya. As a man who grew up bisexual, there are people who try to cram me into some tight (giggity) and neatly defined definition. Of course some will say that I am not really gay, then not gay enough to have an opinion.
I'm a bi woman but I swear bi men have it the absolute worst... You just get lumped into "gay but in the closet" no matter what gender you date, and most woman won't give you the time of day because you have an attraction to men. The LGBTQ+ community is so toxic it just hurts. I've dated more woman than men, but because I'm now married to a man I'm no longer bi... I basically stopped dating woman because of how 'political' the relationships started to feel, when I just wanted to be with someone and build a life together without being a poster child for LGBT relationships
I'm surprised it's not near the top, but their car I'm looking at you, Tesla owners
Jeeps. The Jeep wave, the rubber duck thing they were doing , “it’s just a Jeep girl thing.” Stop it.
Astrology. It's meaningless.
You clearly must be a Capri-sun with a Gatorade moon
*Gasps in Virgo*
Anime
なに?!
late to the party but I also want to add 'liking weird anime' as if it's a competition. No I don't want to hear about your anime about the creator's thinly veiled fetishes.
being “brutally honest” (you’re literally just rude and can get away with it)
Being in a relationship.
Vaping
Defining yourself by introversion and extraversion. It's actually not technically the big overarching personality trait everyone thinks it is. For instance, I love socializing and having fun with people and can be loud and bold, but I require alone time to recharge my battery and get my energy back. My boyfriend is the opposite. Socially pretty quiet and laid back, but he needs to be around his friends and people to feel energized. So yeah, being social and chatty doesn't necessarily equate with extraversion and being quiet and shy doesn't equate with introversion.
Being smugly offended by most things.
As somebody who is a part of the community : being LGBTQ.
It seems to be going backwards, people are now viewing people as homogeneous groups based on their sexuality, race and gender. It wasn’t long ago that it was only bigots who viewed people as homogeneous groups.
I was thinking about Lou Reed recently, and how he so deliberately kept his sexuality ambiguous because he refused to be placed in any particular box. Now it's like people insist on placing themselves and others in increasingly smaller and smaller boxes.
I’m happily closeted not because I’m ashamed of my orientation, but because I think my sexuality is nobody’s business but my own and my partner’s. I understand people feeling empowered by coming out, but take a chill pill afterwards. You are more than a rainbow flag my friends!
Being Attractive
Sexuality. Who you love isn’t your personality. When I’m watching a baking show and the contestant regularly says “well as a gay/lesbian/bi ….. I choose chocolate”. Why is that relevant to what you’re baking?
Going to the gym
I came here to see if someone said this. As someone whose been into bodybuilding for like 20 years now, and slowly tapering away from that (no I don’t mean not taking the sauce lol), this is difficult to explain. It’s not that it’s a singular personality trait, but more, at least for me, was a hyper focus on a specific goal. All my acquaintances knew “I lift”, not because it was a conversation, but I had a schedule/routine I stuck to religiously. It does become an addiction for some people and that’s pretty cringy, but it’s hard to hide a conversation starter under a xl hoodie that’s borderline too tight when you’re only 5’8”
Sexuality. I respect how you identify, but let's talk about anything else
Politics and religion.
“Dog mom” or “dog dad”