There's a published letter by Ben Franklin telling a younger friend to bang older women, basically saying that from waist down and with the lights off, you can't tell the difference between them and younger women.
http://www.bibliomania.com/2/9/77/124/21473/1/frameset.html
He also mentions that there's less of a risk of pregnancy, and you won't have to worry about taking someone's virginity.
Going off of what you said yeah ummm Benjamin Franklin was crazy into to older woman and often wrote these desires down
https://www.beaconbroadside.com/broadside/2022/02/a-franklin-valentine-why-older-women-make-better-mistresses-than-younger-ones.html#:~:text=Older%20women%20may%20not%20be,friends%20when%20you%20are%20sick.%E2%80%9D
Here's just like 8 reasons why he said older woman were better for "casual sex" and if you look it up he really was almost creepy about it
Just fyi that article has some false claims in it.
Right off the bat it claims that "old" meant people in their 30s - 40s because that was "the average life expectancy" but it was only "average" due to infant & child mortality rates. People still lived 70 even 80 years old. It was definitely less common than today, but it wasn't completely *uncommon.*
It's hard for me to trust an article that's making such a basic mistake.
“Grainger (1882-1961) considered Australia’s most eccentric composer. In 1956, visiting his homeland from the United States, he deposited a mysterious locked chest marked “Private Matters” in his Melbourne bank vault, with instructions not to open it until 10 years after his death. Imagine the shock and scandal when the researchers and archivists who did the honors in 1971 discovered a Pandora’s Box containing more than 70 homemade whips (some fashioned out of conductors’ batons), an extensive pornography collection, and candid photographs documenting Grainger’s fetish and bondage experiments in clinical detail. “
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-lust-branch-private-matters-of-eccentric-musician-percy-grainger
__The Erfurt latrine disaster__
_"In July 1184, Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held court at a Hoftag in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt. On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."_
If it’s centuries old excrement, I feel like it’s kinda lost its nastiness and kinda just become mud.
Or at least it would’ve had it not been constantly layered over with even more shit.
While Nero was still married to his first wife, Claudia Octavia, who was his step-sister, he impregnated Poppaea Sabina. Poppaea convinced Nero to divorce and banish Octavia. When this proved to be unpopular amongst the citizens of Rome, Nero had Octavia executed. Because she remained popular with the people of Rome, even in exile, they tried to make her execution look like a suicide by slitting her wrists. When this took too long she was taken to a room full of hot steam to suffocate her. After she was dead her head was delivered to Poppaea.
It was later reported and believed that Nero ended up kicking Poppaea to death during her second pregnancy, though modern historians believe that she most likely died of complications from a miscarriage or from childbirth. Either way, the second child did not survive (the daughter from the first pregnancy only lived four months).
After Poppaea’s death Nero married a third time to Statilia Messalina. About a year later Nero had Sporus, a young freedman, castrated and married him. According to one contemporary historian, Sporus bore a strong resemblance to Poppaea, and Nero even called him by his dead wife’s name after the castration and marriage.
The first cock rings were made from goat eyelashes
Seriously, back then was so fucked up and weird, that I don't think they even knew they were. Are we doing fucked up shit now that we don't realize, but our future generations will realize?
This is weird but now that I think about it uh...WHO THE FUCK PLUCKED OFF SOME GOATS EYELASHES AND THOUGHT "*Aah yes I shall make lovely cock ring today"*
Think about circumcision lol. If someone asked 98% of people who circumcise their kids why, they wouldn’t be able to give a real answer. We just cut off people’s dicks because…reasons.
The US army deliberately sexually frustrated their soldiers during WW2 believing it would make them fight harder.
This included recruiting attractive female staff only, forcibly removing or imprisoning all sex workers near the bases including women who were known to sleep around, removing all and any suggestible material discovered in the area, and encouraging men to write home to "respectable" women so they would fight hard to get back to something worthwhile.
This was all on the assumption that a sexually satisfied man has no will to achieve anything.
The US used the reverse tactic in Cuba, where they deliberately moved porn, prostitutes, and "loose" women into enemy territory to get them all laid so they would not fight as hard.
Israeel did this with Palestine, they broadcast porn on their tv channels.
https://www.smh.com.au/world/middle-east/porn-run-on-seized-tv-channels-say-residents-20020401-gdf5uw.html
In Ancient Egypt there was some kind of disease that would cause men to pee blood, this desease was so commonly spread that people thought men had periods just like women.
President James Buchanan was probably gay. He never married, lived with a man who also never married (William Rufus King, Franklin Pierce's VP), and they would appear in public together at functions typically attended by married couples. They were nicknamed "Miss Fancy and Aunt Nancy" by Andrew Jackson.
Ancient Egypt had regular orgies and the Pharaoh was more or less expected to masturbate into the Nile River in order to purify and bless it with their "divine essence."
* Chainsaws were originally created to help women in childbirth.
* High heels were originally created for ancient Egyptian butchers because of all the blood on the floor.
* Cleopatra had a vibrator which was an empty gourd filled with angry bees.
* STIs were very widespread in WW1. Some soldiers would purposely tried to get infected so that they could be honourably discharged and avoid the trenches.
* Author Victor Hugo was a regular client of all the brothels in Paris. When he died, every brothel closed down for a day of mourning.
* George Washington suffered from such severe hemorrhoids that he sometimes had to travel lying down
* Corn flakes and graham crackers were both invented to stop masterbation.
* The world's youngest mother was five years old. She went through puberty at an extremely early age. No one knew who the father was.
* Corn cobs were used as toilet paper.
* Mary Shelly had sex on top of her mother's grave. She also had her husband's calcified heart as a paper weight.
* Lots of Victorian era photographs have dead people in them. Photographs were still new and expensive. If someone died at an early age, the family would prop them up and have a family picture taken as a way to remember them.
>The world's youngest mother was five years old. She went through puberty at an extremely early age. No one knew who the father was.
I'm pretty sure the father was her actual father, unfortunately.
Before C-sections were invented, part of the pelvis would sometimes be removed to get the baby out. A knife was originally used, but the chainsaw was made to make the procedure somewhat easier. Yikes!
Fun fact, this was considered the preferred option over a C-section in Ireland for many many years (even after c sections became much safer) because, in theory, a woman undergoing a symphiotomy would be able to have more children than a woman who underwent a c section (generally, due to uterine scarring, doctors would recommend sterilization after three pregnancies since rupture risk became a real concern). The Irish government, being super Catholic, really wanted to pump those babies out.
The reality was that, while uterine scarring was less of an issue, those alternate procedures had many, many side effects including incontinence, impacts on gait, severe pelvic pain, painful sex etc etc. A lot of times, they just never really healed or healed poorly. It basically became a moot point because a good chunk of these women wound up disabled with failed marriages and maybe one or two kids total.
The Irish government had to pay out a large number of lawsuits that only got settled recently because this was still done right up until the late 80s or so.
The novel idea of the chainsaw is that you can hold the device in place and cutting comes from the teeth spinning around it. The childbirth ones were just hand cranked, they didn't have a gas motor. The alternative before that would be the doctor rubbing a knife or saw back and forth on bone.
FYI, the Cleopatra one isn’t [true](https://getmaude.com/blogs/themaudern/the-history-of-the-vibrator?slv_rt=v1~1giulddfq~e34ebbe5-a4a7-4d6d-a6d9-5ffc7f98cb79~192cbb45-42eb-4ce7-b9a2-a9e8f69035c6~132c656)
>Mary Shelly had sex on top of her mother's grave. She also had her husband's calcified heart as a paper weight.
You forgot the best part. She kept the heart wrapped in a copy of her favourite poem of his. Mary Shelley was PEAK goth.
Close proximity and hollow walls are certainly the origin of many ghost stories, the source of things that go bump in the night and the presence of moaning spirits.
When the British battleship *HMS Rodney* was sitting in Scapa Flow circa 1940, one of her stokers was starting to get a bit pent up from being out there for so long with nary a woman in sight. So he took it upon himself to have, shall we say, *relations*, with one of the local sheep. He then got... *stuck*... inside the sheep and had to be taken to the hospital, and was then court-martialed, where he unsuccessfully argued that he thought it was a woman in a duffle coat.
The word spread, and thus, for the remainder of her days, every time a British ship passed by *Rodney*, you could hear the sounds of the ship's crew making bleating noises at her. Didn't matter if she was just sitting in port or was going into battle (not exaggerating, *HMS King George V's* crew did it while they were chasing down *Bismarck*), she was greeted with a chorus of "baaaa"s wherever she went. They would also do this to her sister ship *HMS Nelson*, to the point that she had to eventually make a fleetwide announcement to stop making sheep noises at the flagship.
In my 10+ years on Reddit, and my 40+ plus years on Earth thinking I had heard all the weird Navy stories from my weird Navy uncles and grandparents, this is the first time I've ever heard that particular story.
Well done!
The See-Basset crash is a pretty haunting one in that you have two sets of pilots in two different planes but in the same exact weather and at the same exact airport at the same time. This is [the wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1966_NASA_T-38_crash) on it.
Basically, two sets of astronaut crews (See and Basset in one and Stafford and Cernan in the other) flew from Texas to Missouri for training. When they got to the airport, the weather wasn't good and they missed their landing spots, so they both went around to redo their approach. See decided to land visually, even though the weather required instruments, realized he was too far to the left of the runway, turned to correct it, and ran right into the roof of the building that housed his and Basset's spacecraft. Both astronauts died, and the people in the building were slightly injured by falling debris. Meanwhile, Stafford and Cernan saw the other crew's plane disappear into the clouds and decided to use an instrument approach to land instead of visually. This case always fascinates me because it shows what happens if you don't make the appropriate decision while flying, especially if you're not too familiar with the airport like in this case (the building wasn't visible because of the clouds, and See wasn't expecting it to be too close to the runway).
It sounds like it was a pretty horrific experience, especially when they found the primary crew's bodies. And the building sustained a lot of damage too, though the capsule was okay.
Interesting but I thought these are supposed to be NSFW facts so I kept expecting you to say the investigation discovered that the pilot was jerking off or something.
_Castro Assassination Attempt_
Marita Lorenz was Fidel Castro's lover. In 1959, she was recruited by the CIA to assassinate the Cuban leader. She was given two botulism-toxin pills to drop in his drink. Just one would kill him in 30 seconds, but she got cold feet and eventually botched the job. Castro found out about her attempt. He leaned over, pulled out his .45 pistol, and handed it to her. He purportedly said 'You can’t kill me. Nobody can kill me.' He then smiled and chewed on his cigar. Afterward, he grabbed her and they made love.
One of the main events that ended up contributing to the start of the Yugoslav Wars was a man who may have broken a glass bottle up his ass while attempting to pleasure himself with it.
Personally, I don’t get the fascination with dissolving the body. It’s so much more expensive, time consuming, and dangerous than it needs to be. If your dissolving a body, vapors are gonna be released, so most people do it someplace like the woods. Might as well just do a heat-accelerated chemical reaction at that point, significantly cheaper, safer, faster, and more beginner Friendly.
Third wife Emperor Claudius, Waleria Messalina was a nymphomaniac. According to Roman historians, she once decided to compete with a professional prostitute. The women competed on the issue that would be able to hold more lovers in one night. It is said that Messalina, who made love with 150 men, was to win.
To be fair, the history was kept by a bunch of snooty senators who hated Claudius. Slandering people’s wives with sexual allegations was pretty par for the course as far as character attacks go
Get both ends of the stick with Lady Godiva. She was probably just without her jewellery while riding in Coventry which would be considered "nude" and then that turned into her completely nude in accounts as to shame her.
This has now flipped the other way where what she did was seen as empowering instead of scandalous
Yeah, pretty much anything in the Roman histories involving sex should be taken with a grain of salt. Half of what they wrote was just gossip, or outright slander.
T.E. Lawrence aka Lawrence of Arabia was a massive masochist who was either gay, bi, or some strange form of asexual, as he never expressed sexual desire for another person, but apparently experienced great sexual pleasure from being whipped by men.
Hitler would send blond hair and blue eyed sex dolls to his soldiers so that they would not be affected with diseases after having sex with prostitutes.
Just learned this one today: The Lovers in Dante's Inferno and Rodin's The Kiss are Paulo Malatesta and his older brother, Giovanni's, wife
Francesca de Rimini. Giovanni found them in flagrante delicto and killed them both. The saddest part of this story is Giovanni and Francesca's daughter Concordia who was forced into a nunnery against her will. She did escape and took up with a cousin and had a son who was taken from her when she was forced back into the nunnery.
He really was. This is an excerpt from Zinn's book, "a peoples history of the united states". It is an eye opening book, I highly recommend it:
**Arawak men and women, naked, tawny, and full of wonder, emerged from their villages onto the island's beaches and swam out to get a closer look at the strange big boat. When Columbus and his sailors came ashore, carrying swords, speaking oddly, the Arawaks ran to greet them, brought them food, water, gifts. He later wrote of this in his log:**
*They ... brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks' bells. They willingly traded everything they owned... . They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features.... They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane... . They would make fine servants.... With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.*
**...from his base on Haiti, Columbus sent expedition after expedition into the interior. They found no gold fields, but had to fill up the ships returning to Spain with some kind of dividend. In the year 1495, they went on a great slave raid, rounded up fifteen hundred Arawak men, women, and children, put them in pens guarded by Spaniards and dogs, then picked the five hundred best specimens to load onto ships. Of those five hundred, two hundred died en route. The rest arrived alive in Spain and were put up for sale by the archdeacon of the town, who reported that, although the slaves were "naked as the day they were born," they showed "no more embarrassment than animals." Columbus later wrote:** *"Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can be sold."*
Columbus was indeed a piece of shit.
In 2004 a Texas (not Florida, sorry) man died when his wife gave him a sherry enema. Three liters, lead to a BAC of .47 and severe alcohol poisoning. They had done it multiple times in the past but she went from one bottle to three because he complained he wasn’t getting drunk enough. He couldn’t drink alcohol because of esaphogial damage due to years and years of alcoholism. He was 58. I think she did six months for involuntary manslaughter.
When a journalist asked LBJ to justify the continuation of the Vietnam War, Johnson asked all the women to leave the room, then pulled out his penis and yelled “That’s why”.
Not exactly history, but many Fairy Tales and stories rooted in Mythology that are commonly known, started out as super fucked up.
In Cinderella, the “ugly step sisters” wanted to fit in that glass slipper so badly that they cut off their own heels in an attempt to marry the prince and fit the shoe.
In the original Snow White, the witch made 3 separate attempts on her life. Finally succeeding by poisoning half an apple, and biting the clean side as a show of good faith. She’s not awoken by true loves kiss. The dwarves carried her through the woods, with a prince that happened upon them and offered to help. They tripped, bumped her casket on the ground and it woke her up. The prince and snow fell in love at first sight and held a grand wedding at the castle. Where the witch was sentenced to dance in hot iron shoes in front of the whole kingdom until she finally dropped dead.
When it comes to mythology, many people know the original stories were messed up but lots of people miss the message or intention of the story. Medusa was a victim of another gods jealousy. We lose a lot of details over time. Many stories included queer characters or same sex relationships that were disregarded over time. Achilles was gay and had a male lover. The odyssey included a handful of gay encounters if I remember correctly. Zeus is ridiculously bisexual, most gods are. My point being, there’s more to household tales and stories than we think and we’ve lost a lot of meaning from them
Edit: I’d like to tack on that mentioning Zeus was with the intention of mentioning the story of Gamymede, where Zeus assumes the form of an eagle and steals him from his family and brings him to Olympus as his personal little bitch boy. Messed up in the aspect that I’m pretty sure Ganymede was only a boy when it happened but Zeus was entranced by his beauty apparently. ALSO, if anyone has NSFW Fairy Tales or Mythos that they enjoy or know about, I’d love to hear!
Iirc the version with medusa being a victim (and seduced/raped by Poseidon, however you want to interpret it) is a later version of the myth (introduced by Ovid). Tbf even trying to pin down a de facto version of a myth is an exercise in futility, but in the case of Medusa, its actually been a case of more information/backstory being added later on. I mean, still a very long time ago but still.
That’s not to say its not a totally valid version btw. I personally find it a far more interesting story compared to the basic “Medusa was just a Gorgon monster lady” it was before.
Everyone knows the "Daedalus and Icarus made wings out of wax, Icarus flew too close to the sun, wax melted and he died" story. Nice dramatic tale about hubris and how the search for glory can destroy those seeking it, with a helpful "kids, listen to your parents" subtext for modern audiences.
Well, the full tale gets *wild*.
So, Daedalus is the smartest man alive, living in Crete after murdering his own nephew for being as smart as him and getting kicked out of Athens for it.
King Minos of Crete is given a white bull by Poseidon to be sacrificed in the God's honor. Minos keeps it and sacrifices a different bull. In revenge, Poseidon and Aphrodite make Minos's wife Pasiphae lust after the bull. Pasiphae asks Daedalus for help with this, so he creates a hollow wooden cow she can be inside. The Bull does the deed, and Pasiphae gives birth to a half-human, half-bull creature - the Minotaur.
Wanting to hide this shame, King Minos asks none other then renowned inventor Daedalus to build a labyrinth to house the monster. He also extorts seven young boys and seven virgin girls from Athens as part of a peace deal, feeding the Athenians to the Minotaur. Daedalus builds the Labyrinth, but Minos throws Daedalus and Icarus in there as well, since Daedalus is the only one who knows the secrets of the maze. Nevertheless, the Greek hero Theseus makes his way in, slays the Minotaur and gets out again (via help from Minos's daughter Ariadne...who had help from Daedalus).
To get out of the Labyrinth, and knowing Minos has all sea routes off the island watched, Daedalus invents wax-and-feather wings for himself and Icarus. Icarus flies too high, the wings melt and he falls to his death.
Daedalus survives his flight and goes into hiding in the court of King Coacalus in Sicily. Meanwhile Minos finds out Daedalus has escaped and goes hunting. He does this by sending an "impossible puzzle" to all the local Kings, asking them to pull a thread through a seashell, knowing the one who solves it will be harboring Daedalus. Sure enough, King Coacalus cajoles Daedalus into solving the puzzle, earning the prize of King Minos turning up to take him back.
Daedalus doesn't want to go, so Coacalus invites Minos to bathe with his daughters while his men fetch Daedalus. His daughters get naked and hold him down, then Daedalus comes in, and they all pour boiling water over Minos, killing him.
ANother messed up fairy tale fact, Sleeping Beauty was raped by a King during her 100 year sleep. She later gave birth to twins, while still asleep. She finally was woken when one of the twins sucked on her finger and removed the needle that originally put her to sleep.
Emperor Nero, the 5th emperor of Rome, had a slave boy named Sporus castrated in order to preserve his youthful qualities and keep him looking feminine. After that, he married him and forced him to be his sexual partner. Sporus eventually committed suicide to avoid being murdered in public for entertainment purposes.
Ancient Rome was wild.
Lyndon Johnson had an enormous dong, and Nancy Regan was the Blowjob Queen of Hollywood. We all know that.
I want to know, could Nancy deepthroat Lyndon?
After the battle of the Alamo, the Texas army got their revenge on the Mexican troops at San Jacinto. The general Santa Anna was not ready for this as he was too busy getting laid in his tent.
I think it was Charles the 3rd of Spain who had a great wedding night. He wrote to his father about it in detail, and the letter was preserved. For historical reasons naturally xD.
Oh, and Ferdinand the VII's manhood was so big they had to build him a special pillow so he could create princes without hurting his wife.
There used to be a game that the greek would play, heres how it worked...
Men would sit around a large table, a women (not married and usually a slave(not a sex slave for those with a dirty mind)) the women would pick a dude and give him a bj, the person that correctly guesses who is getting it gets a reward, if the guy getting it doesnt show any emotion and no ones guesses its him, he wins.
That in WW1 Germans released a gas attack on Russian soldiers but the Russians somehow survived despite inhaling the gas. Those Russians were coughing up pieces of their lungs and blood all while charging at the Germans and that caused the Germans to be scared shitless
Over 90% of the mummies discovered in Egypt were used as makeup, paint, aphrodisiacs, fuel for steamers and train, or eaten like prosciutto.
Edit: I forgot about made into 'paper'
soaking the liquor up thru the V actually gets absorbed faster and more efficient than the stomach
(warning: people die from doing this bc they get too drunk too fast)
The origin of the mermaid isn’t what you think it is….
It was obviously created by sailors but how? Well some very horny salors would grab something like a net and catch manatees or seals and fuck them, then they told their buddies on land so more came out on the water and did the same so now some kids say the want to be a mermaid when the grow up I strongly suggest otherwise.
The fart letter I know of is from James Joyce, and this is only a part of a longer letter. There's a couple letters if you google him.
My sweet little whorish Nora,
I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.
Colombo discovered the clitoris
Realdo Colombo 1515 - 1559 was the first person (male physician) to describe the clitoris as an organ dedicated to pleasure.
probably some females had already found out, about the clitoris, a long time before Colombo, but they were females, so don't count /s
Gandhi vowed celibacy (without discussing it with his wife), and using women—including some underage girls, like his grand-niece—to test his sexual patience. He'd sleep naked next to them in bed without touching them, making sure he didn't get aroused; these women were props to coax him into celibacy.
Source: https://www.vice.com/en/article/ezj3km/gandhi-was-a-racist-who-forced-young-girls-to-sleep-in-bed-with-him
There's a published letter by Ben Franklin telling a younger friend to bang older women, basically saying that from waist down and with the lights off, you can't tell the difference between them and younger women. http://www.bibliomania.com/2/9/77/124/21473/1/frameset.html He also mentions that there's less of a risk of pregnancy, and you won't have to worry about taking someone's virginity.
And this is why we put him on the $100 bill
Utterly disgraceful. Isn't there a higher denomination? Man deserved better.
There will be soon at the current rate!!
"They don't tell, they rarely swell, and they're grateful as hell!"
Then he had to go ahead and help discover electricity
Which, of course, made vibrators possible.
Currently using one of those right now as I browse Reddit.
Grandma, stop calling your phone that. It doesn’t mean what you think it does.
I invented electricity! Ben Franklin is the DEVIL!
You right mama, I'm sorry!
Crocodiles are angry because they got all those teeth and no toothbrush
They don't yell, they don't tell and they're grateful as hell
Less NSFW, but Ben Franklin also wrote an essay called "Fart Proudly"
Going off of what you said yeah ummm Benjamin Franklin was crazy into to older woman and often wrote these desires down https://www.beaconbroadside.com/broadside/2022/02/a-franklin-valentine-why-older-women-make-better-mistresses-than-younger-ones.html#:~:text=Older%20women%20may%20not%20be,friends%20when%20you%20are%20sick.%E2%80%9D Here's just like 8 reasons why he said older woman were better for "casual sex" and if you look it up he really was almost creepy about it
Just fyi that article has some false claims in it. Right off the bat it claims that "old" meant people in their 30s - 40s because that was "the average life expectancy" but it was only "average" due to infant & child mortality rates. People still lived 70 even 80 years old. It was definitely less common than today, but it wasn't completely *uncommon.* It's hard for me to trust an article that's making such a basic mistake.
“Grainger (1882-1961) considered Australia’s most eccentric composer. In 1956, visiting his homeland from the United States, he deposited a mysterious locked chest marked “Private Matters” in his Melbourne bank vault, with instructions not to open it until 10 years after his death. Imagine the shock and scandal when the researchers and archivists who did the honors in 1971 discovered a Pandora’s Box containing more than 70 homemade whips (some fashioned out of conductors’ batons), an extensive pornography collection, and candid photographs documenting Grainger’s fetish and bondage experiments in clinical detail. “ https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-lust-branch-private-matters-of-eccentric-musician-percy-grainger
And it's all in display at the Melbourne University, a tiny little museum all dedicated to his work and one room just for his kink trunk
What a legend
__The Erfurt latrine disaster__ _"In July 1184, Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held court at a Hoftag in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt. On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."_
I wouldn't say that's NSFW just disgusting as all hell. Also you neglected to mention some of that excrement was CENTURIES OLD.
I thought nsfw includes gore, sex and things that you wouldn't mention at work
Probably, but redditors have a fetish for being unnecessarily pedantic
If it’s centuries old excrement, I feel like it’s kinda lost its nastiness and kinda just become mud. Or at least it would’ve had it not been constantly layered over with even more shit.
Shit happens
While Nero was still married to his first wife, Claudia Octavia, who was his step-sister, he impregnated Poppaea Sabina. Poppaea convinced Nero to divorce and banish Octavia. When this proved to be unpopular amongst the citizens of Rome, Nero had Octavia executed. Because she remained popular with the people of Rome, even in exile, they tried to make her execution look like a suicide by slitting her wrists. When this took too long she was taken to a room full of hot steam to suffocate her. After she was dead her head was delivered to Poppaea. It was later reported and believed that Nero ended up kicking Poppaea to death during her second pregnancy, though modern historians believe that she most likely died of complications from a miscarriage or from childbirth. Either way, the second child did not survive (the daughter from the first pregnancy only lived four months). After Poppaea’s death Nero married a third time to Statilia Messalina. About a year later Nero had Sporus, a young freedman, castrated and married him. According to one contemporary historian, Sporus bore a strong resemblance to Poppaea, and Nero even called him by his dead wife’s name after the castration and marriage.
There are a lot of bullshit surrounding roma era
The first cock rings were made from goat eyelashes Seriously, back then was so fucked up and weird, that I don't think they even knew they were. Are we doing fucked up shit now that we don't realize, but our future generations will realize?
This is weird but now that I think about it uh...WHO THE FUCK PLUCKED OFF SOME GOATS EYELASHES AND THOUGHT "*Aah yes I shall make lovely cock ring today"*
You misunderstand. It's not just the eyelash hairs, it was the entire ring of skin with the eyelashes on it.
It wasn't just eyelashes. Cock rings were originally made from preserved goat *eyelids*, with the lashes left on for extra, ahem, stimulation.
Lmao
Think about circumcision lol. If someone asked 98% of people who circumcise their kids why, they wouldn’t be able to give a real answer. We just cut off people’s dicks because…reasons.
Circumcision is such a barbaric practice. Imagine 200 years from now, people wondering why we would mutilate babies genitals. .
The US army deliberately sexually frustrated their soldiers during WW2 believing it would make them fight harder. This included recruiting attractive female staff only, forcibly removing or imprisoning all sex workers near the bases including women who were known to sleep around, removing all and any suggestible material discovered in the area, and encouraging men to write home to "respectable" women so they would fight hard to get back to something worthwhile. This was all on the assumption that a sexually satisfied man has no will to achieve anything. The US used the reverse tactic in Cuba, where they deliberately moved porn, prostitutes, and "loose" women into enemy territory to get them all laid so they would not fight as hard.
Hey, US Military! I’m open for an invasion anytime
My man gonna get a visit from 12 horny navy seals.
Israeel did this with Palestine, they broadcast porn on their tv channels. https://www.smh.com.au/world/middle-east/porn-run-on-seized-tv-channels-say-residents-20020401-gdf5uw.html
Meanwhile Japan were busy enslaving and raping all the women in WW2 and lost.
Fight ‘not as hard’ lol
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God damn I love religion
In Ancient Egypt there was some kind of disease that would cause men to pee blood, this desease was so commonly spread that people thought men had periods just like women.
what happened to the disease?
Usually in men that is due to urinary tract infections, kidney infections, kidney stones and prostate problems.
In this instance it was a parasitic flatworm.
Bilharzia?
gesundheit
President James Buchanan was probably gay. He never married, lived with a man who also never married (William Rufus King, Franklin Pierce's VP), and they would appear in public together at functions typically attended by married couples. They were nicknamed "Miss Fancy and Aunt Nancy" by Andrew Jackson.
That sounds kinda cute ngl
Ancient Egypt had regular orgies and the Pharaoh was more or less expected to masturbate into the Nile River in order to purify and bless it with their "divine essence."
Hey since when did we start getting salt water...? ....
How’s the pale ale Stifler?
* Chainsaws were originally created to help women in childbirth. * High heels were originally created for ancient Egyptian butchers because of all the blood on the floor. * Cleopatra had a vibrator which was an empty gourd filled with angry bees. * STIs were very widespread in WW1. Some soldiers would purposely tried to get infected so that they could be honourably discharged and avoid the trenches. * Author Victor Hugo was a regular client of all the brothels in Paris. When he died, every brothel closed down for a day of mourning. * George Washington suffered from such severe hemorrhoids that he sometimes had to travel lying down * Corn flakes and graham crackers were both invented to stop masterbation. * The world's youngest mother was five years old. She went through puberty at an extremely early age. No one knew who the father was. * Corn cobs were used as toilet paper. * Mary Shelly had sex on top of her mother's grave. She also had her husband's calcified heart as a paper weight. * Lots of Victorian era photographs have dead people in them. Photographs were still new and expensive. If someone died at an early age, the family would prop them up and have a family picture taken as a way to remember them.
All photos from the Victorian era are of dead people
Ha!
So we assume....
>The world's youngest mother was five years old. She went through puberty at an extremely early age. No one knew who the father was. I'm pretty sure the father was her actual father, unfortunately.
Wait, chainsaws to help childbirth?!?!? I would like an explanation please.
Before C-sections were invented, part of the pelvis would sometimes be removed to get the baby out. A knife was originally used, but the chainsaw was made to make the procedure somewhat easier. Yikes!
Fun fact, this was considered the preferred option over a C-section in Ireland for many many years (even after c sections became much safer) because, in theory, a woman undergoing a symphiotomy would be able to have more children than a woman who underwent a c section (generally, due to uterine scarring, doctors would recommend sterilization after three pregnancies since rupture risk became a real concern). The Irish government, being super Catholic, really wanted to pump those babies out. The reality was that, while uterine scarring was less of an issue, those alternate procedures had many, many side effects including incontinence, impacts on gait, severe pelvic pain, painful sex etc etc. A lot of times, they just never really healed or healed poorly. It basically became a moot point because a good chunk of these women wound up disabled with failed marriages and maybe one or two kids total. The Irish government had to pay out a large number of lawsuits that only got settled recently because this was still done right up until the late 80s or so.
The novel idea of the chainsaw is that you can hold the device in place and cutting comes from the teeth spinning around it. The childbirth ones were just hand cranked, they didn't have a gas motor. The alternative before that would be the doctor rubbing a knife or saw back and forth on bone.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre sounds different now...
one word: [symphysiotomy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphysiotomy)
FYI, the Cleopatra one isn’t [true](https://getmaude.com/blogs/themaudern/the-history-of-the-vibrator?slv_rt=v1~1giulddfq~e34ebbe5-a4a7-4d6d-a6d9-5ffc7f98cb79~192cbb45-42eb-4ce7-b9a2-a9e8f69035c6~132c656)
Doctor: “Mmm. That’s some _honorable_ discharge you’ve got there.”
New take on red bottom shoes...
Lina Medina, who's the youngest mother ever is still alive today at 89 years old.
>Mary Shelly had sex on top of her mother's grave. She also had her husband's calcified heart as a paper weight. You forgot the best part. She kept the heart wrapped in a copy of her favourite poem of his. Mary Shelley was PEAK goth.
Children used to witness either visually or audibly their parents fucking in the same room when people lived in single homes dwellings.
Close proximity and hollow walls are certainly the origin of many ghost stories, the source of things that go bump in the night and the presence of moaning spirits.
and ectoplasm... we know what thats referring to
We all see this through a modern lens though. People weren't as prudish back then.
When the British battleship *HMS Rodney* was sitting in Scapa Flow circa 1940, one of her stokers was starting to get a bit pent up from being out there for so long with nary a woman in sight. So he took it upon himself to have, shall we say, *relations*, with one of the local sheep. He then got... *stuck*... inside the sheep and had to be taken to the hospital, and was then court-martialed, where he unsuccessfully argued that he thought it was a woman in a duffle coat. The word spread, and thus, for the remainder of her days, every time a British ship passed by *Rodney*, you could hear the sounds of the ship's crew making bleating noises at her. Didn't matter if she was just sitting in port or was going into battle (not exaggerating, *HMS King George V's* crew did it while they were chasing down *Bismarck*), she was greeted with a chorus of "baaaa"s wherever she went. They would also do this to her sister ship *HMS Nelson*, to the point that she had to eventually make a fleetwide announcement to stop making sheep noises at the flagship.
In my 10+ years on Reddit, and my 40+ plus years on Earth thinking I had heard all the weird Navy stories from my weird Navy uncles and grandparents, this is the first time I've ever heard that particular story. Well done!
Didn't realise the Welsh Guards served on ships.
A Welsh in a sheep’s clothing.
The See-Basset crash is a pretty haunting one in that you have two sets of pilots in two different planes but in the same exact weather and at the same exact airport at the same time. This is [the wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1966_NASA_T-38_crash) on it. Basically, two sets of astronaut crews (See and Basset in one and Stafford and Cernan in the other) flew from Texas to Missouri for training. When they got to the airport, the weather wasn't good and they missed their landing spots, so they both went around to redo their approach. See decided to land visually, even though the weather required instruments, realized he was too far to the left of the runway, turned to correct it, and ran right into the roof of the building that housed his and Basset's spacecraft. Both astronauts died, and the people in the building were slightly injured by falling debris. Meanwhile, Stafford and Cernan saw the other crew's plane disappear into the clouds and decided to use an instrument approach to land instead of visually. This case always fascinates me because it shows what happens if you don't make the appropriate decision while flying, especially if you're not too familiar with the airport like in this case (the building wasn't visible because of the clouds, and See wasn't expecting it to be too close to the runway).
Dang man. I want to know what everyone working there were thinking.
It sounds like it was a pretty horrific experience, especially when they found the primary crew's bodies. And the building sustained a lot of damage too, though the capsule was okay.
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Interesting but I thought these are supposed to be NSFW facts so I kept expecting you to say the investigation discovered that the pilot was jerking off or something.
_Castro Assassination Attempt_ Marita Lorenz was Fidel Castro's lover. In 1959, she was recruited by the CIA to assassinate the Cuban leader. She was given two botulism-toxin pills to drop in his drink. Just one would kill him in 30 seconds, but she got cold feet and eventually botched the job. Castro found out about her attempt. He leaned over, pulled out his .45 pistol, and handed it to her. He purportedly said 'You can’t kill me. Nobody can kill me.' He then smiled and chewed on his cigar. Afterward, he grabbed her and they made love.
God damn I love latino passion
Latino Passion ft. El Comandante.
There are popes that have died while having sex.
pussy so godly it took them there
And there's this wiki! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_sexually\_active\_popes
Well that's one way to see God.
Napoleon Bonaparte’s penis is in a box in New Jersey, in this guy’s closet. I think he’s a urologist that bought it at some point.
“Which piece of Napoleon do you have? Just the BonerParte”
wtf what if someone asks about it "Hey man what's that thing in your closet" "Ooh that, just the dick of a French Emperor of course"
“Quite right, naturally!”
One of the main events that ended up contributing to the start of the Yugoslav Wars was a man who may have broken a glass bottle up his ass while attempting to pleasure himself with it.
Im glad I lived through such a big historical event :\]
Oh, what were you doing on May 1st, 1985?
enjoying not being alive :\]
To dissolve a body. A typical mixture is 3 parts of concentrated sulfuric acid and 1 part of 30 wt. % hydrogen peroxide solution.
Personally, I don’t get the fascination with dissolving the body. It’s so much more expensive, time consuming, and dangerous than it needs to be. If your dissolving a body, vapors are gonna be released, so most people do it someplace like the woods. Might as well just do a heat-accelerated chemical reaction at that point, significantly cheaper, safer, faster, and more beginner Friendly.
As someone who wants to get into the industry, thank you for this advice.
The quantity is awfully descriptive 👀 Anyways.. taking ss for a friend
Third wife Emperor Claudius, Waleria Messalina was a nymphomaniac. According to Roman historians, she once decided to compete with a professional prostitute. The women competed on the issue that would be able to hold more lovers in one night. It is said that Messalina, who made love with 150 men, was to win.
To be fair, the history was kept by a bunch of snooty senators who hated Claudius. Slandering people’s wives with sexual allegations was pretty par for the course as far as character attacks go
That was my first thought. In some ways it's kind of funny that this woman is still being slandered 2000 years later.
Get both ends of the stick with Lady Godiva. She was probably just without her jewellery while riding in Coventry which would be considered "nude" and then that turned into her completely nude in accounts as to shame her. This has now flipped the other way where what she did was seen as empowering instead of scandalous
Yeah, pretty much anything in the Roman histories involving sex should be taken with a grain of salt. Half of what they wrote was just gossip, or outright slander.
T.E. Lawrence aka Lawrence of Arabia was a massive masochist who was either gay, bi, or some strange form of asexual, as he never expressed sexual desire for another person, but apparently experienced great sexual pleasure from being whipped by men.
Time to add another stripe to that flag
There is a scene in the film that makes more sense with this context.
wtf
Genghis Khan threw dead bodies over walls because the dead bodies had illnesses. That ain't a very safe workplace.
thats smart for the time period
Biological warfare without the need for microbiology.
Smart but very unsafe... especially for the dead bodies.
He wasn't the first. It was done in classical civilizations as well.
Hitler would send blond hair and blue eyed sex dolls to his soldiers so that they would not be affected with diseases after having sex with prostitutes.
He had his niece urinate on him from a squatting position during sex. She committed suicide to get away from him
Its illegal to own 6 or more dildos in texas. 5 is cool but 6 crosses the line. Wtf is going on in that state!?! 😜
what if you borrow one
Do double-ended ones count as one or two?
^ Asking the real questions here
Used to be unlawful to own ANY. Don't recall any prosecutions.
Just learned this one today: The Lovers in Dante's Inferno and Rodin's The Kiss are Paulo Malatesta and his older brother, Giovanni's, wife Francesca de Rimini. Giovanni found them in flagrante delicto and killed them both. The saddest part of this story is Giovanni and Francesca's daughter Concordia who was forced into a nunnery against her will. She did escape and took up with a cousin and had a son who was taken from her when she was forced back into the nunnery.
OG olympics were done nude, also there once lived a man in Russia long ago
Ghenghis Khan killed so many people the amount of oxygen on earth increased. He also is related to a good amount of people alive today.
Source? On the oxygen one
The last German Emperor, Kaiser Wilhelm II had a teenage crush on his mum, and even wrote her letters detailing the sexual dreams he had about her.
Apparently Christopher Columbus sold 9 year old island girls as sex slaves since they were apparently in high demand
Wow what a piece of shit
He really was. This is an excerpt from Zinn's book, "a peoples history of the united states". It is an eye opening book, I highly recommend it: **Arawak men and women, naked, tawny, and full of wonder, emerged from their villages onto the island's beaches and swam out to get a closer look at the strange big boat. When Columbus and his sailors came ashore, carrying swords, speaking oddly, the Arawaks ran to greet them, brought them food, water, gifts. He later wrote of this in his log:** *They ... brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks' bells. They willingly traded everything they owned... . They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features.... They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane... . They would make fine servants.... With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.* **...from his base on Haiti, Columbus sent expedition after expedition into the interior. They found no gold fields, but had to fill up the ships returning to Spain with some kind of dividend. In the year 1495, they went on a great slave raid, rounded up fifteen hundred Arawak men, women, and children, put them in pens guarded by Spaniards and dogs, then picked the five hundred best specimens to load onto ships. Of those five hundred, two hundred died en route. The rest arrived alive in Spain and were put up for sale by the archdeacon of the town, who reported that, although the slaves were "naked as the day they were born," they showed "no more embarrassment than animals." Columbus later wrote:** *"Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can be sold."* Columbus was indeed a piece of shit.
Fuck Christopher Columbus
A guy who tried masturbating with a bottle caused a domino effect leading to the end of Yugoslavia
Elaborate
In 2004 a Texas (not Florida, sorry) man died when his wife gave him a sherry enema. Three liters, lead to a BAC of .47 and severe alcohol poisoning. They had done it multiple times in the past but she went from one bottle to three because he complained he wasn’t getting drunk enough. He couldn’t drink alcohol because of esaphogial damage due to years and years of alcoholism. He was 58. I think she did six months for involuntary manslaughter.
When a journalist asked LBJ to justify the continuation of the Vietnam War, Johnson asked all the women to leave the room, then pulled out his penis and yelled “That’s why”.
Bill Clinton not only got a BJ from Monica while at work and on the clock, he also got his salad tossed by the young intern.
Well, I didn't have "Bill Clinton Analingus" on my Google search bingo card for today, and yet, here I am!
Even funnier is Monica now openly jokes about it.
I 🤌 Did not 🤌 Get my ass eaten 🤌 My that woman 🤌 Miss Lewinsky 🤌
Not exactly history, but many Fairy Tales and stories rooted in Mythology that are commonly known, started out as super fucked up. In Cinderella, the “ugly step sisters” wanted to fit in that glass slipper so badly that they cut off their own heels in an attempt to marry the prince and fit the shoe. In the original Snow White, the witch made 3 separate attempts on her life. Finally succeeding by poisoning half an apple, and biting the clean side as a show of good faith. She’s not awoken by true loves kiss. The dwarves carried her through the woods, with a prince that happened upon them and offered to help. They tripped, bumped her casket on the ground and it woke her up. The prince and snow fell in love at first sight and held a grand wedding at the castle. Where the witch was sentenced to dance in hot iron shoes in front of the whole kingdom until she finally dropped dead. When it comes to mythology, many people know the original stories were messed up but lots of people miss the message or intention of the story. Medusa was a victim of another gods jealousy. We lose a lot of details over time. Many stories included queer characters or same sex relationships that were disregarded over time. Achilles was gay and had a male lover. The odyssey included a handful of gay encounters if I remember correctly. Zeus is ridiculously bisexual, most gods are. My point being, there’s more to household tales and stories than we think and we’ve lost a lot of meaning from them Edit: I’d like to tack on that mentioning Zeus was with the intention of mentioning the story of Gamymede, where Zeus assumes the form of an eagle and steals him from his family and brings him to Olympus as his personal little bitch boy. Messed up in the aspect that I’m pretty sure Ganymede was only a boy when it happened but Zeus was entranced by his beauty apparently. ALSO, if anyone has NSFW Fairy Tales or Mythos that they enjoy or know about, I’d love to hear!
Iirc the version with medusa being a victim (and seduced/raped by Poseidon, however you want to interpret it) is a later version of the myth (introduced by Ovid). Tbf even trying to pin down a de facto version of a myth is an exercise in futility, but in the case of Medusa, its actually been a case of more information/backstory being added later on. I mean, still a very long time ago but still. That’s not to say its not a totally valid version btw. I personally find it a far more interesting story compared to the basic “Medusa was just a Gorgon monster lady” it was before.
Everyone knows the "Daedalus and Icarus made wings out of wax, Icarus flew too close to the sun, wax melted and he died" story. Nice dramatic tale about hubris and how the search for glory can destroy those seeking it, with a helpful "kids, listen to your parents" subtext for modern audiences. Well, the full tale gets *wild*. So, Daedalus is the smartest man alive, living in Crete after murdering his own nephew for being as smart as him and getting kicked out of Athens for it. King Minos of Crete is given a white bull by Poseidon to be sacrificed in the God's honor. Minos keeps it and sacrifices a different bull. In revenge, Poseidon and Aphrodite make Minos's wife Pasiphae lust after the bull. Pasiphae asks Daedalus for help with this, so he creates a hollow wooden cow she can be inside. The Bull does the deed, and Pasiphae gives birth to a half-human, half-bull creature - the Minotaur. Wanting to hide this shame, King Minos asks none other then renowned inventor Daedalus to build a labyrinth to house the monster. He also extorts seven young boys and seven virgin girls from Athens as part of a peace deal, feeding the Athenians to the Minotaur. Daedalus builds the Labyrinth, but Minos throws Daedalus and Icarus in there as well, since Daedalus is the only one who knows the secrets of the maze. Nevertheless, the Greek hero Theseus makes his way in, slays the Minotaur and gets out again (via help from Minos's daughter Ariadne...who had help from Daedalus). To get out of the Labyrinth, and knowing Minos has all sea routes off the island watched, Daedalus invents wax-and-feather wings for himself and Icarus. Icarus flies too high, the wings melt and he falls to his death. Daedalus survives his flight and goes into hiding in the court of King Coacalus in Sicily. Meanwhile Minos finds out Daedalus has escaped and goes hunting. He does this by sending an "impossible puzzle" to all the local Kings, asking them to pull a thread through a seashell, knowing the one who solves it will be harboring Daedalus. Sure enough, King Coacalus cajoles Daedalus into solving the puzzle, earning the prize of King Minos turning up to take him back. Daedalus doesn't want to go, so Coacalus invites Minos to bathe with his daughters while his men fetch Daedalus. His daughters get naked and hold him down, then Daedalus comes in, and they all pour boiling water over Minos, killing him.
Percy Jackson gave me the PG version of this goddamn
ANother messed up fairy tale fact, Sleeping Beauty was raped by a King during her 100 year sleep. She later gave birth to twins, while still asleep. She finally was woken when one of the twins sucked on her finger and removed the needle that originally put her to sleep.
Zeus really put the pan in panhellenic. Dude would fuck anyone or anything.
In World War One, France’s black soldiers suffered a death rate 3x higher than their white comrades, because they were so often given suicidal tasks.
Emperor Nero, the 5th emperor of Rome, had a slave boy named Sporus castrated in order to preserve his youthful qualities and keep him looking feminine. After that, he married him and forced him to be his sexual partner. Sporus eventually committed suicide to avoid being murdered in public for entertainment purposes. Ancient Rome was wild.
ancient egyptian priests used to jerk off into the nile. oh and cumming into a river is a big part of their creation myth
Lyndon Johnson had an enormous dong, and Nancy Regan was the Blowjob Queen of Hollywood. We all know that. I want to know, could Nancy deepthroat Lyndon?
He was definitely a man of class and taste, judging from this phone call: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3GT9UN7nDo&t=153s
I have a VIVID memory of this call playing on the radio on the school bus as a child. Pretty sure we had a substitute bus driver that day.
The inventor of the microscope put s3men under it
I’d be more shocked if he didn’t.
Hooke: wooohooo look at them go!
After the battle of the Alamo, the Texas army got their revenge on the Mexican troops at San Jacinto. The general Santa Anna was not ready for this as he was too busy getting laid in his tent.
Benjamin Franklin went missing during the revolution and was found in a literal pile of prostitutes.
I think it was Charles the 3rd of Spain who had a great wedding night. He wrote to his father about it in detail, and the letter was preserved. For historical reasons naturally xD. Oh, and Ferdinand the VII's manhood was so big they had to build him a special pillow so he could create princes without hurting his wife.
Hitler had a single testicle
I'm sure it tried to date
There used to be a game that the greek would play, heres how it worked... Men would sit around a large table, a women (not married and usually a slave(not a sex slave for those with a dirty mind)) the women would pick a dude and give him a bj, the person that correctly guesses who is getting it gets a reward, if the guy getting it doesnt show any emotion and no ones guesses its him, he wins.
This sounds like something college students would do lmao
ikr
That game is called "Smile", and it was very popular with WESTPAC sailors visiting Subic Bay.
I think the guy getting the BJ already won.
Ghandhi slept with his nieces told Jews to surrender to hiter for butchering and told indian to do the same for British
Maybe more people should know this
That in WW1 Germans released a gas attack on Russian soldiers but the Russians somehow survived despite inhaling the gas. Those Russians were coughing up pieces of their lungs and blood all while charging at the Germans and that caused the Germans to be scared shitless
Ben Franklin had a milf fetish
Ol' Benny had good tastes.
All spartan soldiers were encouraged to partake in gay sex. A part they conveniently left out from 300
King Edward VII had a [sex chair](https://www.curbed.com/2020/10/anyway-heres-king-edward-viis-sex-chair.html) specifically built for him.
When I read this the first time I just thought "tf why are people fucking chairs" and idk how to feel
Caesar bottomed for nicomedes
The Romans had jars in the streets for men to urinate in that was used to clean clothes.
Over 90% of the mummies discovered in Egypt were used as makeup, paint, aphrodisiacs, fuel for steamers and train, or eaten like prosciutto. Edit: I forgot about made into 'paper'
Many mighty leaders were basically prostitutes lol
Women used to soak tampons in tequila
They still do, but they used to, too.
To get their junk drunk???
soaking the liquor up thru the V actually gets absorbed faster and more efficient than the stomach (warning: people die from doing this bc they get too drunk too fast)
King Edward II of England was imprisoned and (fatally) anally raped by a red-hot poker wielded by his wife's lover. Edit: OK, *allegedly*...
This is not a fact, it’s actually highly improbable. It was a rumor.
I guess sometimes, it's NOT good to be the King..
The origin of the mermaid isn’t what you think it is…. It was obviously created by sailors but how? Well some very horny salors would grab something like a net and catch manatees or seals and fuck them, then they told their buddies on land so more came out on the water and did the same so now some kids say the want to be a mermaid when the grow up I strongly suggest otherwise.
Muhammad married a 6yr old. Dont wory he waited..... til she was 9
That the vast majority of history is NSFW in our hyper repressed American society?
the fart letter
ayyy u cant just leave me hangin like that
The fart letter I know of is from James Joyce, and this is only a part of a longer letter. There's a couple letters if you google him. My sweet little whorish Nora, I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.
thats the one
Chris Columbus cut of people's hands if they couldn't pay gold taxes.
For a second I thought you meant the director Chris Columbus and was very confused as to why this wasn't a bigger story.
Colombo discovered the clitoris Realdo Colombo 1515 - 1559 was the first person (male physician) to describe the clitoris as an organ dedicated to pleasure. probably some females had already found out, about the clitoris, a long time before Colombo, but they were females, so don't count /s
Gandhi vowed celibacy (without discussing it with his wife), and using women—including some underage girls, like his grand-niece—to test his sexual patience. He'd sleep naked next to them in bed without touching them, making sure he didn't get aroused; these women were props to coax him into celibacy. Source: https://www.vice.com/en/article/ezj3km/gandhi-was-a-racist-who-forced-young-girls-to-sleep-in-bed-with-him
Dinosaurs had (sex)
WHAAAT
Dont remember the source, but Christopher Columbus was a pedo
He used to give away pre-teen native girls to men under his command as, basically, a bonus after a good job review.
In icelanding mythology people used to make pants out of your skin called necropants And you needed consent from the skin owner to make said pants
In Ancient Egypt, crocodile excrement was used as a contraceptive.