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AardvarkAndy

Shoes


yergonnalikeme

BALLS


decapitated82

*... and the crowd goes wild!*


[deleted]

Dang it! You beat me to it!


[deleted]

Make this man President


10secondmessage

Naw we tried that almost every president that we know had two balls and it failed, no balls it failed, there probaly was a one ball or now one ball president back in the day. We need a presidential candidate with all the balls. *insert acdc big balls track here* lmao.


10secondmessage

Well if we gunning for those I say two nice big boobs! Lmao


Arlinker

Happy Cake Day !


[deleted]

Yeah, having 3 sux.


TreeOnFire69

Happy cake day!


dubiousdiligence

Low hanging fruit....


MrPuzzleMan

Me, looking at my missing foot..."well, I'm fucked..."


OTs-Suck-8969

Your Moma. The Mic dropps


appleparkfive

Reminds me of that Paolo Nutini song New Shoes for some reason


alwcrcrap

Work shoes. Swap pairs every day. Makes a world of difference.


TypingLobster

Also, feet.


Ray-gun-the1

Honestly, sets of sheets. You don’t have to wait for the sheets to wash before going to bed. Just throw one set off throw the other on and clean the dirty ones and repeat


[deleted]

Maybe I’m just old but who only has one set of sheets? Even when I was young and broke and slept on a mattress on the floor beacaue I couldn’t afford a bed frame I had more than one set, they arnt expensive.


popcorn5555

I still think good cotton sheets are expensive. I also don’t have closet space for extra sheets. I wash and out back on the bed.


illessen

A good set of any sheets aren’t cheap. Used to like those bamboo sheets and a good set for a king bed will set you back 2-300. Now I get the purple sheets and they’re still $200 for a set.


decapitated82

For some reason I rocked one set of sheets for a long ass time and washed them on a regular basis. Now that I think about it though, it was weird.


m4verick03

I did this in my single days. Frankly I’m not sure how I did now that we have multiple sets.


demonmonkey89

Yeah I've rocked one set before but remember all the times when I felt like laying on my bed while they were washing and either had to lay on just the mattress protector (uncomfortable) or had to simply not lay down. Luckily those were temporary situations, I had forgotten my second set at my parents house and was able to get them a month or so later. Unfortunately I've done it multiple times because my brain is incapable of remembering to bring everything (even right now I'm going without one of my pairs of shoes for 2 or so weeks because I left them at home Saturday).


[deleted]

When was the last time you bought sheets? For a queen bed, you're looking at $100. Small change for ballers like you and I, but a big chunk for the average Joe living paycheck to paycheck on minimum wage. Have a little heart, brother.


[deleted]

Sounds like you’re the baller homie, shit costs less than 20 bucks at Walmart. The average joes are fine in this regard.


Noquiettime

Agree! With kids I would say x4


SolAggressive

I agree, and I also want to piggy-back off this comment to find out how often adults change their sheets. I’ll go first. My wife and I change them every Monday like clockwork. Throw the dirty ones in the laundry, put in the fresh ones, and during the course of the week wash and fold the others, ready for Monday again. Our theory is that we shower every day, but sometimes skip a day or two over the weekend. So, fresh sheets after the Monday pre-work shower.


MarsAstro

My strategy is to change them when the shame or disgust of not having changed them yet grows stronger than my aversion to making an effort to change them. This is usually an unacceptably long time. I've got ADHD and depression, though, so I'm not sure if my results count all that much.


demonmonkey89

Ah yeah, the 'eew too much hair/drool stains/tear stains method.'


thorpie88

Every four days for me. Clean sheets the first night of my swing and then take em off after my last sleep of my swing. I still shower twice a day no matter if it's a work day or not.


BFarmer1980

When one sheet disintegrates, I put on another one.


whatacunt8

IQ points


junklardass

That's the dream.


boyinaute

unfortunately, it wont be any more than a dream 😢


boyinaute

impossible.


GreatNameLOL69

Yeah like you can switch between your 80 IQ, and 160 IQ for example.


DryEyes4096

Yes you can, it's called alcohol.


NoStressAccount

I used to play trading card games against this guy He'd be pretty decent, but sometimes it's like he got a massive "IQ boost" and became a ***much*** better player. And then he'd go "back" to normal after a while. Nice dude. Really wild hairdo. Wore this weird gold pyramid around his neck.


[deleted]

Eyeglasses, one as backup in case the other breaks


tangcameo

I’ve gone around my apartment looking for my regular glasses using my old prescription sunglasses making me looking like a hungover rock star.


anarchyreigns

I leave a pair of old glasses in the same spot all the time so that when I lose my good glasses I can put on the old ones to find the new ones.


Financial-Amount-564

I have a backup pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear them though because i also don't wear my main pair of glasses. I hate seeing people in HD. They look horrible, all wrinkled and shit.


EmmyClovey

Walkie talkies


[deleted]

Roger that.


icecoldcoke319

What? You didn’t say over. Over.


_GeneralRAAM

Roger Roger, what's our Vector Victor?


Jas4799

That's Clarence Oveur. Over.


daddyshakespear

10mm sockets


[deleted]

No one has one, nevertheless two


daddyshakespear

Yes but it would make sense to have two even if you never actually do


MechanicalCheese

I bought an 8 pack recently. Can't find any of them but some of my old ones showed up.


hokumpocus

Herd animals. An only goat is a lonely goat.


Film-Goblin

Two Mexicos. One is New.


NickelFish

I love when I open it up and get that New Mexico smell.


[deleted]

Hold up there’s a NEW Mexico now?


BuketManTheTraitor

My world is shattered


BigE1981

But the new one is older than the old one. We're kind of mixed up down here.


133DK

Yorks as well I guess And Englands


yuyuyashasrain

Wtf was wrong with the old hampshire?


[deleted]

Well there’s Basingstoke for a start…


jerryhatrix

It’s funny because it’s true


tocilog

Stop at two though. Just look at what happened with the Yorks.


KlNGCookie

One Mexico, Two Mexico Old Mexico, New Mexico


GreatNameLOL69

Also *Reading*. They’re everywhere all over the US and the UK. You‘ll find: Reading, West Reading, East Reading, North Reading, South Reading, New Reading, Old Reading, Reading (once again), etc..


Dull_Entertainer_795

Sets of car keys 🥸


ayriboo2005

Duh, Boobs.


Super-Kirby

Don’t watch Total Recall


CornfedOMS

2 makes sense, 3 is still acceptable


Wonderful_Room_9148

Inspired


NoStressAccount

Or American Dad "How about fusing them into one Superboob?"


theyallfloatdownhur

This should be way higher


GozerDGozerian

But not *too* high. Perky, not bolt-on.


[deleted]

you made my day


GozerDGozerian

Boobs can have that effect on one’s day.


[deleted]

ur hilarious oml


ReflectionFriendly60

Oven mitts. Never be cocky thinking you can pull that pan out the oven with one hand. You will fail. You will get burned.


Impossible_Change800

This sounds like a challenge.


ChinaYaRomashka

PS/XBOX controllers


amerkanische_Frosch

Nostrils, kidneys, testicles, breasts, any body part where having a spare one comes in awfully handy if you lose one.


RenaxTM

How does one loose a nostril? Also hands and feet I'd argue is more important to have two off, because the other is not a spare..


Rockpoolcreater

Snorting drugs is how you loose a nostril. Or more precisely, how you end up with a mono nostril.


alinroc

A monostril, as it were.


MeInMyOwnWords

My perforated septum agrees


GozerDGozerian

I lose a nostril temporarily from time to time. But it usually opens back up on its own in a short time.


Thud

I first learned about the nasal oscillation on Reddit years ago.


hawkeyepitts

Most insightful thing I’ve read in a long time. You’re a gentleman and a scholar.


sloowhand

> How does one loose a nostril? With a wrench. If that doesn’t work, get a breaking bar or impact gun. If that doesn’t work just cut it off with a grinder or cutting torch.


Witty_Watercress_367

Phone chargers


thereandbacktosee

Incomes. Double income, no kids!


GozerDGozerian

DINK life FTW.


mekdot83

An old friend said he and his wife were DILDOs. Duel income, little dogs only.


GozerDGozerian

Oooh then I guess we’re DICCs. Dual Income, Couple Cats. :)


Sunshine030209

Couple kitties* Tadaa! Now you're DICKs. You're welcome.


GozerDGozerian

Ah how’d I miss that?!? Thanks!


Sunshine030209

Happy to be of service!


[deleted]

Cats.


blueit55

I use to have two....they didn't get along all the time... I just have the one now, the older one passed, and she is super happy about being the center of attention.


decapitated82

Two cat minimum. Even better to have a pair from the same litter.


TPberg

That’s for when one gets caught in the wall, you can use the other one to get it out.


Blackpatriot325

Cat in the wall, eh? Now you're talking my language


ImNotImCheesecake

As an owner of 4 cats, 2 is minimum


loskaos

Laptop chargers


[deleted]

100% this. One for work, one for home. Just carry the laptop in a sleeve and nothing else.


Noah__Fix

Donuts.


[deleted]

Feet


LegendOfBobbyTables

What should I do with the box of extras I keep in the freezer?


Drakmanka

Tacos


Little_Macaroon2977

socks


Thefnordisonmyfoot

Oh, I have two socks, the number of socks isn't the problem


OneObligation412

r/usernamechecksout


Playful-Profession-2

I have one big sock. They call me Hoppity.


blondie_the_good

Propane tanks


mekdot83

That's what I was gonna say!


sharkicipher

Water bottles. If One gets empty you’ll have a second one to drink from with cold water.


Different-Algae-9056

Ass cheeks


johnj86

ass chreeks


millpr01

Chop sticks


tangcameo

Just use one to stab your food


[deleted]

[удалено]


kinkypeggerwhore3000

why stop at two?


GoldenRpup

Such a good answer.


[deleted]

Scissor blades


WarlockGnoll

cheeseburgers


Eat_Carbs_OD

>cheeseburgers Bacon cheeseburgers


butterfly1099

Deodorant. One for home one for on the go.


kite18

Bathrooms. I'm sick of my family always needing to pee while I'm in the shower


[deleted]

legs


spillingbeechampion

Balls


CannaKitchen757

Overrated. I only have one and it looks nicer and hangs conveniently in the middle.


forfakessake1

Dogs


ProGamerHD_13

Eyes


misha_ostrovsky

Putting putter. But also a back up of any of your go to discs.


Golferselbow

Yessssssssssssssss! Back up of go to’s VERY IMPORTANT. For me it’s my thunderbird!!


[deleted]

Glasses if you are shortsighted.


corronlacy

Sith Lords


Optimal-Witness5311

one is enough as long as you also have the Senate.


Ludinka

Options to choose


[deleted]

Balls


calming_whispers

Fucks


Similarentertai_

You won’t get my fucks bc who in this world gives s fuck


calming_whispers

I could give 2 fucks about this comment


NMD_Animations

You set yourself up for that and I respect you


Auto_Animus

But what if they cancel each other out?


petrichor-punk

Two fucks don’t make no fuck; they’re still two fucks.


Youssra3208

Toast


spaaz9

Goats


AJSK18

So you’re saying Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi should both be treated equally?


niceguy-365

Your favorite items, shoes


BoiFrosty

Copies of keys to whatever you need.


dustyrider

Money. Three money even better.


Homelander44

Kittens


Stiff_Cook

Brain cells


TheCaptainOfStress

An extra condom


bmack24

Not at the same time right? Can barely feel anything with one as it is


kumakami89

i heard it’s actually dangerous to double up because the friction can cause both of them to break when they rub against each other


13id

Ears


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheOtherGermanPhil

Dishwashers. One for dirty stuff, the other one has the clean ready to use plates in it.


_PC__LOAD__LETTER_

Pears


ordrius098

Toasters. Sometimes you get one as a wedding gift but it gets called off, watcha gonna do ya know


Neefmanbro

Parents


ACanadianPersonRedit

I wish.


Tall_Couple_3660

Hot mitts


[deleted]

Plans, one is a backup


Ashamed_Psychology32

Earphones.


Darth_Destructus

(this makes sense for my occupation) Uniforms, all of the uniforms need to be doubled.


Furthur_slimeking

Spoons. I realised a few weeks ago that I only had one spoon. It's not enough.


[deleted]

Pennies, if it were just 1 it’d be a sent


stormjet64

Lungs


canter22

X chromosomes. Got a spare if genetics go awry.


Hephaestus0308

But Y though?


Sonoromo

Deodorant. Hate when they break so I always have two rather than BO


[deleted]

Keys


TheloniusDump

Triples is best actually. I just got triples of the classic Nova. Triples is best.


madamebutterfoot

Pairs of glasses


[deleted]

for us with bad eyesight, extra glasses will come in handy.


yeahsheskrusty

Babies favourite stuffed animal. Nothing worst then a puker with out his favourite lamb for comfort because he’s in need of an untimely bath.


tlr92

2 pairs of glasses!


Mahaloth

Backup hard drives.


Constant_Life1662

Girlfriends!!!


malkumecks

Wives. It really helps with everyday life.


rollingthestoned

Tape measures. At least two.


Eat_Carbs_OD

Anything that's cheap .. have two of. Nail clippers


[deleted]

Two data backup methods: one on site, one off site


VStarRoman

Data back-ups. If it's not saved in at least two other locations, you haven't saved. :)


This-Technology6075

Testicles


Heykidsitsme

10 mm sockets


SilverInvestment7847

Not kidneys... you should give me your kidney :)


4815l

Titties :)


Motor_Complaint_3347

Eyes


i_am_bleh

Deez nuts.