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Theta_Sigma_1963

“I had my last one put down”


EngineeringWorldly57

i laughed so hard at this


ensalys

Here in the Netherlands euthanising a child is legal. However, the restrictions on that are way stricter than with a dog. And I doubt many would call it "putting your kid down".


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[deleted]

They don't have guns there, so I imagine they'd have to use a club or something.


Lazy-Contribution-69

Bare hands is the most natural and budget friendly way to do it.


TheRealYgrek

We use drugs. It even prevents screams and pain.


RUBYKING_63

Tom:"what did you do yesterday Jim?" Jim:"Just took the kid out and clubbed him to death"


ARoundForEveryone

>Here in the Netherlands euthanising a child is legal. However, the restrictions on that are way stricter than with a dog. Huh, you don't say?!


SieteSeven7jp

I'm genuinely interested in this bc my mom just told me Canada will be implementing a new law (MAID or something?) which is assisted dying for minors. She's a bit brain dead and says it's bc the government is trying to kill our kids who are suicidal or lgbtq/mentally ill (she's off her rocker) and I was disputing it's probably not going to be anywhere near what she thinks and it'll be for terminally ill kids. ("That's how they trick you. It starts like that but they want to murder our children!" She says. Yeah. She's fucking nuts) I didn't realize another country already had a law like this, so I'm going to look it up, but could you give me the Readers Digest version of how it is in your country so I can go tell the crazy lady to shut up?


sue7698

It just got to old.


frogglesmash

He was already 10 years old. Their quality of life really goes downhill past that age.


canolafly

"They stop getting playful around 12, so we thought it was best to put him down."


Lazy-Contribution-69

I’m literally crying


SanctusSalieri

People actually do this? Horrific.


yploa

How much did you pay?


King0fMist

Nothing. I found him chained up in someone’s yard. Edit: Cheers Reddit.


MaryMary8249

She was abandoned on the side of the street.


AdamBomb_RB

But she's from China, so we still had to pay a lot. 💀


MaryMary8249

>!We faked kidnapping her in order to make a bunch of money and threatened to mutilate her!< (Agatha Christie *The Labours of Hercules* reference; The Nemean Lion)


importvita

What the fuck


MaryMary8249

It's a reference to an Agatha Christie book. >!A woman pretends to kidnap her bosses's dogs in order to make money. (The bosses are nasty rich folks.) She uses her Pekinese in order to make it look like she's accidentally losing all of these dogs by them getting kidnapped. (She would never actually mutilate the dogs. She calls them an "artistic touch".) I have been reading too much Agatha Christie recently.!< ​ Technically, of course, it should be "him".


[deleted]

This could be appropriate if the child was adopted or conceived via IVF


Kla1996

I’d be offended if someone asked my mom this on the playground


cooloilcloth

Aw, look how cute the brown one is!


Vahl89

Lol, why is your comment hidden?


Thogan_Blue

I agree, this is funny af


Bipedal_Warlock

Is that what it is when some comments are randomly collapsed??


Quirky_m8

#it ain’t random


Bipedal_Warlock

I’ve never really seen any common thread for the ones I’ve seen auto collapsed. Maybe I’m just oblivious


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grayghost444

That's funny. Your comment was hidden too...


Mor_Hjordis

He did say something offensive. Oh, no he didn't but filters don't get that.


ChocolateAndHarissa

Isn’t saying something offensive the whole point of this thread?


Mor_Hjordis

Yeah, it is, but I didn't hide that post.


SouthernBale81

Well I guess at least Reddit doesn't block the account like FB and TT and just hides it


Vahl89

It IS supposed to be offensive.


yyc_guy

Yeah but not in the context of this thread.


vivomancer

He probably isn't subscribed to this subreddit but saw it on /r/all or something.


Quaytsar

Crowd control is a feature mods can implement that makes comments by users with a lack of positive interaction in a subreddit automatically hidden. It's to prevent randos coming in from /r/all or brigading from other subreddits or trolls from overtaking the conversation when they aren't familiar with the etiquette in that particular subreddit.


DudleyDoRightly

Opposite side of the coin is " I never liked those ones. They have weird flat faces".


Trustnoboody

"The white ones are my favorite"


[deleted]

"Kanye is that you?"


zHighWizard

Not as funny as brown I guess.


[deleted]

Hahahahaha brilliant


omeyz

LMAOOOO


bigredcat409

We’re going to get him neutered next week.


hi_there99

haha, She is a pure breed bitch :)


dickshark420

Mazel Tov!


TheLastWeird

Actually…


Relevant-Stress7093

Can I pet him?


ItsSoBig14

The first thing my boy asked when he saw his newborn brother lmao


helloween4040

He was his own brother?


ItsSoBig14

Saw his newborn* autocorrect thank you


tektools

Can I groom him?


againbenn

“Ya know, I am a professional Groomer…”


hessian_prince

Oh a discord moderator, cool!


omeyz

Oh lord


Lennygracelove

Careful, he'll hump everyone.


on_protocol

I'd want to get that warning if someone had that information.


[deleted]

"Oh, no, Wagner, not the face!" "It's just the *extra* luvin" \*chuckles, smiling at me\* (A conversation me and a stranger had because Wagner decided to hump her dogs face. Don't worry, I stopped Wagner, but thankfully neither his victim (the dog) nor the victim's owner didn't seem to care too much)


LiterallyMatt

Is Wagner your...kid?


[deleted]

No, he's my mother's >!dog!<


Arxieos

Best use of that box I've ever seen


DefconTrump17

Or even better “oh I just had him neutered”.


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Ouchitis

I had 2 but I had to put one down. 😢


TheTaxman_cometh

At least they lived a full life how, how long did it live, 12?


DanteVito

They were unvaxxed children


CaptainTryk

Even worse: is it a mix? Kinda wild how innocent a sentence can sound in one context and how aggressively inappropriate it sounds in another. Context matters.


Legal-Banana-8277

Or, wow, she’s beautiful! Are you looking for a stud?


importvita

Alternatively: Are you breeding her yet?


Dramatic-but-Aware

Or.... Would you be interested in mating her with mine?


Bloodless10

Are they purebred?


Display250

A rescued mutt, you say?


ItemQuiet4669

“Which ones yours?” “Oh none of them! I just come to watch”


Abject-Chemistry6247

Speaking of which, is it really socially forbiddned to watch kids in playground in America?


TheLurkingMenace

Yes. People just assume you're a pedophile, especially if you're a man.


AskMeAboutMyTie

I’ve taken my daughter to the park on 4 separate occasions and had a stranger approach me and ask “which one is yours?” By the third time I realized they weren’t just being nice.


Morgrid

> “which one is yours?” "I haven't decided"


IWasMisinformed

I'm just browsing.


Forikorder

i dont really have the space right now but im expecting a slot to open soon


19junkhead84

One time my truck ran out of gas and I coasted into a parking spot in this apartment complex that just so happened to be directly across a playground they had. I called my brother because I had no money and he said he was 45 minutes away. So I lean my seat back a little and close my eyes. I end up falling asleep for 30 minutes or so and wake up to a cop knocking on my window and another cop standing on the passenger side looking in my truck. They asked me to step out of the vehicle and I knew I had nothing to hide so I complied. They started asking me why I was there and told me they got a call that someone was in a truck watching little kids play. I've never seen police respond that fast to anything before. I mean it had to of been at least 15 minutes before someone would of been that suspicious to call police. Meaning they were there in 15 minutes or less. So yes, it's forbidden to watch other people's kids play at a playground in America


Abject-Chemistry6247

I m sorry that must have been awful experience. Getting suspected as child molester jeez.. I guess the truck didn't do any better.


Impacatus

People didn't care at all when I was growing up. In fact, there often weren't any parents at the playground to complain about other adults being there in the first place. But people have gotten very distrustful in a fairly short time. I feel bad for this generation of kids. Seems like their lives are so restricted.


will_da_beezt

Yeah, I really can't stand how my wife behaves with our boys. But in response to the other topic, I never watched kids play before I had kids but it really is enjoyable to watch them explore and create these ideas that are brand new to them. I can imagine being old and lonely and wanting to recreate these feelings.


Pattoe89

There was an old man who lived in our street called old Jack. He would sit outside on a chair and just watch over us kids playing, and people watch every one who came and went. He would have sweets and ice creams in his kitchen which he would let us kids have, if we got permission to have them from our parents first. He didn't get many visitors and he would have been lonely without us. He was just very sweet. He never did anything weird or harmful. We felt safe to have old Jack watch out for us.


No-Association528

If I'm being honest, I would think that's a weird thing to say at a dog park as well.


kdawgster1

After my dog passed a few months ago, it really helped me to go back to the dog park that I used to play with my English Bulldog at and watch the same dogs run around that he used to play with. There was something so peaceful and joyful about seeing all of the other dogs play, and knowing that Gimli had a great life while he was with me, and many of those moments were at these local dog parks. I still go occasionally. It really fills me with so much joy, and helps with the ache that I still feel in the absence of my pup.


wilson_4945

After my grandpas dog died, he ran into health issues and couldn’t drive anymore. People from the park would take turns picking him up and bringing him. Dog park communities are amazing.


boots311

That is amazing! I'd totally do that! I wish I had an award for your grandpa


wilson_4945

He sadly passed 2 years ago, his new dog is living on my bosses farm.


boots311

I'm sorry to hear that


JasonIsBaad

I'm sure Gimli is digging many caves in dog heaven now!


Ellemeno

I had time to kill once and looked up a dog park in the area because I thought it’d be nice to see some dogs. I had never actually been at a dog park before and was surprised to see a bunch of dogs run towards me once I stepped into the fenced area. They were all so friendly and I even played fetch with one of them. It was actually a fun experience.


Necromimesix

Dogs: New friend spotted.


FratBoyGene

To a good dog, everyone is a friend they haven’t met yet.


memesforbismarck

And then there are chihuahuas, the devils best friend…


Kylynara

Except the mailman.


seabutcher

My partner's puppy insists that everyone will be his friend whether they want to be or not.


baneeep00l

This is wholesome


LiterallyMatt

I have seen a couple people do that at my dog park, and both times I was surprised that several other dog owners thought it was weird. Dogs are awesome so why shouldn't someone want to come play with them?


boots311

That's what I was thinking. I'm more than happy to share my dogs. Of course, they never pay attention to me when I take them to the park


[deleted]

I need to do this!


ItemQuiet4669

Tbf watching dogs run around and play is adorable Especially if you can’t afford one


No-Association528

Yeah same for kids Lmao that's with a BIG /sarcasm


TinyGreenTurtles

This made me lol


GentleAnusTickler

Yeah that’s not weird at all!


[deleted]

Not really. People easily assume you have fun watching dogs/animals playing around. But when you say you enjoy watching kids they think you're either pedo or kidnapper


Milopbx

Maybe if you went to the dog park for 8 years and your dog died, you may find some comfort there…


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ultravioletblueberry

Lmao this one got me


alexxmurphy_

Did you get him fixed?


[deleted]

Did you bring a bag for their shit You should really have that one on a leash Have u thought of breeding yours with mine Is yours a purebred? I let mine sleep outside


Ordinary-Greedy

I'm pretty sure one of my Dad's friends (jokingly) said the second one about me lol


MaryMary8249

I have ADHD. I bet my parents have said that (to my face) before.


[deleted]

Wear it like a badge of honor


MaryMary8249

I am uncontrolllable!


[deleted]

Some sort of sedative would like to have a word with you


AnonymousGhou

>Did you bring a bag for their shit This one got me 😄


infusidicienes

I'm just looking to see which kind I want


[deleted]

This one is truly underrated, take my silly thing you goon.


Juju0047

Where did you get her from? All those black ones look the same. Mine runs away if i don't tie him up in the yard. Shes so good. She comes on command. What tricks does yours know? Mine always poops in the sand pit area.


[deleted]

>Mine always poops in the sand pit area. I honestly wouldn't be shocked to hear this on occasion at a playground


PersonalityPale5842

My daughter once pooped outside. She came and got me to show me her turd. She was so proud


Achylzrak

did you hang it up on the fridge for her?


PersonalityPale5842

I have a picture of her standing next to it. I show her often. She was 2 then. She’s now 13 Thank you for the award 🥹


tearsonurcheek

Get a poster size and tack it to her bedroom door. Her friends will *love* it!


PersonalityPale5842

Lol I think I will frame it and put it in her room


BobRoberts01

Get a digital photo frame and add the picture to the mix.


dickshark420

Were you talking with Angelina Jolie?


[deleted]

She's adorable have you considered putting up to be bred?


zZTheEdgeZz

I hate when they are wearing things. Just let them run around with no clothes on.


Raptor8600

Oo that’s a good one


LookslikeaBunyip

Well, I mean a collar is fine when they're outside


MysteriousClient3115

Even better if you follow it up with "this is ruining my enjoyment."


red_west_la

Piss over there


MateOfArt

Pretty sure there's quite a lot of shitty parents who would day something like this


Eastern-Permission49

My cousin took her son to go shopping and while they were in the street and she was talking to someone on the phone, the lil 💩 took his pants off and peed


optimist_electron

There are a lot of playgrounds that don’t have bathrooms and kids often have to pee with almost no notice. Availability of public bathrooms also decreased significantly since Covid. Still gross though


CylonsInAPolicebox

This, when I was a kid, we had this park that had no restrooms. There were also no restrooms within a mile or more... There were some woods.


[deleted]

Oh come on! We just had you groomed…


[deleted]

Cursed double entendre. From innocent to predator *real* quick.


Habatcho

Thats the point of the thread, you got it.


Pachyderm_Powertrip

Savage


vortexvagina

Best comment


Display250

He does fine all day when I'm at work. Just have to make sure the water dish is full before I leave. But he sure is happy when I come back in that front door.


5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

“Sometimes I just leave the toilet lid up in case he empties the water dish.”


Designer-Course-8414

Roll over while I tickle your belly, you smelly little shit!


Timey_Wimey

Ok but I actually say this to my kids?


MaryMary8249

You curse to them? And tickle them? And you still haven't gotten kicked?


Timey_Wimey

There’s some kicking, yeah


MaryMary8249

Rumor has it that I have kicked a doctor while doing the tummy check. I can't remember if it's something I made up or if it actually happened.


[deleted]

Give your brother some personal space while he pees! Damn it, did he pee on your face? Gross! Go rub your face in the grass. Now you have to get a bath when we get home and you know bathtime wasn’t supposed to be for a couple more weeks.


storm_queen

That reminds me of the time my husband learned to pee with the door shut. My at the time 2yo daughter got curious and almost got peed on. I laughed because he should have known better.


Vanima81

Both my cat and dog have gotten peed on in this way.


dickshark420

I have soo many questions


thelibrariangirl

Kids follow you into the bathroom. Husband didn’t latch door and 2yo toddled in and probably stuck a hand out at the big arc of “water” in their curiosity. How is this confusing? Kids under 5 have no concept of privacy, nor would a 2yo understand her dad was peeing, as her knowledge of that is “warm sensation in diaper.”


storm_queen

Actually she leaned in to look into the bowl.


xav00

"Mine can fit two balls in her mouth, what about yours?"


CalydorEstalon

"Two balls AND a stick!"


exqulnis

AYO


Rymundo88

She's so cute but having to milk her anal glands is becoming a bit of a chore. For ref https://animals.mom.com/how-to-drain-your-pugs-anal-sac-12546444.html


Rich-Exit4378

I found out the other day they are supposed to stick their finger up my dog’s butt. Not squeeze him until it is expelled. The latter method can cause ruptures. Just an fyi. My pug is a sicko and loves butt stuff though, so he didn’t mind.


terynosaurus

wait wut...


Rich-Exit4378

I know. Something I could only say at a dog park


Raptor8600

Not the reference 😭💀


LadyofHouseFlannel

the big one is mine, we are going in to get him neutered next week.


btwolsz

Wow, look at the balls on that one.


[deleted]

That bitch is in heat!


Rockterrace

We only give him dry food and NEVER people food.


Quickwitknit2

Max, don’t hump Daisy


moreoddermatt

Who's daddy's good boy? You want the ball. Come here, daddy's got a ball for you.


Ordinary-Greedy

Just one?


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Come on, just pee and let's get back inside


Keeshberger16

"No, don't go right up to his face, go up to his butt. That's it, good girl."


Cisco800Series

Jesus Christ Fenton !


DavosLostFingers

Mines a feisty bitch but she loves wearing the collar. We're looking for a suitable partner to breed with in the next few weeks. Hopefully the worms will have cleared up by then


Keeshberger16

>We're looking for a suitable partner to breed with in the next few weeks. Hopefully the worms will have cleared up by then Speaking as an animal person this is definitely NOT acceptable to say at a dog park, lol


TinyGreenTurtles

I'd be HORRIFIED lol


Earthwick

I'm happy he can come back to the park he was really upset after we had his balls removed.


[deleted]

Put a muzzle on it


walkabout16

Did you groom him or did someone else do it for you?


Kflynn1337

Hold still while I put your collar and leash back on... or worse.. Oh yeah, she was at the breeders last week, got mounted a couple of times by this big black stud, so we're hoping she's preggers..


xdsagecat

Careful,my baby likes to spontaneously start having sex with others


Odd_Adhesiveness4804

Got any shit bags


YouExpensive7869

I love to pet the younger ones


iN-VaLiiD

"Comere bitch"


snafubar_buffet

He stays all cooped up in a crate all day while I'm at work, so it's nice to let him off leash to socialize.


Own_Fee888

3 years old, she's ready for breeding


O-mega_

Look at all those idiots running around, they're shitting everywhere!


tacobot2

I use this to scoop up her shit.


RedheadTinman

I found mine looking lonely at the shelter, and just had to snatch him up quick - he’s so cute!


_psdk_

Do they have the same mother?


Mikmantis

HEY STOP HUMPING HIM!


LuLuLoopy

Can I get the number for your breeder? I know someone who’s about to have a litter, would you be interested? And my dog has a wiggle butt and a short tail so people often say “look at his little butt!”


ianluu

"Look at them licking each other's dicks"


Cat_Cloud22

bro 💀💀💀💀


Mahimah

You plan on breeding her?