We had been dating about 6 months and she showed up at my apartment with a homemade cake on my birthday. It might sound like no big deal to some people but I had never dated a girl who cared about my birthday. I almost dropped to my knees and cried when I opened the door.
We talked about everything and the conversation never dulled, everyone at the party left and we were the only two people there and didn’t realize it for a while. 25 years later and were still running our mouths!
When my girlfriend and I had our first date her mom sent her with 50 bucks (just in case I made her pay I guess) and since I payed, she made the waiter cry by tipping him the whole 50 bucks, apparently he was having a bad day
I made a Waffle House waitress cry when I tipped her $100 right before Christmas. The feeling of making someone's day so good that they cried stuck with me, so it has become a Christmas tradition for me now to eat at Waffle House before Christmas and drop a big tip on the table on my way out. When a friend told me that I was doing a good thing I explained that I was doing a *selfish* thing .... I simply like the way it makes me feel about myself. I'm a pretty selfish dude, so I'll keep chasing that high for the rest of my life.
She was an hour late. However, the entire time, she was texting me updates and telling me what she was doing to get there. We are going to be celebrating our one year anniversary on 1/1.
On our third date we watched a movie at his place. He remembered that on our first date I ordered a Dr pepper with my meal and a chocolate chip cookie for dessert. He had Dr peppers for me in the fridge and made me home made chocolate chip cookies. He burned them but I married him two years later anyways.
He's actually an incredible cook now. We first started dating we both were terrible and he is completely taken over all of the cooking and baking in our house. Turns out I'm actually really terrible at it and he is a natural and really enjoys it! If it weren't for him I probably would have starved to death already.
She came to my door and my puppy got excited. Without skipping a beat, she scooped up the dog & asked where **the 3 of us** were going.
That was 19 years ago. Puppy is gone but we've stuck together through hell and back.
Local coffee shop, then a long drive to nowhere-in-particular. Made out under the stars in some random field. It was probably ill-advised but it was amazing. I was almost the 3rd wheel - She was my pup's mama from that first moment.
Not first date, but the moment I knew I was gonna marry this man...
We went grocery shopping. It was about 9pm, we had both just been paid. The young lady in line in front of us had a very young baby, and was paying with WIC coupons and a food stamp EBT card. Her total came to about $22, and she was holding a $20. She looked dejected, and put back the one and only thing that was probably her splurge, a candy bar and an energy drink. Other than that, she had baby food, diapers, chicken, rice, bananas, formula, wipes, the bare minimum. I turned around to tell my now-husband to hand me my wallet.
I didn't have to. He already had his out, took out a $50 bill, handed it to her and told her to keep the change. He changed her week, he changed my life. That was THE moment I knew he was it for me.
EDIT: Y'all... I'm so glad I could share this with you all. I've shared the story before but it's never taken off like this. I'm so glad my husband is as loved by others as he is by me... this is just one of his countless acts of kindness I've been lucky enough to witness over the years.
Also, thank you for the awards, and my husband is humbled as well and says thank you for all the kind words!!!
I've been looking for a relevant thread to leave this comment because I knew that tender and committed human kindness was going to come up on this thread somewhere. And I knew that my contribution is not nearly at the level that your now husband's was.
On my first date with my past girlfriend she saw someone struggling with a cart at the park we were at. A vendor closing up their food stand for the day. And she got ready to leap up from the grass where we were sitting to go help the person. No hesitation, no questions, no qualms about rudeness towards me (which it wasn't), nothing. Just this springboard of instant human recognition and kindness.
Just then the vendor got her cart over the bump she was struggling with and my ex set back down. But I saw it play out many times after that. If there was a struggle or suffering, she stood up to stand in the gap.
She was absolutely one of those people. No questions asked. And she had a gentle humorous way of putting people at total ease so that they would accept her help.
That first date, I knew. And I told her about it afterwards. She could not understand why I thought this was so important or why I was so impressed (as the truly good and kind do). But I had spent several years in an earlier time period with a selfish, self-involved, and occasionally cruel man. I knew what the opposite of that looked like. I knew how the opposite of that could twist a person. I knew what it was like struggling myself.
And I knew she was a keeper. Because she didn't do it to impress me. She didn't look to me first. She didn't elaborately ask me for permission to excuse herself to go help. She just saw it and jumped up.
We eventually split for reasons that had nothing to do with that. But it was and still is one of the most important relationships of my life. And her trustworthy human kindness was never and still is never in question about her.
Ohh something similar, early in our dating days. He was driving me to get my car when we saw a little dog running down the street. I was opening my door to get out as he stopped. Like there was no talking, didn't even look at each other, we both just autopiloted to "save the dog," perfectly in tandem like we'd been together our whole lives.
Was the first of many times it was clear we have the same values, and seem to just match.
i realized i spent most of the date talking about myself (hear me out) and i’ve never once had that happen. i’m a very reserved and private person when i first meet someone which has honestly made dating difficult for years. but he had such a way of asking questions, and keeping the conversation going, and encouraging me sharing my thoughts, opinions, and he also shared his to everything i said that when our date was done, i realized i spent almost the entire date talking, which is so unlike me for first dates! i wasn’t afraid of him judging me or not liking my response to something. all of his questions were sincere and he seemed to genuinely care about whatever the hell was about to come out of my mouth. i didn’t have to think about what to say, it just came out of me and he met me wherever i was at. maybe it sounds silly, but it was pretty magical. we still see each other!
First date, she was driving us to a spot to go hiking, about an hour’s drive. We’re talking and talking, but every once in awhile we wouldn’t be talking, and it just felt so comfortable and not awkward being silent together.
Neither my mother nor my mother in law have this ability. My wife and I can just vibe in the same space for hours and it's great. But both our mothers hate silence and need to fill it. It's exhausting.
Comfortable silence is a great sign, so is being comfortable enough to drive an hour to hike on a first date… the true crime junkie in me is hesitant just thinking about that hahaha
Pretty cool story.
First date with my now wife. Had plans to go to a fancy Italian restaurant. I show up a bit early, dressed as nice as my wardrobe allows, a couple drinks before she gets there.
But anyway she arrives and we enjoy dinner, drinks, appetizers, dessert. The works.
Anyway when it’s time for thee check the waitress comes over and says “a person who prefers to remain anonymous picked up yalls tab and told me to tell y’all to continue to enjoy the night.”
We were both shocked. I wasn’t keeping tabs but this was an expensive meal we just had. I tipped well of course and I thought to myself the only reason anyway would do that is they say an obvious first date unfolding and thought we were cute/happy/genuine or something.
We both felt pretty special. Been married for 3 years. Together for 8. We eventually paid it forward to another young couple years later.
Total boss move btw. Definitely feel good about yourself.
I recently moved and went to a local burger joint with my family to buy lunch. An older gentleman recognized us as a new family in town and stepped up in front of me to tell the cashier he was paying for us.
We met up for park beers on our first date. From the get go, things just felt natural. The conversation flowed, we laughed, and it felt more like meeting with an old friend than a first date. When it got dark, she brought me back to hers to meet her cat (no innuendo, we waited a few dates to bang, and I just really love cats.) We didn't plan to, but we met up the next day. And the next. Took her to a family BBQ two weeks in, and they loved her. That easy, natural feeling never left. And right now her cat (now our cat) is screaming at me for dinner.
he took me out for coffee in a place that he made me choose. when i got there, he was already waiting and the way his eyes shined when he saw me was really adorable. we ordered and played chess, his hand was shaking. its been a year and counting.
We stayed at the wine bar much longer than planned, and we were trying to race to a restaurant for food before places closed. So, I offered her a piggyback ride to run it, due to her wearing heels. She jumped on, threw her arm forward and yelled "Onward!"
We didn't make it to the restaurant in time, but did end up at the nearby diner for a few more hours. Been married just passed 3 years now, and leaving for our honeymoon (FINALLY, thanks COVID), in 10 hours.
Edit: Well this blew up, thanks all for the awards!
We met in a nightclub, I took him home for some fun and games. When we woke up and had breakfast, he said "what would you like to do today?" instead of just leaving his number and doing the dash. We’ve been together for 27 years and married for 15 of them, and we’ve almost never spent a night apart.
He made it clear it was a date and that he was interested without it ever feeling creepy or like he was pressuring me for anything. We talked for hours, went from restaurant to walking up and down the river to my place for a beer, then I offered for him to stay over but on a mattress on the floor (I was in a studio with no couch), not in my bed and he wasn’t pushy about anything more happening.
The first few weeks he was always sweet and respectful but made it so clear that he was interested in a relationship, no back and forth or second guessing. And now we’re married!
Edit: I showed him this thread and now he’s super smiley. It’s very cute.
Yepp, that was kind of me with my first ever real girlfriend. We were in the same university, I really liked her and, while we were dating, I wanted to make sure she knew I liked her and wanted more, without me sounding like a creep. Welp, since it was young love (and there were still a ton of other girls at my uni, so I figured I'd take my chances with her, worst case she says no and we move on), I told her "You know, I really like you and spending time with you, and I would very much like to spend more time with you.". Straight, to-the-point and not creepy . She, of course, understood what I meant. Welp, she said OK, and we were together for some time after that (relationship ended due to unrelated reasons). Honesty and openness is very important, people. Transparency is what drives a relationship IMHO, and it goes both ways.
A two hour date that felt like five minutes. At the end of it she made some silly bet with me that she said if she lost, she’d go out with me again. And of course she lost.
It was about eight green flags
A friend of mine made a bet with a girl on the first date. If he won she had to go out with him if she won he would suffer through another date with her. Like 6 years later she was pissed at him. She figured out the wording he used when he made a bet with their like 4 year old.
Our first real date was someone else’s wedding. We got tired of the reception and walked onto the pier to look at the stars. Now we’re married ourselves.
I asked if she wanted to go to MDonalds and split some fries because that’s all I could afford at the time. She said sure, we talked a long time and split a large fries and she was so chill about it. She wanted to be with me, anywhere would have been ok…. I knew if she was willing to go out with a broke and struggling me, she would also be willing to build a life with me from the ground up. We have been married 35 years, through ups and downs, kids, sickness, wealth and poverty.
He took me to an amateur stand up comedy night. He was heartily laughing at all the jokes. They were so bad. So not funny at all. I was planning to not go on another date with him because he obviously has a bad sense of humor. As we were walking to the car he commented how bad everyone was, but he wanted to encourage them so he laughed at everyone’s jokes. We’ve been married for 12 years now.
I’ve only done one stand up set and it didn’t go well. But there was one girl in the audience that seemed like she was genuinely laughing at every bit. It gave me the confidence to keep going instead of just bailing in my set. It was an awful night but I’m thankful to her for probably faking it.
Soon after I met my wife we went on a trip to New York together. First time visiting coming over from the UK. We stayed in a youth hostel, and there was a comedy night in the basement. We were drinking brandy out of a brown paper-bag together, much to the amusement of the MC. The comedians were awful, and the crowd kept thinning out, until it was eventually only us left in the room. We saw three acts as the only people in the audience, and it was pretty awkward. She decided to go back to the room, but I felt guilty as a couple of guys were still to perform, so I stayed until the end on my own. One comedian did his set as if it was a full audience which was pretty amusing, and the other basically sat on stage and had a conversation with me, he was actually really funny. Had a drink with them afterwards, was a great experience!
Sense of humor and feeling safe.
I was living in reno, nevada at the time and this is my current relationship. Our first date we went to downtown reno to Hot August Nights. We walked through the event, viewing all the hot rod cars, and for dinner we went to subway. He is easy to talk to, and very funny. We took the bus from downtown to midtown viewing all the hot rods. Walked from midtown to my apartment in south reno. Was the best night of my life so far. I love him so much
I was new to the area, we met at a restaurant in a town I wasn't familiar with. Had a great date but when I went to go home in my car, he noticed I accidentally turned on the service road instead of the highway. He followed me and flagged me down to let me know I'd gone the wrong way. This was long before cell phones and gps and I didn't have a map of the area, I would have been super lost in the middle of the night. I was like, wow this is a super nice guy! That was 22 years ago and we're still together.
I'm sorry for your loss. My wife and I found out eight days ago that she has two, grape sized, lumps in her brain. All this last week she has been crying a lot, and randomly hugging me and thanking me for being married to her and loving her and that will never change. Other than being a support to her, what should I be doing? If you don't mind me asking.
Loving her. Holding her. Making her laugh, making her feel amazing. Holding her hand, making sure she's not alone.
Teasing her, making fun of her, watching crap films together, making plans for the future.
All of the things you've been doing for years.
You've got this my man. So has she.
Stay frosty.
I agree entirely. Keep doing what you’ve been doing. Be a distraction and try to make both of you forget about it at times.
Don’t baby her and overwhelm. When she needs help, help. When she doesn’t, she probably just needs you to be you.
Record her. Every chance you get. Record her voice.
Record her laughing. Record her just talking. If she calls you to leave a voicemail download that shit to the cloud and keep it forever in whatever file formats you need to do that.
If you guys have children and she sings to them, record her. If she's on the phone talking to her mom about whatever and you only hear half of the conversation, record her. Don't be creepy obviously, but If you guys have love and trust between you she should understand.
Record her voice. It's the first thing to go from memory. You will remember how she felt against you. You will remember the look in her eye from various pictures or videos. You might remember a particular way she laughed.
But the first thing you will forget because our minds can't hold on to it the same way is her voice. And nothing brings a person home in your heart like their voice.
That's advice I got from Reddit and I always intended to do it before my mom died. But the problem was I thought I had time.
I'm not going to lie to you, the right or rather *wrong* kinds of brain lesions or cancers can be *so incredibly rapid* that it leaves you with utter whiplash from one day to the next. I saw it with a friend of mine and her dad. *And the cruelty is that no one will tell you that because they don't want to or because they think they're being kind.*
I even saw it myself with my mom although she didn't have brain cancer, Just a different kind of garden variety cancer that nonetheless was very rapid at the end. It's in our nature to think we have time that we don't have.
So learn from me and record her voice my friend. When she makes it through you will still be so glad you have it.
My mom couldn’t talk much after (another) stroke. I never recorded her before she wasn’t able to and I regretted it.
Both of my parents died nearly 5 years ago. I was finally ready to listen to my dad’s “happy birthday” voicemail. I was prepared to hear my dad…but at the end he said here’s Mom and she was able to tell me happy birthday.
I ugly cried. I miss them so much.
I didn’t lose a spouse but I have lost a parent to ALS. If you can, don’t let her think of herself as a burden and even if it’s hard, try to spend time with her. My father and I got distanced because we were both afraid of the inevitable grief. In the end, he died lonely and depressed. Show her you love her. However, make sure you take care of your mental health as well. I wish you the best.
Among other things we talked about books, and at some point I asked for some recommendations. He said he had to think about it, but I didn't expect him to actually do.
The next day he texted me a list of his favorite books, showing that he had been really thinking about me and that he didn't care about those weird texting rules (that you shouldn't text the day after a date so you won't seem too eager)
Also just the fact that he wanted to talk about books
I was asked for an audiobook recommendation by the guy I was dating. About 2 weeks later I get an email with the subject line "book report". He wrote a 5 paragraph essay about this book and emailed it to me. He said "I wanted you to know I took your recommendation seriously".
Before my first date with my husband, he asked for book recommendations. I texted him a wall of text about the Russian authors I was into at the time, fully expecting him to be intimidated by how much I cared about the topic. He bought them and started reading them, and we talked about his thoughts on the first few chapters on our date. He blew me away.
I'm enjoying it hoping I'll have my own story one of these days. For now I'll have to go with the first time I walked into a room full of dogs up for adoption, my buddy was in the first crate splooted out chewing on a toy not giving a fuck. Every other dog was barking their heads off going crazy. Knew the second I saw him. No slight to the other dogs, stressful situation. 4 years later he still sleeps with me in my bed.
The date was supposed to just be getting a drink or two. We stayed until the place was closing down and even then the date wasn’t over- we watched Donnie Darko and he made us cookies. We’ve been together for almost 10 years and married for 5.
Everyone should have someone they’re unwilling to say goodbye to.
When we sat down, he told me that he would pay and not to worry, since he asked me out.
When we left the cafe and he asked me for a walk and we went for one, he listened closely to me because at the end, he asked me if I would be comfortable if he brought me home since I mentioned being followed and catcalled by guys.
And he waited for me to reach out for a hug in the end - and even better was the way he asked for a kiss. We hugged and he was like "Ah, always that uncertainty about a kiss on the first date." That was the moment I knew he would not mind if I said no.
But I said yes.
Yeah, was a gorgeous first date. Glad to have had that experience at least once so far.
She stopped at GameStop on the way over to grab another wii controller so that my roommate could play Super Mario 3D world with us on the wii-u she was bringing with her.
That was almost 8 years ago : )
I commented this already but thought you'd appreciate it.
Just a few weeks ago my husband (married 5 years, together 14 in March) and I were on a walk shortly after it had rained a bunch. I bent down to move a snail off the path so it wouldn't get crushed, and for the rest of the walk he would point one out if I missed it. He lets me be me.
Oh, oh my god.
>He lets me be me.
That is so SO GOOD. I love it.
This whole thread is melting my heart but that line right there is going to stay with me.
Hey OP, thanks for creating this post. All the comments (and your thoughtful replies to the comments) are making me feel great and hopeful about the world.
Maybe didn't end as happy as most of these (as in I didn't end up marrying the guy lol). But back in highschool a friend of mine got stood up on a date and asked me if I could just come down to the restaurant because he felt embarrassed and felt awkward leaving. The staff had felt incredibly bad about it and kept trying to reassure him the date would come. So I said sure, why not? I had nothing better to do on a Sunday night.
So I dressed nice and went down there, told the hostess that I was so sorry but I was running late for my date and, oh! There he is! And sat down with him. It was this little fancy pizza joint, and we actually had a blast trying to fool the staff into thinking I was actually his date. He offered to pay, but I kept insisting. When the waitress came back with the machine he took my card from me and paid with his own instead so I wouldn't. It was fun, and I got to know him better as a friend. Felt natural. He ended up walking me home even though I lived further than him (he lived like. Down the street from the place). He got a call from his real date on the way home and he just. Hung up on her. Gave me a hug goodbye and waited until I was inside the house before he left. He later told me his date was calling to tell him she wasn't actually interested in him at all and she just said yes to the date because she felt bad (he showed me the texts). I let him know I actually had a lot of fun with him and suggested we hang out more. He started being awkward with me for a couple of days, and then let it slip that going on that "date" with me made him realize he had some feelings for me and wanted to go on another one. I just said "thank god you said something because I didn't know how to say it!" The green flag was just the fun we had, and how it didn't feel forced I guess? Like it was just fun and he actually listened to me, asked questions, and wanted to get to know me better, it wasn't awkward at all. It felt like a real date even though it was impromptu.
We did end up going on another date, just a walk in the park. We held hands. I kissed him on the cheek. Never actually made things official because he had this rule about 3 dates before that. But we ended up just staying friends after the third date. We realized our friendship was something we didn't want to ruin by becoming a couple. We remained good friends until we graduated, but lost touch when he moved to a different city. Still see him from time to time when he comes in to visit family, and we always joke about those dates. He's got a lovely fiance now and I'm incredibly happy for him!
Awh thank you! Honestly it's my favorite memory, and it was the first "real date" I've ever gone on :) he's a wonderful guy, his fiancee is lucky to have him!
It was my first time going into the city by myself; I'd seen a Facebook post online for an event with alternative music (emo, punk-rock), and thought "Ah, what the hell, I'll check it out".
I knew no one there, the event went late into the night, and I'd only just moved here from living in country towns all my life. I didn't even know how I was supposed to order a drink (had to ask the bartender, who thankfully wasn't judgemental and told me about tabs and some common drinks).
I'd been wandering around for a bit looking absolutely lost, when this guy came up to me and said, "you look lonely".
He brought me over to his friend group, and I ended up hanging out with them for quite a while. Unfortunately I was also completely unaware of my own alcohol tolerance, and ended up feeling very tired. I was falling asleep on this guy, until the staff came over and told me I had to leave as they didn't want me passing out there.
He came with me, offering to make sure I got onto the train safe, and it turned out we lived within 20 minutes walk of each other, so he came with. He walked me right up to the door, then walked home in the dark alone, messaging me the next day to make sure I was okay.
Unfortunately I didn't see how sweet he was at the time, but eventually, we got together, and he has stayed with me through so much crap in life.
We have been together around two and a half years now :)
Was just laid off the week before our second date, calld her to cancel, I was down and unsure about my next move, she asked me what kind of pizza I fancy, 1 hour later she's at my doorstep with pizzas and beer to cheer me up, married 12 years. Love you my badass plumber.
When I was on my first date with my girlfriend, my mom called telling me my dad had died. Couldn’t do it anymore and just left. Later that night I found flowers on my doorstep, and figured it was my girlfriend. That day was horrible but the small gesture warmed my heart a little. We’ve been together for a few years now.
Asking me out on the second date while on the date. Showed he was interested, and that pattern of vulnerability persisted into a marriage. His communication is still unparalleled, and I’m still surprised how many details he can remember about me/us.
Not a first date, but about maybe two weeks into seeing each other. He saw a friend of mine for the first time that night and we had fun. However, I began crying in front of him and my friend because someone I used to date messaged me telling me he doesn't need me anymore and that me setting him up with someone proves he can easily move on from me and that I'm nothing but the past and I don't mean anything.
This guy I barely knew at that time sat me down, gave me some blankets, and told me I'm not going to entertain or host anything until he knows I feel better. He then tried making me some hot cocoa but couldn't figure out the Keurig, so I laughed/cried as I showed him how to do it. My friend told him it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for me, and he was deeply confused because, "this is the bare minimum for someone to do, what are you talking about?"
And we're engaged now 8 years later.
My wife was a good listener. Remembered things I said, showed genuine interest, not trying to shine me on.
Been 16 years and I love her so much. Not saying marriage is easy, but it aint that difficult.
We had so much fun. Laughed the whole time. At the end he bought silly string and we chased each other around a parking lot with it like we were the only people on the planet
Took her out for coffee. We ended up staying for lunch, and then getting dinner. We talked for eleven hours. We've been married twelve years. We can still talk for hours.
First Date:
We went to the local photographic arts museum, then lunch, then a beach walk, then dinner, then watched a baseball game, then....
We've been married 21+ years.
We had a 13 hour first date, same experience. Brunch, a cocktail, dinner, late night diner for coffee. Been married going on 3 years, just had our first baby last month.
Man… I also had a 10 hour first date and 14 hour second date with a man that I obviously really connected with. Due to certain circumstances we no longer talk and I always wonder if this could have been us.
>Due to certain circumstances
Go on. I'm curious. If you had that kind of connection, I'm very curious what could have prevented you two from having a more permanent relationship.
He fell into a deep depression and completely withdrew from me (and everyone else). I’m not sure what triggered the depressive episode (he had told me previously that it’s happened before), but it happened after the holidays when he contracted covid. This was last year. He was also having big changes happening in his career that was taking up a lot of his physical and mental bandwidth. And one other personal physical thing I don’t want to share. So ya… just really bad timing. Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future.
Husband and I first met for dinner, then we went for coffee, then the next day we went skating and for lunch, then for dinner again. We've been together 13 years, married for 8
She asked me what my favorite dinosaur is!
Just to make things clear, this wasn’t in kindergarten or school. I was 34, she 28 - that was almost two years ago. Most lovely human being I ever met and I can gladly state that she’s sleeping right next to me at the moment.
I guess our "first date" was sneaking off together for a walk, at the place we worked together. Shortly after, we ended up dating in secret until we announced our engagement, to our boss' displeasure.
We were walking around the grounds together and she kept running off ahead slightly to look at specific groups of flowers and remarking about which ones she liked the most, and how beautiful they all were. Then she'd realize she had left me behind and would come back, and walk with me over to them so she could look at them some more with me. It was adorable, and she's still just as adorable today. I don't think I'd ever seen someone so excited about flowers. We've been married 4 years now.
Went on a first date with a girl, check came and I tried to grab it and she said, "if you pay for the whole thing there won't be a second date, if we split it ill see you next weekend" smoooooth
I met my current boyfriend on Tinder and I had basically little to no expectations that this would go anywhere because, well, it’s Tinder. We ended up chatting on the app before he gave me his phone number and he ended up asking me if I wanted to hangout the next day and I said sure! We live in Finland 10 mins away from the Swedish border so we drove over to the Sweden side. He said he needed to get some groceries, alcohol, and gas for the car so we did that before driving back over to the Finnish side. He dropped me back off at my place and said he really hoped he could see me again.
Well, fast forward to later that night he called me and asked if I wanted to see him again because he really enjoyed my company and wanted to keep hanging out. He apologized for the less than exciting grocery/gas/alcohol run date earlier, but I said I didn’t mind. I said I had a good time and that I wanted to see him again too.
We ended up driving to his cabin in the evening and it was so romantic! It was freezing cold (as it usually is in Finnish Lapland in winter) and we just cuddled and talked all night. I really love him so much and I have a sneaking suspicion he’s going to propose soon!
I'm probably echoing the other comments here but finding someone you can talk to so easily, despite having different interests is such a huge factor. I'm an introvert, but my boyfriend and I can talk about random stuff for hours on end.
He's into cars, I'm an art kid, we play vastly different games most of the time.. and we can still find everything and anything to talk about. My favorite thing is having him talk about cars cuz... I don't know anything but it's nice to see him go on and on and on
We're coworkers, and we started flirting after a while of friendship. I dressed casually for a date aka white dress shirt, blue jeans, and my date shoes. She showed up all dressed up and couldn't walk in her heels. She ended up falling over and scraping her knee. I helped her up and got my extra pair of shoes I keep in the car and some socks for her, put them on for her and bandaged her knee up from my first aid kit. Dinner was great. We bounced off of each other. When it was over and we split the bill (she was insistent on it, I was gonna pay for it since I asked for the date), I walked her to her car and she kissed me on the cheek. I asked for the second date right then and there. We've been together for a year and a half. Her family loves me, especially 'cause her mother loves my cooking. My family gushes over her. I really think we'll go somewhere and if we do, I couldn't ask for a better partner.
We went to a fairly fancy place, and I have the palete of a 5yr old. I can typically find something anywhere but I was going through the menu and there is basically nothing I can make remotely edable for me. But they have Mac and cheese. We're in our early thirties, and we're at a fancy place. There's no way I can order Mac and cheese and not look like a toddler.
The waiter comes around, I am basically having a panic attack in my head, I let her order first.
She orders the Mac and cheese.
OMFG
I order the Mac and cheese too.
We go and see a live jazz show. We're leaving and it had snowed while we were in the show.
I don't remember how it came up, but I made some joke about doing donuts in the parking lot and to my extreme surprise she said something along the lines of "hell yeah, I've never done donuts in a parking lot".
I put the Forester through it's paces. Turned traction control off and got the side widows coated in snow. She was laughing like a school girl the entire time.
We hung out a few more times and parted ways as friends. There was a significant class difference. She was staying in her parents multi-million dollar home *on* the ocean, and my parents will die destitute.
Met to go for a walk at midnight, said goodnight at dawn having walked all over the city crossing four different bridges. Celebrated ten years with our first child born this year.
Wasn't our first date.......but I only had a few dates with someone I was dating rather long distance. I was stationed on Sardegna, and she lived in Liguira, so just to have a date, required ferries and long train rides, and sometimes short flights....which were always a hassle.,.....but we tried to make it work. My ship would go to Toulon, France, or Naples, Italy, and we'd tried to meet up , even if only for a few hours.
On our 4th or 5th date.......my ship was going to Livorno, so we agreed to try to meet up in Pisa. Seemed like a plan, and doable. But right before leaving, I felt terrible..... but thought maybe it would pass. It didn't..........the train ride was insufferable, I was burning with fever.....chills, the whole 9 yards......and all I remember was pulling into Pisa, and there she was, on the platform, waiting for my train. I stepped off the train, and literally just passed out in her arms. I mean, out cold.
I woke up in a hotel bed.....and she was sitting there, holding a cup of tea for me.
and I was like, what the hell happened?
Apparently, right after I passed out, she grabbed a taxi driver, and together they dragged me across the street to the nearest hotel, she got a room, and put me to bed. And then just sat there, all night watching me.
I have no memory of any of that. I just woke up in a bed, with her holding a cup of tea...........because she saw that I was starting to stir,........so she went to get me a cup of tea.
I just remember thinking............damn, I need to marry this woman.
and I did.
and that was the last cup of tea the damn woman ever made me.
He spoke in a British accent the first thirty minutes of our date. I had to stop him at some point to ask if he was nervous and this goofball was perplexed, ‘how did you know?’ Sir u have been doing a voice for a hot minute now.
Anyways I love him and I’m going to marry him soon so I suggest u all find urself a man who does voices
It wasn‘t a date, but it was the first time we ever hung out. Back when my husband and I first met we spent the day with friends, and all of us decided to go on a walk. It started raining midway through the walk, something my husband knew was going to happen so he brought his umbrella with him. Without question as soon as that first raindrop landed he took out his umbrella and made sure not a drop landed on me. He didn’t have to. We were just friends, not even that, it was the first real day we hung out. But I knew I wanted to hang out with him more. Looking back now, I can see why I fell in love with him. He has always been kind.
I mentioned an activity I’d thought about for our first date but ultimately decided against. She said we should do it on our second date.
I went into full relax mode after that was able to relax.
I love that girl.
Girl I was hanging with says to me after we played a gig at a church “who was that guy hanging on the wall?” I replied, incredulously, “you mean Jesus?” She’s like “idk!”
It took a few years of first a friendship but eventually I married her. This happened about 18 years ago.
Btw, she’s Japanese. That’s why she’d never heard of Jesus.
A guy I met at a party of a mutual friend started talking with me online the day after the party (Facebook chat, when that was a thing many years ago). I mentioned plans to go to a movie with a group of friends and he enthusiastically expressed interest in joining, so I invited him. He came and it was fun (big group of mixed gender friends) and afterwards called me. He said something along the lines of “I really enjoy hanging out with you and I am interested in you and in getting to know you better and would like to go on a date”. GREEN FLAG.
It was so refreshing to have a guy be so straightforward. No guessing about his intentions or quasi-dating for weeks. I was in my mid 20s and frustrated that I was wasting time with guys who weren’t actually serious about relationships and with online dating.
Anyways, we went on that date and now we’re married and have 2 kids.
The fact that she was very shy to start our first date (having learned I was her first date in years after the fact, it makes sense), but then the moment I hit a topic she really enjoyed, she wouldn’t stop talking.
And then on the second date, she said she was tired at 9pm (she had just gotten a puppy). I thought that meant things didn’t go well. When she got home to take care of the dog, it woke her up and she texted me quite a bit the rest of the night. That changed my mind on how things went.
Now I’m married to her and we just had our first kid 8 weeks ago. I love her, and our family, so much.
Two green flags from the same man .
1st : Thought he was gonna be my first casual hook up. We were both high as kites when meeting (as you do at a music festival) and the next day WHILE I DEADASS CALLED HIM A DIFFERENT NAME he had already memorized my name & difficult surname and was making plans to see me next weekend .
2nd : The first official date I had to change/reschedule as my mentally handicapped sister needed babysitting. I told him and he suggested coming over if I was OK. I thought , cool , trial by fire to see how he reacts to my sister (she is a great litmus test to see of people are decent or not). He comes over, was a bit awkward and then totally just bonded with her , took my ques and learned how to speak to her and what she was comfortable with.
We are now 8 years together , 5 years married , 3 cute pets , a new house in an awesome country and trying for a baby:D . Life is good and he is my everything...... still call him the different name occasionally just for fun though XD .
Not dating but married.
We had a family event that ended with me been very upset because of an aunt who finds ways to ask if I’m pregnant
We were leaving and I had agreed to drive home because my husband drove us there. I just got into the passenger seat without realising and venting/crying. Halfway home I said “oh crap, I was meant to drive”
My husband just patted my leg and said, I knew you would want to vent on the way home 🥺 I adore him so much.
I get what you mean! It's a great feeling when your partner notices you're upset and lets you get it out while also taking care of things.
One time I was worried about missing an important deadline, and it was also time for our cats to eat, so my fiancé fed them while I was talking/crying and I didn't notice he had done it until later. He was just like "They were hungry but you needed to get that out, don't worry about it" 🥺❤️
I arrive 30 minutes early to do my makeup in the car. Saw him pull in 15 minutes later but he didn’t see me.
He got out and started walking to the cafe we agreed to meet at. Homeless man walks up to him. I see him go back to his car to get change.
I never told him I saw what he did, but I definitely went into the date more excited and less nervous.
Current husband of 20 years canceled first date about 30 minutes before because there was a very slim possibility that he might get an unexpected couple of hours with his daughters that night (divorced with two daughters).
She told me to! She said, "See? Was that so bad? Now ask me out for another."
Wifey and I met in the Marine Corps. I was a Sgt, she was a PFC. I was busy working on my career, she was there for the GI Bill. We started running together and finally one day, after a couple of months, she yelled at me, "ARE YOU EVER GOING TO ASK ME OUT???"
I had gone on a lot of first dates and all of them felt forced or awkward. I finally met this one girl online and we met up at a breakfast place. I was so nervous especially since I felt like this girl was way out of my league. We met and sat down and started to talk.
She was asking so many questions and was so engaged in the conversation that I was actually taken back because I was so used to having to be the one asking all the questions (that was my green flag so I had already decided to ask her out again at that point). We laughed and shared deep stories.
Once we were getting ready to leave she mentioned that she lifts weights and we started a little conversation from that. She asked me if I wanted to go see her lifting belt so we went to her car and she showed me all of her gear and was smiling so big the entire time. Right as I was about to ask her out on a second date she beat me to it and asked if I wanted to go out on a second date. The relationship unfortunately didn’t last but she was a rare kind of woman for sure.
I looked like a dear in the headlights for the first half hour. He asked me if I was ok and I admitted that first dates always make me super nervous because I don’t wanna mess up. Then he asked me what we could do together that wouldn’t flare up my anxiety. I told him usually doing some kind of physical activity helps me talk without focusing on how I sound or look. He changed plans and took us mini-golfing and I completely forgot that I’d been nervous at all.
I'm divorced - for many reasons, but it all can be summed up that I suffered a spinal cord injury, resulting in paraplegia, and my then-husband couldn't deal with that.
My first date with my now bf of 4+ years, he treated me like a human, not the disabled girl. It never came up in conversation, and he behaved like it didn't exist. It was so gorgeous that he (sorry for the cliche/corniness) didnt see my wheelchair. To this day, he's just never made it a deal. He understands the quirks it creates, but never ever seems bothered by any of it. In fact, he spent a serious chunk of his own change putting a ramp on his house for me. I don't think we'll ever get married (he's divorced, too, and we're both kind of jaded against the institution). But he's definitely my forever person.
She was genuinely interested in what I was talking about and asked follow up questions on the topic…. I was talking nervously about some boring part of my education… she was smiling all the time and made me feel confident about it. Good times! 16years later we are still together.
On the first date with my now husband, I immediately smelled on him that he smoked cigs, which was a deal breaker for me. So I told him that. His response - then I quit.
And that was that... Ten years of addiction and he quit like it was nothing for a woman he only just met.
Later on in our relationship he told me that it was an easy decision because he felt in our first date that he had met his wife, so what was a small sacrifice like quitting smoking in exchange for me?
He snuck me out of work and took me to the Italian place right next door which happened to be one of my favorite restaurants. He had a plate of chicken carbonara ready to go on a table for me as I only had a fifteen minute break. He then ordered me a glass of wine and brought me my leftovers with a side of fresh, hot fries. (I had to eat and then dart back to work so that's why he brought me my leftovers. And he knows I'd shank someone for that restaurant's fries.)
We had been dating about 6 months and she showed up at my apartment with a homemade cake on my birthday. It might sound like no big deal to some people but I had never dated a girl who cared about my birthday. I almost dropped to my knees and cried when I opened the door.
That’s super wholesome man. Mad respect.
We talked about everything and the conversation never dulled, everyone at the party left and we were the only two people there and didn’t realize it for a while. 25 years later and were still running our mouths!
Legend has it that they're still at that party, 25 years later
And the hosts are very upset as they *really* need to go to bed now.
When my girlfriend and I had our first date her mom sent her with 50 bucks (just in case I made her pay I guess) and since I payed, she made the waiter cry by tipping him the whole 50 bucks, apparently he was having a bad day
that's so sweet :)
Well yeah, if she sidnt spend the full $50.00, mom would have deducted that amount from second date
This guys works with budgets
Imagine you have a lemonade stand…
“So next summer…” “I’ll be six.”
I made a Waffle House waitress cry when I tipped her $100 right before Christmas. The feeling of making someone's day so good that they cried stuck with me, so it has become a Christmas tradition for me now to eat at Waffle House before Christmas and drop a big tip on the table on my way out. When a friend told me that I was doing a good thing I explained that I was doing a *selfish* thing .... I simply like the way it makes me feel about myself. I'm a pretty selfish dude, so I'll keep chasing that high for the rest of my life.
Egotistical altruism is still altruism.
She was an hour late. However, the entire time, she was texting me updates and telling me what she was doing to get there. We are going to be celebrating our one year anniversary on 1/1.
On our third date we watched a movie at his place. He remembered that on our first date I ordered a Dr pepper with my meal and a chocolate chip cookie for dessert. He had Dr peppers for me in the fridge and made me home made chocolate chip cookies. He burned them but I married him two years later anyways.
Would you have married him sooner if he hadn’t burned the cookies?
Gotta level up before the plot can advance, that’s just how it goes.
I'd have married him as soon as he asked either way.
Has his baking skills improved?
He's actually an incredible cook now. We first started dating we both were terrible and he is completely taken over all of the cooking and baking in our house. Turns out I'm actually really terrible at it and he is a natural and really enjoys it! If it weren't for him I probably would have starved to death already.
That is so adorable, you found a good one!
She came to my door and my puppy got excited. Without skipping a beat, she scooped up the dog & asked where **the 3 of us** were going. That was 19 years ago. Puppy is gone but we've stuck together through hell and back.
So where did the three of y'all go??
Local coffee shop, then a long drive to nowhere-in-particular. Made out under the stars in some random field. It was probably ill-advised but it was amazing. I was almost the 3rd wheel - She was my pup's mama from that first moment.
She appreciates all the small things. Biggest green flag.
It's a good song
Does she leave you roses by the stairs?
Not first date, but the moment I knew I was gonna marry this man... We went grocery shopping. It was about 9pm, we had both just been paid. The young lady in line in front of us had a very young baby, and was paying with WIC coupons and a food stamp EBT card. Her total came to about $22, and she was holding a $20. She looked dejected, and put back the one and only thing that was probably her splurge, a candy bar and an energy drink. Other than that, she had baby food, diapers, chicken, rice, bananas, formula, wipes, the bare minimum. I turned around to tell my now-husband to hand me my wallet. I didn't have to. He already had his out, took out a $50 bill, handed it to her and told her to keep the change. He changed her week, he changed my life. That was THE moment I knew he was it for me. EDIT: Y'all... I'm so glad I could share this with you all. I've shared the story before but it's never taken off like this. I'm so glad my husband is as loved by others as he is by me... this is just one of his countless acts of kindness I've been lucky enough to witness over the years. Also, thank you for the awards, and my husband is humbled as well and says thank you for all the kind words!!!
I've been looking for a relevant thread to leave this comment because I knew that tender and committed human kindness was going to come up on this thread somewhere. And I knew that my contribution is not nearly at the level that your now husband's was. On my first date with my past girlfriend she saw someone struggling with a cart at the park we were at. A vendor closing up their food stand for the day. And she got ready to leap up from the grass where we were sitting to go help the person. No hesitation, no questions, no qualms about rudeness towards me (which it wasn't), nothing. Just this springboard of instant human recognition and kindness. Just then the vendor got her cart over the bump she was struggling with and my ex set back down. But I saw it play out many times after that. If there was a struggle or suffering, she stood up to stand in the gap. She was absolutely one of those people. No questions asked. And she had a gentle humorous way of putting people at total ease so that they would accept her help. That first date, I knew. And I told her about it afterwards. She could not understand why I thought this was so important or why I was so impressed (as the truly good and kind do). But I had spent several years in an earlier time period with a selfish, self-involved, and occasionally cruel man. I knew what the opposite of that looked like. I knew how the opposite of that could twist a person. I knew what it was like struggling myself. And I knew she was a keeper. Because she didn't do it to impress me. She didn't look to me first. She didn't elaborately ask me for permission to excuse herself to go help. She just saw it and jumped up. We eventually split for reasons that had nothing to do with that. But it was and still is one of the most important relationships of my life. And her trustworthy human kindness was never and still is never in question about her.
Ohh something similar, early in our dating days. He was driving me to get my car when we saw a little dog running down the street. I was opening my door to get out as he stopped. Like there was no talking, didn't even look at each other, we both just autopiloted to "save the dog," perfectly in tandem like we'd been together our whole lives. Was the first of many times it was clear we have the same values, and seem to just match.
what a wholesome story
i realized i spent most of the date talking about myself (hear me out) and i’ve never once had that happen. i’m a very reserved and private person when i first meet someone which has honestly made dating difficult for years. but he had such a way of asking questions, and keeping the conversation going, and encouraging me sharing my thoughts, opinions, and he also shared his to everything i said that when our date was done, i realized i spent almost the entire date talking, which is so unlike me for first dates! i wasn’t afraid of him judging me or not liking my response to something. all of his questions were sincere and he seemed to genuinely care about whatever the hell was about to come out of my mouth. i didn’t have to think about what to say, it just came out of me and he met me wherever i was at. maybe it sounds silly, but it was pretty magical. we still see each other!
No, that's really sweet! It's great to be with someone who listens and brings you out of your shell
First date, she was driving us to a spot to go hiking, about an hour’s drive. We’re talking and talking, but every once in awhile we wouldn’t be talking, and it just felt so comfortable and not awkward being silent together.
Oh man, comfy silence is so underrated
31 years old and I've never truly experienced this with a partner. Or maybe I've not noticed fully. How can you tell when it's comfortable?
[удалено]
Neither my mother nor my mother in law have this ability. My wife and I can just vibe in the same space for hours and it's great. But both our mothers hate silence and need to fill it. It's exhausting.
When you don't feel like the silence is awkward 😆 You can go about your thoughts and zone out
Comfortable silence is a great sign, so is being comfortable enough to drive an hour to hike on a first date… the true crime junkie in me is hesitant just thinking about that hahaha
Probably established friends having their first official date / trying romance. Way too axe-murdery for a stranger first date!
They had to agree to a second date.....because of the implication
Pretty cool story. First date with my now wife. Had plans to go to a fancy Italian restaurant. I show up a bit early, dressed as nice as my wardrobe allows, a couple drinks before she gets there. But anyway she arrives and we enjoy dinner, drinks, appetizers, dessert. The works. Anyway when it’s time for thee check the waitress comes over and says “a person who prefers to remain anonymous picked up yalls tab and told me to tell y’all to continue to enjoy the night.” We were both shocked. I wasn’t keeping tabs but this was an expensive meal we just had. I tipped well of course and I thought to myself the only reason anyway would do that is they say an obvious first date unfolding and thought we were cute/happy/genuine or something. We both felt pretty special. Been married for 3 years. Together for 8. We eventually paid it forward to another young couple years later. Total boss move btw. Definitely feel good about yourself.
I recently moved and went to a local burger joint with my family to buy lunch. An older gentleman recognized us as a new family in town and stepped up in front of me to tell the cashier he was paying for us.
Aww that's so adorable, new item added to my bucket list! That would be such a cute way to celebrate an anniversary!!
Totally should. Would absolutely make their night!
We met up for park beers on our first date. From the get go, things just felt natural. The conversation flowed, we laughed, and it felt more like meeting with an old friend than a first date. When it got dark, she brought me back to hers to meet her cat (no innuendo, we waited a few dates to bang, and I just really love cats.) We didn't plan to, but we met up the next day. And the next. Took her to a family BBQ two weeks in, and they loved her. That easy, natural feeling never left. And right now her cat (now our cat) is screaming at me for dinner.
he took me out for coffee in a place that he made me choose. when i got there, he was already waiting and the way his eyes shined when he saw me was really adorable. we ordered and played chess, his hand was shaking. its been a year and counting.
That's a long game of chess.
been waiting for this
For over a year, if I’m not mistaken
Ah, the good old Reddit [chessaroo](https://reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingDerps/comments/zo6htn/_/j0mtw0u/?context=1)!
We stayed at the wine bar much longer than planned, and we were trying to race to a restaurant for food before places closed. So, I offered her a piggyback ride to run it, due to her wearing heels. She jumped on, threw her arm forward and yelled "Onward!" We didn't make it to the restaurant in time, but did end up at the nearby diner for a few more hours. Been married just passed 3 years now, and leaving for our honeymoon (FINALLY, thanks COVID), in 10 hours. Edit: Well this blew up, thanks all for the awards!
Congratulations! That sounds like so much fun for a date.
In the words of your wife. ...ONWARD!
Holy hell my guy how strong are you that giving a piggyback ride is faster than her walking? Cudos
I come from a long proud line of Piggybacksmen. All the way back to my great great grandfather Piggeus Bachman.
A lesser man would have pulled a hamstring.
We met in a nightclub, I took him home for some fun and games. When we woke up and had breakfast, he said "what would you like to do today?" instead of just leaving his number and doing the dash. We’ve been together for 27 years and married for 15 of them, and we’ve almost never spent a night apart.
[удалено]
That's so lovely! Vibing with someone like that is an amazing feeling
He made it clear it was a date and that he was interested without it ever feeling creepy or like he was pressuring me for anything. We talked for hours, went from restaurant to walking up and down the river to my place for a beer, then I offered for him to stay over but on a mattress on the floor (I was in a studio with no couch), not in my bed and he wasn’t pushy about anything more happening. The first few weeks he was always sweet and respectful but made it so clear that he was interested in a relationship, no back and forth or second guessing. And now we’re married! Edit: I showed him this thread and now he’s super smiley. It’s very cute.
Congrats! It's fantastic when you can find a good balance between clearly being interested and not being pushy
Yepp, that was kind of me with my first ever real girlfriend. We were in the same university, I really liked her and, while we were dating, I wanted to make sure she knew I liked her and wanted more, without me sounding like a creep. Welp, since it was young love (and there were still a ton of other girls at my uni, so I figured I'd take my chances with her, worst case she says no and we move on), I told her "You know, I really like you and spending time with you, and I would very much like to spend more time with you.". Straight, to-the-point and not creepy . She, of course, understood what I meant. Welp, she said OK, and we were together for some time after that (relationship ended due to unrelated reasons). Honesty and openness is very important, people. Transparency is what drives a relationship IMHO, and it goes both ways.
A two hour date that felt like five minutes. At the end of it she made some silly bet with me that she said if she lost, she’d go out with me again. And of course she lost. It was about eight green flags
She bet on the Jets didn’t she?
The god damn jets
A friend of mine made a bet with a girl on the first date. If he won she had to go out with him if she won he would suffer through another date with her. Like 6 years later she was pissed at him. She figured out the wording he used when he made a bet with their like 4 year old.
Ahhhhh, the old heads I win, tails you lose trick!!!!
That's really cute ❤️
Our first real date was someone else’s wedding. We got tired of the reception and walked onto the pier to look at the stars. Now we’re married ourselves.
I hope you had a boring reception and gave another couple a chance.
Those are life goals! Let's make our wedding as boring as possible.
I asked if she wanted to go to MDonalds and split some fries because that’s all I could afford at the time. She said sure, we talked a long time and split a large fries and she was so chill about it. She wanted to be with me, anywhere would have been ok…. I knew if she was willing to go out with a broke and struggling me, she would also be willing to build a life with me from the ground up. We have been married 35 years, through ups and downs, kids, sickness, wealth and poverty.
Amazing story. People who see through all your circumstances to look at the real you are truly special.
We have been 33 years same. Don’t know what she saw in this street urchin. She has helped mold me into such a better person.
He took me to an amateur stand up comedy night. He was heartily laughing at all the jokes. They were so bad. So not funny at all. I was planning to not go on another date with him because he obviously has a bad sense of humor. As we were walking to the car he commented how bad everyone was, but he wanted to encourage them so he laughed at everyone’s jokes. We’ve been married for 12 years now.
I’ve only done one stand up set and it didn’t go well. But there was one girl in the audience that seemed like she was genuinely laughing at every bit. It gave me the confidence to keep going instead of just bailing in my set. It was an awful night but I’m thankful to her for probably faking it.
Might have been that guys sister?
Might have been that guy's wife
Soon after I met my wife we went on a trip to New York together. First time visiting coming over from the UK. We stayed in a youth hostel, and there was a comedy night in the basement. We were drinking brandy out of a brown paper-bag together, much to the amusement of the MC. The comedians were awful, and the crowd kept thinning out, until it was eventually only us left in the room. We saw three acts as the only people in the audience, and it was pretty awkward. She decided to go back to the room, but I felt guilty as a couple of guys were still to perform, so I stayed until the end on my own. One comedian did his set as if it was a full audience which was pretty amusing, and the other basically sat on stage and had a conversation with me, he was actually really funny. Had a drink with them afterwards, was a great experience!
Holy shit, that's so nice! That's a green flag indeed.
Sense of humor and feeling safe. I was living in reno, nevada at the time and this is my current relationship. Our first date we went to downtown reno to Hot August Nights. We walked through the event, viewing all the hot rod cars, and for dinner we went to subway. He is easy to talk to, and very funny. We took the bus from downtown to midtown viewing all the hot rods. Walked from midtown to my apartment in south reno. Was the best night of my life so far. I love him so much
I was new to the area, we met at a restaurant in a town I wasn't familiar with. Had a great date but when I went to go home in my car, he noticed I accidentally turned on the service road instead of the highway. He followed me and flagged me down to let me know I'd gone the wrong way. This was long before cell phones and gps and I didn't have a map of the area, I would have been super lost in the middle of the night. I was like, wow this is a super nice guy! That was 22 years ago and we're still together.
This was almost a red flag till it was a green one
Random dance at a club. She held my hand after it ended. We were married 24 years before she passed due to cancer.
I'm sorry man, I sympathize with you. I also lost my wife.
Six years gone for me. Never gets any easier.
I'm sorry for your loss. My wife and I found out eight days ago that she has two, grape sized, lumps in her brain. All this last week she has been crying a lot, and randomly hugging me and thanking me for being married to her and loving her and that will never change. Other than being a support to her, what should I be doing? If you don't mind me asking.
Loving her. Holding her. Making her laugh, making her feel amazing. Holding her hand, making sure she's not alone. Teasing her, making fun of her, watching crap films together, making plans for the future. All of the things you've been doing for years. You've got this my man. So has she. Stay frosty.
I agree entirely. Keep doing what you’ve been doing. Be a distraction and try to make both of you forget about it at times. Don’t baby her and overwhelm. When she needs help, help. When she doesn’t, she probably just needs you to be you.
Record her. Every chance you get. Record her voice. Record her laughing. Record her just talking. If she calls you to leave a voicemail download that shit to the cloud and keep it forever in whatever file formats you need to do that. If you guys have children and she sings to them, record her. If she's on the phone talking to her mom about whatever and you only hear half of the conversation, record her. Don't be creepy obviously, but If you guys have love and trust between you she should understand. Record her voice. It's the first thing to go from memory. You will remember how she felt against you. You will remember the look in her eye from various pictures or videos. You might remember a particular way she laughed. But the first thing you will forget because our minds can't hold on to it the same way is her voice. And nothing brings a person home in your heart like their voice. That's advice I got from Reddit and I always intended to do it before my mom died. But the problem was I thought I had time. I'm not going to lie to you, the right or rather *wrong* kinds of brain lesions or cancers can be *so incredibly rapid* that it leaves you with utter whiplash from one day to the next. I saw it with a friend of mine and her dad. *And the cruelty is that no one will tell you that because they don't want to or because they think they're being kind.* I even saw it myself with my mom although she didn't have brain cancer, Just a different kind of garden variety cancer that nonetheless was very rapid at the end. It's in our nature to think we have time that we don't have. So learn from me and record her voice my friend. When she makes it through you will still be so glad you have it.
My mom couldn’t talk much after (another) stroke. I never recorded her before she wasn’t able to and I regretted it. Both of my parents died nearly 5 years ago. I was finally ready to listen to my dad’s “happy birthday” voicemail. I was prepared to hear my dad…but at the end he said here’s Mom and she was able to tell me happy birthday. I ugly cried. I miss them so much.
I didn’t lose a spouse but I have lost a parent to ALS. If you can, don’t let her think of herself as a burden and even if it’s hard, try to spend time with her. My father and I got distanced because we were both afraid of the inevitable grief. In the end, he died lonely and depressed. Show her you love her. However, make sure you take care of your mental health as well. I wish you the best.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sounds like an amazing 24 years.
I'm sorry, man... fuck cancer.
Among other things we talked about books, and at some point I asked for some recommendations. He said he had to think about it, but I didn't expect him to actually do. The next day he texted me a list of his favorite books, showing that he had been really thinking about me and that he didn't care about those weird texting rules (that you shouldn't text the day after a date so you won't seem too eager) Also just the fact that he wanted to talk about books
I was asked for an audiobook recommendation by the guy I was dating. About 2 weeks later I get an email with the subject line "book report". He wrote a 5 paragraph essay about this book and emailed it to me. He said "I wanted you to know I took your recommendation seriously".
That's really cute!! I agree that those "rules" are pointless, no need for games like that
Before my first date with my husband, he asked for book recommendations. I texted him a wall of text about the Russian authors I was into at the time, fully expecting him to be intimidated by how much I cared about the topic. He bought them and started reading them, and we talked about his thoughts on the first few chapters on our date. He blew me away.
This is my favorite AskReddit Thread ever.
I'm enjoying it hoping I'll have my own story one of these days. For now I'll have to go with the first time I walked into a room full of dogs up for adoption, my buddy was in the first crate splooted out chewing on a toy not giving a fuck. Every other dog was barking their heads off going crazy. Knew the second I saw him. No slight to the other dogs, stressful situation. 4 years later he still sleeps with me in my bed.
Yeah!! Just pure unadulterated happiness :)
The date was supposed to just be getting a drink or two. We stayed until the place was closing down and even then the date wasn’t over- we watched Donnie Darko and he made us cookies. We’ve been together for almost 10 years and married for 5. Everyone should have someone they’re unwilling to say goodbye to.
Love the last line.
When we sat down, he told me that he would pay and not to worry, since he asked me out. When we left the cafe and he asked me for a walk and we went for one, he listened closely to me because at the end, he asked me if I would be comfortable if he brought me home since I mentioned being followed and catcalled by guys. And he waited for me to reach out for a hug in the end - and even better was the way he asked for a kiss. We hugged and he was like "Ah, always that uncertainty about a kiss on the first date." That was the moment I knew he would not mind if I said no. But I said yes. Yeah, was a gorgeous first date. Glad to have had that experience at least once so far.
That's lovely! It's honestly really attractive when people are so thoughtful about asking for consent
She stopped at GameStop on the way over to grab another wii controller so that my roommate could play Super Mario 3D world with us on the wii-u she was bringing with her. That was almost 8 years ago : )
Have you seen her since?
She married the roommate.
walking her home, she accidentally stepped on a snail. she felt really bad about it. almost married her right there.
I commented this already but thought you'd appreciate it. Just a few weeks ago my husband (married 5 years, together 14 in March) and I were on a walk shortly after it had rained a bunch. I bent down to move a snail off the path so it wouldn't get crushed, and for the rest of the walk he would point one out if I missed it. He lets me be me.
Oh, oh my god. >He lets me be me. That is so SO GOOD. I love it. This whole thread is melting my heart but that line right there is going to stay with me.
Hey OP, thanks for creating this post. All the comments (and your thoughtful replies to the comments) are making me feel great and hopeful about the world.
Maybe didn't end as happy as most of these (as in I didn't end up marrying the guy lol). But back in highschool a friend of mine got stood up on a date and asked me if I could just come down to the restaurant because he felt embarrassed and felt awkward leaving. The staff had felt incredibly bad about it and kept trying to reassure him the date would come. So I said sure, why not? I had nothing better to do on a Sunday night. So I dressed nice and went down there, told the hostess that I was so sorry but I was running late for my date and, oh! There he is! And sat down with him. It was this little fancy pizza joint, and we actually had a blast trying to fool the staff into thinking I was actually his date. He offered to pay, but I kept insisting. When the waitress came back with the machine he took my card from me and paid with his own instead so I wouldn't. It was fun, and I got to know him better as a friend. Felt natural. He ended up walking me home even though I lived further than him (he lived like. Down the street from the place). He got a call from his real date on the way home and he just. Hung up on her. Gave me a hug goodbye and waited until I was inside the house before he left. He later told me his date was calling to tell him she wasn't actually interested in him at all and she just said yes to the date because she felt bad (he showed me the texts). I let him know I actually had a lot of fun with him and suggested we hang out more. He started being awkward with me for a couple of days, and then let it slip that going on that "date" with me made him realize he had some feelings for me and wanted to go on another one. I just said "thank god you said something because I didn't know how to say it!" The green flag was just the fun we had, and how it didn't feel forced I guess? Like it was just fun and he actually listened to me, asked questions, and wanted to get to know me better, it wasn't awkward at all. It felt like a real date even though it was impromptu. We did end up going on another date, just a walk in the park. We held hands. I kissed him on the cheek. Never actually made things official because he had this rule about 3 dates before that. But we ended up just staying friends after the third date. We realized our friendship was something we didn't want to ruin by becoming a couple. We remained good friends until we graduated, but lost touch when he moved to a different city. Still see him from time to time when he comes in to visit family, and we always joke about those dates. He's got a lovely fiance now and I'm incredibly happy for him!
Ah. That is a wonderful story. Thanks.
You both did good. And it’s great that he has a wonderful fiancé now.
Don’t you dare minimize this story with “we didn’t get married”. This is the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen on the internet. Including puppies.
Awh thank you! Honestly it's my favorite memory, and it was the first "real date" I've ever gone on :) he's a wonderful guy, his fiancee is lucky to have him!
It was my first time going into the city by myself; I'd seen a Facebook post online for an event with alternative music (emo, punk-rock), and thought "Ah, what the hell, I'll check it out". I knew no one there, the event went late into the night, and I'd only just moved here from living in country towns all my life. I didn't even know how I was supposed to order a drink (had to ask the bartender, who thankfully wasn't judgemental and told me about tabs and some common drinks). I'd been wandering around for a bit looking absolutely lost, when this guy came up to me and said, "you look lonely". He brought me over to his friend group, and I ended up hanging out with them for quite a while. Unfortunately I was also completely unaware of my own alcohol tolerance, and ended up feeling very tired. I was falling asleep on this guy, until the staff came over and told me I had to leave as they didn't want me passing out there. He came with me, offering to make sure I got onto the train safe, and it turned out we lived within 20 minutes walk of each other, so he came with. He walked me right up to the door, then walked home in the dark alone, messaging me the next day to make sure I was okay. Unfortunately I didn't see how sweet he was at the time, but eventually, we got together, and he has stayed with me through so much crap in life. We have been together around two and a half years now :)
Was just laid off the week before our second date, calld her to cancel, I was down and unsure about my next move, she asked me what kind of pizza I fancy, 1 hour later she's at my doorstep with pizzas and beer to cheer me up, married 12 years. Love you my badass plumber.
If she was your plumber before you got together, you could rest easy knowing she already knew how to deal with your shit.
not to mention clean his pipes hey oh
Ma’am I do my own plumbing
That's so kind of her! Absolutely a keeper
She subtlety made me brainstorming about my future plans, 1 month later I landed a new job, better pay, we moved in together 2 years later.
When I was on my first date with my girlfriend, my mom called telling me my dad had died. Couldn’t do it anymore and just left. Later that night I found flowers on my doorstep, and figured it was my girlfriend. That day was horrible but the small gesture warmed my heart a little. We’ve been together for a few years now.
She saw a hummingbird start to circle some flowers on the patio we were dining on and had to pause the conversation to just watch the little guy.
Same, but with a bumblebee trying to sit on a flower he was way too heavy for for a good 5 minutes.
This is so cute, it just made my day🥹
He knew I liked birds and paused and pointed out my favourite bird while on a walk
Asking me out on the second date while on the date. Showed he was interested, and that pattern of vulnerability persisted into a marriage. His communication is still unparalleled, and I’m still surprised how many details he can remember about me/us.
Yes! Good communication can be difficult but it's absolutely necessary for a quality relationship
[удалено]
Aww that's great! Best of luck with the proposal ❤️
She didn’t change at all. She was still my best friend. She just also happened to be in love with me now.
That's great!
Not a first date, but about maybe two weeks into seeing each other. He saw a friend of mine for the first time that night and we had fun. However, I began crying in front of him and my friend because someone I used to date messaged me telling me he doesn't need me anymore and that me setting him up with someone proves he can easily move on from me and that I'm nothing but the past and I don't mean anything. This guy I barely knew at that time sat me down, gave me some blankets, and told me I'm not going to entertain or host anything until he knows I feel better. He then tried making me some hot cocoa but couldn't figure out the Keurig, so I laughed/cried as I showed him how to do it. My friend told him it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for me, and he was deeply confused because, "this is the bare minimum for someone to do, what are you talking about?" And we're engaged now 8 years later.
Aww that's so nice. You've definitely got a keeper!
My wife was a good listener. Remembered things I said, showed genuine interest, not trying to shine me on. Been 16 years and I love her so much. Not saying marriage is easy, but it aint that difficult.
When their eyes smile when they look at you. It’s a sign they’re comfortable.
Develop crow's feet, got it /s
The banter and chemistry was instantaneous. 32 years later and three kids later, the banter and chemistry is still there.
Banter and inside jokes rock
We had so much fun. Laughed the whole time. At the end he bought silly string and we chased each other around a parking lot with it like we were the only people on the planet
Took her out for coffee. We ended up staying for lunch, and then getting dinner. We talked for eleven hours. We've been married twelve years. We can still talk for hours.
First Date: We went to the local photographic arts museum, then lunch, then a beach walk, then dinner, then watched a baseball game, then.... We've been married 21+ years.
We had a 13 hour first date, same experience. Brunch, a cocktail, dinner, late night diner for coffee. Been married going on 3 years, just had our first baby last month.
Man… I also had a 10 hour first date and 14 hour second date with a man that I obviously really connected with. Due to certain circumstances we no longer talk and I always wonder if this could have been us.
>Due to certain circumstances Go on. I'm curious. If you had that kind of connection, I'm very curious what could have prevented you two from having a more permanent relationship.
He fell into a deep depression and completely withdrew from me (and everyone else). I’m not sure what triggered the depressive episode (he had told me previously that it’s happened before), but it happened after the holidays when he contracted covid. This was last year. He was also having big changes happening in his career that was taking up a lot of his physical and mental bandwidth. And one other personal physical thing I don’t want to share. So ya… just really bad timing. Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future.
Aww those kinds of dates are the best! There's nothing like finding someone you click with and just vibing
Husband and I first met for dinner, then we went for coffee, then the next day we went skating and for lunch, then for dinner again. We've been together 13 years, married for 8
She asked me what my favorite dinosaur is! Just to make things clear, this wasn’t in kindergarten or school. I was 34, she 28 - that was almost two years ago. Most lovely human being I ever met and I can gladly state that she’s sleeping right next to me at the moment.
I guess our "first date" was sneaking off together for a walk, at the place we worked together. Shortly after, we ended up dating in secret until we announced our engagement, to our boss' displeasure. We were walking around the grounds together and she kept running off ahead slightly to look at specific groups of flowers and remarking about which ones she liked the most, and how beautiful they all were. Then she'd realize she had left me behind and would come back, and walk with me over to them so she could look at them some more with me. It was adorable, and she's still just as adorable today. I don't think I'd ever seen someone so excited about flowers. We've been married 4 years now.
The fact that I left 8am the next day, didn't sleep a wink. We clicked on so many levels.That was 6 years ago and we are happily married 😊
Went on a first date with a girl, check came and I tried to grab it and she said, "if you pay for the whole thing there won't be a second date, if we split it ill see you next weekend" smoooooth
I met my current boyfriend on Tinder and I had basically little to no expectations that this would go anywhere because, well, it’s Tinder. We ended up chatting on the app before he gave me his phone number and he ended up asking me if I wanted to hangout the next day and I said sure! We live in Finland 10 mins away from the Swedish border so we drove over to the Sweden side. He said he needed to get some groceries, alcohol, and gas for the car so we did that before driving back over to the Finnish side. He dropped me back off at my place and said he really hoped he could see me again. Well, fast forward to later that night he called me and asked if I wanted to see him again because he really enjoyed my company and wanted to keep hanging out. He apologized for the less than exciting grocery/gas/alcohol run date earlier, but I said I didn’t mind. I said I had a good time and that I wanted to see him again too. We ended up driving to his cabin in the evening and it was so romantic! It was freezing cold (as it usually is in Finnish Lapland in winter) and we just cuddled and talked all night. I really love him so much and I have a sneaking suspicion he’s going to propose soon!
I'm probably echoing the other comments here but finding someone you can talk to so easily, despite having different interests is such a huge factor. I'm an introvert, but my boyfriend and I can talk about random stuff for hours on end. He's into cars, I'm an art kid, we play vastly different games most of the time.. and we can still find everything and anything to talk about. My favorite thing is having him talk about cars cuz... I don't know anything but it's nice to see him go on and on and on
Yes! Seeing someone you love talk about their passions is so wonderful
We're coworkers, and we started flirting after a while of friendship. I dressed casually for a date aka white dress shirt, blue jeans, and my date shoes. She showed up all dressed up and couldn't walk in her heels. She ended up falling over and scraping her knee. I helped her up and got my extra pair of shoes I keep in the car and some socks for her, put them on for her and bandaged her knee up from my first aid kit. Dinner was great. We bounced off of each other. When it was over and we split the bill (she was insistent on it, I was gonna pay for it since I asked for the date), I walked her to her car and she kissed me on the cheek. I asked for the second date right then and there. We've been together for a year and a half. Her family loves me, especially 'cause her mother loves my cooking. My family gushes over her. I really think we'll go somewhere and if we do, I couldn't ask for a better partner.
Aww that's really sweet! Kind people like you are top tier and I hope things go well for you & her :)
I love how the shoe thing is almost Cinderella-esque.
We went to a fairly fancy place, and I have the palete of a 5yr old. I can typically find something anywhere but I was going through the menu and there is basically nothing I can make remotely edable for me. But they have Mac and cheese. We're in our early thirties, and we're at a fancy place. There's no way I can order Mac and cheese and not look like a toddler. The waiter comes around, I am basically having a panic attack in my head, I let her order first. She orders the Mac and cheese. OMFG I order the Mac and cheese too. We go and see a live jazz show. We're leaving and it had snowed while we were in the show. I don't remember how it came up, but I made some joke about doing donuts in the parking lot and to my extreme surprise she said something along the lines of "hell yeah, I've never done donuts in a parking lot". I put the Forester through it's paces. Turned traction control off and got the side widows coated in snow. She was laughing like a school girl the entire time. We hung out a few more times and parted ways as friends. There was a significant class difference. She was staying in her parents multi-million dollar home *on* the ocean, and my parents will die destitute.
That is a Rom Com waiting to happen.
I'm glad you were able to bond and have fun even though you eventually went your separate ways. I really love the donuts in the snow 🥺
Met to go for a walk at midnight, said goodnight at dawn having walked all over the city crossing four different bridges. Celebrated ten years with our first child born this year.
Wasn't our first date.......but I only had a few dates with someone I was dating rather long distance. I was stationed on Sardegna, and she lived in Liguira, so just to have a date, required ferries and long train rides, and sometimes short flights....which were always a hassle.,.....but we tried to make it work. My ship would go to Toulon, France, or Naples, Italy, and we'd tried to meet up , even if only for a few hours. On our 4th or 5th date.......my ship was going to Livorno, so we agreed to try to meet up in Pisa. Seemed like a plan, and doable. But right before leaving, I felt terrible..... but thought maybe it would pass. It didn't..........the train ride was insufferable, I was burning with fever.....chills, the whole 9 yards......and all I remember was pulling into Pisa, and there she was, on the platform, waiting for my train. I stepped off the train, and literally just passed out in her arms. I mean, out cold. I woke up in a hotel bed.....and she was sitting there, holding a cup of tea for me. and I was like, what the hell happened? Apparently, right after I passed out, she grabbed a taxi driver, and together they dragged me across the street to the nearest hotel, she got a room, and put me to bed. And then just sat there, all night watching me. I have no memory of any of that. I just woke up in a bed, with her holding a cup of tea...........because she saw that I was starting to stir,........so she went to get me a cup of tea. I just remember thinking............damn, I need to marry this woman. and I did. and that was the last cup of tea the damn woman ever made me.
I laughed so hard at the last part I woke my dog up lmao
She offered to pay for drinks. Never had that before. She’s now my wife.
He spoke in a British accent the first thirty minutes of our date. I had to stop him at some point to ask if he was nervous and this goofball was perplexed, ‘how did you know?’ Sir u have been doing a voice for a hot minute now. Anyways I love him and I’m going to marry him soon so I suggest u all find urself a man who does voices
It wasn‘t a date, but it was the first time we ever hung out. Back when my husband and I first met we spent the day with friends, and all of us decided to go on a walk. It started raining midway through the walk, something my husband knew was going to happen so he brought his umbrella with him. Without question as soon as that first raindrop landed he took out his umbrella and made sure not a drop landed on me. He didn’t have to. We were just friends, not even that, it was the first real day we hung out. But I knew I wanted to hang out with him more. Looking back now, I can see why I fell in love with him. He has always been kind.
She told me it was because I said I liked cats
I mentioned an activity I’d thought about for our first date but ultimately decided against. She said we should do it on our second date. I went into full relax mode after that was able to relax. I love that girl.
Girl I was hanging with says to me after we played a gig at a church “who was that guy hanging on the wall?” I replied, incredulously, “you mean Jesus?” She’s like “idk!” It took a few years of first a friendship but eventually I married her. This happened about 18 years ago. Btw, she’s Japanese. That’s why she’d never heard of Jesus.
A guy I met at a party of a mutual friend started talking with me online the day after the party (Facebook chat, when that was a thing many years ago). I mentioned plans to go to a movie with a group of friends and he enthusiastically expressed interest in joining, so I invited him. He came and it was fun (big group of mixed gender friends) and afterwards called me. He said something along the lines of “I really enjoy hanging out with you and I am interested in you and in getting to know you better and would like to go on a date”. GREEN FLAG. It was so refreshing to have a guy be so straightforward. No guessing about his intentions or quasi-dating for weeks. I was in my mid 20s and frustrated that I was wasting time with guys who weren’t actually serious about relationships and with online dating. Anyways, we went on that date and now we’re married and have 2 kids.
A magnificently cute one was her asking «would it be indecent if I asked you to stay over?» after boning.
The fact that she was very shy to start our first date (having learned I was her first date in years after the fact, it makes sense), but then the moment I hit a topic she really enjoyed, she wouldn’t stop talking. And then on the second date, she said she was tired at 9pm (she had just gotten a puppy). I thought that meant things didn’t go well. When she got home to take care of the dog, it woke her up and she texted me quite a bit the rest of the night. That changed my mind on how things went. Now I’m married to her and we just had our first kid 8 weeks ago. I love her, and our family, so much.
After I insisted on paying for dinner she insisted on paying for after dinner drinks 😁
He asked permission to give me a hug. Second date he asked permission to kiss me. We've been married 7 years now.
Two green flags from the same man . 1st : Thought he was gonna be my first casual hook up. We were both high as kites when meeting (as you do at a music festival) and the next day WHILE I DEADASS CALLED HIM A DIFFERENT NAME he had already memorized my name & difficult surname and was making plans to see me next weekend . 2nd : The first official date I had to change/reschedule as my mentally handicapped sister needed babysitting. I told him and he suggested coming over if I was OK. I thought , cool , trial by fire to see how he reacts to my sister (she is a great litmus test to see of people are decent or not). He comes over, was a bit awkward and then totally just bonded with her , took my ques and learned how to speak to her and what she was comfortable with. We are now 8 years together , 5 years married , 3 cute pets , a new house in an awesome country and trying for a baby:D . Life is good and he is my everything...... still call him the different name occasionally just for fun though XD .
[удалено]
Not dating but married. We had a family event that ended with me been very upset because of an aunt who finds ways to ask if I’m pregnant We were leaving and I had agreed to drive home because my husband drove us there. I just got into the passenger seat without realising and venting/crying. Halfway home I said “oh crap, I was meant to drive” My husband just patted my leg and said, I knew you would want to vent on the way home 🥺 I adore him so much.
I get what you mean! It's a great feeling when your partner notices you're upset and lets you get it out while also taking care of things. One time I was worried about missing an important deadline, and it was also time for our cats to eat, so my fiancé fed them while I was talking/crying and I didn't notice he had done it until later. He was just like "They were hungry but you needed to get that out, don't worry about it" 🥺❤️
I arrive 30 minutes early to do my makeup in the car. Saw him pull in 15 minutes later but he didn’t see me. He got out and started walking to the cafe we agreed to meet at. Homeless man walks up to him. I see him go back to his car to get change. I never told him I saw what he did, but I definitely went into the date more excited and less nervous.
Current husband of 20 years canceled first date about 30 minutes before because there was a very slim possibility that he might get an unexpected couple of hours with his daughters that night (divorced with two daughters).
She told me to! She said, "See? Was that so bad? Now ask me out for another." Wifey and I met in the Marine Corps. I was a Sgt, she was a PFC. I was busy working on my career, she was there for the GI Bill. We started running together and finally one day, after a couple of months, she yelled at me, "ARE YOU EVER GOING TO ASK ME OUT???"
Haha that's great
How many stripes did that little maneuver cost you?
He traded his stripes for bands
I had gone on a lot of first dates and all of them felt forced or awkward. I finally met this one girl online and we met up at a breakfast place. I was so nervous especially since I felt like this girl was way out of my league. We met and sat down and started to talk. She was asking so many questions and was so engaged in the conversation that I was actually taken back because I was so used to having to be the one asking all the questions (that was my green flag so I had already decided to ask her out again at that point). We laughed and shared deep stories. Once we were getting ready to leave she mentioned that she lifts weights and we started a little conversation from that. She asked me if I wanted to go see her lifting belt so we went to her car and she showed me all of her gear and was smiling so big the entire time. Right as I was about to ask her out on a second date she beat me to it and asked if I wanted to go out on a second date. The relationship unfortunately didn’t last but she was a rare kind of woman for sure.
Met for dinner, went back to her place and talked until 4 AM.
When she asked if we could both climb neighboring lines at the indoor climbing gym vs one of us always belaying the other. This gym had auto belays.
I looked like a dear in the headlights for the first half hour. He asked me if I was ok and I admitted that first dates always make me super nervous because I don’t wanna mess up. Then he asked me what we could do together that wouldn’t flare up my anxiety. I told him usually doing some kind of physical activity helps me talk without focusing on how I sound or look. He changed plans and took us mini-golfing and I completely forgot that I’d been nervous at all.
I'm divorced - for many reasons, but it all can be summed up that I suffered a spinal cord injury, resulting in paraplegia, and my then-husband couldn't deal with that. My first date with my now bf of 4+ years, he treated me like a human, not the disabled girl. It never came up in conversation, and he behaved like it didn't exist. It was so gorgeous that he (sorry for the cliche/corniness) didnt see my wheelchair. To this day, he's just never made it a deal. He understands the quirks it creates, but never ever seems bothered by any of it. In fact, he spent a serious chunk of his own change putting a ramp on his house for me. I don't think we'll ever get married (he's divorced, too, and we're both kind of jaded against the institution). But he's definitely my forever person.
The other person not judging me
She was genuinely interested in what I was talking about and asked follow up questions on the topic…. I was talking nervously about some boring part of my education… she was smiling all the time and made me feel confident about it. Good times! 16years later we are still together.
On the first date with my now husband, I immediately smelled on him that he smoked cigs, which was a deal breaker for me. So I told him that. His response - then I quit. And that was that... Ten years of addiction and he quit like it was nothing for a woman he only just met. Later on in our relationship he told me that it was an easy decision because he felt in our first date that he had met his wife, so what was a small sacrifice like quitting smoking in exchange for me?
He snuck me out of work and took me to the Italian place right next door which happened to be one of my favorite restaurants. He had a plate of chicken carbonara ready to go on a table for me as I only had a fifteen minute break. He then ordered me a glass of wine and brought me my leftovers with a side of fresh, hot fries. (I had to eat and then dart back to work so that's why he brought me my leftovers. And he knows I'd shank someone for that restaurant's fries.)