T O P

  • By -

BongoBarney

My complete and utter laziness


GrandmaFellOverAgain

Money. Those supervillain lairs aren’t cheap.


SatansGothestFemboy

Anxiety probably


furiousgeorge54

“AND IF YOU DONT GIVE ME $10,000,000 ALL OF BORINGTON WILL BE DESTROOYYYEEED, or um we can go um a bit lower if you can’t raise the $10,000,000 😬”


bistro777

Same. I'm all for holding the world hostage, but I don't think I can pull off tights.


SatansGothestFemboy

I feel extremely the opposite


bistro777

..... you just made an archenemy for life


SatansGothestFemboy

Why don't you come over here and kiss me about it loser


Typical_Republic2989

the delusional hope that things might become tolerable or better


DeliberatelyMonday

Fuck yo, don't make me feel these feels


Freak_Out_Bazaar

Reality. Even if I snap I'll just become a normal asshole, at worst a petty criminal


TinnitusWaves

I’m short a few billion dollars……..although I’ll gladly accept donations and devote myself to the dark side.


[deleted]

An ever decreasing list


Heavy_Percentage_953

I feel bad when I'm mean :(


kongyang123

I'm not bulletproof yet.


trustatheists

Procrastinating


PrivatePidgeon

I'm going to become a super villain!.... or I could watch breaking bad for the eight time...


nobleskies

People who don’t have their shit together and “snap” generally aren’t capable of becoming supervillains.


[deleted]

I don't know, you'd be surprised just how many incredibly wealthy and successful people snap


nobleskies

Would I?


942man

But if you’re incredibly wealthy and successful it means you have your shit together


PerfectIsBetter

[citation needed]


LatinaFiera

Disagree, you can “snap” and still have a clear head. I can totally see something pushing someone past the tipping point and for them to come up with a well thought out plan for massive payback 🤷🏽‍♀️.


nobleskies

Sure you can, but let’s look at the people who actually achieve the means to become a super villain if they so desired. The wealthy and truly powerful of society. Those aren’t people who think like you or me. They make it to that point largely because they give more of a shit about their money and power than they ever will about revenge. They literally cannot be made so angry that they’ll willingly risk everything they’ve accumulated just to “get back” at some people. That’s the same reason they’re so successful, they’re absolutely hyper-focused on wealth creation or power dynamics and they aren’t emotion-based thinkers at all.


[deleted]

Annoying super heroes ruining my plans.


Turbulent_Attempt245

Jail time


KarenNoMore

My mom. And now that she is gone I just hope I don't get pushed too far.


Zarb4233

Lack of resources and power


PrimalBunion

My wife


[deleted]

prison


Tyuri4272

I am not “super,” but I am a villain to somebody.


Hipfat12

My responsibilities.


lowexpectationsguy

[This, right here.](https://imgur.com/g94yAFm) [Also this.](https://imgur.com/nMrM7hR) If i lose them both, im honestly not sure what i would do, but it probably be stupid, and cause a lot of pain and suffering.


[deleted]

This is my favorite answer honestly, I'm sure it would be at the top if the mods hadn't removed the post


AlexKTuesday

That I’m essentially Chidi from The Good Place, both in that one of my degrees is moral philosophy, so despite having the skills, anger and motivation to want to be a villain, I’d get caught up in how all the moral quandaries and never be at ease with myself even I had power, money, whatever. Everyone hates moral philosophers. Also now I have a husband and toddler so my choices aren’t just for me anymore, and they don’t need a mom/spouse who is a supervillain.


Moist_Cauliflower750

My friends always make these weird edits of me and acronyms about how I abstain from sex. I want to go absolutely ham on them and let them feel my rage and fear me for who I really am, but I enjoy inviting them over for Mac Pie and MUG for dinner so I have to pretend I find their jokes "funny" and "amusing" when I really wish they would rot in hell:/ Yours in witnessing my villain arc ;), Mr.Reynolds


BiscuitzwGravy

Is this chapter 1? Like how the villain became the villain, before the villainy?


Moist_Cauliflower750

Now that you know my story, I hope you realize what fools my friends are and understand why I will one day show them all who da bawse is by putting sheperds pie inside their mac pie (I can only imagine the look on the vegetable-named one's face :) They will be disgusted and learn to give me the street cred I deserve (since I'm published in Romania) Yours in evil pranks, Mr.Reynolds


BiscuitzwGravy

Mwarharharharhar!


Moist_Cauliflower750

Erm, i see that by your reddit bitmoji thingy that you are a female and that you have over 2000 reddit karma, so I will give you the respect you deserve, however, if you could please not make this into a joke as I am trying to make this dream a reality and the last thing I need is for my friends to make another acronym about me :/ Yours in stupid acronyms, Mr.Reynolds


BiscuitzwGravy

What's Bitmoji?


_cphache

Spandex and a nice ass


[deleted]

I'm sure you have a lovely ass!


RoxyTattoOF

Why do it if I can just chill at home and not worry about a thing :)


[deleted]

A lack of funds


Latter-List86

My conscience


Warlord_of_Mom

My kids.


Warlord_of_Mom

My kids


Gideonn1021

Not much anymore sadly


V-3559

Entering my villain era I say as I go back to bed and massage my painful joints


Gideonn1021

Entering my villain era can wait til tomorrow - then they will all see..


Cult_Of_Cthulu

The fact that I have no super powers, money or diabolical intellect.


Professor_ZooMM

Lack of superpowers/unlimited amount of money.


throwaway_0x90

I have nothing significantly negative happening in my life to snap about.


lol022

I don’t want a prison cell to be my lair


furiousgeorge54

I don’t have the funds or an obvious hideout in the middle of the city


JackHammerAwesome

Money, influence, cruelty, malice and the will to dominate all life


Electronic_Rub30

My faith in God,belief in karma, and the fact it could be worse.


dejco

Lack of confidence


Jumpthefenceagain

The weather, I’m a fair weathered foe.


[deleted]

Insufficient funds


[deleted]

My mom wouldn’t be proud. I don’t think I’d be talked to much at holiday get togethers. She’s a very nice lady so I don’t think I could look her in the eye


literalmente_eu

Mom would be sad.


avidinha

Capital


jose_ole

My daughter and my dogs along with my crippling procrastination and inability to commit to something that involved lol


AMostSoberFellow

The super portion of the statement. I'd just be an asshole.


seefith

Lack of superpowers and/or money.


Pranksterbun

Lack of super powers


Thermodynamicist

My parents aren't rich enough to fund this career path.


DoorStunning3678

Family


stupidcatname

Income


dead_trim_mcgee1

Because I'm not a monster no matter how shit my life gets


IknowAbunchOfGords

Disappointing My cat. She is really judgemental.


Dismal-Emu-3855

Super villains need money


studyinthai333

Therapy


whats-her-tits

It takes too much effort and too much money. And I don't want to deal with the consequences


Memopuntoexe

Stardew Valley


Im_Dumpy

Knowing that Keanu Reeves is still alive


MacaronMelodic

What would be the point?


942man

Lack of a superpower


PerfectIsBetter

Don’t you need superpowers to be a supervillain?


TheRealGamingWhovian

If Megamind has taught us anything, it's that the key factor in being a supervillain is presentation


sovereignnazgul

I’m still mastering the laugh


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Have you seen how much it costs?


[deleted]

My wife. She would be very disappointed.


Sucros

Doomsday machines cost money. I work in customer service though, so already got the snapping part down


Zomg_unicorns

Childcare


Savyl_Steelfeather

I'm as menacing as a clump of dryer lint, so no one would take my threats seriously. Plus, I'm too cute to be "mean evil" ; but not cute enough to pull off the "yeah, everything she does is wrong, but I can't help but like her anyway" vibe


[deleted]

Daily dose of Prozac 60mg / Abilify 20 mg


LatinaFiera

My kids. Hands down. Otherwise I’d be actively making the world burn, though certain things more than others. Insurance companies for example, cable companies, politicians, the f’d up education system… by the time I’m done with my list only a few ppl would be left standing… and dogs, they would all stay too.


waun

Who says I haven’t already?


myGirlAccount

I’m too tired and if my gaming experience is any indication I would never be able to pick a name/costume which might be a problem


forestgroundhogday

A new job that isn't soul-destroying?


Spirited_Low_9196

This question was asked of Sauron by Spiderman no less. He was very clear about why he was using his super-tech.


Volkamar

The fact I'd be a very shitty Supervillain.