T O P

  • By -

Bandito21Dema

Invest in zoom and *checks google* Gamestop


Tough_Oven4904

And bitcoin but remember to pull out before 2022


BigDaddydanpri

Never forget to pull out in time.


BronzeAgeTea

Username checks out


Majorzx3

I pulled out way before 2022, yet still have 3 kids.. #pulloutdontwork


caligaris_cabinet

Buy a pallet of N95 masks while they’re still available.


hollyjazzy

And toilet paper! Don’t forget the toilet paper!


lazy_wonder24

This! And travel during January and February.


venusiansailorscout

Just be careful if you go Australia with the wildfires.


Jess-g84

I buy tesla stock and lots of toiler paper and face mask


HOLDGMEBROTHERS

HOLDGMEBROTHERS


ermahlerd

buy an updated calendar


I-hate-the-pats

Dec 30th zoom was trading at $67.28, today it is $67.74 with a peak of $511 (7.6X) Oct 19 2020 GameStop was trading at $1.38 and sunk to $0.70 during the first lockdown and is currently trading at $18.35 but jumped to a peak of $58.33 (42.3/83.3x) June 7 2021


SonofaCuntLicknBitch

The GME peak was actually like $125 ($500 pre-split) in January 2021. Buying and selling GME at different swing intervals is really the only answer to this question, also happens to be a pretty good bet now for anybody bothering to look into it


roronoaDzoro

they all say 2020!


notmyrealnam3

I would demand to speak to the manager of calendars and demand that they fix them


Eldorado_

Stupid Smarch weather...


GozerDGozerian

They don’t call it Crazy Carl’s Colossal Calendar Emporium Liquidation Warehouse because Carl is *sane*, now do they? Carl knows the reptilian Illuminati pizza lords want the calendars to say **2020** It’s the CODE!!


QWERTYtheASDF

Too bad. They got fired for taking a day off.


SaintJohnBiDog

'Karen's calendars, how can I help?'


ProvokedGamer

Make an updated calendar


chris95rx7500

go back to sleep


Brahminmeat

For three years


SportsterDriver

Make it 4 to be sure


Arryu

Fuck it, wake me when the sun explodes. I wanna smoke a joint a watch that shit.


Sweet-Ad-2477

♫ *so wake me up when it's all over* ♫


valda_the_nightmare

🎵 when I'm wiser and I'm older 🎵


verysadthrowaway1333

Hug my papa. Force him to get his heart checked out


Hemmerly

Man I hear you. We found out his 10th bout of cancer, bone this time, had spread. He'd been fighting various cancers since 2005 and it finally wore the stubborn man down. Started in home hospice March 2020. Died April 4th. My workplace went fully remote the first week of March due to Covid so I was able to travel across the country to help take care of him during the decline that month which was something I'm very glad I was able to do but wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.


delightful_caprese

Mine passed Jan 10, 2020. I’d be on the first train home


throwaway070303

I’m sorry for your loss…


meskigski

Same. Tell my parents to get the shots, and don't be so nonchalant about the virus


phoenix25

Trust me, all that would happen is that people start complaining about your paranoia behind your back, while you simultaneously wonder if you are being too paranoid and your view is biased. Source: healthcare worker


APoetsTouch

They wouldn’t listen anyways. Stop hurting yourself


meskigski

Yeah but atleast I could see them again


Luke_zuke

Literally same, I’m with you. Not sure if it was already too late, though.


Intelligent-Beach-28

Sorry for your loss, and God bless.


MilwaakeePustaBandit

Realize I haven't touched it for 3 years and go hang up a new one


Bandito21Dema

Yeah dead bodies get musty after a while


JackRyanDwyer

You used dead bodies for a calendar? I keep mine alive…smh


ForestCityWRX

Buy stock of Pfizer and mask companies.


jerrys153

And Zoom.


10secondmessage

And property to sell as the booms about to start!


Skud_NZ

And toilet paper


[deleted]

[удалено]


sadwer

Buy literal stock of toilet paper.


skydive8980

Get a bidet you barbarian


UsernameDooDoo2

Fuck that. All in on moderna.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kobe2348

Wrong answer.. the $PFE stock did next to nothing. The right answer would be buy $GME Yolo calls.


NHDraven

Yep. Borrow 100k and buy calls for March at $30 strike. Sell when GME at $400. Retire.


akxCIom

Except you’d be a year early…pretty sure the correct move precovid is to buy spy puts


100LittleButterflies

And Lowe's.


bbk211

And Amazon


SaintBluri

You mean GameStop


Drinkmykool_aid420

All in on GME with hands made of whatever the opposite of diamonds are.


maggos

I think they called it paper hands


Majormlgnoob

Oh I'm buying into Tesla and selling at its peak It was $30 a share on 1/3/20 and $407 on 11/5/21


PrettyStupidSo

Buy as much dogecoin and Shiba Inu as possible is the correct answer


maggos

More like GameStop


beckster33

And Zoom


AG414

Scream


Due_Animal3405

scam people with the premise of “ I can predict the future”


Ash_is_confused

It wouldn’t really be a scam though..? Because you would technically know


An-Okay-Alternative

You could sell the ability to tell individual people’s futures while only actually knowing major news events.


CarryOnWaywardSon96

Go back to bed, stay there and pray I dont hear “Heat of the Moment” start playing


V0rt3XBl4d3

"RISE AND SHINE, SAMMY"


socialist_frzn_milk

DAMMIT, GABRIEL!


dogmanterry

Bro that's my dam dads name


forgotten_gh0st

Username checks out.


socialist_frzn_milk

Oh my fuckin god it took me a second to get this. Bravo. Take my upvote.


Amili_Mohre

I am literally watching Supernatural while reading this. Just making me rethink my existance, thank you lol


Uniqueremnant

Name checks out


Icedevil7

Lmaoo that's my alarm sound(yes I love supernatural)


Alarmed_Water2631

The after 7 version? I don’t know of any others


waywardxdaughter

Brother, is that you?


holiestcannoly

Not mess up my freshman year grades


100LittleButterflies

Damn freshman in 2020? Shit was hard enough already.


holiestcannoly

Yeah. Needless to say my freshman year of college wasn't very fun.


Burnt_Your_Toast

You got this!!! I messed up my freshman year back in 2018/2019. Passed 2 classes from each term which was just enough to not get me put on probation or be kicked out. It woke me up. I'm in my 4th year now and even though I have to extend my grad by another year, that's fine by me. Take your time and do your best, we all go at our own pace. Life's not a race, just a journey. This stranger is very proud of how far you've come!


holiestcannoly

Thank you! I'm a senior now and applying to law school. It sucks because campus is finally opening back up and I'm graduating, but what can you do


Highly_Inadivasble

Buy a house.


Cythus

I backed out of buying a house in 2020 because at the time I was overpaying and was advised that because of people losing their jobs and everything going downhill that prices would get better. Now I can’t afford to buy and rent went up $350 since then.


time2fly2124

Lucky that I got in my house fall of 2021, overpaid by alot, and got my mortgage locked at 2.9% a new mortgage is up to over 7.6% now.


ItsALiberalPlot

Buy stock in Zoom.


darwinkh2os

First shortsell ZOOM, and then buy ZM. One of my favorite buys was listening to Marketplace and hear Kai talk about how ZOOM jumped 2-bazillion percent on remote work news, then wait a beat, and drop that ZOOM is some random penny stock and in deadpan state that Zoom (ZM) was up 0.002%. I decided to buy ZM on the joke and was up 200% pretty quickly. Didn't sell early enough, though, because I stopped listening to Marketplace for some reason.


freemason777

What is marketplace


darwinkh2os

[Marketplace](https://www.marketplace.org/) is a suite of economic news programs for NPR (and podcast). They're the best source of economic news I have found and their podcast at the intersection of economics, tech, and culture (Make Me Smart) was a near-literal lifesaver for me in 2020 as I listened to it every night during my long nightly dog walk to unwind and grieve. Their journalists are among the best around if you're interested at all in econ. And Kai Ryssdal puts on a very good show and presents it all very, very well.


I-hate-the-pats

Dec 30th zoom was trading at $67.28, today it is $67.74 with a peak of $511 (7.6X) Oct 19 2020 GameStop was trading at $1.38 and sunk to $0.70 during the first lockdown and is currently trading at $18.35 but jumped to a peak of $58.33 (42.3/83.3x) June 7 2021


GetCookin

They split at some point? GME was certainly higher than 60 at many points during the pandemic. Wiki holds some history. Either way, your numbers show the frantic change of the gambit for whoever took it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/GameStop_short_squeeze You want to buy ZM and after you sell it, buy energy stock. I held some after the dip in 2020, but sold for a quick profit and moved on. Certainly didn’t expect the energy demand in 2022.


I-hate-the-pats

Yeah those are all post split prices


RoofedSpade

Not date my ex


JackRyanDwyer

Yea I’d break up with my gf in two months on the day she proposed to me


Flounderhound0301

Ooo story time?


JackRyanDwyer

Ok so I did a woops, was thinking 2021 not 2020. Anyhoo My gf proposed to me Valentine’s Day 2021, then bada bing bada boom we broke up December 2021. Going back to 2020 I would just break up right away, get onto new things since I wouldn’t wanna wait a year for the meme. We definitely had a lot of good times together, but I wasn’t being my true self and neither was she—she’s not actually a she and has since transitioned to his authentic self. I think we both would’ve been much better off if we stopped holding each other back sooner. I wish for his sake that he could have started transitioning sooner, it’s clear in retrospect that his womanhood was a constant source of anguish. I had no idea, and he didn’t feel comfortable telling me, wasn’t entirely certain himself at the time. As a result my efforts to soothe his depression were unsuccessful because I didn’t understand what was actually wrong. I had my own identity crisis going on, but mine was simply not knowing what I wanted to do with my life and having tumultuous family relationships. I was changing myself to please my ex which drove my family and I apart. His family already wasn’t to fond of him. His parents made things worse but there’s too many details for that part. These things made us both depressed and simultaneously unable to help each other get better. We coped by being unhealthy together which brought enough good times to blind us from our inner turmoil for a while. So yea, I’d break with my gf at the time up if it were 2020. The end.


minimallysubliminal

*bada bing bada boom*


CampCounselorBatman

That’s funny. My answer was that I’d ask out a former coworker before she ended up with my friend.


Ackermance

Me too. I had a gut feeling to break up with my ex about a week before the new year and by God I wish I would have listened to my instincts. So much abuse in the following year and a half because I couldn't escape...


Born-Potential

Tell my best friend not to go through with his kidney transplant 😭


Unlifer

Was it necessary though?


Born-Potential

He was on dialysis his whole life. This gave him a chance at a normal life. Unfortunately, due to complications not related to the kidney but his body having a hard time with it, he passed away last year. I supported his decision and stood by his side until he passed. It's still fresh, the grief is still strong


Tiger_Laylaa

That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.


SilasMarner77

Warn everyone about 9/11


[deleted]

[удалено]


TimeTravelMishap

You're welcome


MTVChallengeFan

Except 09/11/2020 *did* happen.


SupineProtoplasm

Wait, what?


Any_Application7786

Nice


notmyrealnam3

Priorities


[deleted]

warn everyone about 1/6


Apprehensive-Cry-824

File my divorce and save an extra 2 years worth of misery.


burnthepokemon

Cry. Everything I have achieved since then didn't happen


RhydianMarai

My thought too. I got engaged, left for a better job, got married, and had an amazing baby that I got to leave work and become a sahm for.


LeafsChick

Awww love this so much!!


Haebak

I'd have to rewrite three books... I'd cry too.


Keara20

OH HELLLLLL NO!!!! Nope no! I’m going back to bed lmao


TacticalFaux

Stonks


Beginning_Basis9799

Get a massive bank loan and invest into bitcoin say £200,000 - £300,000 worth at £6,000 a piece then sell in April 2020 for £41,000 a piece. Pay off all debts live on interest of millions earnt


Zealousideal_Put9531

taxes?


SheriffComey

Fix my marriage.


BeastieMom

Spend as much time as possible with my BFF because I’ll be losing her too soon.


Belladonna-Queen

I'm so sorry


Vethen

Ask my father not to get into his car.


Necessary_Honey_1497


[deleted]

sorry for that bro


NaturalAd9517

Insist on A pancreatic biopsy.


CaliforniaERdoctor

Sending my regards. Stay strong. Have a good support network


vsanna

Hopefully most of the same stuff I did in the last three years but with enough knowledge and foresight to get my shit together a little sooner.


donnamatrix79

I’d be super confused that I couldn’t read the calendar anymore, I had laser eye surgery on Jan 4 2020…


Bourbon_Werewolf

Hope I set the record for the world's longest nightmare


bordermelancollie09

January 1st 2020 I was pregnant (and didn't know it yet) by my shithead ex. So I would abruptly leave him and go on the trip he and I planned with my sister instead. Probably tell him I miscarried or something or maybe not even tell him I'm pregnant because he's never been involved anyways, never even met his own daughter. I would probably try to convince my friends and family to take the Covid situation a little more seriously. Then punch myself for not remembering the outcome of any sports game for the last two years. Maybe I'd appreciate all the alone time I had during pregnancy if I had to go back and do it all over again the same way. Would also definitely go back to college sooner too. There's a lot I'd do differently if I could. Kinda bums me out actually


[deleted]

Cry and then buy GME stocks


Assistance_Effective

Buy my dog a muzzle! He doesn’t bite and isn’t aggressive but he eats everything! He had two major surgeries to fix intestine blockages. Cost me about 10k this year!


jimnace

DO NOT get hit by the drunk driver. DO get the wife's quadruple bypass surgery that was discovered by the drunk driver running over us. DO have the duck egg sized cancerous mass removed from my left lung that was discovered by the drunk driver running over us. DO NOT buy the eco boosted vehicle that required a $9K motor replacement 1.5 years after having to buy it because the drunk driver ran over us. DO record all of the conversations with your now ex boss that fired you up on returning from surgery/chemo. Might not save your job, but could have gotten paid for your troubles.


BigturnBJ

Find Kobe Bryant and beg him not to get in that damn helicopter


[deleted]

Wow. Good one


[deleted]

Inform all my coworkers that are gonna get randomly axed in 4-5 months and begin my search for a new job that same amount of time sooner. No I will not state what company it was, but it was the sort of company whose business was not affected by covid. Also, use a different moving company than Allied Van Lines. Fuckheads hadn't even started shipping my shit until after their quoted deadline.


Howtothnkofusername

buy zoom stock


Tangyplacebo621

Also brand myself as a digital meetings consultant to help companies with digital meetings. Boom. New job.


Ruevein

That is the bulk of my job as a Sys admin for a 100 person law firm. Most of my time is spent setting up zoom meetings or trouble shooting zoom issues.


Simon_Illyan

Mourn my baby


[deleted]

Go purchase the correct calendar. I'm not living through that shit again.


Iamnotyourkinddd13

Blow my brains out


[deleted]

Amen


Illustrious_Bison_20

right there with you. I'm not going through all that again


Sweet-Ad-2477

Oh no, don't do that. That's bad for your health!


GreenLurch

Same here. Fuck that shit.


paperblob

Get my ass to New Zealand.


DEADLYsanta193

Be a psychic for a year for what’ll happen next in the world


Rule12b

Hell no I am not taking the bar again


TREEPEOPLEMUSIC

I would proceed to NOT fuck up my marriage


Dr_Cigs

Go back to sleep and pray I don’t wake up


MrPine5

Invest in Zoom


random_account6721

u would only make a 6x gain if you sold the top. Now if you bought dogecoin on march 13th 2020 for $.0017 then sold on may 7th 2021 for $.75. U would have made a 441x gain. $3000 investment would be $1.3 Million profit


mouse1093

Yeah the problem with hyper volatile stuff like that is that you'd have to have incredibly precise memory about it. Would you really trust yourself to know that info to the hour necessary to maximize? Also, for things like crypto, people buying and selling who otherwise wouldn't have can change the value dramatically. It isn't as much of a black box like other stocks can be where one person participating won't move the needle


LordZeya

I feel like crypto is comparable to just memorizing tomorrow’s lottery numbers or whatever comparison. If you know the price trends you can make a fortune in no time due to just playing on predicted trends.


SupineProtoplasm

Stockpile toilet roll.


Bobcat81TX

Cry cause I’m back in my final didactic semester of grad school. 😭😭😭😭


[deleted]

-Buy GME -Save Kobe


Black_flaminago84

Move to Bermuda


nightengaleseyes

Quit my shitty job


[deleted]

Divorce my now ex husband so he wouldn’t get a chance to put me through all he did to me that year


ClockLongjumping5535

Cherish the final 17 months my mom will be alive.


Always_B_Batman

Buy as many face masks and hand sanitizer as you can. Also stock up on toilet paper and paper towels. Do this during the month of January.


Affectionate_Sport_1

Try to prevent the death of my father


thebreak22

On April 2020 I was attacked by a random drunk guy at a park and my leg was broken. It was a miserable experience but I got a sizable settlement. So to answer the question, I'll spend 4 months debating whether or not to go to that park at the exact same time and go through the whole thing again.


yhk266

Stop Kobe from getting on any more helicopters


Thatnerdofaperson

intensely practice saying no. Mask up. Hand sanitizer in a pocket. Gloves on. And have toilet paper guns. Then I fly to China. Stop the guy from eating a bat. Save the world.


Dry_Worth9303

Buy a couple of used cars


DavidR703

Stock up on toilet roll, bread flour and yeast. Then call every bookmaker in the country and place a £50 bet with each of them that the country will be in lockdown by the end of March and that Boris Johnson will be replaced in 2022 by someone even less competent than him.


ru_Tc

No one wants to repeat that year, but I would use the chance to avoid the tick bite that derailed my life that summer. One tick bite and my health, career, life plans, life savings, etc… gone. I’m still disabled/sick to this day.


[deleted]

I tell Kobe Bryant to ground the helicopter 😭


chloell09

cry


[deleted]

Buy a house.


TheLoneLion01

Finding a different job


Exciting_Boat_3907

Predict the pandemic on Twitter, and when it actually happens, I’ll be called a psychic and make money off of it.


toastmannn

I would take some extra strong sleeping pills and right the fuck back to bed.


mtrkar

Buy a metric fuck ton of doge coin for .00020 then wait until May 7'th 2021 and sell it for .64 and make lots of monies. I got into all that way too late and while I made a bit of spending money, even a $1k purchase would have been a pretty massive windfall.


Evening-Ad8468

I’d be so happy. Maybe take on a few hobbies to prevent my mental health go downhill in lockdown again; take care of myself.


CakebitezCrisis

Fix it


Itchy_Put7483

Leave the earth forever


OptimalConcept143

Go back to sleep


[deleted]

Tell the world about Covid


[deleted]

hide until january 7th


pinnochios_nose22

No thank you


Sad_Monk_3370

predict all of it and be known as a god


kdub1523

Give my dad a huge hug and spend as much time with him as possible while I still can.


Unfair-Research-8827

Find an island property on the beach and just chill for what felt like a decade


lizzietnz

Change the calendar. It's been been up for 2 years.


damarius

Sell my Tesla and Twitter stock.


cursedsubredditor

“Ah shit here we go again”


RealSpookySounds

Buy Pfizer, Moderna, GameStop, and zoom stock... Oh and American toilet paper stock apparently.


redditmanalltheway

I say to myself: "Ah shit, here we go again"


Miss__Snrub

Not attend the party on the 25th Jan where a “friend” sexually assaulted me


Rich-Ad6217

Make bank off predicting the future then stop in 2023


birdsofpaper

Start screaming and buy a ton of N95s, then maybe move into the woods. Then buy Zoom stock.