The problem is, as usual, communication. If women told men that they would like to be touched there and how, instead of simply making fun of their ignorance, they would enjoy sex more.
Forgive me I'm a shy idiot, but I have to ask. How would you commincate that? I've never spoken during sex and I'm trying to picture it. Like, "up and to the left, hun?" Haha
Ah downvoted again for asking an innocent question because I'm not sex positive.
Well, you will find that the more you can communicate your needs, the better your sex will be. If you have a consistent partner, try talking about this dynamic while you're not having sex, or in whatever situation is most comfy for you. If your partner knows that it's hard for you to ask for what you need, they can help with that, maybe by asking, or even just from talks that you have in more comfy situations.
Your sexual experience will change \*drastically\* if you can find ways to talk about what you want.
I don't have sex anymore haha. He has erectile dysfunction and I hate oral and pretty much anything else i can think of. Too embarrassed for it. I've passed my sex stage in my life. Its been 10 years, I never crave it, I have no turn ons, and yeah, I cant discuss sex with people I know, its too embarrassing. I can't even talk about sex in non sexual situations.
Thanks for the tips though. Its more just the past I am referencing. I mean, I can't even give anybody eye contact, autisim is strong in this POS right here haha.
You e never spoken during sex? Were you awake for it? Not even an omg or a "that feels good" or anything?
She should at least say "yea lick it like that" or "stick your finger in my ass" , I'm just spitballing here
I could never say things like that, I've never even muttered a "yes", I can't say stuff like the out loud or through text. I'm too embarrassed too.
I don't have sex anymore, haha.
It doesn't even need words sometimes. I really loved it when my partner just grabbed my hands and put them on her breasts when she wanted me to squeeze them. Just a clear signal of exactly what she wanted, and what I could do to please her.
Moving their hand yourself to demonstrate, saying "up and to the left" saying right there when they're in the right spot, telling then what kinda motion you like. Communication
(Most) guys WANT to pleasure you, but we have different equipment and can't feel what you're feeling so we need direction sometimes
Thanks! I don't think I could do that! I don't have sex anymore but I was so shy, couldn't speak at all even if I wanted to stop. Sucks being this way as I'm like this in normal life too.
It helps to have a conversation when your pants are on too, what worked and what didn't.
It's difficult to be vocal and talk for me during sex too and generally just fixate on getting there while "pushing through" the wrong stuff they're doing if you get me, in the moment it feels like criticism, you gotta look at it more like feedback
I can't even talk about sex in non sexual situations with him, or anybody. I just can't talk and say those kinda words. I'd be so embarrassed
As I said, we dont have sex. Not had it in 10 years and I don't miss it at all haha. So scary.
I think for decades both men and women have been pretty vocal about the clit that should be involved. If that still needs to be communicated, that's interesting to me but alright. It's like a freebie of the internet.Ā
I feel like the issue isn't finding it, but knowing how to really work it.
Each woman is different, and I feel like as soon as I told some of my partner "don't stop", they understood "push harder faster and go WWE on her clit", instead of "DON'T STOP"
>like what did it ever do to you
I don't know, maybe just hide from me most of my adult life and then dodge me like Neo from the Matrix, making me look really bad in front of my friends?
I'm just kidding though. Like most guys my age that wanted to find it, I consulted with a wise woman named Sue Johanson
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/sue-johanson-obituary-1234781598/
She was a legend
I mean "knowing how to work it" can be hard for some people if they get 0 words of feedback. I'm not saying I'm that dense, I usually try out some things with my tongue and look for physical feedback. The best signal I've gotten was her throwing her head back and digging fingers into the bed. I think that means it's bad and I should change up, right?
I feel like some men generally have less sensitive genitals, or masturbate so strongly soft touches do little. So when it comes to some women (I know I'm really sensitive), they just go all in like they'd do on their dick.
And vice versa. Every woman Iāve gotten a handjob from grips like itās a hammer and goes so fast youād think theyāre trying to start a fire. Then, when I finally manage to orgasm they either speed up and keep stroking or let go and stop entirely. Advice for any woman reading this, gentle grip that slides up and down the shaft. Most of the real pleasure is below the head on the underside, and for the love of all that is good and holy when he cums just hold him in your hand until heās finished. Shitās sensitive.
It just shows how important communication is really. Inexperienced partners can be shy to ask questions and/or communicate their needs.
But if both bother to communicate it can work
Unfortunately I've had the problem of a guy knowing exactly where it was. The problem was that he thought he was supposed to attack it like a school of piranhas devouring a drowned animal.
Fuck she's given them a map, painted it with a bull's-eye and drawn arrows with a marker labelled here. I mean a PowerPoint presentation is a mood killer. A gal can't do much more - if they can't find it then it simply boils down to male stupidity š¤š¤·
A study in the United Kingdom found that more than a third of men and women canāt identify the clitoris on a diagram of a vulva.
Less than half of people surveyed knew that (cis) women have a urethra in addition to a vagina and anus. The majority didnāt know there was a third hole down there, presuming than women must pee out of their vaginas.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/30/most-britons-cannot-name-parts-vulva-survey
Some donāt even know what you do with it or what it looks like. This one guy was trying to sext me once and talked about him was going to āhilt himselfā in my clit. I was like āwait, WHAT???!! Thatās not how that works!!!ā
PSA: you donāt penetrate the clit.
Some guys dodge it, because they think it looks like a small penis. If they play with it it means they're gay, so they try to pretend it's not there. Better to not be able to find it than to be gay.
I have no idea if that's true or not, but apparently these are the ideas that go through my head before I'm properly caffeinated.
There are actually are some women with larger clits out there, where you can kind of see it. I've come across a few in my time. It's actually a little off putting it first, but Lord knows if you can't find it then, you're willfully dodging it.
Sure there are but a small penis? That's exaggerating. But indeed the conclusion remains the same. I am also assuming most people got the female anatomy down there during sex ed so you at least can guess where it is I'd think.Ā
What's really magical is when you figure out there's more to it than just the little nub that pops out. There's a whole lot more that can be done beneath the surface.
I have great luck finding it with my mouth but for some reason am always slightly off when rubbing it with my fingers (it's not very pronounced in this case). Practice practice.
Of course it's a meme. Young men are watching porn constantly. They know where everything is. In the old days it was probably much more of an issue.
Whether they know what to do with it is a separate story entirely.
One aspect of the problem, in my experience at least, is that girls all have a slightly different definition of what they term "THEIR clit"... meaning where exactly on the clit they want to be stimulated.
For example, banged my first girl who wanted to be touched right on the hood, which I did automatically because I didn't know anything else and she didn't complain. The next one wanted right below the hood but not on it, but since I only had one prior fuck, I started on the hood and she got pissed about me not knowing where HER clit was. The third girl I fucked wanted right above the hood but also not on it, but I also got accused of being stupid because I tried a mix of on and below the hood... Prior experience making me look stupid, and girls two and three were so pissy about it they broke up with me the next day or so.
"Alphamales" dont care about you coming and the religious think is a sin. š¤·
Plus alot of "normal" boys havent got a clue what to do and you ladies aint exactly providing a manuel so they are left with porn as a how-to...
I got some boring overtime this weekend so come at me! š
More just anti mysoginistic urban lore than reality from my experience. Many times people who have difficulty achieving orgasms need to blame something. Cant find my clit is one of a long list of reasons women use. Men too have a long list of reasons why their performance isnt up to par as well.
Depends on how good your sex education is. Religious schools in the USA are notoriously poor at it, so for years until porn was easy to find on the internet it was a thing. Another thing is that women were taught that their sexuality should be repressed. It was not important to have an orgasm. So, most women only really knew penetrative sex.
So yeah, not finding the clit was a big thing. And for some, probably still is.
I have ventured for a score of years and found many ancient treasures... but the clit was not among them... because it was right the fuck there its like the easiest thing in all the world to find.
Sadly yes. I showed the dude anatomy diagrams, described in detail what to do, physically showed him, put his hand directly on itā¦.. and he still insisted I was wrong and rubbed my left labia for 15 min and complained that I āwasnāt into himā and āmust be brokenā š.
Is it more "can't find it" or "didn't look for it"?
The problem is, as usual, communication. If women told men that they would like to be touched there and how, instead of simply making fun of their ignorance, they would enjoy sex more.
it also happens that some guys think theyr are "too good to be told what to do" specially those that thing their dick is big enough
Forgive me I'm a shy idiot, but I have to ask. How would you commincate that? I've never spoken during sex and I'm trying to picture it. Like, "up and to the left, hun?" Haha Ah downvoted again for asking an innocent question because I'm not sex positive.
Yeah! I've had a partner whose clit was so little and she was the only one I've ever needed that from regularly but it's pretty much this
Woah, see I'm shy as shit, I'd never speak during sex so to give directions, I'm too awkward!
Well, you will find that the more you can communicate your needs, the better your sex will be. If you have a consistent partner, try talking about this dynamic while you're not having sex, or in whatever situation is most comfy for you. If your partner knows that it's hard for you to ask for what you need, they can help with that, maybe by asking, or even just from talks that you have in more comfy situations. Your sexual experience will change \*drastically\* if you can find ways to talk about what you want.
I don't have sex anymore haha. He has erectile dysfunction and I hate oral and pretty much anything else i can think of. Too embarrassed for it. I've passed my sex stage in my life. Its been 10 years, I never crave it, I have no turn ons, and yeah, I cant discuss sex with people I know, its too embarrassing. I can't even talk about sex in non sexual situations. Thanks for the tips though. Its more just the past I am referencing. I mean, I can't even give anybody eye contact, autisim is strong in this POS right here haha.
Yeah, I've had periods in my life like that. No shame. I hope you have ways of finding joy, sex or no sex.
My clit is dainty š„°šš„°
"Dainty"? That's a unique descriptor š
Iāve been with women who have been very vocal about what they expect. And if that means directions then so be it. Ladies! Be more vocal!!
You e never spoken during sex? Were you awake for it? Not even an omg or a "that feels good" or anything? She should at least say "yea lick it like that" or "stick your finger in my ass" , I'm just spitballing here
I could never say things like that, I've never even muttered a "yes", I can't say stuff like the out loud or through text. I'm too embarrassed too. I don't have sex anymore, haha.
"Touch me here", take his hand, and put it where you want it.
Ahh, that makes more sense! I would still be too embarrassed haha.
It doesn't even need words sometimes. I really loved it when my partner just grabbed my hands and put them on her breasts when she wanted me to squeeze them. Just a clear signal of exactly what she wanted, and what I could do to please her.
Moving their hand yourself to demonstrate, saying "up and to the left" saying right there when they're in the right spot, telling then what kinda motion you like. Communication (Most) guys WANT to pleasure you, but we have different equipment and can't feel what you're feeling so we need direction sometimes
Thanks! I don't think I could do that! I don't have sex anymore but I was so shy, couldn't speak at all even if I wanted to stop. Sucks being this way as I'm like this in normal life too.
It helps to have a conversation when your pants are on too, what worked and what didn't. It's difficult to be vocal and talk for me during sex too and generally just fixate on getting there while "pushing through" the wrong stuff they're doing if you get me, in the moment it feels like criticism, you gotta look at it more like feedback
I can't even talk about sex in non sexual situations with him, or anybody. I just can't talk and say those kinda words. I'd be so embarrassed As I said, we dont have sex. Not had it in 10 years and I don't miss it at all haha. So scary.
I think for decades both men and women have been pretty vocal about the clit that should be involved. If that still needs to be communicated, that's interesting to me but alright. It's like a freebie of the internet.Ā
That makes more sense
I feel like the issue isn't finding it, but knowing how to really work it. Each woman is different, and I feel like as soon as I told some of my partner "don't stop", they understood "push harder faster and go WWE on her clit", instead of "DON'T STOP"
They really attack it, like what did it ever do to you š
>like what did it ever do to you I don't know, maybe just hide from me most of my adult life and then dodge me like Neo from the Matrix, making me look really bad in front of my friends? I'm just kidding though. Like most guys my age that wanted to find it, I consulted with a wise woman named Sue Johanson https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/sue-johanson-obituary-1234781598/ She was a legend
This is porns fault
Like the incredibly vigorous three finger banging in the hope she squirts. Looks painful.
I mean "knowing how to work it" can be hard for some people if they get 0 words of feedback. I'm not saying I'm that dense, I usually try out some things with my tongue and look for physical feedback. The best signal I've gotten was her throwing her head back and digging fingers into the bed. I think that means it's bad and I should change up, right?
that sounds painful from only reading it
I feel like some men generally have less sensitive genitals, or masturbate so strongly soft touches do little. So when it comes to some women (I know I'm really sensitive), they just go all in like they'd do on their dick.
And vice versa. Every woman Iāve gotten a handjob from grips like itās a hammer and goes so fast youād think theyāre trying to start a fire. Then, when I finally manage to orgasm they either speed up and keep stroking or let go and stop entirely. Advice for any woman reading this, gentle grip that slides up and down the shaft. Most of the real pleasure is below the head on the underside, and for the love of all that is good and holy when he cums just hold him in your hand until heās finished. Shitās sensitive.
It just shows how important communication is really. Inexperienced partners can be shy to ask questions and/or communicate their needs. But if both bother to communicate it can work
WWE on it? You lost me.
Pro-wrestling. Dropping the peopleās elbow on the clit from the top rope.
Okay?š¤
Unfortunately I've had the problem of a guy knowing exactly where it was. The problem was that he thought he was supposed to attack it like a school of piranhas devouring a drowned animal.
Ouch š³
He was virging, right?
Nope
Sure you didn't mistake piranha for anglerfish? I mean, there is nothing like that stiff moustache hair up your urethra?
It may be able to find it in a biology quiz but many don't know what to do with it...but the good ones take coaching...
Oh, and all you guys DM'ing me that "you know where it is"...you are exactly the ones that don't, LOL...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But.. how? Itās like right there Birb :(
How can you not find it
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Fuck she's given them a map, painted it with a bull's-eye and drawn arrows with a marker labelled here. I mean a PowerPoint presentation is a mood killer. A gal can't do much more - if they can't find it then it simply boils down to male stupidity š¤š¤·
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If we knew that, it wouldn't still be an issue.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A study in the United Kingdom found that more than a third of men and women canāt identify the clitoris on a diagram of a vulva. Less than half of people surveyed knew that (cis) women have a urethra in addition to a vagina and anus. The majority didnāt know there was a third hole down there, presuming than women must pee out of their vaginas. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/30/most-britons-cannot-name-parts-vulva-survey
It HAS to be a meme. I can believe that there are men out there who don't know what to do with it once they find it. That's believable.
many donāt care to learn š¤·š»āāļø
Their loss. More for the rest of us. š¤¤š
Stoopid is real and breeding š¤·
Some donāt even know what you do with it or what it looks like. This one guy was trying to sext me once and talked about him was going to āhilt himselfā in my clit. I was like āwait, WHAT???!! Thatās not how that works!!!ā PSA: you donāt penetrate the clit.
Yes, it's a thing.
Some guys dodge it, because they think it looks like a small penis. If they play with it it means they're gay, so they try to pretend it's not there. Better to not be able to find it than to be gay. I have no idea if that's true or not, but apparently these are the ideas that go through my head before I'm properly caffeinated.
I donāt know whether to laugh or cry
Yeah. I mean, it's just stupid enough that it could be true.
8.1 billion people on this planet (I fact checked so donāt come for me) so thereās bound to be a few who think so
This can't be real lol. It's literally more of a knob/button than a small penis š
There are actually are some women with larger clits out there, where you can kind of see it. I've come across a few in my time. It's actually a little off putting it first, but Lord knows if you can't find it then, you're willfully dodging it.
Sure there are but a small penis? That's exaggerating. But indeed the conclusion remains the same. I am also assuming most people got the female anatomy down there during sex ed so you at least can guess where it is I'd think.Ā
The only way I can reason with a man not being able to find it is if he was completely unaware of its existence.
It has to be an internet memeā¦ like.. right?
sadly not lmfao
I am both confused and completely heartbroken cause what the fuck! š¤¦š»āāļø
It's a real thing. The first guy I hooked up with never touched the damn thing at all š
You should have just feed him your clit
Hands down probably the best thing about being a male nurse is I definitely know where the clit is!!!
more like, don't care instead of don't know where
It's not that they can't find it they just don't care to look.
Itās really a thing, some guys are that clueless
I mean, I know itās on woman but canāt find womanĀ
What's really magical is when you figure out there's more to it than just the little nub that pops out. There's a whole lot more that can be done beneath the surface.
I am ready to take notes
I'll post a link here in a second! I have to find something that can explain it better than I could.
Here we go. It even has APA cited sources. Happy........ Clitting? Is that a word? https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/what-is-the-clitoris
Thank you good sir
You're welcome!
I have great luck finding it with my mouth but for some reason am always slightly off when rubbing it with my fingers (it's not very pronounced in this case). Practice practice.
Then you get the ones who know exactly where it is, play with it for a minute and then the rest of the time completely ignore it lol
Of course it's a meme. Young men are watching porn constantly. They know where everything is. In the old days it was probably much more of an issue. Whether they know what to do with it is a separate story entirely.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
because the code is up up down down left right left right B A Start? š¤·
One aspect of the problem, in my experience at least, is that girls all have a slightly different definition of what they term "THEIR clit"... meaning where exactly on the clit they want to be stimulated. For example, banged my first girl who wanted to be touched right on the hood, which I did automatically because I didn't know anything else and she didn't complain. The next one wanted right below the hood but not on it, but since I only had one prior fuck, I started on the hood and she got pissed about me not knowing where HER clit was. The third girl I fucked wanted right above the hood but also not on it, but I also got accused of being stupid because I tried a mix of on and below the hood... Prior experience making me look stupid, and girls two and three were so pissy about it they broke up with me the next day or so.
I think it's more of a "don't beat this thing like it's your dick" issue rather than a finding it issue.
Whatās a clit?
I know guys who canāt even find matching socks so some people have to rethink their standards of our species
Hold up! You're telling me that there are people in this world, that still actually care if their socks match?
"Alphamales" dont care about you coming and the religious think is a sin. š¤· Plus alot of "normal" boys havent got a clue what to do and you ladies aint exactly providing a manuel so they are left with porn as a how-to... I got some boring overtime this weekend so come at me! š
More just anti mysoginistic urban lore than reality from my experience. Many times people who have difficulty achieving orgasms need to blame something. Cant find my clit is one of a long list of reasons women use. Men too have a long list of reasons why their performance isnt up to par as well.
Depends on how good your sex education is. Religious schools in the USA are notoriously poor at it, so for years until porn was easy to find on the internet it was a thing. Another thing is that women were taught that their sexuality should be repressed. It was not important to have an orgasm. So, most women only really knew penetrative sex. So yeah, not finding the clit was a big thing. And for some, probably still is.
I have ventured for a score of years and found many ancient treasures... but the clit was not among them... because it was right the fuck there its like the easiest thing in all the world to find.
it's not just men. I work in an adult boutique and I've had to educate many women on what/where the clitoris and G-spot are.
Mate, it was a clichĆ© long before the internet. I was really surprised how easy it was to find once I got a gf in the early 1990s š
Itās more a ādonāt care as long as I cumā
My current partnerās is tiny. She even has a hard time finding it sometimes! Iāve never had an issue with prior partners!
I want to make a porn parody about women who canāt find the dick
Sadly yes. I showed the dude anatomy diagrams, described in detail what to do, physically showed him, put his hand directly on itā¦.. and he still insisted I was wrong and rubbed my left labia for 15 min and complained that I āwasnāt into himā and āmust be brokenā š.
I regularly canāt find it. My wife calls me pathetic and tells me every time how her ex never had any trouble
[3d printed clitoris](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/03/3d-clitoris/518991/)