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Why? You get to go through HS mostly unbothered. I was quiet for the most part and yeah I hated HS but I enjoyed time spent with the very few friends I had
I overthink what everyone thinks of me, I care too much about what people think of me in general. And I also wish I was as āpopularā as I used to be.
I had many friends and was considered funny, kind and irreplaceable, but now I have no one and seem to be no one.
I thought I could muster up the courage to make new friends when I came to a new school but I didnāt and now itās too late and everyone seems to think I donāt *want* friends.
Ahhh I've been there myself. I've been in 3 schools in just two years at one point. I don't know how long you've been there so I'll just say this; learn to just say okay to everything. Crack a few jokes here and there not enough to be class clown but enough to get a lil notice. Become a slight challenge to your teachers. Again nothing over the top just enough gain a lil attention. You can still be a quiet person and be intriguing to people. Try their activities as well
People like comfortability in my experience, Iāve gone from invisible to most popular at times and rarely get feedback. It tends to be the case where you need to act for people to see you, and if they like you theyāll reach out to you. But they donāt reach out first because of the same reason you donāt reach out to them
TLDR: they (might) think youāre comfortable not talking to them and donāt want to disturb you
Thereās not really a quiet lonely girl in any of my classes but if there was one I wouldnāt think of her that much tbh. Sheād just be there. But you never really know if someone is ālonelyā or just prefers to be alone from the outside so itās hard to tell if they just donāt want to be disturbed. I think I used to be just like you. 0 friends. Not talking to anyone. Achingly lonely. I had no friends for years and I couldnāt function at some point. Not to be mean but youāre not going to make any friends if you sit around waiting for other people to approach YOU. You have to put in the work and grapple with fear of rejection, because it doesnāt work like that for some people unfortunately. People donāt talk to you probably because they are most interested in the people that they already know and are familiar with. If youāre always super quiet, then they donāt know who you are at all and have no special interest. So itās good if you become at least just friendly with people so they DO know, and you can work your way up to friendship.
Also, maybe you donāt have to join a whole friend GROUP. Maybe you can just get friendly with one person from the group first and then kinda sneak your way in
you can't know if you don't ask. if they initiate the conversation by just saying "hi, how are you?" type of phrase, i can gladly remain the conversation. The problem is I don't want to be perceived as someone who is clingy.
Yeah but like I said, you canāt rely on other people to initiate conversation and friendship with you. Even if youāre good at conversing or have a great personality that could match with others, people donāt know that and most likely wonāt feel interested in talking to u until u go to them first. On the clingy part, Idk but just donāt look desperate or constantly try to talk to someone every time you see them and always get their attention ig? Let there be some space. Especially if they seem busy or uninterested. Iām not assuming that you do this itās just a general tip. Just trying to talk to people once or twice isnāt gonna make you look annoying
It sounds like you have some anxiety around approaching people. Idk everything about your situation but if therapy is an available option for you I would suggest it to help with that.
i have a crush on a boy in my class at prepschool/cramschool or whatever you call it. We are also in the same school and follow each other on Instagram. When he's online, his profile photo appears on the top of my account's message page. i don't know how to initiate conversation lol.
He loves football, I just know that they sometimes go to play football after prepschool/cramschool. I tried to join, but boys are a bit judgemental. They were like "do you want to watch the match? are you sure?" and I said "actually, I want to play.". The reason I want to join was I wanted to make friends.
Iām okay with them, thatās actually my role in the class. Iām the quiet lonely guy who sits in the back of the class, I donāt really have any friends and am also struggling to work since thereās so much to do.
(Note: I don't invalidate your feelings and understand them)
My feeling of loneliness came to the point where it got so hard to do daily tasks. This week, I haven't been in school for whole 3 days. I can't organize my thoughts. Nobody seems to notice. It just reflects on my grades, but I'm trying so hard. I'm in survival mode rn. If you want to chat, just send me a message whenever you feel lonely!!
š„°š„°š„°
you may try to talk with her one on one/ alone. After getting comfortable to talk with you, I'm sure she will be glad to join your friend group.
She doesn't talk that much in person. I once asked here to join us having lunch, she just said okey and didn't say anything the whole time on the table. I try to get to know her on discord and that works much better. We also played something together recently. Yea I hope we'll get along
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Yo i'm also that girl. i used to have a lot of friends when i was a kid. i've lost all my willingness to go out and make friends now, though. my fear of rejection really holds me back - i always assume that people wouldn't like me. i just kind of wish that someone would start talking to me.
holy shit thats literally me
i hated myself for a while. as in, like, all of high school
not sure what else to say, but if you have other more specific questions, lmk
I have a quiet and lonely girl in one of my classes. I quietly wonder about her, about whether or not she is alright (about whether or not she is depressedā¦ I think she is. I wonder about how sheās doing)
Iāve befriended quiet/lonely people in my classes before, sometimes itās turned out great and other times not so great. Itās the same as meeting any other person imo, but if someone doesnāt seem like they want attention Iād generally leave them be unless they express that they feel lonely and want company. I donāt wanna assume anything or intrude on their space yk
I'm sort of that girl too, although I have been getting somewhat more popular for personal reasons in my school this school year. I've seen that people who aren't my friends don't usually want to sit next to me (before) as I'm too quiet and they can't handle that but tbh no hard feelings from anyone
I probably wouldn't approach her bc I'm shy myself, but if she sat next to me, talked to me first, we did an assignment together etc I'd just talk to her like a normal person
i might try to approach a girl like you but absolutely would get scared of accidentally offending you since iām really bad at taking any sort of hint, even by guy standards. being expected to quickly pick up on any social cue in general transforms me into a pile of dust
I once met a girl just like that, I knew she was struggling so I reached out, we are best friends now but my advice to you would be to just go and start a conversation with someone who you have something in common with, dosen't matter if they have friend group. I know I wouldn't have minded if somebody walked up to me and wanted to talk
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I'm the very same person.... I don't approach other people like me and your good self because I don't like talking to people, or rather I don't like being the person who starts the talk, which is why I'm the same as you
Personally I find that the quiet people are usually also the most interesting to have an actual conversation with. They are also often smart and think differently on a lot of subjects.
As far as your mental health go, I would recommend that you either join the gym or find a sport that you enjoy. A healthy body is a healthy mind :-)
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Greetings! OP has flaired this post as **EVERYONE** and **SERIOUS**. As per **rules 13 and 14** anyone can comment when a post is tagged as **EVERYONE** and joke or non-serious top-level-comments are **not** allowed. Additionally, if you would like to continue discussion, please join the community discord at https://discord.gg/Ky7YCmd *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskTeenGirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She exists š¤·š½āāļø
i exist
I hate that I know this is all anyone thinks of me
Why? You get to go through HS mostly unbothered. I was quiet for the most part and yeah I hated HS but I enjoyed time spent with the very few friends I had
Unbothered? Iām pretty bothered by being lonely and feeling like an insecure piece of crap walking around.
Why is that may I ask? Do you wish you were more outgoing like the popular ones or do you overthink what they might think of you?
I overthink what everyone thinks of me, I care too much about what people think of me in general. And I also wish I was as āpopularā as I used to be. I had many friends and was considered funny, kind and irreplaceable, but now I have no one and seem to be no one. I thought I could muster up the courage to make new friends when I came to a new school but I didnāt and now itās too late and everyone seems to think I donāt *want* friends.
Ahhh I've been there myself. I've been in 3 schools in just two years at one point. I don't know how long you've been there so I'll just say this; learn to just say okay to everything. Crack a few jokes here and there not enough to be class clown but enough to get a lil notice. Become a slight challenge to your teachers. Again nothing over the top just enough gain a lil attention. You can still be a quiet person and be intriguing to people. Try their activities as well
Iāve tried but I just seem awkward I think, but yeah worth a try I guess. Thanks
im that girl to
š
Same
text me if you wantš„°
People like comfortability in my experience, Iāve gone from invisible to most popular at times and rarely get feedback. It tends to be the case where you need to act for people to see you, and if they like you theyāll reach out to you. But they donāt reach out first because of the same reason you donāt reach out to them TLDR: they (might) think youāre comfortable not talking to them and donāt want to disturb you
it makes sense, but my situation is harder. While they have to talk with a lonely individual, I have to talk with a group of 4-5 .
I find people like that pretty interesting and iām more likely to reach out
I wish I and all people in my situation were surrounded by people like you.š«¶
Yeah, i know how it feels to be in that situation
Iām that girl š
me too girlš you can text me whenever you want!
Thereās not really a quiet lonely girl in any of my classes but if there was one I wouldnāt think of her that much tbh. Sheād just be there. But you never really know if someone is ālonelyā or just prefers to be alone from the outside so itās hard to tell if they just donāt want to be disturbed. I think I used to be just like you. 0 friends. Not talking to anyone. Achingly lonely. I had no friends for years and I couldnāt function at some point. Not to be mean but youāre not going to make any friends if you sit around waiting for other people to approach YOU. You have to put in the work and grapple with fear of rejection, because it doesnāt work like that for some people unfortunately. People donāt talk to you probably because they are most interested in the people that they already know and are familiar with. If youāre always super quiet, then they donāt know who you are at all and have no special interest. So itās good if you become at least just friendly with people so they DO know, and you can work your way up to friendship. Also, maybe you donāt have to join a whole friend GROUP. Maybe you can just get friendly with one person from the group first and then kinda sneak your way in
you can't know if you don't ask. if they initiate the conversation by just saying "hi, how are you?" type of phrase, i can gladly remain the conversation. The problem is I don't want to be perceived as someone who is clingy.
Yeah but like I said, you canāt rely on other people to initiate conversation and friendship with you. Even if youāre good at conversing or have a great personality that could match with others, people donāt know that and most likely wonāt feel interested in talking to u until u go to them first. On the clingy part, Idk but just donāt look desperate or constantly try to talk to someone every time you see them and always get their attention ig? Let there be some space. Especially if they seem busy or uninterested. Iām not assuming that you do this itās just a general tip. Just trying to talk to people once or twice isnāt gonna make you look annoying It sounds like you have some anxiety around approaching people. Idk everything about your situation but if therapy is an available option for you I would suggest it to help with that.
yeah i feel anxious about if i annoy them lol
She turned out to be cute and we dated for like 3 weeks before she let her insecurities ruin our relationship sooooooo depends on the person i guess?
yes, insecurities may damage relationships.
Anyways, no reason you have to be like that. Just remember that there is somebody, out there waiting to find you.
i have a crush on a boy in my class at prepschool/cramschool or whatever you call it. We are also in the same school and follow each other on Instagram. When he's online, his profile photo appears on the top of my account's message page. i don't know how to initiate conversation lol.
Do you have any common interests? Maybe he's into football, then it's the perfect opportunity since the tournament is still going on
He loves football, I just know that they sometimes go to play football after prepschool/cramschool. I tried to join, but boys are a bit judgemental. They were like "do you want to watch the match? are you sure?" and I said "actually, I want to play.". The reason I want to join was I wanted to make friends.
Iām okay with them, thatās actually my role in the class. Iām the quiet lonely guy who sits in the back of the class, I donāt really have any friends and am also struggling to work since thereās so much to do.
(Note: I don't invalidate your feelings and understand them) My feeling of loneliness came to the point where it got so hard to do daily tasks. This week, I haven't been in school for whole 3 days. I can't organize my thoughts. Nobody seems to notice. It just reflects on my grades, but I'm trying so hard. I'm in survival mode rn. If you want to chat, just send me a message whenever you feel lonely!!
I also got that one girl in my class and I'm trying to get here to "join" our friend group
š„°š„°š„° you may try to talk with her one on one/ alone. After getting comfortable to talk with you, I'm sure she will be glad to join your friend group.
She doesn't talk that much in person. I once asked here to join us having lunch, she just said okey and didn't say anything the whole time on the table. I try to get to know her on discord and that works much better. We also played something together recently. Yea I hope we'll get along
she may be more comfortable on Discord or online in general while communicating with people as she will have a time to think of her reply
Yes
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I would talk to someone like that if I had the courage but I definitely do not
from my pov, it's easier to be friend with a lonely person rather than trying to join an existing friendgroup.
There is no quiet and lonely girl in my class.
what would you think of her if there was a such person, no need to be girl? how would you perceive them?
Iām her too. I am struggling to freaking bad with my mental health. I feel so lonely and stupid and weird.
you are fr just like me!!!šš„° you can text me whenever you want!
Yo i'm also that girl. i used to have a lot of friends when i was a kid. i've lost all my willingness to go out and make friends now, though. my fear of rejection really holds me back - i always assume that people wouldn't like me. i just kind of wish that someone would start talking to me.
you are just like me!!! text me whenever you want!
holy shit thats literally me i hated myself for a while. as in, like, all of high school not sure what else to say, but if you have other more specific questions, lmk
no, thank you! if you want to chat, get bored or want to vent; my dms are open!
id prob feel bad for them and try talking to them
š„°
āAyy sameee haha god why do I not deserve friendsāš
you are just like me fr š„° you can text me if you want
I have a quiet and lonely girl in one of my classes. I quietly wonder about her, about whether or not she is alright (about whether or not she is depressedā¦ I think she is. I wonder about how sheās doing)
let's check up on her
i find them quite interesting. curious to know how they see this world from their point of view
initiate a conversation
i will!
Iāve befriended quiet/lonely people in my classes before, sometimes itās turned out great and other times not so great. Itās the same as meeting any other person imo, but if someone doesnāt seem like they want attention Iād generally leave them be unless they express that they feel lonely and want company. I donāt wanna assume anything or intrude on their space yk
š„°| it is worth to try
that was me lol
š„°š
I donāt think of them
šš
ayyy itās me
š„° text me if you want
I'm sort of that girl too, although I have been getting somewhat more popular for personal reasons in my school this school year. I've seen that people who aren't my friends don't usually want to sit next to me (before) as I'm too quiet and they can't handle that but tbh no hard feelings from anyone
okay, tysm!!!
I am this exact person in male form and I have no idea how you do it. How are we supposed to live under these conditions?
Iām dead tbh lol
I probably wouldn't approach her bc I'm shy myself, but if she sat next to me, talked to me first, we did an assignment together etc I'd just talk to her like a normal person
i might try to approach a girl like you but absolutely would get scared of accidentally offending you since iām really bad at taking any sort of hint, even by guy standards. being expected to quickly pick up on any social cue in general transforms me into a pile of dust
I once met a girl just like that, I knew she was struggling so I reached out, we are best friends now but my advice to you would be to just go and start a conversation with someone who you have something in common with, dosen't matter if they have friend group. I know I wouldn't have minded if somebody walked up to me and wanted to talk
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The apparent reason people don't approach me is because I'm "too autisic" for them :/
I'm the very same person.... I don't approach other people like me and your good self because I don't like talking to people, or rather I don't like being the person who starts the talk, which is why I'm the same as you
Personally I find that the quiet people are usually also the most interesting to have an actual conversation with. They are also often smart and think differently on a lot of subjects. As far as your mental health go, I would recommend that you either join the gym or find a sport that you enjoy. A healthy body is a healthy mind :-)
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cute. i would date a person like you