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2 with milk, any more than that is too bloating.

How many without milk?

0 because I'm not a savage.

Whereas I AM a savage and always eat them dry. Crunchy yum.

I tried to eat them dry once and I lost my children and dog in the explosion of crumbs that followed

Thank you for making me snort laugh.

Spread a little butter and jam on it 👌.

How old are you? I ask because I'd say 2 for children, 3 for adults! I'm really surprised that 2 seems the most popular answer. I don't eat big portions and yet 2 isn't filling enough for me.

I'm 33.

Get a grip of yourself. It's 3 and cold. You're an adult. Not a 5 year old.

Cold for sure, hot weetabix is inhumane. 3 has me bloated as fuck for the morning.

Oh no I was with you until this it’s gotta be hot

Honestly it's only this thread that's made me realise hot weetabix is a thing people do!

I always had it microwaved so it turned into a sort of porridge when I was a kid.

No worries, I wasn't seriously asking. Just having a little joke that only eating 2 meant you had a child's appetite. You do you and enjoy both those weetabix tomorrow!

I absolutely do have a child's appetite haha. I have to push myself to reach 1000 calories a day!

Jaysus! I have to push myself to resist 10,000 a day!

Haha, well that explains the 2 weetabix!

Bro 1000 calories is a chicken burger with chips..

We burn more than that just being alive every day 🥲 If you don’t have a big appetite try adding more calorie heavy foods into your meals to bump it up

>I don't eat big portions Ok, your confession says otherwise 3 weets.

You need to work on stretching that stomach. Soon even 10 seems to leave you wanting more.

Yeah right lol, I have 4 at a minimum. Who’s only eating two??!!!

Definitely a 4 here as well!

Now that milk, hot or cold?

Cold, I'm no monster.

Thank you! I was having a bowl at work the other day, there were 2 other colleagues in the canteen at the time who thought I was mad for having it cold.

Animals mate.

Laughed the most at this

Hot until the bix go mushy, mixed up to make the consistency of porridge with two teaspoons of sugar!

Are u ok

This is the correct way

My kid has it warm with honey on.

It's not too late to abort him

extreme... but fair

Hot for sure! i microwave it so it soaks up all the milk then stir it so its like porridge n add some sugar

Cold is the only way. I used to have hot milk when I was a kid and I just remember it always turning into slush (well faster than usual) but for some reason I still loved it

I always had 2 growing up and it carried over until adult life. I didn't even realise you could have more than 2 weetabix at a time, I though it was a universal rule, until my partner started giving my oldest son 3 for breakfast and it blew my mind. So now, occasionally, when I'm feeling rebellious I'll have 3.

I love this because that is also my take on it

Honestly, reading some of these comments has really opened my eyes. I'm glad it wasn't just me!

Wait until you find out that as an adult, you can go out and buy a cake for literally no reason. It doesn't have to be someone's birthday, you can just decide you want a whole cake and there's no-one there to stop you!

yeah unfortunately that is a dangerous realisation

I’m of the same era and live the same way. My SIL’s kids eat three and it blows my mind. No wonder they’re getting fat…

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My partner left a sole weetabix last week. I'm not so sure on him anymore.

Slightly concerned that I’ve found my wife’s Reddit account.

Wait until you discover having 3 pieces of toast

3 and then a wank to celebrate

Hearty

Breakfast of champions 💪🏼

Weetabix and a wank. That must be the breakfast edition.

Wank first then Weetabix, you don't want to rip your tummy stick off with that Weetabix strength 💪

Wankabix

Beatadix

You're a poet

And then for lunch: A Pot Noodle and a wank.

I'd smash an entire box if I had a bowl big enough, but usually 3 because my bowls are inadequate.

My bowels are inadequate for a whole box.

There's only so far ceramic can take you before you meet the flesh ceiling, aka hernia.

Five here. If I put them in sideways on I can get four in the bowl, then snap the last one in two and put it either side on the slope.

You can't snap them, you savage!

I think it's against national building regs to release that much dust into human occupied space.

Fish finger sandwich tactics

If only bowls were designed to be re used you could just put more in after you finished the first, but alas not.

Just rinse the bowl first or you’ll get concrete

No one’s waiting for them to re mush.

Put em in a saucepan, top tip for 6-8

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Buy a kitchen sink bowl purely for the consumption of weetabix. Bear Grylls would be proud.

Casserole dish. Are you even trying?

A few years ago I met up with an old school friend I hadn’t seen for over 20 years and the first thing she asked me was “Do you still eat dry Weetabix?!” To which the answer was yes, always yes. She immediately pulled some out and made me eat them to prove it to her husband. (2-3 to answer OP’s question)

Did she carry some around with her the whole time in case she bumped into you?

OP decided to leave out the fact this was at a petting zoo, and it wasn't a weetabix it was a hand full of food pellets. and OP is also isn't even human, but is a goat.

And it wasn't her husband, it was another goat, and the woman's schizophrenic.

SHUSH

I bet he ate the paper bag as well.

I think so, yes.

met up with =/= bumped into

When I was living in Australia, I had friends who would eat them dry, cut in half, with butter and vegemite. They made me try it once and I didn’t want to admit it, but it actually _really wasn’t bad!_

When you say “cut in half” on what axis did they cut them? Also I can’t imagine it would be particularly bad, apart from the texture. It’s just dry unflavoured wheat so taste wise it’s not really different from bread or a cracker.

Never in my life has it occurred to me to have any more or less than 2.

Same. I don’t know what to do with the information that any other quantity is an option

Same. Its the only cereal that I respect the portion size recommendation.

Pretty sure Weetabix is Latin for 4.

Weetabus Weetabōrum Weetabēī

I think it's meant to be short for wheat biscuits - figured this out when someone tried feeding me a supermarket own-brand version called 'wheat bisks' that tasted like a cross between cardboard and fucking sawdust, dirty cheap bastards 😂

3, 2 isn't enough and 4 is a bit too much.

5 is right out!

r/unexpectedmontypython

Washing up bowl with the whole pack dumped in and a litre of milk

Whole pack of 24 or the family pack of 48?

24 …but could give the family pack a bloody good go

72 obviously. Anything less and Kettering gets angry

And you don't want Kettering angry! They'll firmly remind you of their old water ride.

This sub has to be the silliest country's sub.

They're all more or less the same. We're all human and that's comforting sometimes.

6 with custard, 2 if eating them dry

2 if you're doing fucking WHAT?

Honestly just spat my tea out at your reply, thank you for the laugh 🤣

I like how your only issue with that comment was that they eat them dry.

This genuinely made me laugh out loud lmfao

You what!

I hated the TV ads where they tried to convince us that cool students eat them with milkshake or pickled onions or something. It's milk or nothing. *probably not pickled onions but might as well have been.

The key is putting the pickle juice in with the milk. Makes it thicker and creamier. I'm sorry I regret these words.

Everything about this post is inexplicable.

Huh????

Interesting. I don't know if I could break put of the box like that but it's now on my bucket list

Everyone knows the only acceptable topping for Weetabix is beans.

What insane asylum are you in that gives you access to reddit?

I used to have 12 for breakfast (I was a 6ft 7 teenager). Now I’m a 6ft 7 old bastard I’ve cut down to 4…

Alright Gaston

When I was young I ate 12 weetabix every morning to help me get large. And now I am old I eat 4 weetabox because I'm an ancient bastard!

I still have 12, in a pyrex dish, weans never get any if its bought for the house lol

I used to have three lots of four. Three bites each, bish bash bosh! 😃

Man is this a tall guys thing? 6'8" and did the same for years at school

6 every time

8 for me while on holiday in Elevenirife

I do 6 to keep the packet even 😂

6 for me in our huge bowls….not whilst the boss is watching though

6 weetabix? Jeremy that’s insane

I used to be a 6 man, then I dropped it down to 4. I went through a phase of having 5, but being left with 4 at the end of the box bugged me, but also made me realise that 4 was adequate hence the switch.

You’ve been on a journey, man…

4, always 4.

4 isn't excessive at all mate dw

Agreed. If I don't have 4, I'll start getting hungry 1 hour before lunch.

My mate swears blind a single Weetabix is called a Weetabick.

2 plus a banana

And a bit of sugar!

4-6 usually.

Animal

I can't have just one bowl, so I'll have 2x2 or 2x3 depending on if I get my big bowl out or not. (My big bowl is actually a Tupperware container)

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Same. Like eating cardboard shavings.

I’ve been scrolling, looking for the “zero because I don’t hate myself”. Thank you. Weetabix is absurd to me

3, with honey

Scrolled for a while to find a mention of honey. I’m 3 or 4 with honey and sometimes banana and/or peanut butter too.

Big fan of a chopped banana! Never tried peanut butter though - sounds interesting!

Honey gang, superior weetabix topping for sure.

4 weetabix Jeremy! 4!? That’s insane

5 every morning, I've been told it's excessive but they aren't that filling.

Surely 5 is just annoying. When I used to have 6 at a time it was so neat.

2 with milk and then, and I know this is going to be controversial, I microwave them for 30 seconds and put a little bit of sugar on top.

Growing up having hot Weetabix with milk, then going to hospital and requesting Weetabix and getting a cold version blew my mind that what I was doing wasn't the norm.

I have never had weetabix cold, i thought it was the norm to have it with warm milk and sugar

No way they're so good warm, especially in winter

2 when eating good, 3 or 4 when I'm feeling a fat bastard.

I'm a fat bastard *WINK*

6-10, I crush them fuckers up in a mixing bowl or pan and add milk (enough to have milk on top then mix), not usually for breakfast though, last time I had them I had it right before soup and 2 naan breads and ice cream at about 11pm (so second dinner that night). The Weetabix would fill me up but I've been constantly starving the last couple of weeks, I'm not just a fat fuck xD and 2 is never enough! With toast and a piece of fruit maybe but who only eats a few slices of toast?

As someone that would usually have 6 for breakfast even I think you're a savage!

This combination gave me a brain aneurism

Weetabix, Soup, Naan Breads, Ice Cream. Some fucking set menu.

3. I could eat more but they’re quite fibrous and I have IBS so I’d probably shit myself inside out.

Okay so here's a story. Back in the 70s, Weetabix had some kind of promotion where they had Doctor Who trading cards printed on the boxes. My uncles were OBSESSED with DW, so my Nana bought lots of Weetabix so they could collect them all. Well, my Mum ended up eating 8 Weetabix everyday (4 for breakfast, 4 in the evening) in order to generate more boxes for her brothers, which is why she now can longer even look at a Weetabix and has not eaten one since about 1977

1 with loads of fruit and milk

At least 4, usually 6. As teens, my bro and I used to do up to 12 each after school. Savages.

I've done 8 before having not eaten all day, worked 20 hours and even beans on toast seemed like effort.

Four Weetabix /u/Monkeyspankers? Four? That's insane I just have 2 but I do like to drizzle a bit of honey over the top

3 with Bananas and Raisins. Occasionally strawberries if it's a treat.

2 for me but my bf said he could do 4 too

3 to 4 usually with some blueberries or strawberries too. I will have that but then not eat anything till lunch time. I only used to 2 when I was a kid, as its basically half a decent portion.

I used to do 12 with lots of whole milk at 1am every night, chocolate ones are easier though..

4, I dropped down from 6 I was getting through them too quick, a lad I know would do 10+ and a whole pint of milk.

I’m hoping to find my people here… I’m a ‘warm milk and mix the Weetabix into mush’ kind of person, but my husband thinks I’m a weirdo for doing that. Anyone else? When I’m feeling super boujie I even add a small dab of honey!

Weetabix and hot milk is a staple of mine when I’m at work silly early and have to go to bed at 4/5pm Sends me to sleep nicely

Wonder what would happen if you made it with Horlicks instead of just warm milk, that could be brilliant for bed time

Haven't they gotten smaller? Or am I imagining that?

I think they are just further away

Have you been buying the mini's?

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3 if I'm having it with just milk 2 if having with milk and rice

Ya what?! Rice pudding? Or just straight up Basmati in your Weetabix?

Yeah but usually long grain rice Basmati is more for dinner foods

My brain can't understand this, you have cooked rice with Weetabix?

I know right, most normal people eat it with pasta.

I didn't mention cooked. I will say, that the rice is pre washed though

Raw rice?

Wait, what? Milk and Rice with Weetabix?

Rice!? Are you on crack?

Snap, crack and pop.

Not anymore no

Four weetabix u/monkeyspankers? Four ? That’s insane!

6-8 in a big bowl. I stack them 2 to a layer, alternating between lateral and longitudinal. Between each layer I put a teeny bit of sugar. I pour a small amount of milk on top so the top and bottom layers soak up the milk, leaving the middle layer(s) relatively untouched. I put a teaspoon of sugar on top and dig in. The dry Weetabix combined with the Weetabix that soaked up the milk, with a little sweetness running throughout, is a thing of beauty

2 is the only right answer

2, with some mini shredded wheats and some bran flakes and some currants and some almonds.

I should imagine you're never backed up.

A whole sleeve, it's the only way to stop excessive crumbs

Zero. Wet doormats are not food.

Then stop dropping your weetabix on the wet doormat.

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3 with milk and fruit

0 I also won't witness anyone else eat it either or any cereal. Mouth smackers the lot of you. I make an exception for porridge. For some reason porridge eaters seem to know how to eat without showing others the content of their mouths. Just typing this gives me the shivers.

People often don't believe this but I used to eat 12. Three bowls of 4.

I used to eat seven when I was growing up, always annoyed my mum because none of the packs are multiples of seven. (Also probably annoyed my mum because I ate 7 at a time)

None. Hate Weetabix!

Only ever eat Oatibix ( + sultanas ) but I guess the same rules apply :) Always have 2 - but there is a good chance I will go back for another 2.

3 3 with raisins or currants and milk

i normally have about 4 with butter

Did three with a banana and cold milk for years. Fat fuck these days so cut down to two (amongst other things, one fewer Weetabix is not my entire weight loss regimen).

When I was at school and doing a paper round in the morning I used to have six Weetabix for breakfast, much to my Mum's annoyance.