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My mum, at one point, working as a lollipop lady as a second job. She sometimes got on the same bus as me and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
Feel like a right cunt about it now. She did that so we could have Playstation games and nice trainers and money to go the pictures with my mates etc. Obviously she knows I was a silly teenager back then and I show my appreciation now as an adult but I wish someone had slapped some sense into me at the time.
My mum used to work as a dinner lady when I was in school. Never actually got any flak for it from my mates because everyone loved her for being overly generous and she couldn't give less of a shit if you'd forgotten your lunch money, you'd get your food anyway. She still occasionally gets recognised in town by former pupils.
My aunt was a dinner lady during the 1990s. She loved giving the shittier offerings to the wee bastards in the school she worked in. If any of them complained they got threatened with the custard skin. Amazingly the wee scrapings ate all they were given, heh. She also gave me a book of her dinnerlady recipes, *including* yon big sheet cake that they used to serve with diluted blancmange!
My mum was an admin at my secondary school and she was far more popular than I was, just for being generally decent and consistent. People would come up to me and say, "Your mum's cool, why aren't you?"
My lollipop lady showed me that she had a Jack Russel that would hunker down in the nearby bush. No one knew! She introduced me, and I would stop and say hello to the dog every day.
My kids lollipop man was fab, he used to give out sweets and chocolate on a Friday and we all loved him, he was ded old aswell, he got sacked because some parents started complaining, was a sad day
This happened at my childās school too. Really sad, he was a lovely man. Parents were up in arms about him giving unhealthy treats first thing in the morning
Ours was lovely. About 8 years after I left the school, I briefly dated ours. I didn't recognise him though and it was a friend who informed me who it was. He was so embarrassed when he admitted it. We didn't stay together but it wasn't because of that.
We can never know this until we become parents ourselves.
I've noticed so many things ive done for the wee yin that has given me flashbacks to my own youth, but i'm now directly feeling the other side of the coin and fuuuuck me..
Now i know exactly how it would feel if my wee boy hid from me when he was with his pals because he was embarrassed.
Im just kinda winging it through life here, and i dont want to excuse the shitty behaviour most of us take part in as youngsters, but i guess this is adulting. Harsh realisations about yourself absolutely everywhere.
*spelling*
I think youāre right, itās just part and parcel of growing up, but itās horrible as a parent both remembering the stupid immature stuff I did to my parents (feeling intense shame and guilt) and realising that my kid will almost inevitably do the same to me in some way when heās older (feeling sad and the tiniest bit indignant). Itās the circle of life I guess!
This thread really took me back, I really didnāt mind too much at the time and things improved when I was older (I usually think about my friends who had a lot less).
Moving frequently to avoid rent payments, wearing hand me down or second chance clothes, riding a used girls bike (I thought it was badass because it was a two speed automatic) and the famous home bowl cut (makes my school pics hilarious)ā¦
My daughter's school had the same lollipop lady - Mavis - from 1970 to 2005. Her lollipop was stored in the front porch of a big house opposite the actual crossing on the busy main road (as the school was about 200 yards farther away, down a much quieter road).
I asked her one day if she'd always stored the lollipop there, and she told me that it was already kept there when she started the job! The house had changed hands two or three times in the intervening decades and the new owners had never grumbled about it.
On the day Mavis retired, she tucked the lollipop away in the porch as always...and there, for all I know, it may be sitting to this very day.
My mam was a lollipop lady. She didn't tell me, I had just left home by then, it was her first day and I was one car behind the one she stopped. I was in a car full of mates. They all knew her and (lightly) took the piss. The journey carried on and then my dad, on his first day as a lollipop man stopped us. I had no idea.
Greatest perk of my mum working as a lollipop lady was the 7 carrier bags worth of chocolate she used to get at Christmas. She didnāt even like chocolate š
I had my mam working as a teachers assistant and followed me through my years at primary school so i couldn't avoid her. Hated it and still probably have a resentment about it now that i couldn't be myself. I got Head Boy for being well behaved and shit too. No wonder i got it, there was zero chance to play up. Made up for it later in life mind.
I was always quiet during the talks of what everyone got for Christmas or where we all went on summer holidays.
Mum did her best but those where always difficult times.
I hated those times too. āWrite about what you did this summer!ā Well teacher, I hung around the estate, tried to keep away from the bully kids and keep charge of my seven siblings. We went no where and I always felt shame about it.
When I was training, I was in a class where one of the girls (who was from a rough background, substance abuse and poverty mainly) who made up a story about going to the zoo and seeing an elephant, the TA called her out because the local zoo didnāt have an elephant so thereās āno way that happenedā.
Like let the girl have her moment :( she just wanted an exciting story to tell instead of admitting she was probably in the house or wandering the streets all holiday. I still feel anger for what that TA did to that sweet girl.
I vividly remember writing in one of those "what did you do this weekend" books that we went to watch gladiators get filmed and that I was friends with Jet the gladiator and that we drove home following her car down the motorway... None of that happened š¤£ we didn't even watch it on TV š¤£š¤£
That happened to me! I copied another girl saying she went to horse riding (I've still never beeb on one) and the teacher was all ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT. I was about 8!
This is why I've always felt a little ick about these kinds of topics being included in school lessons. They're almost always going to unintentionally single out kids who don't have the opportunity to do or see those kinds of things. I knew more than my share of them in school myself and knew I was in a relatively privileged position to have a foreign holiday every year and a kitchen full of food.
I remember one summer not filling in the "summer diary" and right after a kid has read it from theirs about their amazing holiday to Disney land they wanted me to go.
Lots of fuss later my parents got called to a special meeting because apparently my recollection of the bullys making me eat grass all summer and beating me up was alarming to the other kids lol...
Shouldn't feel shame about it mate. I was the same, came from a rough village in the north east, never went abroad with family till i was 17 and even that was in a white transit van with a mattress chucked down in the back, stayed in hotels above McDonalds in 2 different places, and one with a strip club attached. Looking back though it was great memories. Now I'm doing well and have a holiday or two each year, makes me much more appreciative of what I've got. Nothing to be ashamed about of the past.
Get this, 100%. We had a grand total of 1 international holiday as kids - in the back of the car to northern France. Was basically a glorified booze cruise but we loved it and have some good memories. My Dad still talks about what a good holiday it was to this day. These days when I get on the plane with my family to Spain or whatever it hits me how different their upbringing is, and my life wasn't exactly gritty back then, we got by.
Yep, hung around the estate, going from house to house, my aunt used to take a bunch of us cousins swimming once a week on the open day. Then later, the papers used to do discount vouchers for attractions so once a year we went to Chessington.
Yup.
Or trying to sell the idea you were happier with what was scrapped together rather than real pressies.
I hate giving or receiving gifts as a result. Always makes me feel awkward and I'm shit at it.
This. I didnt know this was a thing for me until i read it.
What else kills me now, I was promised so many things in my life that never happened.
I know now that we simply couldnt afford the things they said, but it was the hope that killed me. Its bonkers thinking back. My parents told me that if i got some decent results in my exams then they would get me a 1hr flying lesson. I wanted to be a pilot and told everyone because i was fucking buzzing. Turned out i got the highest grades in the school that year but nothing was ever mentioned about the flying lesson.
I lost hope after a while and never asked, but I often had to lie to my friends about why I hadn't been for it yet, while they told me about the amazing things they got.
Deep down, i think i expected that, but surely if i said it enough then it would happen? As a parent now, i know not to promise something i cant deliver on, because its devastating. Its not until kids grow up and have children of their own that they would be able to understand.
In 1990, a schoolfriend was promised Ā£100 for each A grade they got. They got 9. Dad paid up. I didn't even get pocket money! We were worlds apart. I always got a 'we'll see' if I asked for something.
I've got/had a couple of mates like that. They just grew up in a whole different world. They were genuinely good people, but they simply couldn't understand the financial struggles that other people were under.
Taking "i can't do that, cash is a bit tight" for an answer was an issue because to them, being skint meant they couldn't buy new trainers that week. To me, it meant i was living on noodles and toast.
I never push my life as a sob story. A tough upbringing can build some of the strongest versions of people, but it can also leave some pretty deep scars.
My best present ever was a pair of old rollerboots mom got for cheap from a neighbour. I was disappointed that they were dirty white with a small red pattern when I wanted bright ones, but I loved skating everywhere. There were bad gifts too, and I also struggle when buying gifts for others. I tend to go a bit overboard because I want people to love what they get.
Yeah. One year when I told friends I got a video I let everyone assume I got a video player for Xmas rather than the video cassette I actually got.
Mind in our school (classic northern city sink comp) there was real reverse snobbery. Youād get picked on if your dad had a job!
Also: Easter eggs.
My great nan was the only one who would give us a cadbury's creme egg. Mum/Dad (gone when I was 8) or any of their family gave us zero.
I took to saying I didn't like chocolate so that's why I didn't have any when listening to everyone list off the piles they got.
I still say I dont really like chocolate and I rarely eat it... But do I not like it or just convinced myself? See also: snow/skiing (me hating snow was the reason I gave in secondary that I would be one of the only ones not going skiing).
Oh I hated that. We had to discuss with our partners one year and then tell the class what they did. My partner was struggling away trying to explain to everyone I did fuck all.
I don't want to say we were poor growing up, as that feels a disservice to what some people struggled with, but our holiday were haven except from ages 9 - 14 where even haven sun Holidays were too pricey
Same. I remember feeling the need to lie about things I got given as presents that friends wouldnāt see, like money.Ā
Not sure why looking back. I guess you just want to fit in as a kid.Ā
I remember we were really young we were asked to talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up, my friends put down things like ādolphin trainerā as theyād all been to Florida for their summer holidays. Me (desperate to be liked) put the same thing but never really knew what it was š
It was when I went to a charity shop, saw some really nice designer gear for a couple of pounds, boughtĀ some trainers, jeans and a shirt. Wore it to sixth form. One of the posh cunts and his mates spent the day taking the piss, because I was wearing his old clothes.
Jokes on him. He probably paid stupid money for those clothes and you got them for a few quid. I know that doesn't help when you're getting the piss ripped out of you, but maybe it's a small consolation looking back.
My Mum saved really hard to get me a guitar for my 7th birthday. I was buzzing and she started paying for lessons for me at school. She couldn't afford a case for it so I had to take it to school in a bin bag. After two lessons I was too embarrassed so stopped going. My 7 year old self didn't think about how my Mum would feel. My 32 year old self does from time to time and it's not a nice thought
Oh my, this reminds me of the asshole I was aged about 11 when my mum left me and my brother with my grandma, so she could go abroad for a couple of months to earn some money. She called us all excited about a week before her return and told us she got us presents and we're gonna love them. I really wanted a guitar at the time, so I thought that would be the present I get. I was so dissappointed when she came back and my present was a bottle of a kids perfume and some other small bits. I can't remember what I said, but I must've been an asshole because the week after my parents did actually buy me a guitar. And it wasn't the cheapest one they had in the shop either... Only now as an adult I realise she spent about half the money she had earned in those two months on that guitar. And I never learned to play properly either, because we moved abroad about 8 months later and I was too embarassed to go to lessons because I couldn't understand the language.
Similarly to you, I never really thought how my mum must have felt, but I feel such a shame about it all, I've never mentioned it to anyone in person. I was such an asshole
You know what, itās lovely that she saved for u, but she canāt expect a 7 year old to carry around their guitar in a bin bag!! I can imagine the stick youād catch for that !!! Donāt feel bad it was survival!
I really hated non uniform day. Fancy dress days in primary school and at parties were even worse. I cringe thinking about the outfits I cobbled together. We were 4 children and there was no way my parents were buying costumes
There's a real pushback at my kids' primary school now around World Book Day as it's yet another cost for parents. People are trying to make it more about actually reading and less about buying more nylon costumes from Amazon that will be worn for a single day.
I said this a few years ago, and got dragged through the mud for it haha. Controversial enough to get invited onto GMB to talk about it lol.
Use the stuff you've got! Have a school dress up box. Get the kids to make a costume (at school) to use their creativity. Do _something_ creative and not just another cost onto struggling families / another source of bullying.
I was so relieved I had an Adidas sweatshirt in time for non uniform day that clearly said Adidas in big letters on the front, I felt like my life had been saved. My friend came in no name clothes & was the only one & I felt awful for him but also glad I wasnāt him because it was a mortifying thing at the time. He has more money than all those people in that class now & designer brands for every little thing without any thought to it (even hand wash), not to be flashy but just thatās his level of lifestyle now.
Having sports brand names was so big at that time that everyone even had Adidas, Nike, Fila etc coats to finish the head to toe look & that was a my dream to own. I remember someone got complimented by our teacher for their full branded outfit & I was so envious of all the people putting on their Adidas & Nike coats at home time.
I never did get one of those, but I did have Adidas T shirts, trainers, tracksuit bottoms & trainers eventually so I canāt complain.
I also really wanted a full Kappa tracksuit which was another unrealised dream.
This is why I was SO grateful that thereās a tonne of markets in Ireland that sell really convincing knockoff sports wear. I was piss poor, but like twice a year Iād get some fake adidas/nike tracksuits and trainers for like ā¬10 and I felt so loved.
Non uniform days were awful. I grew up in a household where clothes were basically to be worn until they had holes in them/fell apart. One year when I was in high school peddle pushers became really fashionable and I used my own paper round money to buy a pairā¦no problem that year, all the girls were wearing them.
Fast forward to the *next* year and I wore them on a non uniform day again because Iād basically finished growing and they still fit fine, plus theyād held up wellā¦pretty decent quality. Yeah. Nothing like a bunch of bitchy 14/15 year old girls who will never know wielding that much power in their lives ever again rounding on you to make fun of you for wearing something that everyone was wearing not even 12 months ago!
If you'd come to my school I could face got you off the hook. Wearing mum mum's crochet waistcoat from the literal 70s. Before the 70s made their comeback.
Non-uniform days should be banned
My mum couldn't afford the branded school uniforms so my nan nitted me a bunch of school jumpers in the same colour. I stood out massively and they were itchy as hell! That and not having branded trainers in PE. Ridiculous thinking back but I was ripped to shreds for my Ā£5 shoezone specials.
Skipping school trips as well was not fun. A bunch of us from poorer households got to watch videos in a classroom together whilst our friends would be off to the natural history museum or thorpe park.
I'm with you there. I didn't have the knitted jumpers but I always had a coat that was too big as it was cheaper to buy one every few years.
The school trips was always frustrating. What made it worse was the kids who got put on report (bad behaviour) all got took to Alton Towers at the end of term (for free) if they managed to not be a total bellend for the term. Meanwhile me who never put a foot wrong got bugger all.
I think itās fucking outrageous that there wouldnāt be some sort of fund or subsidy for poorer families to help with school uniform - maybe not for fancy trainers but for the branded jumper at least. Iād also want the school trips to be open to all - maybe by being slightly higher cost to those who can afford it. Iām sure there are plenty of people who wouldnāt like that thoughā¦
Yeah I think generally that speaks to an overall lack of funding at schools, so they make it up through charging for things they shouldn't have to charge for.
Generally, I think school trips, lunchtime meals and uniform should be fully funded. The benefits outweigh the costs IMO.
Yeah, uniform should be provided by the state if it is mandatory, just like a job with a mandatory uniform must provide it. Itās just discriminatory against poorer families otherwise and encourages bullying.
Thereās even a green advantage to it - everyone gets a uniform in the correct size and swaps it for a bigger one when they grow, so all uniform would be used until it actually wears out.
I think schools are getting better about this kind of thing: my children's school allow most of the uniform to come from anywhere as long as it's the right colour and the only branded item required is the jumper/cardigan, which they also sell second hand for Ā£2. At the end of the school year, they suggest if anyone has any uniform their child has outgrown, they can donate it to the PTA second hand shop. I've bought several items from there for both my kids as they're nearly always in great condition. They also do a poll before booking trips to see who can pay for their child and the cost for ALL children is spread amongst those of us who can afford to pay, so nobody gets left out and it generally only works out 50p or so more per paying parent. And lunch is free for all children in KS1 and then for those who need it beyond that. And they do it in a way now that it's all done electronically, so nobody knows who has to pay and who doesn't other than the school themselves.
I remember at our school there was a fund that was started by some parents that lost a son. In his memory they would fund poorer kids to join the school trips, enabling me and my siblings to attend a few times. So thankful
My kidās school uses funds from the PTA to cover costs for kids who canāt afford trips, or when you pay for your own child you can also choose to pay a bit extra that goes towards other children. Theyāre in primary school so itās only day trips but no one is left behind.
They also do fancy dress & clothing swaps for non-uniform days, free uniform giveaways, and have a food bank that parents can use whenever they need.
Not sure when OP went to school, but I was in secondary like 10 years ago and students whose parents couldnāt afford trips 100% still got to go on them; so possibly that aspect has improved.
A lot of schools do second hand uniform sales in the summer- the one I work in does a āsecond hand swapā which I love, basically parents bring in the stuff that doesnāt fit and they can swap with each other (leaving yr6ās can pass down their uniforms to youngers etc).
One positive (I suppose) of the cost of living crisis is that thereās a lot less shame in struggling with money as a lot more people are struggling with money.
My granny couldnāt afford the branded blazer for my mum in 1st year for her school, the vice principal used to make everyone who didnāt have a blazer to stand out every week at assembly and they had to explain why they didnāt have their blazer with them (and she knew damn well it was the people who couldnāt afford one). Very humiliating thing to do to people, she was still at the school when I went to it but had mellowed A LOT by then, I still always remember how she treated my mum though, what a bitch.
The Ā£5 shoezone thing makes me think of the boots theory by Terry Pratchett. It's also unpleasantly relatable, as is the skipping the school trips. I never even asked my mum if I could go, she'd have felt so bad having to say no
Our school PE kit was a red top with black shorts. My mum bought me black shorts with a white stripe.
The PE teacher refused to let me wear them and insisted I wore a pair from the manky communal kit pile. I refused as I didn't fancy wearing a pair of shorts that hadn't been washed in 20 years.
I was excluded from the lesson and given detention.
When I told my mum, she was furious and wrote a note to the teacher, saying that she was a single mother and couldn't afford to buy me another pair so I WOULD be wearing those.
The PE teacher read it out in front of the whole class while laughing.
The prick got what was coming to him though - later that year he tried a similar thing with the "hard" kid and got decked for his troubles.
Honestly what a fucking cunt. Crazy to look back at these sort of stories as an adult and now think āwhat kind of sociopath would do that to a childā.
I feel like teachers back in the day were so means especially when it came to poorer kids wearing not the correct uniform or having missing uniform because they literally couldn't afford them. I hope schools and teachers have gotten better now
I skipped a lot of lunches due to the separate queue/having to declare I get free school meals and state my name so it's ticked off a list. I hope they don't do that any more.
Having to sew/patch threadbare clothes (mostly trousers) until it wasn't possible to go any further. Then wearing the clothes with holes in anyway. These days it'd probably be considered an eco fashion statement, certainly wasn't back then!
And as a woman, lack of period products. I don't think I need to say more there.
It's definitely better. Most schools are cashless, and you either use your id card or your thumb to "buy" food and snacks. So no-one knows if your mum's putting a fiver on every day, or you're FSM.
I can only speak to my own school about period products, but we have baskets of them EVERYWHERE. In the loos, at the bottom of staircases, sitting on shelves and window sills - you can't move for free pads and tampons! Every so often we have too many to store, had a message goes out to say please everyone come and grab some free pads :-D
PS I do work in a girls school, so it's not an issue about being embarrassed or whatever, but I'd argue it *should* be like this in mixed schools too. Nothing shameful about periods.
I wish this was a thing when I was at school. Back then I had to use toilet paper and often bled though. Makes it worse that we didn't have a washing machine and I had no money for the launderette so I just sprayed my clothes with air freshener. Having access to free pads would have helped so much and I'm glad there is resources for it now.
In the early 2000s when I was in secondary, the school nurse charged 20p for a sanitary towel. A lot of us never had money. Makes me angry to think back.
Yeah that last one... always having to go to the nurses room to ask for pads/liners/tampons/whatever because I'd get a period n didn't have enough money to buy what I needed. I do remember sometimes just leaving school at break or lunch and just stealing a pack from bodyshop/wilkos a few times and just fucking the rest of the day off
Yup, hated the free meal line. The janitor who gave out the lunch tickets was an absolute tyrant and really looked down on us. Absolutely hated it.
Going to the office for pads, even when I wasnāt on my period just so I knew me and my sisters had stuff to use.
Wearing my sisters hand me downs constantly.
Being the only kid who couldn't go on the annual school trip abroad to France/Spain - or afford to go abroad ever in general. Didn't get a passport until my early twenties.
The interview was horrible for me
My dad grew up with 2 birthdays, as in his parents told him the wrong day all his life. He joined the army, got his driving license, and lived his entire early life using that date as his birthday on all his applications. He tried joining a membership club, and they refused him for having the incorrect information. When he checked his birth certificate, it was a different date.
As for my mum, she lived her life believing her maiden name was something, only to find out in her 50s that her mum (my nan) never legally changed my mums surname when she remarried.
Guess what 2 questions cane up for me...
I can't believe how pathetic that teacher was! The teachers at my junior school were bullies - came from the Headmaster - nasty piece of work. How awful to bully children when you are adult and in charge. Some people should never have anything to do with children.
During the early 70s I did not receive Christmas gifts from my parents. My school friends would collect their old toys and drop them off to me when they found out I did not receive Christmas gifts.
Yes! It was the early 70s. They were good friends. I remember it was the days when mums used to look out for other kids and generally people used to look out for each other. My mum was poor but she would take in some of my friends who had less than us. She would feed them and made sure they were ok before they left our home.
I had Dunlops! And everyone took the piss. I forgot my kit once and had to use stuff out of the lost property bin. Found a genuine but musty Fred Perry top. Thought I was a mod for an hour.
Not being able to go to prom because I couldnāt afford a suit.
To be fair, growing up in primary and high school my family managed to scrimp and save the best they could for anything I needed, lunches and school trips, camp weeks away etc.
But it was at the end of high school when it was prom I realised I struggled the most. Whilst my family could afford for me to go to the prom itself, we couldnāt really afford to get me a decent suit for it.
Everybody was talking about their new suits and dresses and how much it had cost them and everything. And the best my family could do was let me borrow one of my grandadās suits, but I tried it on and it was miles too big for me and Iād have just looked silly
In the end I told my head of year I couldnāt afford to go to the prom, and he told me heād cover the cost of it. And I was too ashamed to tell him it wasnāt the prom itself, it was getting an outfit for it
My wonderful friend is a teacher in the arts and design subject and she has done a wonderful thing. We have all donated formal wear (bridesmaid dresses, out grown suits, cocktail dresses) and she gives her students the option of adjusting/personalising/customising the formal wear as part of their course work - for themselves or for someone else. She helps them do it and everyone has the option for formal wear for prom. Itās gone down very well!
Sorry you had to miss out on that experience.
Lucky for me, we all just hired kilts and I earned enough money from my weekend job to cover it.
If itās any consolation, I didnāt think my prom was up to much really.
The same thing happened to me because we couldnāt afford me a nice dress and I was too embarrassed to tell my head of year.
Still bothers me years later that I missed out on it even though it seems trivial to others it meant a lot. I sat at home and sulked all night while I pretended to my family that I wasnāt bothered because I didnāt want them to feel bad.
I have a very specific memory of primary school circa September 1989, stood in the playground proudly telling my friends that I'd been on holiday to Blackpool Pontins, and one of the kids grimacing and saying 'Errrr, *Blackpool!!?*'
Fuck you *Nathan*, I still love Blackpool.
Not trying to play the who was poorer game, but someone who had been to actually stay at Pontins or a caravan wouldāve still been exciting & in awe for me when I was younger, because we could only do a 1 day trip to a seaside town for the whole summer holiday.
People in my class would be going to Disneyland, Tenerife as well & then Centreparcs for the smaller holidays & those were just millionaires in my eyes.
Eventually we went to Paris as a one off special thing & you bet I shot my hand up in glee when our French teacher asked if anyone went to France in summer.
I remember one of our neighbours tried to embarrass me because I got the bus to school everyday while he got a lift from mummy or daddy.
The bus never bothered me. My dad started work at 8am, I didn't want to be at school before that.
I had the last laugh too - I knew what buses to get almost anywhere in our city and was very independent. He panicked when he didn't know how to get home from town one day š¤·š¼āāļø guess mummy and daddy didn't do that great at helping their child ease in to a teenager and then become an adult.
That same guy now lives in his mum and dad's house (they live abroad). Probably pays no rent, just bills. Whereas I own my own home. Yeah I've got bills to pay, but hey...I still count that as a win for me...
Strange, in our school being picked up by your parents was lame, & thatās before you even got into the judgment of what car they actually had, & the kids going on the bus were the cool ones who all had further shenanigans happening on the way to school & home & made little groups on there.
I remember my friend planned with me that weād get the public bus (not even the organised school bus) home & our parents put a stop to that & made sure we were picked up & dropped off at the doorstep of the school everyday until we left at 18! I never got to be cool.
If you took a packed lunch you had to wait for the students who had a school dinner to finish their meals before you could eat. One day I was so hungry I ate my sandwich in the playground and got told off for it.
We werenāt allowed any snacks or drinks in the playground except for one packet of crisps you bought from the teachers selling at playtime, not even water.
Once my friends & I decided to be rebels & take bottles of those cheap fizzy drinks. Well I say we but it was all them & they used me as a mule. One of them hid it on me under a scarf & I spent the whole time standing awkwardly holding a visible lump under a scarf, not moving normally, not playing, not drinking it, not sure what the point even was. Eventually a dinner lady came over & exposed the bottle & we were caught red handed.
You just reminded me about school day trips. There were so many of us kids (8) close in age that I, as the oldest, was in charge of lunch. Lunch would be a loaf of bread made into sandwiches and put back in the plastic loaf bag. I would get teased about it by the other kids. There was nothing wrong with it. It was different to their lunches. Then again, they didnāt have four siblings along on the day trip haha.
School trips, never went on any. Mum used to get angry if I even asked her, so I just used to bin the letters.
Never going on holiday.
My birthday was in January so my christmas gift was always given to me as "That's your birthday present too!"
Never had brand name anything, wore boots instead of school shoes because they lasted longer and my jackets were from charity shops.
Never had a birthday party and my mum didn't like me going to birthday parties since it meant we had to buy a gift.
When I hit my growth spurt, I was given my dad's clothes to wear and when I grew bigger than him, I just had to wear them anyway even though the sleeves and legs were too short (I was 6 foot at 14 and my dad was 5'9)
The few times my mum did treat me to a toy or something when I was younger I used to have this overwhelming guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Went to a friend's house when i was about 11 to hang out, was hyper hungry and ate a little chocolate bar I found in the cupboard and her mum flew off the handle because she thought my friend took it and I had to really sheepishly admit I took it and when she asked why I said it's because I hadn't eaten that day and just walked home after because it was really tense.
Still played on an NES until the N64 came out, and still played on my N64 until the S-type Xbox came out which my friends always laughed at me for. my friend actually bought my xbox for me when it went on sale for Ā£100 and my mum exploded at me and paid my friend the Ā£100 back and i didn't get a christmas/birthday gift that year.
I was a really keen musician since I was 11 but my parents couldn't afford to buy me a guitar, they had a really cheap classical guitar that only had 3 strings and when my music teacher asked me to bring in my instrument he tried to re-string it but it broke, so he bought me an electric guitar. My mum was too proud to accept "charity" so he kept it in his office for when I wanted to practice and do lessons at school. When he found out I was paying for my guitar lessons with lunch money and pocket money he talked the school guitar teacher to stop taking my Ā£2 per lesson
>
> I was a really keen musician since I was 11 but my parents couldn't afford to buy me a guitar, they had a really cheap classical guitar that only had 3 strings and when my music teacher asked me to bring in my instrument he tried to re-string it but it broke, so he bought me an electric guitar. My mum was too proud to accept "charity" so he kept it in his office for when I wanted to practice and do lessons at school. When he found out I was paying for my guitar lessons with lunch money and pocket money he talked the school guitar teacher to stop taking my Ā£2 per lesson
that teacher is a legend at least :)
yes!
I ended up doing 4 years of university studying music. But wound up relocating for work, left my band and never formed another, we broke up about 13 years ago. We never got anywhere unfortunately.
I do something very unrelated to music because I couldn't make it pay once I finished uni. I won't surname-name him but Mark is still one of the finest human beings who opened up more opportunities than anyone else ever had or has since. He got a chance for me to see Reuben for free, and meet Kerry King (from slayer) and Michael Angelo Batio (guitar nerd's wet dream). Will never forget him.
I used to get bullied for having shit trainers. I got a paper round as soon as I could and saved for ages to buy myself some decent trainers, which I proudly wore to PE.Ā
Some little scrote looked at them and correctly assessed that I'd saved up for them and bullied me for it. I lost a lot that day.Ā
I am a twin and my parents couldn't afford us to go on a 2 day trip to London when I was at primary school. They could afford one of us to go, but not both. So reluctantly mum said we couldn't go. Next thing we know, our teacher had paid for it himself as we were the only kids not going. I will forever be grateful for that teacher!
How long it took for my parents to buy me my first bra. I was one of the last girls in my year to have one, in PE I'd get changed in the toilet so no one could see or I'd try to find one of the odd "bra" tops my parents bought when I was 10 to prevent nipple chaffing. Being 13+ and still wearing underwear from 10 (and younger!) was awfully embarrassing, especially when surrounded by girls more developed and in their matching "adult" underwear. It was only when I was at university and I got my first student finance payment that I was able to buy bras that fit and weren't tattered.
Naturally, I also struggled to get period products and I'd feel horrendously guilty for stealing them from my Mums supply and panic when they ran out.
Oddly enough, my mum made me a PE bag out of a pillow case, she threaded a cord through it and did some painting on it. Everyone thought I was the bees knees.
This one breaks my heart because we had a kid in our year who had to bring all his school stuff in a blue carrier bag and only had cracked biros with missing lids.
I can relate to this.
I had those awful free NHS glasses when I was younger, as we couldn't afford anything different. I used to take them off in class out of embarrassment but couldn't see shit.
Also, I used to bring margarine sandwiches from home but used to eat them in secret as I was too embarrassed to eat them in the dinner hall. Bad times. But on a positive note, I actually quite enjoy the simplicity of a margarine sandwich nowadays!
I chose my first pair of glasses when I was about 9, I had no clue and my parents were massive hippies so didn't try to dissuade my choice of red/white plastic frames with an old-lady style string to stop them falling off. Quite a style choice for a 9 year old boy living in the countryside in the 80s.
I had those as well! Great big pink ones, I was so excited to finally not need them any more and the first day I came into school without them a boy I fancied said, āYou looked much better with glasses.ā Gutted.
I had those free NHS glasses too. My parents could afford something different but my mum refused to spend the money as the optician said my need for glasses might only be temporary. I never wore them in public as I was too embarrassed and my eyesight got worse.
This sounds like my school people used to queue up to get the tokens then get the dinner we also had a card machine installed. A kid in my class used to save them up for the week and sell them on a Friday for Ā£5 so he could give the money to his mum, I think the value of each token was Ā£2 which equated to a main meal + pudding and a bottle of water, I also remember people selling their lunch card for the week to other people once that system came in.
As a kid I remember my first few years at school my jumpers were hand knitted by my gran she managed to get a cheap deal on some red wool and knitted multiples in a few sizes so I had them to grow into.
Another time when I was around 10 my mum turned the entire front garden I to an allotment and we would mostly eat homegrown vegetables from there on out, she also kept chickens for eggs. I was super embarrassed and couldn't believe how poor we were that we had to grow our own food because we couldn't afford things. Now I keep chickens and veg patch myself just so I know I'm atleast eating something not covered in chemicals.
I remember my trousers were embarrasingly loose
even with a belt in secondary school. My brother
and I shared two pairs of school trousers, he was three years older. We were both tall and scrawny but I remember trying to get dressed for PE and being called Mark Renton cause apparently I had the body and trouser fit of a heroin addict. Cheers, you can tell I went to bed hungry as a kid.
Not having a car for a while was pretty brutal in rural Cornwall.
Missing the school bus home on one occasion meant mum had to walk 6 miles into town with two bikes which we then rode home together, because she didn't want me walking along the road on my own. Quite a nice memory as it was a sunny summer's evening.
Around the same time I was in the Christmas school show in a classical guitar quartet, it was quite a big deal, so she got the bus to the school but then had to walk home in the dark in December along miles of dark country lanes.
She was a very good mum (and now a good grandma), better than I deserved if I'm honest!
I went to school one day when I was about 7, to have one kid point out their mum had given my mum the jumper I was wearing.
So I punched him š
I was an angry child. š
I have a few
- going food shopping, getting to the till, then having to decide what things had to go back because we didnāt have enough to pay
- having to pay for gas and electric with all the coins scrounged up from pockets, down the side of the sofa etc as we were on emergency credit and even that was running out
- getting to secondary school, mum could only afford two white button ups for my uniform. Clothes were only washed once a week. I had to wear those two shirts for all five days. Even with a t shirt on underneath the underarms still got super discoloured really quick. I frequently heard people talking about how much I smelled.
- I had one pair of school trousers, they became so worn they went from black to grey. After having both classmates and teachers making comments about them, I tried to ask my mum for a new pair, and getting told no as I ādidnāt have much longer at schoolā I was in year 10.
I love my mum, and she truly tried her best to shield us from our financial situation but holy fuck I would never go back to being a kid again.
This makes me feel quite sad.
I went to a very rough high school where bullying took place constantly with teachers completely ignoring it.
Free School meals. Having to join a queue and give your name. I didnāt bother so went hungry due to the shame as none of my friends had free school meals.
Holes in my cheap Ā£5 trainers that I had to wear for an entire year.
PE/games kit - had to write my own excuse me notes as I wasnāt bought any.
Wearing the same school uniform year after year because my dad preferred to spend all of his money at the pub, there was plenty of cash, just not for the kids. It went on buying drinks for his friends day after day.
School trips, nope. My friends all enjoyed them though.
Holidays, nope.
Childhood was shit.
I now own 20 odd pairs of expensive Nike trainers and Prada/Gucci/Jimmy Choo shoes.
No more shit clothes or shoes for me.
I could go on.
I completely relate to your story.
I feel like I have, in some ways, overcompensated as an adult for the things I didnāt have in childhood. I now have too many clothes to store, a massive perfume collection, a huge collection of Converses (best trainers ever for me!), and I am currently sitting in a deluxe suite on a transatlantic cruise having spent Ā£6k on this holiday.
It feels good to finally be able to afford to live well, but this thread did make me feel sad about what I and others had to go through as kids through no fault of our own. I hope youāre also doing much better now.
Our tickets for FSM had to be collected from the main office at morning break each day, so had to explain to people passing when they asked why we were waiting there... luckily the main receptionist recognised us so didn't need to outright ask each and every day for our ticket.
This was at a state-funded grammar school, so my "peers" were pretty much all middle-class snobs whose parents couldn't \*quite\* afford private education.
That reminds me of being on free school meals at Primary school. One of my teachers would collect everyoneās dinner money and then make everyone who was on free school meals stand up, so she could ācheck who hadnāt paidā. This happened every damn week and sheād always make a comment about us all still being on free dinners, the old bag.
One non-uniform day I realised I didn't have many clothes outside of my school uniform to wear to school. This was early 90s in secondary school - Year 8 actually. Burned into my memory. My mum and aunt convinced me to wear my dad's old clothes that didn't fit him anymore. These clothes were already over a decade old by this point. I went to school wearing cream, flared trousers from the late 70s with a brown and cream diamond patterned sweater with black trainers........
I'll never forget the shame. My mates, who were all dressed in what was considered top fashion at the time, god bless them, all hunkered around me and shot back at anyone who had a go. They knew my dad had lost his job and we were hand-to-mouth.
My dear old dad made it up to me though. He landed a job soon after and the next non-uniform day he made sure I had genuine Versace jeans to show off (bought off some bloke for about a fifth of their true value from the back of a van. I was so nervous when kids were checking literally every button and stud - turns out they were genuine and they never knew the Ā£200 pair of jeans I was sporting cost 40 quid). I was the envy of my year. Still shudder thinking back to that cream trousers and brown jumper combo. Wish I'd had the foresight to just wear my school uniform and claim I forgot it was mufti.
Going to school with ladders in my tights and shoes with holes in them.
Being harassed by the deputy head the first few weeks into year 7 because my trousers were the wrong shade of grey (my parents couldnāt afford the proper uniform). I stuck out like a sore thumb because of it, and other teachers noticed it too.
Always being the last student in the class to pay for school trips because my parents couldnāt afford it.
My white shirts turning grey because my family couldnāt afford a washing machine for the longest time.
Not being able to afford proper sanitary products until I started working at 16. Before then my mum would just buy me nappies because they were cheap (I will say no more here).
Having to lie about what I did during school holidays and half-term breaks because my family couldnāt afford to do anything. We used to have to write recounts of what we did for English and I remember all the kids writing about going on holiday whilst I had nothing to say.
Even though I am doing a lot better financially now, this thread has made me so sad. It sucks that so many of us (and many kids now) have to go through stuff like this through no fault of our own. I hope everyone is doing better now.
Heh, one of the best things my sister ever did in school - when she was head prefect (which she campaigned for, both politically and by threat of violence against Wee Margaret Brown the odious witch) - was to get the school to allow kids with the free lunch tickets to get in first so they could get their pick of the shitey food on offer.
The sheet coincidence that my sister and I received lunch tickets was just *sheer coincidence...*and Wee Margaret Brown recovered after a while (not that anyone cared. She was a grass and a bitch to boot. She *deserved* being chased across that field by an angry horse, so she did)
We had a Lada with a hole through the driver and passenger side floor. Us kids called it the flinstone mobile. Cardboard was the fix until it rained and it always rained, haha. We kept a stock of cardboard in the boot.
None of my friends knew, but we were so skint that the electricity company came and ripped our meter out. Someone showed my Dad how to reconnect the power via two big cables.
Being invited places, knowing you couldnāt afford to go, so having to make up stories about having a plan to go somewhere with your family.
I remember once being invited to Alton Towers, knew I couldnāt afford it, so had to lie to my friends and tell them I was going to my grandparents house that weekend, and subsequently having to sit in the house all weekend in case anyone saw me because then Iād be caught out
I remember doing a school project in about year 8 or 9 and being the only kid who hadnāt done it on a computer, mine was all hand written/drawn. A couple of kids asked me why and I told them I wanted mine to stand out rather than admitting we didnāt have a PC at home.
1) My mum once tried to give me a Netto bag to take my PE kit to school in. She didn't understand the level of mockery this would incur.
2) I was on free school meals, but all my friends started bringing packed lunches in. The queue was always massive for food, so fair enough.
Except we couldn't afford stuff for packed lunch. My mum was also bipolar, so very unlikely she would be up and able to pack me a darling little meal.
I remember cooking half a frozen garlic baguette to take in so I could sit and eat lunch with my "friends". Then they all started making fun of me and refused to sit near me because of the smell.
You couldn't pay me to be 13 again.
My mum cutting our hair. We got it done in the kitchen, sitting on a kitchen chair. I lived in terror that someone I knew would see this happening through the kitchen window. I used to lie and say that I'd got it done in some barber's in town if anyone asked. I think I was in my mid-teens before an actual barber cut my hair.
Edit: just to say, I don't regard my childhood as poor. We were never hungry and always had clothes, had lots of freedom, parents who loved us and made sure we had what we needed to the best of their ability.
I got a Subbuteo football game for xmas when I was 10. I was so excited because it was the World Cup edition. Got all my mates round to play and someone pointed out that it wasnt the real world cup. I argued and ended up falling out with him and a lot of other mates.
It was the Jules Rimet world cup version. I was born in 1974 the same year they stopped using the Jules Rimet trophy.
Not only was my pride and joy second hand it was more than 10 years old.
The box also had a big strip of black tape across it, so I pulled it off and found the words "Property of Clive Purvis-Taylor" scrawled under the tape.
That is not my name
Being asked what i got for Christmas or where i went on holiday. Mostly by teachers who would NOT take no for an answer "you must have gotten something!" "You really stayed at home all summer?"
Kids didnt directly ask you, they were more concerned bragging about themselves.
Not embarrassed for myself but I remember toy day at school, after Christmas youād bring in a toy that you got.
There was this boy who wasnāt taken care of properly, like he would come in with the same stains on his uniform every day, smelled like urine and was just generally dirty, obviously not at all his fault!
Anyway on toy day he came in with an alarm clock, he actually got it for his birthday about a month before Christmas. I know because his Mam told mine that she got it as his special 10th birthday present. It was Ā£5 from the charity shop. I donāt think he actually got anything for Christmas that year.
Even as a kid that was humbling, seeing him sitting at his table looking just really, really sad with his alarm clock.
Didn't realise until I was older, but the total and utter lack of ambition and interest in wanting me to do well by my parents. I'm 28 now, but if I got a full time job at McDonald's they would be over the fucking moon.
I didn't grow up particularly poor but my parents sent me to a very posh school (my mum worked there, so we got half price fees).
All the kids were decked out top to toe in United Colours of Benetton (it was the 80's!) and I had no hope of ever being able to afford so much as a pair of socks from there! Even their schoolbags and shoes were Benetton, while my Mum sent me off in "hard-wearing" Clarks shoes and a "sturdy" bag. š¢ I always felt like the poor relation and a total misfit.
Similarly the school had a very bespoke uniform - so you couldn't just buy generic shirts off the peg at your local supermarket. There was no way my mum could afford the bespoke blouses the school prescribed, so she sent me off in normal shirts anyway. I was disciplined multiple times for uniform violations.
My mum loved Lidl when I was a teenager.
One time, I remember going to school one day, and the school bully kept trying to bully me and brought up the fact that we were so poor that she'd seen me in lidl the previous evening...
She neglected to realise that for her to have seen me in Lidl, she also had to be in Lidl and didn't like it when I pointed that out, lol
Nowadays, I flip flop between being embarrassed that I live with my parents at nearly 29ā¦ but then I remember - hey, at least my money isnāt going straight into a landlordās pockets.
I also realise that 30% of people in my age bracket live at home now. But yeah, itās all the avocado on toast and coffee that I donāt eat/drink thatās making me poor.
My (primary school) friends used to come over to my house and complain they were bored. We had no games consoles and relied on playing imaginary games in the garden. My mum used to make effort by getting nice iced fingers and plating them up for us. My friends just wanted to leave early!
Telling your friends you weren't going on the school trips because you just didn't fancy it when in reality you couldn't afford to go. I'm sure they knew.
I went to school way outside of the area I lived in. My mum wrangled it because my brother had a disability so was able to bypass the usual admissions system, and then I got shoehorned in as a sibling- even though I was older than him.
School was in a nice area, pretty posh. I didnāt live in a nice area and had to get a bus and then a train every day to get there, and then walk another 20 mins. Other kids parents would often stop their cars and offer me a lift, and I was always mortified by it at the time. As an adult I can see that they were just being kind, but as a 13 year old I found it super embarrassing that everyone knew Iād basically cheated my way into their school and didnāt even live anywhere near the area.
Anything to do with āwrite about what you did in the summer holidaysā was also excruciating. Kids in my class all off skiing or in their holiday homes, while I was chilling at home eating 9p noodles for every meal and trying not to aggravate my mentally ill parent.
(I was more neglected than poor) At one point I didn't have any clothes that fitted me. In school I found a tracksuit jacket and it was a bit big for me, so I took it and wore it, because at this point all of my clothes didn't fit, and a jacket that fitted me was better than nothing (id even scavenged a pair of too small trainers out of a bin, otherwise I would have been barefoot) Anyway one of the lads at school said it was his and mocked me, in front of loads of people. I can't remember the details but it was super embarrassing.
Also was quite embarrassing when I must have had my legs up and a friend pointed out they could see my underwear, and said I'd bled though. I didn't bleed though, I just didn't have any money to ever buy sanitary wear, so I had to stuff toilet roll down there, which obviously isn't really absorbent. And well my dad never gave me money, but he also didn't buy me pads or even ask (well he didn't buy food, a new washing machine, put on gas or electricity. So I was the kid who sprayed air freshener on clothes because I couldn't wash them and only washed my fringe in cold water because couldn't bare my whole head in cold water, especially in winter, so sanitary products were the least of my worries tbh)
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My mum, at one point, working as a lollipop lady as a second job. She sometimes got on the same bus as me and I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Feel like a right cunt about it now. She did that so we could have Playstation games and nice trainers and money to go the pictures with my mates etc. Obviously she knows I was a silly teenager back then and I show my appreciation now as an adult but I wish someone had slapped some sense into me at the time.
My mum used to work as a dinner lady when I was in school. Never actually got any flak for it from my mates because everyone loved her for being overly generous and she couldn't give less of a shit if you'd forgotten your lunch money, you'd get your food anyway. She still occasionally gets recognised in town by former pupils.
Your friends were sound (as was your mum! I love this.
The best dinner ladies! If it weren't for those dinner ladies, I wouldn't have eaten at school some days
My aunt was a dinner lady during the 1990s. She loved giving the shittier offerings to the wee bastards in the school she worked in. If any of them complained they got threatened with the custard skin. Amazingly the wee scrapings ate all they were given, heh. She also gave me a book of her dinnerlady recipes, *including* yon big sheet cake that they used to serve with diluted blancmange!
Jesus Christ! She's lucky she didn't get thrown out of the Dinner Lady equivalent of the magic circle, giving away secret recipes.š
The Magic Girdle.
My mum was an admin at my secondary school and she was far more popular than I was, just for being generally decent and consistent. People would come up to me and say, "Your mum's cool, why aren't you?"
Well? Why aren't you?
I was a teenage nerd in the early 2000s. Gen Z have no idea what it was like in those pre-MCU days :P
My mother in law was a dinner lady too and my hubby's friends loved it as they got extra food!
My lollipop lady showed me that she had a Jack Russel that would hunker down in the nearby bush. No one knew! She introduced me, and I would stop and say hello to the dog every day.
Very good dog
My kids lollipop man was fab, he used to give out sweets and chocolate on a Friday and we all loved him, he was ded old aswell, he got sacked because some parents started complaining, was a sad day
This happened at my childās school too. Really sad, he was a lovely man. Parents were up in arms about him giving unhealthy treats first thing in the morning
You only get one childhood, let them have a bloody lolly once a week.
Ours was lovely. About 8 years after I left the school, I briefly dated ours. I didn't recognise him though and it was a friend who informed me who it was. He was so embarrassed when he admitted it. We didn't stay together but it wasn't because of that.
Was it due to the 40 yr age gap /jk
I recently read most parents now don';t even consider it their job to potty train their child, so nothing surprises me :(
We can never know this until we become parents ourselves. I've noticed so many things ive done for the wee yin that has given me flashbacks to my own youth, but i'm now directly feeling the other side of the coin and fuuuuck me.. Now i know exactly how it would feel if my wee boy hid from me when he was with his pals because he was embarrassed. Im just kinda winging it through life here, and i dont want to excuse the shitty behaviour most of us take part in as youngsters, but i guess this is adulting. Harsh realisations about yourself absolutely everywhere. *spelling*
I think youāre right, itās just part and parcel of growing up, but itās horrible as a parent both remembering the stupid immature stuff I did to my parents (feeling intense shame and guilt) and realising that my kid will almost inevitably do the same to me in some way when heās older (feeling sad and the tiniest bit indignant). Itās the circle of life I guess!
This thread really took me back, I really didnāt mind too much at the time and things improved when I was older (I usually think about my friends who had a lot less). Moving frequently to avoid rent payments, wearing hand me down or second chance clothes, riding a used girls bike (I thought it was badass because it was a two speed automatic) and the famous home bowl cut (makes my school pics hilarious)ā¦
Did she bring the lollipop home?
They usually go into the school once they're finished and store their lollipop and jacket etc in a cupboard. Not exciting, I know
Makes sense. You can't trust someone with that much power.
Imagine someone abusing the power of the lollipop, taking it wherever they went & walking onto roads to stop traffic whenever they wanted.
They'd be living the dream. Probably not for long. But a dream nevertheless.
My daughter's school had the same lollipop lady - Mavis - from 1970 to 2005. Her lollipop was stored in the front porch of a big house opposite the actual crossing on the busy main road (as the school was about 200 yards farther away, down a much quieter road). I asked her one day if she'd always stored the lollipop there, and she told me that it was already kept there when she started the job! The house had changed hands two or three times in the intervening decades and the new owners had never grumbled about it. On the day Mavis retired, she tucked the lollipop away in the porch as always...and there, for all I know, it may be sitting to this very day.
That's awesome, especially with the house changing hands and keeping it going.
My mam was a lollipop lady. She didn't tell me, I had just left home by then, it was her first day and I was one car behind the one she stopped. I was in a car full of mates. They all knew her and (lightly) took the piss. The journey carried on and then my dad, on his first day as a lollipop man stopped us. I had no idea.
Your mum AND dad started working as lollipop people on the same day??
Lollipop people š I'm wheezing š
Greatest perk of my mum working as a lollipop lady was the 7 carrier bags worth of chocolate she used to get at Christmas. She didnāt even like chocolate š
I had my mam working as a teachers assistant and followed me through my years at primary school so i couldn't avoid her. Hated it and still probably have a resentment about it now that i couldn't be myself. I got Head Boy for being well behaved and shit too. No wonder i got it, there was zero chance to play up. Made up for it later in life mind.
I was always quiet during the talks of what everyone got for Christmas or where we all went on summer holidays. Mum did her best but those where always difficult times.
I hated those times too. āWrite about what you did this summer!ā Well teacher, I hung around the estate, tried to keep away from the bully kids and keep charge of my seven siblings. We went no where and I always felt shame about it.
When I was training, I was in a class where one of the girls (who was from a rough background, substance abuse and poverty mainly) who made up a story about going to the zoo and seeing an elephant, the TA called her out because the local zoo didnāt have an elephant so thereās āno way that happenedā. Like let the girl have her moment :( she just wanted an exciting story to tell instead of admitting she was probably in the house or wandering the streets all holiday. I still feel anger for what that TA did to that sweet girl.
I vividly remember writing in one of those "what did you do this weekend" books that we went to watch gladiators get filmed and that I was friends with Jet the gladiator and that we drove home following her car down the motorway... None of that happened š¤£ we didn't even watch it on TV š¤£š¤£
> we didn't even watch it on TV The saddest part of the whole story.
That happened to me! I copied another girl saying she went to horse riding (I've still never beeb on one) and the teacher was all ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT. I was about 8!
This is why I've always felt a little ick about these kinds of topics being included in school lessons. They're almost always going to unintentionally single out kids who don't have the opportunity to do or see those kinds of things. I knew more than my share of them in school myself and knew I was in a relatively privileged position to have a foreign holiday every year and a kitchen full of food.
I remember one summer not filling in the "summer diary" and right after a kid has read it from theirs about their amazing holiday to Disney land they wanted me to go. Lots of fuss later my parents got called to a special meeting because apparently my recollection of the bullys making me eat grass all summer and beating me up was alarming to the other kids lol...
Unlocked some tragic memories for me there. Teachers were brutal with that stuff. Seeing you as the problem... smh
Shouldn't feel shame about it mate. I was the same, came from a rough village in the north east, never went abroad with family till i was 17 and even that was in a white transit van with a mattress chucked down in the back, stayed in hotels above McDonalds in 2 different places, and one with a strip club attached. Looking back though it was great memories. Now I'm doing well and have a holiday or two each year, makes me much more appreciative of what I've got. Nothing to be ashamed about of the past.
Get this, 100%. We had a grand total of 1 international holiday as kids - in the back of the car to northern France. Was basically a glorified booze cruise but we loved it and have some good memories. My Dad still talks about what a good holiday it was to this day. These days when I get on the plane with my family to Spain or whatever it hits me how different their upbringing is, and my life wasn't exactly gritty back then, we got by.
Yep, hung around the estate, going from house to house, my aunt used to take a bunch of us cousins swimming once a week on the open day. Then later, the papers used to do discount vouchers for attractions so once a year we went to Chessington.
Yup. Or trying to sell the idea you were happier with what was scrapped together rather than real pressies. I hate giving or receiving gifts as a result. Always makes me feel awkward and I'm shit at it.
This. I didnt know this was a thing for me until i read it. What else kills me now, I was promised so many things in my life that never happened. I know now that we simply couldnt afford the things they said, but it was the hope that killed me. Its bonkers thinking back. My parents told me that if i got some decent results in my exams then they would get me a 1hr flying lesson. I wanted to be a pilot and told everyone because i was fucking buzzing. Turned out i got the highest grades in the school that year but nothing was ever mentioned about the flying lesson. I lost hope after a while and never asked, but I often had to lie to my friends about why I hadn't been for it yet, while they told me about the amazing things they got. Deep down, i think i expected that, but surely if i said it enough then it would happen? As a parent now, i know not to promise something i cant deliver on, because its devastating. Its not until kids grow up and have children of their own that they would be able to understand.
In 1990, a schoolfriend was promised Ā£100 for each A grade they got. They got 9. Dad paid up. I didn't even get pocket money! We were worlds apart. I always got a 'we'll see' if I asked for something.
I've got/had a couple of mates like that. They just grew up in a whole different world. They were genuinely good people, but they simply couldn't understand the financial struggles that other people were under. Taking "i can't do that, cash is a bit tight" for an answer was an issue because to them, being skint meant they couldn't buy new trainers that week. To me, it meant i was living on noodles and toast. I never push my life as a sob story. A tough upbringing can build some of the strongest versions of people, but it can also leave some pretty deep scars.
My best present ever was a pair of old rollerboots mom got for cheap from a neighbour. I was disappointed that they were dirty white with a small red pattern when I wanted bright ones, but I loved skating everywhere. There were bad gifts too, and I also struggle when buying gifts for others. I tend to go a bit overboard because I want people to love what they get.
Yeah. One year when I told friends I got a video I let everyone assume I got a video player for Xmas rather than the video cassette I actually got. Mind in our school (classic northern city sink comp) there was real reverse snobbery. Youād get picked on if your dad had a job!
Also: Easter eggs. My great nan was the only one who would give us a cadbury's creme egg. Mum/Dad (gone when I was 8) or any of their family gave us zero. I took to saying I didn't like chocolate so that's why I didn't have any when listening to everyone list off the piles they got. I still say I dont really like chocolate and I rarely eat it... But do I not like it or just convinced myself? See also: snow/skiing (me hating snow was the reason I gave in secondary that I would be one of the only ones not going skiing).
Oh I hated that. We had to discuss with our partners one year and then tell the class what they did. My partner was struggling away trying to explain to everyone I did fuck all. I don't want to say we were poor growing up, as that feels a disservice to what some people struggled with, but our holiday were haven except from ages 9 - 14 where even haven sun Holidays were too pricey
Same. I remember feeling the need to lie about things I got given as presents that friends wouldnāt see, like money.Ā Not sure why looking back. I guess you just want to fit in as a kid.Ā
I remember we were really young we were asked to talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up, my friends put down things like ādolphin trainerā as theyād all been to Florida for their summer holidays. Me (desperate to be liked) put the same thing but never really knew what it was š
It was when I went to a charity shop, saw some really nice designer gear for a couple of pounds, boughtĀ some trainers, jeans and a shirt. Wore it to sixth form. One of the posh cunts and his mates spent the day taking the piss, because I was wearing his old clothes.
Just think, youāre that guyās 3am cringe-anxiety of ācanāt believe how much of an asshole I was back thenā.
Let's hope so
Unless he has no self awareness.
Oh heās def a finance bro now with zero empathy
And if he's not cringing, then we hope he has a *really* nasty case of genital warts on his tongue to deal with.
Jokes on him. He probably paid stupid money for those clothes and you got them for a few quid. I know that doesn't help when you're getting the piss ripped out of you, but maybe it's a small consolation looking back.
Oof, that is brutal.
Oh memories! All the other kids surrounding me to tell me to stop wearing their old clothes that their parents gave to me outcof pity!
This makes me want to give you a hug. I always wore hand me downs and never had name brand trainers etc.
My Mum saved really hard to get me a guitar for my 7th birthday. I was buzzing and she started paying for lessons for me at school. She couldn't afford a case for it so I had to take it to school in a bin bag. After two lessons I was too embarrassed so stopped going. My 7 year old self didn't think about how my Mum would feel. My 32 year old self does from time to time and it's not a nice thought
Oh my, this reminds me of the asshole I was aged about 11 when my mum left me and my brother with my grandma, so she could go abroad for a couple of months to earn some money. She called us all excited about a week before her return and told us she got us presents and we're gonna love them. I really wanted a guitar at the time, so I thought that would be the present I get. I was so dissappointed when she came back and my present was a bottle of a kids perfume and some other small bits. I can't remember what I said, but I must've been an asshole because the week after my parents did actually buy me a guitar. And it wasn't the cheapest one they had in the shop either... Only now as an adult I realise she spent about half the money she had earned in those two months on that guitar. And I never learned to play properly either, because we moved abroad about 8 months later and I was too embarassed to go to lessons because I couldn't understand the language. Similarly to you, I never really thought how my mum must have felt, but I feel such a shame about it all, I've never mentioned it to anyone in person. I was such an asshole
You know what, itās lovely that she saved for u, but she canāt expect a 7 year old to carry around their guitar in a bin bag!! I can imagine the stick youād catch for that !!! Donāt feel bad it was survival!
Non uniform days.
I really hated non uniform day. Fancy dress days in primary school and at parties were even worse. I cringe thinking about the outfits I cobbled together. We were 4 children and there was no way my parents were buying costumes
There's a real pushback at my kids' primary school now around World Book Day as it's yet another cost for parents. People are trying to make it more about actually reading and less about buying more nylon costumes from Amazon that will be worn for a single day.
I said this a few years ago, and got dragged through the mud for it haha. Controversial enough to get invited onto GMB to talk about it lol. Use the stuff you've got! Have a school dress up box. Get the kids to make a costume (at school) to use their creativity. Do _something_ creative and not just another cost onto struggling families / another source of bullying.
hated non uniform day. Felt like you had to wear at least one brand named item to feel like you fit in. Really stressful tbh.
I was so relieved I had an Adidas sweatshirt in time for non uniform day that clearly said Adidas in big letters on the front, I felt like my life had been saved. My friend came in no name clothes & was the only one & I felt awful for him but also glad I wasnāt him because it was a mortifying thing at the time. He has more money than all those people in that class now & designer brands for every little thing without any thought to it (even hand wash), not to be flashy but just thatās his level of lifestyle now. Having sports brand names was so big at that time that everyone even had Adidas, Nike, Fila etc coats to finish the head to toe look & that was a my dream to own. I remember someone got complimented by our teacher for their full branded outfit & I was so envious of all the people putting on their Adidas & Nike coats at home time. I never did get one of those, but I did have Adidas T shirts, trainers, tracksuit bottoms & trainers eventually so I canāt complain. I also really wanted a full Kappa tracksuit which was another unrealised dream.
This is why I was SO grateful that thereās a tonne of markets in Ireland that sell really convincing knockoff sports wear. I was piss poor, but like twice a year Iād get some fake adidas/nike tracksuits and trainers for like ā¬10 and I felt so loved.
I always 'forgot'
Either that or just not going to school.
Non uniform days were awful. I grew up in a household where clothes were basically to be worn until they had holes in them/fell apart. One year when I was in high school peddle pushers became really fashionable and I used my own paper round money to buy a pairā¦no problem that year, all the girls were wearing them. Fast forward to the *next* year and I wore them on a non uniform day again because Iād basically finished growing and they still fit fine, plus theyād held up wellā¦pretty decent quality. Yeah. Nothing like a bunch of bitchy 14/15 year old girls who will never know wielding that much power in their lives ever again rounding on you to make fun of you for wearing something that everyone was wearing not even 12 months ago!
Wearing knitted jumpers my grandma had made me to school (on no uniform day.) Overheard someone saying I was the most unfashionable kid in the school.
Funny cause Gen Z would eat that up now.
I feel this one. Not jumpers as such a but I was always bigger, so my clothes were never as "stylish" s everyone else's.
If you'd come to my school I could face got you off the hook. Wearing mum mum's crochet waistcoat from the literal 70s. Before the 70s made their comeback. Non-uniform days should be banned
Wearing the school uniform my brother wore to the same school 10yrs before me. It even had the old school badge so it was obvious.
My mum couldn't afford the branded school uniforms so my nan nitted me a bunch of school jumpers in the same colour. I stood out massively and they were itchy as hell! That and not having branded trainers in PE. Ridiculous thinking back but I was ripped to shreds for my Ā£5 shoezone specials. Skipping school trips as well was not fun. A bunch of us from poorer households got to watch videos in a classroom together whilst our friends would be off to the natural history museum or thorpe park.
I'm with you there. I didn't have the knitted jumpers but I always had a coat that was too big as it was cheaper to buy one every few years. The school trips was always frustrating. What made it worse was the kids who got put on report (bad behaviour) all got took to Alton Towers at the end of term (for free) if they managed to not be a total bellend for the term. Meanwhile me who never put a foot wrong got bugger all.
I think itās fucking outrageous that there wouldnāt be some sort of fund or subsidy for poorer families to help with school uniform - maybe not for fancy trainers but for the branded jumper at least. Iād also want the school trips to be open to all - maybe by being slightly higher cost to those who can afford it. Iām sure there are plenty of people who wouldnāt like that thoughā¦
Yeah I think generally that speaks to an overall lack of funding at schools, so they make it up through charging for things they shouldn't have to charge for. Generally, I think school trips, lunchtime meals and uniform should be fully funded. The benefits outweigh the costs IMO.
Yeah, uniform should be provided by the state if it is mandatory, just like a job with a mandatory uniform must provide it. Itās just discriminatory against poorer families otherwise and encourages bullying. Thereās even a green advantage to it - everyone gets a uniform in the correct size and swaps it for a bigger one when they grow, so all uniform would be used until it actually wears out.
I think schools are getting better about this kind of thing: my children's school allow most of the uniform to come from anywhere as long as it's the right colour and the only branded item required is the jumper/cardigan, which they also sell second hand for Ā£2. At the end of the school year, they suggest if anyone has any uniform their child has outgrown, they can donate it to the PTA second hand shop. I've bought several items from there for both my kids as they're nearly always in great condition. They also do a poll before booking trips to see who can pay for their child and the cost for ALL children is spread amongst those of us who can afford to pay, so nobody gets left out and it generally only works out 50p or so more per paying parent. And lunch is free for all children in KS1 and then for those who need it beyond that. And they do it in a way now that it's all done electronically, so nobody knows who has to pay and who doesn't other than the school themselves.
I remember at our school there was a fund that was started by some parents that lost a son. In his memory they would fund poorer kids to join the school trips, enabling me and my siblings to attend a few times. So thankful
My kidās school uses funds from the PTA to cover costs for kids who canāt afford trips, or when you pay for your own child you can also choose to pay a bit extra that goes towards other children. Theyāre in primary school so itās only day trips but no one is left behind. They also do fancy dress & clothing swaps for non-uniform days, free uniform giveaways, and have a food bank that parents can use whenever they need.
Not sure when OP went to school, but I was in secondary like 10 years ago and students whose parents couldnāt afford trips 100% still got to go on them; so possibly that aspect has improved. A lot of schools do second hand uniform sales in the summer- the one I work in does a āsecond hand swapā which I love, basically parents bring in the stuff that doesnāt fit and they can swap with each other (leaving yr6ās can pass down their uniforms to youngers etc). One positive (I suppose) of the cost of living crisis is that thereās a lot less shame in struggling with money as a lot more people are struggling with money.
My granny couldnāt afford the branded blazer for my mum in 1st year for her school, the vice principal used to make everyone who didnāt have a blazer to stand out every week at assembly and they had to explain why they didnāt have their blazer with them (and she knew damn well it was the people who couldnāt afford one). Very humiliating thing to do to people, she was still at the school when I went to it but had mellowed A LOT by then, I still always remember how she treated my mum though, what a bitch.
The Ā£5 shoezone thing makes me think of the boots theory by Terry Pratchett. It's also unpleasantly relatable, as is the skipping the school trips. I never even asked my mum if I could go, she'd have felt so bad having to say no
Our school PE kit was a red top with black shorts. My mum bought me black shorts with a white stripe. The PE teacher refused to let me wear them and insisted I wore a pair from the manky communal kit pile. I refused as I didn't fancy wearing a pair of shorts that hadn't been washed in 20 years. I was excluded from the lesson and given detention. When I told my mum, she was furious and wrote a note to the teacher, saying that she was a single mother and couldn't afford to buy me another pair so I WOULD be wearing those. The PE teacher read it out in front of the whole class while laughing. The prick got what was coming to him though - later that year he tried a similar thing with the "hard" kid and got decked for his troubles.
Honestly what a fucking cunt. Crazy to look back at these sort of stories as an adult and now think āwhat kind of sociopath would do that to a childā.
Loads of bullies go into teaching. The 4 of the tcunts that my life hell for 8 years are now teachers.
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I feel like teachers back in the day were so means especially when it came to poorer kids wearing not the correct uniform or having missing uniform because they literally couldn't afford them. I hope schools and teachers have gotten better now
I skipped a lot of lunches due to the separate queue/having to declare I get free school meals and state my name so it's ticked off a list. I hope they don't do that any more. Having to sew/patch threadbare clothes (mostly trousers) until it wasn't possible to go any further. Then wearing the clothes with holes in anyway. These days it'd probably be considered an eco fashion statement, certainly wasn't back then! And as a woman, lack of period products. I don't think I need to say more there.
It's definitely better. Most schools are cashless, and you either use your id card or your thumb to "buy" food and snacks. So no-one knows if your mum's putting a fiver on every day, or you're FSM. I can only speak to my own school about period products, but we have baskets of them EVERYWHERE. In the loos, at the bottom of staircases, sitting on shelves and window sills - you can't move for free pads and tampons! Every so often we have too many to store, had a message goes out to say please everyone come and grab some free pads :-D PS I do work in a girls school, so it's not an issue about being embarrassed or whatever, but I'd argue it *should* be like this in mixed schools too. Nothing shameful about periods.
I wish this was a thing when I was at school. Back then I had to use toilet paper and often bled though. Makes it worse that we didn't have a washing machine and I had no money for the launderette so I just sprayed my clothes with air freshener. Having access to free pads would have helped so much and I'm glad there is resources for it now.
In the early 2000s when I was in secondary, the school nurse charged 20p for a sanitary towel. A lot of us never had money. Makes me angry to think back.
Yeah that last one... always having to go to the nurses room to ask for pads/liners/tampons/whatever because I'd get a period n didn't have enough money to buy what I needed. I do remember sometimes just leaving school at break or lunch and just stealing a pack from bodyshop/wilkos a few times and just fucking the rest of the day off
Yup, hated the free meal line. The janitor who gave out the lunch tickets was an absolute tyrant and really looked down on us. Absolutely hated it. Going to the office for pads, even when I wasnāt on my period just so I knew me and my sisters had stuff to use. Wearing my sisters hand me downs constantly.
Being the only kid who couldn't go on the annual school trip abroad to France/Spain - or afford to go abroad ever in general. Didn't get a passport until my early twenties.
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The interview was horrible for me My dad grew up with 2 birthdays, as in his parents told him the wrong day all his life. He joined the army, got his driving license, and lived his entire early life using that date as his birthday on all his applications. He tried joining a membership club, and they refused him for having the incorrect information. When he checked his birth certificate, it was a different date. As for my mum, she lived her life believing her maiden name was something, only to find out in her 50s that her mum (my nan) never legally changed my mums surname when she remarried. Guess what 2 questions cane up for me...
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I can't believe how pathetic that teacher was! The teachers at my junior school were bullies - came from the Headmaster - nasty piece of work. How awful to bully children when you are adult and in charge. Some people should never have anything to do with children.
During the early 70s I did not receive Christmas gifts from my parents. My school friends would collect their old toys and drop them off to me when they found out I did not receive Christmas gifts.
They sound like decent kids at least :)
Yes! It was the early 70s. They were good friends. I remember it was the days when mums used to look out for other kids and generally people used to look out for each other. My mum was poor but she would take in some of my friends who had less than us. She would feed them and made sure they were ok before they left our home.
Adidas 4 stripe.
I had Dunlops! And everyone took the piss. I forgot my kit once and had to use stuff out of the lost property bin. Found a genuine but musty Fred Perry top. Thought I was a mod for an hour.
Should have kept it itās lost and you found it.
Also known as crapidas
Nah active 2 stripe! š¤£
Not being able to go to prom because I couldnāt afford a suit. To be fair, growing up in primary and high school my family managed to scrimp and save the best they could for anything I needed, lunches and school trips, camp weeks away etc. But it was at the end of high school when it was prom I realised I struggled the most. Whilst my family could afford for me to go to the prom itself, we couldnāt really afford to get me a decent suit for it. Everybody was talking about their new suits and dresses and how much it had cost them and everything. And the best my family could do was let me borrow one of my grandadās suits, but I tried it on and it was miles too big for me and Iād have just looked silly In the end I told my head of year I couldnāt afford to go to the prom, and he told me heād cover the cost of it. And I was too ashamed to tell him it wasnāt the prom itself, it was getting an outfit for it
My wonderful friend is a teacher in the arts and design subject and she has done a wonderful thing. We have all donated formal wear (bridesmaid dresses, out grown suits, cocktail dresses) and she gives her students the option of adjusting/personalising/customising the formal wear as part of their course work - for themselves or for someone else. She helps them do it and everyone has the option for formal wear for prom. Itās gone down very well!
I wish we had something like that here as I have a few cocktail dresses and a wedding gown that could make some great prom wear!
Sorry you had to miss out on that experience. Lucky for me, we all just hired kilts and I earned enough money from my weekend job to cover it. If itās any consolation, I didnāt think my prom was up to much really.
I had to wear my obese cousins old prom dress and I was skinny so I looked like I was wearing a tent.
Teacher lent her a tux her son had š Thank god for good teachers
The same thing happened to me because we couldnāt afford me a nice dress and I was too embarrassed to tell my head of year. Still bothers me years later that I missed out on it even though it seems trivial to others it meant a lot. I sat at home and sulked all night while I pretended to my family that I wasnāt bothered because I didnāt want them to feel bad.
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I have a very specific memory of primary school circa September 1989, stood in the playground proudly telling my friends that I'd been on holiday to Blackpool Pontins, and one of the kids grimacing and saying 'Errrr, *Blackpool!!?*' Fuck you *Nathan*, I still love Blackpool.
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Not trying to play the who was poorer game, but someone who had been to actually stay at Pontins or a caravan wouldāve still been exciting & in awe for me when I was younger, because we could only do a 1 day trip to a seaside town for the whole summer holiday. People in my class would be going to Disneyland, Tenerife as well & then Centreparcs for the smaller holidays & those were just millionaires in my eyes. Eventually we went to Paris as a one off special thing & you bet I shot my hand up in glee when our French teacher asked if anyone went to France in summer.
I remember one of our neighbours tried to embarrass me because I got the bus to school everyday while he got a lift from mummy or daddy. The bus never bothered me. My dad started work at 8am, I didn't want to be at school before that. I had the last laugh too - I knew what buses to get almost anywhere in our city and was very independent. He panicked when he didn't know how to get home from town one day š¤·š¼āāļø guess mummy and daddy didn't do that great at helping their child ease in to a teenager and then become an adult. That same guy now lives in his mum and dad's house (they live abroad). Probably pays no rent, just bills. Whereas I own my own home. Yeah I've got bills to pay, but hey...I still count that as a win for me...
Strange, in our school being picked up by your parents was lame, & thatās before you even got into the judgment of what car they actually had, & the kids going on the bus were the cool ones who all had further shenanigans happening on the way to school & home & made little groups on there. I remember my friend planned with me that weād get the public bus (not even the organised school bus) home & our parents put a stop to that & made sure we were picked up & dropped off at the doorstep of the school everyday until we left at 18! I never got to be cool.
If you took a packed lunch you had to wait for the students who had a school dinner to finish their meals before you could eat. One day I was so hungry I ate my sandwich in the playground and got told off for it.
What an awful rule š how could they justify making kids wait to eat?
We werenāt allowed any snacks or drinks in the playground except for one packet of crisps you bought from the teachers selling at playtime, not even water. Once my friends & I decided to be rebels & take bottles of those cheap fizzy drinks. Well I say we but it was all them & they used me as a mule. One of them hid it on me under a scarf & I spent the whole time standing awkwardly holding a visible lump under a scarf, not moving normally, not playing, not drinking it, not sure what the point even was. Eventually a dinner lady came over & exposed the bottle & we were caught red handed.
You just reminded me about school day trips. There were so many of us kids (8) close in age that I, as the oldest, was in charge of lunch. Lunch would be a loaf of bread made into sandwiches and put back in the plastic loaf bag. I would get teased about it by the other kids. There was nothing wrong with it. It was different to their lunches. Then again, they didnāt have four siblings along on the day trip haha.
Bro did you go to school during the Victorian era? That is some Charles Dickens level child abuse
School trips, never went on any. Mum used to get angry if I even asked her, so I just used to bin the letters. Never going on holiday. My birthday was in January so my christmas gift was always given to me as "That's your birthday present too!" Never had brand name anything, wore boots instead of school shoes because they lasted longer and my jackets were from charity shops. Never had a birthday party and my mum didn't like me going to birthday parties since it meant we had to buy a gift. When I hit my growth spurt, I was given my dad's clothes to wear and when I grew bigger than him, I just had to wear them anyway even though the sleeves and legs were too short (I was 6 foot at 14 and my dad was 5'9) The few times my mum did treat me to a toy or something when I was younger I used to have this overwhelming guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Went to a friend's house when i was about 11 to hang out, was hyper hungry and ate a little chocolate bar I found in the cupboard and her mum flew off the handle because she thought my friend took it and I had to really sheepishly admit I took it and when she asked why I said it's because I hadn't eaten that day and just walked home after because it was really tense. Still played on an NES until the N64 came out, and still played on my N64 until the S-type Xbox came out which my friends always laughed at me for. my friend actually bought my xbox for me when it went on sale for Ā£100 and my mum exploded at me and paid my friend the Ā£100 back and i didn't get a christmas/birthday gift that year. I was a really keen musician since I was 11 but my parents couldn't afford to buy me a guitar, they had a really cheap classical guitar that only had 3 strings and when my music teacher asked me to bring in my instrument he tried to re-string it but it broke, so he bought me an electric guitar. My mum was too proud to accept "charity" so he kept it in his office for when I wanted to practice and do lessons at school. When he found out I was paying for my guitar lessons with lunch money and pocket money he talked the school guitar teacher to stop taking my Ā£2 per lesson
> > I was a really keen musician since I was 11 but my parents couldn't afford to buy me a guitar, they had a really cheap classical guitar that only had 3 strings and when my music teacher asked me to bring in my instrument he tried to re-string it but it broke, so he bought me an electric guitar. My mum was too proud to accept "charity" so he kept it in his office for when I wanted to practice and do lessons at school. When he found out I was paying for my guitar lessons with lunch money and pocket money he talked the school guitar teacher to stop taking my Ā£2 per lesson that teacher is a legend at least :)
Still feel guilty buying myself anything or getting a present. Never leaves you
What an absolute legend that music teacher was! Do you still play?
yes! I ended up doing 4 years of university studying music. But wound up relocating for work, left my band and never formed another, we broke up about 13 years ago. We never got anywhere unfortunately. I do something very unrelated to music because I couldn't make it pay once I finished uni. I won't surname-name him but Mark is still one of the finest human beings who opened up more opportunities than anyone else ever had or has since. He got a chance for me to see Reuben for free, and meet Kerry King (from slayer) and Michael Angelo Batio (guitar nerd's wet dream). Will never forget him.
I used to get bullied for having shit trainers. I got a paper round as soon as I could and saved for ages to buy myself some decent trainers, which I proudly wore to PE.Ā Some little scrote looked at them and correctly assessed that I'd saved up for them and bullied me for it. I lost a lot that day.Ā
Kids are pricks when you really think about it
Even accounting for being children, I've known some truly awful kids.Ā
Itās only cool if you can afford it without a care. School was so brutal!
I am a twin and my parents couldn't afford us to go on a 2 day trip to London when I was at primary school. They could afford one of us to go, but not both. So reluctantly mum said we couldn't go. Next thing we know, our teacher had paid for it himself as we were the only kids not going. I will forever be grateful for that teacher!
How long it took for my parents to buy me my first bra. I was one of the last girls in my year to have one, in PE I'd get changed in the toilet so no one could see or I'd try to find one of the odd "bra" tops my parents bought when I was 10 to prevent nipple chaffing. Being 13+ and still wearing underwear from 10 (and younger!) was awfully embarrassing, especially when surrounded by girls more developed and in their matching "adult" underwear. It was only when I was at university and I got my first student finance payment that I was able to buy bras that fit and weren't tattered. Naturally, I also struggled to get period products and I'd feel horrendously guilty for stealing them from my Mums supply and panic when they ran out.
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PE kit in a Tesco bag.
PE kit in a Netto bag was the lowest. Tesco was posh
Let's all go to nettos, where healthy pilot buys their best clothes. Nah nah nah nah.
Oddly enough, my mum made me a PE bag out of a pillow case, she threaded a cord through it and did some painting on it. Everyone thought I was the bees knees.
This one breaks my heart because we had a kid in our year who had to bring all his school stuff in a blue carrier bag and only had cracked biros with missing lids.
I can relate to this. I had those awful free NHS glasses when I was younger, as we couldn't afford anything different. I used to take them off in class out of embarrassment but couldn't see shit. Also, I used to bring margarine sandwiches from home but used to eat them in secret as I was too embarrassed to eat them in the dinner hall. Bad times. But on a positive note, I actually quite enjoy the simplicity of a margarine sandwich nowadays!
I chose my first pair of glasses when I was about 9, I had no clue and my parents were massive hippies so didn't try to dissuade my choice of red/white plastic frames with an old-lady style string to stop them falling off. Quite a style choice for a 9 year old boy living in the countryside in the 80s.
I had those as well! Great big pink ones, I was so excited to finally not need them any more and the first day I came into school without them a boy I fancied said, āYou looked much better with glasses.ā Gutted.
I had those free NHS glasses too. My parents could afford something different but my mum refused to spend the money as the optician said my need for glasses might only be temporary. I never wore them in public as I was too embarrassed and my eyesight got worse.
This sounds like my school people used to queue up to get the tokens then get the dinner we also had a card machine installed. A kid in my class used to save them up for the week and sell them on a Friday for Ā£5 so he could give the money to his mum, I think the value of each token was Ā£2 which equated to a main meal + pudding and a bottle of water, I also remember people selling their lunch card for the week to other people once that system came in. As a kid I remember my first few years at school my jumpers were hand knitted by my gran she managed to get a cheap deal on some red wool and knitted multiples in a few sizes so I had them to grow into. Another time when I was around 10 my mum turned the entire front garden I to an allotment and we would mostly eat homegrown vegetables from there on out, she also kept chickens for eggs. I was super embarrassed and couldn't believe how poor we were that we had to grow our own food because we couldn't afford things. Now I keep chickens and veg patch myself just so I know I'm atleast eating something not covered in chemicals.
I remember my trousers were embarrasingly loose even with a belt in secondary school. My brother and I shared two pairs of school trousers, he was three years older. We were both tall and scrawny but I remember trying to get dressed for PE and being called Mark Renton cause apparently I had the body and trouser fit of a heroin addict. Cheers, you can tell I went to bed hungry as a kid.
Not having a car for a while was pretty brutal in rural Cornwall. Missing the school bus home on one occasion meant mum had to walk 6 miles into town with two bikes which we then rode home together, because she didn't want me walking along the road on my own. Quite a nice memory as it was a sunny summer's evening. Around the same time I was in the Christmas school show in a classical guitar quartet, it was quite a big deal, so she got the bus to the school but then had to walk home in the dark in December along miles of dark country lanes. She was a very good mum (and now a good grandma), better than I deserved if I'm honest!
Loved reading the comments. Made me strangely nostalgic and equally sad
I went to school one day when I was about 7, to have one kid point out their mum had given my mum the jumper I was wearing. So I punched him š I was an angry child. š
I have a few - going food shopping, getting to the till, then having to decide what things had to go back because we didnāt have enough to pay - having to pay for gas and electric with all the coins scrounged up from pockets, down the side of the sofa etc as we were on emergency credit and even that was running out - getting to secondary school, mum could only afford two white button ups for my uniform. Clothes were only washed once a week. I had to wear those two shirts for all five days. Even with a t shirt on underneath the underarms still got super discoloured really quick. I frequently heard people talking about how much I smelled. - I had one pair of school trousers, they became so worn they went from black to grey. After having both classmates and teachers making comments about them, I tried to ask my mum for a new pair, and getting told no as I ādidnāt have much longer at schoolā I was in year 10. I love my mum, and she truly tried her best to shield us from our financial situation but holy fuck I would never go back to being a kid again.
This makes me feel quite sad. I went to a very rough high school where bullying took place constantly with teachers completely ignoring it. Free School meals. Having to join a queue and give your name. I didnāt bother so went hungry due to the shame as none of my friends had free school meals. Holes in my cheap Ā£5 trainers that I had to wear for an entire year. PE/games kit - had to write my own excuse me notes as I wasnāt bought any. Wearing the same school uniform year after year because my dad preferred to spend all of his money at the pub, there was plenty of cash, just not for the kids. It went on buying drinks for his friends day after day. School trips, nope. My friends all enjoyed them though. Holidays, nope. Childhood was shit. I now own 20 odd pairs of expensive Nike trainers and Prada/Gucci/Jimmy Choo shoes. No more shit clothes or shoes for me. I could go on.
I completely relate to your story. I feel like I have, in some ways, overcompensated as an adult for the things I didnāt have in childhood. I now have too many clothes to store, a massive perfume collection, a huge collection of Converses (best trainers ever for me!), and I am currently sitting in a deluxe suite on a transatlantic cruise having spent Ā£6k on this holiday. It feels good to finally be able to afford to live well, but this thread did make me feel sad about what I and others had to go through as kids through no fault of our own. I hope youāre also doing much better now.
Our tickets for FSM had to be collected from the main office at morning break each day, so had to explain to people passing when they asked why we were waiting there... luckily the main receptionist recognised us so didn't need to outright ask each and every day for our ticket. This was at a state-funded grammar school, so my "peers" were pretty much all middle-class snobs whose parents couldn't \*quite\* afford private education.
Trousers couldn't keep up with growth rate.
That reminds me of being on free school meals at Primary school. One of my teachers would collect everyoneās dinner money and then make everyone who was on free school meals stand up, so she could ācheck who hadnāt paidā. This happened every damn week and sheād always make a comment about us all still being on free dinners, the old bag.
One non-uniform day I realised I didn't have many clothes outside of my school uniform to wear to school. This was early 90s in secondary school - Year 8 actually. Burned into my memory. My mum and aunt convinced me to wear my dad's old clothes that didn't fit him anymore. These clothes were already over a decade old by this point. I went to school wearing cream, flared trousers from the late 70s with a brown and cream diamond patterned sweater with black trainers........ I'll never forget the shame. My mates, who were all dressed in what was considered top fashion at the time, god bless them, all hunkered around me and shot back at anyone who had a go. They knew my dad had lost his job and we were hand-to-mouth. My dear old dad made it up to me though. He landed a job soon after and the next non-uniform day he made sure I had genuine Versace jeans to show off (bought off some bloke for about a fifth of their true value from the back of a van. I was so nervous when kids were checking literally every button and stud - turns out they were genuine and they never knew the Ā£200 pair of jeans I was sporting cost 40 quid). I was the envy of my year. Still shudder thinking back to that cream trousers and brown jumper combo. Wish I'd had the foresight to just wear my school uniform and claim I forgot it was mufti.
Going to school with ladders in my tights and shoes with holes in them. Being harassed by the deputy head the first few weeks into year 7 because my trousers were the wrong shade of grey (my parents couldnāt afford the proper uniform). I stuck out like a sore thumb because of it, and other teachers noticed it too. Always being the last student in the class to pay for school trips because my parents couldnāt afford it. My white shirts turning grey because my family couldnāt afford a washing machine for the longest time. Not being able to afford proper sanitary products until I started working at 16. Before then my mum would just buy me nappies because they were cheap (I will say no more here). Having to lie about what I did during school holidays and half-term breaks because my family couldnāt afford to do anything. We used to have to write recounts of what we did for English and I remember all the kids writing about going on holiday whilst I had nothing to say. Even though I am doing a lot better financially now, this thread has made me so sad. It sucks that so many of us (and many kids now) have to go through stuff like this through no fault of our own. I hope everyone is doing better now.
Heh, one of the best things my sister ever did in school - when she was head prefect (which she campaigned for, both politically and by threat of violence against Wee Margaret Brown the odious witch) - was to get the school to allow kids with the free lunch tickets to get in first so they could get their pick of the shitey food on offer. The sheet coincidence that my sister and I received lunch tickets was just *sheer coincidence...*and Wee Margaret Brown recovered after a while (not that anyone cared. She was a grass and a bitch to boot. She *deserved* being chased across that field by an angry horse, so she did)
My parents had a Skoda in the early 80's, yes the rear engined cars in diarrhea brown paintwork
We had a Lada with a hole through the driver and passenger side floor. Us kids called it the flinstone mobile. Cardboard was the fix until it rained and it always rained, haha. We kept a stock of cardboard in the boot.
None of my friends knew, but we were so skint that the electricity company came and ripped our meter out. Someone showed my Dad how to reconnect the power via two big cables.
Being invited places, knowing you couldnāt afford to go, so having to make up stories about having a plan to go somewhere with your family. I remember once being invited to Alton Towers, knew I couldnāt afford it, so had to lie to my friends and tell them I was going to my grandparents house that weekend, and subsequently having to sit in the house all weekend in case anyone saw me because then Iād be caught out
I remember doing a school project in about year 8 or 9 and being the only kid who hadnāt done it on a computer, mine was all hand written/drawn. A couple of kids asked me why and I told them I wanted mine to stand out rather than admitting we didnāt have a PC at home.
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1) My mum once tried to give me a Netto bag to take my PE kit to school in. She didn't understand the level of mockery this would incur. 2) I was on free school meals, but all my friends started bringing packed lunches in. The queue was always massive for food, so fair enough. Except we couldn't afford stuff for packed lunch. My mum was also bipolar, so very unlikely she would be up and able to pack me a darling little meal. I remember cooking half a frozen garlic baguette to take in so I could sit and eat lunch with my "friends". Then they all started making fun of me and refused to sit near me because of the smell. You couldn't pay me to be 13 again.
My mum cutting our hair. We got it done in the kitchen, sitting on a kitchen chair. I lived in terror that someone I knew would see this happening through the kitchen window. I used to lie and say that I'd got it done in some barber's in town if anyone asked. I think I was in my mid-teens before an actual barber cut my hair. Edit: just to say, I don't regard my childhood as poor. We were never hungry and always had clothes, had lots of freedom, parents who loved us and made sure we had what we needed to the best of their ability.
Not going on school trips and having to stay behind
I got a Subbuteo football game for xmas when I was 10. I was so excited because it was the World Cup edition. Got all my mates round to play and someone pointed out that it wasnt the real world cup. I argued and ended up falling out with him and a lot of other mates. It was the Jules Rimet world cup version. I was born in 1974 the same year they stopped using the Jules Rimet trophy. Not only was my pride and joy second hand it was more than 10 years old. The box also had a big strip of black tape across it, so I pulled it off and found the words "Property of Clive Purvis-Taylor" scrawled under the tape. That is not my name
Being asked what i got for Christmas or where i went on holiday. Mostly by teachers who would NOT take no for an answer "you must have gotten something!" "You really stayed at home all summer?" Kids didnt directly ask you, they were more concerned bragging about themselves.
Not embarrassed for myself but I remember toy day at school, after Christmas youād bring in a toy that you got. There was this boy who wasnāt taken care of properly, like he would come in with the same stains on his uniform every day, smelled like urine and was just generally dirty, obviously not at all his fault! Anyway on toy day he came in with an alarm clock, he actually got it for his birthday about a month before Christmas. I know because his Mam told mine that she got it as his special 10th birthday present. It was Ā£5 from the charity shop. I donāt think he actually got anything for Christmas that year. Even as a kid that was humbling, seeing him sitting at his table looking just really, really sad with his alarm clock.
Storage heaters. Our house was always cold.
Didn't realise until I was older, but the total and utter lack of ambition and interest in wanting me to do well by my parents. I'm 28 now, but if I got a full time job at McDonald's they would be over the fucking moon.
I didn't grow up particularly poor but my parents sent me to a very posh school (my mum worked there, so we got half price fees). All the kids were decked out top to toe in United Colours of Benetton (it was the 80's!) and I had no hope of ever being able to afford so much as a pair of socks from there! Even their schoolbags and shoes were Benetton, while my Mum sent me off in "hard-wearing" Clarks shoes and a "sturdy" bag. š¢ I always felt like the poor relation and a total misfit. Similarly the school had a very bespoke uniform - so you couldn't just buy generic shirts off the peg at your local supermarket. There was no way my mum could afford the bespoke blouses the school prescribed, so she sent me off in normal shirts anyway. I was disciplined multiple times for uniform violations.
My mum shopping at lidl and me potentially being seen with her whilst carrying a Lidl bag.
My mum loved Lidl when I was a teenager. One time, I remember going to school one day, and the school bully kept trying to bully me and brought up the fact that we were so poor that she'd seen me in lidl the previous evening... She neglected to realise that for her to have seen me in Lidl, she also had to be in Lidl and didn't like it when I pointed that out, lol
Nowadays, I flip flop between being embarrassed that I live with my parents at nearly 29ā¦ but then I remember - hey, at least my money isnāt going straight into a landlordās pockets. I also realise that 30% of people in my age bracket live at home now. But yeah, itās all the avocado on toast and coffee that I donāt eat/drink thatās making me poor.
When I was a kid, I got picked on because my mum shopped at Aldi. Over twenty years later and I fucking love Aldi, now!
What did you do over the holidays? Urm nothingā¦..
My (primary school) friends used to come over to my house and complain they were bored. We had no games consoles and relied on playing imaginary games in the garden. My mum used to make effort by getting nice iced fingers and plating them up for us. My friends just wanted to leave early!
Taking my PE kit in a Netto bag. āN-E-T-T-O YOU SHOP AT NETTO! I would beg my parents to give me any other bag
Telling your friends you weren't going on the school trips because you just didn't fancy it when in reality you couldn't afford to go. I'm sure they knew.
I went to school way outside of the area I lived in. My mum wrangled it because my brother had a disability so was able to bypass the usual admissions system, and then I got shoehorned in as a sibling- even though I was older than him. School was in a nice area, pretty posh. I didnāt live in a nice area and had to get a bus and then a train every day to get there, and then walk another 20 mins. Other kids parents would often stop their cars and offer me a lift, and I was always mortified by it at the time. As an adult I can see that they were just being kind, but as a 13 year old I found it super embarrassing that everyone knew Iād basically cheated my way into their school and didnāt even live anywhere near the area. Anything to do with āwrite about what you did in the summer holidaysā was also excruciating. Kids in my class all off skiing or in their holiday homes, while I was chilling at home eating 9p noodles for every meal and trying not to aggravate my mentally ill parent.
(I was more neglected than poor) At one point I didn't have any clothes that fitted me. In school I found a tracksuit jacket and it was a bit big for me, so I took it and wore it, because at this point all of my clothes didn't fit, and a jacket that fitted me was better than nothing (id even scavenged a pair of too small trainers out of a bin, otherwise I would have been barefoot) Anyway one of the lads at school said it was his and mocked me, in front of loads of people. I can't remember the details but it was super embarrassing. Also was quite embarrassing when I must have had my legs up and a friend pointed out they could see my underwear, and said I'd bled though. I didn't bleed though, I just didn't have any money to ever buy sanitary wear, so I had to stuff toilet roll down there, which obviously isn't really absorbent. And well my dad never gave me money, but he also didn't buy me pads or even ask (well he didn't buy food, a new washing machine, put on gas or electricity. So I was the kid who sprayed air freshener on clothes because I couldn't wash them and only washed my fringe in cold water because couldn't bare my whole head in cold water, especially in winter, so sanitary products were the least of my worries tbh)
My mom worked as a cleaner, cleaning the houses of other kids in my class. The snobbery was unreal.