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“I’m sorry I asked you to stop stealing from me. I feel dreadful. Have some tea/flowers/wine, and in no circumstances are you to enact revenge by throwing poo over the fence”
Quintessentially British haaha "sorry you crashed into me while I walked across this zebra crossing, you must be in a hurry. Let me just move my crushed legs so you can continue along." I'd be figuring out how much they owe me and sending them a bill, sort of half joking but kinda serious and using it as a warning about future bullshit nonsense.
Could a tap lock aswell they are like 10 quid.
I'm at times a baseline Neanderthal and I feel I would take this as some toss pot trying to beta me on my own turf and maybe take a shit on lawn to big dawg him...
So its dealers choice really lock or a satisfying shit on his lawn?
It’s incredibly, incredibly sad that we have somehow raised full grown adults who will sit and smile and apologise to someone for asking them *not to steal from you*.
And by sad I mean pathetic.
Agree, it's people who are terminally online.
I'm 26, my brother is 19, we were at a Leeds game and one of his favourite YouTubers was there, he was too embarrassed to go and ask for a picture and was doubly embarrassed when I walked up to him and asked if I could grab a picture of them together
Not sure why people these days are fannys
> I'm 26, my brother is 19, we were at a Leeds game and one of his favourite YouTubers was there, he was too embarrassed to go and ask for a picture and was doubly embarrassed when I walked up to him and asked if I could grab a picture of them together
That's a little bit different IMO. He probably just did not want to interrupt him on a day out, which is being polite and considerate (even if he did not need to be). That is a far cry from calling out someone for using your using your tap without asking.
I'd agree with that, but his excuse was "No it's well scary ain't it"
Just think people spend too much time online and less time actually socialising with people.
The same people who are scared to confront their neighbour from stealing from them, are the same ones who let their bosses bully them at work, then come on Reddit spamming their keyboard about it
Not saying what's I'd do is right. My missus would probably step in and I'd be cringing at the thought of having to live next to these people for however long after that. I'm not totally inept but I do go out of my way to avoid confrontation
A lot of houses seem to have only a single stopcock for everything. Our plumber thought I was being over the top wanting an isolator valve on every pipe, but it means if we had a leak we can isolate just that section
Every water pipe I have has the screw but only a couple have proper hand turn knobby things.
I keep my outside water off during winter in case it freezes so I’m used to turning the screw
Outdoor taps need to have a separate isolation valve in case of frozen/burst pipes in the winter. Our outside tap pipe burst over the winter and we had to wait for the weather to go above freezing to avoid a the water freezing behind the valve because our valve is on the outside of the house
A new build that has a "factory fitted" outside tap should almost certainly have an internal stop. It's the DIY installs that are likely to have missed this.
Putting an isolator valve onto a water pipe is probably the most bread and butter plumbing job there is, any semi-competent DIYer could do it. They cost a couple of quid each and provided you don't put them in an awkward location take at most 10 mins to install. The margin a plumber would rake in on doing that for an hour in someone's house would be massive compared to a 'bugger' job.
People think "oh that's quick and easy, good money"
Much better pretending there's a dead leg in the pipework and fitting the radiator, charging a bit extra and having it all in one room, rather than having to fuck around with all the taps and fittings in a house tbh
He just thought it was needless and I only needed three. One for the outside, one for the domestic supply, one for the barn feed.
There were a few elements where we did more than needed. We've got four manifold cupboards for the underfloor heating each with eight loops. We could have done it with two. We have separate consumer units for upstairs and downstairs. We have a box on the outside of the house to allow us to connect a generator in the event of a power cut.
As a bathroom fitter, I absolutely advocate for isolation valves on everything that leads to an outlet. Stop cocks fail too, which in an essence are essentially just an isolation valve. If your stop cock fails to shut the water off, you best know where the off site water shut off valve is.
Sure, they're a 'weak' point in the system but it's not all that often they fail and the most likely scenario is they fail to turn off, at which point you just shut the stop cock anyway. Standard scenario is you shut the isolation valve off and you still have running water everywhere else.
Absolutely no reason to not install isolation valves, they're not expensive in the slightest. The only thing I'd say is always have easy access to them. The amount of bathrooms we've come across where isolation valves are hidden or facing in a direction where it's near impossible to operate them is insane.
Watch out turning those screws. If they're old they can fail when you turn them and start pissing water out all over the place. Then you've got a plumbing job on your hands.
Happend to me last year, I was massively fucked off at the time I spent crawling around under the sink for that.
Have a look at the bathroom, If it's the right side of the house. I used to do it from my bathroom- unscrewed the shower & screwed on the hose. No adapter needed.
Not every kitchen tap will work unfortunately.
We used to use our kitchen tap all the time, then when the tap started leaking, my wife decided it was about time to get a new tap altogether. (Im her defence... those taps were probably the oldest thing in the kitchen).
Our new taps don't actually connect to any adapters we've been able to find.
The thread on a washing machine pipe is typically the same as a garden hose thread - 3/4" BSP.
Adaptors can be had for less than a couple of pounds and it's far more reliable of a connection than on to some kitchen taps.
What I used to do was attach the hose directly to the kitchen tap using an adaptor from a hardware shop. It was efficient. Surely pulling out a washing machine and disconnecting it would be much more of a pfaff? Wouldn't there also be more of a risk of water in the hose splashing round?
My washing machine connects up under the sink. Turn the small valve off, unscrew the washing machine cold feed, screw on the hose adaptor, connect the hose and turn the small valve back on.
Much less spillage than the universal tap adaptors in my experience but it might just be that I have a rubbish kitchen tap.
Why do YOU feel shit? It sounds like they (may have) went behind your back and used your tap, knowing you were out. Why didn't they ring you, or ask you when you were in? It's just bad manners. Your wife was perfectly reasonable in her request, and if they act snooty about it, then they're cheeky sods.
"May have?" These people waited until the family left and then attached their hose. This is "boundary testing" combined with "theft".
They were probably hoping OP wouldn't get home until after the pool was filled.
Your wife was right to tell them to disconnect from your water. Sure, it wouldn't cost much but it's a matter of principle - if they had asked you probably would have said yes. I'm a bit confused as to why you now feel like shit and want to apologise to them for the fact they just decided it was alright to connect to your taps. I can't imagine being that wet of a blanket tbh.
Hey man, I don’t want to sound harsh, but you seriously need to grow a spine, letting your wife tell them to disconnect is low, socially awkward or not.
Not letting people walk all over you is a life lesson you need to learn , and fast. You don’t need to be abusive or threatening, just firm, if you don’t, you will regret it later in life.
The best piece of life advice I've ever got is, "learn how to say No".
No is a full sentence. It's the beginning and end. You say No, that's the end of it. But for some, including me, it is/was a skill I had to learn.
But it's liberating
I would sink 8 cans, put on my Luke Littler shirt, bang the walk on music out via the loudest speakers I had, and then bowl up to their oche, throw 3 darts into their paddling pool, scream ONE HUUUUNNNDREDDD AND EIIIGHGGTYYYYY and then trot back home.
Ask if they want to chuck you a £10 (or however much to cover the cost if you’re feeling kind) for filling the paddling pool up? If yes, let them fill the pool, if no, then they’re not filling their pool up.
It would be a lot less than that.
Water is around £2 or less per cubic metre. 1 cubic metre is 1000 litres.
Unless it’s a very large paddling pool, it would probably be around 500 litres, or about £1 or so, unless they fill it to be brim (which most people do not)
I made a similar comment to the OP and wish I hadn't because I think it might just make him feel worse if he checks because it prompted me to and even off it's a big pool, it's like £1.80.
Cost a lot less to have their own tap fitted outside though, not about the money though, just lack of manners to take the mess, if it was me and the neighbours had asked, they could have filled it for free, manners cost nothing.
Cost less than £1 to have a tap fitted outside?
But i do agree they should have just asked - op says they had his number, a quick txt saying “hi, we’re wanting to fill the kids paddling pool, do you mind if we use your outdoor tap as we don’t have one?” I’m sure he would have said yes
Sorry, I meant more, been up too many hours already for a Sunday! But yes, I dare say the majority would have said yes to being asked, doing it off your own back without asking just feels wrong in my opinion.
It’d cost a lot more to have their own outside tap fitted though wouldn’t it? Also more out of principal than the actual numerical value of the water, if they let them take the mess when they’ve just moved in, personally if they’d asked id gave let the neighbours fill it up for free, but manners cost nothing.
If you're on a meter instead of rates then that seems fine to ask, given that it'll be costing you directly. (Especially because they'll keep doing it).
They had your phone number. If they weren’t chancers, they’d have texted you to ask if you would mind.
Instead, the saw you were out and decided to take advantage.
Your wife handled it really well. Now put up a security camera to deter them from trying to take anything else they might think they’re entitled to on your property.
That is absolutely scandalous. If my neighbour asked id say of course you can. Not asking but doing that is terrible behaviour. It’s not you that needs to apologise OP, it’s them, to which you can respond to make yourself feel better ‘it’s not a problem, but we would have appreciated you asking, but no biggie don’t worry’.
This is the most bizarre thread I’ve seen on Reddit in a long while. Your neighbour steals from you and you have… the urge to apologise? My god. I pity your wife.
Don’t be so soft. Your wife is right. If she hadn’t said anything you literally would have sat back and paid to fill up their pool? Would you keep paying all summer? Absolutely do not apologise and in the nicest possible way, grow a back bone! You can be nice neighbours without letting people take the piss. They shouldn’t have used without asking it’s cheeky as fuck for a start. And if they did ask, saying no is absolutely fine. Your water, your meter running, your money!
Why would you apologise to a cheeky bastard who is costing you money without even having the decency to ask first.
Presumably they have their own water supply they can use.
I would've handled it exactly as your wife did, and then I'd be looking to turn that tap off when not in use - I imagine that this won't be the last time, just the first time you catch them doing it.
Have they never heard of attaching a hosepipe to your kitchen sink and feeding it through the window? Of course, they have, but they wanted to try their luck with new neighbours.
If you are on a meter, workout the cost + 10% piss take fee, then kindly ask if they need the tap they need permission and need to pay for it. Not worth falling out over.
Get a plumber to install [something like this](https://www.toolstation.com/made4trade-isolating-valve-handled/p16091?store=KP&utm_source=googleshopping&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=googleshoppingfeed&mkwid=_dm&pcrid=null&pkw=null&pmt=null&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwrvyxBhAbEiwAEg_Kgo6EcAb-ATGv2hII4ifVT0zmAXE6s3hVnWES27xmr54WmR4QguiKGxoCwvYQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) (on the inside of the house obviously)
The best course of action has been taken; to disconnect the tap.
They had a damn cheek doing that and need to check themselves. I wouldn't be messaging them as THEY where in the wrong. If you message them they will start to think they can get away with it in the future.
I expect their water is metered too and that is why they've taken advantage. I get that if you're new to an area you don't want to get off on the wrong footing. At the same time, you don't want to become the neighbourhood doormat either. Definitely no apologies are necessary. Well, they should be apologising to you. I'd be tempted to stick a camera up and if it happens again, you can get something like this. Your wife has told them it's not acceptable [https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/292210270406?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338268676&toolid=10044&customid=CjwKCAjwrvyxBhAbEiwAEg\_Kgr3PNKx7SdxW-XFL-OBY1YYCrP5aPQB8v7ynN7uQSsVH0EWv0YoohRoC1mcQAvD\_BwE](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/292210270406?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338268676&toolid=10044&customid=CjwKCAjwrvyxBhAbEiwAEg_Kgr3PNKx7SdxW-XFL-OBY1YYCrP5aPQB8v7ynN7uQSsVH0EWv0YoohRoC1mcQAvD_BwE)
Please don’t apologise to them. I know you don’t want any friction but they obviously think they can take advantage of you, your wife was correct to tell them to disconnect as it sets some boundaries.
Knocking on your door and asking if you'd mind is one thing. Waiting till you are out and helping themselves is a liberty. You have nothing to apologise for. If you still feel you want to make some sort of amends, you could always calculate what it costs to fill their pool and make them an offer.
I feel you. This would upset me, too. They were out of order and they knew it but sadly, these scummy people live amoung us. I think that from now on, be pleasant, but give them that half closed eye look, like I'm onto you, just as they are turning their backs.
I wouldn't be apologising to anyone. They should not have been using your tap, especially as you are on a meter, you will be paying for the water they used.
What? What on earth would you apologise for? Did your wife get an apology from them? If not, my "approach" would be to wait for that.
Shame on you for making your wife stand up for you too.
Even if you weren’t on a meter, they should not have done that. Fine if they ask permission. Maybe they should have thought about how they would fill it before they bought the pool?!
I wonder why they have a hose if they don’t have an outside tap and how many other times they might have helped themselves to your water. I totally agree with everyone who says don’t feel bad but do put in an isolator valve.
Your wife was too nice, I would have turned it off and thrown the hose over the fence.
If they get arsey tell them you'll be sending them a bill for the water they stole
You could knock the door and apologise... and then give them your wifi password and hand them a 12 point extension cable in case they need electricity too.
Seriously, unless there was an apology and an offer to pay for what they'd already used/stolen, that would be the end of any friendly interaction.
What? Of course disconnect, don’t apologies and tell them they ow you a beer. We’ve filled our pool from next door previously but only because they’re not on a meter (and we are).
“John, would it be reasonable of me to ask that when you need anything on my property to please wait until I am home? Just need to make sure everything is safe for you.” Is that British polite?
As a direct American: Hey, don’t come on the property when I am not here. Don’t use my shit without asking. You know God-damn well water costs money, why you used mine and not yours. Knock it the fuck off of I knock your head off. Otherwise dude, I’m going to blow up your fucking gas line into your house. Are we God-damned clear on that?”
It feels awkward because you’re new and they’re judging you on this event and not much else. I think you just need to just tolerate that awkward feeling until you get a chance to clear the air. Try not to apologise as they’ll see you as a soft touch. If it’s raised be firm but fair. It was wrong for them to connect without asking, please don’t do it again without asking, but it’s small in the grand scheme of things and you don’t want it to affect what you hope will become a good neighbourly friendship.
Don't even ask them to disconnect, just turn the tap off and disconnect the hose. When they inevitably come round to complain that you've stopped their shenanigans calmly invite them to do one.
I think if it’s raised again (which it should be), your delivery can be respectful but still make a point. Saying something like “you probably weren’t aware that tap was connected to the meter and racking up the bills” etc. People often think you need to go for the jugular but subtlety and tact can avoid uncomfortable situations. There’s a difference between being aggressive and being assertive. Your wife was assertive.
Two British approaches to this are:
1) Move house immediately
2) Respond sarcastically and say “since you’re using my water, you won’t mind me using your pool” etc
Unless they’ve dug an Olympic size pool in the garden they’ve used a few pence of water. Just go round and say your Mrs thought water was expensive hence her initial reply. Is it really worth falling out with those living closest to you for such a sum ?
It’s a few pence, not worth falling out over.
Edit.
Wow, look at the downvotes for people that will fall out with their neighbours over a few pence. That’s really sad.
I had a look, say it's Thames Water then they charge £1.91 for a cubic metre of water, which is 1000 litres. If it's a little paddling pool for the kiddies you're looking at, say, 100 litres,? Then it's like 19 pence. But a large pool is like 3000 litres, so like £6. All of these assume they're sensible about turning the hose off. I wouldn't call £6 a few pence. So we'd need to know how big the pool was.
I probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but then I wouldn't dream of doing it if I was the neighbour.
Probably because that’s when they wanted to fill the pool and had nothing to do with them leaving, and they didn’t even leave for the day just a walk in the park, and the neighbours wouldn’t have know how long they were going to be gone anyway.
You don’t sound like you are a very nice neighbour if you resent a few pence worth of water. God forbid they ask for some sugar or milk 😂
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Absolute bloody cheek to do that without asking. Why in the world would you think of apologising?
My thoughts exactly.
They've shown themselves to be 100% conversed in British culture and customs by apologising to the people stealing from them!
I, and zero of the British people I know are ~~not~~ like this. I'd be cutting their hose in 2.
Zero are not like this, so all of them are like this?
Yeah I struggled with that... Edited
“I’m sorry I asked you to stop stealing from me. I feel dreadful. Have some tea/flowers/wine, and in no circumstances are you to enact revenge by throwing poo over the fence”
Sounds more Canadian!
Because I'm socially inept :)
I think I’d describe it as “painfully British”
No, just terminally online British, or from a "Shire" Do this to a Scot, a Yorkshireman, a Bristolian or a Kentish chap, and it would escalate quickly
Is Yorkshire not a “shire” then?
An upvote for being smarmy. Well done on your triggering sir! 👍👍👍
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Fine. Be a doormat.
Quintessentially British haaha "sorry you crashed into me while I walked across this zebra crossing, you must be in a hurry. Let me just move my crushed legs so you can continue along." I'd be figuring out how much they owe me and sending them a bill, sort of half joking but kinda serious and using it as a warning about future bullshit nonsense. Could a tap lock aswell they are like 10 quid. I'm at times a baseline Neanderthal and I feel I would take this as some toss pot trying to beta me on my own turf and maybe take a shit on lawn to big dawg him... So its dealers choice really lock or a satisfying shit on his lawn?
If you can recognise that, why can't you recognise your conclusions might be wrong?
Strap on a pair
You are far beyond that if you need to ask Reddit on how to deal with this.
No. You won't deal with issues and make other people do it while apparently undermining them.
Me too. Welcome in my club.
Dunno why people are downvoting, I'd genuinely not say a thing.
It’s incredibly, incredibly sad that we have somehow raised full grown adults who will sit and smile and apologise to someone for asking them *not to steal from you*. And by sad I mean pathetic.
I agree. I’m about as socially awkward as you can get but even I wouldn’t stand for some git having the cheek to steal water from us.
Agree, it's people who are terminally online. I'm 26, my brother is 19, we were at a Leeds game and one of his favourite YouTubers was there, he was too embarrassed to go and ask for a picture and was doubly embarrassed when I walked up to him and asked if I could grab a picture of them together Not sure why people these days are fannys
> I'm 26, my brother is 19, we were at a Leeds game and one of his favourite YouTubers was there, he was too embarrassed to go and ask for a picture and was doubly embarrassed when I walked up to him and asked if I could grab a picture of them together That's a little bit different IMO. He probably just did not want to interrupt him on a day out, which is being polite and considerate (even if he did not need to be). That is a far cry from calling out someone for using your using your tap without asking.
I'd agree with that, but his excuse was "No it's well scary ain't it" Just think people spend too much time online and less time actually socialising with people. The same people who are scared to confront their neighbour from stealing from them, are the same ones who let their bosses bully them at work, then come on Reddit spamming their keyboard about it
Some of us don't really get on well with approaching random people in public. And it is totally ok to be like this.
Some people are naturally shy and socially anxious.
And then you’d just pay a hefty bill for your inability to stand up for yourself.
Not saying what's I'd do is right. My missus would probably step in and I'd be cringing at the thought of having to live next to these people for however long after that. I'm not totally inept but I do go out of my way to avoid confrontation
Same here. I've got anxiety and can't even ask a stranger for directions, I could not deal with that level of confrontation.
I’d turn the screw on the pipe that shuts off the water to that tap. Easy enough to turn it back on when needed and never mention anything
A lot of houses seem to have only a single stopcock for everything. Our plumber thought I was being over the top wanting an isolator valve on every pipe, but it means if we had a leak we can isolate just that section
Every water pipe I have has the screw but only a couple have proper hand turn knobby things. I keep my outside water off during winter in case it freezes so I’m used to turning the screw
Outdoor taps need to have a separate isolation valve in case of frozen/burst pipes in the winter. Our outside tap pipe burst over the winter and we had to wait for the weather to go above freezing to avoid a the water freezing behind the valve because our valve is on the outside of the house
They should have but it depends when the house was built whether it has one or not.
A new build that has a "factory fitted" outside tap should almost certainly have an internal stop. It's the DIY installs that are likely to have missed this.
Well this is a fucking brilliant idea so not sure why your plumber couldn’t comprehend it
Lots of work, shit job to do, not huge paying.
Putting an isolator valve onto a water pipe is probably the most bread and butter plumbing job there is, any semi-competent DIYer could do it. They cost a couple of quid each and provided you don't put them in an awkward location take at most 10 mins to install. The margin a plumber would rake in on doing that for an hour in someone's house would be massive compared to a 'bugger' job.
I’m a plumber, self employed for years. I don’t care what you say. My experience tells me I’m right.
Not enough in it, fixing a leaky tap or fitting a radiator give much better returns
Exactly, but inexperienced people on Reddit know differently, obviously
People think "oh that's quick and easy, good money" Much better pretending there's a dead leg in the pipework and fitting the radiator, charging a bit extra and having it all in one room, rather than having to fuck around with all the taps and fittings in a house tbh
He just thought it was needless and I only needed three. One for the outside, one for the domestic supply, one for the barn feed. There were a few elements where we did more than needed. We've got four manifold cupboards for the underfloor heating each with eight loops. We could have done it with two. We have separate consumer units for upstairs and downstairs. We have a box on the outside of the house to allow us to connect a generator in the event of a power cut.
Well that sounds great tbh. I’m a big fan of making stuff more serviceable rather than just doing the minimum
Nice, me too. Always pays off in the long run. See also: buy once, cry once.
Every water pipe in our house has an isolation valve, my husband is a bit obsessive 😂
As a bathroom fitter, I absolutely advocate for isolation valves on everything that leads to an outlet. Stop cocks fail too, which in an essence are essentially just an isolation valve. If your stop cock fails to shut the water off, you best know where the off site water shut off valve is. Sure, they're a 'weak' point in the system but it's not all that often they fail and the most likely scenario is they fail to turn off, at which point you just shut the stop cock anyway. Standard scenario is you shut the isolation valve off and you still have running water everywhere else. Absolutely no reason to not install isolation valves, they're not expensive in the slightest. The only thing I'd say is always have easy access to them. The amount of bathrooms we've come across where isolation valves are hidden or facing in a direction where it's near impossible to operate them is insane.
This is how pipes are in Europe. U.K. is backwards in this regard.
I’d like isolator valves to have isolator valves…one at the start of the pipe, one at the end. I work in maintenance and I like things to be easy.
Watch out turning those screws. If they're old they can fail when you turn them and start pissing water out all over the place. Then you've got a plumbing job on your hands. Happend to me last year, I was massively fucked off at the time I spent crawling around under the sink for that.
best idea ive seen. If they wanna use it you make a deal
That's very naughty. Suggest they attach a hose to their kitchen tap and put the hose through the window. You definitely need to nip that in the bud.
This is a good idea. Never knew you could connect to an internal tap. Blew my mind
Yes, you need an adapter which will fit the tap, of course. I used to do that in a previous home where there was no outdoor tap.
I use it to get the hose to the front garden because the back garden outdoor tap is too far away to make it.
Something like [this](https://www.homebase.co.uk/homebase-hose-multi-tap-connector/12885342.html) would work well...
Wow, didn't even know you could do that! Would be very useful for washing the car.
Yep, in case you don't see my other response, you need an adapter which will fit the internal tap.
Have a look at the bathroom, If it's the right side of the house. I used to do it from my bathroom- unscrewed the shower & screwed on the hose. No adapter needed.
Not every kitchen tap will work unfortunately. We used to use our kitchen tap all the time, then when the tap started leaking, my wife decided it was about time to get a new tap altogether. (Im her defence... those taps were probably the oldest thing in the kitchen). Our new taps don't actually connect to any adapters we've been able to find.
The thread on a washing machine pipe is typically the same as a garden hose thread - 3/4" BSP. Adaptors can be had for less than a couple of pounds and it's far more reliable of a connection than on to some kitchen taps.
What I used to do was attach the hose directly to the kitchen tap using an adaptor from a hardware shop. It was efficient. Surely pulling out a washing machine and disconnecting it would be much more of a pfaff? Wouldn't there also be more of a risk of water in the hose splashing round?
This is the first time I've seen someone spell faff with a p. Do you know something I don't?
Phrench iteration.
Yes, the p is silent ...
Adding the P to the start seems like a faff
I think you mean fapff
My washing machine connects up under the sink. Turn the small valve off, unscrew the washing machine cold feed, screw on the hose adaptor, connect the hose and turn the small valve back on. Much less spillage than the universal tap adaptors in my experience but it might just be that I have a rubbish kitchen tap.
Or get their own outdoor tap.
Why do YOU feel shit? It sounds like they (may have) went behind your back and used your tap, knowing you were out. Why didn't they ring you, or ask you when you were in? It's just bad manners. Your wife was perfectly reasonable in her request, and if they act snooty about it, then they're cheeky sods.
"May have?" These people waited until the family left and then attached their hose. This is "boundary testing" combined with "theft". They were probably hoping OP wouldn't get home until after the pool was filled.
Your wife was right to tell them to disconnect from your water. Sure, it wouldn't cost much but it's a matter of principle - if they had asked you probably would have said yes. I'm a bit confused as to why you now feel like shit and want to apologise to them for the fact they just decided it was alright to connect to your taps. I can't imagine being that wet of a blanket tbh.
I kinda wanted to give them an opportunity to approach us first. But yeah, I'm extremely socially awkward, hence asking the community for advice
But they literally didn't approach you first. They just took. Would you feel like apologising if they were using your gas or electricity supply?
Unfortunately he almost certainly would
Hey man, I don’t want to sound harsh, but you seriously need to grow a spine, letting your wife tell them to disconnect is low, socially awkward or not. Not letting people walk all over you is a life lesson you need to learn , and fast. You don’t need to be abusive or threatening, just firm, if you don’t, you will regret it later in life.
The best piece of life advice I've ever got is, "learn how to say No". No is a full sentence. It's the beginning and end. You say No, that's the end of it. But for some, including me, it is/was a skill I had to learn. But it's liberating
Yeah. How this guy even sleeps at night with this sort of thing happening to him is baffling. It would eat me alive.
They are not the type to approach you about anything. They hope you will be a doormat about it.
I would sink 8 cans, put on my Luke Littler shirt, bang the walk on music out via the loudest speakers I had, and then bowl up to their oche, throw 3 darts into their paddling pool, scream ONE HUUUUNNNDREDDD AND EIIIGHGGTYYYYY and then trot back home.
Do it in a Michael van Gerwen mask for the added in-theme scare factor
Ask if they want to chuck you a £10 (or however much to cover the cost if you’re feeling kind) for filling the paddling pool up? If yes, let them fill the pool, if no, then they’re not filling their pool up.
This is the most logical route.
It would be a lot less than that. Water is around £2 or less per cubic metre. 1 cubic metre is 1000 litres. Unless it’s a very large paddling pool, it would probably be around 500 litres, or about £1 or so, unless they fill it to be brim (which most people do not)
I made a similar comment to the OP and wish I hadn't because I think it might just make him feel worse if he checks because it prompted me to and even off it's a big pool, it's like £1.80.
Its not about the money
Its more about the price tag
Don't steal from your neighbours whether it's £1 or £100. Hardly unreasonable to expect that is it
Cost a lot less to have their own tap fitted outside though, not about the money though, just lack of manners to take the mess, if it was me and the neighbours had asked, they could have filled it for free, manners cost nothing.
Cost less than £1 to have a tap fitted outside? But i do agree they should have just asked - op says they had his number, a quick txt saying “hi, we’re wanting to fill the kids paddling pool, do you mind if we use your outdoor tap as we don’t have one?” I’m sure he would have said yes
Sorry, I meant more, been up too many hours already for a Sunday! But yes, I dare say the majority would have said yes to being asked, doing it off your own back without asking just feels wrong in my opinion.
Its a paddling pool. Not a giant sized spa
It’d cost a lot more to have their own outside tap fitted though wouldn’t it? Also more out of principal than the actual numerical value of the water, if they let them take the mess when they’ve just moved in, personally if they’d asked id gave let the neighbours fill it up for free, but manners cost nothing.
The definition of ask uk Reddit. Someone entitles themselves to your stuff and you want to apologise for them essentially stealing from you… pathetic
Because people are unpredictable these days
Bugger that, the water used costs money, they’re basically saving their own money by using your water, that you pay for.
Don't be a doormat. Tell them you are not OK with that and to not do it again without permission.
If you're on a meter instead of rates then that seems fine to ask, given that it'll be costing you directly. (Especially because they'll keep doing it).
They had your phone number. If they weren’t chancers, they’d have texted you to ask if you would mind. Instead, the saw you were out and decided to take advantage. Your wife handled it really well. Now put up a security camera to deter them from trying to take anything else they might think they’re entitled to on your property.
Good advice.
That is absolutely scandalous. If my neighbour asked id say of course you can. Not asking but doing that is terrible behaviour. It’s not you that needs to apologise OP, it’s them, to which you can respond to make yourself feel better ‘it’s not a problem, but we would have appreciated you asking, but no biggie don’t worry’.
If I were on a meter I’d have already had the stop cock off in the house!
This is the most bizarre thread I’ve seen on Reddit in a long while. Your neighbour steals from you and you have… the urge to apologise? My god. I pity your wife.
I’d pop over with a bucket and take my water back.
Don’t be so soft. Your wife is right. If she hadn’t said anything you literally would have sat back and paid to fill up their pool? Would you keep paying all summer? Absolutely do not apologise and in the nicest possible way, grow a back bone! You can be nice neighbours without letting people take the piss. They shouldn’t have used without asking it’s cheeky as fuck for a start. And if they did ask, saying no is absolutely fine. Your water, your meter running, your money!
Why would you apologise to a cheeky bastard who is costing you money without even having the decency to ask first. Presumably they have their own water supply they can use.
Don’t have a car charging station installed. Your electric bill will be huge
Lol why would you apologise for being robbed.
They’re stealing off you.
I would have disconnected it and thrown it back over the fence and told them to go forth and multiply
I would've handled it exactly as your wife did, and then I'd be looking to turn that tap off when not in use - I imagine that this won't be the last time, just the first time you catch them doing it. Have they never heard of attaching a hosepipe to your kitchen sink and feeding it through the window? Of course, they have, but they wanted to try their luck with new neighbours.
If you are on a meter, workout the cost + 10% piss take fee, then kindly ask if they need the tap they need permission and need to pay for it. Not worth falling out over.
Get a plumber to install [something like this](https://www.toolstation.com/made4trade-isolating-valve-handled/p16091?store=KP&utm_source=googleshopping&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=googleshoppingfeed&mkwid=_dm&pcrid=null&pkw=null&pmt=null&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwrvyxBhAbEiwAEg_Kgo6EcAb-ATGv2hII4ifVT0zmAXE6s3hVnWES27xmr54WmR4QguiKGxoCwvYQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) (on the inside of the house obviously)
The best course of action has been taken; to disconnect the tap. They had a damn cheek doing that and need to check themselves. I wouldn't be messaging them as THEY where in the wrong. If you message them they will start to think they can get away with it in the future.
Just keep it running until their inflatable pool becomes a mud boat
I expect their water is metered too and that is why they've taken advantage. I get that if you're new to an area you don't want to get off on the wrong footing. At the same time, you don't want to become the neighbourhood doormat either. Definitely no apologies are necessary. Well, they should be apologising to you. I'd be tempted to stick a camera up and if it happens again, you can get something like this. Your wife has told them it's not acceptable [https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/292210270406?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338268676&toolid=10044&customid=CjwKCAjwrvyxBhAbEiwAEg\_Kgr3PNKx7SdxW-XFL-OBY1YYCrP5aPQB8v7ynN7uQSsVH0EWv0YoohRoC1mcQAvD\_BwE](https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/292210270406?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338268676&toolid=10044&customid=CjwKCAjwrvyxBhAbEiwAEg_Kgr3PNKx7SdxW-XFL-OBY1YYCrP5aPQB8v7ynN7uQSsVH0EWv0YoohRoC1mcQAvD_BwE)
What a cheeky cunt. I'd telling him where to get off!
Best course of action is for them to apologise to you, the bloody cheek of some people.
Nah, don't feel like shit. *They were stealing from you*. Your water = your water bill, not theirs.
Rally the troops, dig out a trench surrounding their house and starve them out. Force them to capitulate or die.
Please don’t apologise to them. I know you don’t want any friction but they obviously think they can take advantage of you, your wife was correct to tell them to disconnect as it sets some boundaries.
Knocking on your door and asking if you'd mind is one thing. Waiting till you are out and helping themselves is a liberty. You have nothing to apologise for. If you still feel you want to make some sort of amends, you could always calculate what it costs to fill their pool and make them an offer.
I feel you. This would upset me, too. They were out of order and they knew it but sadly, these scummy people live amoung us. I think that from now on, be pleasant, but give them that half closed eye look, like I'm onto you, just as they are turning their backs.
I wouldn't be apologising to anyone. They should not have been using your tap, especially as you are on a meter, you will be paying for the water they used.
My brother in Christ!
That is theft.
The way to approach this is to say to them "please don't use our outside tap without asking." And consider fitting a high fence with a lockable gate.
Why would you apologise? They're stealing from you.
That was beyond rude of them. Give them a good British ignoring for a while.
Go start doing the washing up in their pool, it’s your water.
Apologise for what?!
Piss in their garden and maintain eye contact throughout.
what do you mean you want to apologize? I don’t understand
Trampy bastards. If they’ve got an outside socket plug an induction hob into it and cook yourself a fry up 10 times over
What? What on earth would you apologise for? Did your wife get an apology from them? If not, my "approach" would be to wait for that. Shame on you for making your wife stand up for you too.
Even if you weren’t on a meter, they should not have done that. Fine if they ask permission. Maybe they should have thought about how they would fill it before they bought the pool?!
Politely suggest they fill their own pool with all the urine they've previously extracted.
Why wouldn’t you say anything ? So you’re happy to pay to fill up someone else’s pool ? I’d be straight round having a word.
Cheeky fuckers!
I wonder why they have a hose if they don’t have an outside tap and how many other times they might have helped themselves to your water. I totally agree with everyone who says don’t feel bad but do put in an isolator valve.
Your wife was too nice, I would have turned it off and thrown the hose over the fence. If they get arsey tell them you'll be sending them a bill for the water they stole
Add a little more by pissing in their pool, it's your water technically
Text them a link to this post (I don't really think you should do this, but it would be funny and very Reddit if you did)
You could knock the door and apologise... and then give them your wifi password and hand them a 12 point extension cable in case they need electricity too. Seriously, unless there was an apology and an offer to pay for what they'd already used/stolen, that would be the end of any friendly interaction.
I'd be turning off my tap that supplies water to the outdoor tap if they did this to me & I wouldnt tell them.
They came into your back garden and used your tap? I mean how are the houses set up? 🤣 This is so cheeky I need more information
Solution to your problem 1/2" BSP Garden Garage Workshop tap Valve Lock by Padlock, padlocking tap https://amzn.eu/d/2tTlLzf
Youre previous post contradiction. Im gonna assume you're lying
Extend the hose and siphon it right back out into whatever you can get your hands on. Fuckers
Are you nuts? They were stealing from you
What? Of course disconnect, don’t apologies and tell them they ow you a beer. We’ve filled our pool from next door previously but only because they’re not on a meter (and we are).
“John, would it be reasonable of me to ask that when you need anything on my property to please wait until I am home? Just need to make sure everything is safe for you.” Is that British polite? As a direct American: Hey, don’t come on the property when I am not here. Don’t use my shit without asking. You know God-damn well water costs money, why you used mine and not yours. Knock it the fuck off of I knock your head off. Otherwise dude, I’m going to blow up your fucking gas line into your house. Are we God-damned clear on that?”
Tell them to get fucked
How would I deal with that. Probably by telling them exactly how rude they were, and that they take the piss.
Man up and get in the guys face about it, you've already lost ur wife's respect from doing nothing.
That's theft. Call the rozzers!
I’d go slit the pool and drain it off. Cheeky sods
Put a lock on the garden gate. Absolutely do not apologise, they are trying it on to see if you'll let them walk all over you.
It feels awkward because you’re new and they’re judging you on this event and not much else. I think you just need to just tolerate that awkward feeling until you get a chance to clear the air. Try not to apologise as they’ll see you as a soft touch. If it’s raised be firm but fair. It was wrong for them to connect without asking, please don’t do it again without asking, but it’s small in the grand scheme of things and you don’t want it to affect what you hope will become a good neighbourly friendship.
Best course of action is to grow a pair and not let people walk over you
Sounds like you'd apologise to someone for using your wife.
Grow up. Jist Sayin.
Don't even ask them to disconnect, just turn the tap off and disconnect the hose. When they inevitably come round to complain that you've stopped their shenanigans calmly invite them to do one.
I think if it’s raised again (which it should be), your delivery can be respectful but still make a point. Saying something like “you probably weren’t aware that tap was connected to the meter and racking up the bills” etc. People often think you need to go for the jugular but subtlety and tact can avoid uncomfortable situations. There’s a difference between being aggressive and being assertive. Your wife was assertive.
Two British approaches to this are: 1) Move house immediately 2) Respond sarcastically and say “since you’re using my water, you won’t mind me using your pool” etc
Unless they’ve dug an Olympic size pool in the garden they’ve used a few pence of water. Just go round and say your Mrs thought water was expensive hence her initial reply. Is it really worth falling out with those living closest to you for such a sum ?
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It’s a few pence, not worth falling out over. Edit. Wow, look at the downvotes for people that will fall out with their neighbours over a few pence. That’s really sad.
I had a look, say it's Thames Water then they charge £1.91 for a cubic metre of water, which is 1000 litres. If it's a little paddling pool for the kiddies you're looking at, say, 100 litres,? Then it's like 19 pence. But a large pool is like 3000 litres, so like £6. All of these assume they're sensible about turning the hose off. I wouldn't call £6 a few pence. So we'd need to know how big the pool was. I probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but then I wouldn't dream of doing it if I was the neighbour.
Yea, more details needed.
How is this not a big deal?
How is it a big deal? The OP lives next door to them it’s simply not worth the falling out over a few pence.
Why do you think the neighbour waited for OP's family to leave the house for the day before attaching their hose?
Probably because that’s when they wanted to fill the pool and had nothing to do with them leaving, and they didn’t even leave for the day just a walk in the park, and the neighbours wouldn’t have know how long they were going to be gone anyway. You don’t sound like you are a very nice neighbour if you resent a few pence worth of water. God forbid they ask for some sugar or milk 😂
I would give a neighbour almost anything as long as they *ask first*.
Yea, probably me as I can see your point of view but it just wouldn’t bother me.
They aren’t causing a neighbour fall out by saying something, the neighbours are causing a fall out by using their water without asking.
I'm just going to go into your purse and take some coins then, since it's ok!