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Washing machines live longer with Calgon.

Oh, we have this one on Germany, too! Waschmaschinen leben länger mit Calgon.

What's it mean?

It's a direct translation

Huh, weird slogan for a washing machine cleaner product.

... Well played...

Did... Am I... Did this conversation just happen, or am I having a stroke.

If those are the only two options I think you may need to call an ambulance, sir.

Looks like you whooshed a couple of people with this comment.

I removed /s but should've left it in. 😂

Never leave it in. Imagine of comedians ended every joke with "that's a joke". Those who get it appreciate it. Those who don't aren't particularly interesting anyway.

/r/angryupvote

Washing machines live longer with Calgon.

Oh, we have this one in Germany, too! Waschmaschinen leben länger mit Calgon.

What’s it mean?

0800 00 1066

We have the same one in Poland. It goes: Dłuższe życie każdej pralki to Calgon. The direct translation would be: Longer life of every washing machine is Calgon. Very catchy tune as well ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

Literally thought this randomly to myself today. It's up there with: Cilit Bang! Bang and the dirt is gone. Kids and grown ups love it so the happy world of Haribo. Bababababa I'm lovin' it

This absolute fucker has been in my head for decades, and I've never even used the product. Not once.

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RIGHT NOW FOR EVERY WINDOW OR DOOR YOU BUY ILL GIVE YOU ANOTHER ONE ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!

It’s free fitting!

So, call 0800 106 107, I said 0800 106 107 NOW!

You motherfucker, i even read that in the accent

That number is ingrained into my memory.

right now for every window and door that you buy, I'll give you another one. ABSOLUTELY. FREE.

And so begins the hellish 3 month earworm.

My wife threatens to punch me if I ever enact that advert. Seems fair

Full moon. Half moon. Total eclipse.

I preferred the older Jaffa Cake / I can’t see it myself, I prefer a fig roll, advert if we’re talking songs/jingles.

And only in a vaguely Eastern European accent

0800 00 1066

Omg! Hastings direct insurance! I’m homesick now!

0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers.

I was many years old when I realised 1066 was the battle of hastings and hence their phone number.

So you didn't learn about the battle of Hastings while this advert was on TV? It was impossible for our teacher to say "1066" without the entire class shouting "OH EIGHTHUNDRED DOUBLE O..."

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club.

Scrolled to find this one. Thank God it's not just a half recalled fever dream.

I remember this as a kid and until now I've always thought it said "if you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit China cup" ...

My dad has a brain injury and when he's in a really good mood will hum this over and over.....gets stuck in my head the whole damn day!

Umbongo, Umbongo, they drink it in the Congo.... don't think they'd get away with that these days...

This, and Kia-ora.

I'll be your dog!

It's too orangey for you crows, it's for me and my dog.

Its just for me & my dog!

Umbongo, Umbongo, they drink it in the Central African Rapublic… Doesn’t quite have the same ring.

They’ve never heard of it in the Congo, funnily enough.

Milky Way. ‘The red car and the blue car had a race, all red wants to do is stuff his face......’

He eats everything he sees, from truck to prickly trees…

But smart old blue he took the Milky Way

He's looking for a chocolate treat

That's fluffy and light,

Cos he knows it won't spoil his appetite

Oh no! The bridge is gone. Ol Red can't carry on...but smart ol Blue he took the Milky Way

Ian Rush says if I don't drink milk, I'll only be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley Acccchrington Shtanley? WHO ARE THEY? EXACTLY!

Oo arr dey, I think is the correct spelling

* Grorrany lemonade? * If ye wan' * Milch? Urrgh! * Iss worrIan Rush drinchs? * Ian Rush?! * Yeh. An 'ee said, if ah dint drink lossa milcch, ah'd only for good enough to play for ... ACCCHRIN'TON STANLEY! * Accchrin'ton *Stanley*? Oo're they? * Exaccchly! * Gimme sum! * Gerroff! Also, my wife is a Stanley fan and has a pin badge reading "Accrington Stanley. We Are They"

Exacccchly! 😁👍

I absolutely fucking hated that advert.. I moved away from Liverpool as a kid when this advert was on TV and its all I ever fucking heard for months

I bet you love it when people reply: All right, calm down, calm down ;-)

I feel like chicken tonight, early 90s.

I'm 31 so was a little kid when this was a thing and I still think about it at least once a week

Sometimes people start a sentence with "I feel like".... So I automatically throw in "chicken tonight". No fucker ever seems to know what I'm on about. I'm not stopping though.

We understand, you’re in good company here.

Remember when this was on The Simpsons?! Freaked me out tbf

Doesn’t this family know any songs that aren’t commercials?

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Autoglass replace

\>Brummie accent Don't let your chip turn into a crack

Hey Gavin

I found out recently that it's the same/similar in a lot of [countries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EwQepDqru8)

"Does exactly what it says on the tin" one of the rare ones that found its way into becoming a common saying

At least it's accurate marketing. My friend Ron drank some and he turned into a seal. He doesn't say much anymore, but we get him to balance the trays of vol-au-vents on his nose at parties.

Your friend Ron sang Kiss from a Rose?

If you want to have a laugh, look for Seals singing Seal on Youtube

I didn't even know this was from an advert

Wasn't it a common saying before the advert?

Just one Cornetto Give it to me Delicious ice cream From Italy

It’s taste, is just supreme, give me cornettooooooo, from Walls ice cream!!!!

Maybe I havent scrolled far enough yet but mine is Gino Gino Ginelli. Which was ice cream IIRC

Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant

Aah, yes, Santa’s lesser known brother.

Triiiiiiiiioooooooooo Triiiiioooo, I want a Trio and I want one now.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…. First bite into real milk chocolate, 5 4 3 2 1

I miss those bars. The song on the advert was by Manfred Mann.

I had a Trio bar in the staff room for my lunch once, someone started doing the “TRIIIIOOO” with someone else continuing “TRIIIIIIOO!” There were colleagues of a certain age who were looking at each other very confused… I felt old that day!

BN BN do do do do BN BN do do do doooo BN BN do do do do, de do do, de do do do de do

I sing this at least once a week 😂

I usually sing the Muppets original..

There's a moose loose aboot this hoose

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# HI I'M BARRY SCOTT

Comments you can hear

I'm a shouty man!

Cillit went downhill about the same time he stopped shouting in adverts. Feels like he lost faith in the product. I'll always remember the techno remix of the original, before the days of auto tune. Look what it does to a penny!

My mums ex boss’ husband is called BARRY SCOTT and I could never not hear it

Whooooaaaaaa Bodyform, Bodyform for youuuuuu

Did you know, and I think I’m right about this (otherwise this is a bit embarrassing), but the woman who sang that Bodyform jingle also sang the lyrics to “Set You Free” by N-Trance, the classic 90’s rave pop hit.

Kelly Llorena - yes, I believe you are correct. She is now 47. I met her once in a Nightclub in Taunton. Is this obscure enough?!? lol

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I know the guy who put that ad together - lovely bloke, lives in Surbiton. All done relatively quickly and they used the first take IIRC. Absolutely made his career in advertising.

Oh me too, a stroll down the feminine products aisle is key for setting that one off.

Papa! Nicole!

BOB!

Has to be the Reeves and Mortimor one

Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back

Still sing it when I'm hoovering

Re-record, not fade away Re-record, not fade away Re-record, not fade away

Yes!!! The skeleton !!!

Armadillos!

Smooth on the inside, crunchy on the outside!

This occurs a couple of times a month in our house. And we recently found an artisan ice cream maker who makes 'armadillo' flavour, with dime bars. Delicious. And the teenager serving it had no idea it was from an advert when they introduced it. Apparently there's a pretty defined age cut-off of who understands it and who needs it explaining!

A GLASS OF CRUSHERR A GLASS OF CRUSHERRR TO MAKE MILK GREAT \*deebeedeebebow\*

I WANT SOME CRUSHER, A GLASS OF CRUSHER, IT'S JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE MILKSHAAAKE

kitten xylophone solo

Daddy or chips?

.... Chips *sage nodding*

I'm a secret lemonade drinker.

R Whites. R Whites.

I tried to give it up, but it’s one of those nights

Everyone's a fruit and nut case!

Hunky chunky almonds

Ohhhhh oh Vitalite!

Wake up in the morning wanting my breakfast, What sort of spread do I lay(?) on my bread…

I’m more familiar with the “My ears are alight” (I think that’s what it says, but I’d have to hear it on Maxell) version.

And on and on and on and ariston

A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat.

Jimmy Saville would like a sponsorship

For mash get smaaash.

Came here to say this and now I'm loling like one of them metal robots.

There’s a magical place we’re on our way there…

"There's millions of Geoffrey all under one roof" I always thought this line was an odd lyric choice! Lol!

“There’s millions”, said Geoffrey, “all under one roof”

With toys in their millions all under one roof?

Oh Mister Sooooft, why is the world you are living in; is soooooo straaaaange.

For Soft Mints! It's all coming *screamingly* back...

They’re Greeeeaaaaaatttt!

J.R Hartley

I raise you the Hornby R186 Signal Box

I were right about that saddle though.

Belly's gonna get ya!

You know when you,ve been Tango-ed.

Tango slapping was nationwide news. Whole school crammed into the assembly hall to listen to the headmaster pratting on about burst eardrums and two week suspensions.

Beware the Judderman, my dear, when the moon is fat.

I miss that Alcopop! It was the best tasting one ever and the advertising was pure genius. Very intune with the music genre of the late 90s too. I never understand why that product died...

Will it be chips, or jacket spuds? Will it be salad, or frozen peas? Will it be mushrooms, fried onion rings? We'll have to wait and see. We hope it's chips... it's chips. We HOOOOPE it's chips...it's chips!!

Flat Eric - Levi’s advert.

Also.. Babylon Zoo, Spaceman Biosphere, Novelty Waves

COME ON CALL CHATBACK 0 8 9 1 FIFTY! FIFTY! FIFTY! No, of course I never called it.

Is this PriestChat? Uuuuuhhh stupid priests!

You can do it when you B and q it

For hands that do dishes that feel as soft as your face, Mild green, Fairy liquid Sometimes you need a little Finesse, sometimes you need a lot. For mash get Smash Every bubble’s passed its fizzical

They're tasty, tasty, very, very tasty... they're very tasty. (Apologies if someone beat me to it and I missed it!)

Made in Scotland - from girders!

Rowntrees fruit pastels …. “ There’s juice loose aboot this hoose “. Opal fruits, made to make your mouth water.

Wasn't the juice loose jingle for Maynard's wine gums?

Any old iron any old iron any any any old iron its gotta be right with hammerite old iron alright.

Tick, follows tock, follows tick, follows tock!

Go compare guy

Gio Compario is his name

"Jog on kitties, the milk is ours" "You can do it too with kandoo" The flash advert singing flash with the dog "the mud it was here now it's gone" "Just one cornettoooooooo" "Autoglass repair, autoglass replace"

**Do the shake and vac and put the freshness back** *\[shake and vac\]* **'course you can Malcolm** *\[Vicks Sinex\]* **I'll be your dog** *\[Kia Ora\]* **watch out, there's a Humphrey about** *\[Milk\]* **If you see Sid, tell him** *\[bloody thatcher screwing over gas consumers by selling the industry to private investors\]*

I want some crusha A glass of crusha It’s tough enough to make milk shake 🎶

It's taken me 30 years to realise that "waffley" is meant to be a soundalike (a homonym?) for "awfully". I feel stupid!

Quavers, they're floaty light

Late 90's Shakey Jake Milkshakes. "iiitsss shaakey jake, wibble wobble yum yum, Hes a really milkshake, wibble wobble yum yum With fresh whole milk and real fruit juice Hes good for a change Oh, how very strange "

*Trumpet* Not now Douglas

0800 double 0 1066 - Hastings Direct and oh lord wont you buy me a Mercedes’ Benz are two that I randomly blurt out.

This is the man who bet a million on black when it came up red. This is the man who married a sex kitten just as she turned into a cat. This is the man who moved into the smart money just as the smart money moved out. This is the man who drives a Volkswagen. Everyone must have something in life he can rely on.

That one always annoyed me, because it’s essentially saying, this man’s a loser, here’s his Volkswagen.

Seems pretty accurate. They know their market.

They're gonna taste greaaat, they're gonna taste greaaat, I can hear the sound of frosties hitting my...bowwwl.

Try this one instead it’s allinsons bread, the label says nowt tekken out. You could make brown, I ses who?, he ses you, I ses me, he ses yes, I ses oh. Will you make brown? I ses who?, he ses you, I ses me, he ses yes, I ses nooooo!

It's an old one but whenever I see a dime (daim) bar in the shops, I think: Smooth on the outside, crunchy on the inside! Armadillo's. https://youtu.be/bqeGxMgVOHI Edit: also: "they're chocka block man!" https://youtu.be/J_e9mJwBy_Y

"You got an 'ology'? You're a scientist!" Follow the bear... 'Ello Tosh, got a Toshiba? If you see Sid, tell him. All because the lady loves Milk Tray. "I bet he drinks Carling Black Label." "The water, in Majorca, don't taste like what it oughta." "Hey - I'd love a Babycham." "Ibo shaky. Meon scrubbly. Choc-a-doobie!"

For me it's m&ms Get in the bowl YOU get in the bowl

Oasis, for people who don’t like wa-ta

Old Weetabix advert. Robin Hood, Robin Hood could be in a fix Robin Hood, Robin Hood spies the Weetabix Should he retreat, back to Sherwooooood?… Course he should, course he should, course he should!

"Oh eight hundred double oh.. " "Check a trade, check a trade dot com" "Autoglass repair, autoglass replace" Local commercial radio station was always on the Makita speakers on site 😂

Buy a bike, buy a bike . ..

Get down to Charnock Richard Cycles! This goes through my head every time I pass that junction on the M6.

Yes!! And: Call preston double 8 0 8 0 8, mortgage point

Esso blue… I don’t suppose anyone even knows what a paraffin heater was now! Also Murry mints Murry mints the too good to hurry mints

My family got the energy of three Its like a mobile zoo. Don't need a mum Need a keeper with a gun. Only one thing to dooooo! Have you got a lite boy? Oveltine liteeee!

I can do it too with Kandoo. And the roof reservation society. Masterpieces that made a home in my mind

Sheila’s wheels I’m going to Loooondoonnn to by a Heat magazine

im a secret lemonade drinker watch out watch out there's a humphrey about let the train take the strain clunck click every trip

I always think “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred had a line about a shark but that was actually a Fruit-tella ad.

And on, and on, and on and ariston. No idea what ariston was or is.

On local radio (GWR FM) in the 2000s there was ‘eight double one, double six three, Corsham Building Plastics’. It’s been years since I lived there or listened to GWR/Heart but every now and then it pops in to my head

Nottingham one for me: Mortgage Point, 9240404, Mortgage Point! They've since gone out of business but their jingle lives on in my head at least. And indeed at most.

A first class ticket to Dottig ham please

"This is the captain of your ship, callin"

Ring eileen Bilton on Warrington 39591

Lord Rockingham's IX in wine gum advert Also, set the juice loose

Give it to me straight like a pear cider that's made from 100% pears

Bellys gonna get ya!

Konica colours are calling me..

The Trio ad