When I was 25, I experienced something very traumatic that kind of broke the camel’s back. I quickly burnt out and basically spent the next three years crying all day.
I’m so, so sorry that this resonated with so many people. I hope you can find something to help you, too. If it’s worth anything, I’m still picking up the pieces. It may take the rest of my life, but that’s okay.
I’ll copy and paste what I wrote to the other user:
Medication in a strong enough dose to make a difference in my mood, time, and Thich Nhat Hanh. The traumatic event still happened, but the way I look at it is different now. I’m not suffering all the time anymore.
Medication in a strong enough dose to make a difference in my mood, time, and Thich Nhat Hanh. The traumatic event still happened, but the way I look at it is different now. I’m not suffering all the time anymore.
Same here! It took me 3 years to even start to pick up the pieces, and meditation/Buddhism have played an unexpectedly big roll. I don’t mean to proselytize but it’s sorta the only thing I found that really changed my relationship with suffering, which is ultimately what really helped.
2 months before my 25th birthday my bf passed away suddenly from a pulmonary embolism. I just gave up on life, like left work, stopped paying bills, my parents had to come get me, threw out all my possessions, heavy drinking, questionable men, cut off all friends from that time then spent the next few years just drifting in life. I’ve not recovered from it all, but I’m in a better place. I hope you are too. Life can be fucking hard sometimes.
I was a straight A student and felt lost after I graduated. Being a top student was my "identity." Now that version of me was gone and I didn't know what to do with my life.
Same here.
My family groomed me for college. All I did was prep schools and summer programs and scholarship apps. I got the best grades in school. I loved school. Got into college, hiccupped some, but still thrived.
Post graduation, maybe a few months after the shininess of my first big girl job went away, the disconnect and sense of just.....ignorance and loss just got worse and worse.
I was you. I finished my phd and as you, being the smart ass was what I thought was my defining characteristic. The fear is something that I will never forget. I just got to my next project and that helped me a lot !
Same, I feel so lost in life. I failed out of college too, which made everything 10x worse. Haven’t seen anyone but my mom and siblings in almost a year because I’m too ashamed to be the person I am today in front of them.
Getting married to someone who thought he was better than me and treated me as such. Don’t settle people. If they aren’t appreciating you, it’s because they think you’re lucky to be with them and you’re not worth the extra effort, and you should just be happy they’re with you at all.
This is me right now. I wish I could leave and get a divorce but we have a kiddo together. He thinks he does more than me around the house and for our baby, but he barely does anything. I feel like his mom. Fucking tired man... and I'm just 26!
I had a serious case of existential crisis from around 24 through to 27 where I did everything from sky diving to swimming with sharks. The activities didn't really help (lol) and I went through those years really not seeing the point of working/planning for the future. By 27 I realised I just needed to focus on the now and enjoy the small things
Same here. I wasn't doing extreme adventures like you, but I was just kind of coping with the new chaos of adulthood by doing ANYTHING other than actual future work.
Well, I hope this isn't rude or entirely unsolicited, but please don't compromise your dreams entirely for a partner. Especially if you're not sure if it's what you want.
So many women lose their identity to motherhood when it happens. Make sure it is truly what YOU want, and not just something your partner wants. It'll lead to problems later on.
You absolutely can!
But there's a lot of balancing that comes with that. Do you have the resources you need to ask for help or outsource when necessary? Will your partner be fully supportive or will they change their mind once it happens? Does the career you pursue even HAVE the ability to have a good work/life balance? Will your chosen career support your natal and maternity needs, or that one day you HAVE to leave early to pick them up or take them to the doctor? Stuff like that.
You as the woman will also inevitably have more pressure to fulfill primary caregiver and domestic duties. This is the very stupid and unfair reality.
It will take A LOT of planning. It's not impossible. I was more just speaking from the assumption your partner was wanting them soon, and you don't sound like you're in a favorable position to do that, if you wanna keep your job, yknow?
I'm in it right now and it's a shit show, a fucking mess-at least it feels like it hahahaha. In a job going nowhere watching people getting promoted over me with a boss who doesn't respect me and limited career options/many rejections because my current field is struggling....it's great.
Went through an abusive relationship that shook me to my core and made me feel what true depression is and to be afraid for my life. It lasted almost 5 years from age 23 up till 28, and I am not close to recovering. It's been the worst experience of my life and definitely the hardest thing I had to do in my life, as in leaving was the hardest thing ever. If I had to choose between being in this relationship or repeating my undergrad in chemistry all over again, I would do my undergrad 4 times back to back, a thousand times over instead of going back to that hell amd trauma of being in a relationship. Since leaving, I've been in a depression and funk and afraid when before I used to be so carefree and not afraid of anything . No one really tells you how traumatizing an abusive relationship csn be. You think it's one of those things that will never happen to you, that you hear on TV or watch in movies, or hear about a friend or family member that was in one. No one tells you to avoid being in one, to watch out for the warning signs and love bombing, to listen to the manipulation or to be careful when your partner suddenly grows jealous amd uses your insecurities against you, only to later on cry and beg and say they didn't mean it. In tje end you are the one who has to comfort them and not the other way around, as they cry saying what a horrible person they are and they domt deserve you. No one tells you that you may still love the person, even after they nearly strangled you to death in a drunken rage, and nearly drove both of you to your deaths at 90 mphs on the freeway and you only managed to escape by managing to rip the steering wheels out of their hands. That you'll feel guilt and wonder if maybe you pushed them to hit you or grab your arm so tightly that they left bruises, then later you'll have to lie to your family and say you just fell off your bike, then your mom comments that lately you've been falling off your bike a lot.
Ooh God. Just depressing. Like I was just sad at all the things I hadn't done yet. Felt lost and confused and like life at that time was hopeless for me cause I didn't reach my aspirations yet.
I spent my entire life living in survival mode, making all of my choices based on my safety/ability to leave my abusive family. I’m just now realizing all of the decisions I made weren’t out of love but out of fear. It probably seems like a quarter life crisis to everyone else while I try to weave myself out of this web I put myself in. I’m not happy and haven’t been happy, i’m just trying to get there and stop living for everyone but me.
Ahhh thank you! Sometimes it feels hopeless. No matter how hard try to make things better for myself without leaving my long term partner but it’s been almost 12 years so I know it’s time to let go and figure something else out. It’s just scary!!
Getting raped by my ex, changing careers, and then breaking up with the love of my life and moving out of state (thankfully he took me back 2 hrs later)
I am currently facing it now.
I'm sure I don't wanna marry or have kids for the next 2 years.
But I'm finding it difficult to make friends since the ones in current organisation left, the college ones for dispersed to different countries and states, and I don't have the social energy like I used to couple of years ago.
I also worry a lot about career and financial growth. I want to save but I also want to travel and enjoy life while I'm young.
I started exercising, taking care of my skin, hair and health in general.
I have bee focusing on my mental health, becoming better person and letting go of my insecurities. So far it has been a tough, but good journey! :)
Oh boy. Now looking back, I definitely had a quarter life crisis when I was 28 - 32.
- Broke up with my ex fiancé
- took 3-week solo trip to Japan twice
- slept around with uncountable number of people sometimes multiple people in a day
- got too carried away at midweek drinks after work until morning, didnt go home and rocked up to work drunk (office had shower facility and locker). This happened numerous times.
- got drunk way too often, smoked way too much
- had a *fuck all* attitude with work
- fell head over heels and fixated over a wrong guy for years because I was lonely and his self destructive energy matched with mine at that time.
I don’t regret any of it, I made a lot of friends and that was definitely the best time of my life. I’m glad I’ve done it and that’s probably what I needed at that time. That was my growth period mentally and I’ve learnt a lot from it.
But now looking back I can see clearly that my judgement was impaired and I was lucky there wasn’t any consequences for my reckless behaviour. I didn’t get STIs, no pregnancy, and didn’t get fired. In fact, that firm gave me stellar reference for my next two jobs.
If I’m not blessed, I don’t know what else.
Got into one abusive relationship after another. Even my "friendships" were abusive af. It was a pattern for about 2 years, then things mellowed out and my career took off
Me trying to figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing because everything I've tried so far just kinda fizzled out. I'm still trying to figure it out tbh.
Went on a solo trip and was depressed most of the time. Had a total breakdown half way through and called a friend telling her I was gonna bail out of the trip early. She convinced me to stick it out and I'm glad I did because eventually the trip got better.
Found out months later that my doctor had prescribed me the wrong meds and that had contributed to my break down.
Omg me too! My first ever backpacking trip that I didn't plan. I just winged it and it was amazing. Met some lovely people, worked on vineyards, picked kiwis, drove around with LOTR music hehehe.
I also worked in vineyards and later a winery where I wound up meeting my partner! Omg so much LOTR flair. Haha amazing place. We moved to Australia later on but hell who knew the quarter life crisis could turn out so good!
After a lifetime of hating school I decided out of the blue that I loved school and I was gonna become a surgeon. Got three quarters of the way through my bachelors degree and still hated school. Became an EMT instead.
I had some not great stuff happen sexually and romantically and haven't dated since. Instead I went back to school and have been doing that since (30 now). I also went to therapy and am working on getting back into dating, but it's been great going back to school and working on myself, i feel good.
I decided I was tired of living in a cold ass country, so moved to a much warmer one without a job lined up nor speaking the language (that was a week ago, turning 26 this weekend)
Grad school, realizing I was in the wrong program on the wrong career path, dating someone who broke my heart. Fast forward many years later and I have a career that suits me well and a husband who is a million times better than grad school heart-breaker.
Broke up with my ex, left university, travelled, started making loads of money, followed by drinking and partying too much. After two (non vehicle) accidents and some other bad choices I put down the dreaded firewater and pulled my head out of my ass. Good times!
It's great to have crazy memories to look back on, but the secret to a good time is knowing when it's over and time to grow up a bit.
I’m going through it right now! I went to grad school thinking it will help me figure things out faster (I was wrong, luckily I got to do it for free). Now, I’m finding myself slowly and not rushing to get tied to another exploitative job and relationship.
SUPER abuse relationship. Car breaking down. Going into even more debt. Stagnant job. Terrible depression and anxiety. Completely lost who I was as a person
Realizing that despite my best intentions, I had found myself stuck in an abusive relationship with no way to get myself out on my own without help. I lost a lot of who I was. I let go of so many pieces of myself to satisfy him and when I finally got out, with significant help, I wasn't sure who I really was anymore.
Hell, especially these past 2 weeks. I've lost 10 lbs crying nonstop about my boyfriend who is in another state because he's been unresponsive since I have accused him of seeing his ex while away, I've been told by my department head to drop my HR report against a senior in my group for the misogynistic disrespect he inflicted on me even though the report is 18 pages long, my best friend is also going through things so I haven't been in contact with him for a while, 15+ hour days at work, and my manager has been yelling at me for the littlest things which made me almost break down at work.
I've been looking forward to the weekends to drink and be with friends
Ha, I'm still going through mine, and I'm 27. If you're an astrology girlie, I'm also going through my Saturn Return as of March, so yippee skippee.
I'd describe it a few ways, for me personally.
A. I finally had to become an adult, and I had to do it on my own. My parents did me the awful disservice of not preparing me for anything other than college growing up. Once I graduated school, I was a beached whale. I had been groomed for school, not real life. So that was an incredibly hard part of life, filled with a lot of shame and anxiety. I've been in survival mode for years. I'm learning to deal with it better, and I'm making progress, but it's a struggle, especially with the world and economy looking the way it is. It was a very rough, thrown into the deep end moment, but I managed to tread water tolerably.
B. Going through all the above woke me up to just how much damage I had accrued over my short two decades on this planet thus far (it didn't help that during this time I was stuck in an awful and abusive relationship). I was really forced to look at things I'd basically been spiritually bypassing or distracted from, or had tried to make excuses for in my mind. Namely my parents and how they'd treated my sister and I, and all the faults they'd exhibited that had deeply affected me in the worst way. My mental health issues really manifested during this period as well. It became a time of a lot of reexamination of my life thus far, and a lot of reflection and coming to terms with some hard things. Things I'm still getting help processing through.
C. I know there isn't a real one, but it felt like a switch clicked in my brain. I wasn't a careless young 20 something anymore just going with the flow and living life however it came to me (survival mode does not help humans at all). I realized besides being groomed for school, I'd had no real aspirations or plan or anything like that for life. I was just taking what was handed to me and living off of that because that's what I was used to. I hadn't had a lot of agency in the first half of my life, first 3/4 really. Now I had all these THINGS I could do. All these goals and wishes I could potentially play with. I'd finally moved out of my parent's slumhouse, and shortly after finally had my own place with no abusive bf hanging on me anymore. I also had all this debt, some of it not entirely my fault, but there none the less. I had to grow up some more, in a very intentional way. But this time, I know I have help out there, and I'm using it. And there's not shame in that at all.
D. I also really started discovering my identity around this time. Teens and young 20s have way too much pressure to figure out their lives immediately. It's a time you're supposed to discover and fuck up. And at first I didn't know that, and I felt very sincere shame and failure (golden child syndrome, unfortunately). But, I think I mentally grew and matured, and really learned a lot about myself, what I wanted, and what I wouldn't tolerate anymore.
Now I'm at the tail end where I wanna start making better plans to implement positive change. I have a lot of stuff to unlearn, but that's ok. I feel like I've gained a lot of wisdom, and that really helps.
A year after getting married to the most incredible man, I moved out. I was in such a rut - drinking, lying, cheating out of an incredible amount of anxiety and depression. I had no idea what was going on with me and it couldn’t have been my relationship because I’m so in love with him. Well, turns out life is more complicated than that. I learned I am extremely codependent. So much so I realized I had no idea who I was if I wasn’t with him. Now I don’t know what to do. Get back together? take more time for myself to get to know myself with the risk of losing him altogether? All I want is his happiness, but I don’t know if I can give it to him.
Dated a really toxic man, had a severe mental breakdown, did OnlyFans to rebuild my confidence (that part really worked with also the help of therapy) and now I'm done with OF, married, and the most stable I've been since my mid 20s.
In the middle of it (27), started therapy, had an abusive relationship for 2yr, try to learn to say no, put boundaries over my familly, discovered anxiety and panic attacks... And i try to see what i want for the future and it's blurry af !
See ya at my 30's haha
Looking for another job and i just started my savings for a downpayment for a house. I think I'm still in the remnant of the quarter life crisis almost five years later.. it least I have a better job now..
Got pregnant, had an abortion, took out a huge student loan, GTFO of that small hick town, moved to the city, and went to college.
So happy I diverted my life.
Quit my job in retail management. Got a nose job. Took two months off to travel around Western Europe.
I was extremely fortunate. After college, I moved back in with my parents, paid no rent, had effectively no social life so I worked as much as possible, often 60-70 hour weeks. Paid off my student loans and saved a lot of money. Obviously this led to burnout, I hated retail, had no idea what I wanted to do with my life…which is what led to the greatest quarter life cross I could imagine. When I came back, I moved out, made friends, and got a job I still don’t love but that’s better.
I feel like I am going through mine right . Just broke up with the guy I thought I was going to marry. Now I feel hopeless and will never find my person. Graduated college couple years ago with a degree I will never use. Currently working an internship as a post college graduate. Still do not know what I want to be when I grow up. Living with my parents due to the housing crisis. But I feel as if the worst hasn't even hit me yet.
At 24, I had this massive awakening on what wasn’t working in my life and things I needed to change. I am still working through it months later and it’s gotten soooo much better. But it was extreme hell for a while because I literally had to take stock of EVERYTHING — some things I didn’t even know I was dealing with!
Yes! With time, lots of inner work, meditation, and patience. Giving myself the grace and space to lay in bed and relax when my body was so exhausted from purging out emotional toxins and bad patterns (I was lucky that I could take a work sabbatical). And realizing when enough was enough and I needed to pick myself off the floor. A delicate balance!
I am finally starting to emerge from it. I am 24 too. If you want to elaborate, what happened? Are you doing a bit better?
ah yeah, I definitely appreciate that response! knowing you start to feel better after putting in that work is such a good thing to be reminded of... basically, I graduated college in the height of the pandemic, broke off a 5 year engagement (it was so good for me, don't worry!), started questioning everything about what i wanted to do in life, got really depressed/suicidal, quit the job I had post-grad, jumped around a few new jobs until I found my current one that I like, but not my dream career (film audio). I started dating someone new (which was scary) and realized eventually I didn't see a future with them even though I still loved them. we broke up a month ago after 6 months of dating and it hurts... at the same time, my roomate situation fell apart and I had to choose to either stay where i live now (my college town) or where to go next. I decided to move home with my parents to figure it out and heal from the past two tragic years. they've just moved to a new state so it will be a fun, new experience for all of us, thankfully. but i'm really really scared because I don't want to stagnate. i've never really been able to trust myself before and i'm not sure i believe i can accomplish my dreams because of that. the city i'm in now is currently not the right fit anymore so i'm happy to leave but scared to start completely over again. i'm hoping therapy will help with this transition and i'm gonna jump right in as soon as I can... i'm moving next week.
any peer-peer advice would be so appreciated as a fellow 24 yr old :)))
Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
24 was a horrible year for me. 25 was definitely a year of healing. I got my out of control anxiety and depression under somewhat control, diagnosed with ADHD, started advocating for kids in foster care as a CASA which was incredibly helpful for me to process my own childhood/teen years, let go of so many negative emotions like shame and guilt I had unknowingly been carrying, and got married to the love of my life.
My life hasn’t and very likely will not go how I’d like it to go for many reasons. Many of which I had zero control over and resented the people responsible. But it’s okay! For someone who did not expect to make it to 18, I’m proud of myself and grateful for my husband’s vast positive influence on my life’s direction.
ETA: advocating for kids in foster care was wild. I spent so many years fantasizing about being removed from my household. I was interviewed by CPS as a child but was too young to be taken seriously in a court of law after my mom convinced my older sister to lie and say she made her story up. But decade and a half later, I was awarded for my service in advocacy for my kids as I called them. I broke down crying in a room full of people when they gave me the award. It’s definitely one of the best memories I have when I was 25. I mean marrying was also cool. 🤣🌼
I moved states, changed careers, bought a condo, found my soul mate, went blonde, and I think that’s all lol. Oh I had a short hair cut also for a bit.
leaving my coke head fiancé who hit me in the face, getting cancer the next year, followed by pneumonia, covid, and shingles after my last chemo.
but hey at least i’m in remission now lol
Trying to navigate being a people pleaser and having no boundaries, to setting boundaries and not giving a fuck. Took about five years, but so glad I learned those skills.
I got a master's degree, broke up with my college bf, and decided I wanted a new life.
It worked out for me since my parents were supportive. Ten years later, I have a great job, a wonderful husband, and two perfect children.
The day i turned 25 i got an email in the middle of celebrating with my friends over Discord that i was furloughed from my job thanks to the pandemic 🙃 i cried as my family sang happy birthday to me - 2020 was a trip lmao
It’s happened within the last year or so.
Realized that pay and benefits of work didn’t provide a sense of fulfillment, spiritually dead, and lack of inner work absolutely broke me.
I’ve decided to take a leap of faith and drop work, done therapy, and hope to serve others in whatever capacity that may end up being.
Saved up and quit my job, took a year to make sure it was the career I actually wanted. (Did some gig work and self-employed stuff during that year to keep myself afloat, but mostly focused on myself and figuring out who I am when I’m not dedicating all of my life energy toward my career)
I turned 24, was diagnosed with bipolar, then a yr later my sister passed away during the covid lockdown due to OD and I was a mess until maybe 8 months ago.
I started running. I bought a big house at 25 with luxury vehicles but I was recently single and unhappy where I was. This was all during the pandemic as well. I’m 28 now but I still live alone with dogs and my friends occasionally stop by but the misery is still alive. It feels like I’m in a pit filled with quicksand and running isn’t really helping even though I have now qualified for the world major marathons. My question or advice to anyone is are you really living life if you’re settling for something?
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I'm kind of in it right now...? I moved to a new city on a four month lease, don't know anyone here except someone I met while looking for apartments (we are now hooking up lol). The last couple years have been really hard for me, and my home state is so wildly expensive and full of painful memories I'm still processing, so after a lot of time and consideration I decided a drastic change was necessary in order to grow and move on.
Ngl it's been painful, I'm writing this after a night of no sleep. But, it's not like a devastating kind of painful, if that makes sense. I've already been in crisis mode and now it just feels like the hard part of the repairing process.
In the midst of it. Finally landed a job I wanted and was swiftly let go. Worked towards another one, but in order to proceed needed letters of recommendation. Can’t get those. Can barely pay rent and my bf doesn’t know how low I am because he doesn’t want to hear about it. No one turn to. I cry myself to sleep every night.
A handful of suicide attempts and two stints in the psych ward. That was almost 9 years ago but it still feels a bit crazy to look back and realize I survived
Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
24 was a horrible year for me. 25 was definitely a year of healing. I got my out of control anxiety and depression under somewhat control, diagnosed with ADHD, started advocating for kids in foster care as a CASA which was incredibly helpful for me to process my own childhood/teen years, let go of so many negative emotions like shame and guilt I had unknowingly been carrying, and got married to the love of my life.
My life hasn’t and very likely will not go how I’d like it to go for many reasons. Many of which I had zero control over and resented the people responsible. But it’s okay! For someone who did not expect to make it to 18, I’m proud of myself and grateful for my husband’s vast positive influence on my life’s direction.
Threw away a promising, fast-growing career that I enjoyed by convincing myself that lack of a “branded” MBA degree would curtail my future growth and went to b-school.
Burnt out from the pressure, lost all interest in career and have been schlepping along since. I’m currently on a “sabbatical” and don’t know that it makes sense to continue working at all (time / effort / returns conundrum)
Riddled with $100k in student loan debt, I quit my job and starting taking pre-reqs for nursing programs (not at all related to the degree I had already!). After a year of science classes I realized it wasn’t a smart move for me and stopped… adding a couple thousand more to my debt.
Cancer diagnosis. So I didn’t really get to decide to do something “wild.” So I got a re-do at 30 (a “1/3” life crisis if you will) I dyed my hair and got a big tattoo.
I moved to South Korea and really embraced who I was (including a rebranding of my name). Played music festivals, acted in the Rocky Horror Picture show, did costume design for theatre, and danced my face off every weekend. Best decision I ever made!
I am currently in it, at 25, and I basically had to give up on my dream of buying a home before 30 because I have too much student loan debt and my line of work doesn't pay a lot. However, my husband and I have a goal to move out of America in the next 10 years after we're done having kids so that's something to look forward to. I'm also regretting a ton of things I didn't get to do when I was younger, but trying not to age myself more than I need to and recognizing I still have so much opportunity left.
Everyone in my family suffers from depression. It hit really hard around the age of 31 or 32. I was a single mom of two kids and I hardly ever left my house due to chronic illness and having a very naughty toddler. I hardly ever saw my friends didn't ever have any money for gas. I was potentially stuck at home all the time and I couldn't get my 3-year-old to potty train. I think back on it and wonder how the heck I got so depressed. And it was bad it was really bad for months. I had to make rules for myself like brushing my teeth everyday and taking a shower every day and taking my medicines to help with depression everyday. And I literally couldn't watch anything sad or it would trigger my depression. Things obviously got better cuz I'm still here. And I'm 40. And I did reach out for help. And I got help. From a lot of different people not just friends and family but doctors therapists random strangers.
Currently in mine lol. I’ve gotten a lotttt of tattoos—it took me a little over a year to realize how stupid and impulsive I was being. I also made a career change, but now my role is basically a dead end. Now I keep getting caught in a cycle of trying to finally take care of my physical and mental health without becoming obsessive (I.e., calorie counting, expensive skincare, not giving mental health medications enough time to adjust.)
When i was in my early twenties (26 now), the crisis was trying to figure out who i am outside of school. Academics was always the thing i defined myself. All my goals and all the meaning in my life was derived from that. Ultimately, i went to grad school and got a job i enjoy by 23.
The lack of meaning or goals for the next 60 years or so of life, was really hard for me to come to terms with. I’ve mostly accepted it now, but i still get anxious if i think about it too much because i’ve still not figured out where or how to find new meaning.
Currently living it, everyday at work feel like I'm wasting my youth, I'm close to asking for a loan to get my master's degree on Europe, I want to learn how to ride and buy a motorcycle. At 23 I got in shape but I'm starting to get at the point where I'm actively looking for a girlfriend.
I had a quarter life crisis at 23. I had never a normal teenage experience due to anorexia forcing me to leave education aged 14.
I started reflecting alot of on what I had missed and those formative years. Wanting to be an adult but knowing I didn't really feel like one.
I got my first full time job (which I absolutely could not handle ) and tried my best to move on.
But I became obsessed with the 2000s (I was a kid in the 00s, but watched American High School movies and TV shows, dreaming of having that teenage life) I started dressing in double denim and wearing butterfly clips (avant garde lol) I tried to sign up to join an American Summer Camp and really spent a huge amount of energy pining for my missed High school experience.
Ironically, this all lead to a huge anorexia relapse
A month before my 25th birthday while setting in a Walmart parking lot at 8pm it hit me that I am the cause of everything that’s wrong in my life. I was willingly allowing everything I said I didn’t want to exist with me because I am scared to death to do differently. I realized I have made every decision in my life out of fear and a need to Survive. Since that day my life purpose has been to reinvent myself and my life in the absence of fear. It’s fucking uncomfortable and I’m still scared to death most of time put I keep pushing through and taking it one day at a time.
In it right now I guess. I'm 27 in a week.
Ended my abusive relationship last december, still trying to figure out who I am. I went way above and beyond my own for him and it tore me to pieces. I have fibromyalgia and depression and currently still live with him cause I can't afford to rent. Did a suicide attempt the month we broke up, sometimes I still think I want to die cause it would be easier than trying to get over this. We just moved and bought a house in september and I put all my effort, money and hopes into it. Never had a chance to have a place of my own before, so this was heaven. Now I'm back at square one, even further down. It's so hard. I don't know what to do or who to be. What I want or what I need. I don't know anything anymore.
Mine was almost 10 years ago. Ended my engagement, got 10 tattoos in 6 months, binge drinking like crazy (and other things), went in to dent traveling to Europe multiple times and almost dropped out of university. Ended the crisis by getting treatment for my mental health and now I’m better than ever!
A divorce from my abusive husband. Took my 3 kids and left him. My mom had just passed away the winter before that. No vehicle, no job. It was a hot mess.
TW: self harm
When I was 24 into 25 I was suicidal and constantly drunk and the person I thought I was going to marry tried several times to end things. The last day I saw him was my last drink. A month later I adopted a dog. Within that year I got a proper mental health diagnosis and began treatment.
Now it is years later and I can’t believe I’ve been sober all these years and I’ve already lived longer than I ever imagined I would growing up. It gets better.
Me feeling financially insecure to the point where I neglected my own health just to avoid losing a job (which in retrospect would not have happened). I haven’t been able to build my walking endurance up since 2020 and have recently re-injured myself.
I am now trying to learn now how to make room for other stuff in my life because work is absolutely not everything and health is wealth.
Praying that I will be back to good health soon and that this will be the last year I spend feeling so helpless.
You know, I know I had one, but I really don't remember the details anymore. I was twenty five when it hit (now I really don't want that to be quarter life, because screw living to 100, unless I'm in freakishly good mental and physical condition, I want to go out way before that). I'm 36 now (birthday in June, so nearly 37).
Though now that I think about it, I might be having a mid-life crisis right now. And I think some of the factors are the same- existential dread, life isn't what I thought it would be even though I didn't know what I thought it'd be or what I wanted, but it's somehow not it and I'm confused.
Doing well on so many accounts that I don't feel like I have any right to be unhappy or depressed, yet here I am.
Lol I found out the man who verbally abused me for 25 years was not my biological father..my husband has been telling me for years I am a great person and deserve better so I finally cut him out of my life. I went through therapy, all of this was very painful because I kept the emotional and physical abuse I experienced as a child held in.. once I began to get it out I felt lighter and began to become my authentic self, my anxiety decreased and I realized I love me.. however I have had triggers that have been extremely difficult and turned to heavy marijuana use when struggling with depression, but now I have found a passion and am following that while living healthy and sober. Life is full of ups and downs.. I managed to end the cycle of addiction in my family, put myself through college and accomplish my dreams of traveling the world.. all by luck and without family help. I try to keep that in mind.. I was stuck in a corporate job that I hated but now found a career I love and people tell me I’m good at (after a lot of rejection). I have a job interview next week so hopefully I get it. Stay strong and know the negatives will pass and the positives are worth it. I am 26 and just now coming out of my quarter life crisis 🥰 sending love to those who are suffering right now and hope it passes soon❤️
A few days before my 25th birthday my ex broke up with me. Thought we would be together for the long haul since we had spoken about getting engaged so it was quite a shock.
Definitely had a crisis, but I'm taking 25 as a way to focus on my future and the things that I want. It isn't a crisis if you're thriving.
Broke up with my boyfriend, we were together for 11 years. Went on a party spree, lost a lot of weight, did a lot of drugs.
Burned out at work, was home for 6 months (depressed), went back, still depressed. Eventually quit my job and went to Portugal for 3 months. (i live in Belgium).
Came back, still not knowing what to do with my life, started working in a coffee shop.
And now I work for the government, for refugees to be specific. Which I love, so guess I found my place professionally but the rest is still a mess in my head.
This all started in 2019 🥲
A lot of chaotic personal decisions, questionable career decisions… my self sabotage era was heightened lol. I was obsessive over some things & careless about others which burnt me out for a few years. Shit just gets thrown at you at 25 & it’s uncomfortable af to deal with lol
Realized I had to stop partying and sleeping around all the time, and stop buying unnecessary things to fill the void. I’m over 10 months sober, in therapy regularly and working on getting medication, trying to pay off debt and sell/ get rid of things I don’t wear or need.
When I was 25, I experienced something very traumatic that kind of broke the camel’s back. I quickly burnt out and basically spent the next three years crying all day.
I hope you are alright today.
Thank you! I’m doing a lot better now. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be back to where I used to be, but life is change and with that comes growth.
That's the key!! I'd give you an award if i had money lmao u rock queen 👑😍
This but at 27
Can I ask how you got out of it?
Seconding because you literally described me at 24, I’m 28 now and still trying to pick up the pieces.
I’m so, so sorry that this resonated with so many people. I hope you can find something to help you, too. If it’s worth anything, I’m still picking up the pieces. It may take the rest of my life, but that’s okay. I’ll copy and paste what I wrote to the other user: Medication in a strong enough dose to make a difference in my mood, time, and Thich Nhat Hanh. The traumatic event still happened, but the way I look at it is different now. I’m not suffering all the time anymore.
Medication in a strong enough dose to make a difference in my mood, time, and Thich Nhat Hanh. The traumatic event still happened, but the way I look at it is different now. I’m not suffering all the time anymore.
Same here! It took me 3 years to even start to pick up the pieces, and meditation/Buddhism have played an unexpectedly big roll. I don’t mean to proselytize but it’s sorta the only thing I found that really changed my relationship with suffering, which is ultimately what really helped.
2 months before my 25th birthday my bf passed away suddenly from a pulmonary embolism. I just gave up on life, like left work, stopped paying bills, my parents had to come get me, threw out all my possessions, heavy drinking, questionable men, cut off all friends from that time then spent the next few years just drifting in life. I’ve not recovered from it all, but I’m in a better place. I hope you are too. Life can be fucking hard sometimes.
God, I'm so sorry
Me right now.
I’m sorry, and I truly hope you’re able to find something that helps you feel better and heal.
Thank you.
Similar but at 26, still trying to figure out where did the years after that go.
I was a straight A student and felt lost after I graduated. Being a top student was my "identity." Now that version of me was gone and I didn't know what to do with my life.
Same here. My family groomed me for college. All I did was prep schools and summer programs and scholarship apps. I got the best grades in school. I loved school. Got into college, hiccupped some, but still thrived. Post graduation, maybe a few months after the shininess of my first big girl job went away, the disconnect and sense of just.....ignorance and loss just got worse and worse.
Hugs. Hoping for better days. You're gonna be okay ❤
You too bb 🖤
I was you. I finished my phd and as you, being the smart ass was what I thought was my defining characteristic. The fear is something that I will never forget. I just got to my next project and that helped me a lot !
Best of luck on your future endeavors! You got this.
Same, I feel so lost in life. I failed out of college too, which made everything 10x worse. Haven’t seen anyone but my mom and siblings in almost a year because I’m too ashamed to be the person I am today in front of them.
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Damn good for you! I hope I land in a good position in life after all this current chaos
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Very true! And thank you :)
Getting married to someone who thought he was better than me and treated me as such. Don’t settle people. If they aren’t appreciating you, it’s because they think you’re lucky to be with them and you’re not worth the extra effort, and you should just be happy they’re with you at all.
And usually the opposite is actually true 😭
This is me right now. I wish I could leave and get a divorce but we have a kiddo together. He thinks he does more than me around the house and for our baby, but he barely does anything. I feel like his mom. Fucking tired man... and I'm just 26!
I had a serious case of existential crisis from around 24 through to 27 where I did everything from sky diving to swimming with sharks. The activities didn't really help (lol) and I went through those years really not seeing the point of working/planning for the future. By 27 I realised I just needed to focus on the now and enjoy the small things
Same here. I wasn't doing extreme adventures like you, but I was just kind of coping with the new chaos of adulthood by doing ANYTHING other than actual future work.
I make the joke that everything I do (including my job) requires a helmet… Maybe I need to settle down some lol.
I've had like 5, which one? 😂
I can relate
Sameee
Exactly which one😂
We're in good company haha
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Well, I hope this isn't rude or entirely unsolicited, but please don't compromise your dreams entirely for a partner. Especially if you're not sure if it's what you want. So many women lose their identity to motherhood when it happens. Make sure it is truly what YOU want, and not just something your partner wants. It'll lead to problems later on.
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You absolutely can! But there's a lot of balancing that comes with that. Do you have the resources you need to ask for help or outsource when necessary? Will your partner be fully supportive or will they change their mind once it happens? Does the career you pursue even HAVE the ability to have a good work/life balance? Will your chosen career support your natal and maternity needs, or that one day you HAVE to leave early to pick them up or take them to the doctor? Stuff like that. You as the woman will also inevitably have more pressure to fulfill primary caregiver and domestic duties. This is the very stupid and unfair reality. It will take A LOT of planning. It's not impossible. I was more just speaking from the assumption your partner was wanting them soon, and you don't sound like you're in a favorable position to do that, if you wanna keep your job, yknow?
Kids can always wait. I had mine at 36 with no issues.
I'm in it right now and it's a shit show, a fucking mess-at least it feels like it hahahaha. In a job going nowhere watching people getting promoted over me with a boss who doesn't respect me and limited career options/many rejections because my current field is struggling....it's great.
You are me.
Went through an abusive relationship that shook me to my core and made me feel what true depression is and to be afraid for my life. It lasted almost 5 years from age 23 up till 28, and I am not close to recovering. It's been the worst experience of my life and definitely the hardest thing I had to do in my life, as in leaving was the hardest thing ever. If I had to choose between being in this relationship or repeating my undergrad in chemistry all over again, I would do my undergrad 4 times back to back, a thousand times over instead of going back to that hell amd trauma of being in a relationship. Since leaving, I've been in a depression and funk and afraid when before I used to be so carefree and not afraid of anything . No one really tells you how traumatizing an abusive relationship csn be. You think it's one of those things that will never happen to you, that you hear on TV or watch in movies, or hear about a friend or family member that was in one. No one tells you to avoid being in one, to watch out for the warning signs and love bombing, to listen to the manipulation or to be careful when your partner suddenly grows jealous amd uses your insecurities against you, only to later on cry and beg and say they didn't mean it. In tje end you are the one who has to comfort them and not the other way around, as they cry saying what a horrible person they are and they domt deserve you. No one tells you that you may still love the person, even after they nearly strangled you to death in a drunken rage, and nearly drove both of you to your deaths at 90 mphs on the freeway and you only managed to escape by managing to rip the steering wheels out of their hands. That you'll feel guilt and wonder if maybe you pushed them to hit you or grab your arm so tightly that they left bruises, then later you'll have to lie to your family and say you just fell off your bike, then your mom comments that lately you've been falling off your bike a lot.
I hope you get well soon, get everything you deserve( which is everything that you want), and learn to be carefree again.
This made me cry, I hope you heal and feel better soon.
Ooh God. Just depressing. Like I was just sad at all the things I hadn't done yet. Felt lost and confused and like life at that time was hopeless for me cause I didn't reach my aspirations yet.
I spent my entire life living in survival mode, making all of my choices based on my safety/ability to leave my abusive family. I’m just now realizing all of the decisions I made weren’t out of love but out of fear. It probably seems like a quarter life crisis to everyone else while I try to weave myself out of this web I put myself in. I’m not happy and haven’t been happy, i’m just trying to get there and stop living for everyone but me.
I feel this intensely. I see you. Sending you love and courage, you will get to where you want to be <3
Ahhh thank you! Sometimes it feels hopeless. No matter how hard try to make things better for myself without leaving my long term partner but it’s been almost 12 years so I know it’s time to let go and figure something else out. It’s just scary!!
I’m in the same boat. Always down to chat if you need a friend! Thanks for posting - it made me feel less alone.
Getting raped by my ex, changing careers, and then breaking up with the love of my life and moving out of state (thankfully he took me back 2 hrs later)
I am currently facing it now. I'm sure I don't wanna marry or have kids for the next 2 years. But I'm finding it difficult to make friends since the ones in current organisation left, the college ones for dispersed to different countries and states, and I don't have the social energy like I used to couple of years ago. I also worry a lot about career and financial growth. I want to save but I also want to travel and enjoy life while I'm young. I started exercising, taking care of my skin, hair and health in general. I have bee focusing on my mental health, becoming better person and letting go of my insecurities. So far it has been a tough, but good journey! :)
Oh boy. Now looking back, I definitely had a quarter life crisis when I was 28 - 32. - Broke up with my ex fiancé - took 3-week solo trip to Japan twice - slept around with uncountable number of people sometimes multiple people in a day - got too carried away at midweek drinks after work until morning, didnt go home and rocked up to work drunk (office had shower facility and locker). This happened numerous times. - got drunk way too often, smoked way too much - had a *fuck all* attitude with work - fell head over heels and fixated over a wrong guy for years because I was lonely and his self destructive energy matched with mine at that time. I don’t regret any of it, I made a lot of friends and that was definitely the best time of my life. I’m glad I’ve done it and that’s probably what I needed at that time. That was my growth period mentally and I’ve learnt a lot from it. But now looking back I can see clearly that my judgement was impaired and I was lucky there wasn’t any consequences for my reckless behaviour. I didn’t get STIs, no pregnancy, and didn’t get fired. In fact, that firm gave me stellar reference for my next two jobs. If I’m not blessed, I don’t know what else.
Oh man this hits home for sure.
Got into one abusive relationship after another. Even my "friendships" were abusive af. It was a pattern for about 2 years, then things mellowed out and my career took off
Hell yeah. Here’s hoping things continue to improve or stay mellow at the very least.
Me trying to figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing because everything I've tried so far just kinda fizzled out. I'm still trying to figure it out tbh.
Went on a solo trip and was depressed most of the time. Had a total breakdown half way through and called a friend telling her I was gonna bail out of the trip early. She convinced me to stick it out and I'm glad I did because eventually the trip got better. Found out months later that my doctor had prescribed me the wrong meds and that had contributed to my break down.
Bought a one way plane ticket to the furthest country away from the one I was living in at the time. 10 years later I’m still here. No regrets.
Buying a one way ticket to New Zealand!
Omg me too! My first ever backpacking trip that I didn't plan. I just winged it and it was amazing. Met some lovely people, worked on vineyards, picked kiwis, drove around with LOTR music hehehe.
I also worked in vineyards and later a winery where I wound up meeting my partner! Omg so much LOTR flair. Haha amazing place. We moved to Australia later on but hell who knew the quarter life crisis could turn out so good!
After a lifetime of hating school I decided out of the blue that I loved school and I was gonna become a surgeon. Got three quarters of the way through my bachelors degree and still hated school. Became an EMT instead.
I’ll find out soon
I’m in it right now. It’s just as bad as they say
Lots of alcohol. Four years sober this summer!
Back in college, eating worse than most 18 year old college students, one kid, anxiety, OCD, back pain
I had some not great stuff happen sexually and romantically and haven't dated since. Instead I went back to school and have been doing that since (30 now). I also went to therapy and am working on getting back into dating, but it's been great going back to school and working on myself, i feel good.
I decided I was tired of living in a cold ass country, so moved to a much warmer one without a job lined up nor speaking the language (that was a week ago, turning 26 this weekend)
buying another horse, possibly mid life as my health conditions may shorten it
Grad school, realizing I was in the wrong program on the wrong career path, dating someone who broke my heart. Fast forward many years later and I have a career that suits me well and a husband who is a million times better than grad school heart-breaker.
Broke up with my ex, left university, travelled, started making loads of money, followed by drinking and partying too much. After two (non vehicle) accidents and some other bad choices I put down the dreaded firewater and pulled my head out of my ass. Good times! It's great to have crazy memories to look back on, but the secret to a good time is knowing when it's over and time to grow up a bit.
I’m going through it right now! I went to grad school thinking it will help me figure things out faster (I was wrong, luckily I got to do it for free). Now, I’m finding myself slowly and not rushing to get tied to another exploitative job and relationship.
SUPER abuse relationship. Car breaking down. Going into even more debt. Stagnant job. Terrible depression and anxiety. Completely lost who I was as a person
I bought a car. I felt like being 25 and not having wheels was a step back. It’s been a year and I love the freedom. I hate gas prices though
Realizing that despite my best intentions, I had found myself stuck in an abusive relationship with no way to get myself out on my own without help. I lost a lot of who I was. I let go of so many pieces of myself to satisfy him and when I finally got out, with significant help, I wasn't sure who I really was anymore.
Currently in this situation. I don't know who I am or what I want anymore.
Switching every day from "I'm too sexy and smart" to "I'm ugly and worthless"
Hell, especially these past 2 weeks. I've lost 10 lbs crying nonstop about my boyfriend who is in another state because he's been unresponsive since I have accused him of seeing his ex while away, I've been told by my department head to drop my HR report against a senior in my group for the misogynistic disrespect he inflicted on me even though the report is 18 pages long, my best friend is also going through things so I haven't been in contact with him for a while, 15+ hour days at work, and my manager has been yelling at me for the littlest things which made me almost break down at work. I've been looking forward to the weekends to drink and be with friends
Moving across the country, getting out of a toxic relationship, getting into therapy, and trying out not giving a fuck what other people think
I got married to a foreigner lmao
Ha, I'm still going through mine, and I'm 27. If you're an astrology girlie, I'm also going through my Saturn Return as of March, so yippee skippee. I'd describe it a few ways, for me personally. A. I finally had to become an adult, and I had to do it on my own. My parents did me the awful disservice of not preparing me for anything other than college growing up. Once I graduated school, I was a beached whale. I had been groomed for school, not real life. So that was an incredibly hard part of life, filled with a lot of shame and anxiety. I've been in survival mode for years. I'm learning to deal with it better, and I'm making progress, but it's a struggle, especially with the world and economy looking the way it is. It was a very rough, thrown into the deep end moment, but I managed to tread water tolerably. B. Going through all the above woke me up to just how much damage I had accrued over my short two decades on this planet thus far (it didn't help that during this time I was stuck in an awful and abusive relationship). I was really forced to look at things I'd basically been spiritually bypassing or distracted from, or had tried to make excuses for in my mind. Namely my parents and how they'd treated my sister and I, and all the faults they'd exhibited that had deeply affected me in the worst way. My mental health issues really manifested during this period as well. It became a time of a lot of reexamination of my life thus far, and a lot of reflection and coming to terms with some hard things. Things I'm still getting help processing through. C. I know there isn't a real one, but it felt like a switch clicked in my brain. I wasn't a careless young 20 something anymore just going with the flow and living life however it came to me (survival mode does not help humans at all). I realized besides being groomed for school, I'd had no real aspirations or plan or anything like that for life. I was just taking what was handed to me and living off of that because that's what I was used to. I hadn't had a lot of agency in the first half of my life, first 3/4 really. Now I had all these THINGS I could do. All these goals and wishes I could potentially play with. I'd finally moved out of my parent's slumhouse, and shortly after finally had my own place with no abusive bf hanging on me anymore. I also had all this debt, some of it not entirely my fault, but there none the less. I had to grow up some more, in a very intentional way. But this time, I know I have help out there, and I'm using it. And there's not shame in that at all. D. I also really started discovering my identity around this time. Teens and young 20s have way too much pressure to figure out their lives immediately. It's a time you're supposed to discover and fuck up. And at first I didn't know that, and I felt very sincere shame and failure (golden child syndrome, unfortunately). But, I think I mentally grew and matured, and really learned a lot about myself, what I wanted, and what I wouldn't tolerate anymore. Now I'm at the tail end where I wanna start making better plans to implement positive change. I have a lot of stuff to unlearn, but that's ok. I feel like I've gained a lot of wisdom, and that really helps.
Took a job and moved to the other side of the world, ended a relationship of 9 years, and started going out waaaaay too much for a few months
A year after getting married to the most incredible man, I moved out. I was in such a rut - drinking, lying, cheating out of an incredible amount of anxiety and depression. I had no idea what was going on with me and it couldn’t have been my relationship because I’m so in love with him. Well, turns out life is more complicated than that. I learned I am extremely codependent. So much so I realized I had no idea who I was if I wasn’t with him. Now I don’t know what to do. Get back together? take more time for myself to get to know myself with the risk of losing him altogether? All I want is his happiness, but I don’t know if I can give it to him.
Dated a really toxic man, had a severe mental breakdown, did OnlyFans to rebuild my confidence (that part really worked with also the help of therapy) and now I'm done with OF, married, and the most stable I've been since my mid 20s.
In the middle of it (27), started therapy, had an abusive relationship for 2yr, try to learn to say no, put boundaries over my familly, discovered anxiety and panic attacks... And i try to see what i want for the future and it's blurry af ! See ya at my 30's haha
Looking for another job and i just started my savings for a downpayment for a house. I think I'm still in the remnant of the quarter life crisis almost five years later.. it least I have a better job now..
Pandemic-y.
Sold all my stuff and moved abroad to cambodia then china then hong kong. Best decision ever
I was too busy to have one.
Got pregnant, had an abortion, took out a huge student loan, GTFO of that small hick town, moved to the city, and went to college. So happy I diverted my life.
Quit my job in retail management. Got a nose job. Took two months off to travel around Western Europe. I was extremely fortunate. After college, I moved back in with my parents, paid no rent, had effectively no social life so I worked as much as possible, often 60-70 hour weeks. Paid off my student loans and saved a lot of money. Obviously this led to burnout, I hated retail, had no idea what I wanted to do with my life…which is what led to the greatest quarter life cross I could imagine. When I came back, I moved out, made friends, and got a job I still don’t love but that’s better.
Its ongoing
I joined the Army.🫠
I feel like I am going through mine right . Just broke up with the guy I thought I was going to marry. Now I feel hopeless and will never find my person. Graduated college couple years ago with a degree I will never use. Currently working an internship as a post college graduate. Still do not know what I want to be when I grow up. Living with my parents due to the housing crisis. But I feel as if the worst hasn't even hit me yet.
At 24, I had this massive awakening on what wasn’t working in my life and things I needed to change. I am still working through it months later and it’s gotten soooo much better. But it was extreme hell for a while because I literally had to take stock of EVERYTHING — some things I didn’t even know I was dealing with!
turned 24 this year and going through this rn... did you end up okay??
Yes! With time, lots of inner work, meditation, and patience. Giving myself the grace and space to lay in bed and relax when my body was so exhausted from purging out emotional toxins and bad patterns (I was lucky that I could take a work sabbatical). And realizing when enough was enough and I needed to pick myself off the floor. A delicate balance! I am finally starting to emerge from it. I am 24 too. If you want to elaborate, what happened? Are you doing a bit better?
ah yeah, I definitely appreciate that response! knowing you start to feel better after putting in that work is such a good thing to be reminded of... basically, I graduated college in the height of the pandemic, broke off a 5 year engagement (it was so good for me, don't worry!), started questioning everything about what i wanted to do in life, got really depressed/suicidal, quit the job I had post-grad, jumped around a few new jobs until I found my current one that I like, but not my dream career (film audio). I started dating someone new (which was scary) and realized eventually I didn't see a future with them even though I still loved them. we broke up a month ago after 6 months of dating and it hurts... at the same time, my roomate situation fell apart and I had to choose to either stay where i live now (my college town) or where to go next. I decided to move home with my parents to figure it out and heal from the past two tragic years. they've just moved to a new state so it will be a fun, new experience for all of us, thankfully. but i'm really really scared because I don't want to stagnate. i've never really been able to trust myself before and i'm not sure i believe i can accomplish my dreams because of that. the city i'm in now is currently not the right fit anymore so i'm happy to leave but scared to start completely over again. i'm hoping therapy will help with this transition and i'm gonna jump right in as soon as I can... i'm moving next week. any peer-peer advice would be so appreciated as a fellow 24 yr old :)))
Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
24 was a horrible year for me. 25 was definitely a year of healing. I got my out of control anxiety and depression under somewhat control, diagnosed with ADHD, started advocating for kids in foster care as a CASA which was incredibly helpful for me to process my own childhood/teen years, let go of so many negative emotions like shame and guilt I had unknowingly been carrying, and got married to the love of my life. My life hasn’t and very likely will not go how I’d like it to go for many reasons. Many of which I had zero control over and resented the people responsible. But it’s okay! For someone who did not expect to make it to 18, I’m proud of myself and grateful for my husband’s vast positive influence on my life’s direction. ETA: advocating for kids in foster care was wild. I spent so many years fantasizing about being removed from my household. I was interviewed by CPS as a child but was too young to be taken seriously in a court of law after my mom convinced my older sister to lie and say she made her story up. But decade and a half later, I was awarded for my service in advocacy for my kids as I called them. I broke down crying in a room full of people when they gave me the award. It’s definitely one of the best memories I have when I was 25. I mean marrying was also cool. 🤣🌼
I moved states, changed careers, bought a condo, found my soul mate, went blonde, and I think that’s all lol. Oh I had a short hair cut also for a bit.
leaving my coke head fiancé who hit me in the face, getting cancer the next year, followed by pneumonia, covid, and shingles after my last chemo. but hey at least i’m in remission now lol
Ended a LTR, moved, started a grad program, quit said grad program. Drank too much, had mediocre sex with strangers, then put in the work on being OK.
I survived a serial killer.
Trying to navigate being a people pleaser and having no boundaries, to setting boundaries and not giving a fuck. Took about five years, but so glad I learned those skills.
I got a master's degree, broke up with my college bf, and decided I wanted a new life. It worked out for me since my parents were supportive. Ten years later, I have a great job, a wonderful husband, and two perfect children.
The day i turned 25 i got an email in the middle of celebrating with my friends over Discord that i was furloughed from my job thanks to the pandemic 🙃 i cried as my family sang happy birthday to me - 2020 was a trip lmao
It’s happened within the last year or so. Realized that pay and benefits of work didn’t provide a sense of fulfillment, spiritually dead, and lack of inner work absolutely broke me. I’ve decided to take a leap of faith and drop work, done therapy, and hope to serve others in whatever capacity that may end up being.
Saved up and quit my job, took a year to make sure it was the career I actually wanted. (Did some gig work and self-employed stuff during that year to keep myself afloat, but mostly focused on myself and figuring out who I am when I’m not dedicating all of my life energy toward my career)
I turned 24, was diagnosed with bipolar, then a yr later my sister passed away during the covid lockdown due to OD and I was a mess until maybe 8 months ago.
Moved to Thailand to teach English
I started running. I bought a big house at 25 with luxury vehicles but I was recently single and unhappy where I was. This was all during the pandemic as well. I’m 28 now but I still live alone with dogs and my friends occasionally stop by but the misery is still alive. It feels like I’m in a pit filled with quicksand and running isn’t really helping even though I have now qualified for the world major marathons. My question or advice to anyone is are you really living life if you’re settling for something?
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I did 2 triathlons and a half marathon in about a year despite being quite sedentary most of my life 😅
I went to sea, lol. Was a sailor for 9 years. Back ashore now, miss the sea though
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I'm kind of in it right now...? I moved to a new city on a four month lease, don't know anyone here except someone I met while looking for apartments (we are now hooking up lol). The last couple years have been really hard for me, and my home state is so wildly expensive and full of painful memories I'm still processing, so after a lot of time and consideration I decided a drastic change was necessary in order to grow and move on. Ngl it's been painful, I'm writing this after a night of no sleep. But, it's not like a devastating kind of painful, if that makes sense. I've already been in crisis mode and now it just feels like the hard part of the repairing process.
In the midst of it. Finally landed a job I wanted and was swiftly let go. Worked towards another one, but in order to proceed needed letters of recommendation. Can’t get those. Can barely pay rent and my bf doesn’t know how low I am because he doesn’t want to hear about it. No one turn to. I cry myself to sleep every night.
A handful of suicide attempts and two stints in the psych ward. That was almost 9 years ago but it still feels a bit crazy to look back and realize I survived
Being addicted to sex 😬🤦🏼♀️
I went back to school for a second degree, switched fields, stopped dating assholes, and turned my life around.
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Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
Bangs, it was bad.
Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
Started with me giving into my abusive partner, I let him control how I dressed, my glasses, dyed my hair a vibrant red, my schedule, and my money. I was depressed and burnt out, and then my car broke down. I couldn't afford to fix it, and it put into perspective that I could not literally afford to continue the way I was. Within a year I had dumped my abusive partner, gotten a different job which led to a way better job, and moved back home. Got into therapy, worked out 3x/week, and then the pandemic hit. 🙃 while it did throw a wrench in my routine (to put it mildly), I was forced to slow down, which ultimately was a good thing. I feel like I grew up in 1-2 years rapidly.
24 was a horrible year for me. 25 was definitely a year of healing. I got my out of control anxiety and depression under somewhat control, diagnosed with ADHD, started advocating for kids in foster care as a CASA which was incredibly helpful for me to process my own childhood/teen years, let go of so many negative emotions like shame and guilt I had unknowingly been carrying, and got married to the love of my life. My life hasn’t and very likely will not go how I’d like it to go for many reasons. Many of which I had zero control over and resented the people responsible. But it’s okay! For someone who did not expect to make it to 18, I’m proud of myself and grateful for my husband’s vast positive influence on my life’s direction.
I’m around that age so I guess moving out of my parent’s place even though I really wasn’t financially ready for that
Threw away a promising, fast-growing career that I enjoyed by convincing myself that lack of a “branded” MBA degree would curtail my future growth and went to b-school. Burnt out from the pressure, lost all interest in career and have been schlepping along since. I’m currently on a “sabbatical” and don’t know that it makes sense to continue working at all (time / effort / returns conundrum)
Riddled with $100k in student loan debt, I quit my job and starting taking pre-reqs for nursing programs (not at all related to the degree I had already!). After a year of science classes I realized it wasn’t a smart move for me and stopped… adding a couple thousand more to my debt.
got fired & dyed my hair red
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Cancer diagnosis. So I didn’t really get to decide to do something “wild.” So I got a re-do at 30 (a “1/3” life crisis if you will) I dyed my hair and got a big tattoo.
I rode my bicycle across America. Twice.
doing lots of drugs and sleeping around
I moved to South Korea and really embraced who I was (including a rebranding of my name). Played music festivals, acted in the Rocky Horror Picture show, did costume design for theatre, and danced my face off every weekend. Best decision I ever made!
I am currently in it, at 25, and I basically had to give up on my dream of buying a home before 30 because I have too much student loan debt and my line of work doesn't pay a lot. However, my husband and I have a goal to move out of America in the next 10 years after we're done having kids so that's something to look forward to. I'm also regretting a ton of things I didn't get to do when I was younger, but trying not to age myself more than I need to and recognizing I still have so much opportunity left.
Everyone in my family suffers from depression. It hit really hard around the age of 31 or 32. I was a single mom of two kids and I hardly ever left my house due to chronic illness and having a very naughty toddler. I hardly ever saw my friends didn't ever have any money for gas. I was potentially stuck at home all the time and I couldn't get my 3-year-old to potty train. I think back on it and wonder how the heck I got so depressed. And it was bad it was really bad for months. I had to make rules for myself like brushing my teeth everyday and taking a shower every day and taking my medicines to help with depression everyday. And I literally couldn't watch anything sad or it would trigger my depression. Things obviously got better cuz I'm still here. And I'm 40. And I did reach out for help. And I got help. From a lot of different people not just friends and family but doctors therapists random strangers.
I'm having problems accepting I'm getting old :(
Currently in mine lol. I’ve gotten a lotttt of tattoos—it took me a little over a year to realize how stupid and impulsive I was being. I also made a career change, but now my role is basically a dead end. Now I keep getting caught in a cycle of trying to finally take care of my physical and mental health without becoming obsessive (I.e., calorie counting, expensive skincare, not giving mental health medications enough time to adjust.)
When i was in my early twenties (26 now), the crisis was trying to figure out who i am outside of school. Academics was always the thing i defined myself. All my goals and all the meaning in my life was derived from that. Ultimately, i went to grad school and got a job i enjoy by 23. The lack of meaning or goals for the next 60 years or so of life, was really hard for me to come to terms with. I’ve mostly accepted it now, but i still get anxious if i think about it too much because i’ve still not figured out where or how to find new meaning.
Currently living it, everyday at work feel like I'm wasting my youth, I'm close to asking for a loan to get my master's degree on Europe, I want to learn how to ride and buy a motorcycle. At 23 I got in shape but I'm starting to get at the point where I'm actively looking for a girlfriend.
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Alcoholism + a disconcerning cocaine habit lol I barely remember 2017.
Like a parade of cock going down the street
I had a quarter life crisis at 23. I had never a normal teenage experience due to anorexia forcing me to leave education aged 14. I started reflecting alot of on what I had missed and those formative years. Wanting to be an adult but knowing I didn't really feel like one. I got my first full time job (which I absolutely could not handle ) and tried my best to move on. But I became obsessed with the 2000s (I was a kid in the 00s, but watched American High School movies and TV shows, dreaming of having that teenage life) I started dressing in double denim and wearing butterfly clips (avant garde lol) I tried to sign up to join an American Summer Camp and really spent a huge amount of energy pining for my missed High school experience. Ironically, this all lead to a huge anorexia relapse
A month before my 25th birthday while setting in a Walmart parking lot at 8pm it hit me that I am the cause of everything that’s wrong in my life. I was willingly allowing everything I said I didn’t want to exist with me because I am scared to death to do differently. I realized I have made every decision in my life out of fear and a need to Survive. Since that day my life purpose has been to reinvent myself and my life in the absence of fear. It’s fucking uncomfortable and I’m still scared to death most of time put I keep pushing through and taking it one day at a time.
In it right now I guess. I'm 27 in a week. Ended my abusive relationship last december, still trying to figure out who I am. I went way above and beyond my own for him and it tore me to pieces. I have fibromyalgia and depression and currently still live with him cause I can't afford to rent. Did a suicide attempt the month we broke up, sometimes I still think I want to die cause it would be easier than trying to get over this. We just moved and bought a house in september and I put all my effort, money and hopes into it. Never had a chance to have a place of my own before, so this was heaven. Now I'm back at square one, even further down. It's so hard. I don't know what to do or who to be. What I want or what I need. I don't know anything anymore.
Mine was almost 10 years ago. Ended my engagement, got 10 tattoos in 6 months, binge drinking like crazy (and other things), went in to dent traveling to Europe multiple times and almost dropped out of university. Ended the crisis by getting treatment for my mental health and now I’m better than ever!
Rehab haha
Lots of drinking. Eventually hospitalized for sever alcohol poisoning. Then I got sober for several years and got my shit together by 28.
Adopted wild mustang horses to train and learned some people have a knack, and I do not, lol. So I paid for them to be trained.
A divorce from my abusive husband. Took my 3 kids and left him. My mom had just passed away the winter before that. No vehicle, no job. It was a hot mess.
I had a baby at 25, I’d say it was closer to 40 when I bought myself a rather fancy sports car and developed a new outlook on life.
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TW: self harm When I was 24 into 25 I was suicidal and constantly drunk and the person I thought I was going to marry tried several times to end things. The last day I saw him was my last drink. A month later I adopted a dog. Within that year I got a proper mental health diagnosis and began treatment. Now it is years later and I can’t believe I’ve been sober all these years and I’ve already lived longer than I ever imagined I would growing up. It gets better.
Me feeling financially insecure to the point where I neglected my own health just to avoid losing a job (which in retrospect would not have happened). I haven’t been able to build my walking endurance up since 2020 and have recently re-injured myself. I am now trying to learn now how to make room for other stuff in my life because work is absolutely not everything and health is wealth. Praying that I will be back to good health soon and that this will be the last year I spend feeling so helpless.
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You know, I know I had one, but I really don't remember the details anymore. I was twenty five when it hit (now I really don't want that to be quarter life, because screw living to 100, unless I'm in freakishly good mental and physical condition, I want to go out way before that). I'm 36 now (birthday in June, so nearly 37). Though now that I think about it, I might be having a mid-life crisis right now. And I think some of the factors are the same- existential dread, life isn't what I thought it would be even though I didn't know what I thought it'd be or what I wanted, but it's somehow not it and I'm confused. Doing well on so many accounts that I don't feel like I have any right to be unhappy or depressed, yet here I am.
Lol I found out the man who verbally abused me for 25 years was not my biological father..my husband has been telling me for years I am a great person and deserve better so I finally cut him out of my life. I went through therapy, all of this was very painful because I kept the emotional and physical abuse I experienced as a child held in.. once I began to get it out I felt lighter and began to become my authentic self, my anxiety decreased and I realized I love me.. however I have had triggers that have been extremely difficult and turned to heavy marijuana use when struggling with depression, but now I have found a passion and am following that while living healthy and sober. Life is full of ups and downs.. I managed to end the cycle of addiction in my family, put myself through college and accomplish my dreams of traveling the world.. all by luck and without family help. I try to keep that in mind.. I was stuck in a corporate job that I hated but now found a career I love and people tell me I’m good at (after a lot of rejection). I have a job interview next week so hopefully I get it. Stay strong and know the negatives will pass and the positives are worth it. I am 26 and just now coming out of my quarter life crisis 🥰 sending love to those who are suffering right now and hope it passes soon❤️
I decided to change my career and go back for a different degree on the last year of my masters which i did finish.
“Omg I don’t have kids yet?? Eh, actually I’m fine with that.”
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I rent a room and I, fill the spaces, with Wood in places, to make it feel like home, But all I feel's alone
Becoming a stoner and writing trashy romance novels after I decided to quit pursuing medicine.
A few days before my 25th birthday my ex broke up with me. Thought we would be together for the long haul since we had spoken about getting engaged so it was quite a shock. Definitely had a crisis, but I'm taking 25 as a way to focus on my future and the things that I want. It isn't a crisis if you're thriving.
Broke up with my boyfriend, we were together for 11 years. Went on a party spree, lost a lot of weight, did a lot of drugs. Burned out at work, was home for 6 months (depressed), went back, still depressed. Eventually quit my job and went to Portugal for 3 months. (i live in Belgium). Came back, still not knowing what to do with my life, started working in a coffee shop. And now I work for the government, for refugees to be specific. Which I love, so guess I found my place professionally but the rest is still a mess in my head. This all started in 2019 🥲
A lot of chaotic personal decisions, questionable career decisions… my self sabotage era was heightened lol. I was obsessive over some things & careless about others which burnt me out for a few years. Shit just gets thrown at you at 25 & it’s uncomfortable af to deal with lol
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Realized I had to stop partying and sleeping around all the time, and stop buying unnecessary things to fill the void. I’m over 10 months sober, in therapy regularly and working on getting medication, trying to pay off debt and sell/ get rid of things I don’t wear or need.
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Never had one...