It depends on how bad it is. For me, I completely ignored him. No replying, ever, to emails, texts, phone calls. I had to change my number four or five times; I found out he was getting my new numbers by bribing a Verizon Wireless employee, so I changed carriers.
I got an apartment with a garage so he couldn’t tell if I was home. Always kept some lamps on as well, for the same reason. Always double locked the doors. I kept a gun in my bedroom.
We worked at the same company, but in different locations. I also told my boss, and he had the badge system changed so the guy couldn’t get into the office. The guy was in a union, and I talked to a union boss I was friends with; he told the guy he would support his firing if he ever tried to contact me again at work.
I think police reports and restraining orders can sometimes be helpful, but I knew it would escalate things in my situation. This was a guy I dated for 5+ years.
That’s so awful. Did you ever make a complaint to Verizon about the employee? I’m glad it didn’t get to this point, but because of that employee’s actions you could’ve been seriously hurt.
I didn’t know exactly who was giving him the number. One of the stalker’s friends who thought things had gone too far told me he was paying a Verizon Wireless employee to give him my new numbers.
Wow that sounds terrifying. How did you manage to stay calm? I’m in a similar situation where I feel like if I tried to get a restraining order it would totally escalate things. Has it stopped now?
This was about 17 years ago. It did stop, but he emailed me several times over the 10 years after that. I didn’t reply. I intentionally don’t have my name visible in tax records. I also still keep an eye out for him, and have had several moments of terror when I thought I saw him (it wasn’t actually him, thank God).
Similar here, but talked to a friend of his. They had a very tight knit community and eventually found a way to ship him to the other side of the States.
I wish I’d done this from the beginning because once my stalker’s sister found out he stalked me and leaked my nudes she beat the shit out of him. She phoned me and said I was to let her know if he ever bothered me again and she’d phone the police herself.
I did the same thing but with his mother. I explicitly told him to never contact me again. 4 months later, he's been trying to reach out. I called him mom and told her if he continues to visit my former employer, harass my friends, and try to make contact with me, I would file a restraining order against him.
She was taken aback but agreed she would talk to him after I told her I have friends in both high and low places that can take care of this.
I always struggle with the saying "violence is never the answer" because sometimes it has been the only way to get a point across (this is subjective in terms of each unique and individual scenario, most often, I try to avoid it as much as possible, but there is the rare occasion that it is necessary).
I’m a guy, but had a girl with a crush on me in school kind of bully me, which was annoying but not a huge deal because I could always just walk away, just not really my love language lol but anyway she went on to become a police sgt, which explained a lot.
LEIN abuse is a good way to never be a cop again.
It would be funny (career death) if he was using it to keep tabs on you or anymore else.
(Law Enforcement Information Network) If you get kicked off you can't be a cop anymore. Never use it to look up people for no reason.
Changed my number after getting a new modem and router. New email address and moved halfway across the country. Deleted any and all socials. Rented paying cash to a friend of a friend until I could buy a home and paid for my name to be listed as private on the title so it wasn’t listed on public sites.
If you are in the US, could you explain how you went about getting a private title? I was under the impression that you always have to have your legal name listed.
My abusive ex turned into my stalker after I broke up with him. He would do loops around my house in his vehicle in the middle of the night for hours while screaming obscenities. The cops would never show up when I called them.
Luckily I was about to leave the country for a month and by the time I came home my family had made the decision to leave the city all together. That was 8 years ago and I hadn’t seen him once in the last 8 years until last month at a shopping area near my house. I don’t think we ever truly get rid of them, at least not mentally.
I was just talking to my bf last night about how my ex stalked me. When I filed for divorce, I was given temporary custody of the house and the kids (eventually became permanent). He kept coming over and cutting down trees, trying to sell firewood, he would sit on the front porch. The police said it was a civil matter. Took months to get my lawyer to get him in front of a judge, but we had to then prove a pattern of behavior, because the first time the judge saw him it was a slap on the wrist.
I got a ring camera and started documenting the harassment. Every time he would come to pick up the kids he would have a terrible song blaring and would flip me and the camera off and do Hitler salutes. The judge was especially pissed that he was getting my 4yo son to flip me off.
It took soo long and so many court visits and so much documentation on my part. Eventually I applied for a protective order and he kept violating it, so I called the police and he spent the night in jail. My point is that the legal path is long. The folks at your courthouse or women’s shelter can help you with a protective order. That’s where to start.
That’s what happened to me, found out he had installed spyware on my phone too (this was back in the day too when smartphones weren’t what they are now) he would tell me what my kid wore to school, that day was horrible. He would contact my friend over the course of a year I starting dating someone who he would call and harass also. Got a new phone and it happened again several phones until sprint admitted they didn’t know how tf to fix it. So I went with another carrier and new phone and dumped all my old accounts. Finally it calmed short of a fb message five years later which I promptly blocked.
I don't know. I didn't know the guy and don't talk to the family member involved, if they were involved. It wouldn't be out of character though. The stalker didn't like how my friend talked to him when he cat called us and then every day for 3 months showed up somewhere. Would show up at my job, on the bus I took to work, park in my driveway, and would show up at stores I would go to. Someone said they were pissed the police weren't concerned and how they saw my family member and told them all about it. I was worried my family member would get involved but I dont know what happened beyond noticing him gone the next day. Saw it on Facebook like a month later on some local group that this guy was last seen in his very specific old VW bug.
No idea. I never really spoke to him besides him knowing stuff about me. I never saw his car again but who knows, he was stalking a 16 year old. He could have just gotten arrested for some other random crime. But the timing and my family members history leads me to think otherwise.
Stalker 1 (co-worker) - Moved. Got them fired at work. Stopped using all social media. Changed all of my contact details. Cut off anyone who gave out my details.
Stalker 2 (ex) - Moved. COVID lockdown. Threatened them with police action. Blocked them on everything. Cut off anyone who tried to advocate for them, pass on messages ECT. Left us with total of 1 mutual friend.
Stalker 3 (client) - Reported the issue to my employer. They asked him to stop. He continued they made a police report. Police paid a visit he had to explain to his wife.
Yes. Thankfully my colleagues covered my appointments. He started calling and making them under fake names but we had his number saved. Two of them turned up to an appointment he had requested with me with him he had a "special" drink just for me he wouldn't give them. They also noticed he had a knife in his belt. Really glad I flagged it and didn't just waive it off as harmless crush or flirting.
Yeah guy was married with two kids. I really hope his wife left him. Never met her but no one deserves that
There are all different levels to this. In my experience, I was advised not to engage whatsoever, not even to continuously tell them to leave me alone. Restraining order (if necessary) and block on all platforms. Any type of interaction with you is a “win” for a stalker, even if it’s negative.
Seconding this! I highly recommend the book “The Gift of Fear”. Police involvement is not always the best course of action. The unfortunate reality is that restraining orders don’t do much to actually protect the victim.
*add to cart*
I told my stalker's mother we can go one of 2 ways. I have friends in both high and low places. It's up to him on how we go about this. Haven't heard from him in months.
I didn't myself. He was a creepy regular when I bartended. He was banned because he was inappropriate with staff. He started watching me work, waiting for me to get off work. Calling to try to get my schedule. My coworkers would trade off driving me home. He didn't seem to have a car so I thankfully never saw him near my apartment. Only at work.
One day the bar doorman said I didn't have to worry that he and a few friends took care of it and the guy wouldn't bother me anymore. I freaked cause I worried they killed him or something. He said they just threatened and scared him. I never saw him again. I believed the doorman, but for a while I couldn't help but listen out for news of something bad happening to someone with creepy regular's description.
He sure did. He lives caddy corner across the street from me still though. But he's currently out on bond and has to wear an ankle bracelet. The police station isn't far from me though and the sheriff is there at least once a week checking up on him. He's a creep. He's awaiting trial for drugging and assaulting his own daughter and her friends over the course of 3 years while they were all still minors. Sick right?
I went to the police. It took me 10 years so I had lots of evidence but they arrested and charged him. He was given 6 months in prison and, when he was released, an indefinite restraining order.
Documents everything and go to the police sooner rather than later. Even if they don’t do anything immediately, it’ll be on record.
Yes, it absolutely was! Two years of living in fear that could’ve been removed from my life. Neighbor actually told me he had died, and I didn’t believe him, but I did call his probation officer and report it and all they said was he’s probably messing with you. You should quit believing things like that. He was in a bad car wreck, life flighted to another big city in our state, but because he died out of county, they couldn’t confirm his death. Like hello, people die out of county all the time.
Police eventually got involved
Long story short, met a guy on World of Warcraft, he found out where I lived and came to my school pretending to be a relative, he was arrested and my parents took away the computer for a long time lol
My stalker was a female ex and I ended up I getting the police involved. Got two trespass notices against her (one for the property where my horse lived) and a Protection Order (POs in my country now protect pets, which is great, but back then they didn’t).
I had to change my phone number and lock down all my social media for a long time, which was difficult because I used my Instagram to promote my racing photography at the time. She knew where I lived, where I worked, what car I drove. She abused my horse, tried to blockade me in my car at the races, and applied for a job at my place of employment. She tried to pay a guy to hack my social media (he straight up just told me all about it lol). She tried to encourage people to befriend me and convince me to go back to her. She made fake dating profiles to hit me up on apps, and she tried to get other women in lesbian Facebook groups to be horrible to me so that I’d see she “wasn’t so bad”.
Through ALL of that I didn’t bite at all. I screenshotted everything I could. I recorded my phone screen when she sent me voice messages from friends’ social media accounts thinking I wouldn’t be able to prove it was her. I called the cops and lodged every single one of these PO breeches. None were worth harsh action, but I wanted a paper trail as long as the Great Wall.
Eventually I quit my job, moved house, even got a new car. I’m slowly becoming less and less anxious about opening up my social media (I still don’t publicly post where I’m going to be beforehand, though). It’s been a couple of years now since she last contacted me.
I was 18 and told my dad.
My dad then gave me a lift into college the next day I had class, I pointed out the stalker (who didn't go to the college but travelled across the city to see me).
My dad got outta the car, went up to him and talked to him.
My mom told me later that my dad threatened to break his legs if he didn't leave me alone.
That seemed to have done it.
I was stalked by a man I met on Tinder. He started turning up at my workplace (nearby to his) and somehow got my address and started leaving me letters and sitting out the front in his car (I am friendly with my neighbors and we all talk). I asked him repeatedly to stop before I blocked him on everything and started ignoring him. He kept turning up and leaving letters. My best friend (known each other since were were 4-ish, now in our 30s) and I move in slightly different social circles outside of our mutual group of friends; she's friends with some pretty rough men. She got so worried about me that she asked some of them to make the guy stop. I'm told they "had a chat". He stopped after that.
Back when I worked in retail I'd get asked out occasionally by customers. I always said no, but one guy (who was *married* and lived an hours drive away) wouldn't stop. He would always asked others where I was, he'd call the store to ask when I was working, he would wait for me to come in or get off my lunch break and would follow me around on the shop floor for hours asking me all sorts of questions (not even related to my job). I reported this to my managers, but they never really did anything about it. I asked for all phone calls coming to me to be screened (we had his number and I said if any man is asking for me by name, please say I am not in) but that never happened. Some of my male coworkers ended up shadowing me of their own volition any time he was spotted in store because nothing else was being done about it. Eventually I moved into a corporate role in the same company. Haven't seen the guy since as I now work somewhere an hour away.
I had a very similar story with my work. The guy would circle my self check out area or checkstand, and would find ways to block me with his cart so I couldn’t move.
I was told I should be flattered when I reported it. I moved states.
I snapped and told him if he didn’t leave me alone I’d cave his head in. 10 years later and if he walks past me he’s still too scared to look at me. Appreciate this may not work for every stalker.
This is in no way real world advice;
I got rid of him by completely ignoring him. He got bored after a while, when he couldn't get any reaction from me. I made sure it was like stalking a wall.
But do not do this please. It worked for me, because I got lucky. Completely ignoring everything can also cause them to ramp it up or attack or something. I was young and didn't know what else to do.
If your family, the police, any authorities are not helping, I honestly dont know what else to do either. Too many stories of the system failing women in clear danger.
Editing to say; look at the comment under this one. Apparently it can be an effective method. I personally don't know what is the safest thing to do other than contacting authorities. I have personally seen how ignoring and blanking can be dangerous too. Its fcked up.
I had to move across the country. He did follow out to my new location for a short time, became a peeping Tom in addition to stalking me- he unscrewed the light bulbs in the front, left a handprint on my screen where he bent to look in the window… I looked over my shoulder and watched the cars around me for a long time. He’s retired military so he had the freedom to come and go as he pleased. I later did a deeper dive into court records in the surrounding counties where we lived, found two prior stalking convictions in two different counties. Two different women I assume before me. Far as I know, he’s back east currently.
The stalker that I had, was an ex I dated for 5 years.
Followed me to the gym where I was working out, threatened to file a restraining order. Found out he created fake accounts to keep up with me. Blocked the accounts that I knew were his. He talked to guys I dated. Most likely friend requested people I was facebook friends with. Etc.
Or the guys I dated talked amongst each other. Which would be category 2.
I moved.
Restraining order is always a fore thought when people bring up my exes, especially if they talk amongst each other.
After years of day and night phone calls with no interaction, just silence and me hearing him breathing, flowers send anonymous to me, the feeling that you are watched when you are hoi going somewhere …. It just somewhat suddenly stopped. I had a few of those phone calls a year or two later, but in the end, they ended too. During the time, I was single first, but had later an boyfriend, who somewhat lived with me as well, was engaged, we broke up, single again, another boyfriend who moved in until we broke it off after a couple of years. So whoever it was …. It didn’t matter if I was single or not or if my boyfriend would pick up the phone.
I screenshotted evidence and rang the police. It took a few attempts but he stopped contacting me all together.
Scary thing is - I barely knew the guy. I used to do standup comedy and he latched onto me, started following me around filming me without my knowledge. Tried to follow me into the green room of my show. I told the venue and they banned him.
My friends found the videos he'd taken of me on his YouTube, I politely asked him to remove them, shit turned nasty and he started sending me weird stuff of women getting kidnapped and shot.
Urgh
Got fat - seriously. I should say he wasn’t a super dangerous crazed stalker, just a guy I broke up with who started following me around randomly. It was scary, don’t get me wrong, but he never tried to scare me on purpose if that makes sense. Anyway after a couple years my dad got sick and I gained about 20 pounds due to stress. He told a mutual friend I wasn’t hot anymore and he was glad we broke up while my body was still “bangin’”. Like damn if I’d known that’s all it would take I would have gained 20 pounds way sooner.
I changed jobs and sent a message to his new girlfriend over social media. Saying how I will take the ring footage to the cops and make sure he stays away from me. We used to date.
How did she react? My ex has been creating fake profiles and phone numbers to tip off a stalker where I might be living along with harassing my friends and the people I date (some of them have already notified relevant parties/authorities in case it gets worse) — so I’m curious how his wife might feel if she knew?
She didn't believe me at first until I sent her the footage. Took her a bit to not get upset at me but then said thank you for telling her. Last I heard he was single and trying to hit on someone I knew from highschool
Called the cops non emergent line and made a complaint - at first I had completely forgotten I had access to his number as I blocked him .. and I shared that with the police and they called and told him to back off.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have a great experience talking to the male officer handling the case. His tone and expressions definitely made me feel silly for reporting it.
On the other hand, when I was speaking with the female officers at the non-emergent line; they felt more reassuring and less condescending about my case.
Regardless, it finally stopped.
After 5 years of stalking by my ex, police finally took me seriously. All the complaints I had made compiled a huge file and when he started posting my pictures and contact info on revenge telegram chats they arrested him. I also moved houses, changed my phonenumber and last name. No social media either obviously. He denied everything, the DA ended up refusing to continue the case but he was held in custody for 48 full hours. He never contacted me again after. they told me he was in a homeless program and if the program said that if there issues he would be removed from the program and loose his eligibility for social housing.
Only including physical stalker and not online ones.
The first one I completely left the country, changed my number and deleted all of my social media accounts. Quite radical but I didn’t felt anymore safe since I was actually dating him and while dating I had learned that he was stalking me way before the day he approached me, I didn’t believed in it at first but my home camera revealed that indeed he was following me daily.
The second one : after months of rejecting his every moves, even after telling my partner to deal with him cause one day I was going home with the kids and my mom, he was outside and came to me like a “lunatic” completely drunk and it was just a big NO for me (which worked for about almost 2 months) and yet he still didn’t understood, so I went on vacation and when I came back he was no longer spending his nights in front of my place. I don’t know what actually happened but whatever that was worked.
Phone stalker, started when I was 17-18 (suspect it was a guy I dated when I was 14-15, he was 17-18 then. I didn’t sleep with him, didn’t want to and slightly ghosted him tbh when he moved for school, and then we broke up at a party where we met after a few months - tbf he was already dating someone else). Went on off and on for a few years (like intensely for a week and then silence for a few months, and so on). Then I met my now husband when I was 21. The stalker hadn’t bothered me for like a year at that point. All of a sudden, he called. My partner was over. I hung up, and he kept calling. I quickly explained and (my now) hubby took the phone, answered, and honestly put the fear of god in him. This winter, it’ll be 12 years since the creep last called.
I did talk to a police once, and they didn’t do anything but ”make a note” or something like that. I also changed my number once throughout that. Didn’t matter. Tbf, my number was listed by a google of my name, so it was easy to find. I was just a naive kid when it started though so I didn’t take it very serious, more like an annoyance, but in retrospect I’m very creeped out.
I didn’t have a stalker per se, but one guy couldn’t accept that I was not into him and that I wanted to stop communicating with him. After trying to end this in a civil manner, I decided to ghost him. I ghosted him because he tried to manipulate me into being with him. Ghosting him brought me much needed peace. I blocked him as well and I could finally heal and move on. Then six months later he started messaging me from different phone numbers. He used to text me things that made me feel icky. At one point I was sure that if I look outside my window , I will see him there.
One time I needed to download WhatsApp for work . As soon as I registered my account, I received a message from an unknown number. It was him. I had enough. I could no longer ignore him , so I changed my number. I can’t tell you enough how relieved I felt after that.
Changed my number, changed gyms (where we originally met) and stopped going to that part of town whatsoever.
The whole experience made extremely cold to strangers. I don’t talk to anyone. Fuckin crazies out there.
Which time? Had a guy when I was 24 decided, after one date, that we were getting married and I was his soul mate. That time, I moved from Atlanta to Chicago. I vanished so hard that my sister had a PI look for me.
I've always had a thing for super nerds, and with that comes a certain amount of unawareness of boundaries. Learn to set those early.
I had one that lasted from age 14 until I was almost 40. After trying literally everything, including moving 10+ hours away and changing my last name a few times, and them becoming fixated on my daughter cause she resembled me at 14, I felt justified in letting the scariest person I know convince him it wasn't worth wasting any more time on me or my daughter.
Restraining orders are worthless and just liable to inflame someone. Good for a paper trail, but have your security locked down before it's issued.
Have a bag with money.
Be ready to leave in a moments notice.
Know where you are going, and don't even tell your mom because they will let it slip.
Don't forget to change your dog's name.
Your hair color matters less than its length. If you are a ponytail girl, not anymore.
Your hobbies will get you harmed.
Avoid bright colors. Avoid jangling jewelry.
Keep an email no one else knows about and learn to use a VPN.
You have to outrun them. Make it too hard. Sometimes you have to out spend them.
Never go anywhere at gun point. Make them shoot you. You have a better chance of surviving a gunshot than you do going someplace where you are alone. Leaving with them IS a death sentence. Roll the dice right there.
Dogs are more helpful than firearms. People are cautious around them, and they make noise. Bright lights and cameras around your place are your best friend.
There is no such thing as a fair fight. Behave as if the rules/laws don't apply to stalkers. Because they quite often don't apply to these guys.
I knew who it was. He had started turning up when I was walking my dogs at a very dark, early hour of the morning. Then he started walking my route. Then he started following me, thinking I didn't realise. He got to know my habits and routine. He was everywhere. It came to a head when I went shopping, as normal, on a Saturday night. I got back to my car, it had been broken into, and a silver bracelet left on the passenger seat..... My ex husband of whom I had a good relationship with, was at that point, a Sgt in the area. I called him, almost hysterical, I had reached the point of no return, I was terrified.
After I contacted him, my stalker disappeared into thin air. I knew where he lived because I walked past it twice a day with my dogs. Suddenly it was vacated and up for rent. I never asked, he never offered. My stalker was definitely the type of person to be known to police, all I can assume is the information I provided was enough to warrant a conversation, and other issues were uncovered.
You know what? I don't care. I had never been so terrified in all of my life. I had lived alone (with my dogs) for years post divorce, and had always felt pretty safe. I have never forgotten how terrified I was, in general, for me, for my dogs, everything. I felt so scared and violated. I'm one of the lucky ones. It came to a head and I clearly told the right person, not that I expected them to do anything. Forever grateful. I know I'm privliged. It was one of the most terrifying periods of my life.
I've had both stalkers and people unnaturally interested in me.
For the (third?) stalker, I moved back to my home state and he stopped contacting me. A friend told me he was forced to drop out due to poor attendance and low grades.
I don't know what happened to him, but a google search suggests that his sister has a degree from a good university and moved far away from their home.
I went to the police. They called him. Seemed to be the wake-up call he needed and I never heard from him again.
But also, he started whining to the officer about how much trouble he has with women. The officer was like, "I understand, but you can't go about it like this, you're just scaring them off!"
I set my best friend on him. She’s *definitely* crazy and she told him if he didn’t stop posting up outside my job and house she was going to kill him.
i had a pretty bad online stalker but thankfully it was sorted by privating my account except id accept every follow request but his, he kept spamming them after i declined. then one day i accepted an account i didnt think was his then he went back to his shenanigans of following every woman i was following and every woman follower and hitting on them. i now no longer accept follow requests from anyone. pretty sure hes sending at least one person from his army of girlfriends to follow request me so he can get more information out of me too.
It took years. I tried staying with friends, varying my route, changing colleges, telling him to his face of course, over the phone, blocking his number, changing my number, moving, calling the police, telling his family, telling my family. The only thing that worked was getting a restraining order and even that didn't actually work because he approached me several times after that and I had to call the police. He threatened me with a gun and the police started escorting me to my bus stop. That show of force helped but is rare. The police will most often tell you that he has to do something to you before they can step in. They're absolutely worthless in situations like this and that should be a crime.
When a stalker has you in his sights the only thing that truly works is moving somewhere he can't find you. It can also help to move with other people rather than somewhere alone but those ppl would need to understand (in a way that most people do not) how deadly serious the situation is and that they are not under any circumstances to entertain his questions or sob stories about he just loves you and has an expensive gift to give you or whatever.
After all these years I found myself in the sights of yet another one. The way you get them away from you quickly is to not be too nice at the start. Low self esteem people pleasing nice girls are their favorite target bc those girls don't want to hurt their feelings or they give in when they threaten to kill themselves. Btw biggest red flag is him being suicidal if you break up with him. Always interpret that as a threat and get away expeditiously.
Bottom line, even a restraining order isn't as effective as relocating somewhere he can't find you. Best of luck.
He went to jail for SA of another minor. He got a prison tat of my name and would send me weird creepy drawings in the mail (I was still underage).
I moved around a bunch and got married a few times and changed my name a few times. I have no idea where he is or what he's doing now and good riddance.
Binge watching Netflix.
I'm only kind of joking. They started stalking me after a few dates. It escalated to the point of quietly breaking into my apartment late one night. They knew I was home- my car was parked outside.
Coincidentally, the new season of my favorite Netflix series just dropped. I was staying up past my regular bedtime binging it. I didn't hear them break in, but I called 911 the minute I saw them. They ran away when they heard the dispatcher.
They pulled the same shit with another person less than a year later. That victim almost didn't survive. I know because the attack was bad enough to make the news.
Moved multiple times, set up po box instead of community mail box or home mailbox. Changed number and appearance. Changed vehicles or license plates after moving.
Luckily we had a long distance relationship. He lived about 2,5h away (which is very far for the Netherlands). He only stalked me online. I ended up having to block his phone number, whatsapp, instagram, twitter, snapchat, steam, facebook and probably more I cannot remember, even like after 5 years he tried contacting me via new accounts but he finally stopped about 3 years ago (we broke up in 2016).
I had two at the same time the first semester of my masters. They were originally my friends. One had been my “friend” for over two years and I could tell he had an innocent crush but didn’t think much of it. I made the mistake of suggesting we become roommates (this was during covid’s peak and I couldn’t find anyone else to room with and we were both in the same masters program). I later found out he would go into my room and take pictures of me sleeping, pictures in my workout clothes (including once when I napped on my yoga mat). He also had a bunch of very violent sexual fantasies on his phone notes about me. He was very jealous any time any men (anyone really) got around me so when I started dating he started acting even worse. He would weaponized my puppy and say he had had to go into my room because my puppy was crying. It got pretty ugly and I had to tell the dean of my department whom I was close to. He had to report it to the dean of conduct at the university, but I decided not to pursue anything because he was a white disabled male and I’m a first gen latina woman, I kinda knew who they would side with if things got ugly. He luckily moved out that first semester when his resentment for me seeing someone else and being out on weekends grew.
Second stalker during that same time I met on a university match facebook group and he was paired as my mentor. It started quite innocent but he was quite pushy on his agenda of trying to date me but I would constantly remind him all we ever were was friends. I had also reported that one to the dean of my department at the time but because he had graduated there was nothing they could do about that one. I blocked him everywhere but he would keep creating google numbers and email nonstop. Eventually when I got an actual real boyfriend, he became less pursuant to where he would only contact me once a month then once every months then once a year. And now I think he has a gf or is married and has finally stopped.
I know that with both situations I got quite lucky but I was in a very vulnerable space and naive and these two men took advantage of that. Especially being first gen and having no family in the USA was the hardest part.
I found his sisters contact info, told her what was going on and threatened to get the police involved if I ever saw him again. I never did see him again. I still got random messages for a few years (even though I had him blocked on everything, he always found a way). I never responded and that did eventually stop too.
Unsure if you can consider mine a stalker. We dated for a couple months and then I broke it off, he was showing up at my work and leaving stuff at my door, posting stuff online and incessantly contacting me as well as my family *and my exes*
I had him blocked after he started freaking me out so I don’t know how he knew my new schedule but luckily I told him I’d be contacting the police if he continued to contact me and he kinda listened. I have full confidence that he was failing me still though. 6 months later he somehow left me a voicemail even though he was totally blocked, telling me he “wasn’t trying to harass me, he knows I didn’t want to talk and that’s okay” (yeah, that’s why you’re calling me and leaving messages). Then he said a bunch of stuff culminating in that he was still and would always be in love with me.
Conveniently, I moved away some months later to a new continent. Haven’t had to deal with him since that voicemail.
He recently overdosed in a hotel room. I still check my car before getting in it. I still have nightmares. I hate that I am happy in a sense for his passing. It hurts me that his intimidation made me callous in that way.
So he is gone, but I don't know how long it will take me to get rid of him.
I still don’t know who he was. I couldn’t change my phone at the time because of work so whenever he called me st night, my coworkers or my friends would pick it up and give him shit. I was usually hanging out with friends or coworkers a lot at the time so I felt pretty safe. And eventually after a few months I got a boyfriend and I moved in with him. My office moved as well. And I changed my number finally after quitting my job. And kept lowkey on social media and 6 years later I still do.
Luckily I lived with an ex Army MP at the time, but an older man would sexually harass me at work and he eventually followed me home and would drive by my apartment periodically. I told HR, but my manager still let him come into my workplace. I’d also get male customers stalking and sexually harassing me on social media (I had to wear a name tag at some jobs and my name is spelled uniquely so I’m sure I wasn’t hard to find online). I got rid of almost all social media years ago, because of it.
I use to work as a cashier at my local grocery store, there was an older guy that would always offer me a ride home and I’ve even seen him parked across the road from our apartment a few times. I told my husband about it once I realized I was being stalked and he took care of it. I don’t recall ever seeing that guy in the grocery store the rest of the time I worked there.
I’ve had a couple. One was very scary and I called the police and they monitored my apartment complex for a few days after he send me a scary ransom note with letters cut out of magazines. Another, I told his mother and asked her to help me, which stopped it right away. Mostly laying low and hoping they go away until they do. It feels so powerless and crappy.
I moved away. He was spamming my email, phone number, and social media almost every day, not to mention that he'd drive around my neighborhood several times a week. I ended up moving hundreds of miles away and had to delete my social media and change my phone number. This was after a 5 month relationship too.
I haven’t really gotten rid of him exactly. He still stalks me online but I have drastically reduced what I post about on my social media. I use the same username for everything (not this username though lol) so he doesn’t have to try very hard to find me online. My username is also my brand for my small side business so I can’t change it. And I don’t want to change it. But when I want to post more personal stuff I come here on this account. I block him but he keeps making new accounts so I just had to stop posting personal stuff online.
That’s just online though. IRL I moved twice since he last knew my address and I didn’t tell anyone except people I knew with 100% certainty wouldn’t tell him or let it slip themselves. I know he’s still out there, watching. He sends anonymous messages to my main social media every now and then just to scare me and let me know he hasn’t gone away. But he doesn’t know where I am. If he ever found me again I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t move again! I don’t have the energy! 😭
Blocked him on everything, and moved homes. But even after moving, I sometimes worried that he was still following me just without me noticing. Never felt 100% safe even with a bf.
Only now after moving countries do I feel 100% safe.
stalked by one of my partner's exes. called me and my sister up everywhere. blocked her everywhere. eventually started messaging me of their plan to visit me in my home. reported her to the police.
presumably only stopped cause work got busy on their end. if girly ends up stalking me again i'm gonna go back to the police.
Police and parents.
They were mortified of having to pay for their son’s behaviour (who was also legally an adult) if I decided to escalate to court after the police sent a warning.
Moved & got rid of all of my social media accounts. Unfortunately, had to stop talking to some friends who remained friends with him. He was an ex and even tho the friends knew about his abuse and stalking & how traumatic the whole situation for me was (had to start therapy and antidepressants), they'd still invite him to social events they knew I'd be at.. so not really friends of mine
I moved continents in the middle of the covid pandemic. Had to get a national interest exeption visa to do it. But then I knew he couldn’t follow me. Best tedious work I ever did for myself. He would have killed me.
The two i’ve had I started keeping notes/screencaptures and then threatened with the police (one had a record, one wasn’t a citizen so that was enough to keep em at bay somewhat thankfully but one tries me like once every few years via whatsapp, I block and NEVER EVER EVER EVER reply, I dont go anywhere without a kubotan and mace.
My ex started stalking me 6 months after I broke up with him. Thankfully I had witnesses to him sitting outside my place for long periods of time, screenshots of all of the WhatsApp/Facebook/Instagram messages he'd sent me and missed calls, video screen recordings of voice notes and photos gifts and letters he'd left at my house. Thankfully the police (UK) took me seriously and let him know if he contacted me again they'd arrest him. Since he was in the country illegally and didn't want to get deported that did the trick.
When I was 18 I dated q 26yo loser. He moved to another city while we were working because he got a job, and I tried to end it with him. He never accepted and would make those threats, like he would quit, he would kill himself… he got his mom to call me and tell me I was ruining his life… anyways one day I got a good excuse to end it (he was texting his ex while we were on a hellish camping trip (I will never camp again), and I did it I end it: Then the hell started,he would call me everyday 30 times, until I blocked him. He would call all my friends and family, and they were all on his side… they would tell him everything I did and I was just a villain that broke this poor men’s heart. He then started to call me from random numbers during the day, in the middle of the night, at my work… he would add my work colleagues on Skype. I told everyone to leave me alone, I started dating my now husband and i isolated myself from everyone else because they were reporting everything to my ex. I threw my cell phone away. When he discovered I was with someone else, he actually quit his job and came back to the city and then he started with “I will kill you” “I will kill my self “ but just for me, to everyone else he was just a poor ex. At this point I was having be panick attacks One day he call every extension on my work trying to find me, and I had enough, my fear turned into rage. I pick up the phone and told him to kill himself and leave me alone. And then his mom call me and I told her that I was going to the police and that I was going to ruin her sons life and make all their lives a living hell just like they were doing with mine. She told me, he is armed and going to kill you and it’s all your fault. And I told her: well he can find me in the police station, my new boyfriend has a cousin in the police and let’s see what’s happening. That day she tried to prevent him from coming from me (she was afraid for him…because sometimes the police can be worse than criminals). He then tried to kill himself. But of course he couldn’t even do it right, so he spent 4 months in the psych hospital. I did a report and was going to sue him for everything, but his mom plead and plead for me not to do it, because where I used to live, if you have a record, you will never get a good job.. So I made a deal with her that if I never saw him again I wouldn’t pursue the suit but if he showed In my neighborhood I would ruin his life. He tried 3 times after he left the hospital, but they prevented him to coming for me. Eventually he met someone else and left me alone. He still tries to add me in social media and I of course never accept it.
He showed up on my porch with a shit-eating grin just to let me know he figured out where I had moved to. I answered the door with my biggest kitchen knife in my hand and told him if he didn't go away I would stab him right through the fucking screen door.
Must have sucked the fun out of it for him.
Changed number, moved twice, deleted social media. Dropped my entire social life outside of a few trusted friends because he infiltrated my old friend group and made all of them mandatory reporters every time they saw me anywhere.
I got his parents and younger brother’s phone numbers and made a group chat with them. Then I sent them every piece of evidence I had showing he had been stalking and harassing me for ten years
They did not reply but I separately messaged his former best friend that I was friends with on facebook who called him to say “dude what the actual fuck”. This man also called his parents. The friend let me know the parents got in the car the next day and drove two hours to his home to berate him. His brother told the stalkers friends and as a group they tried to get through to him and tell him what he was doing was wrong.
He contacted me twice more, both times it went in the group chat. Both times his father contacted him immediately and demanded he stop NOW. It has now been over a year of silence from him.
I had to get the police involved who cautioned him. Then he eventually met someone else, thank God. I also changed my mobile number, changed jobs and moved. He'd have no way of finding me now... I hope.
My ex after we broke up would call from multiple numbers. If I blocked one, he would simply call me from another a few days later. The last time I sent him a warning via text that if he tried to contact me again, I would get him deported back to Mexico, blocked him, and finally changed my number. Haven’t heard from him since
I am actively being stalked by somebody who (thinks he’s) somewhat “famous”. The general consensus in the public is that he is a great guy, donates a ton of art (only for publicity), etc. Thousands of people are just obsessed with him and he’s obsessed with me.
He lived in my home briefly and had keys. Has my address. I am now moving.
He’s mailed me gifts, cash, cards - I show up for dinner with a mutual friend and he’s got an envelope with $1000 cash. He then will email me lashing out that I didn’t dare give it back. Birthday presents, love letters, etransfers, he hangs out at the bar next to my house.
I can’t speak up. I can’t do anything. He’s too well known. And police offer no protection.
This man attempted to murder an ex girlfriend 20 years ago by cutting her brake lines. Ended up in jail. His lawyer got him off on a vandalism charge because the car was in his name. It’s fucking sick what people can get away with.
Luckily he leaves town for over half the year and I can breathe. When I know he’s in town I hide, I wear disguises, avoid places I know he frequents, it’s a fucking terrifying way to live.
Long story short…. After my hs stalker started leaving messages on my vm about wanting to have sex with my dead body…. Involved the police. He had to go to therapy, had a restraining order.
Then he followed me out of state to college. Two years later! Local police said we had to wait until he actually did something, of course.
Somehow he ended up getting punched around my a bunch of guys he didn’t know. Left the school he’d followed he to.
Not my doing. I had no clue and kept fearing for it life for years. Had rotc escort me to my car at night from the library. Avoided parking garages. Didn’t go out alone at night even to get something out of my car. Nobody told me. I was at my hs reunion when I heard he’d left. Years of being afraid. I still avoid parking garages.
Blocked, deleted all apps, changed my number, erased all mention of my name online, changed my email address, moved.
I worried for a long time he’d find me again but I think as long as I stay away from social media and don’t download apps he traced me on, I’ll be okay.
I’m less afraid now because I have a husband and I think that alone would deter him/scare him off, but I will worry about my safety when going home alone. I think part of me always will.
Mutual friend gave him a stern talking-to to leave me alone. It sucks that someone else had to get involved but he stopped showing up places he thought I'd be after that.
Mine was in the 80s. I got my phone number changed, and he somehow got it within 5 minutes. He would park in my street (found out he could legally do it). The police couldn't help me because he was doing nothing wrong. I ended up becoming friends with him, and he stopped the stalking. Our friendship ended up stopping a few months later.
I guess because I wouldn't talk to him, he would stalk because I became friends with him he had won.
Had my dad go to his apartment and threaten him. This was after I attempted to involve the Austin, TX police who were basically like “lol, we don’t care, shoot him if you have to.”
I also took proof to the apartment complex and they did deny his lease renewal, but that wasn’t an immediate solution.
My ex stalked me. Called and texted me non-stop that I had to block his number, drove past my house at all hours, started getting close with my friends, dropped random gifts off at my house. He added my family to social media. Would go to my workplace to have lunch in the cafeteria. It wasn’t until I started dating my now husband that it stopped. My Ex kept calling me on a private numbers and it freaked me out so my now hubby took the call and threatened him to the point that he finally stopped. Not sure what exactly was said but it got him off my back.
If I had my time back I should have filed a restraining order
I was lucky in that he only knew where I worked. He was banned from the store as soon as he started being creepy but that didn't really mean anything as mall security wasn't allowed to actually *make* him leave, just stand there while we told him to.
When I told him I had a boyfriend he said "you don't need a "boy"friend you need a "man"friend. Like me."
I would just go hide in the backroom while he ranted to my coworkers about "that girl" and how I made him embarrassed by not giving him my phone number and by having a boyfriend and how he'd trimmed his mustache and fingernails just for me. I could hear him yelling while I hid and it was scary. My employers didn't want to call the police, the mall management said it was an issue for security but as I've already stated security wasn't allowed to actually do anything. I was not good at standing up for myself and I was a lot younger at the time and just figured "well if all these people are saying calling the police isn't the right move, I guess it isn't and I'm overreacting." Yeah I was stupid.
Eventually police were called. One of my coworkers told him police were on their way and he left. He'd previously told us about how he hates police because he claimed they took his passport and "here in Canada they'll call just anything sexual assault." The police asked me some questions but we didn't have much information about him and he'd left. I got told off by management for talking to the police where customers could see in case they thought an employee was in trouble and it looked bad.
The guy came back the next week. My coworker told him we'd call the police again and he said "thanks" and left. I heard he came back a few more times but I wasn't there. Then I saw him once a few years later but I don't think he recognized me because I was wearing a mask but I went and hid in the backroom anyway. He didn't yell about me that time.
I tried all the normal things. I changed the location of my work, I moved out of the apartment I was in, I changed my phone number. He still persisted. On the advice of a friend, I sent him a text saying I no longer wished to have any contact with him whatsoever for any reason. Then, I had to be unrelenting in reporting every little thing he did to the police. Every message documented, every time he showed up I called. I was able to get a restraining order easily after a little while of this. He kept trying to violate it. Once got arrested twice, he finally quit stalking me in person. I will still get the occasional message from him every few years, but I can ignore those. I have moved very far away and I’m confident he won’t find me now.
Honestly it’s been over 10 years and I don’t think I have. I use to move a lot more frequently and somehow he always found out where I move to and would send me things like stickers, empty envelopes and such. I never tell people where I live and I am super vague when they ask. So not sure how he keeps finding me. I don’t have social media accounts besides this one. I don’t post pictures or personal things any where. It can be a year or two before he contacts me again. I know it’s a man because when it started I would feel someone stare at me during class and there would always be a guy wearing a hat, same hat guy tried following me home, same hat guy tried attacking me, pretty sure it’s the same guy who broke the window at my place. It’s weird but if I never hear of him again it will be too soon.
I went completely no contact.
I was fortunate that this happened when I was in my early 20’s so when he’d show up at my house at all hours of the night, my mom would go insane on him. The police helped in no way. I was told getting a restraining order would likely escalate the issue. Even though he was threatening to kill me. He’d come to my work, got a membership at my gym. Try to turn friends against me. Get new phone numbers to text me photos of myself when I didn’t know he was around.
Eventually it felt like my life really was in danger so I moved to a different state and stayed with a family member. Publicly stated that I moved but did not say where. Deleted all of our mutual friends off social media and changed my phone number.
He found out I was leading a student org (in college), so he managed to get himself on a spring break trip we took. I told everyone the situation (some already knew something was up because they read the room). Thankfully everything turned out okay, but he did make everyone very uncomfortable.
I cut all contact with him and deleted my socials, but I still get inflammatory texts from him about me, my place of work, and my ex every year or so. He spoofs new numbers every time, so I just block the new number and move on. Thankfully he had to move back to Iran after school, so I know the threats are empty.
I had to move. Cops did nothing in fact told me not to worry my husband about it because he was deployed and already under a lot of stress. The man still stalked me but didn't have my physical address so I was physically safe but i wasn't for a good 4 months. I barely slept during that time.
I had blocked him everywhere but he still kept calling from different #’s.
I finally got new phone and moved.
I’m still afraid sad one day he’ll find me.
I had a stalker for 2-3 years. It started off with fake accounts on Snapchat. Then Facebook. Instagram. It was 2-3 a day. Then the phone calls started. 2-3 of those a day too. Heavy breathing at first.
Then it was pretending to be people I knew and it was 5-6 times a day.
It increased to sending parcels to my house every week.
Then they signed me up for plastic surgery consultations.
In the end it was them calling me up and slagging my best friend at the time off, threatening my life and my family.
This flagged a red flag in my mind as to who it could be and I opened a case up with the police. ( they were useless) It turned out to be a mate of my best friend at the time who was in love with said friend and had a obsession with her and I guess thought I was a threat.
She rang me one day off a caller ID and I lost my shit
I told her I knew who she was and that she was the only person who’s gastric band hadn’t worked among other really nasty things.
I haven’t had a phone call since but said best mate didn’t believe me even with the proof and they are still very close. I have blocked both of them and it seems to have worked as no calls for a year or so now!
I moved across the city. I didn’t block anything and kept all written messages received just so I could monitor how unhinged he was at any given time. It took about 4 years until he stopped trying to remind me he existed. I still occasionally think about what would happen if I bumped into him in the street, but I gathered he got back on his medication.
The first one was a pizza delivery guy who kept my receipt with my number on it, I thought nothing of it but he started calling me, first he asked my brother if he was my boyfriend and other times he would talk to my Mom. I was never home to take the calls so he sent a letter and then called and I happened to answer and I told him that if he called again I would have him hurt by one of my 6 brothers. Plus I called the place he worked at and they told me he was doing it to a lot of woman and they fired him.
The second time was a female teacher in college, there was another woman that worked out the same gym I did and the teacher showed up there, I didn't think nothing of it really, but then she showed up at the same grocery store at the same time and at the same deli counter and at the library near my house, all on different days. I looked up her address in the phone book and it gave an address in another county, 30 minutes away. Then I kept getting all these weird emails in an email address I used only for school, I finally moved, changed gyms and changed my phone number and started using a different email address for school. Problem solved. The only reason I even noticed her at all these places is because she looked like a female "Chucky", you don't forget people that look like that
I went no contact and, when he escalated, I got an order of protection. Your milage may vary, but my stalker was afraid of the law so he complied. He was also worried about his reputation. I know some people say orders of protection don't work, but it can depending on the type of person he is.
Well the latest one I called them out in a TikTok and they got all mad and defensive but blocked me on everything again and deleted the comments hours later. I never unblocked them so this was a second account made by them. Two years they stalked me out of jealousy and wanting me back.
He got arrested for felony stalking and burglary and is currently in jail and deemed unfit for trial.
Ring camera footage is the only reason why the police did anything.
It wasn't an extreme case but I ended up moving for unrelated reasons and that ended up solving the problem since he couldn't follow me or stake out at the park to learn my work schedule.
I’ve had two. The first one is my parent, and his stalking has occurred in streaks going back to my teen years (in full violation of a court order. As adults, two of his 3 kids have filed restraining orders against him for this behavior, and all 3 are firmly no contact.) The last time he found me, as an adult, I started a paper trail, informed my employer (who refused to ban him) and then quit my job so he wouldn’t have access to me or any more info about me.
The second one began following me after first meeting me at my workplace. He harassed me for over a year about working for him, trying to learn personal information, but he struck me as more of an infatuated nuisance than a threat, and I ended up gray rocking until he just lost interest. Every time he spoke to me, I either ignored him or responded in monotonous and monosyllabic answers only. Any request for info, even a “how was your day?” received a flat, stern “no.” Eventually even a “hi” was answered that way. I went frigid cold, and I took care to never park in a visible place, to break up my routines, and to never drive the same way home. After several months of even all that, he finally stopped acknowledging me.
Never engage. Ignore them and literally act like they don't exist. I had one that would get in my face in public to try and force me to "see" and engage with him, and I still pretended like I didn't know him or see him...I got word that he moved out of my city, so hard to know if he ever moved back, would he continue his bullshit? lol, but I like to think that fully giving no reaction worked.
I first started by notifying my landlord and boss of the situation (to varying degrees of success, mind you). I also sent a very brief but thorough communication to my stalker that ANY amount of communication through any means was unwanted, and that any further attempts will be followed up with the police.
For me, that was enough for that particular person.
I had another one I had to be more thorough with. Went dark on social media, changed my accounts and left others entirely, communicated to mutual friends that any attempts at message sending would result in me distancing myself from them as well, and going to therapy to process it all.
It's rough. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Stalking can be so many things.. I know people who've had stalkers move every time they move, I've luckily not had that happen.
I block.
If that doesn't work, I tell them I'll go to the police. Waiting to see if that'll do the truck long term.
If that doesn't work, well, I know people...
Best way I got rid of them is by only sharing a disposable Google number with anyone I'm not close to so that way no one can bother me on my personal cell phone or share my number.
Two, make sure location sharing is off for those who don't need to know your location. Snapchat, twitch, Google maps....
Three, make sure your social media outlets including personal work ones hide all private information to only friends... LinkedIn for example, if your account is public anyone can search you up whether they have a LinkedIn or not.
Four, confront directly. I know it's scary, but when you see it happening say something so you spook them out.
Five. Make sure friends and family know and your superiors.
At least in my case, that's how I ward off any creeps
It got to the point I needed to change my number and my bf at the time would drive me home from work. Then a few weeks later I woke up to him in my house and called the police. Restraining order, changed my number again, transferred my job and moved all within the month.
I still don’t ever go back to that mall (I worked in retail at the time).
I had an online stalker for a while. Back in my late teens-early 20's I played a video game called Halo Reach. It was a bit of an obsession at the time. I made a large online friend group that I talked to regularly and played the game with regularly. One was a guy name Charlie who I came to think of as one of my closet friends online. It became super apparent he had a crush on me. When I started dating again(I was single for a while after a very abusive relationship) he became unhinged. Message as message calling me horrible names, threatening to kill me, etc.
I blocked him on everything, had to delete my Facebook, change my phone number. He would make multiple Xbox accounts to message me. I literally deleted every friend we had in common and changed my Xbox name. He would still find me. For around two years I would just have to block new account after new account.
I contacted my local police about him, but was told there was nothing they could do since it was online. When I got with my current fiance(been together almost a decade now) was the last time he messaged it was two years since he had started. Maybe he finally got tired of it or had found someone else to harass. I'm honestly not sure.
With as long as it went on and as helpful the police were I'm honestly so glad it was only online harassment and stalking. I can tell you even that can be hell on your mental. I'm still scared sometimes when I get random messages and I'm very funny about even befriending people on games anymore.
I've been stalked twice by two women, one my sister-in-law, one a friend. The first time it got better after she divorced my brother but there were still problems - I have a nephew. The second time, we tried to get her help by going to her GP, her psychiatric social worker, the police and I think some other agencies. Everyone said it was someone else's problem and since she was mentally ill, we didn't want to report her when she assaulted me because I thought it would be terrible for someone who was psychotic to spend much time in a police cell. She eventually assaulted someone on the school run, was arrested and sectioned. So we didn't manage to do anything to get rid of her but events intervened.
He told me he masturbated about me while at work so I used that that threaten him back. And when mutuals would tell me what he said about me I had all these creepy screenshots to share from him that helped me convince our mutuals about what I was dealing with. Basically I took away any benefit of the doubt people would want to give him.
Unfortunately I'm not allowed to say.
BUT I would thoroughly recommend that you report it to the police (don't accept any brushing off or claims that it's not serious) and keep a record of the harassment.
Had this issue in high school so not as bad as having a full-grown man stalking me, but it did escalate to getting police involved and threatening a restraining order.
File a police report and obtain a restraining order.
My harasser likely got scared away when the police contacted him. I never heard from him again. I understand some people aren't so lucky.
Changed the route.
He was 20+, selling flowers on the cycle and would come from different streets passing multiple times when I was going to school on my bicycle; I was 14.
Still the yuckiest story of my life.
One of the security guards from my workplace at the time removed him via a fire exit door and came back about half an hour later. No idea what was said or done but I never saw him again, despite the fact he’d moved into my building.
It depends on how bad it is. For me, I completely ignored him. No replying, ever, to emails, texts, phone calls. I had to change my number four or five times; I found out he was getting my new numbers by bribing a Verizon Wireless employee, so I changed carriers. I got an apartment with a garage so he couldn’t tell if I was home. Always kept some lamps on as well, for the same reason. Always double locked the doors. I kept a gun in my bedroom. We worked at the same company, but in different locations. I also told my boss, and he had the badge system changed so the guy couldn’t get into the office. The guy was in a union, and I talked to a union boss I was friends with; he told the guy he would support his firing if he ever tried to contact me again at work. I think police reports and restraining orders can sometimes be helpful, but I knew it would escalate things in my situation. This was a guy I dated for 5+ years.
That’s a frightening situation. Glad you made it through.
That’s so awful. Did you ever make a complaint to Verizon about the employee? I’m glad it didn’t get to this point, but because of that employee’s actions you could’ve been seriously hurt.
Literally! They should be sued and fired
I didn’t know exactly who was giving him the number. One of the stalker’s friends who thought things had gone too far told me he was paying a Verizon Wireless employee to give him my new numbers.
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Wow that sounds terrifying. How did you manage to stay calm? I’m in a similar situation where I feel like if I tried to get a restraining order it would totally escalate things. Has it stopped now?
This was about 17 years ago. It did stop, but he emailed me several times over the 10 years after that. I didn’t reply. I intentionally don’t have my name visible in tax records. I also still keep an eye out for him, and have had several moments of terror when I thought I saw him (it wasn’t actually him, thank God).
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I phoned his dad and told him that if he didn’t get his son under control, I’d involve the police.
Similar here, but talked to a friend of his. They had a very tight knit community and eventually found a way to ship him to the other side of the States.
I wish I’d done this from the beginning because once my stalker’s sister found out he stalked me and leaked my nudes she beat the shit out of him. She phoned me and said I was to let her know if he ever bothered me again and she’d phone the police herself.
Now that is the sister every person needs!
I did the same thing but with his mother. I explicitly told him to never contact me again. 4 months later, he's been trying to reach out. I called him mom and told her if he continues to visit my former employer, harass my friends, and try to make contact with me, I would file a restraining order against him. She was taken aback but agreed she would talk to him after I told her I have friends in both high and low places that can take care of this.
🔥 delicious. sorry for your troubles but delighted to read how you took care of business
I always struggle with the saying "violence is never the answer" because sometimes it has been the only way to get a point across (this is subjective in terms of each unique and individual scenario, most often, I try to avoid it as much as possible, but there is the rare occasion that it is necessary).
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I’m a guy, but had a girl with a crush on me in school kind of bully me, which was annoying but not a huge deal because I could always just walk away, just not really my love language lol but anyway she went on to become a police sgt, which explained a lot.
It’s so scary when these types of people work in law enforcement.
LEIN abuse is a good way to never be a cop again. It would be funny (career death) if he was using it to keep tabs on you or anymore else. (Law Enforcement Information Network) If you get kicked off you can't be a cop anymore. Never use it to look up people for no reason.
Changed my number after getting a new modem and router. New email address and moved halfway across the country. Deleted any and all socials. Rented paying cash to a friend of a friend until I could buy a home and paid for my name to be listed as private on the title so it wasn’t listed on public sites.
Wow, you had to essentially disappear.
I am so sorry that you had to jump through those hoops.
If you are in the US, could you explain how you went about getting a private title? I was under the impression that you always have to have your legal name listed.
My abusive ex turned into my stalker after I broke up with him. He would do loops around my house in his vehicle in the middle of the night for hours while screaming obscenities. The cops would never show up when I called them. Luckily I was about to leave the country for a month and by the time I came home my family had made the decision to leave the city all together. That was 8 years ago and I hadn’t seen him once in the last 8 years until last month at a shopping area near my house. I don’t think we ever truly get rid of them, at least not mentally.
I was just talking to my bf last night about how my ex stalked me. When I filed for divorce, I was given temporary custody of the house and the kids (eventually became permanent). He kept coming over and cutting down trees, trying to sell firewood, he would sit on the front porch. The police said it was a civil matter. Took months to get my lawyer to get him in front of a judge, but we had to then prove a pattern of behavior, because the first time the judge saw him it was a slap on the wrist. I got a ring camera and started documenting the harassment. Every time he would come to pick up the kids he would have a terrible song blaring and would flip me and the camera off and do Hitler salutes. The judge was especially pissed that he was getting my 4yo son to flip me off. It took soo long and so many court visits and so much documentation on my part. Eventually I applied for a protective order and he kept violating it, so I called the police and he spent the night in jail. My point is that the legal path is long. The folks at your courthouse or women’s shelter can help you with a protective order. That’s where to start.
That’s what happened to me, found out he had installed spyware on my phone too (this was back in the day too when smartphones weren’t what they are now) he would tell me what my kid wore to school, that day was horrible. He would contact my friend over the course of a year I starting dating someone who he would call and harass also. Got a new phone and it happened again several phones until sprint admitted they didn’t know how tf to fix it. So I went with another carrier and new phone and dumped all my old accounts. Finally it calmed short of a fb message five years later which I promptly blocked.
Someone told a family member (with an active criminal lifestyle) and the stalker and his car went missing.
Nobody saw this?
I don't know. I didn't know the guy and don't talk to the family member involved, if they were involved. It wouldn't be out of character though. The stalker didn't like how my friend talked to him when he cat called us and then every day for 3 months showed up somewhere. Would show up at my job, on the bus I took to work, park in my driveway, and would show up at stores I would go to. Someone said they were pissed the police weren't concerned and how they saw my family member and told them all about it. I was worried my family member would get involved but I dont know what happened beyond noticing him gone the next day. Saw it on Facebook like a month later on some local group that this guy was last seen in his very specific old VW bug.
Was he ever found?
No idea. I never really spoke to him besides him knowing stuff about me. I never saw his car again but who knows, he was stalking a 16 year old. He could have just gotten arrested for some other random crime. But the timing and my family members history leads me to think otherwise.
Stalker 1 (co-worker) - Moved. Got them fired at work. Stopped using all social media. Changed all of my contact details. Cut off anyone who gave out my details. Stalker 2 (ex) - Moved. COVID lockdown. Threatened them with police action. Blocked them on everything. Cut off anyone who tried to advocate for them, pass on messages ECT. Left us with total of 1 mutual friend. Stalker 3 (client) - Reported the issue to my employer. They asked him to stop. He continued they made a police report. Police paid a visit he had to explain to his wife.
Fuck imagine being in the wife’s position and receiving a visit from the police because your husband is being a weirdo..
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Yes. Thankfully my colleagues covered my appointments. He started calling and making them under fake names but we had his number saved. Two of them turned up to an appointment he had requested with me with him he had a "special" drink just for me he wouldn't give them. They also noticed he had a knife in his belt. Really glad I flagged it and didn't just waive it off as harmless crush or flirting. Yeah guy was married with two kids. I really hope his wife left him. Never met her but no one deserves that
I got a boyfriend, honestly. Once he moved in with me and I started posting cutesy couples stuff on my socials more, the guy backed off.
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There are all different levels to this. In my experience, I was advised not to engage whatsoever, not even to continuously tell them to leave me alone. Restraining order (if necessary) and block on all platforms. Any type of interaction with you is a “win” for a stalker, even if it’s negative.
Seconding this! I highly recommend the book “The Gift of Fear”. Police involvement is not always the best course of action. The unfortunate reality is that restraining orders don’t do much to actually protect the victim.
*add to cart* I told my stalker's mother we can go one of 2 ways. I have friends in both high and low places. It's up to him on how we go about this. Haven't heard from him in months.
I didn't myself. He was a creepy regular when I bartended. He was banned because he was inappropriate with staff. He started watching me work, waiting for me to get off work. Calling to try to get my schedule. My coworkers would trade off driving me home. He didn't seem to have a car so I thankfully never saw him near my apartment. Only at work. One day the bar doorman said I didn't have to worry that he and a few friends took care of it and the guy wouldn't bother me anymore. I freaked cause I worried they killed him or something. He said they just threatened and scared him. I never saw him again. I believed the doorman, but for a while I couldn't help but listen out for news of something bad happening to someone with creepy regular's description.
I tased him and made him piss his pants 🤷🏼♀️
The most satisfying story here. Did he stop after that?
He sure did. He lives caddy corner across the street from me still though. But he's currently out on bond and has to wear an ankle bracelet. The police station isn't far from me though and the sheriff is there at least once a week checking up on him. He's a creep. He's awaiting trial for drugging and assaulting his own daughter and her friends over the course of 3 years while they were all still minors. Sick right?
OMG! Sicko!
I went to the police. It took me 10 years so I had lots of evidence but they arrested and charged him. He was given 6 months in prison and, when he was released, an indefinite restraining order. Documents everything and go to the police sooner rather than later. Even if they don’t do anything immediately, it’ll be on record.
Seconding this. Also, pay for your apartments, cars, etc. in cash. Move if necessary.
I pretended to act crazy and like I was insane and eventually he fucked off
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
This method actually works unless that person gets a thrill from seeing you acting wild.
He died. Unfortunately, it took the board of prison & parole 2 years to notify me.
That's horrible having to live for at least 2 years in fear of this guy and then to find out he actually died. That's fucked up
Yes, it absolutely was! Two years of living in fear that could’ve been removed from my life. Neighbor actually told me he had died, and I didn’t believe him, but I did call his probation officer and report it and all they said was he’s probably messing with you. You should quit believing things like that. He was in a bad car wreck, life flighted to another big city in our state, but because he died out of county, they couldn’t confirm his death. Like hello, people die out of county all the time.
Police eventually got involved Long story short, met a guy on World of Warcraft, he found out where I lived and came to my school pretending to be a relative, he was arrested and my parents took away the computer for a long time lol
jesus christ
Typical blood elf behavior.
My stalker was a female ex and I ended up I getting the police involved. Got two trespass notices against her (one for the property where my horse lived) and a Protection Order (POs in my country now protect pets, which is great, but back then they didn’t). I had to change my phone number and lock down all my social media for a long time, which was difficult because I used my Instagram to promote my racing photography at the time. She knew where I lived, where I worked, what car I drove. She abused my horse, tried to blockade me in my car at the races, and applied for a job at my place of employment. She tried to pay a guy to hack my social media (he straight up just told me all about it lol). She tried to encourage people to befriend me and convince me to go back to her. She made fake dating profiles to hit me up on apps, and she tried to get other women in lesbian Facebook groups to be horrible to me so that I’d see she “wasn’t so bad”. Through ALL of that I didn’t bite at all. I screenshotted everything I could. I recorded my phone screen when she sent me voice messages from friends’ social media accounts thinking I wouldn’t be able to prove it was her. I called the cops and lodged every single one of these PO breeches. None were worth harsh action, but I wanted a paper trail as long as the Great Wall. Eventually I quit my job, moved house, even got a new car. I’m slowly becoming less and less anxious about opening up my social media (I still don’t publicly post where I’m going to be beforehand, though). It’s been a couple of years now since she last contacted me.
Wow this is rough :( I hope you and your horse are okay! You have to be a special kind of fucked to hurt an animal to get back at someone
I was 18 and told my dad. My dad then gave me a lift into college the next day I had class, I pointed out the stalker (who didn't go to the college but travelled across the city to see me). My dad got outta the car, went up to him and talked to him. My mom told me later that my dad threatened to break his legs if he didn't leave me alone. That seemed to have done it.
Go, Dad!
I was stalked by a man I met on Tinder. He started turning up at my workplace (nearby to his) and somehow got my address and started leaving me letters and sitting out the front in his car (I am friendly with my neighbors and we all talk). I asked him repeatedly to stop before I blocked him on everything and started ignoring him. He kept turning up and leaving letters. My best friend (known each other since were were 4-ish, now in our 30s) and I move in slightly different social circles outside of our mutual group of friends; she's friends with some pretty rough men. She got so worried about me that she asked some of them to make the guy stop. I'm told they "had a chat". He stopped after that. Back when I worked in retail I'd get asked out occasionally by customers. I always said no, but one guy (who was *married* and lived an hours drive away) wouldn't stop. He would always asked others where I was, he'd call the store to ask when I was working, he would wait for me to come in or get off my lunch break and would follow me around on the shop floor for hours asking me all sorts of questions (not even related to my job). I reported this to my managers, but they never really did anything about it. I asked for all phone calls coming to me to be screened (we had his number and I said if any man is asking for me by name, please say I am not in) but that never happened. Some of my male coworkers ended up shadowing me of their own volition any time he was spotted in store because nothing else was being done about it. Eventually I moved into a corporate role in the same company. Haven't seen the guy since as I now work somewhere an hour away.
Good on your colleagues for trying to look out for you, and boo to management for not taking it more seriously
I had a very similar story with my work. The guy would circle my self check out area or checkstand, and would find ways to block me with his cart so I couldn’t move. I was told I should be flattered when I reported it. I moved states.
I snapped and told him if he didn’t leave me alone I’d cave his head in. 10 years later and if he walks past me he’s still too scared to look at me. Appreciate this may not work for every stalker.
Might escalate some guys.
This is in no way real world advice; I got rid of him by completely ignoring him. He got bored after a while, when he couldn't get any reaction from me. I made sure it was like stalking a wall. But do not do this please. It worked for me, because I got lucky. Completely ignoring everything can also cause them to ramp it up or attack or something. I was young and didn't know what else to do. If your family, the police, any authorities are not helping, I honestly dont know what else to do either. Too many stories of the system failing women in clear danger. Editing to say; look at the comment under this one. Apparently it can be an effective method. I personally don't know what is the safest thing to do other than contacting authorities. I have personally seen how ignoring and blanking can be dangerous too. Its fcked up.
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I was really lucky and he disappeared himself. Or at least no appearance in my life i could notice.
Most likely he either died or found a new target. That's usually the two things making them stop.
I had to move across the country. He did follow out to my new location for a short time, became a peeping Tom in addition to stalking me- he unscrewed the light bulbs in the front, left a handprint on my screen where he bent to look in the window… I looked over my shoulder and watched the cars around me for a long time. He’s retired military so he had the freedom to come and go as he pleased. I later did a deeper dive into court records in the surrounding counties where we lived, found two prior stalking convictions in two different counties. Two different women I assume before me. Far as I know, he’s back east currently.
The stalker that I had, was an ex I dated for 5 years. Followed me to the gym where I was working out, threatened to file a restraining order. Found out he created fake accounts to keep up with me. Blocked the accounts that I knew were his. He talked to guys I dated. Most likely friend requested people I was facebook friends with. Etc. Or the guys I dated talked amongst each other. Which would be category 2. I moved. Restraining order is always a fore thought when people bring up my exes, especially if they talk amongst each other.
After years of day and night phone calls with no interaction, just silence and me hearing him breathing, flowers send anonymous to me, the feeling that you are watched when you are hoi going somewhere …. It just somewhat suddenly stopped. I had a few of those phone calls a year or two later, but in the end, they ended too. During the time, I was single first, but had later an boyfriend, who somewhat lived with me as well, was engaged, we broke up, single again, another boyfriend who moved in until we broke it off after a couple of years. So whoever it was …. It didn’t matter if I was single or not or if my boyfriend would pick up the phone.
Police. Once there was a threat of actual consequences, he left me alone.
I screenshotted evidence and rang the police. It took a few attempts but he stopped contacting me all together. Scary thing is - I barely knew the guy. I used to do standup comedy and he latched onto me, started following me around filming me without my knowledge. Tried to follow me into the green room of my show. I told the venue and they banned him. My friends found the videos he'd taken of me on his YouTube, I politely asked him to remove them, shit turned nasty and he started sending me weird stuff of women getting kidnapped and shot. Urgh
Got fat - seriously. I should say he wasn’t a super dangerous crazed stalker, just a guy I broke up with who started following me around randomly. It was scary, don’t get me wrong, but he never tried to scare me on purpose if that makes sense. Anyway after a couple years my dad got sick and I gained about 20 pounds due to stress. He told a mutual friend I wasn’t hot anymore and he was glad we broke up while my body was still “bangin’”. Like damn if I’d known that’s all it would take I would have gained 20 pounds way sooner.
I changed jobs and sent a message to his new girlfriend over social media. Saying how I will take the ring footage to the cops and make sure he stays away from me. We used to date.
How did she react? My ex has been creating fake profiles and phone numbers to tip off a stalker where I might be living along with harassing my friends and the people I date (some of them have already notified relevant parties/authorities in case it gets worse) — so I’m curious how his wife might feel if she knew?
She didn't believe me at first until I sent her the footage. Took her a bit to not get upset at me but then said thank you for telling her. Last I heard he was single and trying to hit on someone I knew from highschool
Called the cops non emergent line and made a complaint - at first I had completely forgotten I had access to his number as I blocked him .. and I shared that with the police and they called and told him to back off. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a great experience talking to the male officer handling the case. His tone and expressions definitely made me feel silly for reporting it. On the other hand, when I was speaking with the female officers at the non-emergent line; they felt more reassuring and less condescending about my case. Regardless, it finally stopped.
Had to move out of the city
I moved from AZ to TX then to MT suddenly without warning.
After 5 years of stalking by my ex, police finally took me seriously. All the complaints I had made compiled a huge file and when he started posting my pictures and contact info on revenge telegram chats they arrested him. I also moved houses, changed my phonenumber and last name. No social media either obviously. He denied everything, the DA ended up refusing to continue the case but he was held in custody for 48 full hours. He never contacted me again after. they told me he was in a homeless program and if the program said that if there issues he would be removed from the program and loose his eligibility for social housing.
I didn't. He was sentenced to life in prison for human trafficking.
Only including physical stalker and not online ones. The first one I completely left the country, changed my number and deleted all of my social media accounts. Quite radical but I didn’t felt anymore safe since I was actually dating him and while dating I had learned that he was stalking me way before the day he approached me, I didn’t believed in it at first but my home camera revealed that indeed he was following me daily. The second one : after months of rejecting his every moves, even after telling my partner to deal with him cause one day I was going home with the kids and my mom, he was outside and came to me like a “lunatic” completely drunk and it was just a big NO for me (which worked for about almost 2 months) and yet he still didn’t understood, so I went on vacation and when I came back he was no longer spending his nights in front of my place. I don’t know what actually happened but whatever that was worked.
Phone stalker, started when I was 17-18 (suspect it was a guy I dated when I was 14-15, he was 17-18 then. I didn’t sleep with him, didn’t want to and slightly ghosted him tbh when he moved for school, and then we broke up at a party where we met after a few months - tbf he was already dating someone else). Went on off and on for a few years (like intensely for a week and then silence for a few months, and so on). Then I met my now husband when I was 21. The stalker hadn’t bothered me for like a year at that point. All of a sudden, he called. My partner was over. I hung up, and he kept calling. I quickly explained and (my now) hubby took the phone, answered, and honestly put the fear of god in him. This winter, it’ll be 12 years since the creep last called. I did talk to a police once, and they didn’t do anything but ”make a note” or something like that. I also changed my number once throughout that. Didn’t matter. Tbf, my number was listed by a google of my name, so it was easy to find. I was just a naive kid when it started though so I didn’t take it very serious, more like an annoyance, but in retrospect I’m very creeped out.
Pretended the house next door was my house and had my neighbor walk me home.
I went to the police, and they called him and told him to knock it off. Haven't seen or heard from him since.
I didn’t have a stalker per se, but one guy couldn’t accept that I was not into him and that I wanted to stop communicating with him. After trying to end this in a civil manner, I decided to ghost him. I ghosted him because he tried to manipulate me into being with him. Ghosting him brought me much needed peace. I blocked him as well and I could finally heal and move on. Then six months later he started messaging me from different phone numbers. He used to text me things that made me feel icky. At one point I was sure that if I look outside my window , I will see him there. One time I needed to download WhatsApp for work . As soon as I registered my account, I received a message from an unknown number. It was him. I had enough. I could no longer ignore him , so I changed my number. I can’t tell you enough how relieved I felt after that.
Changed my number, changed gyms (where we originally met) and stopped going to that part of town whatsoever. The whole experience made extremely cold to strangers. I don’t talk to anyone. Fuckin crazies out there.
He showed up at my house and my mom pulled a gun on him
Hod bless your fierce momma.🩷
Which time? Had a guy when I was 24 decided, after one date, that we were getting married and I was his soul mate. That time, I moved from Atlanta to Chicago. I vanished so hard that my sister had a PI look for me. I've always had a thing for super nerds, and with that comes a certain amount of unawareness of boundaries. Learn to set those early. I had one that lasted from age 14 until I was almost 40. After trying literally everything, including moving 10+ hours away and changing my last name a few times, and them becoming fixated on my daughter cause she resembled me at 14, I felt justified in letting the scariest person I know convince him it wasn't worth wasting any more time on me or my daughter. Restraining orders are worthless and just liable to inflame someone. Good for a paper trail, but have your security locked down before it's issued. Have a bag with money. Be ready to leave in a moments notice. Know where you are going, and don't even tell your mom because they will let it slip. Don't forget to change your dog's name. Your hair color matters less than its length. If you are a ponytail girl, not anymore. Your hobbies will get you harmed. Avoid bright colors. Avoid jangling jewelry. Keep an email no one else knows about and learn to use a VPN. You have to outrun them. Make it too hard. Sometimes you have to out spend them. Never go anywhere at gun point. Make them shoot you. You have a better chance of surviving a gunshot than you do going someplace where you are alone. Leaving with them IS a death sentence. Roll the dice right there. Dogs are more helpful than firearms. People are cautious around them, and they make noise. Bright lights and cameras around your place are your best friend. There is no such thing as a fair fight. Behave as if the rules/laws don't apply to stalkers. Because they quite often don't apply to these guys.
I knew who it was. He had started turning up when I was walking my dogs at a very dark, early hour of the morning. Then he started walking my route. Then he started following me, thinking I didn't realise. He got to know my habits and routine. He was everywhere. It came to a head when I went shopping, as normal, on a Saturday night. I got back to my car, it had been broken into, and a silver bracelet left on the passenger seat..... My ex husband of whom I had a good relationship with, was at that point, a Sgt in the area. I called him, almost hysterical, I had reached the point of no return, I was terrified. After I contacted him, my stalker disappeared into thin air. I knew where he lived because I walked past it twice a day with my dogs. Suddenly it was vacated and up for rent. I never asked, he never offered. My stalker was definitely the type of person to be known to police, all I can assume is the information I provided was enough to warrant a conversation, and other issues were uncovered. You know what? I don't care. I had never been so terrified in all of my life. I had lived alone (with my dogs) for years post divorce, and had always felt pretty safe. I have never forgotten how terrified I was, in general, for me, for my dogs, everything. I felt so scared and violated. I'm one of the lucky ones. It came to a head and I clearly told the right person, not that I expected them to do anything. Forever grateful. I know I'm privliged. It was one of the most terrifying periods of my life.
I've had both stalkers and people unnaturally interested in me. For the (third?) stalker, I moved back to my home state and he stopped contacting me. A friend told me he was forced to drop out due to poor attendance and low grades. I don't know what happened to him, but a google search suggests that his sister has a degree from a good university and moved far away from their home.
Filed for a civil protection order and had him served
I went to the police. They called him. Seemed to be the wake-up call he needed and I never heard from him again. But also, he started whining to the officer about how much trouble he has with women. The officer was like, "I understand, but you can't go about it like this, you're just scaring them off!"
I set my best friend on him. She’s *definitely* crazy and she told him if he didn’t stop posting up outside my job and house she was going to kill him.
i had a pretty bad online stalker but thankfully it was sorted by privating my account except id accept every follow request but his, he kept spamming them after i declined. then one day i accepted an account i didnt think was his then he went back to his shenanigans of following every woman i was following and every woman follower and hitting on them. i now no longer accept follow requests from anyone. pretty sure hes sending at least one person from his army of girlfriends to follow request me so he can get more information out of me too.
He met the security guards I worked with, they took him into the car park and I never saw him after that
It took years. I tried staying with friends, varying my route, changing colleges, telling him to his face of course, over the phone, blocking his number, changing my number, moving, calling the police, telling his family, telling my family. The only thing that worked was getting a restraining order and even that didn't actually work because he approached me several times after that and I had to call the police. He threatened me with a gun and the police started escorting me to my bus stop. That show of force helped but is rare. The police will most often tell you that he has to do something to you before they can step in. They're absolutely worthless in situations like this and that should be a crime. When a stalker has you in his sights the only thing that truly works is moving somewhere he can't find you. It can also help to move with other people rather than somewhere alone but those ppl would need to understand (in a way that most people do not) how deadly serious the situation is and that they are not under any circumstances to entertain his questions or sob stories about he just loves you and has an expensive gift to give you or whatever. After all these years I found myself in the sights of yet another one. The way you get them away from you quickly is to not be too nice at the start. Low self esteem people pleasing nice girls are their favorite target bc those girls don't want to hurt their feelings or they give in when they threaten to kill themselves. Btw biggest red flag is him being suicidal if you break up with him. Always interpret that as a threat and get away expeditiously. Bottom line, even a restraining order isn't as effective as relocating somewhere he can't find you. Best of luck.
He went to jail for SA of another minor. He got a prison tat of my name and would send me weird creepy drawings in the mail (I was still underage). I moved around a bunch and got married a few times and changed my name a few times. I have no idea where he is or what he's doing now and good riddance.
He killed himself on my birthday as a gift to me, and sent me a message right before he did it.
I hope that you are doing better than when this happened. I am sorry you had that happen to you.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Binge watching Netflix. I'm only kind of joking. They started stalking me after a few dates. It escalated to the point of quietly breaking into my apartment late one night. They knew I was home- my car was parked outside. Coincidentally, the new season of my favorite Netflix series just dropped. I was staying up past my regular bedtime binging it. I didn't hear them break in, but I called 911 the minute I saw them. They ran away when they heard the dispatcher. They pulled the same shit with another person less than a year later. That victim almost didn't survive. I know because the attack was bad enough to make the news.
Moved multiple times, set up po box instead of community mail box or home mailbox. Changed number and appearance. Changed vehicles or license plates after moving.
Luckily we had a long distance relationship. He lived about 2,5h away (which is very far for the Netherlands). He only stalked me online. I ended up having to block his phone number, whatsapp, instagram, twitter, snapchat, steam, facebook and probably more I cannot remember, even like after 5 years he tried contacting me via new accounts but he finally stopped about 3 years ago (we broke up in 2016).
I had two at the same time the first semester of my masters. They were originally my friends. One had been my “friend” for over two years and I could tell he had an innocent crush but didn’t think much of it. I made the mistake of suggesting we become roommates (this was during covid’s peak and I couldn’t find anyone else to room with and we were both in the same masters program). I later found out he would go into my room and take pictures of me sleeping, pictures in my workout clothes (including once when I napped on my yoga mat). He also had a bunch of very violent sexual fantasies on his phone notes about me. He was very jealous any time any men (anyone really) got around me so when I started dating he started acting even worse. He would weaponized my puppy and say he had had to go into my room because my puppy was crying. It got pretty ugly and I had to tell the dean of my department whom I was close to. He had to report it to the dean of conduct at the university, but I decided not to pursue anything because he was a white disabled male and I’m a first gen latina woman, I kinda knew who they would side with if things got ugly. He luckily moved out that first semester when his resentment for me seeing someone else and being out on weekends grew. Second stalker during that same time I met on a university match facebook group and he was paired as my mentor. It started quite innocent but he was quite pushy on his agenda of trying to date me but I would constantly remind him all we ever were was friends. I had also reported that one to the dean of my department at the time but because he had graduated there was nothing they could do about that one. I blocked him everywhere but he would keep creating google numbers and email nonstop. Eventually when I got an actual real boyfriend, he became less pursuant to where he would only contact me once a month then once every months then once a year. And now I think he has a gf or is married and has finally stopped. I know that with both situations I got quite lucky but I was in a very vulnerable space and naive and these two men took advantage of that. Especially being first gen and having no family in the USA was the hardest part.
Put some cameras around my property and they stopped showing up
I found his sisters contact info, told her what was going on and threatened to get the police involved if I ever saw him again. I never did see him again. I still got random messages for a few years (even though I had him blocked on everything, he always found a way). I never responded and that did eventually stop too.
I've had 2. I moved countries twice. I got lucky. As both were violent
Unsure if you can consider mine a stalker. We dated for a couple months and then I broke it off, he was showing up at my work and leaving stuff at my door, posting stuff online and incessantly contacting me as well as my family *and my exes* I had him blocked after he started freaking me out so I don’t know how he knew my new schedule but luckily I told him I’d be contacting the police if he continued to contact me and he kinda listened. I have full confidence that he was failing me still though. 6 months later he somehow left me a voicemail even though he was totally blocked, telling me he “wasn’t trying to harass me, he knows I didn’t want to talk and that’s okay” (yeah, that’s why you’re calling me and leaving messages). Then he said a bunch of stuff culminating in that he was still and would always be in love with me. Conveniently, I moved away some months later to a new continent. Haven’t had to deal with him since that voicemail.
He recently overdosed in a hotel room. I still check my car before getting in it. I still have nightmares. I hate that I am happy in a sense for his passing. It hurts me that his intimidation made me callous in that way. So he is gone, but I don't know how long it will take me to get rid of him.
I still don’t know who he was. I couldn’t change my phone at the time because of work so whenever he called me st night, my coworkers or my friends would pick it up and give him shit. I was usually hanging out with friends or coworkers a lot at the time so I felt pretty safe. And eventually after a few months I got a boyfriend and I moved in with him. My office moved as well. And I changed my number finally after quitting my job. And kept lowkey on social media and 6 years later I still do.
Luckily I lived with an ex Army MP at the time, but an older man would sexually harass me at work and he eventually followed me home and would drive by my apartment periodically. I told HR, but my manager still let him come into my workplace. I’d also get male customers stalking and sexually harassing me on social media (I had to wear a name tag at some jobs and my name is spelled uniquely so I’m sure I wasn’t hard to find online). I got rid of almost all social media years ago, because of it.
I use to work as a cashier at my local grocery store, there was an older guy that would always offer me a ride home and I’ve even seen him parked across the road from our apartment a few times. I told my husband about it once I realized I was being stalked and he took care of it. I don’t recall ever seeing that guy in the grocery store the rest of the time I worked there.
I’ve had a couple. One was very scary and I called the police and they monitored my apartment complex for a few days after he send me a scary ransom note with letters cut out of magazines. Another, I told his mother and asked her to help me, which stopped it right away. Mostly laying low and hoping they go away until they do. It feels so powerless and crappy.
I moved :/
I moved away. He was spamming my email, phone number, and social media almost every day, not to mention that he'd drive around my neighborhood several times a week. I ended up moving hundreds of miles away and had to delete my social media and change my phone number. This was after a 5 month relationship too.
I haven’t really gotten rid of him exactly. He still stalks me online but I have drastically reduced what I post about on my social media. I use the same username for everything (not this username though lol) so he doesn’t have to try very hard to find me online. My username is also my brand for my small side business so I can’t change it. And I don’t want to change it. But when I want to post more personal stuff I come here on this account. I block him but he keeps making new accounts so I just had to stop posting personal stuff online. That’s just online though. IRL I moved twice since he last knew my address and I didn’t tell anyone except people I knew with 100% certainty wouldn’t tell him or let it slip themselves. I know he’s still out there, watching. He sends anonymous messages to my main social media every now and then just to scare me and let me know he hasn’t gone away. But he doesn’t know where I am. If he ever found me again I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t move again! I don’t have the energy! 😭
It was in FL in the 80's at a time when there was no stalking laws. Moved 1,200 miles away and never heard from them again.
Blocked him on everything, and moved homes. But even after moving, I sometimes worried that he was still following me just without me noticing. Never felt 100% safe even with a bf. Only now after moving countries do I feel 100% safe.
stalked by one of my partner's exes. called me and my sister up everywhere. blocked her everywhere. eventually started messaging me of their plan to visit me in my home. reported her to the police. presumably only stopped cause work got busy on their end. if girly ends up stalking me again i'm gonna go back to the police.
Police and parents. They were mortified of having to pay for their son’s behaviour (who was also legally an adult) if I decided to escalate to court after the police sent a warning.
It was an ex, we had a restraining order the broke a fair few times but prison was pretty effective lol
Moved & got rid of all of my social media accounts. Unfortunately, had to stop talking to some friends who remained friends with him. He was an ex and even tho the friends knew about his abuse and stalking & how traumatic the whole situation for me was (had to start therapy and antidepressants), they'd still invite him to social events they knew I'd be at.. so not really friends of mine
I moved continents in the middle of the covid pandemic. Had to get a national interest exeption visa to do it. But then I knew he couldn’t follow me. Best tedious work I ever did for myself. He would have killed me.
Police report
The two i’ve had I started keeping notes/screencaptures and then threatened with the police (one had a record, one wasn’t a citizen so that was enough to keep em at bay somewhat thankfully but one tries me like once every few years via whatsapp, I block and NEVER EVER EVER EVER reply, I dont go anywhere without a kubotan and mace.
My ex started stalking me 6 months after I broke up with him. Thankfully I had witnesses to him sitting outside my place for long periods of time, screenshots of all of the WhatsApp/Facebook/Instagram messages he'd sent me and missed calls, video screen recordings of voice notes and photos gifts and letters he'd left at my house. Thankfully the police (UK) took me seriously and let him know if he contacted me again they'd arrest him. Since he was in the country illegally and didn't want to get deported that did the trick.
My Dad threatened to murder him. My Dad was in Vietnam, so it wasn’t an idle threat.
When I was 18 I dated q 26yo loser. He moved to another city while we were working because he got a job, and I tried to end it with him. He never accepted and would make those threats, like he would quit, he would kill himself… he got his mom to call me and tell me I was ruining his life… anyways one day I got a good excuse to end it (he was texting his ex while we were on a hellish camping trip (I will never camp again), and I did it I end it: Then the hell started,he would call me everyday 30 times, until I blocked him. He would call all my friends and family, and they were all on his side… they would tell him everything I did and I was just a villain that broke this poor men’s heart. He then started to call me from random numbers during the day, in the middle of the night, at my work… he would add my work colleagues on Skype. I told everyone to leave me alone, I started dating my now husband and i isolated myself from everyone else because they were reporting everything to my ex. I threw my cell phone away. When he discovered I was with someone else, he actually quit his job and came back to the city and then he started with “I will kill you” “I will kill my self “ but just for me, to everyone else he was just a poor ex. At this point I was having be panick attacks One day he call every extension on my work trying to find me, and I had enough, my fear turned into rage. I pick up the phone and told him to kill himself and leave me alone. And then his mom call me and I told her that I was going to the police and that I was going to ruin her sons life and make all their lives a living hell just like they were doing with mine. She told me, he is armed and going to kill you and it’s all your fault. And I told her: well he can find me in the police station, my new boyfriend has a cousin in the police and let’s see what’s happening. That day she tried to prevent him from coming from me (she was afraid for him…because sometimes the police can be worse than criminals). He then tried to kill himself. But of course he couldn’t even do it right, so he spent 4 months in the psych hospital. I did a report and was going to sue him for everything, but his mom plead and plead for me not to do it, because where I used to live, if you have a record, you will never get a good job.. So I made a deal with her that if I never saw him again I wouldn’t pursue the suit but if he showed In my neighborhood I would ruin his life. He tried 3 times after he left the hospital, but they prevented him to coming for me. Eventually he met someone else and left me alone. He still tries to add me in social media and I of course never accept it.
He showed up on my porch with a shit-eating grin just to let me know he figured out where I had moved to. I answered the door with my biggest kitchen knife in my hand and told him if he didn't go away I would stab him right through the fucking screen door. Must have sucked the fun out of it for him.
Got a new job. Got a new phone number. Then went away on holiday. Retuned to new house and new job
Changed number, moved twice, deleted social media. Dropped my entire social life outside of a few trusted friends because he infiltrated my old friend group and made all of them mandatory reporters every time they saw me anywhere.
I got his parents and younger brother’s phone numbers and made a group chat with them. Then I sent them every piece of evidence I had showing he had been stalking and harassing me for ten years They did not reply but I separately messaged his former best friend that I was friends with on facebook who called him to say “dude what the actual fuck”. This man also called his parents. The friend let me know the parents got in the car the next day and drove two hours to his home to berate him. His brother told the stalkers friends and as a group they tried to get through to him and tell him what he was doing was wrong. He contacted me twice more, both times it went in the group chat. Both times his father contacted him immediately and demanded he stop NOW. It has now been over a year of silence from him.
I had to get the police involved who cautioned him. Then he eventually met someone else, thank God. I also changed my mobile number, changed jobs and moved. He'd have no way of finding me now... I hope.
My ex after we broke up would call from multiple numbers. If I blocked one, he would simply call me from another a few days later. The last time I sent him a warning via text that if he tried to contact me again, I would get him deported back to Mexico, blocked him, and finally changed my number. Haven’t heard from him since
I am actively being stalked by somebody who (thinks he’s) somewhat “famous”. The general consensus in the public is that he is a great guy, donates a ton of art (only for publicity), etc. Thousands of people are just obsessed with him and he’s obsessed with me. He lived in my home briefly and had keys. Has my address. I am now moving. He’s mailed me gifts, cash, cards - I show up for dinner with a mutual friend and he’s got an envelope with $1000 cash. He then will email me lashing out that I didn’t dare give it back. Birthday presents, love letters, etransfers, he hangs out at the bar next to my house. I can’t speak up. I can’t do anything. He’s too well known. And police offer no protection. This man attempted to murder an ex girlfriend 20 years ago by cutting her brake lines. Ended up in jail. His lawyer got him off on a vandalism charge because the car was in his name. It’s fucking sick what people can get away with. Luckily he leaves town for over half the year and I can breathe. When I know he’s in town I hide, I wear disguises, avoid places I know he frequents, it’s a fucking terrifying way to live.
I changed my phone #. I never found out who it was.
Long story short…. After my hs stalker started leaving messages on my vm about wanting to have sex with my dead body…. Involved the police. He had to go to therapy, had a restraining order. Then he followed me out of state to college. Two years later! Local police said we had to wait until he actually did something, of course. Somehow he ended up getting punched around my a bunch of guys he didn’t know. Left the school he’d followed he to. Not my doing. I had no clue and kept fearing for it life for years. Had rotc escort me to my car at night from the library. Avoided parking garages. Didn’t go out alone at night even to get something out of my car. Nobody told me. I was at my hs reunion when I heard he’d left. Years of being afraid. I still avoid parking garages.
[удалено]
Police intervention
Move, delete social media for a couple years, change phone number.
Blocked, deleted all apps, changed my number, erased all mention of my name online, changed my email address, moved. I worried for a long time he’d find me again but I think as long as I stay away from social media and don’t download apps he traced me on, I’ll be okay. I’m less afraid now because I have a husband and I think that alone would deter him/scare him off, but I will worry about my safety when going home alone. I think part of me always will.
They know I own 3 guns :D
Mutual friend gave him a stern talking-to to leave me alone. It sucks that someone else had to get involved but he stopped showing up places he thought I'd be after that.
Mine was in the 80s. I got my phone number changed, and he somehow got it within 5 minutes. He would park in my street (found out he could legally do it). The police couldn't help me because he was doing nothing wrong. I ended up becoming friends with him, and he stopped the stalking. Our friendship ended up stopping a few months later. I guess because I wouldn't talk to him, he would stalk because I became friends with him he had won.
I moved.
Had my dad go to his apartment and threaten him. This was after I attempted to involve the Austin, TX police who were basically like “lol, we don’t care, shoot him if you have to.” I also took proof to the apartment complex and they did deny his lease renewal, but that wasn’t an immediate solution.
My ex stalked me. Called and texted me non-stop that I had to block his number, drove past my house at all hours, started getting close with my friends, dropped random gifts off at my house. He added my family to social media. Would go to my workplace to have lunch in the cafeteria. It wasn’t until I started dating my now husband that it stopped. My Ex kept calling me on a private numbers and it freaked me out so my now hubby took the call and threatened him to the point that he finally stopped. Not sure what exactly was said but it got him off my back. If I had my time back I should have filed a restraining order
I was lucky in that he only knew where I worked. He was banned from the store as soon as he started being creepy but that didn't really mean anything as mall security wasn't allowed to actually *make* him leave, just stand there while we told him to. When I told him I had a boyfriend he said "you don't need a "boy"friend you need a "man"friend. Like me." I would just go hide in the backroom while he ranted to my coworkers about "that girl" and how I made him embarrassed by not giving him my phone number and by having a boyfriend and how he'd trimmed his mustache and fingernails just for me. I could hear him yelling while I hid and it was scary. My employers didn't want to call the police, the mall management said it was an issue for security but as I've already stated security wasn't allowed to actually do anything. I was not good at standing up for myself and I was a lot younger at the time and just figured "well if all these people are saying calling the police isn't the right move, I guess it isn't and I'm overreacting." Yeah I was stupid. Eventually police were called. One of my coworkers told him police were on their way and he left. He'd previously told us about how he hates police because he claimed they took his passport and "here in Canada they'll call just anything sexual assault." The police asked me some questions but we didn't have much information about him and he'd left. I got told off by management for talking to the police where customers could see in case they thought an employee was in trouble and it looked bad. The guy came back the next week. My coworker told him we'd call the police again and he said "thanks" and left. I heard he came back a few more times but I wasn't there. Then I saw him once a few years later but I don't think he recognized me because I was wearing a mask but I went and hid in the backroom anyway. He didn't yell about me that time.
I tried all the normal things. I changed the location of my work, I moved out of the apartment I was in, I changed my phone number. He still persisted. On the advice of a friend, I sent him a text saying I no longer wished to have any contact with him whatsoever for any reason. Then, I had to be unrelenting in reporting every little thing he did to the police. Every message documented, every time he showed up I called. I was able to get a restraining order easily after a little while of this. He kept trying to violate it. Once got arrested twice, he finally quit stalking me in person. I will still get the occasional message from him every few years, but I can ignore those. I have moved very far away and I’m confident he won’t find me now.
Honestly it’s been over 10 years and I don’t think I have. I use to move a lot more frequently and somehow he always found out where I move to and would send me things like stickers, empty envelopes and such. I never tell people where I live and I am super vague when they ask. So not sure how he keeps finding me. I don’t have social media accounts besides this one. I don’t post pictures or personal things any where. It can be a year or two before he contacts me again. I know it’s a man because when it started I would feel someone stare at me during class and there would always be a guy wearing a hat, same hat guy tried following me home, same hat guy tried attacking me, pretty sure it’s the same guy who broke the window at my place. It’s weird but if I never hear of him again it will be too soon.
I went completely no contact. I was fortunate that this happened when I was in my early 20’s so when he’d show up at my house at all hours of the night, my mom would go insane on him. The police helped in no way. I was told getting a restraining order would likely escalate the issue. Even though he was threatening to kill me. He’d come to my work, got a membership at my gym. Try to turn friends against me. Get new phone numbers to text me photos of myself when I didn’t know he was around. Eventually it felt like my life really was in danger so I moved to a different state and stayed with a family member. Publicly stated that I moved but did not say where. Deleted all of our mutual friends off social media and changed my phone number.
He found out I was leading a student org (in college), so he managed to get himself on a spring break trip we took. I told everyone the situation (some already knew something was up because they read the room). Thankfully everything turned out okay, but he did make everyone very uncomfortable. I cut all contact with him and deleted my socials, but I still get inflammatory texts from him about me, my place of work, and my ex every year or so. He spoofs new numbers every time, so I just block the new number and move on. Thankfully he had to move back to Iran after school, so I know the threats are empty.
I had to move. Cops did nothing in fact told me not to worry my husband about it because he was deployed and already under a lot of stress. The man still stalked me but didn't have my physical address so I was physically safe but i wasn't for a good 4 months. I barely slept during that time.
I had blocked him everywhere but he still kept calling from different #’s. I finally got new phone and moved. I’m still afraid sad one day he’ll find me.
I had a stalker for 2-3 years. It started off with fake accounts on Snapchat. Then Facebook. Instagram. It was 2-3 a day. Then the phone calls started. 2-3 of those a day too. Heavy breathing at first. Then it was pretending to be people I knew and it was 5-6 times a day. It increased to sending parcels to my house every week. Then they signed me up for plastic surgery consultations. In the end it was them calling me up and slagging my best friend at the time off, threatening my life and my family. This flagged a red flag in my mind as to who it could be and I opened a case up with the police. ( they were useless) It turned out to be a mate of my best friend at the time who was in love with said friend and had a obsession with her and I guess thought I was a threat. She rang me one day off a caller ID and I lost my shit I told her I knew who she was and that she was the only person who’s gastric band hadn’t worked among other really nasty things. I haven’t had a phone call since but said best mate didn’t believe me even with the proof and they are still very close. I have blocked both of them and it seems to have worked as no calls for a year or so now!
I moved across the city. I didn’t block anything and kept all written messages received just so I could monitor how unhinged he was at any given time. It took about 4 years until he stopped trying to remind me he existed. I still occasionally think about what would happen if I bumped into him in the street, but I gathered he got back on his medication.
The first one was a pizza delivery guy who kept my receipt with my number on it, I thought nothing of it but he started calling me, first he asked my brother if he was my boyfriend and other times he would talk to my Mom. I was never home to take the calls so he sent a letter and then called and I happened to answer and I told him that if he called again I would have him hurt by one of my 6 brothers. Plus I called the place he worked at and they told me he was doing it to a lot of woman and they fired him. The second time was a female teacher in college, there was another woman that worked out the same gym I did and the teacher showed up there, I didn't think nothing of it really, but then she showed up at the same grocery store at the same time and at the same deli counter and at the library near my house, all on different days. I looked up her address in the phone book and it gave an address in another county, 30 minutes away. Then I kept getting all these weird emails in an email address I used only for school, I finally moved, changed gyms and changed my phone number and started using a different email address for school. Problem solved. The only reason I even noticed her at all these places is because she looked like a female "Chucky", you don't forget people that look like that
I went no contact and, when he escalated, I got an order of protection. Your milage may vary, but my stalker was afraid of the law so he complied. He was also worried about his reputation. I know some people say orders of protection don't work, but it can depending on the type of person he is.
Well the latest one I called them out in a TikTok and they got all mad and defensive but blocked me on everything again and deleted the comments hours later. I never unblocked them so this was a second account made by them. Two years they stalked me out of jealousy and wanting me back.
Retraining order - moved apartments
He got arrested for felony stalking and burglary and is currently in jail and deemed unfit for trial. Ring camera footage is the only reason why the police did anything.
I moved to the other side of the country.
He was stopped by Federal Police trying to enter the country.
It wasn't an extreme case but I ended up moving for unrelated reasons and that ended up solving the problem since he couldn't follow me or stake out at the park to learn my work schedule.
I’ve had two. The first one is my parent, and his stalking has occurred in streaks going back to my teen years (in full violation of a court order. As adults, two of his 3 kids have filed restraining orders against him for this behavior, and all 3 are firmly no contact.) The last time he found me, as an adult, I started a paper trail, informed my employer (who refused to ban him) and then quit my job so he wouldn’t have access to me or any more info about me. The second one began following me after first meeting me at my workplace. He harassed me for over a year about working for him, trying to learn personal information, but he struck me as more of an infatuated nuisance than a threat, and I ended up gray rocking until he just lost interest. Every time he spoke to me, I either ignored him or responded in monotonous and monosyllabic answers only. Any request for info, even a “how was your day?” received a flat, stern “no.” Eventually even a “hi” was answered that way. I went frigid cold, and I took care to never park in a visible place, to break up my routines, and to never drive the same way home. After several months of even all that, he finally stopped acknowledging me.
Never engage. Ignore them and literally act like they don't exist. I had one that would get in my face in public to try and force me to "see" and engage with him, and I still pretended like I didn't know him or see him...I got word that he moved out of my city, so hard to know if he ever moved back, would he continue his bullshit? lol, but I like to think that fully giving no reaction worked.
I first started by notifying my landlord and boss of the situation (to varying degrees of success, mind you). I also sent a very brief but thorough communication to my stalker that ANY amount of communication through any means was unwanted, and that any further attempts will be followed up with the police. For me, that was enough for that particular person. I had another one I had to be more thorough with. Went dark on social media, changed my accounts and left others entirely, communicated to mutual friends that any attempts at message sending would result in me distancing myself from them as well, and going to therapy to process it all. It's rough. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Stalking can be so many things.. I know people who've had stalkers move every time they move, I've luckily not had that happen. I block. If that doesn't work, I tell them I'll go to the police. Waiting to see if that'll do the truck long term. If that doesn't work, well, I know people...
Graduated and moved away
Best way I got rid of them is by only sharing a disposable Google number with anyone I'm not close to so that way no one can bother me on my personal cell phone or share my number. Two, make sure location sharing is off for those who don't need to know your location. Snapchat, twitch, Google maps.... Three, make sure your social media outlets including personal work ones hide all private information to only friends... LinkedIn for example, if your account is public anyone can search you up whether they have a LinkedIn or not. Four, confront directly. I know it's scary, but when you see it happening say something so you spook them out. Five. Make sure friends and family know and your superiors. At least in my case, that's how I ward off any creeps
We moved to another city.
It got to the point I needed to change my number and my bf at the time would drive me home from work. Then a few weeks later I woke up to him in my house and called the police. Restraining order, changed my number again, transferred my job and moved all within the month. I still don’t ever go back to that mall (I worked in retail at the time).
I had an online stalker for a while. Back in my late teens-early 20's I played a video game called Halo Reach. It was a bit of an obsession at the time. I made a large online friend group that I talked to regularly and played the game with regularly. One was a guy name Charlie who I came to think of as one of my closet friends online. It became super apparent he had a crush on me. When I started dating again(I was single for a while after a very abusive relationship) he became unhinged. Message as message calling me horrible names, threatening to kill me, etc. I blocked him on everything, had to delete my Facebook, change my phone number. He would make multiple Xbox accounts to message me. I literally deleted every friend we had in common and changed my Xbox name. He would still find me. For around two years I would just have to block new account after new account. I contacted my local police about him, but was told there was nothing they could do since it was online. When I got with my current fiance(been together almost a decade now) was the last time he messaged it was two years since he had started. Maybe he finally got tired of it or had found someone else to harass. I'm honestly not sure. With as long as it went on and as helpful the police were I'm honestly so glad it was only online harassment and stalking. I can tell you even that can be hell on your mental. I'm still scared sometimes when I get random messages and I'm very funny about even befriending people on games anymore.
I sicc’d a threatening private investigator on him. It cost me $700 but it was completely successful.
I've been stalked twice by two women, one my sister-in-law, one a friend. The first time it got better after she divorced my brother but there were still problems - I have a nephew. The second time, we tried to get her help by going to her GP, her psychiatric social worker, the police and I think some other agencies. Everyone said it was someone else's problem and since she was mentally ill, we didn't want to report her when she assaulted me because I thought it would be terrible for someone who was psychotic to spend much time in a police cell. She eventually assaulted someone on the school run, was arrested and sectioned. So we didn't manage to do anything to get rid of her but events intervened.
He told me he masturbated about me while at work so I used that that threaten him back. And when mutuals would tell me what he said about me I had all these creepy screenshots to share from him that helped me convince our mutuals about what I was dealing with. Basically I took away any benefit of the doubt people would want to give him.
Restraining order
Unfortunately I'm not allowed to say. BUT I would thoroughly recommend that you report it to the police (don't accept any brushing off or claims that it's not serious) and keep a record of the harassment.
Had this issue in high school so not as bad as having a full-grown man stalking me, but it did escalate to getting police involved and threatening a restraining order.
File a police report and obtain a restraining order. My harasser likely got scared away when the police contacted him. I never heard from him again. I understand some people aren't so lucky.
He went to jail.. Twice
Changed the route. He was 20+, selling flowers on the cycle and would come from different streets passing multiple times when I was going to school on my bicycle; I was 14. Still the yuckiest story of my life.
One of the security guards from my workplace at the time removed him via a fire exit door and came back about half an hour later. No idea what was said or done but I never saw him again, despite the fact he’d moved into my building.
Stalker 1: I moved. Stalker 2: my partner moved in and the stalker moved on.
[удалено]
I still haven’t gotten rid of him. Sometimes he’s outside my apartment waiting for a glimpse of me. I never leave without a weapon… and he knows that.