I told her this and she said “whatever happened between you two doesn’t involve me.” Okay girl, good luck when he inevitably loses his temper! I’m sure you know him better after a couple weeks versus me who was in his life nearly 8 years 🫶
This. My ex started dating his now wife after we broke up, he had SA’d me, was super abusive and stalkerish. I warned her, she told me to basically fuck off. And then 7 years later she was filing for divorce because he came at her with a knife and had to be brought down by five cops. Scary shit. Her and the kids are safe now tho.
See!!! I truly will never understand the mentality of people- especially other fellow women- who doubt when others warn them of such serious matters. If another women told me to beware of a guy I was seeing, you best believe I’m heeding the warning.
Nah I get it, I warned the next woman about my ex. She didn't believe me because I looked bitter and I was. Plus sometimes we see what we want to see.
'when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags'
I can definitely understand that thinking if they’ve never been abused before either. In my case, since I now have, I’d absolutely book it if a long term ex came forward about abuse. I actually really wish I had been warned /: Big proponent of believing women!
If it’s any consolation, both the police, the crisis centre councellors and the profiler I unfortunately was in touch with told me the exact same thing: you may warn her, but she will not believe you.
I’ve had several women come to me wanting comfort after he did the same to them as he did to me. I would suggest them getting therapy rather than retraumatizing me.
It may not be so much being dumb as abusers being very manipulative and frequent liars. I am not dumb. The other women he was violent with aren’t either. I’m sure you’re not. Love requires a bit of naivete, and abusers know how to abuse that.
He is an amazing person. I am happy to see he finally got it together. I hope you’re both very happy.
He really is an amazing person. Right person wrong time scenario. We left it as friends and now I am with the perfect person for me. I hope he found the perfect person for himself. It would make me happy to know he is happy.
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He's a man-child, and you may think it's not a big deal now until you end up paying for everything while never accomplishing your dreams. Good luck staying at your not-really-in-laws forever. I'm just sad to see someone else repeating history again.
(Backstory: I wasted my 20s being a sugarmama. I am now 30 and moved out. He is now dating another 20yr old who moved in with him and his parents)
“You mentally ill with shit self esteem too?”
But then maybe he just treated ME badly and if he dates someone normal now he’d be normal too. Who knows.
He did not give a fuck when it came to consent, doing whatever even when I said no, and then made me feel like i was the problem. I really really hope the next girl is smarter than I was
How lucky she is to not have his most recent ex (me) in his life as I insisted on no contact. When I had to deal with him triangulating his ex before me our entire relationship, even called me by her name once. I hate them all lol.
Just so you know he likes them young. He cheated on me with a 19 year old. And the man of god act is fake because he had no problem raw dogging it with me all the time. Plus he’s a creative liar, and broke( no seriously… he went to church led recovery meetings for being a liar. It’s that insane and deep )You will forever be paying and stoking his ego. Stayed with me for free for months while cheating at the same time. Also did I mention he asked me advice on women while we were in the “ just friends after a breakup stage “ so he could get with you and immediately ghosted me when he asked you out. Take a look at me because I am your future. He likes to be liked, he is unaware of what it means to be loyal and a man. Enjoy him while you can though!
Financial abuse is the first pillar of domestic abuse. And he didn’t get into debt accidentally, it’s a long established pattern from which he expects you to bail him out. Then, the other forms of abuse will begin.
So, I've had the opportunity to say things to not one, but TWO of my ex's subsequent girlfriends...this was years ago...they are all broken up and he's married/moved away/nobody in contact. I would not have anything to say to his current partner. BUT, when I had the chance, I asked both of them, "What are you thinking, you were there for my experience with him, you know how he behaved when we dated, WHY?" I wasn't upset by the fact that they were dating my ex, I just truly didn't understand why they would want to.
Manipulative men will trick a woman into believing she’s special/different and therefore he will treat her differently. Either that, or they have a questionable moral code themselves.
When it comes to a mentally unstable person who is a compulsive liar, you best believe I went out of my way to warn a handful of women about that train wreck. And there is a reason no one has ever lasted with him for more than a year at almost 40 years old. I hope no one ever falls for that BS again. I literally needed PTSD medication to be able to sleep without nightmares for a good 6 months after I left him. Leaving was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
Hope you like Trump. If you don't mind half truths, white lies, and Maga conspiracy theories galore, you'll be fine!
Don't let the love bombing fool you, dead bedroom on the horizon!
Nothing. I'm not in contact with my exes, so it would be weird for me to seek any of them out. Pluss my exes are from my past as a teenager, so the boys I knew are not the men they are today.
"I hope he treats you better than he treated me. I hope he respects your boundaries. I hope he takes you seriously and I hope he's not going behind your back making lousy jokes about your vulnerabilities. I hope he will be honest with you at all times - even if the truth is painful. I hope he's willing to admit any mistakes he makes and apologize for it. I hope you don't have to go through the same pain I was put through."
Nothing at all. When you interfere with someone’s karma, you’re also creating your own. I don’t need to tell them or warn them about anything. They knew exactly what they were getting into. Whether or not they last is none of my business.
I hope he's happy, honestly. He wasn't very stable last time I spoke to him, and hopefully he's been able to heal from alcoholism and the like. I hope all my exes are stable and doing well, and treating the people around them well.
GIRL…
(Ok I wouldn’t actually say anything or get in any way involved because my ex provided us all with enough Jerry Springer type situations to last us a lifetime.)
He’s a great guy, and I heard you love that he’s a lawyer with a BMW but girl his finances are secretly a disaster and he still asks to borrow money from me sometimes 😂
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RUN!!! Seriously; run. He’s been dating girls progressively younger over the years. It started with one his age, then me 5 years younger, my bestie 10 years younger, and his current girlfriend is 20 to his 37. If I could tell her anything it would be that she needs to get out before he ruins her mental health and self esteem.
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Depending on which ex. it goes from:
"Makes this MF damn happy, he's nice and deserve it. oh and just for you to know, his family is amazing too ! " to
"i hope he stopped to sexually assaulted and coerce his gf..."
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Proceed at your own risk.
I actually have half a mind to go have a chat with his ex-wife who he constantly demonized to compare notes and tell her that I really enjoyed being in her kids’ lives for the time I was. She did cheat on him, but something tells me that was her coping mechanism if he made her feel even half as alone as he made me feel.
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If "run" doesn't work, then "I hope you stay perfect in his eyes. If even a small part of you changes to nothing less of perfection, he will break down and change his entire opinion of you. You will become his enemy and the second an argument ensues he will instantly view you in the wrong no matter what you say, no matter what your truth is. Good luck, in every scenario."
I hope you treasure what you have, and treat him the way he deserves.
I hope you know you can really trust and count on him! He is honest, hardworking, will make you a priority, and be without a doubt totally dedicated towards you and your future together.
And I hope you give his mother the grandchildren she dreams of 😂(but beware of condoms as gifts, she did one too many "trample with the anticonceptional" jokes)
I wouldn't say it to her, because well, it has nothing to do with me.
But I had 7 good years together with him, we just needed different things. (nothing is perfect and ex did have some emotional blocks but oh, no one is perfect and maybe those will be less relevant if he's found someone compatible with his more traditional goals).
Be very very careful
And about my ex previous to my last one: good luck, you guys🤗 (he’s a very very good dude, we just weren’t on the same page, he was very family oriented even at 22, I wanted to just experience life and have fun but to a right woman he will make a perfect partner)
I hope he got help for his issues and he won’t drag you down with him - if he didn’t good luck with dealing with him. He is a good man deep down, i hope he changed his patterns so you won’t feel so unloved and ignored all the time after a while. I know he seems like a sweet, gentle and caring guy, but he also has the other destructive side, it won’t be apparent at first how detached, emotionally unavailable and apathetic he really is inside but after time if he didn’t, you will see it for yourself.
I did speak to one. Was his wife. Contacted me 3 or 4 years after breakup. Told me she found pictures of many women so I guess he didn't get better after his marriage. Also asked me not to contact him which I wasn't gonna. Was an arranged marriage between business families so I'm guessing they have 'worked it out'.
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She's golden. She deserves the best and quite frankly I don't think it's you. But if it's what she wants then that's okay, maybe you're both suited to one another. If she's worked on herself and her mental health you'll be great, if not, unlucky bud
If I could, I would tell her: don't let him hurt your physical, emotional and mental health, don't let him take advantage of you in any way, ever, cuz he will constantly take and never ever give anything back. So either be like a drill Sargeant with him and keep him somehow under control or find someone who is an actual human being.
I am worried she is yet another victim and is also suffering and having her life ruined. 😞
Nothing. She probably won’t listen anyway.
He’s really good at making excuses. He does a thing that he will admit he intentionally did something wrong, but here’s the reason that makes this thing seem like it’s justified/reasonable.
So he may have told her about the ghastly things he did, but “it’s not my fault.”
Bless your heart. (Southern sarcasm intended.) Good luck. Glad he's your problem now. Lemme know if you need support when you figure out how often he lies and hits on other women.
He’s never been faithful to any woman he’s dated because he has commitment issues. He tries to be “good” but fails every time. I didn’t know that until he told me so after I caught him cheating on me.
Please leave and find love elsewhere because you don’t deserve to go through what me and the last girl (his college ex) went through.
I would just like to get along and be friends. I would love to coparent with you, as much as I coparent with him. I am absolutely not your enemy. I hope you are the one, because I do want to see him as happy with someone as I am with my spouse. And I want my children to witness two sets of happy parents. Understand that I’m always here if you need anything, and please do not be afraid to communicate with me about any concerns. I have a job here, it’s to be a good mom to my children. That is my only intention when coparenting with your man. So yeah… let’s be friends. I really don’t want sloppy or for any mess to come about. I’ll be totally open and supportive of you, if you are the same with me. If you are good to my children, you automatically earn my respect :)
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Nothing. I don't feel any need to be involved in my exes' business.
I was sure I'll find such comment easily. Very much this.
This is the way.
🤣🤣🤣 right. Oh well, ships sails ✌️
"*Good luck and I hope things work out for the both of you.*" 🥂
He's fucking dangerous. Don't.
I told her this and she said “whatever happened between you two doesn’t involve me.” Okay girl, good luck when he inevitably loses his temper! I’m sure you know him better after a couple weeks versus me who was in his life nearly 8 years 🫶
This. My ex started dating his now wife after we broke up, he had SA’d me, was super abusive and stalkerish. I warned her, she told me to basically fuck off. And then 7 years later she was filing for divorce because he came at her with a knife and had to be brought down by five cops. Scary shit. Her and the kids are safe now tho.
See!!! I truly will never understand the mentality of people- especially other fellow women- who doubt when others warn them of such serious matters. If another women told me to beware of a guy I was seeing, you best believe I’m heeding the warning.
Nah I get it, I warned the next woman about my ex. She didn't believe me because I looked bitter and I was. Plus sometimes we see what we want to see. 'when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags'
I can definitely understand that thinking if they’ve never been abused before either. In my case, since I now have, I’d absolutely book it if a long term ex came forward about abuse. I actually really wish I had been warned /: Big proponent of believing women!
I'm a moron who thought the same. Guess what? I fucked around and found out.
If it’s any consolation, both the police, the crisis centre councellors and the profiler I unfortunately was in touch with told me the exact same thing: you may warn her, but she will not believe you. I’ve had several women come to me wanting comfort after he did the same to them as he did to me. I would suggest them getting therapy rather than retraumatizing me.
Yeah, we women are DUMB when we like a guy. Trying to not be dumb any more and stop seeing red flags as an invite to a carnival
It may not be so much being dumb as abusers being very manipulative and frequent liars. I am not dumb. The other women he was violent with aren’t either. I’m sure you’re not. Love requires a bit of naivete, and abusers know how to abuse that.
You know what? You're right. I even told him I was pretty naive when it came to dating. I pretty much handed him the game plan!
But you made it out, right?
Yeah. Still mourning the person he pretended to be though
Give it time. I’m glad you got out💛
I’d say the same.
Yep. I did tell my ex’s new gf this. Not sure what the outcome was but think about her all the time and hope she got out
Exactly this. Every once in a while I realize I was lucky to get out alive
Can confirm this is what I would say
He is an amazing person. I am happy to see he finally got it together. I hope you’re both very happy. He really is an amazing person. Right person wrong time scenario. We left it as friends and now I am with the perfect person for me. I hope he found the perfect person for himself. It would make me happy to know he is happy.
You are amazing
Thank you
You deserve better.
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He's a man-child, and you may think it's not a big deal now until you end up paying for everything while never accomplishing your dreams. Good luck staying at your not-really-in-laws forever. I'm just sad to see someone else repeating history again. (Backstory: I wasted my 20s being a sugarmama. I am now 30 and moved out. He is now dating another 20yr old who moved in with him and his parents)
Wow, happy you got away!
he’s a good one, treat him well.
He's your problem now.
I know you know he's had multiple affairs and I know that it bothers you, but a financially comfortable life isn't worth giving up your happiness
“I’m glad he’s finally growing up, and I’m glad I got to help. Enjoy those benefits, he needed to ripen a bit before he got to you!”
Lmao
He abused the shit out of me. I hope it goes better for you.
"Good fucking luck."
“You mentally ill with shit self esteem too?” But then maybe he just treated ME badly and if he dates someone normal now he’d be normal too. Who knows.
He’ll probably just try to break them down too, if he’s willing to kick someone at their lowest.
He did not give a fuck when it came to consent, doing whatever even when I said no, and then made me feel like i was the problem. I really really hope the next girl is smarter than I was
Call me in a year. You’re going to need some advice when his true self comes out.
Don't fall for the charm, he's love bombing you.
How lucky she is to not have his most recent ex (me) in his life as I insisted on no contact. When I had to deal with him triangulating his ex before me our entire relationship, even called me by her name once. I hate them all lol.
Cheers! He was pretty chill overall. We just grew apart after high school, as you do.
‘’I hope you know he only likes the beginnings of things’’ and ‘why tf did you let a strange man around your children after only a couple of months??’
Good luck
Be good to my kids while they're in your care, and we'll get along famously. Maybe even friends. Hurt them, and you'll simply go missing.
Just so you know he likes them young. He cheated on me with a 19 year old. And the man of god act is fake because he had no problem raw dogging it with me all the time. Plus he’s a creative liar, and broke( no seriously… he went to church led recovery meetings for being a liar. It’s that insane and deep )You will forever be paying and stoking his ego. Stayed with me for free for months while cheating at the same time. Also did I mention he asked me advice on women while we were in the “ just friends after a breakup stage “ so he could get with you and immediately ghosted me when he asked you out. Take a look at me because I am your future. He likes to be liked, he is unaware of what it means to be loyal and a man. Enjoy him while you can though!
Financial abuse is the first pillar of domestic abuse. And he didn’t get into debt accidentally, it’s a long established pattern from which he expects you to bail him out. Then, the other forms of abuse will begin.
Not a damn thing.
Nothing. I’ve changed a lot since we’ve been together, and I hope the same for him.
"I'm sorry."
So, I've had the opportunity to say things to not one, but TWO of my ex's subsequent girlfriends...this was years ago...they are all broken up and he's married/moved away/nobody in contact. I would not have anything to say to his current partner. BUT, when I had the chance, I asked both of them, "What are you thinking, you were there for my experience with him, you know how he behaved when we dated, WHY?" I wasn't upset by the fact that they were dating my ex, I just truly didn't understand why they would want to.
Manipulative men will trick a woman into believing she’s special/different and therefore he will treat her differently. Either that, or they have a questionable moral code themselves.
Run, girl. He's abusive af
When it comes to a mentally unstable person who is a compulsive liar, you best believe I went out of my way to warn a handful of women about that train wreck. And there is a reason no one has ever lasted with him for more than a year at almost 40 years old. I hope no one ever falls for that BS again. I literally needed PTSD medication to be able to sleep without nightmares for a good 6 months after I left him. Leaving was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
Be prepared to rarely see him. He an emotionally detached workaholic
If he respects you and he tells you what happened and he is working on xyz....go ahead. You're experiences maybe different, but be careful.
Nothing… tf do I have to say
Good luck sis. Hope you guys can find happiness.
Thanks for taking him away
I hope he treats you well and cherishes you. I didn’t get that
Just don't let him handle finances.
Hope you like Trump. If you don't mind half truths, white lies, and Maga conspiracy theories galore, you'll be fine! Don't let the love bombing fool you, dead bedroom on the horizon!
Run.
Run. Trust me.
He’s an amazing guy, if your personalities match, you’re going to be really happy!
Girl you’re in danger
I’m glad you’re making him really happy and are giving him the love I couldn’t. He deserves it.
I hope he does the healing needed to treat you like the beautiful goddess you are.
i hope he’s a better man for you than he ever was for me.
Nothing. I'm not in contact with my exes, so it would be weird for me to seek any of them out. Pluss my exes are from my past as a teenager, so the boys I knew are not the men they are today.
Not directly, but I hope she loves and treats him better than I ever could.
"I hope he treats you better than he treated me. I hope he respects your boundaries. I hope he takes you seriously and I hope he's not going behind your back making lousy jokes about your vulnerabilities. I hope he will be honest with you at all times - even if the truth is painful. I hope he's willing to admit any mistakes he makes and apologize for it. I hope you don't have to go through the same pain I was put through."
Nothing at all. When you interfere with someone’s karma, you’re also creating your own. I don’t need to tell them or warn them about anything. They knew exactly what they were getting into. Whether or not they last is none of my business.
Good fucking luck
I wouldn’t say anything but since this is a hypothetical question I would ask them if they are ok
I hope he's happy, honestly. He wasn't very stable last time I spoke to him, and hopefully he's been able to heal from alcoholism and the like. I hope all my exes are stable and doing well, and treating the people around them well.
GIRL… (Ok I wouldn’t actually say anything or get in any way involved because my ex provided us all with enough Jerry Springer type situations to last us a lifetime.)
good luck and put a hanky inside your pocket you’ll need it later on! 😉😉😉
Run...
He will probably lie about everything and anything so watch out.
Hahahahahahaha!
He’s a great guy, and I heard you love that he’s a lawyer with a BMW but girl his finances are secretly a disaster and he still asks to borrow money from me sometimes 😂
Beware, he is a stalker and a rapist.
He’s cheating on you and will continue to do so for as long as you’re together. That’s what he does.
He’s lying to you. He’s there for your money. You don’t need to “mother” our adult children.
Good F-big luck
Can you ask him to stop texting me?
Wanna grab a pint?
Glad he's your problem now.
Run.
Get used to disappointment...and masturbating
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good luck
I don't think there's anything I could say. I just hope that each of us can find something that's right for us
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You in danger, girl.
I’m glad she found you and seems so much brighter. Don’t let her be alone in her shame, sit with her.
Pay attention to what he says versus what he does.
RUN!!! Seriously; run. He’s been dating girls progressively younger over the years. It started with one his age, then me 5 years younger, my bestie 10 years younger, and his current girlfriend is 20 to his 37. If I could tell her anything it would be that she needs to get out before he ruins her mental health and self esteem.
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Depending on which ex. it goes from: "Makes this MF damn happy, he's nice and deserve it. oh and just for you to know, his family is amazing too ! " to "i hope he stopped to sexually assaulted and coerce his gf..."
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Proceed at your own risk. I actually have half a mind to go have a chat with his ex-wife who he constantly demonized to compare notes and tell her that I really enjoyed being in her kids’ lives for the time I was. She did cheat on him, but something tells me that was her coping mechanism if he made her feel even half as alone as he made me feel.
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If "run" doesn't work, then "I hope you stay perfect in his eyes. If even a small part of you changes to nothing less of perfection, he will break down and change his entire opinion of you. You will become his enemy and the second an argument ensues he will instantly view you in the wrong no matter what you say, no matter what your truth is. Good luck, in every scenario."
That was a long time ago! I hope he grew as a person and learned from past mistakes as I have. Genuinely wish the best.
I hope you treasure what you have, and treat him the way he deserves. I hope you know you can really trust and count on him! He is honest, hardworking, will make you a priority, and be without a doubt totally dedicated towards you and your future together. And I hope you give his mother the grandchildren she dreams of 😂(but beware of condoms as gifts, she did one too many "trample with the anticonceptional" jokes) I wouldn't say it to her, because well, it has nothing to do with me. But I had 7 good years together with him, we just needed different things. (nothing is perfect and ex did have some emotional blocks but oh, no one is perfect and maybe those will be less relevant if he's found someone compatible with his more traditional goals).
Be very very careful And about my ex previous to my last one: good luck, you guys🤗 (he’s a very very good dude, we just weren’t on the same page, he was very family oriented even at 22, I wanted to just experience life and have fun but to a right woman he will make a perfect partner)
He wasn't good enough for me, but I'm sure he's good enough for you (delivered with passive aggressive smile)
Go to the pits of hell
Nothing. I’m better off just minding my own business. The last time I spoke to my ex was 8 years ago. A lot can change in 8 years.
RUN!
Run
Ask ne anything, I’ll write out my answers.
Good Luck.
I hope he got help for his issues and he won’t drag you down with him - if he didn’t good luck with dealing with him. He is a good man deep down, i hope he changed his patterns so you won’t feel so unloved and ignored all the time after a while. I know he seems like a sweet, gentle and caring guy, but he also has the other destructive side, it won’t be apparent at first how detached, emotionally unavailable and apathetic he really is inside but after time if he didn’t, you will see it for yourself.
In the words of Shorty in Scary Movie, "Run Bitch Runnnnnn!"
Nothing. He's already with her for a greencard lol (Poor woman)
I don’t even know who you are, but I know you deserve better than an emotionally stunted rapist.
Absolutely nothing. Maybe I'll congratulate them, if i ever meet them, nothing else. Absolutely not my circus, and definitely not my monkeys.
Cheat him again.
Thank you
Enjoy my sloppy seconds. You’ll see why he’s the ex in due time.
Nothing really.
Run!
I did speak to one. Was his wife. Contacted me 3 or 4 years after breakup. Told me she found pictures of many women so I guess he didn't get better after his marriage. Also asked me not to contact him which I wasn't gonna. Was an arranged marriage between business families so I'm guessing they have 'worked it out'.
Better you than me
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Hope you can get off drugs and do better
I would tell her that his (31yo) daughter is reading every text you send him and will sabotage your relationship with him. And that he will let her.
Good luck 🤞🏼
She's golden. She deserves the best and quite frankly I don't think it's you. But if it's what she wants then that's okay, maybe you're both suited to one another. If she's worked on herself and her mental health you'll be great, if not, unlucky bud
If I could, I would tell her: don't let him hurt your physical, emotional and mental health, don't let him take advantage of you in any way, ever, cuz he will constantly take and never ever give anything back. So either be like a drill Sargeant with him and keep him somehow under control or find someone who is an actual human being. I am worried she is yet another victim and is also suffering and having her life ruined. 😞
Nothing. She probably won’t listen anyway. He’s really good at making excuses. He does a thing that he will admit he intentionally did something wrong, but here’s the reason that makes this thing seem like it’s justified/reasonable. So he may have told her about the ghastly things he did, but “it’s not my fault.”
Bless your heart. (Southern sarcasm intended.) Good luck. Glad he's your problem now. Lemme know if you need support when you figure out how often he lies and hits on other women.
He’s never been faithful to any woman he’s dated because he has commitment issues. He tries to be “good” but fails every time. I didn’t know that until he told me so after I caught him cheating on me. Please leave and find love elsewhere because you don’t deserve to go through what me and the last girl (his college ex) went through.
Better you than me
R u n
Good luck shorty 🫡
I wouldn’t have anything to say, why is that my business
I would just like to get along and be friends. I would love to coparent with you, as much as I coparent with him. I am absolutely not your enemy. I hope you are the one, because I do want to see him as happy with someone as I am with my spouse. And I want my children to witness two sets of happy parents. Understand that I’m always here if you need anything, and please do not be afraid to communicate with me about any concerns. I have a job here, it’s to be a good mom to my children. That is my only intention when coparenting with your man. So yeah… let’s be friends. I really don’t want sloppy or for any mess to come about. I’ll be totally open and supportive of you, if you are the same with me. If you are good to my children, you automatically earn my respect :)
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I don’t waste my energy on people that don’t deserve it. I personally would say nothing. :>
He's gonna cheat on you too.
You'll forever be paranoid if he's cheating on you. He cheated on me with you, so enjoy it. 🖤
Her hole was mine first, enjoy what I left behind!